/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18115778
Don't do this OP it makes mustard gas

>>18115778
I watched a video on this. old ass microwaves used to be a luxury product with high quality sensors and microwave emitters and shit, and the popcorn button actually worked. when microwaves became a cheap shit trash appliance the button stuck around even though it just burnt your food.

So you’re gonna be a little bitch and cry online because you’re a little who can’t decide if you should be the bag’s little bitch and do what it says or the microwave’s little bitch and do what it says?
Damn what a little bitch you are.

microwave popcorn sucks anyway.
just get a popcorn maker and a bulk bag of kernels.

>>18115792
>high quality sensors and microwave emitters and shit,

Source: your ass

I think its for kernels, not bags. If you have a bag, you know exactly how long, so why use the popcorn button

>>18115811
I know what video that guy is referring to but I won't give you a source on it unless you sincerely apologise to him.

I use the popcorn button and it's perfect every time.

>>18115806
>dude just grow your own corn

>>18115778
over the oven vent/microwave in 3 of my houses. The button work spot on perfectly at all 3. It literally beeps when the popping slows to 2 seconds between pops.
Just stand there and see if your machine is quality like that. If poppoing stops and it doensn't stop too. Pull it out, duh.

>>18115778
Doing it creates another universe in another dimension where people are popcorn an popcorn are people. And people will get microwaved and eaten by giant pop corns - its quite brutal. Is that what you want?

>>18115887
...sometimes the popcorn fucks the people in the butt

>>18115806
Shut the fuck up. Your popcorn is shit.

>>18115778
loyality litmus test

>>18115811
>>18115866
You talking about videos like this? Boomers got the best shit then newer generations got Chinese products with buttons that do nothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiS27feX8o0&t=604s

>>18115792
I'm very sorry for claiming you didn't have a source. I'm sure that you're correct.
>>18115866
can I get the video please?

>>18115880
I'd love to. Specifically, baby varieties. I love them tiny little shits.
But back to bags of popping kernels, it really is quite simple to pop them on the hob. Been doing it since before I aged into the double digits. If a literal child can do it easily, I see no reason why a grown ass man can't do the same. Unless, of course, he's mentally deficient.

>>18115778
some microwaves have a steam sensor when you press the popcorn button it cooks on high until it senses steam then starts a count down that most of the time ends before the popcorn burns.

some microwaves just run for 5 minutes when you press the popcorn button.

either way don't walk away while it's cooking, listen and when the popping is down to about once every 5 or 10 seconds turn it off.

>>18115949
Once every second is plenty
If you try and wait till nothing is popping for 5 seconds then you’ve already way overcooked your popcorn.

>>18115928
>>18115927

Why don't microwaves have an egg button?

>>18115887
>Doing it creates another universe in another dimension where people are popcorn an popcorn are people

This is very illogical.

>>18115778
Not all popcorn bags are the same size, not all microwaves have the same power, not all microwaves have an adjustable popcorn setting.
The bag assumes the worst case scenario that, the microwave is too powerful for the small amount of popcorn in the bag, and you cannot adjust the power.
Most microwaves these days should have more than one setting when you press the popcorn button that can cook any bag just fine, but it's not really worth it at that point, if you're pressing multiple buttons, just press 2 minutes and it will also cook fine.

>>18115778
I thought that was a picture of a Klondike bar on the left, and then I started thinking, is there a Klondike button on the microwave. A button that cooks a Klondike bar just right to where the vanilla ice cream was super creamy, and the chocolate was a bit soft but still some crunch. Pic unrelated.

any Super Formula stream yet?

>>18115778
The popcorn button is not for bagged popcorn. It's for popcorn packaged like this

>>18116655
aren't you supposed to avoid using aluminum foil or containers in the microwave?

>>18115785
i like this joke

>>18115778
If the bag told you to get in a shootout with police would you do it?

