/ck/ - Food & Cooking

AAAAAA HE CUT OFF THE PENIS

>>15791347
this is a hack in the sense that you should be banned for doing it

>>15791347
What the hell is that?

>>15791347
Anon please this is a blue board

He didn't peel the radish

>>15791347

>>15791347
What the fuck does he sprinkle on it??? Coffee grounds???

So perplex, as to induce frontal lobe ache

>>15791347
Dilating, the video

>>15791347
>You will never be a woman

>>15791347
where's the recipe??

>>15791347
but why???

>>15791347
Go back to plebit

>>15791347

>>15791347
I definitely thought this was going somewhere else.

>>15791431
its def pepper, mah dude

>>15791347
>that webm

>>15792634
really makes me want to get a flat top for my house, desu

>>15792678

>>15792675
I agree with the other guy. Looks like coffee grounds to me, not pepper.

>>15792629
Yuck. It's like a prolapse

>>15792629
>>15793101
>prolapsed angus.webm

>>15791347
The webm made me me think. What if you just bought piece of meat like that, cut a little hole and fuck it until you cum, of course with a condom to mitigate the risk of any diseases. Later you could use that same piece of meat for cooking and have a nice meal. So far I don't see any downsides.

>>15793887
i doubt it would feel good, seems very stiff and tight

>>15793887
You would have to warm it up first.

>>15793260
heh

>>15792629
RIP, David

>>15792838

>>15793260
underrated

>>15792629
>when you REALLY want to poop out every little shitcrumb

>>15792634
Jesus Christ, Favreau

>>15793260
Lel

>>15791347
wtf,
thats the stupdist thing ever for cooking veal.

>>15792629
>>15792629
this is actually interesting if you bros maillard

>>15793994
the joke is about kids
kids dont know
kids dont care
but love conquers anyway

>>15792634
jesus christ, favreau. it's just a grilled cheese

>>15792634
Thought this was going to be the gay chip butty webm

>>15793887
Except now your meat tastes like latex.

Just cut the whole all the way through so your dick sticks out the other end. That way you don't worry about anything getting in your pee hole

>>15791347
Is this representing anal sex?

>>15794389
But there is no grill?

>>15791431
dried parsley maybe.

>>15792634
that's a ridiculous amount of cheese is it not?

>>15792634
would you like some bread with that cheese? amirite?

>>15794439
>Except now your meat tastes like latex.
Well obviously you take a shower after

>>15792634
>heavily butter the bread but still put oil on the grilltop for some reason
>200 grams of cheese on that bitch
>re-butter the side of the bread you already buttered and fried in oil
what the fuck

>>15791347
>>15792629
>>15792634
not really hacks are they.
I mean it's just weird ways of fucking around with food, and the last one is just a grilled cheese sandwich SO INOVATE!

>>15792634
the hack here is that he's using mayo, not butter

>>15792629
>reverse sear

>>15794896
that's not a hack.

>>15794901
kek

>>15792634
better than a certain rustic grilled cheese did though

>>15793260
Kek

>>15794847
kek

>>15793967
What's this application you're using, fellow 4channer?

>>15793887
fucking with a condom doesn't feel like anything
gotta go raw dog just wash the cum off with cold water it's all good

>>15793887
I saw a movie years ago about chinese people in Africa. The main character is a cook and basically does that when he can hear his boss banging his wife in the apartment upstairs then he put it back in the meat to cook the next day. The meat gets served, someone gets hemorrhagic fever from it, the cook rapes someone for like the 3rd time, someone gets their face blown off. Pretty cool movie.

>>15791347
Pork loin with plums baked in beer is delicious, but wtf did he put in there, is this a fucking horseradish?

>>15792629
1 guy, 1 roast

>>15792634
Favreau's delusions about his own fuckability are hilarious.

>>15792634
why did he use a plate at the end?

>>15792629
>when you don't have a cow tongue at hand just turn a steak inside out

>>15795500
why use a plate for anything ever?

>>15795222
might be floens clover

nice webm thread lul

>>15795604
it does look exactly like clover

>>15794876
This is going to be hard to explain, but I'll try:
Some people like to make their food taste good.

>>15792634
why not just put a bullet into his head? you'd kill him faster than waiting for him to have a heart attack.

is this the most Reddit board?

>>15796769
No that's /tv/ we're close though.

>>15796756
Thats like saying you shouldn't but sugar in your birthday cake. Grilled cheese is supposed to be good, not healthy.

>>15795497
well he has a big money penis

>>15796769
/v/ exists

>>15791373
Meatpussycutdick a delicacy in Weimerica

>>15791373
banana venison with a chocolate crumbles apparently

>>15791347
this is exactly how i made my sex toy

>>15795222
Looks like kuroba. Check Fdroid.

