/ck/ - Food & Cooking

i buy all my groceries at 7/11

>>18614838
Are young people so socially inept they can't just say "excuse me"?

>>18614860
People terrify me.

>>18614838
>Put some stuff on bottom rack of cart. Legitimately forget about it
>cashier and store doesn’t notice either
>realize this when in parking lot
>mfw I just keep walking

I was carrying my infant when I was threatened with shooting by a mentally ill black Caribbean immigrant in the cold cuts aisle

>>18614864
i thought i was a subconscious klepto at one point for this
then i realized i have normal responsibilities and other more important things to worry about
and everyone else does too

>>18614865
You did mag dump his ass right then and there right? Now his ass is a cold cut.

>>18614865
>>18614865
anon that just the plot to captain philips

>>18614860
Socialization has been so minimalized in our society that people can't handle any type of confrontation anymore. It's just how things are right now.

>>18614881
no, I reported it to the police. If I was armed, I certainly would have. I don't have my concealed carry permit.

Apparently he had started more fights with others in the store and in the parking lot. I'm pretty sure they arrested him, he actually got in a physical altercation with another shopper.

>>18614885
its because at any moment you can lose your social standing or be arrested for making a scene there's no safety net of society
nobody will defend you or hold you back in a fight
and idiots take this as a free pass to taunt and provoke others more than ever
thats just how it is these days

>>18614893
Free men don’t need permission. That being said I obey all local state and federal law. I also carry a tazer pulse and pepper spray/single shot pepperball launcher when a harsh word or a gun won’t work.

>walking down the frozen aisle for some Tyson Anytizers BBQ flavor
>out of nowhere I hear it
>hooting and whooping
>I try to run but there's nowhere to go
>grocery store jester yanks my sweatpants down and spanks my ass red
>he cartwheels away laughing
>try to gather my composure
>Walmart guard girl smirks and points at me
>cry at the self checkout when debit card is declined
>run away

>>18614860
This website has always been a haven for the socially maladjusted of all ages so shut up or fuck off.

>>18614904
>trip on pants
>try to get up and run away again
>trip again
>fall one more time
>burst into treats

>>18614912
>Even the store sissy hypno femboy trap was laughing

>walking through produce, near the flowers and balloons
>employee overinflates balloon
>it bursts, producing loud shockwave
>think it's a gunshot
>practically hit the dirt
>get up, old man pointing and laughing at me

>>18614860
>'Excuse me' as I reach in for a can of deenz
>Middle aged white woman scoffs and her friend berates me loudly enough for an employee to ask me to leave them alone

>>18614929

Got into a fist fight with 3 younger black teens. Talking 13-14 or so. Workers kicked them out and I went about my business then a mom and a hot ass sister came in and the sister bitched me out while the mom kind of agreed that they were being retards and deserved to get out in check.

>>18614955
Whose sister??

>>18614985
Da sistah from da hood

>>18614864
>I'm the cool guy
I honestly just take something every time I use self check out. Always something small enough that if I get stopped I can feign ignorance and pay for it. Usually shit like a sandwich or bottled drink, I did get away with two 15lb bundles of fire wood under my cart once because they didn't bother to ask me at self checkout if I scanned them

If this happened to me I'd just walk out of the supermarket and come back at midnight just before closing.

>>18614904
>>18614912
>>18614923

>>18614838
This is a bit from the last Louis CK special but removing the part where the person taking too long to look at bananas is an old black woman and there's a neurotic jew waiting behind her

>>18614930
>'Excuse me' as I reach in for a can of deenz
>Middle aged white woman scoffs and her friend berates me loudly enough for an employee to ask me to leave
Would've been twice as funny

>>18614930
This reminds me of the time I was in line at the store.
>Standing in line with wireless headphones in when one falls out
>reach down to pick it up and an older woman goes to get in line behind me
>"You can go ahead of me Miss, I have to grab my ear bud."
>Woman goes ahead of me, and I stand back up and wipe my earbud off when the old woman turns around
>"UM, YOU'RE STANDING REALLY CLOSE TO ME SIR, CAN YOU MOVE BACK A FEW STEPS?"
>Give her a blank stare and out my earbuds back in and remain in the same spot I was in before I let her go ahead
>She becomes visibly annoyed and starts huffing/pouting and makes it a point to stand right on the ass of the person ahead of her and shoot me looks over her shoulder until she checks out
I honestly got a chuckle out of it because it was so unexpected

>>18614838
im sure i have more but one happened recently. older lady asked me to help her grab something off the top of one of the shelves and when i did she told me thanks and that i reminded her of her grandson and gave me some candy. nothing special but i also ran into her again before i left and it was just really nice to smile and say take care to her

>>18614838

>at the end of checking out
>need to scan under a 24 pack of 750ml water bottles
>arms shaking as i struggle to sandwich it back in to the cart
>hear "i'll take care of this, son"
>70 year old retired grocery bagger looks at me with tired eyes, biceps flaring under his uniform
>he takes the 24 pack and swiftly lugs it under the cart like an empty backpack
>he says nothing and continues bagging
>i look at the cashier in quiet desperation but she looks away
>old man jenkens just DYEL me

>>18615068
I’m tall and I have people ask me to reach stuff once in awhile. Probably the only thing I like about my body tho.

