/ck/ - Food & Cooking

The master.

>>17502313
>tfw Marco rips this shit apart and calls it a pretentious retard way of making scrambled eggs

>>17502375
It's too much work, but it tastes good.

>>17502348

>>17502375
He did the same shit, just longer.
Ramsey found a way to make french scrambled eggs in a more efficient way

>>17502375
If you have to take your pan off the stove you are lacking understanding in temperature

>>17502399
what makes Richard Hennessy so special
and what is GMQ

>>17502348
>a fucking erlenmeyer flask
god this is so pretentious and gay

>>17502423
only a fool would rush scrambled eggs

>>17502263
I love how he keeps blatantly tilting his head up to peak through the bottom of the blindfold.

>>17502399
>rose syrup
>pours in rose's grenadine
lmao

>>17502655
For what purpose?

I know this is supposed to showcase retards being retards at cooking, but some of these genuinely make me weep for the future of humanity, knowing that a non-insignificant portion of their genes have accidentally been allowed into the pool.

>>17502694
This thread isn't just for retards.

>>17502694
Here's a good one, Gordon Ramsey could learn to make a proper grilled cheese anyway

>>17502405
>Obey

>>17502373
I always love this video. Anytime i make a drink i quote it

>>17502710
Unironically one of the grossest things I've seen on /ck/ in the past 7 years.

I bet you thought those were going to be a huge hit. Then nobody replied.

>>17502555

>>17502710
I thought the yellow shit was just really ripe mango at first, that might've been good. This is a travesty though

>>17502737
what's the white and brown shit?

>>17503105
>>17503111
>>17503121
>>17503130
>>17503137
>>17503146
That looks like a good time kek

>>17503181
YIU

>anon desperately replies to all of them in a panic after realizing what happened

>>17502684
Chinese haute cuisine, and to some extent the fine dining of other asian countries, is based heavily on how much effort it took to create the thing rather than taste.

>>17503260
Чopний Speedo ... BИ?

>>17502360
>cut it into two halves
What kind of black magic will I need for this?
>using a knife
....thanks

>>17502348
is this really necessary
isnt this a drink commercial

>>17503201
Idk, why are you asking me

>>17503201
bread

>>17503130
>>17503137
thats pretty sad :( they go to war for a fuckhead and they have to steal food like rats. why dont putin just feed them?
wtf are they fighting for?
if i was russian soldier i would go to ukranian side and say fuck you to putin

>>17502659
Based

>>17503855
putin saved russia in the 90s and is doing so again, you child
propaganda videos showing russian soldiers taking sausage and chocolate as spoils of war don't change that

>>17502313
S N O T T A

>>17502263
>those fucking reaction shots
He's taking apart a chicken ffs, not bringing the damn thing back to life.

>>17502373
I wouldn't mind tasting her "lush lagoon" if you know what I mean

>>17503181
Bit eager there tourist sama.

>>17504004
lol

>>17503181
>>17503260
>>17504004
lmao, crowing about replies ten minutes after a post on a /ck/ webm thread. You sure showed him you salty vatnik fuck.

>>17504228
Almost enough salt for one Hungry Man TV dinner.

>>17503105
this reminds me of the 9/11 passports

>>17502373
I think what she's referring to is the time it would take for two shots to come out of a pourer. It's a guesstimate because it doesn't need to be exact and two actual shots is never going to be enough.

>>17502360
That is revolting. The way that cold, plastic slice of cheese falls down at the end.

>>17502375
>>17502423
>>17502454
Bitches got nothing on my 12 hour slow cooked scrambled eggs.

>>17502454
only a too retarded to be successfully pretentious retard would say such a retarded thing

>>17503472
the jig used a fucking butter knife to cut it too, might as well have ripped it in half with its big gorilla hands.

>>17504377
only a retarded faggot would make a post as stupid as yours

>>17503292
To be fair that's a mayor aspect of fine dining in the west and with the whole retarded "made for instagram" fine dining trend it's only getting worse.

>>17502360
What a sad sandwich.

>>17504590
I love excessive amounts of garlic but jesus christ.

>>17502710
Foul.

>>17503855
Stealing food just means that they want some cheetos and junk food. Not that they aren't getting fed.

>>17503292
I have never had, but also never heard good things about shark fin for example.

