/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14665796
>my dad will ONLY eat sausage or bacon in the morning and will NEVER eat any other meat even if it's in a hash or if it's a nice/interesting experience (shrimp&grits, prime rib omelette, etc.)

>>14665808
-because there's "just certain meats you eat for breakfast, and beef/seafood/chicken isn't one of them"

My mom won't eat raw onions or feta cheese, and refuses to order salads with them "on the side" so we can share.

>>14665808
>>14665813
poor boomers man they are so stubborn and closed minded. missing out on so much, a prime rib omelette sounds incredible.

my mom doesnt understand there are different grades of meat, she buys the shittiest quality tubed ground beef for her bolognese. very annoying

Boyfriend
>won't eat eggs that aren't scrambled
>hesitant to try anything new- took 3 attempts to make him try frog legs and he doesn't even remember if he liked it or not
>drinks beer to look "cool" not actually what he likes (he confided in me he orders Guinness with his friends because it's his "thing", with me he never drinks it and prefers light beer)
>make delicious meal or breakfast, drowns it in ketchup salt/pepper or some other sauce
>always tries to take my food before I'm finished and eyes me like a hungry dog, sometimes just assumes he can have my food because I relent pretty often
>doesn't understand what "dicing/slicing/etc" different veg means, WILL ALWAYS give me veg cut into big weird chunks if he tries to help me cook
>brags about how much he can eat like he's 10
>acts like it's suuuuper impressive for him to make basic things like scrambled eggs at 29
>will order the tender basket at a steakhouse
>"has never tried" really common foods like lasagna and crab legs and acts like they are strange
>will save his leftovers, insists he wants them, but let them rot in the fridge
>hoards a piece of chocolate or a dessert until it literally goes bad
I grew up poor and he grew up rich so wasting food really is the one that annoys me the most and the only thing we've fought about

>>14665796
Dad
>Vegan
>Complains that when I cook meat the house smells bad
>Literally always farts and takes an eternity to get out of the toilet because he eats a shitton of legumes
>salt bad
Mom
>adds a ton of nutmeg and ginger to everything because meme boomer blogs/magazines say so
>Hates bacon
>doesn't believe in ''making stock'', so every soup tastes like dishwater

>dad will slather hot wings with extra hot sauce and proclaim this is how a real man eats spicy food and loudly go "Mmmm"

I honestly don't know if he's trying to goad me into some weird competition. He's free to enjoy his food how he likes but why does he do this? Soaking your chicken wing in Frank's Red Hot Sauce isn't impressive.

>sister always takes more than what she can eat. Literal definition of "eyes bigger than her stomach" and then she complains about her IBS afterwards.

I can't even begin with this one.

>>14665907
Franks isn't even the hottest, come on Nancy.

Being super autistic about when it's time to eat. Breakfast is at 7. Lunch is at noon. Dinner is at 6. Period, absolutely nothing else is acceptable. There are times where we're planning on going out to lunch at a place that is known to have a bad crowd and I would point out that if we go at 11 we won't have to stand in line for twenty minutes but NO THAT'S NOT RIGHT LUNCH IS AT 12 THAT'S HOW IT HAS TO BE.

>>14665907
You should buy him one of those Pain Is Good wing sauces and ask him to use it. See how he reacts.

>>14665845
fucking faggot

>>14665845
eesh that D and $ must be breddy good for you to tolerate that. I could never live with a picky/childish eater. you gotta retrain those bad habits before he ends up like the other boomer parents ITT

>>14665796
>sister won't come down on time for dinner every time it is served, only shows up half an hour after everyone is done eating
Goddamnit asshole if dinner is ready at 7pm, you get the fuck down at 7pm. The worst part is that she spends most of the day downstairs, only to squirrel away in her room around 5pm for a fucking nap, always at the exact moment I start cooking.
GET THE FUCK DOWN ASSHOLE SO I CAN CLEAR THE DAMN TABLE REEEEEE

>>14665932
tell her to get the fuck off of TikTok. good brotherly food > shaking tits and ass for the CCP

>>14665932
>Goddamnit asshole
Sisters are called hoes or bitches, don't sugarcoat it faggot
>The worst part is that she spends most of the day downstairs, only to squirrel away in her room around 5pm for a fucking nap
Hot. Can I marry her?

>>14665930
yeah he is hung af

>>14665952
when I said nap, I didn't mean vibrator-time kind of nap. I meant an actual nap. I can abuse the light switch, play obnoxious music in her room at max volume, and physically drag her off the bed. She just fucking ignores me and climbs back under the covers

>>14665969
post pics faggot
>>14665845
you too post pics youj fucking faggot

>>14665969
>I meant an actual nap
That is what I meant, she sounds cuddly :)
And your last to post numbers say possibility of naughty is on the table

>>14665960
>tfw an Anon pretends to be you but says what you'd say anyways

>>14665824
A lot of people on this board and 4chan(nel) in general are also really stubborn fucks.

>>14665845
>>14665960
>dealing with incredibly irritating traits for a few more inches of flesh
the gays are cursed

>>14665824
it's funny because he's actually very open minded. very left leaning, he likes art a lot. but food is just one of those things he won't open his mind to.

>>14665927
Which one do you recommend that's not too sweet?

>>14665796
My mother in law orders her steaks medium well and her burgers medium rare

gf
>vegetarian
>won't eat runny eggs
>won't eat mushrooms
>doesn't like onions
>doesn't like milk
>never finishes her meals
>drinks too much beer
>constantly buys food then doesn't eat it until it goes bad and throws it out
>oversalts everything
>vegetarian

>>14666038
big oof hombre

how the pussy tho

Dad
>only knows how to “cook” one thing, a pork roast in a crock pot with sauerkraut
>just throws some salt and pepper in there and boils the shit out of it until it’s a flavorless gray blob
Mom
>actually decent cook, just can’t time anything to save her life
>pulls out meat 20 minutes before sides are ready, half the dinner is cold half is hot
>has never fully cooked scrambled eggs, it’s always a runny mess
>always wants to eat dinner at 3 in the afternoon

>>14666038
Fucking simp. Putting up with a woman like that.
Why?

>>14666042
It does the job

>>14665818
refusing to order them on the side sucks, kind of a selfish and braindead thing to do
>>14665845
holy SHIT
>>14665894
that making stock thing bothers me the most, i hate when people don't put effort into their food
>>14665907
your dad sounds hilarious
>>14666038
kill her
>>14666045
3 in the afternoon, what is she, 90?

>>14666038
>>vegetarian
>>drinks to much beer
If you love her, save money on a liver transplant. Bet she feels dizzy 50% of the time.

>>14666038
what the fuck does she even eat
nothing but granola bars?

>>14666068
Cakes & pies from the grocery

>>14666078
HAHAHAHA

The most annoying thing about my siblings is that they never eat dinner, even when they specifically ask for that type of dinner be made (unless it's take out). I always felt bad for my mom who'd cook only for five people only for only two (me and my mom) to actually eat. Since none of my siblings ate anything I ended up eating their portions and I ended up being the tallest in my family. I ended up learning how to cook from my mom and by the time I was 18 we ended up cooking together a lot while my siblings were happy to live off of cereal and pot noodle.
I miss her

>>14666056
because there's more to relationships that liking or disliking a few food items
>>14666061
nah not that bad but still more than I'd like
>>14666068
everything else

>>14665907
>>dad will slather hot wings with extra hot sauce and proclaim this is how a real man eats spicy food and loudly go "Mmmm"
Based dad

>>14666086
>because there's more to relationships
According to normans relationships are only about how sexually compatible people are

>>14666017

Just watch him try to be smug while using this.

>>14665932
>GET THE FUCK DOWN ASSHOLE SO I CAN CLEAR THE DAMN TABLE REEEEEE

Just clear it anyway. You'll only have to do it a few times before she straightens out.

>>14666091
true, any online dating advice always boils down to
>if the sex is trash, dump they ass

>>14665894
Fuck you nutmeg does belong in everything.