>keep running into the same person while shopping in the store
Get the fuck off my route bitch I will fight you if we meet in the toiletry aisle.

>>18614838
>Two lines at the grocery store
>KitKats are 2 for 1
>Really want that KitKat because I only buy candy at a discount
>KitKats only stoked in the other line
>I'm next
>Other line has someone hogging all the space
>Cashier runs all my shit
>Other person still hogging all the KitKat space so I can't grab it

>>18615017
For me, it's throwing random shit into my produce bags and ringing it up with my fruit. As long as I don't need someone to come over they don't know and don't ask questions

>>18614930
>he has to fabricate nightmare scenarios that would never happen to justify his social retardation

>>18614838
I want a three way with the lamb and cat.

>>18614838
>That comic
Who does this shit? I just wait, standing around or just ask if I could grab something real quick.

>>18615094
Meet in condom aisle, activate bedroom eyes and/or penis

>>18615146
thats because youre a human and not a cat, sheep, or babboon

>>18615174
He might be baboon

>>18615204
Based

I think the author draw porns of the cat mom

Sexo

>>18614838
this is just a meme comic i never think like this at the grocery store. although, i have a bad story about being lost at the grocery store when i was a kid. i got separated from my foster mom. i forget how. i remember being alone in an aisle. that was extremely sad.

>>18614898
touch grass holy shit

>>18614860
>Are young people so socially inept they can't just say "excuse me"?
Yes. A few days ago I was searching for something in a drug store, blocking the opposite shelf, and two zoomergirls just stand next to me so I figured they were doing the same. When Ieft like a minute later they immediately turned to where I was standing and one was like FINALLY!!1. They were fucking waiting for me to move instead of just asking, while pretending they were not. By standing right next to me with their backs toward where they wanted to go. Utterly ridiculous. Also today when I was riding home I overhead some kid talking and he said DIGGA 2-3 times per sentence. It was truly bizarre.

>>18615532
He has a point, I saw someone get beat up and it's exactly like the liveleak videos

>>18614860
i just reach over people with my stinky un deodorized armpits to grab my stuff, making people flee in terror.

When this happened
https://youtu.be/E3x6oOfNwq4

>>18614865
Guy sounds based, maybe your baby was annoying him.

>>18614838
>walk into store
>see femoid
>day ruined

>>18614930
>Ope, just gonna reach passed ya real quick

>>18614860
Personally I'll just stand there and stare at you until you move

>picking up beer at superstore
>60 year old woman standing still on the side of the aisle
>walk past her to get to the beer fridge 10 ft down
>loudly says "that was rude" in a cunty tone
>look at her confused
>"yeah i was talking to you, that was rude"
>what was rude?
>"i was ahead of you, and you walked ahead of me, that's really rude"
>and now i'm ahead of you dipshit, you were standing there, i stepped around you to get to where i'm going, it's a fucking grocery store, don't need to be a cunt about it"
>flabbergasted by my confrontation, doesn't say shit
>follows behind me for the rest of my shopping
>gets in line behind me to check out
>make smalltalk with the cashier, have a laugh because he can't legally check out alcohol, calls supervisor
>woman calls him over to her after he checks me out
>presumably bitches about our interaction, i just hear her get loudly huffy while i walk out
was pretty weirded out by her following me but absolutely busted my ass laughing in the car after, just such a completely normal behavior for her to get upset over

>go to store
>out of produce i wanted
>make substitution
im a normal person so weird things dont happen to me

>>18615851
In the Olden Days you were supposed to excuse yourself while walking in front of someone looking for something
>Still based though

>>18615941
i'm quite polite and always toss a 'pardon me', to emphasize how far away i was, i'm talking 3-4 feet to her left and no one was in front of her for 10ft on the side of the aisle she was on, didn't warrant saying it imo, was just absurd

