/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15510859
most of the ones that come to mind are for eggs.

>>15510870
I call this one the eggxecutioner

>>15510859
Honestly, if even half of this skymall-tier shit actually worked, I'd have drawers full of it. Sadly, I was disillusioned as a young man by a "instant pasta maker" my grandmother once bought me as a gift.

It's more about the ideal than it is the function.

>>15510870

>>15510870
It also works on mushrooms and strawberries. Most of this shit is "I do this five hundred times a day" tier, though.

>>15510884
Oh, I’ve always wanted to make boiled eggsicles in a fleshlight.

>>15510884
making 4 dumplings at once has never been so easy

>>15510884
MADE FOR BEC

>>15510908
topkek, when i first originally saw that thing on here i thought the same thing. check out the mechanism of how it works. theres no way someone hasnt burnt the absolute bejeezus out of their dick with that thing.

>>15510913
i think this one more closely fits the definition of "inventing a problem no one had with a solution no one asked for". i guess its a "smart egg tray"? it has LEDs that indicate the oldest eggs and syncs with your smartphone to tell you how many you have at a time. from amazon: "heck Egg Minder while at the store; you'll never be in a scramble for a good egg again."

>>15510925
whoops

>>15510933

oh god.

>>15510913
>making 4 dumplings at once has never been so easy

>Marishka hasn't heard of the Hunky Bill's perogies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpRO8vMwCCc
Makes 18 large perogies! Yes, Marishka! There be it a Hunky Bill!

>>15510870
this is for presentation uses

>>15510941
>available at: Canadian Tire
wtf?

>>15510925
>it has LEDs that indicate the oldest eggs and syncs with your smartphone to tell you how many you have at a time.
I never understood egg trays in general. Why not just keep them in the box you bought them in? Then you'll know how old they are.

>>15510859
Egg toppers do address a certain problem in fine dining, where a certain shape of egg shell is desired for presentation.

A lot of "useless" gadgets are extremely useful if you're mentally or physically disabled. You may be reasonably intelligent and able-bodied, but you're not the core consumer demographic.
Susie Suburbia isn't either, but she buys the crap in a futile effort to give her existence meaning, and disabled people who are somehow managing to contribute more to society than vapid soccermoms benefit from the convenience and economies of scale that are inherent with the As-Seen-On-TV shelf at WalMart.


Except for any "babycakes" appliance.
Those offer no redeeming value to anybody.

>>15510952
They sell fucking everything. Hell, I've bought most of my tupperware, my deep fryer, and even my toaster oven there, plus most of my hand tools.

>>15510859
I guess this one is less stupid than the one in the OP since you can at least use one hand to operate it. but seriously how much of an oaf do you have to be to consider buying a tool to break eggs

>>15510997
also this, how hard is it to turn on your stove and set a timer?

>>15510999
that one is at least more efficient than cooking on a stove since you only heat up a small amount of water

>>15511003
I can't spoiler tag, but guess what
You can steam things on a stove, too
Don't even bother getting a basket out cause it doesn't fucking matter. Just put your eggs in a small pan with a little water and lid it.

>>15510997
the OP isn't stupid at all, it's just for a very specific purpose which is generally gonna be for presentation purposes (e.g., a savory egg custard with caviar or smoked roe for an amuse bouche or canape)

so shut up, faggot

>>15510999
I'll give this one a pass. You use less water, you don't have to wait for the water to boil, and they come out just about perfect every time with no need for a timer or effort.

>>15511003
Water, the cheapest and most abundant ingredient not only on Earth, but in the entire observable universe. Glad I'll be saving on that.

>>15511100
Damn he's right, I fuckin' hate waiting 30 seconds for my kettle to boil 100ml water

>>15510870
this is for tomatoes actually

>>15511003
>>15511100
If you're that worried about efficiency and costs, I'll do you one better: just use your steamer

>>15511114
are you an actual retarded person?

>>15510859
My dad worked for the guy that made these. We still have one today

>>15511124
are you ANOTHER actual retarded person?

>>15510859

>>15511130
nope i just hate slimy runny egg whites

>>15511113
>owning a kettle
Wow, you can just use a bowl and a microwave you know.

>>15511131
I think this is actually a cool idea because cutting 'za with the edge of your fork works but requires inordinate effort but the rotary blade won't actually be sharp enough to effectively cut the 'za otherwise you'd risk slicing your hand on it. Plus it's such a single task item that for any other food it'd be cumbersome. Better to just use a sharp knife if you're the kind of person who has to cut 'za on your plate.

