/ck/ - Food & Cooking

this but unironically

>>14081756
more like soyster lmao

>>14081756
Raw oyster literally tastes like cucumber flavored cum

>>14081756
Actual cum is more appetizing, or at least mine is.

>>14081824
this
oysters are horrible
cum unironically tastes better than oysters

>>14081824
>>14081832
Post budding trans breasts and cock

>t. flyover retards
I'll enjoy fresh local oysters while you rural retards seethe over this delicious treat you will never be able to truly enjoy. I hope your crops fail and a black person moves into your county. I live in a rich New England beach town that has less than a dozen non whites in it. Average income is well over 6 figures. The oysters you fucking plebs are eating are the fucked up weird ones that we send to you as a joke. God reading /ck/ is always a good laugh because it's so easy to spot the poors on this board. I can't wait until you are all chipped and we can make sure none of you wander into our neighborhood without mowing my lawn.

>>14081835
Not trans but if this was /soc/ and I hadn't c00med already I would probably post a webm.

>>14081845
I live in Maine and oysters are gross.

>>14081835
ew I'm just gay not a tranny

>>14081756
>Mmm yum what a delicacy a wad of cum in a rock how appetizing oh let me at it

>It's white, it look like cum, I'm a black man and not gay, get that mayo looking shit away from me, I bet it came from a big hard throbbing dicjk lmao faggots, can't believe people would eat hot delicious cum like that

>>14081756
I like deep fried oysters

>>14081848
Unless you are in Kennebunk (seasonally) you're poor.

>>14081756
I'd kill for an oyster shooter right about now.

this is that shit that mr bean poured into some lady's purse in one of the mr bean movies

>>14081868
me too. let's go hit up a nice seafood restaurant and kill each other

>>14081868
Whats that liquid?

>>14081963
juice

>>14081863
The Kennedys had a thing at Hyannis in their basement where there was a big tub filled with oysters and had a big long pipe that went out to the ocean so the water would automatically get changed each day with the tide coming and going. That shit sounds dope.

>>14081963
Vodka.

>>14081756
cant eat one without gagging
>>14081868
but this looks pretty appetizing

whats wrong with me?

>>14081848
>>14081845

>>14081845
>..and we can make sure none of you wander into our neighborhood without mowing my lawn.
He just wants a chance to mow his lawn before we come over. I get it man that shits embarrassing gotta tidy up.

>>14082126
>>14082157
Don't you have a fast food thread to post in? I'm sure they could use the perspective of the deep fryer guy.

>>14082183
Nice cock wine east coast faggot

>>14082126
lol nice

>>14081924
Nah nah you got it mixed up with his food poisoning. Its beef tartare he hides in the purse.

>>14081756
I've only had smoked oysters which are wonderful. I do like cerviche and sashimi though, I imagine raw oysters are similar.

>>14081756
Apparently you're not even supposed to chew them, you just swallow.
I don't get the point of them if you can't really savor them.

>>14081963
Cum haven’t you been reading the thread?

>>14082126
holy rektola

>>14081756
>>14081764
>>14081807
>>14081832
>>14081850

In Louisiana we make a quick cocktail sauce with ketchup, horseradish, lemon, black pepper, and a dash of worchestshire. Dip your raw oyster in that and chrow it on a cracker or a toast point and you've got a winner my friend

>>14081845
>t. one of the six nogs in the town who loves the taste of cum.

Admit it, you mow your grass and everyone else's grass too. Don't feel bad, most landscapers like the way cum tastes.

>>14081963
Fuck juice.

>used to go to a beach where they'd sell you oysters that they'd find by the buckets
good times, can't believe how many of you have a worse palette than my 12 year old self

>>14084050
Genuinely cannot fathom being the kind of creature that would put this image together.

>>14081764
This but actually unironically.

Ever notice how only fat people like oysters? Literally food only the fat slobs will eat because of their insatiable food lust

Fucking love raw oysters. Mix some cocktail sauce, hot sauce and horseradish and lemon juice together and add a small drop on top and slide them into your mouth! Mmmm-mm.

Tastes like sea pussy.

>>14081845
I live in a coastal city and oysters suck. You seem like the kind of faggot that pretends to like stuff that isn't very good, instead of actually developing a personality. GUYS THE POPULAR CHEF SAID OYSTERS ARE GOOD SO I HAVE TO LIKE THEM.

When the time comes, your kind is going to be brutally slaughtered in the streets.

>>14084176
check out this edgelord supreme. imagine being so triggered by a food.

>>14084185
I must have struck a nerve huh? Chicken shits like you are running on borrowed time.