>>18615068
Grannies are the best.
>At the pharmacy to pick up my diet meth for the month.
>Granny with a walker at the window, looking uncomfortable. Pharmacist is on the phone.
>Granny notices me walk up.
>"Excuse me sir, do you happen to know where they keep the pill cutters?"
>"I'm sorry ma'am, I have no idea."
>"Ooooh... Drat. I just had my hip replaced, but I don't need those big horse pills... I oughta just go find them, he's been on the phone 10 minutes now. But if he gets off and I lose my spot, I'm going to be so mad."
>Glance around, dude is DEEP in conversation, no one else in the store.
>"Tell you what, ma'am, if you've been waiting long I'm sure I've certainly got time to kill. I'll go take a look, see if I can't find them for you."
>"Oh, you don't have to-"
>Already ten steps away. "Nonsense, I insist."
>Zoom around the pharmacy on my fully-functioning legs, eventually find a little side display with just one pill cutter left.
>Take my spoils back to the granny, dude is STILL on the phone. "You've got good luck, I got the last one for you."
>"Oh, thank you, sir. You're an absolute angel."
>We shoot the shit a while, pharmacist finally gets his shit together and gets granny her pills.
>As she walks past me on her way out, she pats my arm and thanks me again.
That was almost a month ago and I'm still riding that high.

>>18614929
jokes on them
if it was a gunshot you'd be alive and safe

>>18616035
>so touch-starved an old lady patting your arm is a "high"
Lol

>>18616035
Did you smash? (With your "horse pill?")

>>18616056
not him but I haven't had human contact in about 15 years

>>18615941
In what fantasy world? This isn't the cafeteria line in school, kid. Stores are meant for people to move as they please.

>>18614838
>at self-checkout
>boomer woman ahead of me has a million items
>she finally finishes
>i scan my single item, pay, and get receipt while she's still bagging
>squeeze past her
>apparently this is a faux pas
>she actually calls me me "rude" to my face

I didn't know the etiquette, and now some nice old lady will forever remember me as an asshole.

>>18616080
It's the polite thing to do, faggot. Just because everyone else acts like an animal these days doesn't mean you can't behave like a man.

>>18615084
>24 pack of 750ml water bottles
So 18kgs? Holy shit dude that's pathetic

>>18616104
Maybe if you think 1950s american television shows were a reflection of reality.

>>18614838
For some reason everyone makes room for me at the grocery store ever since the masks came off.

>>18616143
I want you to look around and tell me you prefer what we have now.

>>18616156
Yeah, I prefer reality rather than thinking Leave it to Beaver or The Little Rascals were reality.

>>18616158
You know exactly what I meant, but alright, kid. Enjoy the world you create.

>>18616166
You think fictional television shows and propaganda are reality and actually think it's a bad thing to walk around a store without uttering two words to people just because you walk past them in a huge ass aisle or hallway.

>>18616169
I do.

>>18616095
She's not nice

>>18616104
What is the proper order to go through a grocery store just so I'm sure I don't accidentally walk past someone without excusing myself

>>18614860
these comics are made by some 30 year old women.

>>18614838
This comic doesn't make any sense. The sheep wouldn't have been looking at the fish to begin with if the baboon were able to access the bananas, which wasn't an issue until the cat noticed the sheep already looking at the fish.

>>18616293
They all got there are the same time or something don’t worry about it

>>18616181
>I do.

Me and a friend went to a Shaw's (New England store) when we were like 13 and for some reason, we thought asking people "would you like to know about our lord and savior Stop and Shop?" (Also a new england store) would be the funniest fuckin thing ever done. My friend runs up to this like 30 something year old man and asks him this. He is immediately punched in the fucking stomach as hard as the man could punch

Sex with milf cat lady

my trips to the supermarket don't tend to be very eventful

I hate when the store is out of peanuts.

>>18616867
I hate when that happens

>>18614838
One time I was at the grocery store doing something like in your pic waiting for Quelandria to move so I could get to the radishes. As I was watching her she lifted two cantaloupes in order to judge them. She dropped the lesser of the two on the ground with no care for where it ended up or who had to clean it up.

More closely related to the real topic of this thread, yes I would huff the cat mom's nylons.

>walking in on a crowded day, in a hurry myself
>old lady in a scooter scooting by
>quickly step in front of her with plenty of rooms while saying "excuse me"
>continue quickly walking but hear her shout "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BLIND!?" behind me
No lady, I could not see that you were blind.

Here's on from a different time, during height of 'covid:
>friend is helping me replace all the brakes of my jeep in the middle of January
>both hungry and cold, decide to make chili
>go straight to the store, covered in mud, grease, brake fluid
>burst into the store with no masks, he's open carrying a pistol and I have a huge knife in my boot for some reason
>everyone gives us a wide berth because we look like diseased wildmen
10/10 shopping trip, highly recommend dressing like a madman but not behaving like one while shopping.