>>15510952
Canadian Tire started off as a tire store, but now it's sort of a maple flavored walmart

>>15511208
What if I eat pizza every meal?

>>15510913
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CE4J-MV8tE

i feel like i've died and am floating through purgatory

>>15511228
Then you are the target market.

>>15511131
>cutting a pizza slice on plate
No.

>>15511243
Do you like hurting other people?

>>15510997
I guess old/arthritic people could benefit from this

>>15511208
>I think this is actually a cool idea
>'za

Checks out

>>15510999
This is great if you make a lot of eggs in the same way that a rice cooker is great if you eat a lot of rice.

>>15511138
"nope"

then proves he is.

>>15511284
It's not, though. The only thing it actually does for you is turn off the heat after ten minutes. I posit that there is no circumstance where this really matters.

If you make a lot of eggs you take a big pot and cook them all in it. There is literally no limit, you can cook 500 eggs in one batch if you're cooking for a big group or food industry.

For 1-3 people it's just a waste of space.

Might make sense for a big family. Dubious though.

>>15511093
by that logic you could also use the device I posted for some fancy faggot dish with a french name

>>15511375
do you know how logic works? i don't think that you do. what does your stupid device make possible that wasn't possible without it?

>>15511272
While that's likely true, most old people are too set in their ways to buy some gadget to help them do something they've been doing for 50 years. My grandmother just turned 90 and has those old gnarled tree looking hands riddled with arthritis and she still hand mixes with a wooden spoon.

>>15510882
was this where they basically just pour hot water in a container and let the pasta sit? I think I remember those

>>15511381
making the same gay dessert but in a smaller egg

>>15511486
so then it is admittedly NOT the same, right?

>>15511493
correct, which makes it a different dessert that wasn't possible to make until the device existed

>>15511272
If your hands hurt too much to crack open a damn egg then your hands hurt too much to use a pan

>>15511520
>wasn't possible to make until the device existed
Wrong.
Knives predate the egg topper, and had been used to neatly open the shell. They are still used if someone needs to serve in egg shell but lacks a topper.

The egg topper makes it easier and faster to neatly open an egg, useful for producing a dozen of these at a time, presumably for a restaurant or other fancy service kitchen. It serves a purpose, normal people just don't need to service that purpose.
Kinda like an industrial potato peeler (Hobart 6430-3); yes, you can peel potatoes by hand, and that's sensible for 5 or 4 pounds, but it's impractical to get 50 pounds of spuds bare that fast with only 2 hands.
The device buys time.

>>15510925
https://www.achewood.com/eggsmilk.php

>>15510870
This is for eggs they use on salads

>>15511243
That music made me feel relaxed

Bask in the glory of the ultimate culinary experience.

>>15510933
is that an egg hotel with little charging ports next to their beds?

>>15511738
>cum a dog

>>15510999
The point of this is speed. Stove is just slower.

I dont have one, but I have an electric kettle to boil water and it is kind of the same point. If someone loves eggs... i give it a pass.

>>15511003
>>15511100
>>15511284
>>15511764
ok but why do you need an egg steamer? why not just make it a steamer with a time for eggs

>>15511878
size I guess, egg cookers are quite small

The worst part of such unitaskers is that they're always harder to clean than the respective basic versatile tool.

>>15511878
This thing is incredibly small, requires no effort, is super simple to clean, and cost $15 on sale. Who cares?

>>15511929
MUST.. CON.. AHHHHH.. IM GONNA.. IM GONNA.... IM GONNA CONSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM

>>15511935
Its no different from a rice cooker. If you regularly eat eggs for say breakfast before work then it's super convenient. It fulfills a specific and useful purpose.

>>15511945
You know what does BOTH of those things just as good? A fucking pot. One single pot. Dont you feel like a gigantic failure? I do it purely out of pride; im better than those machines. I dont need them.

>>15510859
>>15510997
Aren't devices like this mostly for the really old, people with arthritis, and the disabled? Why would an able bodied person care that they exist?

>>15510963
I've seen them use egg toppers on iron chef to make egg royale and it always looks great.

>>15512076
Go ahead and make rice in a pot and keep it warm for 2 hours without coming back to it after you put the lid on.

>>15512104
Why the fuck would i need to keep rice hot for two hours?

