/ck/ - Food & Cooking

anyone have any good jack webms? just got a new laptop and need to save a few.

>>16474521
anyone got a webm of someone making fried rice?

>>16474536
I have some on my laptop but im in bed on my phone rn, ill post em tomorrow if no one else has

>>16474521
HOW DOES HE LE GET OUT OF LE EGG FORT EGGMAN POGGERS KILL YOURSELVES

>>16474978
He has to cook all the eggs.

>>16474729
>young_prince_of_the_egg_keep.webm

>>16475075
>>16475079
>>16475081
>>16475083
>>16475084
>>16475085
>>16475087
>>16475090
Nice to see the autist starting us off strong.

>>16475075
I'll never get used to this clip

>>16475129
What are those? Slugs?

E G G
GG
G G E

>>16474664
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMM BACK!

>>16474536
>he doesn't store his memes on a private NAS
NGMI
>Captcha:PEN15

>>16475075
>American Cooking.webm
nice try hans.

>>16475084
>Oh_the_places_You'll_Go_bagel_burger.webm

>>16474826

>>16474521
I know this kind of threads are just for posting disgusting, gross and strange food, or to mock ugly and fat americans, but do we have webms of real high quality food?
I mean i really want to talk about real food or dishes but we know people only talks in a unironic way about fast food here or just ask meme questions. Do people actully cook here?

Anyway, maybe i'm thinking too much, so i'm back to my original question, do we have webms, about real delicious hight quality food recipees?

>>16475207
Looks like Sepia

>>16474521

>>16474521
>>16474729
>>16475109
anyone got the webm where someone added some kind of skin in fifa game where he runs with his egg fort

anyone got the old man who;s struggling? i just wanna cry

>>16475991
>nigel

>>16475087
at first I thought "that's not so bad"

>>16475833
Its because ck got discovered by retards and autist who spam the same shit constantly. I hate it.

>>16475833
It's pretty hard to condense a recipe into a webm, I think is one issue.

>>16475207
Snails

>you >>16474729 vs the guy she tells you not to worry about >>16474521

>>16474521
How does he get out? I can't see any door?

>>16475075
>>16475079
>>16475081
Do americans really?

I think that's all of the recipe webms I have.

>same old webms

>>16476373
Serious question: what is the Asian obsession with cooking things by steaming? Parasites in the water or something?

>>16476418
I have a bunch on pc. Will dump when j get home from work.

>>16475150
I wouldn't shake his hand.
Him needing to wear gloves when eating pizza says he doesn't like washing his hands.

>>16474521
>that filename
holy kek

>>16476454
Historically, the region had less-developed metalworking techniques but more complex woodworking techniques, meaning peasants would often have a single low-quality pot but plenty of wooden steaming trays they could stack up and cook everything at once with. This period in time didn't last forever, but cultural traditions stick around for centuries long after dynasties have come and gone.

>>16475207
baby snails

>>16475812
This is a single serving in burgerland

>>16477025
You're god damn fucking right it is. Now get off our board.

>>16477007
>Yes it is big, but is it Mac or not?
Kino.
>It's big, but not Mac.
K i n o

>>16476895
Handshaking is one of the most retarded traditions we have, anyway. Never trustba person who actually wants to shake hands. It is only done out of obligation.

>>16476463
How's work treating you anon

>>16477048

>>16477048
over; sorry?

>>16477075

>>16477078

>>16477081

>>16477083

>>16477084
pretty light on the poivre

>>16477090
agree, but it's more about the technique

>>16477099

>>16477102

>>16475085
Is obscene to call that diabetes cocktail a salad

>>16476365
Wtf who is that

>>16476309
As someone here tried this? Looks bad to me

>>16477099
yeah the technique looks good. these are all stupid as a whole when they don't list weight/quantity/heat/time while still appealing to amateurs though. like most of them I can watch and could probably guesstimate but judging by the normies I've been around while they play clickbait shit like that they just watch this mouth agape and going ohhh I'm gonna try that (they don't)

>>16477105

>>16477169
I mean... We're on /ck/, we probably know how to recreate something by looking at it. Sear patterns, fond formation, etc should be enough of a clue. Also once you had been cooking for a while, you probably learned cooking is more about learning generally how things interact with heat, flavor, etc and it becomes like art more than science, no?