>>15793260
Lol

>>15794876
>burning your butter far before your sandwich is grilled
thanks for so proudly announcing you can't do basic cooking

>>15792629
>Brazilian Churrascaria in San Fran

>>15791347
I've had this .webm for awhile and I need to get around to making me some fish & chips.

>>15792629
Anybody else hear inhuman screaming when he stretches it open and turns it inside out?

>>15798575
I'm afraid you might be schizophrenic

>>15798567
> Salting the chips twice
Why?

>>15796756
>one grilled cheese sandwich
>OMG YOU'RE LITERALLY CLOGGING HIS ARTERIES AND GIVING HIM A HEART ATTACK IN REAL TIME!!!!!!!

>>15793887
No thanks I'm not big into beastial necrophilia. That's why I work in a morgue at night

>>15798829
I remember being told to never put fries back into the oil if they have been salted. Something something about making the oil bad? IDK really

>>15799082
I can't imagine being so obsessed with a video game system you dont own that you make a gif like that

>>15799082

>>15799345
FUCK YOUUUUU

>>15794447
Neo
you freed me

>>15799345
sus

>>15794447
That is a griddle, otherwise known as a flattop grill

>>15799947
>>15799345
>t. reddit
This board is just a subreddit now

>>15800807
this entire website is a subreddit now, retard

>>15800828
ur a subrettit mait

>>15798567
>Kosher salt
Opinion discarded, in the bin it goes.

>>15799345
I don't get it

>>15795271
Film name?

>>15800870
took a while to find it.

>>15794365
more of a seared bite, but losing out on the more rare inner meat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFzjVgolQoU

>>15800838
a-anon you're my subreddit :)

>>15798829
It helps draw out more moisture and make them crispy on the outside and fluffier on the inside

>>15792629
Quarantined dudes getting pretty desperate for pussy these days.

>>15800807
>>15800828
>>15800838
>>15802015
What's a subreddit?

>>15803280
a reddit that gets dominated by master reddit. so, us.

>>15799258
>I can't imagine being so obsessed with a video game system you dont own that you make a gif like that

>>15792634
I unironically fucking love this film

>>15793887
I once read there was an underground restaurant in Tokyo where you could do this shit.

>>15799258
Creating things is fun.

>>15803667
The salmon one is interesting to me, but wouldn't it fuck up your coffee pot?

>>15803667
>foil touching your food ever
No thanks, I actually don't want a degenerative brain disease

>>15803734
>I actually don't want a degenerative brain disease
then why do you post here?

>>15803833
>huehuehue 4chinz bad
Go back

>>15803855
oh no, we're already starting to see symptoms

>>15792634
It's a grilled cheese, it's not fucking art. The level of autism here is just incredible.
You don't get to be this artsy about how hot your grilled cheese's griddle is unless you're adding additional material like
>Grilled cheese and ham sandwich with bacon and apple
And even then it's just tasty comfort food, it's not high art like making a perfect wedding cake.

>>15803928
It is literally from a movie about arty cooking

>>15803870
I think it’s too late for him anon

>>15803667
>sear on steak changes

>>15804472
I noticed that too lmao

>>15798575
He put a bunch of spiders on it too wtf

>>15793887
Do it no condom with chicken breasts, closest thing to the real thing

>>15804472
Those videos are notoriously fake

>>15801681
>>15800870
Here ya go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ2NgixMxdk

>>15804586
Welp, no English subs.

>>15791347
>They performed neovaginoplasty on a ham

>>15803688
No it's glass?

>>15803667
>Put butter in pot
>Fill with hot water
>Discard water w/ butter
??

>>15793260
zozzle

>>15794876
dilate

>>15792629
But why?

>>15799082
> Needing an Arduino to simply power a soijak waving his arms with a servo.
I hate zoomers so much bros.

>>15800860
i used to think that too but kosher salt is just salt without iodine and additives
its just pure salt as it should be, they just sell it under the kosher labeling becuse it appeals to jews and muslims

>>15805821
what's wrong with that? it's very likely he didn't buy one for the sole purpose of making that, an Arduino is a useful tool to have around

>>15803688
The salmon one doesn't work. How the fuck are you going to poach/boil salmon without rbeaking it apart? These videos are fake, they make you believe they cook the food in quirky ways but in reality they cook it apart and place it in.

In this case, the coffee maker mug would be a soup of salmon bits and butter sticking everywhere. They steamed all the vegetables and fish in a separate steamer and placed the salmon inside the crystal jug. They don't even show you the vegetables being taken out.

TLDR: just buy a fucking steamer, don't disgrace your coffee maker for this shit.

>>15794458
Since when does a leafy green like parsley turn to dark brown when dried

>>15804591
the dvd I had back in the early 2000s had subs

>>15796756
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9LSEVtBRvk

>>15803667
>There was a fish in the percolator

>>15806966
Positively Lynchian

>>15806427
It's not meant to be your coffee maker. But your hotel's. It's a good prank on the cleaning keep nice and hot for hours so the cleaning lady can have a nice meal.