>>14666111
holy based double trips townsends poster

>>14666078
>beer
>cakes and pies
how huge are her tiddies anon

>>14666111
I agree, based trip satan, but she literally shoves entire cups of ginger and doubles on nutmeg, thus overpowering the base flavor of meat and veggies to an excess.

>>14666111
DOUBLE TRIPS OF TRUTH, NUTMEG IS THE BEST SPICE, IT APPLIES TO EVERYTHING

ngl even thought I much prefer rare or medium-rare steaks, I get very nostalgic for the well-done steaks with ketchup that my mum used to serve me as a toddler. I want to try it again.

>>14665907
>>dad will slather hot wings with extra hot sauce and proclaim this is how a real man eats spicy food and loudly go "Mmmm"

I wish my dad did this, it sounds awesome

My mom only uses the white part of a green onion, and will use extra virgin olive oil as a cooking oil. I'm always just glad to see her, though, so it doesn't really annoy me.

>>14666038
Make sure she gives up her vegetarianism before you start living with her. Also, try making her poached eggs. She'll like them.

>>14666078
Does she know about confectioner's glaze, though?

>>14665845
>>always tries to take my food before I'm finished and eyes me like a hungry dog, sometimes just assumes he can have my food because I relent pretty often
You tell him it's ok "pretty often" and then after giving those signals still harbor thoughts like this is bad and he should JUST REALIZE what he does is wrong when told 50% of cases it is ok?

Stop playing games, he's not going to retaliate against you just because you stood up for your own damn food unless you're also doing this against him and his food.

>>14666158
Or he could just wait until the food is offered to him like a normal human being instead of hovering over someone enjoying their meal and hounding them for it when they are still eating it. It is different if the plate is pushed to the side or if the person is picking at it but it's rude as fuck to start trying to take pieces of someone's dinner/the rest of the dinner when they are barely halfway through.

>>14666157
>before you start living with her
4 years too late, I'm afraid

>Make baked chicken breasts
>Take em out after a set amount of time because I've done this hundreds of times by now
>"Anon is it undercooked?"
>"No but lets check even though I was about to put foil over so it can stabilize the temp inside"
>Cut thickest piece in half with them hanging over me
>It's perfectly cooked to the very core but still nice and moist
>"Anon put it back in 5min"
>"No, why, look, it's well done!"
>"Anon just 5min ok...just do it"
It doesn't ruin it but I get so bumblasted by showing clear evidence of it being OK and still having to overcook it a little more.

>>14666171
>dates for 4+ years
>not engaged
Shit or get off the pot.

>>14666002
>dealing with narcissistic children for a couple bags of salty milk and coins
the hets are cursed

>>14665907
>sister always takes more than what she can eat. Literal definition of "eyes bigger than her stomach" and then she complains about her IBS afterwards.
uggghhhh my gf does this. doesnt bother me if shes using pasta noodles and cheap sauce but when she does it with my good sauces and expensive produce it pisses me off so i call her out in a sterile tone “youre hungry and youre not goingn to want to eat all that” and im sure that really pisses her off

>>14666172
stand up for yourself dude, just say something along the lines of "I'M making dinner, and you're not"

>gf doesnt measure milk and butter for Kraft mac and cheese
>sometimes messes it up

also gf insists on using beyone meat as an ingrediant for every meal. last night she made a huge mess reforming the beyond meat patty into beyond meatballs so she could have spaghetti and meatballs :cringe:
just eat some fucking meat, girl
fuck, most of the pasta i make doesnt even have meat in it ...and that beyond meat shit is $16/lb dafuq???

tfw my mom immediately touches everything in the house you have to use your hands for after right cutting onions

>>14666204
Tell her to make pancakes and post pics. Might as well get a cuckle out of it.

Dad
>puts basil and red chili pepper on every meal
>eats pasta in a flat plate
Mom
>adds too much salt
>buys too much meat even though she doesn’t eat it
>can’t cook custard and refuses to admit it

>>14666223
Lol had some crepe waffles the other day. She will make something once following the measurements then go wild the next time.

>>14666167
Then stop saying it's ok, you've already established an accepted way of behavior and have to break it. Thinking like a time machine isn't fair nor logical.

>>14666246
You are infantilizing a grown man that should know better. If I wanted to teach someone proper table matters I'd take some cum up my snatch and shit out a child

>>14666204
>>gf doesnt measure milk and butter for Kraft mac and cheese
>>sometimes messes it up

>i FEEL like it should have nore of this ingrediant
i hate when my gf cooks for me

>>14666200
Considering I don't live at home it's infrequent and not food destroying enough have two people pouting through dinner or just taking their pieces and microwaving the shit out of them behind my back to make a stand for it.

>>14666204
>>gf doesnt measure milk and butter for Kraft mac and cheese
>>sometimes messes it up

>i FEEL like it should have more of this ingrediant

i hate when my gf cooks for me. fuck

>>14666254
>should
>"Yes you can have a bite"
>"Yes you can have a bite"
>"No you can't have a bite"
>"Yes you can have a bite"
>"He should know better by now! And before!" she yells out into a image posting board to make the cosmos change her own machinations of fate through time and space

>>14666278
The way you keep defending it makes me feel like you do this shit, too. Just so you know, if they don't offer you a bite and they aren't about to throw it out they probably do not want to share. I hope this helps

>>14665796
>What are your family members' food habits that piss you off?
>Dad
>>only eats his steak well done

Why are you complaining you ungrateful fuck? Do you share a mouth or something?

>>14666301
and i bet you get mad at him for shit he is completely oblivious too and then say ‘everything is fine’

>>14665796
>brother is 28
>only orders tendies, plain quesadillas, and grilled cheese
>picks apart all the food our parents make
>is somehow fat despite us being poor and never having food
>strictly drinks only water and sometimes milk
>would make peanut butter and jelly on tortillas in college instead of buying bread
>laps up any sauce left on plate with his fingers until it's clean
>puts his plates on his keyboard when eating
dad:
>can't eat vegetables, allergic to anything green, literally
>can't eat most desserts, diabetes
>can't even eat most food, alcoholism has killed his gut bacteria, has major gout and rotten teeth
>boomer-tier recipes, lost his passion for cooking long ago
>only makes one-pot simple recipes that mom can follow
me:
>had a nightmare as a kid and have had a permanent dislike of celery ever since
>eat bleu cheese dressing on everything instead of ranch/ketchup
>can't drink any fizzy or sugary drinks, any soda gives me the rumblies and makes me feel sick
>burn my sandwiches in the toaster oven until black on both sides, I don't mind char

Go ahead and call us all autists, we pretty much are. This house is poison to the brain

>>14666319
You will learn once you have been with someone for 7 years some shit just isn't worth the fight

>>14666320
>>had a nightmare as a kid and have had a permanent dislike of celery ever since
HAHA WHAT

>>14666320

>Celery nightmare

Go on...

>>14666301
No he's right. Actually tell him you have a problem with it you fucking idiot.

>Woman enters the thread
>Everybody starts collectively seething

>>14666301
The problem is making what wasn't ok seem acceptable by giving in over and over and not making a stand. No one is arguing for begging to eat someone else food is right. He isn't a machine resetting every day to standard protocol and you're not even helping him realize it's not ok but I bet he doesn't do it to anyone else either because that line has not been wiggled on by them.

>>14666254
you are letting your partner walk all over you because muh dig bick. when it comes to food, such a simple pleasure in life, you must respect one another and work collaboratively towards making as many meals memorable and not-irritating as possible. this person might be in your life for 40+ years. 29 year olds amazingly still have so much to learn, so you sticking up for yourself isn't 'infantilizing'

>>14666326
>>14666327
I don't even know. It sounds weird, but it caused some fucked up PTSD reaction in my brain every time I think about it. I was maybe 7.
I think it had something to do with milk dud and celery flavored soda. When i drank it in the dream, it was so vile, I could never look at or taste celery the same way ever again. I still can't get over it.
In the same dream, I was eating chili, and it had bits and pieces of rusty nuts, bolts, sawblades, wires in it... ever since, I get triggered when I see metal of any sort inside of food. It makes me thinking of eating metallic chili in that dream.