>>15512107
for recipes that call for rice but the rest of it requires the entire fucking stove and every pot in your cupboards

>>15512126
Nah man, have you tried being more competent? I plan things ahead as to avoid these problems.. Think about what you are doing for more than two seconds before you begin your project.

>>15510941
those look like little butts heh heh

>>15512104
Bake it in your toaster oven.
Covered dish, 1:2, 350f, 35-40 minutes, 15 minutes rest time.
Just let it coast on residual heat for the next hour, then give it a 10 minute bump at 350f (or set warm/stay on).

>>15512278
That is beyond his comprehension; save your breath

>>15511102
electricity / gas is not

>>15510884
anyone got the webm of one of those puppies getting shat out of the machine?

>>15512076
1. put rice in rice cooker
2. ???
3. perfect rice, zero effort

>>15510859
anything that isn't a knife, a pot, or a pan.

>>15511243
there would be worse afterlives
the music is nice and the footage is generally inoffensive, even if the product is silly
but then again, after 1 year, let alone 100,000,000,000,000 years, of watching this sort of footage (or existing within it) it would get pretty old

>>15512076
I think the dedicated egg steamer is unnecessary, but I like having a rice cooker because even though cooking rice in a saucepan or pot isn't hard the rice cooker is even less difficult and is always more consistent.

>>15512341
>put rice in pot
>pour water into pot
>bring to boil
>cover on low for 20 minutes

OMGGGG WOWWWWWEEEE AHHMAAAZING!!

>>15512076
Also, imagine cooking rice in a pot because it makes you feel important. How miserable of a person must you be that you derive such a high level of personal worth and enjoyment out of a task that you personally describe as mundane and effortless?

>>15511764
Speed.

>>15510963
interesting point

>>15512375
Imagine having to buy a gadget to do something so mundane and effortless.. imagine not taking pride in knowing how to do things lmao

>>15511935
I'm sorry that you're poor and can't afford a $15 gadget

>>15512401
I use a rice cooker because I don't value the experience of cooking rice in a pot. It doesn't bring me personal satisfaction or enhance my painfully low self-esteem. I just want it cooked and kept warm until I'm ready to eat it. I don't care about anything else.

>Imagine having to buy a gadget to do something so mundane and effortless
No no no, you don't get to turn this around on me, faggot. You said yourself that cooking rice in a pot instead of a "gadget" enhances your self-esteem and fills you with pride. You also said/implied that cooking it in a pot is so easy that a retard could do it.

You are prideful over tasks that a retard can complete.

>>15512439
Its just rice bro. Its literally beyond my scope of comprehension that anybody would specifically go out of their way to buy something specifically for doing something so mundane. Its a pride thing, i didnt say it fills me with pride when i make a pot of rice. Youre being hyperbolic and weird, anon.

Doesnt it make you feel like an utter failure that you bought a special device to accomplish a task that a literal retard cod do with a regular pot? Seems dumb.

>>15512462
>Its a pride thing, i didnt say it fills me with pride when i make a pot of rice.

>Doesnt it make you feel like an utter failure that you bought a special device to accomplish a task that a literal retard cod do with a regular pot? Seems dumb.
Still trying to "NO U" me? No more replies after this, (You)jew.

Happy Hot Dog Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUTPCEA-al0

>>15510870
No Scandinavian house is without one.

>>15511131

Do Americans really?

>>15512495
do you use them for tomatos, too?

>>15512191

Based retard.

>>15512486
im too proud to buy something to do something i already know how to do, yes. maybe learn how to cook rice so that youd know how to do it instead of relying on a device to do it for you. thats what i mean by “pride”, not that im beaming with self satisfaction upon the completion of a menial task. i take pride in being able to wipe my own ass, as it would be undignified to have somebody else do it for me if i were unable to do it for myself.

does that make sense? lol cope harder faggot

>>15512521
No but my mother bought a knife with several serrated blades that was supposed to slice a tomato the same way. It got used once then was banished to the third draw.
https://youtu.be/xpnxedNxK3o?t=50

>>15511208
>'za

>>15510884
How exactly does the device smell like after a few days? I am pretty sure cleaning that thing is a bitch!

>>15511114
lmao, nice joke

>>15512401
To be honest, most people use rice cookers because this way they can safely o do something else and not worry that shit will burn if they forget or leave it unattended.

How lame must your life be to care about something like that...

>>15510870
This also doubles as a little guitar.

>>15510859
None. A good chef can solve every problem with a knive.

The more "utensils" you have in your kitchen the worse chef you are.