>>16477325
LOL

>>16477325
>implying /ck/ knows how to cook

>>16477718
People here actually trying to exchange shit beyond meme opinions, snack and junk food tier lists, hot sauce shilling, and the same foodgore webms. Oldfags are masters of sifting through shit.

>>16477733
Idk man try saying that in the next sloppa thread

>>16474729
deepest lore

>>16476002
>he doesn't know about the 4cc

>>16475075
I honestly watched this thinking "you know what? If that makes her happy then go on girl, do your thing" then she topped it with chocolate and I just couldn't anymore

Fuck that

>>16477031
do americans really?

>>16477293

is he OUR guy?

>>16476002
>some sort of fifa game with egg fort in it
how the fuck do you not know abotu the fucking 4chan c.up?

>>16477920
Being morbidly obese is a full time occupation, you gotta work towards it

does anyone have that goblina girl with the steaks which i think is steak americano?

>>16476926
baby sneed

>>16476904
glad you enjoyed it, pal

>>16477131
bing ding ling

>>16476002
playboy I got ya back

>>16476355
straight form Aubrac

>>16474521
>>16474729

>>16479004
Is this real?

>>16477194
so basically a shitty salmon en croute with cheese in it? god I wish americans would stop ruining perfectly decent food

>>16476315
wtf is this shit
looks awful

>>16474729
I cannot believe what I'm seeing

>>16476374
>Americans eating raw beef and not grilling it.
I can't tell if you're trolling or that retarded

>>16476324
What part of Portugal does the best Frankie's? It is not very aesthetic but it looks very comfy to eat, although kind of heavy

>>16478956
>/alck/thread player
Fucking based, also fuck the mods and fuck the jannies

>>16476309
looks absolutely delicious

>>16476315
fish looks great, those chips look inedible

>>16478207
>Do Americans really?

Whenever you ask this question, no matter what it is in relation to, the answer is always "Yes". Why? Because we're fucking Americans, and we do whatever we want. Spin burgers? Eat McDonalds every day? Go to the Moon? Win every world war? Have the only culture worth talking about in the entire world?

You're god damn right we really do. Because we're American, and you aren't. And that just pisses you off.

>>16480274
She did triple-cooked chips wrong. You're supposed to boil the chips until they nearly break apart, then freeze them to remove moisture. Next you fry them on medium heat and again freeze them. You can store them at this point if you want. Final step is frying on high heat.

If done right it results in a glass-like crispy exterior and fluffy soft innards. She fucked up

>>16476324
Its almost a good sandwich but each step is just poorly done in some way.

>>16477860
Over a long enough timeline, the Fillet o Fish has more bones in it than the human body. VERY dangerous stunt

>>16474521
baste

>>16480475
They look crisp to me, professor Chips.

Thoughts?

>>16480580
speak english

>>16480580
food and language match

>>16480461
that's just crushed nuts what the fuck
why the need to pretend that it's cheese? it's already good as it is.

>>16480580
At least it included some stock cubes, Swedes usually seem to prefer utterly untouched vegetables.

>>16480580
>boil together 6 common ingridents and serve with horse earwax.
5/10, probably bland but fine.

>>16480635
brother

>>16480580
Very Northern Euro

>>16476374
yes, they do!

>>16480897
Creepy dude, but good looking pizza.
I gotta get a food scale. Doing all of my baking by cup measurements is probably not the most brilliant move.

>>16476291
>bread
yeah okay, enjoy diabetes
I was expecting some smart shit with real bread

>>16480580
Is this the white people who cannot handle spices I've heard about?

>>16474664
>half of it just falls out of his mouth as he chomps down on another drumstick before he's even finished the first one
Literal avatar of gluttony

>>16475812
would that even cook properly

>>16480916
I have a food scale. I haven't noticed an improvement in my baking.

What I do like though is that it makes measuring fucking easy. Put a big bowl on the scale, zero it, dump in some shit, zero it, dump in some shit, zero it, dump in some shit. No fucking around with extra dishes.

>>16474536
i got a few bro ill post them

>>16474536

>>16481473
who doesn't want a burger that pisses itself

>>16481446
Yes we are aware how kitchen scales work. Going to explain how useful refrigerators are next?

