/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16646815
how does that compare to a costco dog?

>>16646821
ikeas are tiny weiners costco dogs are more akin to a sausage

>>16646815
Always missing the tools to build it but not bad for the price

>>16646815
catsp\up on the burger?

>>16646815
It's palatable. Cheap junk sold at little profit to lure the cattle into staying longer instead of leaving when they get hungry.

If rather eat ikea dogfood than walking around with the bitch. Write down the numbers and I’ll pull the shit from the shelves and assemble it don’t give a fuck about walking their maze again.

>>16646827
You just need Allen wrenches and screw drivers

>>16646815
Why do they sell food in a furniture store?

>>16646815

>>16647257
Because Ikea is an all day thing, they have a restaurant cafe at the topmost floor when you first enter the store and then there's a smaller snack bar at the exits, my local Ikea would make your whole lunch complementary if you bought over $200 in furniture, but this was before corona.

>>16646815
The last time I was at ikea I was on a major xanax bender and don’t remember a single thing about it. A few days later my wife said I was banging the cart into stuff and my food was sliding all over the place on my tray when I was walking with it. Feels bad.

>>16646815
The lunch food is fine.
The hotdogs are great, nice sausages, in the nordic countries and germany, and suck absolute ass in America. Same with the buns — in america the bund are dry, smothered in sugary glaze, and are overall just bad. The pizza is just meh wherver you go.

>>16648065
Don’t mess with benzos. I’m a pretty laid back dude, took a xanny bar on a cruise and tried to beat the fuck out of a 4’11 Filipino guy cooking the pizzas.

Good lord.

>>16646823
What about taste though? Costco hotdogs are pretty much the best money can buy, meanwhile the ikea meatball is pretty shitty.

>>16646815
Garbage but cheap garbage. It's a cheap lunch with better price/quality ratio than most fast food places.

>>16647257
Because it attracts some people who might buy something in addition to the food.

>>16646821
>>16646815
The smell and the concept of the IKEA Date TM that normie fags have is enough to make me never want to go back there. Click and pickup - ok, sure, but I really never want to go back inside that place. It's the epitome of modern CONSOOMing for the mass market to make their home feel nice. For some reason I have no gripe with COSTCO. Totally different vibe there.

>>16649384
I hate Ikea because they are always a fucking longass maze you have to walk through even if you just want to buy some forks or whatever.

>>16649340
Jesus. Yeah I worked my tolerance up to about 20 mg a day. Crazy shit. Never again. I got rid of my scrip.

>>16649340
reminds me of a copypasta of an american beating the snot out of a little asian man during his trip for doing something malicious, but it turned out he wasn't doing anything and he just dropped the asian dude and left lol anyone know it??

anyways, what happened next? You get locked in your room?

>>16648065
Xanax doesn't even seem like that fun of a drug and the withdrawals are downright nightmarish.

>>16649510
You’ve got it exactly right.

>>16646815
Ikea veggie dogs with the crispy onions fucking SLAP

>>16649505
i fucked the asian man up the ass after, THEN i was locked in my room

>>16646823
>ikeas are tiny weiners costco dogs are more akin to a sausage

Ikea's dogs are meant to be small enough for kids. As an adult, you'll be going for the "two dogs and a drink for $2.50" combo.

>>16649525
>these veggie dogs fucking slap yo
I bet if I flicked you with one finger you would go flying, talk like the pathetic malnourished vegan nerd you are

>>16646815

The cafeteria can actually be kinda comfy, especially considering how cheap it is. Get yourself the salmon entree, some hot soup, a pastry and coffee with free refills.

>>16647257
>Why do they sell food in a furniture store?

https://www.businesstoday.in/latest/corporate/story/ikea-restaurant-why-is-a-furniture-maker-selling-food-110837-2018-09-06

Note:
>IKEA initially did not even notice how well their eateries were doing because their furniture were also flying off the shelf. "This might sound odd, but it's almost something we didn't notice," said Michael La Cour, IKEA Food's Managing Director to Fast Company last year. In 2016, IKEA made $36.5 billion in revenue and the sale of food got lost in such a big number. In 2017, IKEA made $42.2 billion in revenue. In fact, 30% of IKEA's customers visited their shops just to eat, they suddenly discovered.

>>16649572
The price to quality ratio is great. They must be selling the food at a negative.

>>16646815

Also, don't sleep on the grocery section. Stuff I like:

>cheap pickled herring
>Kalles (spreadable roe paste)
>frozen potato pancakes (use them quick; they eventually dry out in the freezer)
>rye crispbread
>fish meatballs

None of these things will be highest quality, but cheap and a nice value. (Also, I have never seen Kalles sold elsewhere in USA.)