>>17504590
>>17504603

how the fuck do you even eat this? Like what are the mechanichs here seeing how fucking small the bowl compared to how loaded up it is.

>>17504273
We know that, it's funny because that's obviously not two shots

>>17502555
I think It's gonna have to be amputated

>>17502659
Lult

>>17502360
>vegetable sandwich

>>17503105
I'm gonna be honest but this is surprisingly tame for Russian pillaging

>>17504592
Somebody's gonna eat that?

>>17504637
That looks amazing, but the tomatoes looked so dry and sad

>>17504687
Gordon Ramsay?

>>17504590
this looks like the chain ramen jiro. Their schtick is mountains of food(like the bean sprouts in the middle) and huge pieces of pork that they slice up for you and put it all on the bowl. Its usually $10-15 and they have locations all over tokyo, so its very available. Students and sweaty men tend to like them a lot.

>>17504690
Lmao what a waste of fucking time. Of course he doesn't eat it after.

>>17504701
I had it one time, and yes it was disgusting.

>>17504711
Nailed it, the original video even calls it Jiro style. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae_cPCzMLno

>>17502705
That man's roughly as large as a barge

>>17503246
That big titty girl running the register

>>17504795
Has anyone ever fell into one of those ovens

>>17504809
No I know how someone from Chicago feels when they see an italian try to make pizza.

>>17503246
I went to Smarkand a few years ago in winter. Some lady sold chebureki from her kitchen and she made every single one by hand and served them wth some homemade spicy sauce.
Shit was excellent

>>17504795
Huh, I always wondered what's with the shape of those breads
Pretty cool

>>17503197
mango with fish does sound kinda good, not a bad idea, might try it sometime

>>17503105
bet this sit is fake

>>17504808
yes

>>17502313
The NPCs in the background gesticulating as if they're actually learning something makes me homicidal.

>>17502710
>Here's your oozy nacho avocado slop encased in dry, overcooked fish.

>>17502555
shes so hilariously inept at cooking i dont even get angry its just a spectacle

>>17502710
>Fish and cheese.
I like my fish kosher, please.

>>17503855
The Russian army has so many troubles with logistics. They haven't really conducted an operation this large probably since Afghanistan in the 1980s.

>>17502263
>>17502313
I can't believe the drones who actually watch this shit.

>>17506516
yummy

>>17503351
nonsense the only ukrainian beach food is corn on the cob and beer. i don't know why but it's the best fucking beach snack ever invented.

>>17502263

>>17502360
This is when you just stop looking both ways before crossing the street

>>17502555
Lol wtf is this

>>17505798
mango salsa is a very common ingredient in fish tacos. It's super good flavour combination.

>>17502348
i have watched all these videos... and they are shot like old school porn even the music is like it lol

>>17503302
I miss actual food in the MH games, now it's just dango, how the fuck those subhumans survive only of that shit?

>>17502360
who the FUCK shit like this?

>>17502313
>>17502263
i feel like they gave all those people ecstacy, just look at their faces

>>17502526
it's Monin

>>17502375
I don't get it, it's how my mom made it for me growing up and I wouldn't have it any other way
She'd usually stir it a bit longer so that it'd firm up a bit more though

>>17503181
Do you think people only post here just to get (You)s?

>>17503216
>>17503105
>>17503111
>>17503121
>>17503130
>>17503137
>>17503146
there was looting in these cities before the Russians even got there

I got a new PC and my ja/ck/ folder is gone. Help me make a new one bros

>>17503351
is that considered a beach in Europe? i didn't know how good us Florida boys had it.
Where is the rest of the sand?

>>17504808
no

>>17507673
I wouldn't have it any other way from her either, she really knows how to firm me up a bit with a good stir

>>17507968

>>17504064
How strong is that liquor

>>17508007
Reminds me of NC beaches. Fucker was just rocks and dirt. I'll never give up my snow white sands.

>>17507825
wow amazing

>>17502449
>Hennessy so special
Branding. And the retarded niggers that fall for it.

>>17502360
>specifically eggless mayo
>next ingredient is honey
lol

>>17505811
Well duh, of course it is. (((evidence))) like that don't just happens to get left behind.
The epaullets could happen if the stars aligned, but the jacket and whatever other materiel? Fat chance, they were not in a hurry. Otherwise the leftover food wouldn't have been so neatly arranged for the camera.

>>17504795
Fairly dry dough.
Wonder what the crumb is like.

