/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15294749
americans are disgusting

>>15294749

Degenerate country. Needs nuking.

>>15294779
thats the poorest thing I've ever seen

>>15294810

>>15294749
That little kid in the background having childhood stolen.
Women are such horrible people now
When did this happen?

>>15294805
was waiting for something to explode

>>15294815
What the hell is going on here?

>>15294831
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I WANT TO BREED AND TEACH MY CHILDREN HOW TO MAKE MEAT PIES FOR CHRISTMAS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>15294749
America is the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah

>>15294752
>>15294758
Lol, look at the triggered muzzies.

>>15294749
degenerate whore

>>15294845
Opiates of some kind. Either vicodin or oxy or the like. It's called "nodding", as at a certain point it becomes impossible to stay awake. They'll be fully functional one moment and then sound asleep the next. Don't do drugs.

>>15294823
Doesn't compare to water pie. This has actual ingredients.

>>15294823
wheres the vinegar

>>15294889

>>15294898

>>15294879
Lol I did a Google image search and all of the articles were basically "poor subway woman worked so hard and so exhausted from hard life she falls asleep in sandwich"

>>15294752
I am American and agree after seeing this

>>15294954
okay chang

>>15294950
>sprinkling the bbq powder on top of the ground beef instead of mixing it

>>15294749
Degenerate whore

>>15294970

>>15294944
This is why we need a DARE program again.

>>15294970

>>15294772
works better with grape tomatoes, you get a more even cut on them
also works with olives

>>15294878
>Garter over panties
Stupid fucking bitch can't do anything right.

>>15295009
TIL

>>15295017
OMG, You caught that!

>>15294845
>>15294879
As a former opiate addict myself; it's opiates for sure. I never got like that at work at least.

The fellow in this webm is on ketamine. The backwards lean is a dead giveaway.

>>15294858
Can't wait to shoot me some angels and trade with the demons desu. Hopefully I'm out of this dump by then.

>>15294749
Americans must be exterminated.

>>15295015
where did the stupid tongs go?

>>15294868
that is the kind of father i wish to be someday lol. the potential humor in that kind of slight of hand is exactly why i can make functional origami designs and always wish i could perform magic tricks with cards and what else.

>>15295056
How the fuck is a backwards lean a dead giveaway for ketamine (a dissociative)?? The guy in your webm just looks drunk plus a bit high on heroin lol
t. ER medicine expert

>>15294760
Fuck yeah, this is awesome. Fried cabbage is delicious and very simple to make.

>>15294752
They're british

>>15295002
They never went away, they just don't work.

>>15294760
I was on board until I saw the color of the skin. I don't want to eat something with AIDS, famalam. No entry to Flavortown for you.

>>15294779
This is fascinating looking. So it's baked long enough to fully evaporate most of the water content leaving behind pretty much a vanilla caramel? This is so cool.

>>15294909
>vinegar
Cool it with the racism... Please use the politically correct version of "viAfricanAmerican". Please and thank you.

>>15295017
Just fucking inappropriate.

>captcha Out

>>15295017
why are panties supposed to go over garters?

>>15295056
Holy shit I sometimes have these nightmares where I'm trying to move but my body won't cooperate and this looks how that feels

>>15295147
is adrenaline that fking powerful? this idiot got 4+ shots and was still walking

>>15294864
>Lol, look at the triggered muzzies.
Anon, everyone agrees Amerisharts are degenerate, not just muzzies.

>>15295056
>reviewing guns is thirsty work
heh

>>15294752
That is so obviously a council flat. Those are BONGS

>>15294755
olive oil on a steak. That's shit right there.

>>15294760
actually one of the least annoying recipe webms i've seen

>>15295261
Imagine wearing that to work or something under your usual uniform. Imagine wanting to sit down and take a piss, you only want to pull your panties down, not take off your garter too.

>>15294755
>The virgin sear vs the chad reverse sear
NGMI

>>15294760
That's not "fried" cabage. The pan is way too cold. it's fucking stewed and there's very little browning. The recipe is fine, the way Beulah cooks it, is not.

