/ck/ - Food & Cooking

gotta appease the algorithm

>when I was a kid, on cold winter days, my g.....and then .....

>my family tried this recipe and had to come back for seconds and thirds

>my son usually hates sweets and even he had to admit this triple chocolate cake was delicious

>>14044379
>>14044393
Fucking Karen recipes. I swear to fucking god if I have to read a goddamn essay about how her family of nine loves he goddamn banana bread!
JUST TELL ME THE FUCKING RECIPE!@!!

>>14044379
If you're talking about the history of the recipe and origins than I don't mind if it leads to an authentic historical recipe or a modern take on it

>>14044379
Stop using white people recipes. Find some good cookbooks

>when I was a kid I remember I used to bleed out of my anus, enough that it would stain all my clothes and get on my bedsheets. My mother used the leftover blood to make blood sausages. Here is that recipe. Eating my own cooked and solidified anus blood really brings back memories
>last step of the recipe is "enjoy!"

>>14044379
So much crap to sift through. /ck/ told me about chef john though and his recipes are great (wish he wrote cooking instructions though instead of video only). no BS, maybe a few pieces of info about origin, substitute information. find the way he talks a bit strange though

How is /ck/ of all places still complaining about this? Recipe websites are all formatted like this because they are incentivized to do so. They have to write a story to sound authentic and genuine while inserting amazon links to make it seem organic instead of as the advertising it is. When you go look up a recipe, just immediately hit the End key then scroll up a bit. The recipe is always at the bottom

>wa la

>Search for some recipe
>Find one that looks good from thumbnail
>See the word "hubby" in intro
>Start to cringe
>Find a different recipe

>>14044691
>wish he wrote cooking instructions though instead of video only
he does.
on foodwishes.com and Allrecipes he posts his recipes in written format and you can make it nice on the screen by hitting the print instructions button.

>>14044886
oh, cool thanks

>>14044379
>not exclusively using Allrecipes
Must be a rough life kid

For me, it's my homemade McChicken recipe. The best all organic sandwich you can make for your family. I even make up extra McChicken sauce and the kids who are usually so picky are happy and more than willing to scarf it down.

One time my husband asked for McChicken sauce and I gave him my new gluten-free sauce that I made in my suuuuper convenient stand mixer. He said, "Wow, rootin' for no gluten!" and I laughed and said, "I'm going to call this recipe 'My BEST McChicken recipe with Rootin' for no Gluten sauce that's sooooooo crispy'!".

Now my family greets me every day with "rootin' for no gluten!" and ALWAYS asks for extra gluten-free, non GMO, homemade McChicken sauce that's gone in seconds. It's such an amazing and cozy atmosphere in our household kitchen, I go there at least 3 times a day to whip up meals full of love for my husband and kids, preparing sandwhiches with "The one-and-only most delectable sourdough sandwich buns you didn't know you needed" and locally sourced meat and produce, making up whole wheat gluten-free pancakes on the weekend with kosher salt and unsalted butter, and always for dinner because my loved ones deserve a great meal that is made with love, and is delicious and nutritious too.

Without further ado, from our family to yours, here's how you make hands down the best McChicken. Enjoy!

>>14044760
wah-lah

>>14044760
>wah-lah

>>14044379
I hate how absolutely every kind of article these days has to involve an entire essay on the history and basics of whatever it is I’m trying to look up.

>>14044379
Women were a mistake

>>14044379
I never have this problem since I only look up on jewtube.

>>14044913
It's literally in every one of his video descriptions. He even references it in his videos anon. Pay attention.

I have all the time in the world and I'm legitimately looking for more challenging stuff to pick up new skills.

LITERALLY can't find a single recipe that isn't "easy this" "super simple" or the "quickest" that. Try, you can't!

Fuck goddamn it's especially bad with bread. "Easy no knead!!!!!"

This is the easiest super simple ****** you will ever make!!!!!!!

>>14045353
Give a hoot. Read a book.

Internet 2.0 was a mistake.

I want to go back to the days of webrings and IRC chats.

>>14044379
HAHAHA SO RELATABLE!

>>14045415
I'd be reading books if the ones I bought over two months ago have shipped yet.

>>14044954
now thats a spicy fucking meme

>>14045330
That's far worse though

You get 20 minutes of some BA wagie fucking around and like 1 min of the actual recipe

Drove me spare for Andy's bolognese, which turned out to be shit anyway

These recipes always use too little spice. Fucking basic bitch pallettes.

>>14046815
Of course, they're all written by middle aged white women who think black pepper is "too spicy"

>>14044379
There's a Chrome add-on called Recipe Filter that more or less fixes this problem

>>14046827
Not even hot spices. Like cumin, paprika, ground coriander etc
It's always a teaspoon or 2 teaspoons. It's just not enough for the amount of liquids and ingredients.

>using recipes

you deserve it

>>14046882
Ok McChicken poster.

its because most people are complete idiots have latent insecurities. these idiots also keep the clickbait industry alive and well.
they are also the kind of people without hope, drive or vision looking to coast through life and scurry through the path of least existence as they look for any sort of stimulation that doesn't require any effort, be it mental or physical. thus resulting with a fear of confrontation so they dont say anything and instead read through the bullshit and the ads. they are scared to think. its pathetic

>>14047029
But hubby loves it!!