>>18614838
>using gift card at Walmart
>tell them I'm paying with gift card
>cashier rings up items
>hand them gift card and they scan it as if I'm buying it
>gives error
>repeat twice
>locks cash register requiring manger
>holds up line for ten minutes

That's happened two or three times and it's why I'm grateful for self-checkout.

>>18616095
If it's a smaller self-checkout area and she has a cart full she's the bastard.
It is a problem that I've only seen a handful of stores with large self-checkout areas.

>>18615068
>>18615089
I was getting some ice cream and some woman asked me if I could reach a container that was on the top shelf and pushed back.
Would have been embarrassing if I had to get on my tip-toes or on the bottom shelf.

>>18615067
>wearing ear buds in public
kys chud

>>18616913
based

A solid piece of turd in the ice cream freezer at the ghetto 7-11

>>18614898
This is what pure, concentrated autism looks like.

>>18614903
Pic related

>>18616979
Honestly, if you're using a cart, get fucked and deal with a cashier. If it can't fit in one of those baskets, maaaybe one of those little half-carts they've got on a slow day, then you have too much shit for the self-checkout.

I feel immense shame buying my usual slop because it's all frozen shit and cheap noodles. I fear that one day I'm going to be shopping and I'm going to see someone I know and they're gonna glance at my groceries and notice I have the palette of a 10 year old.

>think cute cashier might have a crush on me
>find out she doesn't have a crush on me
Seven times now.

>>18614860
Yes. The avergae range ofnplay for a child in 1985 was 5 miles. Now it's 500 feet.

>>18615134
Sad part is that it's actually happened, white women are insane

>>18616056
>making fun of people for being socially isolated
Does that feel good?

>>18617219
Stop thinking service workers being nice to you is romance

>>18615941
I'm pushing 40 and I've never heard of this.

>>18616035
i really liked this post

>>18617219
>>18617235
It happens, most just forget to tip the cashier.

>>18614838
>be 6’4” monster
>see 60-something 4’8” woman trying to reach for some coffee flavouring syrup on top shelf
>she can’t quite reach
>Say “please, let me help you with that” and grab it for her
>She laughs and thanks me
>I crack out a line about being able to help people being one of the things that’s good about being tall
>She laughs again tells me to let her know if she can grab something off the bottom shelf so I don’t have to fold myself in half
>she smiles, pauses for a second, and asks me if I’d be interested in helping her with some things at home
>I politely decline as it’s a bit of an odd thing to ask a stranger out of the blue
>get to the parking lot and loading up my SUV when I suddenly realize what she meant
>MFW I got cruised by a short stack GMILF and didn’t get the hint

I have afew stories
>Be sick as fuck
>Only one that can drive to store for medicine
>Have to pick up bottled water too for some faggot that cant drive
>Brain has litterly shut off
>Grab a big ass pack of water and lay it on my sholder
>Grab cold medicine
>Wait in line looking half dead
>Casheir looks at me in worry
>"Ma'am are you alright?"
>'Huhn? No, im sick. Only one that can grab this'
>"O-oh"
>Bagger takes the case and tails after me to my car with it
Bless that guy, have another that pop usualy told me when he went out shoping

>Fell and hit head afew years back
>Walk with cane
>Put it in cart
>Take it out for what ever reason when paying
>Its a cheep cane that dosent stay still no matter what you do
> He knows this too well
>He sets this cane up against the counter
>He points to it and says "Now, fall over"
>It falls over
>"Least I know it wont get anywhere once it falls."
>>18617332
You just reminded me of another story pop often tells me that I now get everywhere I go since im pretty tall myself.
>hes 6'7
>Looks like if goofy was human
>somehow sneaks up behind random people just to say 'Wow, look at the giant!'
>People obviously look and ofcorse are surprised at how fucking tall he is

>>18615084
Stop eating s0y faggot

>>18615532
Go back to twitter, or whatever website that stupid phrase came from.

>>18616542
That image with its filename got me to involutarnrily snort

I travel a lot for work. Lotta deliveries in a 200 mile radius. I regularly go to the liquor aisle and just drop a bottle on the ground then walk away. Sometimes if it’s been a long day I don’t even buy anything. I just want to make someone clean up my mess.

>>18615017
I always ring up expensive bulk items as flour and organic produce as regular.

>>18617482
4chan

>>18614860
It's really weird, I'll see it happen quite regularly when I go shopping. But I've also seen the complete opposite where some boomer fuck just shoulders into me and tries to grab what I'm grabbing, no fucks given. Costco is really a great example of this. Trying to get into a costco in the morning when it first opens is WILD. I've had to actually elbow people in the fucking ribs because they tried to push past me.

>>18615537
they wanted to fuck you

>>18615537
All women avoid interacting with people they perceive as potential rapists. I can just picture you lingering there for an unnecessary period.