>>14666320
>only orders tendies, plain quesadillas, and grilled cheese
I literally ended a friendship of 8+ years because this man refused to grow up past his "tendies and fries ONLY" mentality. he was also a manipulative narcissist, but god his food habits killed me inside

>>14666331
>woman

Why are women retarded?

>>14666157
>and will use extra virgin olive oil as a cooking oil

Fucking this, my step mother uses olive oil for fucking everything and always burns the shit out of it pan frying stuff. As soon as I walk in the door that acrid stank of burn olive oil punches you in the face and you know the chicken is going to taste like ass, but they never seem to notice.

Luckily they do good with sides and salads.

>>14666348
you and your family sound fucked, i wish y'all luck. are you from a flyover state?

>>14666362
This isn't about women in general even if it's incredibly tempting to say it is.

>>14666348

So you let a nightmare keep you from potentially making delicious delicious broths? Not based bro

mom
>oversteeps tea
>"butterflies" any meat to ensure it is fully overcooked, basically scrambles her fish to the same effect
>won't eat vegetable skins
dad
>only consumes vegetables on pizza or as a boiled mush
>exclusively uses the highest setting on the largest burner when cooking with the stovetop
>95% of recipes he makes are slow cooker casseroles
>cooks at least twice as much as he plans to eat of any meal
>rinses plates for ten minutes (water on full blast) then puts them in the dishwasher

>>14666331
The only way you can tell its a hole is that it argues like one. The base assumption is that its a faggot.

>>14666348
Try celery then, ptst will be gone.
If you feel like pussying out eat it with a well charged bloody mary.

>>14666400
>rinses plates for ten minutes (water on full blast) then puts them in the dishwasher
I'm literally shaking

>>14666402
Ok sweetie.

>my wifes boyfriend won't let me in the kitchen or help with cooking

>>14666371
michigan. It's real bad.
>>14666381
Only raw, or celery chunks in soup and shit. I move them to the side. Awful texture, especially in canned soups.

>>14666068
>tfw no retardedly picky gf to play architect on

>>14666402
awww, i just calleed my gf 'hole' this morning

>>14666423
>michigan
you poor thing

I'm eating bread with every meal.
I'm also a member of the Bread Church.

>>14666111
Double trips, nutmeg is going in every food for the rest of my life.

>>14666177
AMEN.
>>14666204
>>14666320
>>14666400

YIKES

>>14665845
You need to beat him into submission

>>14666111
t. John Townsend

>>14666178
Men don't have tits though, gays lose this round

>>14666320
Buy a bunch of celery and put it all over his room in hidden places

>>14666809
I tried. He just likes it

>>14665796
Mother
>Paranoid Doctor who feels you have to overcooked everything to avoid salmonella
Brother
>Slathers everything in ketchup.
> Refuses to try various foods for dumb reasons.
>Won't eat foods associated with black stereotypes because he hates being black.
>Brags about hating Coffee, Fried Chicken, Fish, watermelon, and other things.
>Puts way too much salt on everything including extra buttered popcorn.
Brothers Girlfriend
>Fatass who refuses to eat meat because it's "not healthy"
>Essentially only eats Pasta.

>>14666887
Since when is coffee a black thing? If anything it's a white thing

>>14665932
Maybe ask her if she's ok u weirdo

>>14665796
E Bloc people have weird habits, have had quite a few friends (bulgarian, hungarian, slovak) feel so strongly that every meal must have a soup that they'd whine and complain if the place we were eating at for lunch didn't have a soup or had one they didn't like.

>>14666907
oh no that's just a random thing he says. The black things were Watermelon and Chicken lol

>>14666887
Kek based black anon with a sitcom-tier family

Mom
>rosemary
>rosemary everywhere
>rosemary where it doesn't belong
>rosemary for no reason

>buys ingredients, would make one huge item like chicken, pasta, turkey, etc; then left it in a gigantic container in the fridge
>if me or my brother wanted something to eat we would have to microwave a plate of whatever she made this week and eat that
>whenever we would run out of whatever she made, she would just make another huge dish and we would be forced to sustain ourselves on that until it ran out
>this cycle repeated every 5-7 days
>the food she made was usually pretty sub-par even when it was fresh, and only got worse as it stayed in the fridge
>never bought any microwaveable or easily made food, unless we specifically ask for it, even then she didn't get much, so it was either what she made or leftover ingredients

Did anyone else's mother do this? My mom is from Mexico so maybe this is just what they do over there.

When she cooks Mexican, it's usually pretty hit-or-miss: either not-so-great or absolutely amazing.

I love you with all my heart Mom. You're a great cook.

>>14666887
>brother
fucking baased

>>14665922
that's PEAK boomer, my fucking idiot dad is that way, gets all bent out of shape if we're not at the table at 630 with his fucking mood music playing. fucking boomer knobs.

>>14665796
You sound like an obnoxious faggot
probably tried to goad your brother into eating sashimi with ARE YOU A PUSSY? PUSSY? YOU SCARED? PUSSY? and he decided he didn't like it just purely because it reminds him of your punchable mouth

>>14666320
That wasn't a dream. That was veggie tales

>>14665796
Dad is a lot smarter than you are your brother is a filthy animal

>>14666887
>>14666920
>>14666927

>>14666935
>mood music
this would drive me insane

>>14666400
>rinses plates for ten minutes (water on full blast) then puts them in the dishwasher
THIS, both my parents wash the shit out of the dish before putting it in. Might as well not do the dishwasher at all. I think its boomer logic or something

>>14665845
>confided in me he orders Guinness with his friends because it's his "thing"
Force it down his throat. It’ll remove the pussy from him.

>>14665796
Dad
>can’t cook
Mom
>can’t cook
Step dad
>can’t cook
Brothers
>can’t cook

FML SENPAI

>>14665845
You must be fucking gay and he must be a bottom because that man acts like a woman. Yes, women act like children.

>>14667207
>Step dad
your mom cucked your dad and now you have to pay the price

>>14666111
Townsends just obliterated everyone on this board

>>14665796
>>lays on the salt & pepper before tasting anything
>>believes bread MUST be served with every meal (born in the USSR)
>>refuses to eat anything that isn't Eastern bloc food
Absolutely based. Tell him to eat his steak right though

>>14666182
I’ve done the same thing to my gf when she takes huge bowls of food and then only eats half. Usually there’s wasted food anyways because I cook too much and it doesn’t stay good in the fridge forever, but something about her taking a huge ass fucking bowl and then leaving half of it really pisses me the fuck off. Maybe it’s just an instinctual thing, because I never grew up with parents who acted that way.

>>14666038
She’s fat. We all know she’s fat. Just dump her anon.

>>14665796
My old man's a well done steak + chup guy, though he made surprisingly above average pasta dishes when we were young.

My Ma's terrified of sushi, she also finds steamed carrots to be a touch spicy for her, anything seasoned is a fight with her delicate tastes, which makes taking her to new places when we get together for lunch or dinner occasionally difficult.

My Brother hates anything that isn't cardboard plain, even cheese on a burger or sauce on ribs...

but he eats mac and cheese with fucking everything.

>>14666324
>>14666301
>>14666278
>>14666167
>>14666254
>female being stupid
Surprise surprise

What the other anon was trying to say is that over the course of your 7 year relationship you have normalized the idea of him taking your food. You have. You. You DID take part in this, however small the role. Unless you take responsibility for your part (which is ALLOWING him to do this to you for 7 years), you are never going to stop his retarded behaviors. If you’re willing to put up with it, then fine, but don’t pretend you didn’t get into a relationship with someone that’s effectively an 8-year old simply because of his penis.

>>14666400
>cooks at least twice as much as he plans to eat of any meal
This ones gonna be me one day, and why the fuck are you complaining? Unless it’s just absolutely awful there’s literally nothing wrong with this.