>>14084176
>eat an oyster
>it tastes good
why is that so hard for you to understand?

>>14081756
>>14081764
>>14081807
>>14081824
>>14081832
>>14081850
Why do you guys know what cum tastes like?

>>14084438
They don't taste good. You need to stop pretending.

>>14084567
Only lesbians have an excuse for not knowing, and this is not a lesbiam board.

Oysters are for pretentious fucks, it literally doesn't taste good, doesn't look good and doesn't feel nice in mouth.

But, it's a nice way for regular/poor people to scam the rich, just like we do with "expensive" olive oil that any med farmer considers basic. Keep listening to your "chefs" faggots, we're having a good laugh.

>this entire thread

Oysters are gross. Mussels are kino.

>>14084438
Stop pretending, you pretentious little nigger. You also like snot? Why don't you squeeze some lemon juice on the loogie I spit out on your plate you pretentious cock smoker.

>>14084626
back to /r/food, you dirty nigger.

>>14081963
My gf's clam drippings

>>14084717
if oysters taste like snot to you just cut off your tongue and starting chugging soylent instead

I pretty much hate them, but eat them for the zinc and healthy fats.

I much prefer Deens and anchovies.

>>14084797
Why would you eat something with the consistency of a wet booger? You can always tell who dug their nose and ate it as a child. Ruined your palate for life.

>>14084567

>>14084813
You seem to be quite familiar with that consistency

Goysters are for retards and poor people who want to pretend to be fancy. I live in Maine and besides the ones that are farmed, every oyster company pull those shits out of the nastiest fucking parts of the bay because it “adds flavor”. Yeah the flavor of Sharon’s huge dump that floated down from the sewage treatment plant runoff. Oysters are Absolute Shit tier, if you want a good shellfish get scallops.

>>14081845
>less than a dozen non whites
Fewer, not less. Idiot.

>>14084831
>Fewer, not less. Idiot.

>>14081756
>Man may contract hepatitis A after consumption of contaminated shellfish that has not been thoroughly cooked. Consumption of bivalve shellfish

>>14081756
I thought that was a slimy guinea pig inside half a hollowed out baked potato from the thumbnail

>>14084567
>>14084567
Because /ck/ is full of faggots

If you want to order oysters at a restaurant, ask the server how fresh they are. They should be able to tell you when they were last delivered.

Oysters should be served cold, swimming in their own juice. Pick up a smallish one if it's your first time, squeeze some lemon and add a dash of salt. Swallow whole.

The first time always puts me off a bit but the more you eat them, the better they get until you can't stop.

I always drink a vodka and coke but others would recommend some other kind of hard alcohol like tequila. It's up to you. Some people like the hot sauce, which is probably great but I enjoy just lemon juice and oysters standalone.

>>14085563
Sorry about the spacing. Wtf

>>14082065
Alcoholism

>>14085566
back you go now

The virgin oyster vs the chad STEAMERS
But oysters are p good with some Tabasco ngl

>>14081756
>MOMMY MOMMY EWWWW MY PLATE HAS AN ICKY ON IT TAKE IT AWAY NONONO GIVE ME A SLICE OF CHEESE PIZZA INSTEAD PLEASE!!!!

>>14081756
>wad of cum
no thats Shirako, now go be a faggot somewhere else while I enjoy my vibriosis

>>14085723
The Carthaginians defending the city were attacked by three Roman legions. The Carthaginians were proud and brave but they couldn't hold. They were massacred. Arab women stripped them of their tunics and their swords and lances. The soldiers lay naked in the sun. Two thousand years ago. I was here.

Before Reddit, I was here.

they're pretty good deep fried

yeah but you can FUCK on oysters th
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
thats why you all hate them

>>14081863
You're clearly larping. My family is middle class and we go to Kennebunk almost every year on the cheap

>>14085566
Kill yourself redditor. You aren't welcome here

How can so many of you know what cum taste like?

>>14081963
Gamer girl bathwater

>>14084619
This a 10 star post dude

This thread is a fucking travesty. I live in the best place in America for food, New Orleans, under 25 and make under 6 figures. I eat oysters (atleast I used to before ‘rona) bi-weekly and they’re fantastic. East coasters need not apply I’ve been mowing your lawn like rust mowed Marty’s for years now.

>>14081924
Mr beans holiday

>>14084831
based grammarian

>>14084567
You never even once were curious as to what your own cum tasted like? Wow, I thought this was a cooking board. You have to have more culinary curiosity.

>>14081756
>a wad of cum
Hydrate.

