/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14369728
Take a big sloppa shit and smear it in the smoke holes. Wala.

wear ear plugs

>>14369728
I've drown mine.

>>14369728
rip the batteries out and accept the possibility of death it may bring at some point

>>14369728
wrap it in a condom

>>14369728
Who has a fire alarm in their kitchen?

>>14369728
Stop burning food?

Get one that vibrates and then stick it up your butt

>>14369728

I just ripped mine out of the ceiling like anyone else that's not a paranoid boomer. Stop being a poorfag that has to live on someone elses property.

>>14369728
cling wrap and a elastic band.

Take off the wall when you're cooking something very smoky.

Once you're done, put it back on the wall.

>>14369728
That's a shitty cook detector. It only goes off when someone does not know how to cook.

don't burn your fucking food
>inb4 but it's supposed to smoke!!!
either do it outsude on a grill or don't do it at all. chances are though that it's not supposed to smoke and either you or the guy who wrote the recipe is retarded

>>14369923

Everything you said is incorrect. I lack the words to adequately describe the horrific way you should end yourself.

>>14369728
Stop burning your food
Install a ventilation hood over your range

>>14369891
>>14369923
>>14370097

looks like you guys have never seared salmon skin in a tiny studio apartment with no ventilation

>>14369891
Some of these things go off when you boil water, they're a pain in the ass

>>14369728
I tore out my smoke detectors when mine started to go off because I was taking too hot a shower. If you don't want to remove them, tape a plastic bowl over it and deal w/ how tacky you have made your place look.

>>14370577
>deal w/ how tacky you have made your place look.

you say that as if i'll ever have anybody else over.

>>14369740
>>14369755
>>14369840
>>14369923
>>14370097
any of these

>>14370397
>>14370577
You gotta get the ionization particle detector ones. Those shitty scattered beam ones that go off due to steam are crap.

>>14370751
What do I do if I'm paying a jew to live in my apartment? Pay more money to get a better detector, or just remove them?

>>14370760
>paying a jew to live in my apartment
Sounds to me like they're living rent-free.

>>14369740
d-do they even come in such large sizes?

>>14371543
It'll always fit.

Shower cap.

>>14370760
Why would you pay a man to live in your apartment? Surely he ought to be paying you.

You likely live in a rental that was built cheaply or in a cheap era that did not vent away from the stove to outside facing ductwork and/or the attic. While live in a rental stop thinking you can make anything you want, no grill pan, no stir frying, no baking cookies, no broiling a flank steak, nothing! They put the detector too close, but also it means you are breathing smoke, ie, not same. Open windows now.

If the kitchen doesn't have a proper (outside venting) fume hood, you will forever have carbon monoxide created from cooking yes, right there silently trying to kill you and your air quality, right in the air, and cooking "smoke" will logically will be reaching the detector at some point.

So, buy your own home (a good one). Make sure you remodel the kitchen the way it was meant to be wired and vented. Yes, it will cost money, which is why people who aren't actually cooking more than a grilled cheese (or educated scientific types) will never get it done right, but rather just disable an alarm (or move).

>>14370760
Don't be racist.

If you think it can be fixed, call the landlord to explain the problem, or buy your own that is better. Feel free to take it with you and reinstall his shitty one when you move. If it's wired? Too bad.

>>14370104
>>14370397
see here's 2 of them.

>>14372243
>race
>Jews

Nice try. Although antisemite seems to work wonders for your people.