>>14666887
>black
>no father
Like clockwork

>>14667049
Boomer logic consists on the overconsumption and waste of anything and everything to support the US economy because of propaganda
So yes it’s boomer logic

>>14667282
I have paid the price in so many ways your joke wasn’t even funny
And I like jokes

>>14667341
Sounds like your mom and brother have that super taster gene

>>14665845
How does he have leftovers if he's always eating your food? You need to make sure your fairytales have an internal consistency.

>>14666324
If you can't mention you would prefer to be treated a certain way without a fight, I don't know what to tell you.

>>14666400
>>exclusively uses the highest setting on the largest burner when cooking with the stovetop
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>14666038
>won't eat runny eggs
>won't eat mushrooms
these are based but everything else is pretty bad.

>>14666423
>Michigan
such a shame since you are so close to based Ohio

>>14667285
In the Old Country™, it was considered unsafe to eat "undercooked" beef, and there was a lot of fearmongering around "bloody" beef and the notion that even a little bit of pink could get one sick. My dad is absolutely politically based, but is still childish in many ways even though he's getting ready to retire.

>>14667763
I was born there, but don't kid yourself, this entire region is flyovers larping as coasties with a mix of niggers

mother
>drowns everything she cooks in oil, food would literally be swimming in it
>uses way too much salt
>cooks multiple dishes every single day
>always everything in huge amounts, forced to throw most of it away
>despite being obese always worried about not having enough to eat and not getting enough nutrition
dad
>refuses to cook
>has never made a sandwich in his life
>won't even add hot water to ramen by himself

>>14667899
I live in a very very small town and having been over a quite a bit of the state and most of the east coast I like Ohio fairly well, we are like Indiana but not flat, I am in south east Ohio and here is less blacks and more Amish, parts of Ohio are awful but I like my little corner.

My mom went vegan, it's not even because she loves animals, it's because "muh cholesterol is high". Now she looks like a skeleton

>>14667912
i can imagine what they look like and what the area you live in is like

>>14667940
i would like to hear your theories anon

>>14667947
greasy brown hair and dumb blue eyes, very plain faces, overweight and misshapen bodies, like a ball of play-doh
they live in the middle of the country (flyover) in a town of less than 10,000 people
all their clothes are 10 years old and faded

>>14666013

If you think being left leaning and liking art equates to being open minded in current year then I'm impressed you made it this far through life without ever going on social media.

>>14668030
those traits for a boomer are open-minded traits. it's all about context

>>14667963
Exactly what I imagined as well
I want to know if it’s correct
Also
>stubble from not having shaven in several days
>can’t tell if hair is curly or straight
>sagging cheeks obscuring jawline
>smells like cigarettes

>>14666961
U ok champ?

>Mom was shit at cooking
>Dad was shit at cooking

>>14666172
My mother is like that and it's irritating. She loves her meat practically burnt (specifically asks me to leave her chicken on the grill until it's dry and black in some areas)

My siblings scratch the shit out our nonstick plans with forks. Keep in mind they're older than me by like 10 years. (It's acceptable in our culture to live with your parents for a while). I bought an all clad and lock it in a safe.

>>14668676
>only child
Iktf anon
Iktf...

>>14665907
Your dad's a chad.

Dad
>Only eats well done steak
>Grills the shit out of everything on the grill until its barely burnt
>Always changes the temp/time on frozen foods so they're either undercooked or burnt as fuck
>Won't eat raw fish/sushi

Mom
>Amazing cook, she just thinks she has a free pass to take anyones food off their plate and eat it.

Brother
>Won't eat any fruits of vegetables, with the exception of broccoli if its drowned in ranch.
>Eats gross amounts of junk food

>>14668649
yeah,
>>14667947
where you at?

ya'll are a sensitive bunch. why not just let people express their own individuality through the medium of food. you should not complain and if you think your ways are superior you should be humble about it. you can catch more flys with honey than vinegar.

>>14665796
Everything I type I sound like I still live with my parents. You wont change your parents eating habits. Why even complain about it.

>younger me
>realize one day I have never had steak
>ask parents why we never eat beef
>"oh it's just no good, it's a very tough meat"
>oh ok
>years later when starting to cook my own meals I realize that parents always overcook all meats to shit

a whole new world opened up for me then. a world where I actually started to enjoy eating meat.

My dad has a bad habit of chewing ice, sometimes I can hear him while I'm locked in my bedroom. My dad also snacks on food to the point that he leaves less than a serving size portion to enjoy, so he won't have to go through the trouble of cleaning up. He's so much of a fat fuck that he has to wake up in the middle of the night to snack on food.

>>14668928
why do you really hate your dad

>>14668766
thats bullshit, if you make a fly trap apple cider vinegar works better than honey, honey will catch more ants though.

>both parents are unhealthy and eat shit food
>i grew up as a fat fuck because of them
My animosity for them is far greater than they will ever know.

>>14668758
>she just thinks she has a free pass to take anyones food off their plate and eat it.
To be fair she literally created you

>>14668928
Chewing ice might be a sign of iron deficiency anon. Get your daddy checked
.

>>14665907
Sounds like you're a pussy boy

>>14668936
He's just so beta, and I can't respect that. He lets everyone walk over him, and has no authority over my mother. He also works at Walmart and is very proud of it, I find it very cringe if you asked me , I also made more than him with first job than he has with 28 years at Walmart
>>14669034
I doubt that, we eat beef everyday. I think he does it due to a nervous tick

>>14668831
Holy fuck yes.

My father only ate his meat not only well done ,but made sure every steak we had was thin enough to always be cooked to fuck.

And i'm not talking well done. If you cook a veal steak at 65 degrees Celsius, it is well done but you still got some juices.

I'm talking dry as fuck doneness, way past well done.

I did not understand what "juicy meat" meant until i was 23, and my gf invited me to a steakhouse and ordered a medium steak for me.

Pic related : my parents went on a holiday and i made a beef chateaubriand roast as a welcome back lunch. My father was like "if i see any red spots in that meat, i'm throwing it away.". A hundred bucks worth of meat, man.

>>14669064
Cont.

I used a thermometer to calculate the doneness, so as not to get past 64 degrees. So, while well done, it was juicier than any meat they have ever seen. They thought i injected some gravy inside the fucking meat.

I swear to god this is some sandnigger levels of ignorance. My brother even got out some ketchup. I had a great deli pasta salad (from not another cooking show) and 3 purees (garlic mashed taters, carrot taters, and green peas)

>>14669056

but hes still like your dad right and he cares about you...

i was just wondering

>>14668758
>Amazing cook, she just thinks she has a free pass to take anyones food off their plate and eat it

So what ? Whenever we go to restaurants, my parents usually try out my food as i usually try some risky stuff on the menu.

And if your mama cooks, she's got every right to your plate. And if she doesn't, she still got the rights since she wiped your shit when you were a baby.

>>14667918
bruh that corner of ohio has literal southern accents

>>14669056
If you hate your dad because you think he is "weak", you honestly are a bad person, dude. You are an utter piece of shit. This is coming from a completely anonymous person, judging solely from what you are saying. I just hope we are not getting the whole picture and this is to be nuanced.

>>14669099
only some of it.

>>14669103
why is this thread filled with such virtue signalling faggots? This is a family rant and vent thread, not a platform for you to act holier-than-thou

>>14669099
>o noooo they talk different there!!
Lmao grow up faggot

my cousin eats with her mouth open and if you stop she gets mad and asks why you're trying to control her also she hates pie and loves fast food and won't eat anything new or interesting only shitty american food

>>14669113
Family rant about food you fucking nigger.

Not family rant about how the fucker that conceived you and made you succeed in everything you succeeded in should be considered "weak".
If you can't realize how much of a piece if shit you are to the point that you call criticism "virtue signaling", you are a nigger and deserve to be shot on sight.