>>16474536
i should really make a folder for these

>>16474536
i have only one more sorry i thought i had more

>>16474536
my friend actually made this for me once and it was just as disgusting as it looks. i forgot about it for 3 days and it held its shape that whole time

>>16476378
What did they add? corn starch and milk?

>>16481483
what an asshole son

>>16476385
My nigga those are biscuits

>>16476418
Reminds me of frikadellen

>>16477071
>2 tiddlywinks of pepper
>storebought mayo
>fucking hot dog buns
FAGGOT

>>16477075
>only pounded one side of the steak

>>16477081
>add 2 teaspoons of chicken broth and a cup of heavy cream to a pot of queso
>call it a soup
Fat fuck.

>>16477105
Reminds me of the egg turd log cooker

>>16481482
I can go into detail if you need help using yours, just dm me bro.

>>16477194
Good idea, poopy execution

>>16477293
>literally just a plain boiled egg
MMmmMMmMmMMMMMHhhhHHhh OOOOOOOooOoOo

>>16480522
Do Canadians really?

>>16480580
DD:

>>16480897
The way he sucked that basil leaf...

>>16481599
I was weirded out by that too at first because I couldn't tell what the fuck is going on in the space between the pizza and his gaping mouth.

>>16477765
>disregard black children
>acquire burger king

>>16481583
i wish

>>16480897
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKFaGDrOfrI

>>16474536
I can post some, but I'd be probably flooding the thread. If you have some requests I might have them.

>>16475083

w-where

>>16475991
>HI I'M NIGEL AND RECENTLY I TURNED 31 YEARS OLD IN THE UNITED STATES.
>THIS WILL BE MY LAST MEAL BEFORE I DIE FROM LACK OF HEALTHCARE
>*takes tiny bites to prolong the last moments*

>>16475075
>>16475079
>>16475081
>>16476374

>>16478813
>pizza with syrup
Sounds based ngl

>>16477920
>I honestly watched this thinking "you know what? If that makes her happy then go on girl, do your thing"

>>16480440
Can't argue with results.

>>16480590
Doesn't look bad, doesn't look particularly good either

>>16480248

Porto. There are a billion amazing places to get Francesinha in Porto

>>16474729
why do they always stare like this? i cant decide if they are looking for a fight or maybe feeling guilty about something?

>>16481632
lel

>>16475087
it's
fucking
RAWWWW

>>16481655
unless you're very wealthy all the healthcare in the world isn't gonna keep a lad like Nigel from ascending to burger heaven sooner than later
on another note I can't find the original video if anyone has it. at least youtube algorithm can tell he is nothing but A MACHINE

>>16475087
This grosses my out like some of the gore that gets posted. I barely tolerate cranberries with turkey. Sweet and savory food together is some of the worst shit possible.

>>16475207
I bet you wish they were slugs you sick fuck

>>16475081
>I don't see what the big deal is, I'd probably even try grilling something like that....
>...
>OH NO

>>16476418
Scott Rea is a king

>>16477105
Eggs in a bag, we used to make this all the time in Scouts. Good times, the egg's alright, fried is obviously much better, but innawoods you can't complain

>>16481714
That's supercar Nigel.

>>16480580
thats fucking vile

>>16481865
holy shit ahaha this is greater than I ever thought, thanks knowledgeable anon

>>16477325
lmao fucking faggot fuck off back to redit, noone cares about your shit cooking

>>16482128

>>16482129
>>16482128
Do Americans really?

>>16482131
They're even worse than you think. You should look at what their "cheese" looks like

>>16482128
>>16482129
coca-cola is an acceptable alternative when you have no nuggie sauce

>>16482131
dipping salty breaded chicken in soda is based, frosties/chocolate milkshakes are also good for it

Doode, remember that time when we ate out of a toilet lmao?

>>16480635
Because their bodies are desperately crying out for a normal diet, so everything is an imitation of normal food.

>>16482166
milkshake is much better than soda
it'll stick better to the chicken, and won't dissolve as much oil/breading as coke.

>>16476922
interesting post

>>16482186
Based Indian cuisine

>>16482137
This is based as fuck

>>16476418

looks good actually

>>16480440

was better as slices desu

>>16475079
>>16475075
>>16475081
but liberals tell me its all genetics???

>>16476365
>those nails
absolutely disgusting

>>16477102
tell me about the chef
why does he tap the knife?