>>15294868
that man is a treasure.

>>15295294
You just pull your penis over the top of the elastic.

>>15295030
>Shaken not stirred

>>15295301
Then you lose the illusion of your LARP

>>15295294
pleb
you put on the garter before you put on the panties

>>15295309
I made the post before reading the comment thread I'm sorry for being a bully

>>15295123
>how to get gout on the cheap

>>15295270
Bullet wounds aren't like action movies would have you believe. Especially small caliber handgun wounds. Unless hit in the head or heart you can keep on going. Even a lung shot will take a few mins to actually drop you.

>>15294845
That asshole is in the process of losing his artistic license.

>>15295385
at least move the serving dish out of the way from beneath your falling mouth crumbs you disgusting fat fuck

>>15295385

>>15295405
Your opinion is not in the recipe.

>>15294752
Looks like bongland

>>15295193
You think that was sugar ?

>>15295518
also what the fuck is going on with the candy cane ones?are you just supposed to fucking bite into chunk of candy cane and fuck over your teeth like a complete retard? what a retarded plate of shit

>>15294845
mustard gas

>>15295367
no

>>15295525
Jack doesn't eat candy canes. They're gonna get thrown into coffee, hot milk and/or hot chocolate.

>>15295385
Jingle bells, what's that smell? It's Jack's arm's decay. Can not ever exercise so he prays problems away.

>>15295539
with all those sprinkles and other shit stuck to it?

>>15295544
It's all in service of getting more chocolate goodness.

>>15294755
Leave the fucking steak alone. Poking it doesnt add flavor

>>15295549
forgive me if I pass on not having sprinkles and other shitty candy crap floating around my coffee

>>15295558
You've responded too many times on this subject. Calm down.

>>15294755
Steak for fags!

>>15295542
That's just god testing his faith.

>>15294940
Lame as fuck. Like why did they even bother making this?

>>15295270
probably a .22 or some other small caliber that doesn't do shit unless it hits your heart, spine, or brain

>>15295564
don't tell me what to do bitch

>>15295273
It's literally some yuropoors. Kek retard.

>>15294772
Wow, I just buy one of these on Amazon.

>>15295147
Can we not post rekt threads? This isn't /b/.

>>15295518
Jack is exactly the type of person who would have that sign in his kitchen

>>15294864
What? The penis is circumcised, though

>>15294950
Do Americans really?

>>15295567
Jacking with jack

>>15295385
>>15295486
this is the /ck/ webm content I come for

>>15295193
>fully evaporate

Definitely not the case as it's retained most if not all of it's volume. It's definitely relying on the thickening power of the starch from the flour and the chilled fat from the butter to get that consistency.

>>15295015
>nonstick pan
*close video*

>>15295567
Normally I would laugh at stupid kitchen gadgets like that but now I guess they're appropriate for his crippled arm

>>15295622
ah the good old days

>>15294834
Ok, this made me laugh.

>>15294866
Better this than a blue turkey crown. I wonder how many women wound up getting beaten this year because Tesco sold them rotted meat and they didn't notice til too late.

>>15294898
This is not cooking.

>>15294787
The fucking state of that

>>15294925
And here I'd always though a Dublin Coddle was when you got punched square in the face by a gloved hand, as opposed to a bare one.

>>15295758
All the time. Deciding whether or not to purchase two pounds of beef and a pound of bacon is not something we have to take a lot of care over. Meat is inexpensive here, our Turkeys aren't rotted and we aren't autistic Calvinists. Our great grand parents weren't fucking Nazis either.

>>15295622
>lazy omellete
>15 minutes of seeping plastic into your food until it reaches a dehydrated texture
yum!

>>15295859
Embarrassing post.