>>14669129
she also goes crazy if you talk about in n out, and if you say its really not even anything more then just a fast food burger she goes full retard and gets mad

>>14669162
her whole side of the family wont eat anything spicy not even just jalapenos because "hehe its to spicy xddd" and it really pisses me off cus i cook a lot of indian food and they never eat it because "its spicy anon you know we dont like spicy xddd" they literally cut off 50% of all dishes because "its too spicy xddd"

>>14667963
>greasy brown hair and dumb blue eyes, very plain faces, overweight and misshapen bodies
we are east asian and only my mother is fat.
>they live in the middle of the country (flyover) in a town of less than 10,000 people
we live in nyc
>all their clothes are 10 years old and faded
no
>>14668649
>stubble from not having shaven in several days
no
>can’t tell if hair is curly or straight
no
>sagging cheeks obscuring jawline
only my mother because she is FAT
>smells like cigarettes
no neither of them smoke

i know exactly the kind of people you're picturing though

>>14669169
grandpa is a fucking bro, I think its in retaliation and will add extra hot sauce and shit to whatever he's eating and then stare my aunt right in the eyes while he eats it

>>14669144
>t. virtue signaling cuckster

>>14669171
THEYRE EAST ASIAN??? FUCK! that makes sense though and i'm glad you know the archetype i'm talking about. i was anon 963

Dad
>demands to eat steak or sausages with potato and veg 3 times a week otherwise he gets pissy
>hates any level of spice
>dislikes most veggies that his mother would ruin while cooking, and is unwilling to try new ones
>cant cook for shit

mum
>complains about having too much meat for dinner, makes her ill
>insists on covering every meal in any veggie, no matter what it tastes like
>enjoys onion and garlic, but think its gives her headaches because the hari krishnas believe its bad for the soul
>hates salt and doesnt season food much
>is in love with her dehydrator and uses it to turn perfectly good fresh ingredients into powders and flakes that i can barely use and she barely does either

younger brother, 19
>hates meat with bones
>hates veggies, especially green ones
>never cleans after cooking
>when he is required to clean he doesnt put anything away in the right place
>is always "CBF"(his words) to make a meal with any prep, just wants to put something in the microwave or the frypan. this means he usually just eats pre-portioned things like eggs, sausages, bacon, cheese toasties. anything that doesnt require getting a knife out
>because he eats so few things, he eats massive portions of them, using up half a carton of eggs and 3/4 a pack of sausages for 1 single meal

>>14669207
>CBF
what?

>>14665818
Sharing food with your mom sounds kinda pervy bro

>>14669144
t. weak father who doesn't want to be called out for being a bitch

>>14669207
why do so many anons here have a retard brother that only eats bread/meat/cheese? do your brothers not respect you enough to try your cooking?

>>14669207
6 eggs is not that much desu

>>14669217
"cant be fucked"
he is lazy

>>14669226
oh he eats my cooking, but wont cook himself

>>14669231
thats just the first course

>>14665796
my family cant grill for shit, so everything is served well done on purpose.

>>14666111
2x trips BASED BASED BASED

>>14669226
When you're the oldest, your parents usually are younger and more motivated to teach you proper manners. Also they might be poorer if they just started their career thus more into eating whatever veggies have a discount at the supermarket.

By the time younger bro comes they are financially more stable and can't be arsed to correct him and just lets him eat whatever he wants.

At least thats how it went for me. I practically learned to eat whatever shit we had on the table. If my bro doesnt have the food he wants (which is typically a potato variant + red meat) he will skip lunch.

>>14665907
Your Dad is asking you why you haven't fucked anyone yet.

>>14666038
jesus christ she must have the most disgusting shits ever

>>14666045
>Fully cooked Scrambled Eggs
They are supposed to be runny, cum guzzler

>>14666083
Sorry for your loss anon

>>14666103
This is true. Your sister is a hole, and all holes need a firm hand.

My mom has some weird ones
>puts mayo on hot dog buns
>puts a slice of American cheese inside the bun and microwaves it before putting the weiner in
>puts ketchup on pot roast
>dips popcorn in ketchup
>makes cheese toast as a side dish to popcorn and dips the toast in ketchup too
>orders all of her meat extra well done and eats it with ketchup

>>14669327
most of those seem weird as fuck but not necessarily disgusting

>>14669281
Imagine the smell...

>>14666238
>puts basil and red chili pepper on every meal
Sounds like he likes to taste things. What's the matter, basil too spicy for you?

>>14668758
listen here son. Your momma pushed you out of her body. You can spare a fry or two okay.

jesus christ this thread.
Based mexican here only complaint is that parents won't buy wheat flour tortillas, only the corn ones. At family parties uncle lets me take out the arrachera stips medium and nobody minds. Mom makes great food and drinks. Siblings always eat up my boxes of mantecas and conchas in one day though so I stash them under my couch

>>14669397
Basura detected...

sister
>wants to cook for others but overcomplicates simple requests without asking her guests

>e.g.
>chocolate cake becomes a fourteen layer chocolate cake but also with raspberry and cream or some shit and wasn't taken out of the fridge on time so is rock hard
>simple mac n cheese becomes lobster mac n cheese with three different cheeses that were too outlandish to be put into a mornay sauce in the first place

she's an awful cook too with poor time management and cannot take criticism but always dishes it out when others bring food to her parties. her husband often orders takeout after she's gone to bed. kinda sad really. also..

>watch her lick knife while cutting cake for others
>say to her "why are you licking the knife? that's gross!!"
>shrugs and says "habit"

My mom has a bunch of weird quirks
>only eats washed meat, throws it out if you didn't wash it for her
>extremely sensitive to salt, uses the amount of salt a person uses to adjust their meal for the entire dish
>believes food has to be cooked as fast as possible
>puts the lid on when cooking meat so it steams and cooks faster
>paranoid about food poisoning so she overcooks everything
>very hesitant to try anything that's not Italian
Most of my meals as a kid were pasta with the occasional meal where we had meat (since she doesn't like meat) and vegetables that I would never eat because they were shit.

>>14665796
This is more of me being concerned. My bf eats a fuck ton of food then purges it all. He's gotten tired from it often and sometimes after waking up he kisses me and my tonsils end up hurting. I've already gotten tonsillitis twice. We'll be moving in together in a couple of months and I'm worried how fucked I'll be food wise since I'll probably have to keep the pantry bare bones so I don't waste money on food that'll get thrown up a hour after purchase.

>>14666182
My MIL frequently eats too much and then complains about feeling sick and wanting to throw up.

>>14669738
send that idiot to a therapist

>>14669813
He hates shrinks mostly because his parents used shrinks to get custody of him when he was a kid. Also he has stomach issues because a dermatologist gave him some meds for a year.

>>14666238
>>eats pasta in a flat plate
What's wrong with that? It's not soup

>>14665796
My mom is not that bad except for the fact that whenever she makes a salad, she absolutely rapes it with heaps of dressing, particularly ranch or mayonnaise based dressings. It's so disgusting. I like my salad with maybe a light drizzle of vinaigrette and not much more. She takes it to an entirely different level and still somehow thinks it's healthy.

>>14669220
I'd share food with your mom, I'll even eat out

Everyone comes to my place for Christmas and they always insist I buy all kinds of snacks like cheese & crackers, every variety of nut under the sun, enough crisps to give you sodium toxicity, all the weird alcohols that you only have for Christmas like Port and Baileys, etc, etc. None of that shit gets eaten and I either have to insist they take it with them or it just ends up expiring and getting thrown away.

Girlfriend
>Won't eat onions or mushrooms
>Won't eat eggs unless scrambled into dry crumbly garbage
>Refuses to eat pizza without ranch
>Every meal MUST have a carb of some sort
>Cannot drink diet soda to save her life. Not supposed to drink regular soda because diabetic and refuses to make the switch
>Not food or cooking but she cannot take pills without peanut butter like a fucking dog or else she breaks down in hysterical crying because the pill "tastes nasty"

Mom
>Only cooks crockpot tier food
>Anything else is overcooked/undercooked
>Never salts the food
>Pre-packaged ingredients above all else fuck fresh ingredients

Dad
>Actually quite decent but rarely cooks normal food and sticks to BBQ
>BBQ is fine but refuses to experiment or try other rubs/marinades other than "Chupacabra Rub"

>>14669267
>When you're the oldest, your parents usually are younger and more motivated to teach you proper manners. Also they might be poorer if they just started their career thus more into eating whatever veggies have a discount at the supermarket.
Fuck that's brilliant, did you come up with that? It makes sense of literally everyone I know with siblings

>>14669927
>>Cannot drink diet soda to save her life. Not supposed to drink regular soda because diabetic and refuses to make the switch
>>Not food or cooking but she cannot take pills without peanut butter like a fucking dog or else she breaks down in hysterical crying because the pill "tastes nasty"
is she 12?