>>14044379
>When my bubbe moved from her stetl in a far flung corner of what is now Belarus, she brought the rich local traditions with her to the new world.
>I have fond memories as a child of the comfort food she would cook for us.
>One day I had come crying into bubbe's arms after grazing my knee when play on the street got rowdy - I had tried to break into a run, forgetting that my feeble Jew genes would cause me to suffer an allergic reaction to any physical exertion. I sneezed and tripped over my payot.
>In no time, bubbe had me seated with a big bowl of her chicken soup, cooked over goat dung in a broth of the blood of tortured blonde-haired blue-eyed children.

My hubby and the kids LOVE this recipe.

Copyright, you can't copyright a recipe. More space for ads when you right a memoir, More words equal better search engine optimization. And dumb roasties think people care about what they have to say.

>>14044387
You actually need x amount of words per blog post so you can place adds in it
Now you know

>>14044915
>he doesn't find an ethnicfag for each dish he cooks
ngmi, enjoy Laura Jackson's take on general tsao's

>>14044379
>recipe ingredients/steps are sprinkled between the soliloquy

I would rather have TWO essays and a blog about their 2nd grade reading project if I could skip all of the cancerous ads and videos

but anon, surely you have ad blocker, I hear you say
well 4chan my guy, not on my phone or any flat touchscreen handheld where I can have against the wall or on a countertop

the ads are the most insufferable pieces of shitfuck

This is why videos and cookbooks are superior. Most of the time if you youtube a recipe, you can just hit the top 2 or 3 entries and either watch the video and skip to the important parts or just get the recipe in the description. No faggot Karens droning on about summers with nan nan and pip pop.

>>14047261
Use brave browser, go into its settings and make sure its your default browser, also I use prefered desktop site settings. Wa la

>>14047261
Use Firefox, install uBlock origin

A hot pocket warned me for posting this and he didn't even get paid to do it
Any time I've tried to make an ethnic dish using something like Allrecipes or some karen blogger it's come out mediocre as fuck because the recipes are written for dumb white midwesterners with no taste. You need good cookbooks written by people who grew up eating the style of food you want or became experts in it.
If you want to make shepherd's pie or something, you could use Gordon Ramsay, since he's an expert. But don't use Karen from Indiana's blog.

>>14044379
>be Americlap
>browse /ck/ and get craving for yorkshire puddings
>look up recipe and click first link
>scrolling and literally can't find the recipe
>same four pics of the dish repeated three times
>incredibly long diatribe I ignore
>find recipe
>four ingredients; two steps
>takes up <5% of the page
I really hope these white women are the first to go when the masses chimpout and start looting

>>14047520
lol

Pro tip: don’t ever read recipes by women. They tend to blab on forever in recipe stories just like they talk.

>>14044379
I can relate to that. Not to mention the use of retarded units, "dashes", "sprinkles" and "to taste"s. I mean, do they even care to write for who's actually going to cook their dishes? I don't think so and don't understand why.

I guess a culinary blog just stating ingredient proportions by mass %, techniques to apply and objective results to aim at for each detailed step wouldn't be entertaining enought.

That's a pity. btw, I dream of an app with such features to note down my own recipes.

>>14047571
you can write them down, dog

>>14045676
that's why you watch Chef John, he doesn't fuck around https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR8qD11QfOI

>>14047571

>>14047574
>>14047642
I already to that. But it's subpar for refining iterations, scaling-up and sharing. Anyway, I picture recipes like process engineering/organic chemistry diagrams and feel very very lonely in my case.

>not using recipe filter or google translate to find an ethnic recipe

>>14047734
use a Google doc
I have a catch all for links, copypasta recipes, and my own renditions
then if I wanna share, I make a new doc and copy-paste the recipe I wanna share
it's not optimal but it works especially for technologically challenged Boomers

>>14044379

hubby's favorite

>>14047261
root your phone with magisk or something, then you can use hosts based blocking. No impact on cpu or battery life. If you can't root, adaway works fine.

>>14044886
If only Babish did this reliably too.
I guess he wants to sell his cookbooks.

>me frantically scrolling through loading ads and memoirs on my phone to get to the ingredients list

>>14048331
I just screenshot it on my PC and paste it into my synced notepad

>>14048331
god this looked so fucking stupid
how did they fuck up the Hobbit so bad

>>14044954
Good work anon

>>14044379
Stop going to libtard recipe sites silly

>>14048986
I would have to scroll past the first page of google

>>14044954
lol didnt expect something like this, A for effort

>>14045317
must be tiring

>>14046882
i agree with the sentiment but your still retarded

>>14047029
nice projecting
you braindead incels dont understand this but they have to pad out the text for SEO reasons

>>14047430
>>>/biz/

Oh look, its THIS thread again,my favorite! How original! What an astute observation, haha it sure is annoying when you're looking for a recipe but Karen had to write an entire novel about it!

>>14044954