>>17507857
Finally, the answer to >>17477977 that we needed all along.

>>17508007
Doesn't apply to Ukraine, but your picture confused me because I couldn't see how that would last with tides. Turns out you guys have like a three foot tidal range rather than the fifteen foot range around here on bong island.

>>17502263
Blindfolds that don't go under the nose should not be allowed to be called blindfolds.

>>17508850
Doesn't look like it rises much, seems nice and chewy. https://youtu.be/c1y5K73cMGQ?t=837

>>17508890
yea the farther north you get the more the tide goes in and out, that being said when you get to the FL keys where the water is only waist deep for miles when the tide is going out it can rip you off your feet and tumble you along the bottom

>>17509051
Damn, that place looks cool. From the thumbnail I thought you'd just posted a picture of a wave breaking.

>>17504808
maybe

>>17505837
>>17508023
>>17509106

>>17506516
i love blue steak, but at that thickness you can fuck right off.

>>17502360
>black hands

No thank you

>>17502710
Imagine thinking this was a good idea.

>>17502263
I'm not a Ramsay hater but this one is pretty lame. I had to do chickens like this for only maybe 3 weeks and even I could do it blindfolded.

>>17503351
dude looks like a bloater zombie from SoD2. Fat people are so disgusting

>>17503105
>i'll simply leave behind my unit insignia and country flag at the scene of the crime

>>17504808
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY5-VR0Kyds

>>17502373
I've said it before and I'll say it again. She's describing the drink for 1 but making the drink for 2. Sandra Lee did nothing wrong.

>>17509476
Your theory is compelling, but looking at the written recipe it says the yield is two servings for two shots.

>>17502405
shrimp nachos??

>>17507673
No curd scrambled eggs = doesn't love you.

>>17507868
>>17507871
What is it with this sudden influx of ukraine street food webms here? Glowniggers, shoo shoo, your propaganda isnt welcome here

>>17502659
kek

>>17503201
The brown stuff looks like wholegrain mustard, white could be anything from mayo to sourcream

>>17509422
yet people eat this shit up all the time

>>17509797
>two videos of food is propaganda
meds

>>17506516
Do they throw the steaks back on the griddle once they are sliced?

>>17509851
It seems probable

>>17502360
Probably not bad if crisper lettuce and good cheese

>>17509851
Yeah, ends up like this. https://youtu.be/Wegonqjhbpo?t=313

>>17509847
Multiple threads, many different videos, posted now, never been posted before when webm threads are notorious revolving doors for videos. "Muh HECKIN ukraine street food! Get that yucky Putin amirite fellow posters!"

Glownigger BEGONE

>>17509913
Yeah, surely no one who makes webms would pick something topical. I mean you could at least bitch about the looting videos upthread if you wanted to look marginally sensible, but have fun going utterly fucking insane over the "sudden influx" of a waffle and some sort of barbecue.

>>17509938
If I am presented with something I don't like or agree with, it's shills and people who are paid to do so. Everything that happens in the world is a conspiracy against me. I am the center of the world

>>17509938
>/ck/
>topical
thats not how this board works newfren, if somebody posts about food it is customary to give them a (you) talking about something completely unrelated to their post.
Do you trade crypto?

>>17502659
Who's this? I want to hear the sounds of this failure.

>>17502737
that's fuckin savage

>>17502555
This makes ja/ck/ look like a fucking Michelin star owner. FFS

>>17502360
>>17502555
>>17502705
>>17504592
>>17507244
>>17509057

>>17502710
what is it about cheese and fish where they just automatically sound horrid together

>>17511135

>>17511135
>>17511194
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrJ3xdxy-2Y

if you want a depressing glimpse into this guys life

>>17511224
You think being a 6'2" chad who is famous and makes a living breaking world records is depressing?

>>17511243
I dunno, he doesn't seem very happy in this. The money isn't THAT good. He just moved back into his parents home and is suffering from physical health issues and mental health issues. No friends, no girlfriend, in his 30's, no real future besides abusing his body online chasing youtube views.