>>18614838
It's a zoomer/millenial problem. I'm too autistic to have it, so I just stand right next to them like a retarded creep until they move and let me grab my fucking food.

>>18617796
>I'm too autistic to have it
autists are more afraid of interactions like that than anyone lmao

>>18617799
Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm less autistic than them and have just found a way to make them uncomfortable so they move.

>>18614860
This has to be a regional thing, right? I'm in the Midwest and everyone I've encountered still uses pardon me/excuse me.

>>18614860
or the good ol' southern drawl pawdon me

>>18614838
happened last week
>EU cuck
>our shopping carts have a slit where you insert a Euro coin so you don't just leave them on the parking lot but return them if you want to have your coin back
>only kid shopping carts are available (rush hour)
>finish shopping and return cart
>mechanism on cart is broken
>try to yank coin out like a madman and get visibly upset
>kid creeps up from the back and asks me if he can have the cart
>want to tell him to fuck off but spot his mom giving me the stink eye
>decide to not bother so I leave the cart to the little shit
>as I walk past them with a frown I say "careful with the cart youngling, it has my coin."
>still want that coin back to this day

I will go up to random wagie and make him look for some obscure item that I already know where it is
Just to make him show me where they are
If I'm feeling extra bored I will ask for something I know 100% that they don't carry them
Like few years ago my Publix stop selling torberone chocolate
So I made many wagies search the entire candies aisle for them

>>18614838
The only problem I have is mexicans and their kids that block an entire isle with their 5 kids running around in circles or old boomers that walk slow and stop to randomly look around. You should have your mind made up on what you want to buy before going into a store, a mental list of things you need.

>>18618006
*aisle

>>18617876
We have Aldi in lots places in US with coin carts. People leave them out to “pay it forward” but I always keep the quarter when I return the cart

>>18618006
That's fucking stupid, if I know exactly what I need I'll just buy it online. The physical store is for moseying

>>18618029
I buy everything in cash so I dont buy groceries online, that seems stupid to me.

>>18618006
>>18618029
I hate dillydallying and try not to do it, but sometimes I walk through almost every aisle in smaller Walmarts as they have a lot of clearance items.

>>18614838
>milf in skimpy athletic outfit walks up next to me in the freezer section
>standing together for a moment, looking at the frozen vegetables
>"oh my god this frozen edamame is so good i can't get enough of it"
>surprised another human started talking to me outside of a formal interaction
>my retarded ass has never heard of edamame, for some reason i assume she's talking about wasabi
>"oh haha, you must be a fan of spicy food then"
>she just continues smiling at me
>"and it's such a great price to I just can't stop buying the stuff"
>"oh haha"
>i grab a bag of frozen green beans and walk away

>>18614838
Vaguely fits the paramaters of the thread but I figured y'all would be entertained by it
Head this from the guy I know at my local Circle K in a very quiet coastal town
>old timer is walking out after his purchase
>young buck is walking in from the outside
>old timer holds open the door, which the young man enters and passes without so much as a word
>old man says "You're welcome."
>young dude proceeds to turn around and flip out on the geezer, tossing insults and curses casually saw
>old dude pulls out a knife after enough beration, calms down after someone says they're calling the cops
This was earlier today here in southeast Texas. Crazy stuff
>>18615068
One time at Walmart, I was in the goodies aisle with the snack cakes and shit. An older fat lady passed by on a Walmart scooter and asked if I could reach for something on a high shelf for her. She said "Hey, sometimes you gotta treat yourself." Never forgotten that to this day

>>18618121
Yeah, don't bother holding the door open if you're only predating on gratitude. It's not that big a favor. Just a routine gesture.

>>18618062

>>18617853
I'm on the eastern edge of the Midwest. Around here it's just me and the geriatrics who still say excuse me. Though I've noticed it seems to vary by store. Small shops, nearly everyone is polite, even making small-talk as they pass, Meijer, most people say it, and Walmart is a fucking jungle where a 500 lb cunt will run over your foot on the scooter she doesn't need and then look pissed at you about it.

>>18616071
This kinda counts, anon.

>>18617237
>>18616080
truly sad.

