/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Just scale the rest of the stuff to the flour next time

Pee on it lol

Mistakes can lead to a better understanding of the process you fucked up.

They can also foster creativity. Dont be too hard on yourself, but also dont confuse the meanings of 1/3 and 1/4.

>>15757134
My dad once told me to cook some pees but when i started peeing in the pot he beat me with it so hard I got a detatched retina.

I got filtered by liver. First time I prepped chicken livers, I didn't let them soak in milk before. The taste of iron was so strong it overpowered all other ingredients and ruined an otherwise perfectly fine dish. I also ate way too much (because I didn't want to admit defeat) and the next day, I had headaches and saw double. Must've been some 200 g that I ate that night, didn't know you could get hypervitaminosis so easily.

>>15757134
A roux is equal parts flour and fat though I get that you accidentally measured the wrong flour portion. My question is did you really add cheese to your roux before any liquid? I'm really concerned.

>>15757134

>Get home late from work
>Walk dog in the cold
>Some spaghetti sounds great right now
>Get back to apartment
>No sense of smell from drippy stuffed up nose
>Find some ground pork/beef blend I had frozen
>This looks fine
>Defrost meat
>Spaghetti noodles al-dente
>Begin making sauce
>Toss meat into pan
>Onions/Garlic/Oregano/Basil/Paprika eyeballed just the way Mom made it
>Brown all the meat
>Vegies are nice and golden-brown
>In goes the tomato sauce
>Let it simmer
>Come back occasionally to stir
>Little bit of spaghetti water to keep it from totally thickening
>Stir in
>Wait a little longer
>Put together a nice plate, sprinkle a little parmesan on top, little garnish of fresh basil
>Swirl my fork the spaghetti for the perfect bite
>Take a bite of my precious spaghetti
>What the fuck
>Bad pork

I threw the whole pot away and went to bed.

As for my most memorable cooking mistake, I tried to replicate stewed black beans for a burrito. Due to plain naivete, I added actual cloves instead of cloves of garlic. It was disgusting to where I still dislike the smell of cloves.

>>15757134
cooked rice using the markers on the rice cooker for how many cups of rice

>>15757434
Sorry, left out that I added 1 1/2 cups of milk. Everything was just wrong, I'm making sure I get all my measurements perfect next time.

Added cornstarch directly into soop instead of mixing it with water in a little cup before hand so I don’t end up with a clumping mess. Also /latenight/ coffee paranoia about a bacterial toxin build up leading me to stop slow cooking mid way in the process and pressure cooking that sanchocho to max at like 1am. Turned out nice, meat not as soft obviously, and I was able to get the cornstarch clumps incorporated, and that citrus/starfruit juice—fresh squeezed—long marination—and green bananas added in....yeeeeah boooooiii. Now I can concentrate on reading now that the soup is done 6 hours early.......need to get over slow cooker paranoia, but to be fair I am using an instant pot, which apparently sucks at said task.

I got a phone call and my icecream base curdled. Icecream still tasted good but had shit texture. Shit sucks because I sprang for a vanilla bean which set me back $15.

>>15757134
>splashed roux martyrs my hand again

>>15757946
Just don't pick up

>>15755238 this, but with scrambled eggs

>have old oven
>consistently 50 degrees hotter than what the dial says
>recipe says to bake at 350
>preheat oven with the dial at 300
>put more batter in each pan than recommended so left it in the oven way longer to compensate
>somehow cake is still underbaked
>turns out I set it to 250 instead of 300 like I thought
I have an oven thermometer too and saw it wasn't at 350 but was too tired and threw it in anyways. Last time I try to bake at 5 AM after a night shift.