>>15294940
this looks like it was written by an AI

>>15294749
Why would anyone want to see their mom get a cumshot facial? It's not like she hasn't gotten many from their father. Everyones mother has obviously had sex at some point. But why put into your mind "This is what my mom looks like when she gets cumshot at her face even if it's a pastry doing the cumming".

It makes no sense. Why put yourself through such a thing?

>>15295890
So this is what mental illness looks like.

>>15295878
Honestly, spraying your sperm in a woman's face is abnormal behavior. People do it because porn trained them to. It's not something I expect my father to have done to my mother at all.

>>15295904
Mental Illness has many forms

>>15294975
>remove chalaza of egg
REMOVE THE WHAT
ALL MY LIFE I HAVE COOKED AND EATEN EGGS
ALL MY LIFE EGGS HAVE CONSISTED OF 3 PARTS: YOLK, WHITE, AND SHELL
WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHALAZA
WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE REMOVED
I HAVE BEEN EATING THEM THIS WHOLE TIME

>>15295925
The little umbilical cord kind of thing.

>>15295904
That'd be Kay. She's way worse with sound though.

>>15295385
I never understood chocolate-covered candy canes.
The chocolate melts in seconds, the candy cane in minutes, so you get maybe one mouthful of chocolate, and then you're sucking on a candy cane for like 5-10 minutes afterwards.
The only alternative is if you're fucking chewing the candy cane and just crunching through with every bite, which, given candy canes as thick as those, would prove quite disastrous for your teeth.

>>15295938
uhhhhhhhh

>>15295988
Jack's explanation.
>>15295539

>>15295938
what was the intended goal here? Is this supposed to be like... an ice cream sandwich?

>>15295525
they're old fashioned peppermint, it's soft. have you never eaten that kind of peppermint stick before? they're also not candy canes, they're sticks

>>15296013
Artic Roll.

>>15294760
>Remove bacon fat
>Add bacon fat
There wasn't even a reason to remove the bacon in the first place when you fry the cabbage for like a minute and you cover it with a lid to steam it would have ended exactly the same but faster and getting less shit dirty

>>15295162
fuck off

>>15294779
She is adding something extra, it's either in the vanilla extract or the sugar. There is no way this is a straightforwards recipe

>>15295156
yeah ok. They had invented barrel technology but had no idea about alcohol. Right.

>>15294787
Party salad?

>>15295015
I wonder how many times this twat has cut the tips of her fingernails off.

>>15295930
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>15296064
They found a different ingredient to make it is all, ya fuckin' dunce.

>>15294760
what would you eat this with?

>>15296064
It says this drink was stronger. That implies they had something before that.

>>15294815
Wakey wakey wagie
You haven't toasted my sandwich yet

>>15294831
Good lass
They will make fine wives in about 2 years

>>15294755
>pepper
why does this meme spice persist?

>>15296048
Nigger

>>15295490
lmao

>>15295146
>They never went away
They didn't? I could have sworn they were gone now. My school stopped theirs ages ago, in fact I think I was the last class to go through it back in like 2002ish.

>>15295056
>filename
top fucking kek

>>15296048
Yer in the wrong place, homie g. This hood comes with a neighbor prefix.

>>15294749
Why would you allow your child to be in the room while you do that? Shameless.

>>15294755
>olive oil
>barely any butter
>barely any salt+pep
good first try

>>15294796
>dark yellow text on light yellow background

>>15294779
"What's for dessert?"
"Water pie!"
"Water... pie?"
"Yup!"
"... huh."

>>15294755
End result doesn't look bad. What's the right way to cook steak?

>>15295622
Enjoy your keto diet

>>15295859
based and beefpilled

>>15295490
I want to eat her pussy while she smokes a cigarette an smacks me in the back of my head and yells in chinese

>>15295253
Fucking nice

>>15295622
jesus you gotta be fucking kidding me
>put egg in pan
>put other stuff in pan
>wait
>omelette

>>15295253
a 4h high cook in my slow cooker kills the coconut taste for the most part, i doubt 3.5h in the oven will be more forgiving

>>15295925
I always thought that was rooster sperm

>>15296358
The way she cuts that onion, I was expecting it to be a gore webm.