>>18617876
>"careful with the cart youngling, it has my coin."
That child's name? Albert Einstein

>>18614860
covid restrictions

>>18615084
I'm sure you'll get stronger once puberty kicks in

>be shopping
>in and out real fast because I'm a man and I know what I need to cook my meals
>hear high pitched screaming
>turn around and see the supermarket jester took a cart away from a woman and is spinning it in circles like a dreidel
>there's a kid in the cart screaming
>the car is so unbalanced it starts wobbling and tipping over
>everyone looks on in horror sure that he kid is gonna get brained against the floor
>jester grabs the cart and brings it to a halt
>for one brief moment everyone is relieved that we didn't just witness a homicide
>kid pukes everywhere
>everyone laughs and takes out their phones to take selfies with the kid
>some shoppers lay down on the ground and take selfies with the puke
>kid is crying
>after paying for my shit I see the kid and mom heading for their hybrid
>the jester happens to be nearby, so I give him a silver dollar and tell him to go do it again
>his smile is gone
>his eyes hold mine own
>this is what he says to me:
>"You fool. Do you believe your money can move mountains? Do you wish you were adored by all? Do you think that because you believe in goodness you will be saved? Know that I too once believed as you do."
>then he threw my money on the ground and chased the kid and mom around the parking lot making indian battle cries

>>18615094
Kek, this kept happening on night a few years ago, old lady obviously took the same route I did except off by one aisle.
The 5th time we passed each other she joked about "popping ya one in the mouth".
I laughed because we were finally at the end of the store.

>>18616197
i love his stupid shirt

>>18616035
This seems unnecessarily long winded. Just tell the guy to get the fuck off the phone and do his job.
Everyone wins including the people who would otherwise have to wait around the next time he decided to be fireable.

>>18618889
It's a pharmacy, faggot.
Somebody might really need their meds.

>>18618896
Seems like you need some to help you comprehend such a short paragraph.

>>18618845
I don't believe you.

>>18617411
Are you some kind of backwater folky family of loony giants

>>18618889
>>18618905
>NOOOO YOU HAVE TO BE A DOUCHEBAG TO A RANDOM PHARMACIST DOING HIS JOB IT'S 4CHANNELL.ORG SLASH CEE KAY I NEED TO KEEP UP MY FAKE HARD IMAGE

>>18614858
well considering how 7/11 is in other places, I'm guessing you're in japan.

>>18618905
Him being on the phone was him doing his job. He was obviously talking to a patient about meds, it's part of what pharmacists do.

everyone talks about wanting to sex the cat mom, but i wanna sex the cat dad

Got raped in the "Gifts, party tricks, souvenirs" aisle at a Walmart in Nevada.

Raped some old Latina lady near soda fountaines at a Walmart, Baja.

>>18616867
>>18614838
Dos this cat have r34? Not asking for a friend, just because I want to cum to it.

>>18619247
Just look her up on the usual website.

>>18614838
>stroll up behind while bellowing a laugh at a pretend phone call
>Sneeze with the kind of exaggaration a drunk uncle would do
>Arm around their shoulder with roaring laughter
>point and comment and loudly applaud their choice of food
>Grab microwave dinner when they cower in fear
>Sneeze again

>>18619249
What's her name bro

>>18619261
Fran, from Litterbox Comics.

>>18619274
Thanks bro

>be me
>early 30s earthrocker
>biological cis hetero male
>on day 3 of a mini bender
>go to Whole Foods for a case of beer and some wine
>unwashed and unshaven look like complete shit
>happen to have medium length hair and medium tight jeans on
>zoomette cashier
>Ma’am, can I see your ID?
>cock my head and say “what”? in my clearly male voice
>I need to see your ID ma’am
>is this bitch serious.jpeg
>show her my ID with my MALE name on it
>seething and dilating internally
>pay up
>thanks and have a good day ma’am
>ok now this bitch is just fucking with me
>virgin walk out of store with atom bombs of seethe sounding in my head

Got a haircut and stopped wearing ball hugger fag pants within the week. Trannies are right when they say being misgendered sucks.

>>18619310
>earthrocker
What the fuck does this mean

>>18619320
>doesn't take piss showers
fuck is wrong with you

>>18619320
It's a faggot term made up by Bam Margera to describe faggots like himself. Unwashed slovenly pseudo punk rock hipsters.

>>18619338
t. earthrocker

>>18616051
do you know what,s sad? In america you have statistically the same chance a balloon pops beside you and somebody shoots. That's why normal people would never go there

>>18619446
You don't even live here, shut the hell up.

>>18619446
esl moron.

>>18617037
I wear bone conduction headphones in public.
It's kinda shocking how many complete strangers have come up to me just to ask if they should buy a pair.

Got an old black guy some Raisinets once

>>18616915
Nigger you run the gift card, you don't hand it over.

>>18618062
>Yeah I'd eat that mameass too.

>>18615067
i went to a produce market near the ghetto. this nasty looking middle aged black man was standing like 3" behind me in the checkout line and kept "accidentally" bumping into me. i expected to be robbed in the parking lot. luckily he got caught up counting change.

>>18619483
Should I buy a pair tho?

>>18614903
What's it like to be so afraid?