>>14670012
29 and soon to be 30 as retarded as it sounds it almost makes me want to break up with her because of that one stupid issue. I imagine getting older and maybe having kids and them seeing that bullshit as acceptable when it comes to taking medicine.

>>14669927
>dating a diabetic
Bro.

Neither of my parents will have cheese on their burgers, and this is a taste they formed long before they met.

>>14670063
In my defense she didn't find out until a year into our relationship after she had to go to the hospital cause of beetus shit. I'm a fatty myself so you gotta take what you can get.

My dad drinks milk with everything
Bigass glass of milk with EVERYTHING
Well go out for crab and lobster and he'll ask for milk
We'll order pizza and he's got milk ready to go
It's fucking disgusting

Also not as gross but my brother eats room temperature spaghettios, frozen pizza and frozen pretzels

>>14666301
NO CAN READ YOUR MIND YOU CATTY BITCH JUST FUCKING TALK TO HIM LIKE A HUMAN BEING

>>14666038
my gf is also vegetarian
>won't eat mushrooms
>doesn't like most cooked veg because her mum would always steam them to mush
>basically lives off carbs
>doesn't like any alcohol
It's not so bad, she doesn't give a fuck about what I eat, so we usually cook our own dinner but always do it together

>Mom always has to take the "cords" off of eggs
>won't eat anything with any amount of egg if it hasn't had the cord taken out (cookies, cake, etc)
>otherwise she's a really good cook

>dad hates onions and likes his bacon overcooked til it's almost dust

>Dad claims to have no sense of smell or taste
>Man wish I could smell that
>Mm bet that tasted good
>Bust ass
>DAMN WHAT'S THAT SMELL??
>Travel to China
>THE FOOD HERE TASTES TERRIBLE

my entire life hes gone back and forth saying either he can or can't smell and taste

Do you anons yourselves have any annoying food habits?
I can't really think of any that I might have
I eat everything
I don't do any weird shit
I don't over under cook and or season stuff

>>14665796
My family never finish drinking tea. They always leave like half the cup left and it's gone cold, waste of teabags and milk.

>>14670156
What the fuck is an egg cord?

>>14669327
>puts mayo on hot dog buns
I thought I was the only one

>>14670216
These things

>>14670234
I mean, I never really paid much attention to them. Kind of just assumed it was part of the whites or something. They disintegrate when you beat the eggs, so it's not like it's a texture thing.

Uncle
>Always leaves 1/4 of a beer left in the bottle and never finishes it
>Doesn't want to drink the "backwash"
This isn't even exclusive to him either I've heard people say this shit for other drinks as well. What the fuck is wrong with these people that they're spitting so much into their drinks that the end product is mostly spit and not the fucking drink god dammit god dammit god dammit FUCK

>>14670170
>>Travel to China
>>THE FOOD HERE TASTES TERRIBLE
wow, your dad has absolute shit taste

Whenever we go to a restaurant my dad orders steak. He always, ALWAYS complains about it being tough and shit. He orders rump steaks medium.

>>14670193
i refuse to eat organs
never even had them to know if i like it or not, just dont want it
i also eat almost all leftovers cold, people think its weird, i just hate microwaving anything and usually cant be bothered to heat it up in the stove

>>14670234
Alright, I looked into it, and it's something called a Chalaza. Has she said why she refuses to eat them?

Mom
>cooks meat until it's a dry hockey puck
>smothers any meal with a mountain of salad that barely fits on the plate and then drenches that shit with lemon juice until all flavor is gone except for, obviously, the lemon

MIL
>BURNS FUCKING EVERYTHING
>either too much or too little salt
>everything is swimming in oil (old oil at that)
>will not look at a recipe to save her life but always tries to cook what she has zero experience in
>dumps a bunch of raw onion into a pot of burned rice to "absorb the burnt taste"
>there has to be at least seven type of carbs per meal
>diabetic fattie but thinks everything she cooks is healthy
>gets pissed if people dislike her cooking
>always makes way too much food that no one will eat
>her cheap ass is always buying discount produce/she's always watering down her ketchups and sauces so they last longer etc
>house is a pigsty and rarely owns a sponge

>>14670260
She thinks about finding the little wiggly thing in her food and it grosses her out. Never actually happened to her before though.

>>14670263
>Never actually happened to her before though
Well yeah, when you beat the egg, every mixes together. Even if you didn't, cooking the egg causes it to mix with the egg white. Just don't cook it sunny side up.

>>14670263
Does she know that those things just become part of the egg white and that it's impossible to fucking find it after the egg is cooked?

Well done steak is the best way to do it.
Pink is bad, very very fucking bad. Fuck off tastelets.

>>14666038
runny eggs are fucking awful. over hard = best

>>14670283
wrong
poached is best, then over easy, then over medium then over hard then scramble plebs

>>14666887
Nigger

>>14670293
>eating yolk with puke consistently
its like you want to gag. you cant even scoop it up with a fork.

>>14670296
thats what the toast or rice is for dummy

>>14670303
>puke yolk on burnt bread
>r i c e
God, you fucking europoors.
That takes way too much time dude. Just pop the yolk, cook it all the way through, eat it, and be fucking done.
And dont feel sick from all the gagging you did on that shitty puke yolk. Eating shouldnt take a million years.

>>14670316
im sorry youre a pleb anon but dont take it out on the rice

>>14670330
You dont have a job im assuming, if you have time to sop up puke with your slab of burnt carbs like a disgusting pig eating slop.

>>14670316
>having more than 2 food items to eat
>"WHY ARE YOUR STUPID MEALS SO COMPLEX?!"

>>14670335
Breakfast is supposed to be incredibly light.
Eating a large breakfast is terrible for you.
You should only be eating one small thing to wake your brain up and tide you over until lunch.
a salad, a single egg cooked over hard.
then go the fuck to work and move out of your mom's basement you slop tropping pig

>>14670332
i work full time, youre just lazy

>>14670332
Not all of us have 15 minute lunch breaks dumb wagie

>>14670338
how does the size of a meal have anything to do with the way the egg is cooked?
if you were functional you wouldnt have to worry about being late for the job you hate

>>14670341
how to tell someone has no job: they use neckbeard shortened language like wagie.
>>14670339
Nice larp. Go back to your pen, pig.

>>14670345
A piece of bread with an egg is too much for breakfast is my point you absolute braindead moron.

>>14670347
its the same size as your egg and salad you twat

>>14670350
Wrong. It is quite a bit larger

>>14670354
how wide are your bread loaves?
how small are you salads?
how full of shit are you?

>>14670347
>>14670347
one of these is the perfect sized breakfast

>>14670362
perfect size, perfect componants, perfect taste and all that
but FUCK making hollandaise at 630am

>>14670363
its a saturday morning breakfast
if you want to go easy on a weekday just use some cheese instead of hollandaise

>>14670356
Have you never had a salad cup?
Half inch loaves, the standard.

>>14670374
thats how thick they are, i asked how wide. for a eggs and bread breakfast to be much larger than an egg and salad breakfast the bread would have to be pretty damn big
a normal sliced of bread, half an inch thick is as much or less than an average salad
i dont know what you mean by salad cup, is it a prepackaged thing? if i was making a salad for breakfast id get a handle of whatever greens i had, put them on a small tortilla wrap with some dressing

>>14670381
Six inches.
That's how wide.
Dumbass.