>>15295367
A direct hit to the heart can upwards of ten seconds before the person bleeds out enough to drop. It's pretty much only CNS hits that can guarantee an instant drop, and even then you still have to keep location in mind.

>>15295490
I don't think I'd ever cheat on my wife, but it would be tempting to find out what it feels like to be entwined by flimsy limbs like those.

>>15294779

>>15296358
I hope she can fuck, because she appears useless in the kitchen.

>>15296353
No. That's a Frittata. Omelettes are stuffed a split second before being done cooking, then plated.

>>15294834
Dude looks like Barret from FF7.

>>15296539
That's a retarded definition, some omelettes aren't even stuffed.

>>15295490
wtf

>>15294779
I thought this was fake, but it isn't. What the fuck.

>>15295622
Why does the omelette have an eye?

>>15295622
Woah this is based, I've never made an omelette before, but now I think I can.

>>15294868
I'd beat the shit out of him if he tried that with me.
Just give me my god damn ice cream.

>>15294831
Guy's got some cute kids.

>>15294868
based Turk

>>15294868
what a fuckin gem

>>15294984
I hate this

>>15295938
this makes me laugh very hard and also feel a deep, unshakeable sadness.

>>15296106
just about anything, but it's southern cuisine so picture other dishes in that realm. In leaner times that might have been the main course, though.

>>15296642
I would love to see this. Everyone else is getting dessert-and-a-show and you're the fragile self-serious nightmare who can't take a joke without stewing in impotent violence-fantasies. Social suicide. I love it.

>>15295490
she looks like a horrible lay, and yet I still want to fuck that attractive dead fish anyway

>>15296797
This one absolutely kills me. The way his dead arm is just flopping around. Why doesn't he just get that shit amputated?

>>15296818
because Jesus is helping him get better as payment for the best chili award he was robbed of at his local church
Jack will be back to choking his son in no time

>>15295056
>Hello this is Ian Mccollum, and welcome to another episode of forgotten weaponsh *hic*

>>15295912
He did. And she loved it the first few times but grew to hate it.

>>15296642
americans

>>15295056
good 7.65 French Longue really breaks a nigga

>>15294815
future doctor right here guys

>>15294845
it probably has narcolepsy

>>15296642
Cringe, he would slap your girlfriends ass ( which you dont have ) and make her cum, and you would grumble to yourself whilst jerking off because a Roach just cucked you

>>15295567
>>15295385
i sure hope that's not his jerking hand, that would be frustrating

>>15296797
What a waste of a perfect pine-Appelle

>>15295056
>Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it.

>>15296905
>immediate phantom spank at any given time
Sounds like a benefit in that regard if you were to ask me.

>>15294779
water way to have a good time..

>>15296889
You’re such a nigger

>>15294925
>irish food
>potatoes

>>15294815
I feel bad for her. old black women who work, work hard she probably has 3 jobs I want to be her neighbor and be the guy she randomly waves to when we see eachother.

>>15295264
that's the succubus stealing your seed! you need to find Jesus

>>15296905
He's got an unhappily married wife that he probably slaps with his dead hand when she talks back to him about exercising, eating right, assaulting their kids, divorce, or abandoning his failing youtube "career"

>>15297062
It wasn't her kid that got choked by him and her face lit up like a christmas tree when Jack boasted about it on that podcast
>n--n-no-no--no his wife hates him because..... uhhh .........

>>15297082
Have you seen their bickering in the post-stroke videos
She's losing her fucking mind babysitting this retard

>>15296154
>>15296880
>>15295380
losers

>>15297112
They are a perfect couple (if not a little heavy).

>>15294866
>cover in gravy
ruined

>>15294878
all of my years of watching shitty gifs to the end has been for this

>>15297130
They're such a down to earth family.

>>15295486
>soup
That's literally 4 sticks of butter

>>15294950
>bbq sauce
what is americans obsession over this disgusting over sweet sauce

>>15294755
Isn't this just Gordon's method?