>>18614929
Wasnt there a wallmart mass shooting a day or 2 ago

>>18614838
Who made this comic? Jean-Paul Sartre? Hahaha, amirite, fellas?

>>18619641
And like 5 gang shootings but who's counting

>>18619641
There was no mass shooting. By NewSpeak definitions it can only be a mass shooting if committed by a white person.

>>18614838
I walked into Walmart saw the demographic and realized that there is no hope

>>18619454
>>18619476
>*get shot*

>>18619628
Honestly, yeah. They're pretty great. Durable and comfortable enough that I've slept and even showered while wearing them with no issues.
My biggest gripe is that they're kinda quiet. Max volume won't "get you in the zone" at the gym. But it's good anywhere that you need to be aware of your surroundings.

>>18619631
Free.

>>18614912
>>burst into treats
god I miss this so much

>>18619842
its been over a decade since anyone has said it here im sure
i figured everyone on /ck/ is old and jaded anyway

>>18614838
qt sheep.

shopping used to be fun :(

>>18619871
Las time November 2021 and before that April 2021.

>>18617876
>it has my coin.
You lost it?

>>18618062
>>milf in skimpy athletic outfit walks up next to me in the freezer section
>>standing together for a moment, looking at the frozen vegetables
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tncd84NYJ1Y

>>18614860
I went to a European country recently and everyone was like this, they will just stare daggers into your back until you notice them and move. At best they will simply shove past you, but they will never speak.
Ironically, my friend we were staying with there hated that culture and thought his countrymen were a bunch of retarded pussies.

>>18620076
had a shortstack as me to grab off the high shelf the other day and got her pastries while iw as shopping
can't believe i forgot about it considering how socially inept i am

>>18620134
>burden vs bro
His expression says it all.

>>18620087
Which country? I was in Ireland and Germany recently and thought everyone was fairly polite

>>18620147
Norway

>>18620155
where in norway were you? I've lived here my entire life and I can't recall anyone pushing past me even a single time

>>18620134
Good idea. Instead of climbing the shelves I’m now going to ask hot tall guys to help me.

>>18618062
Anon, you got bean shilled.

>>18619939
It still is if you search for the best of the best.

>>18620161
They probably don't have to because you're aware of your surroundings and instinctively make space for other people.

>>18620254
of the best, sir.

>>18614838
women are constantly not keeping their eyes aligned with their velocity vector and it's kinda annoying needing to dodge them

any time i see a bald guy, he's buying fatty/processed foods and no vegetables

i went to Fresh Thyme and Trader Joe's in one trip and encountered the same older hetero couple at both and they noticed and had a chuckle

>>18614860
Furry artists are.

>>18619320
>>18619338
>>18619363
It's a 2013 Clutch album.

>>18614838
Seeing a morbidly obese father and son buy multiple bags of my favorite bread. Hope they are fit now.

>>18619764
How much did your pair cost you? Last I checked, which granted was a while ago, that shit was like $200, and I'll be damned if I'm spending that kind of scratch for low volume.

>>18620173
I'd recommend scrambling up there like a goblin, perching on the top shelf and announcing to any terrified onlookers that you're single. But that's just the kinda shit I'm into.

>>18617482
>or whatever website that stupid phrase came from
/jp/ of all places

>>18620161
lower coast, happened at least once to each of us. But more people are just meek and stand there.

>>18614930
this is 100% guaranteed to happen

>>18619628
I live/work an REI (they sell these) and everyone has these. My wife bought them and used them once but she does that with anything expensive so idk. I prefer to have the Galaxy bud in one ear so I can still hear shit if something happens.

>>18614860
People still get mad at you even if you do that.

>>18620087
You went to some northener shithole where they are all dead inside, didn't you?

>>18614903
>Free men don’t need permission.
>immediate disclaimer about how he's a good boy in case the feds read his post
>pivots back to talking about how armed he is
>"I carry electric and chemical deterrents for when bullets don't stop them"

>all this on fucking /ck/, in a thread about grocery shopping

>>18614838
>2016
>go to shartmart for a box of yugioh cards (only store that still had them in stock)
>some 30-ish white woman notices me and tells me she wants that one tv on display, but that another employee told her it was the only one in stock so she had to take that one or buy a different model
>"ok, and?"
>looks at me like i'm fucking stupid, rolls her eyes and says that she wants me to go check on the warehouse for a boxed one
>"i don't work here, the hell?"
>screeches like a fucking banshee and orders me to go check or she'll talk with the manager
>"ok bitch", felt my heart racing 'cause i never confront people in public or act disrespectful towards strangers
>do a 360 and walk away with my yugioh cards in hand
>she follows me all the way to the exit
>once i get home i realize i forgot to pay for my shit and none of the wagies cared
I wasn't even wearing blue btw, just black jeans and a gray hoodie.