>>18115800
>>18115811
>>18115792
Old ass microwaves emitters that emit microwaves and shit through it. Well, not this one. This one’s more like the size of a microwave and has an ass in it too. It’s called the ass microwave, and is the new invention of an Australian professor who’s determined to cure a long-standing problem: how to stop people from farting while they’re eating their takeout dinner in a microwave. Professor Shreg Unduncanuncuckable of Australnia’s REEMIT University explains that when you’re in the kitchen eating your dinner, a fart sounds, and your food smells like shit, and when you fart again, your food smells like more shit and you may not like it. Well, not him. He wants to figure out how to keep your food from farting in your face and how to prevent your food from farting at all. He says that for a long time people have been using ass microwave to stop cats from peeing in their apartments. But when he realized how he could use this device in a microwave, he decided to start making butt mics for people. They are also shaped like an ass, so people will be comfortable using them too. Yes, you just stick your food into your ass microwave and you don’t have to fart. But when you take the food out, it’ll be like you just cooked it yourself. So don’t worry about getting hungry again. You’re free to fart whenever you want because that is your right as a human being, to fart whenever you want.

>>18117654
>>18115800
>>18115811
>>18115792
And if you just fart, that’s not a fart, it’s called farting and you’ll get shit on your ass. Well actually I watched a better video on this. It was about a newer version of this same luxury product with even higher quality sensors that can detect how badly everyone in the office wiped. When microwaves became a cheap shit trash appliance the button stuck around even though it just burnt your food, but now it just burns your ass and your whole house smells like burnt ass for free but you end up paying the price when the toilet juggling fart bouncing cockroaches move into your house. Damn what a little bitch you are. microwave popcorn sucks anyway. just get a popcorn maker and a bulk bave emitters and shit, Source: your ass that you will eat more and more of and shit and fart from.
“We did a whole study on this. They got really upset that we gave the people an ass. They took the microwaves apart and saw it and went, ‘Oh, no, this will make us look bad.'” —The ass-mouthed man who makes better microwaves.
(This was a textsynth AI generated parody of the thread and I hope everyone enjoys it)

>>18117654
>>18117657
I hope this becomes a meme where all /ck/ and even /fit/ threads have a few anons per thread posting AI memes

>>18115778
It just works. Don't listen to the bag.

Man i miss my 80s sharp microwave. it cooked everything perfectly. my current one either leaves food cold or burns it.

>>18115927
The tradeoff is that a microwave in 1965 cost the modern day equivalent of $7000. There’s a reason why most people didn’t have one

>>18115778
Works on my machine :^)

>>18115792
I found you shillfag, go back.

jap microwaves have a milk button

>>18118229
when is this guy gonna troon out

1986 Tappan Spacesaver, had it in a college apartment. Every button worked perfectly, including popcorn. Best microwave I ever used, even though I'm sure it was bottom of the barrel trash in the 80s.

>>18118247

>>18115785
TRUE--Strangely...

>>18116655
>Checked
Trip Dubbs confirms--for hilarity.

>>18118847
not him but he's literally becoming faggier by the hour, he's just mere steps away from AGP.

>>18118600
>Every button worked perfectly,
all 3 of them?!

>>18115778
It's actually for diapers

>>18115778
Do it and report back.

>>18119222
why is the master race like this?

>>18117857
Fucker that model was from 1997, not the 60's. It's not 7000 USD today. Just a quick google search shows that the cheaper microwaves hovered around 100 USD which translates to around 180 now, and the most expensive ones translate to 360 USD now.

>>18116715
They use flat or curved pieces of metal to brown microwavable pastries and things. A spoon will just get super fucking hot the microwave, as will a flat piece of metal. Something with a lot of wrinkles, enjoy your energy arcing everywhere. I don't understand the science, just the hilarity. College students have used microwaves for all sorts of non-food stuff.

>>18119222
>Peach Truck refrigerator magnet
That takes me back

>>18119079
What does this have to do with microwaves, food or cooking? Take your meds and go back to where you came from.

>>18116655

>>18115778
The popcorn button on my microwave doesn't start popping the corn until there's 10 seconds left on the timer. Fucking useless.