>>14670387
6 inches wide, half inch thick
that is not much bread my friend

>>14665796
what a pretentious cunt you are..let you're family eat however they like if they aren't imposing it on you

>>14670393
what about when it does impose on me, like trying to design a budget friendly menu that caters to 3 different picky eaters

>>14666918
desu I can't imagine any meal without soup along bread and chilli peppers

>>14670390
That is too much for breakfast, paired with an egg.
Toast, or a single egg. Pick one.

>>14670193
I can't abide dry food, everything I have has a lotta sauce or gravy or whatever. It's not a problem because I only ever either cook for myself or eat out but I imagine it would annoy someone else who was cooking for me.

>>14670400
gimme a reason why
and prove this whole point you have about it being too much despite the fact its the same amount
i get that you might not like to eat carbs even though its the start of the day but thats a you problem my man

>>14670416
Breakfast is the worst thing you can do to yourself

>>14670429
according to?

I must be an anomaly because my family is great with food.

Only con out of our family of 5 is my sister chews with her mouth open

>>14670435
Wellness today magazine

>>14670435
Stop giving that retard (You)s

>>14670283
retard
>>14670296
>>14670316
>>14670332
>>14670338
>>14670346
>>14670347
>>14670354
>>14670374
>>14670387
>>14670400
>>14670429
>>14670446
Unironically kill yourself you mouthbreathing retard
It seems you were dropped on the head one time too many as a child, probably your mother regretted not aborting you and I don't blame her

Stepdad
>barely eats and drinks beer instead of water
>will ask my mom to cook x food and then will barely eat any
>constantly munches on some whole wheat croquette things that are the human equivalent of cheap dog food, no nutrition whatsoever
>massive fiber intake due to above gives him problems when shitting
>refuses to eat spiced things, will spy on mom and check if she adds anything but salt, pepper and maybe thyme. Mom literally grows almost every herb you know about in her garden and she cannot use them.
>demands that meat is washed beforehand like a bit of water compares to the SEARING HEAT REQUIRED TO COOK IT
>bbq must be cooked abhorrently dry and if the meat was marinated beforehand he becomes reluctant and will barely touch it
>bread with absolutely everything and will ask you why you won't eat bread despite explaining multiple times that potatoes, pasta, rice are supposed to replace the bread ( yes , Eastern European country)
>extra salt on everything

I am heavily concerned that he won't last long and he's 55.

Mom cooks fine but clearly does not pay much attention to detail and does not respect recipes - carbonara is carbonara regardless of the cheese type or meat, I usually refuse to concede when I am around.

For some reason dad will eat what I cook despite it being against everything he "likes", as long as the meat is well done.

>>14666111
my god those digits are insane it must be true then

>>14666178
salty milk and coins? huhhhh i dont get this one like salty milk and coins is nut right? what

>>14666238
Son?

>>14669844
honestly anon almost all unhealthy coping mechanisms are better than purging, if you can try to get him to switch to something less harmful (low level sh, and so on)

>>14667049
>The leftovers will get stuck/clog up the exit
>The egg will cook onto the cutlery
etc. Not sure why we have a dishwasher either. Also
>am /fit/
>Anything protein yoghurt is seen as 'dessert' and weird for eating not-in-the-evening
>Know more about nutrition for years but they always go against what you say (boomerthing I guess?) and argue against scientific studies because "they don't agree"
Let's not even get into the calories and metabolism debate, fuck it pisses me off

>>14670504
It's difficult especially since he has anxiety issues and in general and just refuses to do anything about it.

>>14666978
lmao

>>14665796
Partner
>never do dishes
>randomly decide she's not a fan of some food after we've cooked
>grow lot of shit, never bother to harvest any or take care of the plants

Roommate
>loud as fuck eater
>unrelated but probably autistic

>>14670510
yeah man I do too, the only thing doctors ever did for me was put me in a cage, it's fair enough being wary. purging isn't sustainable though. if he wants to stay around for more than 10 years he really needs to find something else to do that serves a similar function, soft drugs, exercise, restricting eating, (low level) cutting, anything honestly

>>14669056
beta dads unite fuck those weak motherfuckers their the reason darwin is mad from beyond

>>14666320
>had a nightmare as a kid and have had a permanent dislike of celery ever since

>>14669144
your weak

>>14670510
He's fucked in the head. Sometimes I want to leave but deep down I love him. Hell one time he was short on his meds and broke up with me because he said he was going to probably kill himself and didn't want me to be around for it or make me feel guilty for it.

>>14670540
>>14670510 (You)
He's fucked in the head. Sometimes I want to leave but deep down I love him. Hell one time he was short on his meds and broke up with me because he said he was going to probably kill himself and didn't want me to be around for it or make me feel guilty for it. He's on gabapentin, propranolol, and clonazepam.

>>14669912
I'll come to your place for Christmas bro. I'll pound all your liquor and bang all your snacks.

>>14670193
>vegetarian
>eat with the knife in left hand and fork in right like some retard
>bitch about "false" oil based hollandaise/béarnaise/etc even though I cannot taste the difference
>autistic about pizza toppings
>autistic about fruit in food

There's a certain comfort in being a stubborn man with principles. Millenials don't understand that

>>14667556
He has leftovers sometimes from when we go out to eat. I know that's hard for you to understand because you are poor

>>14670603
>>eat with the knife in left hand and fork in right like some retard
Fuck people who say the knife should go in your dominant hand, that's obviously the correct way to do it

>>14669267
Funny, I'm the youngest in the family, but my older siblings can't cook for shit. Hell, I cooked dinner for the whole family while my eldest sister is still in highschool

>>14670593
>>14670585

i was on the other side, although it didnt work out. i was too fucked kn the head for her and it's probably for the best things worked out how they did. but i got better. was on too many meds before. haven't cut for a while, still do sometimes. probably shouldn't be pouring out my heart to a rando on a cooking forum but it just hit close to home.

ps IMO clonazepam is shit and anti-anxiety meds work better but maybe that's cuz I like benzos too much

>>14670481
If it makes you feel any better becoming widowed at old age generally improve ones life quality according to the data.

>>14666666

>>14670603
Always used the knife with my left. For me, the fork is the one that needs to be in the dominant hand, since it does all the maneuvering. The knife just saws and pushes downwards
Cutting your food at the table is counter-intuitive anyway, so I've only had to use knives in restaurants

>>14670609
It gets better.
>go to my cousins wedding a couple of months back
>ok anon be on your best behaviour an apply yourself and your table manners
>try to eat like one should
>a little drunk
>manage to eat inverted but every bite takes ages
>girl at my side ask if I'm ok
>drop food
At least it was not spaghetti.

>>14669327
>extra well done
so, burnt?

>>14669927
>pizza with ranch
wtf, bro
it that an american thing?

>>14669927
that gf of your's must have the most amazing pussy on earth, or you are the biggest simp and idiot there can be

>>14670262
>MIL?

>>14670666
mother in law (your husband/wife's mother)

>>14670636
It's okay anon no judgment here. He has to be on those meds because if he isn't he'll have a mental psychosis again. I'm just tired mostly because he's been an asshole when he's gotten drunk and told me things that still come to mind even at random times and it disgusts me.

>>14670262
>>there has to be at least seven type of carbs per meal
pls give an example

>>14665796
>>believes bread MUST be served with every meal

>>14670535
>>loud as fuck eater
how the fuck do you eat loud?

>>14670669
ty

>>14670669>>14670666
more like MILF

>>14670672
>drunk
>psychotic
>deep down I love him
Statistically speaking he will probably kill you you know.

>>14670680
Chewing like your life depend on it with your mouth open, constant licking and lip smacking, only cook food that sound like wet pussy etc.

>>14670687
I've already delt with him when he's been off his meds. But yea I get what your saying. I got him to stop drinking the hard stuff and stick with lite beer once a week which has worked out but before that the mean shit he's said still sticks around in my mind.

>>14670694
>lite beer
On second thought I'd probably rather be killed than date some faggot who only drink that shit. Anyway, you do you and good luck with your bf.

>>14670693
so basically you mean that he is feeding himself like a dog does, instead of eating

>>14670701
He does use cutlery, but other than that basically yes.

>>14670710
have you asked him if he was raised by animals?
like e.g. Mogli?