>>14084726
Why dont YOU go back

Similar take--eggs. An unborn chicken is tasty?
Lobster/crab--sea roaches are delicious?
Just go full native and eat worms and grubs then.

Can oysters carry parasites?
I love oysters but I've been so afraid of eating them.

>>14081756

>tfw allergic to the forbidden cum

But no other shellfish or fish. I don't understand why my genes specifically fucking hate oysters.

>>14084050
Intriguing but highly disturbing that someone made this.

>>14085990
>not enjoying the exquisite taste if milt
Seriously all you Deens and anchovie loving faggots like >>14084807 look into Milt it's actually cured fish ejaculate but it's delicious like anchovies but much better and it's cheap because hipster fags don't know about it and blacks/poor people think its gay but shave it on a microplane is better than any anchovies on your pizza and no mercury content to worry about
>>14086769
No if there were you'd be able to see them but no they are parasite free they can get you hella sick if they weren't kept cold during storage but nobody serves even questionable oysters because that is a quick and reliable way to bring the Health Department to your door out for your blood

>>14082126
I live on the Gulf Coast
Fried oysters with ketchup/tartar sauce are barely palatable as it is, any other way is just an emetic

>>14086860
I'll never forget the time when I was 15 and my dad came home and he had shit his pants in traffic on the way home from work from a shitty oyster he had at a business meeting

>>14086901
All seafood food poisoning is like that though it's quick and it's extreme I once had some squid ink pasta that had to have gone bad, I woke up and groggily shit a stream of putrid oily liquid black, wiped up easy and didn't realize it in my still half asleep state until I immediately painfully vomited pure darkness and thought it might be blood which would have been alot of blood to lose at once, my next thought was that if I had an ulcer or whatever wouldn't it be alot more painful? Until I remembered the squid ink pasta. Had to call out thst entire day while hunched over the toilet with a garbage pail blasting black from both ends

>>14081756
I think the most important question here is who cummed in that rock? God. God cummed in that rock.

>>14086860
>it's actually cured fish ejaculate but it's delicious
Nigga you gay as fuck

>>14087004
Does drinking cow's milk make you a baby?

>>14086983
Sauce on this angelic qt pie?

Congratulations on the most embarrassing ck thread that's ever been posted since the board began, I genuinely cannot even imagine how a human being can deteriorate to the point they become enough of a tastelet to dislike oysters

>>14081845
I live 10 minutes from the ocean and you're a nigger.

>>14081963
That shit that get all over my boxers when I have a boner for too long

>>14087078
this

oysters seem really inconsistent in terms of quality, the bad ones are terrible, the good ones are as good as calamari, squid and oysters are both mollusks
I'd rather just have calamari

my mom's cousins sources of income was harvesting oyster shells from the beach to sell to gardeners and growing cannabis

I never eaten oysters. Why does everyone say to swallow them whole? Why not chew

itt: people who have never eaten smoked oysters with garlic butter sauce

>>14087148
the middle of them isn't solid flesh

>>14087215
Is it liquid?

My dad loves oysters

>>14087539
Why doesnt he marry them then

>>14081845
nuclear heat promo 10/10

>>14086769
Oysters can easily develop stomach flu virus and pass it to you. I'd avoid eating oysters if youre not close to the ocean

>>14087148
Because inside of the oystery goodness there's a gross slimey filling that tastes funky and will give most people not used to it an intense urge to throw up.

>>14081756
>a wad of cum in a rock
Yes.
Also brie.

>>14088759
Aw man, that reminds me. I have some brie I've been aging in the fridge. Should be almost entirely liquid ammonia by now. Perfect.

>>14081845
>>t. flyover retards
>I'll enjoy fresh local coom while you rural retards seethe over this delicious coom you will never be able to truly enjoy coom. I hope your cummies fail and a black person cooms into your mouth. I live in a rich New England bitchass town that has less than a dozen non coomers in it. Average coomer is well over 6 inches. The coom you fucking plebs are eating is the fucked up weird ones that we send to you as a joke. God reading /ck/ is always a good laugh because it's so easy to spot the coomers on this board. I can't wait until you are all jacking off and we can make sure none of you wander into our neighborhood without mowing my lawn.

>>14088766
Good, put it in the bathtub, add some bleach and take a big breath

>>14087148
Because there's nothing to chew. Oysters are molluscs (similar to slugs and octopi) and have no bones.

The texture of a raw oyster is like a salty, rubbery broth. Still tastes good though (in my opinion).

I've only had one oyster and it was on a dare in a shitty casino in montana and I vomited for 3 hours afterwards

>>14081756
>>14081764
>>14081772
>>14081824
>>14081832
PLEBS FUCKING FILTERED