But YMMV. At my local store, grocery inventory has been inconsistent and lacking in the Chinese Disease era.

i do not like ikea, it is a people zoo

>>16646815
It always takes hours to put together, never looks right at the end, and why are there always extra pieces that don't seem to fit anywhere? I can't stand it. I only go there for the cheap and tasty furniture.

>>16649632
>cheap pickled herring
>Kalles (spreadable roe paste)
>rye crispbread
extremely based
Also gravlax

>>16649658
Why make roe into paste? Half the pleasure is having them pop as you chew.

>>16650591

For easily putting on bread/toast/cracker like pic related. Also, it contains sugar, so there's a mix of savory & a little sweet (unlike anchovy paste, purely savory).

>>16646815
sad food

>>16649525
>Ikea veggie dogs with the crispy onions fucking SLAP

>>16646815
for the price, it's good

>>16647257
>Why do they sell food in a furniture store?
Have you ever been in one with a woman?

>>16648065
>xanax
That reminds me of my last relationship I’ll post the story
Met on a dating website
Met in person we got along we kissed and hugged
She wanted sex
So we fucked it was surprisingly normal
You wouldn’t know how old she was at all looking at her body, except for the tits
Ass like you wouldn’t believe
She came fast
Thanked me for it saying she thought she’d die without feeling like that again
Saw each other often afterwards
Seemed like she was always wanting to argue about everything
Find out she’s on Xanax prescription from her doctor, for decades.
I know Xanax fucks with your head big time
Try talking to her about it she absolutely refuses to even consider changing her meds
Anytime she was wanting to argue she’d take extra ones
Once she showed up at my building at 12am when I was coming from work but I didn’t know she was gonna be there because my phone had died, didn’t show up till 1am and when I did she was acting like she was passing out and shit
It just wasn’t going to work, like duh I know she’s old but we got along, here the issue wasn’t age the issue was Xanax fucked with her head to the point she was fucked up and nothing I could do could help her. Combine that with her age and her feeling she was slipping and I wouldn’t commit to her she got angry. The only relationship that ended badly in my life.
Still, the sex was awesome, that woman absolutely loved doggy and came real fast. When she was on top she would squirt and get embarrassed about it she loved that I made her feel comfortable about sex for the first time in her life.
I’m 34 she’s 79

>>16651038
>I’m 34 she’s 79
Shit story but that’s American education for you. Read more books. Also are you the anon who who fucks homeless people?

>>16651048
>do americans really
What time do you think it is? I’m european

>>16651048

>>16651063
You write in American therefore you have an American education and are using the American part of your brain to write your dogshit story.

>>16651078
You’re making a fool out of yourself boy. By the way it isn’t a story that shit happened, we broke up in April

>>16651063
the sun is up on the east coast of America.

>>16651082
Ok so it’s not a dogshit story your life is actually dogshit and you write like you have brain damage.

>>16651082
Tell me again how much she came and squirted and how great the sex was that’s the most interesting part. You’re totally such a cool and awesome dude and totally not a fucking shrimp dick limp dick faggot loser posting absolutely retarded and ridiculous shit about drugs and se and your fucking dogshit teenage fantasies on an anonymous board dedicated to food and cooking cooking,

>>16651038
Haven't seen you in quiet a while

>>16651038
>>16651048
>>16651063
>>16651064
>>16651078
>>16651082
>>16651084
>>16651086
>>16651092
>>16651099
Sneed

>>16651131
>t. Chuck

>>16646815
Gf cooked frozen ikea hotdogs at home once and i shat liquid meat slurry for at least an hour

>>16651038
Reddit story

kalles is the best food

don't eat that shit anon

t. swede

>>16651064
heh cope you cultureless abomination

>>16646815
The restaurant is soso but the hotdog counter is fucking great

>>16646815
it's okay I guess
>order the famous swedish meatballs
>they kinda meh

It's fine. If we go by in december we get the christmas dinner.

>>16649542
Who are you quoting

>>16646815
Just ate their meatballs and a sundae. Their meatballs are over rated as fuck, but I definitely liked the strawberry jam with the meat, unironically good. I will remake those meatballs to my own liking with the addition of gravy and strawberry jam. Onto the sundae: genuinely good. No need to make it at home because it was very good and I don't feel like it needs to be improved further.

>>16654474
Strawberry? You mean lingonberry?

>>16654520
Well whatever it was, it was good.

>>16651038
They let chris have computer time?

>>16646815
You know you're either fat or dumb as a rock if you buy and eat "food" from a furniture store...

>>16654474
The meatballs are good for the price. Ikea also has good sweets. Their chocolate chip cookies are surprisingly good.