>>17511194
What the fuck

>>17511243
I don't know, anon, I've been to some low points in my life but I've never eaten a fucking lightbulb

>>17503105
>The russian insignia leaves no doubts who did it
Fake as fuck

>>17511558
nobody has. it's made of sugar

>>17511697
You can eat glass, it's just horrible for your teeth. There is a special technique to it, you have to oscillate your teeth horizontally instead of chewing like normal and it breaks the glass down basically into sand. You can get minor cuts on your cheeks/throat but nothing life threatening. It's a pretty low level magic trick, plenty of magicians do it. Again, it's just really really bad for your teeth.

>>17511674
>>17509422
Not the unfinished sausage left behind?

>>17511674
>>17511725
dang you guys are totally smart unlike those heckin normies! so different and unique

>>17502313
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgBA0iCSfa4

>>17509797
have you been living under a rock? there is a war in ukraine so its all anyone thinks about

>>17511711
The powder inside the light bulb is also toxic

>>17503105
Why would anyone leave his insignia AND HIS FUCKING PANTS ?

>>17511224
>>17511243
>>17511463
there's an old video that I can't find of him completely wasted chugging a bottle of vodka I think, he seemed a mess lmao

>>17511137
O'wight darlin' fancy a gobble on ma chuheesy fush?

>>17504650
Home pours from the bottle without a measure are inevitably large as fuck, especially after you've had one or two. I should be able to get 15 doubles out of a bottle and it is always like 6 drinks later 2/3rds of the bottle is gone. I actually weigh my mixed drinks these days because I find it easier to sit a glass or shaker on the scales rather than use a jigger. It does mean they come out strong anyway because spirits weigh less than water, fruit juices weigh more than water etc and over time my preferred recipes have been made a bit stronger than needed.

>>17506522
>>17505865
>>17512251
Seethe harder mutts, you know you WILL kneel to your masters.

>>17511065
>pulled pork
uses jerk chicken and then it just get worse from there

>>17503111
Before retards say this is proof the army is malnourished, looting is a longtime honored war tradition. MREs and standard army food is shit compared to what you can find in a market

>>17512053
looks tasty

>>17504808
We will never know

>>17507814
Did he drink the same beer for 6 hours

>>17507845
Incredibly wasteful

>>17512812
because they cook'em and eat'em?

>>17511243
>fame=happiness
how the fuck are there still people who believe this retarded meme?

>>17504592
>enzymes break down muscle tissue
>becomes more tender
mmmm... pre digested steak

>>17508890
3 feet? damn i thought everywhere was like the uk where the beach can straight up dissapear for hours at a time

>>17502348
>yuzu
its cum right?

>>17504625
very carefully

>>17513277
Same. Turns out tides are all fucky and it varies a ton, spent an hour reading about this shit last night.

>>17502684
>For what purpose?
To turn produce worth of 15$ into something you can sell for 150$, propably more.

>>17502313
yes this is literally from his masterclass

>>17502555
what the fuck

>>17502684
kino

>>17502710
DELETE THIS
what the fuck

>>17504603
>>17504625
the garlic is probably marinated / pickled to reduce the strong taste... I hope

>>17513763
>metal utensils on non-stick cookware
Retards in chief.

>>17511735
Kill yourself white trash retard

>>17502348
>he uses a parisian shaker

>>17504592
thats the ugliest sear i have ever seen.

>>17512053
He looks tasty

>>17509371
My thoughts exactly

>>17513878
npc having his walls torn down

>>17504377
its literally a marco pierre white quote

>>17509057
how to waste a week's worth of snacks for one shitty meme.
No wonder they are in jail.

>>17508381
When you are an 85lb Asian woman an overripe orange could get you plastered

>>17512043
Seriously who eats vaguely seasoned fat ?

>>17502313
I've done this and they actually come out 10x better

>>17511048
What a rotten way to die

>>17514823
10x better than what ? Uncooked eggs ?

>>17503302
just played this game for the first time recently and got starving hungry every time i play that shit

>>17502705
Crunchy. He get salmonella from it?

>>17512307
https://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/everclear-chug-190-proof-95-abv/81784405/

>>17507868
>bubble waffle
>unusual
what

>>17504809
Umami

>>17513737
I dunno man. I've been to plenty of Japanese ramenya's and the minced garlic is always just minced garlic.

>>17511135
>puking at a beautiful dry aged ribeye
ngmi

>>17515110
No, cause he's a man.

>>17504590
Why do chinks eat so much rotten vagina?