>>15295490
who's the chinkette

>>15295890
Buzzfeed or whoever made this must die. This is a credible threat, fed fags.

>>15294815
Thank God I don't go to Subway anymore
If a fast food place accepts EBT I stay the fuck away

>>15295025
Couldn't toast that fucking roll?

>>15296880
She dead.

>>15294760
why would you cook food without washing the shit from your hands first?
Thats not hygienic.

>>15297249
Well now I'm sad. Thanks for ruining the fun jackass.

>>15296106
fried chicken and watermelon

>>15294815
dock that nigger a day's pay for sleepin' on the job

>>15295925
F

>>15295890

>>15296358
trigger discipline!

>>15295123
Vitamin A overdose incoming

>>15294837
Still explosions aren't as common as the federales would have you believe.

>>15294855
Eating cat food alone in the wilderness. Wow what a dream.

>>15296960
lovely stuff

>>15294890
Interesting, we don't normally add onions to our kale mash here and use fresh kale but looks nice. The Speck is a welcome addition.

>>15294868
you know he fucks good.

>>15294787
That's just a very weird way to make carrots with béchamel sauce

>>15294868
>all icecream cones you get have been touched by at least 3 people

i wonder what the covid situation is like there

>>15295914
>>15295890

>>15294755
>american cooking appliances have two settings
>lo or hi
>don't even spell them out because it saves the paint of 3 extra letters total
country of retards and jews

>>15294866
Stuffing comes in a packet? What?

>>15295062
because the british are making cheeky penis cakes the americans must be exterminated?

>>15296358
>cute face
>tiny dress
>bare legs
>bare feet

HNGGGG

>>15298144
So you never grocery shopped before?? Lol

>>15294898
>American cooking
>All "ingredients" are already factory made foodstuffs

>>15298189
Like all Europeans I do my grocery shopping at McDonald's

>>15298189
Grocery shopped more times than I care to remember mate. But this is breadcrumbs and herbs. Have never seen it in packet form. Why would you bother, it's so easy.

>>15298219
And yet you get your hens from a packet and your breadcrumbs from a packet.... fascinating

>>15298229
What? I buy my chooks yes, but I grow my own herbs and make my own breadcrumbs. Stuffing is too easy to make from a packet...

>>15298235
I mean too easy; why use a packet?

>>15294787
>>15294772
Niggers

>>15294760
>nigger hands
hard pass

>>15294890
lel'd at Pinkelwürste

>>15295056
Once you're on the floor you might as well just stay there until someone kicks you out or comes to help you out of the store. Definitely not speaking from experience haha.

>>15298235
Make a kangaroo's load in your mouth from scratch, "mate".

>>15294874
Frank Hassle at 0:22

>>15295490
>that ending
fucking lol

>>15295785
Most retarded kitchen gadgets are literally designed for disabled people, they're just not marketed as such.

>>15295162
Go back to /pol/

>>15298160

>>15297112
Kiwi retards are always talking about this, but their autism prevents them from understanding that is just play, and it's normal.

>>15295162
Why yes, I am an incel and I have nothing good going for me, how could you tell?

>>15298377
Dude grow up it's normal inborn behavior to be repulsed by bad smells or visuals that's why eating ass is pushed so hard onto the dregs of humanity

>>15294796
>3 ingredients
not worthy of a video

>>15296818
>>15296825
if he actually went to physical therapy and exercised, he could have it as close to fully functioning again as possible with major dedication
too bad

>>15298397
What do you base this assertion upon?

>>15296576
The definition of an omelet requires it to be a folded product.

>>15296925
My sides

>>15294851
based, the dude is hot as hell and dad material for sure

>>15296308
>>15296787
i know a lot of people from china, i think anyone that would make a video like this is very nice and fun to be friends with.

>>15295056
oiii that is Aphex Twin, total respect to that ketamine anon

>>15294834
That little girl had already taken cumshots to her face. Its 2020 you doofus.