>>14670672
hope everything works out man. for both of you

>>14670713
I actually know both his parents very well and they're both nice people with good manners. I think he have regressed because he's lonely and live a mostly boring life with little to no variation.

>>14670720
is he a shut in neet, or does he have simply left humanity?

>>14670720
do his parents know about this?
mine would have slaped me into proper behaviour

>>14670700
>>14670716
Thanks guys

>>14670730
>>>14670720
>do his parents know about this?
>mine would have slaped me
•-•

>>14670737
>•-•
welcome to fb, no wait...
wtf, my parents do not want to be disgraced by incapabilities I should not even have adopted in the first place

they care

>>14670726
He work as a programmer and sometimes goes out to do stuff with me or his colleagues. However he's eternally single and will soon become a wizard. He spend all his time in front of the computer and never initialize any interaction.

>>14670730
Probably not.

>>14670396
buy what you have money for and let them starve..eventually they will eat what you can provide

>>14670673
I was exaggerating a little but nearly every single meal has to include multiple carbs.
>rice with potatoes or yucca
>spaghetti with potato salad
>gluten meat (she stopped being vegan ages ago but is still addicted to turning gluten into "meat" although it tastes nothing like it) with root vegetables and rice
Etc.

ex girlfriend
>would buy random vegetables
>would mix vegetables with sauce, “saute” them with salad dressing over medium low heat
>would mix with pasta and this was “meal prep”
>politely advised her multiple times to try out some easy cooking recipes from mom blogs
>she insisted she was a good cook and ate this terrible meal prep with variations like taco seasoning, ground turkey, etc for years
holy fuck just follow some blogs

>>14666111
Get back to finishing your cabin, John.

>>14671005
sounds like a good way to experiment with seasonal veg
did she write anything down or was it just random stuff each time?

>>14670910
i dont pay for(much) of the food, im just the house cook

>>14670193
I cook dinner for me and my wife 6 nights a week ( Friday is usually going out for sushi) I eat as fast as humanly possible like a prisoner, and I have certain foods I love to cook, but hate eating such as garlic rosemary Turkey. I like the taste, I just get nauseous whenever I try to eat turkey

A few years ago I was forced to move in with my grandparents and their dead-beat son (my uncle) as I finished my last year of school, due to financial reasons. What I experienced in that house for that year was utter culinary horror. My other (non-deadbeat) uncle spoke to how terrible my grandmothers cooking was when he grew up with her, but I never really grasped the depths of it until I lived with her.
>constantly fucked up the simplest of meals, even microwaved style TV dinners somehow came out overcooked
>had a fucked habit of being so addicted to the television that she would just leave meat on in the pan while she watched some stupid CNN piece about trump, meat was always horribly overcooked
>could not grasp the concept of not cooking frozen meat at all, as a result everything was dry as fuck
>over-seasoned the FUCK out of everything, like, not just a little. we're talking so salty it could literally make you gag
>had absolutely fucked ideas of what would go well together, one night we had (from frozen of course) swedish meatballs covered in HP sweet and sour sauce
>deadbeat uncle literally REEEEEE'd once about her making KD with shell pasta instead of elbow
>she would REEEEE herself if you put any sauce on her awful, overcooked hockey pucks and said "it's an insult to the cook"
cont.

>>14671249
>despite this, insisted on having a "full fridge" because having an empty fridge "makes us look poor", yet 90% of the fridge was just various supermarket brand sauces that were overdue (often by several years)
>hated garlic, refused to ever use it... except for one time, after me mentioning that I enjoyed the taste of it she put... and I shit you not, an entire bag of granulated garlic into a pot of mashed potatoes. having made it inedible, she then used this as "evidence" that garlic was "bad"
>decided to do a nice thing for her one day: made homemade eggs benny with locally sourced chorizo and from-scratch hollindase. she entered food critic mode and proceeded to tell me all the things I fucked up about it
>always insisted on cooking way, way, way too much food but refused to eat the leftovers because "that's what poor people do"
>raged at me when I cleaned her fridge and threw out a bunch of rotting/moldy/fucked food and told me that I was "wasting food"
>had 2 fridges that were both in this state constantly
>had a "spice rack" with just about every spice known to man on it, but all of them were so old that they hadn't just lost their aroma, but a lot of them had been bleached of all of their color
>constantly fell for retarded kitchen meme tools like the baconwave, the kitchen was stuffed full of useless, single use tools like this (bought a ninja blender that never left the box once)
cont.

>>14671251
>had an entire ceiling fixture for all of her pots/pans, only ever used 2 of them
>had the big wall of knifes with a magnetic fixture, all of them extremely expensive, high end knives that had been abused so badly that none of them could cut jack shit anymore. instead she bought packs of supermarket pearing knives and used them until they went dull, then threw them away
>regularly microwaved meat, canned soup, eggs, vegetables not as a way to re-heat them, but as her primary way of cooking them in the first place
>despite all of this ineptitude, christmas/thankgiving came around and she could somehow finally cook. the turkey was always juicy and tender, the stuffing was perfectly seasoned, the mash was delightfully soft, the veg was cooked perfectly, there would be a whole assortment of horderves that were amazing... and then I realized after living with her for that year... she never cooked it. all those years I thought she was a great cook because I would go for christmas and thanksgiving and it was good. what I didn't know was that my (non-deadbeat) uncle and his wife came over a hours before-hand and made the meal for her, and never once complained when she took credit for it

>>14670656
yea its common practice

>>14670347
All I ever have is a bran muffin and a spot of yogurt

>>14670193
>be me
>shrimp/lobster/any crustacean disgust me except crab for some reason
>don't eat uncooked greens except in sandwiches/hamburgers
>don't eat any fruit except bananas, everything just tastes so sour

Me. Im a picky eater.
>Afraid of cheese
>Dont eat anything that has cheese in it or if i have a suspicion that it might contain cheese
>Chug literal gallons of skim milk every week
>People freak out when I tell them Ive never tried cheese or pizza
>There was a period in my childhood where I would exclusively eat steak

>>14666887
NIGGER

>>14671005
>>would buy random vegetables
>>would mix vegetables with sauce, “saute” them with salad dressing over medium low heat
>>would mix with pasta and this was “meal prep”
minus the salad dressing part, i do this. can i fuck yer ex?

>>14666929
yeah my mom does that too, if she made birria that's the only thing we ate that whole week

my partner uses up all the expensive shit.
i get some nice honey for my coffee and cooking. she uses a tablespoons worth in every cup of hers and then its gone
i buy some pesto for pizza and pasta and she just slathers it thick on fucking toast until its gone
I find a discount cut of meat to cook and then she needs to buy beyond meat at $16/lb so she can have 'meat' too

oh yeah and if theres a vegan version of something, she has to buy it,
>vegan vodka pasta sauce?
>soi boi face!!

and when she goes out for vegan food, even though theres a ton of places with great no-meat dishes , she picks the beyond-burger resturaunts for shit like vegan corndogs and vegan burgers and all that other fake meat bullshit

:emoji:

>>14671875
during quarentine we dipped out to the woods and i got her eating mac n cheese and pizza :p

also she lets me cook meat in our shared cast iron and wont make me clean that shit out for her meal if the last meal left meat residue .... i wonder if that oil is a good source of vitamins for her. hmmmm

>>14667377
>This ones gonna be me one day, and why the fuck are you complaining? Unless it’s just absolutely awful there’s literally nothing wrong with this.
food waste. america waste a bunch of food. we wase resources for convience ... to make the jews more monies. fuck americans and their entitlement

>>14670481
Fuck that faggot she should cook whatever the fuck she wants and if he doesn’t want to eat he should fuck off to a fast food place

>>14671932
If there’s food waste because of good cooking then you people just need to eat more food and stop being candyassed faggots

>>14672052
>If there’s food waste because of
becuase it would be impolite not to have more than enough food for everyone
because only poor people eat leftovers
becuase big chunk of meat has to be center piece of meal
because not having a full fridge is for poor people

>>14672072
>whining about good food