>>15757134
>making chili to top my hot dogs with
>bought full fat ground beef in hopes that it would make the dish better
>in reality, while I was waiting for the crazy amount of moisture to cook out, it went tough as shit
>Wal Mart didn't have canned chipotles so I just added tons of gochugaru for spice
>needed acidity so I chopped up some shitty pickled peppers and threw them in; didn't look good
>added crushed tomatoes and no tomato paste because I had never made chili before
>used powdered onion and garlic; didn't do shit for the flavor
By this point, it was bland as fuck and I wanted to add some zing
>little bit of ketchup
>some honey dijon
>it was so bland that I could unironically taste the small amount of honey dijon I put in it
>end up trying to cut back the dijon flavor with worcestershire
>somehow not doing shit
>I decide to put in just a bit of ghee to see if I can round out the sweet and sour chili I'm stuck with
>put in like two teaspoons, and all of a sudden the chili just tastes like bad ghee
>start getting pissed off so I add more worcestershire sauce and barbecue sauce
>have to keep adding more crushed tomatoes because it's getting dry
Then, when I finally fucking gave up, I went to cut the hotdog buns top-down because it holds the chili better that way, and found out that they were pre-sliced. I topped it with raw yellow onions and it was a fucking disaster, no better than a 7/11 dog. Pic related.
However, I was in a Sanic mood, so the next day, I had a retribution arc.

>>15758814
Cont'd
>it's time to start the redemption bowl
>buy lean ground beef, canned chipotles, and molasses
>brown the beef, add in some chopped onions and garlic, sweat them out quickly, and before the beef could get overcooked, I add in 1/4 cup of tomato paste plus half a cup of water
>already looking 100x better than the last batch
>add the chipotles, a bit of ketchup, and a few tablespoons of molasses
>let it hang out for 20 minutes while I lazily stir sometimes
>taste it
>best fucking chili I've ever had
Those extra ingredients and getting the timing right were key. Also, it was much better with tomato paste than sauce or crushed tomatoes. Way thicker.
>bought the right buns this time, slice em down the middle and toast them in my pan
>topped with thinly chopped red onions
Taste? Absolutely kino. I've been so proud about this redemption arc that I've eaten 8 of them in 2 days and I've been posting the pics around /ck/. Pic related.

>>15758827
I should also add that I now understand why Sanic likes these so much. Finally found some American food that I really like

>>15757134
>making apple riesling pie
>do crust
>forgot to stab holes in it
>lay over apple filling
>toss in oven
>3/4 of the way done and I realized
>ohno.wav
>nothing I can do
>pies done
>its good but the crust is very dry and crumbly since it didn't absorb any wine glaze
Not great, not terrible.

>>15758827
>makes chili from scratch for chili dogs
>can't be arsed to finely chop onions or even seperate the layers
wtf man

>>15758827
i would

>>15758855
I was in a hunger rush. My next attempt was even neater: >>15756599

>>15758858
*but I still chopped these up right at the end with a fillet knife
By the time it's time to plate the dogs, I no longer give a fuck about the onions. Next time, I'll cut them first.

>>15757134
All you had to do was add more milk/cream and wisk until smooth again. Sad.

>>15758814
I'm impressed by how awful that meal sounds.

>>15758875
It was a rough day, but it flipped a switch on inside of me. I didn't even look up a recipe to base my retribution off of, and it was the best chili I've ever fuckin had

>>15757395
Should have jumped in an mri machine for easy superpowers, opportunity lost

>>15757442
f

>>15757946
>crying over delicious ice cream because of a weird texture
Your biggest mistake was not growing up.

>>15758827
>not making a small hole in the onions and beef to slightly cook the tomato paste before incorporating
Nauseating

>>15757176
Pee on me

>>15758814
>>15758827
Actually reminds me of a similar thing
>be me
>am me
>decide to make chili with dad
>normally eyeball everything but see a recipe online for cider chili
>whynot.jpg
>recipe was for woodchuck cider
>go to store
>oooh strongbow gold apple haven't had that in a while!
>full retard mode engaged
>get strongbow instead
In case you aren't familiar, gold apple tastes delicious if you like green apple jolly ranchers, while woodchuck just tastes like, well, really good cider
>ff to chili time
>everything going smooth
>all ingredients are added
>cider time!
>insert whole bottle
>simmer
>simmer
>simmer
>taste
>it tastes fucking sour
>realize how stupid i was
>add more chili powder to try and balance
>pray to the chili gods for mercy
>serving time
>we all eat
>immediately begin apologizing for ruining the sacred night of chili
>by the fourth spoonful I'm thoroughly enjoying the strange apple tang
It was definitely the most unique chili I've ever had, but by the time it was done cooking the cider had blended with the other flavors a bit more to create something amazing.

And that's how I discovered sour apple chili

>>15757942
Slow cooking keeps the food at temperatures above the bacterial "danger zone," it will be ok.