>>16481632
I see it kek

>>16477081
ew a nigger

>>16480675
>using honey without the consent of the bees

>>16481496
Corn starch mixed with a bit of water and sugar, I don't think the original video had any quantities listed though.

>>16481690
NPC glare

>>16482186
How can you scoop some of that shit without hesitation? I would shudder and cringe as I looked at it.

>>16475079
It looked alright at first, looking a bit like toad in the hole, but then I remembered it was chocolate, not gravy, and there was a shitload of cheese

>>16475991
I wonder how much he spent there. I've never seen anyone get a jug of coke before

>>16481473
I've never got a straight answer, but are those worms? Either way it looks disgusting

>>16483517
No one's answering you because you're fucking retarded.

>>16482137
That's really smart if you're a family that drinks a lot of soda. The syrup is super cheap compared to bottles of soda, and the CO2 for the carbonation isn't expensive either

Of course, you probably shouldn't drink enough soda that you need this, but still

>>16483520
I've never seen parasitic worms in any food I've eaten before so I don't know if that's what they look like

>>16483552
Why would there be parasitic worms in food?

>>16483580
It might be a venison burger or something. Hunted meat can have parasites.

>>16483595
It can have parasites, maybe, but straight out worms in meat? I don't think that happens.

>>16481473
uncooked monstrosity

>>16480580
Do Nords really?

>>16475075
>take a smaller plate and you'll eat less

>>16475150

>>16477293
you can see it in his eyes

>>16480580
grim

>>16484095
parasites?

>>16482129
always reminds me of prison break and bellick dipping his fries in milk shake, do americans really and is it any good?

>>16481473
G U S H I N G

>>16480590
>olive oil
>ground meat "browning" in pot
>huge oniom chunks
>thrown into the olive oil meat water mix
>adding beer out of a can

disgusting display of prole cooking

>>16477031
>>16480435

>>16482137
>>16483529
I'm triggered it has pepsi but the logo is coca-cola. if you're gonna go that far, why not finish the job?
or just do this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD7X9SCn0To

>>16475090
Man, I really want an antigriddle

>>16475084
This webm is incredible because the attempts to make it colorful get more and more desperate, and he's still left with a soggy brown clod of misery.

>>16475150
>>16484014
Threadly reminder that this was a parody on how not to eat pizza

>>16481755
kek my exact thoughts

>>16476374
>10% mehr
>American
Yep

>>16474521
INTO THE WOK
OVER THE FIRE
WITH NO REGARD FOR A THING BUT THAT I'M
THE LORD OF THE EGGS
I RULE SANDWICH MAKING

HOW DOES HE LEAVE WITHOUT BREAKING?

>>16477105
And voila, cancer!

>>16480580
>gorgensblocht
>dërg
>barg dissen fuegelscree
broccoli
>fuesstecht röttenfriegelplusse

>>16484807
whats wrong with cooking onions in meat juice

>>16477105
ja/ck/ tier

>>16477105
Why's the bag fucking necessary at all you put egg into pan and it will cook the fucking same enjoy consuming plastic and aromatic carcinogens for no reason

>>16482690
Nobody cared who he was until he started tapping the knife.

>>16480580
Pot is too small

>>16480590
>1 hour simmer
That will prob taste good ye

>>16481664
Gotta be the real stuff. But I prefer honey

>>16475087
would

>>16478813
Does this mean there are people who can't eat anything without syrup on it?

>>16481323
Anon...the webm is in reverse...

>>16485862
I'm getting flashbacks to how fucking awful my grandmothers thanksgiving cooking was

>>16476315
cwispy bits

>>16480635
being a vegan or vegetarian isnt about trying to save the planet or about animal welfare.
it's about pretending to care while being able to feel morally superior to those around you and virtue signal it on social media.

>>16481483
imagine being such a cuck of a dad that you let your 12 year old obese son walk all over you like that.
not to mention, why the fuck would you even leave that footage in?

>>16483959
made this at home, shits genuinely good

>>16480635
Same reason they have "vegan steak" or "vegan fried chicken" that's just tofu or bean curd mashed together with some flavors and colours, so they can act superior to everyone else while still pretending they're able to eat the food that they all secretly still want to eat.
Ask yourself this, if veganism is so great, why do they always have to attempt to imitate non-vegan food?

>>16477031
You realize that burger is superglued together, right? Still impressive, but it's a parlor trick.