>>17502655
That's pretty fuckin' neat

>>17503855
Because most of the world stupidly carries the same fear of Russia as they did doing the Cold War. Since then it's pretty much a shit hole where all the money is funneled to oligarchs and all they provide to the world is a bit of oil, vodka, and counterstrike players.

>>17503146
The horrors of war. Donate now!

>>17506516
Needs some A1, but that looks great.

>>17513563
The Bay of Fundy in Canada has a 50ft tidal range.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP0cpXpw8yk

>>17504590
Imagine the smell of your entire body after one or two of these

>>17512282
Is that why there is so much Russian street food now too? And why we had so many Iraq and Afghanistan and Syria webms? This is pretty obvious shilling, and it's all over 4chan.

>>17513563
>spent an hour reading about this shit last night.
Nice, tides are important.
Pic is the difference between knowing about tides and not.

>>17502263
How is that even hard, he's touching the chicken so of course he knows where to cut it. I think any El pollo loco cook can do that.

>>17511048
Poor guy probably thought it was just bubbling water. RIP

at 10 seconds the woman opens a bag of oil by melting the plastic against the pan
https://youtu.be/YEiigKMPrHI?t=11

i cant decide if this is worth making a webm of or not

>>17502360
this revolting video single handedly means black people can never complain about white people cooking ever again.

>>17502779
Same, but she's not wrong. You want a real party pour away.

>>17502719
I can't watch this one any more. I saw it a few times and I can't any more.

>>17504590
the most disgusting thing about this one is all those sprouts.

>>17508582

>>17516481
What the actual FUCK is that photo? How do they see what the bee is thinking??????????????

>>17516506
Just B.E. yourself.

The E stands for entirely
The B stands for B.E.

>>17515999
I live on stew made with obscene amounts of garlic and comino, and I can assure you that I smell wonderful, I'm like a walking Mexican restaurant

>>17516664
Lmao how?

>>17516624
>B.E. yourself
>B.E. entirely yourself
>B.E. entirely, entirely yourself
>B.E. entirely, entirely, entirely yourself
>B.E. entirely, entirely, entirely, entirely yourself
>B.E. entirely, entirely, entirely, entirely, entirely yourself
>B.E. (...) yourself
Thank you, wise bee. Through your madness I have found courage and affirmation in my being. I truly am myself.

>>17516674
But if there are infinite layers for to bee yourself then mustn't you be only a shadow at any one time, forever yearning for wholeness, remembering life as it was in another world of timeless, endless identity, a nostalgia for infinity, your dreams buried at the bottom of endless recursion. O to bee or not to bee, but wherefore art my honey bee and how might I free thee

>>17516696
Germany was a mistake...

>>17516659
Leidenfrost if anyone is wondering.

>>17513312
Yuzu is a Japanese citrus. Basically tastes like fruit from decorative citrus trees.

>>17502375
They are both overrated ''fake it till you make it'' chef.

>>17513183
All that glitters is gold to dumbasses.

>>17514092
>>17504701
>>17511135
>>17513244
>>17514092
Learn about dry aging, retards.

>>17511735
Eat a DICK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyDNhewPaAU

>>17516329
the cheese is fridge temp, what a nigger

>>17516862
Big Kahuna

>>17510057
>trade crypto
You mean comprendo? Capeesh?

>>17502313
why does this webm make everyone so mad? is it the on-off-on-off shit?

>>17508381
It's probably sake, so anywhere between 8-20%
Most likely 10-12%

>>17507244
lole

>>17516640
The magnesium was a nice touch.

>>17502450
I hate this shit. Having been a lab worker this rustles my jimmies so much.

>>17504603
Fuck he just keeps going

>>17516690
And the award for the most stupid way to cook an egg goes to....... Africaaa!
No wonder these cunts are starving.

>>17516117
>The critical key to Duarte Pacheco's defense was the tides. Although forced to defend two passages, he realized he did not have to defend them both at once. Palignar ford could only be crossed on foot at low tide, during which time the water at Palurte is too shallow for the Zamorin's ships and ferry boats to move. At high tide, boats could move at Palurte, but the infantry could not ford at Palignar. So Duarte Pacheco calculated he could shuttle himself and some of his forces back and forth via shallow launches between the two passes – reinforcing the Nairs and bateis at Palignar in low tide, and then slip down the strait to help the caravels at Palurte at high tide.
Good read, thanks

>>17516720
west california versus east california

>>17514217
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Bh4a5dL1A