>>15294772
nasty green seedy filled insides. yuck.

>>15298564
Thats a douyin/tiktok whore. avoid at all costs.

>>15297001
>cuck misses his black girlfriend

>>15298385
is that how you cope underage subhuman?

>>15298269
you will never be a woman.

>>15296642
>I'd beat the shit out of him
You can try, but he'll probably just dodge everything while giggling away.

>>15294755
Olive oil on high heat. Enjoy your grease smoke.

>>15299083
Ok redddit

>>15294779
Do bongs really do this?

>>15299217
Thats a dane, bongs all have dark hair and brown skin

>>15294845
Comedown from a crack binge

>>15294749
She took it like a champ. Bravo.

>>15294752
>>15294758
>two people are representative of a whole nation

>>15297001
It's literally a crackhead nodding out. You're all clueless.

>>15295385
What could he possibly be appraising? Its chocolate and candy, we all know what that tastes like. No test needed.

>>15295030

>>15296818
That would be a stroke of genius

>>15298252
Autism.

>>15298887
Dont say things like that anon, not even as a joke

>>15294858
It's England you racist cunt

>>15297169
Depends on where you are in the country. Many of our barbecue sauces are definitely not sweet.

>>15299505
CARLOS

>>15299505
CARLOS!!!!!!

>>15296642
why are you americans so violent

>>15296642
Guaranteed replies.

>>15294831
truly a man to be envied

>>15295490
kek

>>15298283
Absolutely btfo. Enjoy your packets of breadcrumbs you fucking faggot retard

>>15299998
Is there a definitive link between diet and strokes? Cause goddamn

>>15300225
>I m-make my b-bread AND br-breadcrumbs, c-checkmate
no one cares, stop browning ya daks bruce

>>15300246
Yes, it's possible to get a stroke by drinking energy drinks.

>>15298455
Show me a cheeseburger at transonic speeds

>>15296539
Only french omelettes are stuffed right before they are done.

>>15299398
In a way, yes. Degeneracy inevitably spreads.

>>15294890
lecker

>>15295123
>Liver tastes great
It does not.

>>15294890
she has a set on her

>>15295914
what the fuck have they made?

>>15298898
most young chinese people are bordlerline autistic study insects with no personality. their only hobby is playing pay to win chinese mobile games,

>>15294815
And now you know how tips are spend

>>15300012
who finds this shit funny

>>15300628
The fuck is this all about exactly?

>>15300878
It looks like Alicia is celebrating her birthday.

>>15300888
Alicia being the mother? Because there is only 1 candle there, I am hoping it is not the toddler's birthday...

>>15300760
lel, not even one image of a proper harvest rotating around. dont think even juicero was that scummy, the thing at least worked.

>>15300955

>>15300973
thats more interesting, but the the question is do these small herbs actually have an intensified taste, or do they just grow up retarded? and are those modded seeds or is it just the growing environment?

>>15300999
Good Question?

>>15295264
unironically used to have those dreams too. For some reason they always took place in triathlon events

>>15300999
I think this is a hydroponic garden like the Aerogarden I got my sister for Christmas a few years ago. She lives in an apartment, was missing gardening, and loves fresh herbs and vegetables. Hydroponic gardening grows food faster. The herbs and vegetables don't have any sort of intensified taste, but they taste just like the ones you could grow in your garden.

I have a house, but I'm seriously considering building a hydroponic garden in my basement so I can have fresh tomatoes and herbs year round.

>>15301671
You can generally build your own hydroponic garden cheaper than buying one (I think the aerogarden I got my sister was about $100) but the prebuilt ones are a lot more screwup-proof. It's a lot easier to mess up something like the amount of fertilizer to use in one you build yourself.

>>15300813
bonerific!

>>15300770
What a bizarre way to make a stew. Why not just cube up the meat and make it all in the same pot?

>>15300614
Me. My only objection is that the guys look soy.