>>15803688
They're all fake retard.

>>15803667
>that inhuman amount of pepper
>that weak sear
Fucking disgusting

>>15797594
Gracias, brother. Have a glorious day.

>>15806966
Kek

>>15791431
Jimmies.

>>15806966
Checked and keked

>>15799258
It's pretty funny and takes like 5 minutes to make.

>147 posts
>16 image replies
I thought this was a webm thead

>>15791431
Dookie shit!

>>15791347
courtesy of your friends at /g/

>>15809231
A fine toasting of the dust from under the keyboard keys, yum :)

>>15803935
>>Arty food
I bet the food is great, but its the delivery that kills you. Shake and bake, indeed.

>>15794365
Suck Maill - Ard cock you need faggot

>>15792629
> i'm a woman now

>>15793260
every time

>>15797409
Looks more like a parsnip than a banana.

>>15799345
>>15799357
>>15799947
you all should be banned

>>15793260
topkek

>>15803667
the cookie one made me go wtf

this thread is garbage

>>15803667
Who the fuck wants boiled salmon? The steak looked awful too

>>15793260
Take all my (Yous)!

>>15797409
>>15810049
>banana
>parsnip

Leave it to /ck/ plebs to not know what a fucking daikon is.

>>15801881
Holy shit, that dude looks like a fukin Spook. Shadman lied to me.

>>15807714
Rustled not stirred

>>15811754
i wonder how many girls have used a daikon

>>15812822
Probably less than the number of guys that have fucked fruit

>>15792634
>john k peta.webm

>>15803667
These might kind of work, but they'd all be total shit.

>>15803667
now ur salmon tastes like broccoli

>>15792629
Is that a reverse sear?

>>15805821
I used to be like this but seriously fuck bullshitting around with all those retarded atmel rs232 burners for small home projects, esp. when a chinkduino costs like $4.
But yeah, you don't really need a microcontroller to do this.

>>15813092
First one just makes a mess of your coffee maker and of your salmon. Second one is easily doable, as a clothing iron is just a heat source and does indeed get hot enough to cook meat and other food. I've seen people also make grilled cheese with a clothing iron. You can also put the foil on the iron and that works. The third one works if it's hot enough outside and you give it enough time. An hour probably wouldn't be enough. More like several hours. Would also depend on the cookie dough.

>>15812822
>daikon
他妈的日本鬼子. 是白萝卜.

>>15803667
Please god help me

>>15793961

>>15809490
kek

>>15809490
underrated

>>15803667
>the cookie one

sneed

>>15812892
I'm pretty sure that roast getting prolapsed is more reminiscent of a John K Peta work

>>15806966
kek

>>15792678
give me source of Dat ass, finna COOM

>>15812758
>dude
That is, as a matter of fact, a real biological female. Though I really thought it could have been a dude, too. She's popular on Tik Tok but I forget her name. You can probably find it by searching "hit or miss girl tik tok."

>>15792634
THAT MOTHER FUCKER FAVREAU STOLE MY FUCKING STORY FOR HIS MOVIE, IF THAT GETS OUT I'M GONNA GET FUCKING WACKED.

>>15799947
when the imposter is sus!

>>15805821
>ok guys here is tutorial on how to make project from scratch
>step 1: buy a micro computer
>step 2: download/install software
>step 3: donate to my page
>step 4: now you can make leds fade in and out instead of just blink!

>>15798567
>KOSHER (Jew) salt
>BLACK pepper
Jews are using blacks as a tool to commit white genocide via interbreeding and destroying any sense of identity and culture. I knew it. Ever wonder why every commercial you see nowadays is a black man and white woman? Think about it.

>>15809490
fucking KEK

>>15812822
not many since it's too small for them. The average girl can fit a 10 inch cucumber so the daikon simply cannot fill them the same way a BGC can

>>15796769
>>>/lgbt/
>>>/soc/
Take your pick.

>>15792629
>>15792634
>reverse steer

>>15792629
>reverse steer

>>15792629
Here's what you do after you perform the sex reassignment if anyone else was curious.

>>15814841
>gravy out of nowhere

>>15791347
this webm made me go tf when no gf

>>15814858
I also don't really understand why you'd want to eat graying, medium-well done roast beef either.

>>15809490
Good one anon

>>15798567
>>15814841
nothing in these videos is a hack.

>>15803667
this is stupid, not a hack and the vegetables would not be cooked.

>>15793260
criminally underrated

I have seen literally all of these on other boards, step it up fags.

>>15814604
nice one

>>15793260
I kekkled my zozz so hard my angus prolapsed itself

>>15803667
>the cookies are done when the screaming stops

>>15792629
towards what end?

>>15794876
>butter
retard

>>15803734
Just wait until you find out almonds have cyanide in them lol