>>16476286
underrated

>>16474664

>>16475207
New Gears of War.

>>16480475
How how long do you freeze them for? I thought throwing frozen chips into a hot oil would cause a nuclear explosion.

>>16476324
>pinch of salt @ :11s
That was crystal meth.

>>16480897
What is his grindr account? He cute.

>>16480635
Because vegans are retarded subhumans

>>16475083
What is that. What are they serving.

>>16481645
>>16487462
Ristorante Ciabot in Rivanazzano, it's risotto apparently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgIXTQ23jrY

>>16475083
my dad is a former bricklayer who loves italian food, I bet he'd really enjoy going to this restaurant

>>16481690
They glare at the faggot filming them anon

>>16475991
I hate gammon cunts like this

>>16475084
>hOwToRuinMeat.webm

>>16475991
a fucking jug... that shit is enough for 5 people, what the fuck. Freedom was a mistake

>>16476315
thank you anon, a non-vomitive video!!

>>16477007
these tribbal people are based as fuck, and not Indian tho

>>16489913
>a fucking jug... that shit is enough for 5 people, what the fuck. Freedom was a mistake
Come on now, you KNOW that 2 people could shove that down easily if they were hungry and willingly trying to get stuffed.

>>16477288
what the fuck is this retarded shit?

>>16489913
That's a fairly small amount of McDonalds for an average-sized person, I'd say? The main reason fast-food cooks so fast and "lasts" so short is that there isn't much density to it.

>>16482329
it´s not, it´s stupid as fuck

>>16490025
sure...

>>16481426
The rice is pre-cooked, so is the additions except the egg.

>>16477075
Who the fuck pounds plastic pieces into their meat?

>>16477075
Making this would kill you.

>>16480897
>bored
>decide and try to fap
>go to /d/ to get some spark from my usual fetishes
>after 30 minutes nada, give up
>go here
>see this
>instant moistening
>finish off with the leaf-suck looping in my head
the hell is wrong is me

>>16477031
Awesomeness

>>16476002
if this is bait then it's pretty good

>>16483936
>uncooked
Beef doesn't need to be cooked.

>>16483529
>That's really smart if you're a family that drinks a lot of soda.
If you're a good family man, your family doesn't drink soda to begin with.

>>16490889
>lol so quirky
This irritates me to a level I've not felt since the early 00's with teh penguin of d00m

>>16490889
liberals need to kys

>>16475075
this is german

>>16478956
I had no idea the player skins had gotten so wild

>>16489981
>>16477041
Its fake

>>16485862
>>16486301
Its not amazing but it doesn't look super shit

>>16480580
>wypeepo be like

>>16480675
I thought he was going to activate the almonds wtf

>>16481755
even if you grilled it, the onion would be undercooked as fuck

>>16490889
>Click
>"Pan lotion"
>Close

>>16481426
the rice is already steamed so all he needs is his fuck ton of oil, jet flame heat and quick tossing

>>16480257
>Misato
Based taste. Everyone with a shred of taste knows that Rei was best girl, but Misato was best woman.

>>16490871
This is honestly kinda disgusting.

>>16476418
Never realized faggots were basically just haggis meatballs wrapped in caul fat, thanks for the cool post

>>16476315
She looks so biritish I would eat these chips out of her pussy to make them salty and fishy.

>>16484014
I'm still wondering why the guy goes full bear on a picnic.

>>16492356
>I_only_like_drinks_from_pouches.webm

>>16492356
This was very common in mexico many years ago.
I used to drink my bubbly sugar water this way in my little town when I was a kid.

>>16492356
>balding as a woman
rip

>>16492416
Put some sauce on that

>>16474729
Absolutely astonishingly brutal mogging

>>16477075
>protip: check the heat by holding your hand over it
I am going to physically assault whoever made this.

>>16485896
NO YOU DONT GET IT

>>16486824
superglued with American cheese

>>16478956
>the fucking amazon wage cage guy
hard lmao

>>16483954
>Nords
Swedes are honorary niggers

>>16480635
veganism is about mental illness

>>16481483
jack never played with his son, only took him out to shitty restaurants.

>>16475109
Imagine the gains.

>>16477031
That was actually kind of cool. What a fascinating world we live in.

>>16477293
You can literally see the snake venom gathering at the corner of his eyes holy shit