>>15513078
this is a foreign concept to me.. i honestly dont get it. set a timer? dont start something on the stove then walk away? idk man

>>15512907
someone post this on /k/

>>15513100
alrighty smartypants but how will you cook your food with a knife?

>>15510870
Honestly the best way to slice mushrooms for commercial kitchen prep if you don't buy pre-sliced.

>>15513156
Well, first you get them nice and hot...

>>15513168
if we both started with a flat of mushrooms, me with a knife and you with that, you wouldnt even be halfway through the flat by the time i was finished. Mushrooms are the best, you can fuckin fly through them like the wind

>>15513122
>set a timer? dont start something on the stove then walk away?
That is the point, these people WANT to be able to just walk away and not worry while it performs it's function and makes perfect rice.

For example, you can set it up real quickly and go take a shower or play vidya or whatever and it gets done perfectly, just as if you were there cooking it.

The concept you are not getting is that people are lazy and want to spend the little free time they have doing things other than cooking.

Cooking is a hobby, but it is not universally enjoyed. There are even people that resort to living off soylent for the sake of not cooking!

>>15513185
And then I'd laugh at your mountain of butchered uneven mushroom chunks.

>>15510952
they sell hardware, tires, tools, they'll fix your car, AND they have a bunch of as-seen-on-tv bullshit that they ambush you with as you leave. they even sell clothes.

>>15512341
you forgot the water dipshit. now you have to evacuate your house because its full of smoke

>>15513219
some of us are actually quite adept with a knife.. id wager yours would be more uneven because youd have to set them in the device just so where i can cut a mushroom into even pieces without looking at it and id be onto my next project

>>15513213
you know what? thats a fair point. it just irks me that people refuse to learn how things work and act like self reliance isnt a worthwhile pursuit while advocating redundant and superfluous tools for the same exact job. its probably because ive done it for a living for a while so its second nature but still

>>15513251
>you know what? thats a fair point. it just irks me that people refuse to learn how things work and act like self reliance isnt a worthwhile pursuit while advocating redundant and superfluous tools for the same exact job. its probably because ive done it for a living for a while so its second nature but still
Mate, I assure you that if some retard created some magical pill that would make people not need to poo, someone would buy it just for the sake of not doing it.

Sloth truly is a remarkable force.

>>15513267
it's like not changing the oil on your own car. taking pride in taking care of your shit; like, do these faggots pay another man to come over and plow their wives too?

>>15510859
It's niche, but there is a purpose for those cutters. You get a very clean cut on the egg for presentation's sake that you can't get with a knife, like for this thing.

>>15513273
Having sex is enjoyable. Paying attention to a pot of boiling rice is not.

>>15513273
>like, do these faggots pay another man to come over and plow their wives too?
There ARE people that do that, yes.

Are you feeling it? Can you feel your entire sense of reality shattering as you realize how low humanity has fallen? Yep, get used to it because it is all down hill after that realization...

>>15510859
Always remember that a lot of these "as seen on TV" items were originally made for people with legit physical disabilities. However, the inventor had to find a way to market them to the general masses to justify production cost when making them for the people who could actually use them.

>>15513294
>only FUN things are worthwhile!

>>15513304
^^case and fucking point, huh..

>>15513316
>>only FUN things are worthwhile!

>>15513322
are you memeing on me right now, bro? there's more to life than just the next hit of dopamine; i personally find self reliance to be very fulfilling, much moreso than popping a nut off in a wet gash.

>>15513348
>i personally find self reliance to be very fulfilling
You mean you find it... FUN?

>>15513360
...you don't seriously think that FUN is the only sort of fulfillment, do you?
yeah, like it's gonna be real fun for me to use my vacation time to go see my grandma across the country for her 90th birthday... and yet, i somehow am doing this by my own free will because i want to do it. how could this be?!?!?

>>15513402
You receive some sort of emotional fulfilment out of it. Your life is far more fun than you seem to be willing to admit.
Hell, you almost seem afraid of the word "fun".

Any egg separators. They only make sense for people with wrist conditions or parkinsons

>>15513429
Thats a different guy but i think its a gross oversimplification of the good parts of life by categorizing things as either “fun” or “not fun”. fun is great but its an ephemeral kind of satisfaction, spontaneous and enjoyable and in the moment but i wouldnt consider fun to be especially fulfilling. Feel me?

>>15513429
That's really not what people mean when they say fun. They refer to peaks of pleasure, not to steady satisfaction.