>>18621650
>Be me
>Around 14
>Grocery shopping with my Dad
>My tshirt is the same colour scheme as the Supermarket (grey tshirt with yellow trim down the sides, really similar, even made from the same sort of material)
>Employees all wear black pants, I'm wearing beige board shorts
>Indian man sees me and we make eye contact
>He thinks I work there and make a beeline for me
>Asks me where something is
>I say I'm not sure and start walking to the end of the aisle to read the signs
>He follows me as I read what's down the aisles
>I find the right aisle and walk down it and find what he's looking for
>Point at the item and say here it is
>He thanks me and I go back to the trolley
>Dad asks me where I was
>"Helping someone find something"
I still don't know why I didn't tell him I don't work there. Makes me kek though.

>>18621694
Good on you, anon.

>>18614860
Yes

>>18614898
So fat he's Rascalized

>>18621650
walked out with free yu gi oh cards like a chad, amazing. this is like a mic drop

>>18621694
Kek

Based nice guy

>>18614838
this is stonetoss's best comic yet

>>18614838
>Needed deenz, ramen from Japan, and basic seasonings with Asian text.
>Spent all my money supporting autistic ecelebrity chefs who make videos of themselves eating food, videos that get 500k views each.
>Mom won't buy anything I want.
>Start crying and throw myself on desu desu desu, frog pic...

>I'm only 29

>>18621714
>>18621747
Another nice guy moment
>Go to buy some beer
>Stop at ATM to check how much money I have
>Woman in front of me leaves but left her card in the machine
>Managed to see what store she walked into
>Look at the number pad so I don't see any of her details and spam the cancel button until it spits her card out
>Check my balance
>Go into supermarket to find her
>She's down the beer and wine aisle lol
>She's squatted down reading a label
>"Excuse me, you left your card in the machine"
>Hand it to her
>She's so oblivious, her thank you was more of a 'thanks?'
>Walk 5 steps down the aisle to look at the beer
>Walk past her still looking at wine on the way out
I almost felt like she suspected I withdrew some money to buy my beer.

>>18621759
>Around fatties, people feel batty

>>18615851
On a list of things that didn’t happen, this is the item on the list that didn’t happen the most

>>18620641
>How much did your pair cost you?
It was a gift, to be honest.
The price looks like it dropped since then to $130 I believe. Which for something I wear close to 8 hours a day, I'd probably be willing to dump that for a new pair if mine ever went missing.

>>18616158
Under 30 "reality":

>YouTubers are celebrities
>Zoomers contribute anything memorable to the culture and history of the world
>White adults middle class or higher don't use manners in public

>>18619320
he's a musician

>>18621508
>pivot

>In line at the small grocery store, 4 check outs, but only one open
>A new register opens
>"Next in line can come to check out 2 please"
>Guy with only one thing goes "Ah!", tries to cut past me
>Cut him off with my shopping cart
>"He said next in line"
>"Well aren't WE in a hurry"
>I said look buddy you're the one that's trying to skip in line aren't YOU in a hurry?
>Kinda looking over my shoulder going outside
>He didn't follow me or nothing

Still felt good ngl

>>18622453
If I had a bunch of stuff and the guy behind me in the same line had only a couple of things I would offer to let him cut in front of me, just as so many people have done for me in the past.

>>18622467
If you had only a couple of things and the guy in front of you had a bunch of stuff, you wouldn't just cut him off.

>>18615851
>and now i'm ahead of you dipshit, you were standing there, i stepped around you to get to where i'm going, it's a fucking grocery store, don't need to be a cunt about it"
that's the best you came up with after just saying "s-sorry" in reality and angrily replaying that moment a thousand times in your head? I'm disappointed anon

>>18615017
They know
Rather than bust you right away, they're waiting until the total value of shit you stole adds up to a felony
Stop now before you get in too deep

>grocery store at the crack of dawn for an energy drink
>see police officer
>she's hot
>athletic blonde in uniform = diamond cock
>say fuck it, walk up to her
>"Hi, you don't know me but you're really gorgeous and I'd like to take you out."
>"Oh... I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend"
>"I see. What a lucky guy. See you around then."
>go back to shopping
I probably could have said something more clever, but I'm just glad I said anything at all without dropping my spaghetti

>>18616104
>polite thing to do
Sounds like queer bullshit anon.

>>18621428
This
It’s about waiting your turn. Obviously I’m looking for something specific, such as a specific trait of the product like the different cuts of meat, the quality of marbling etc. and for you to just reach in and take the one I may have chosen because you’re a slob who doesn’t care what he eats as long as it’s “meat” for dinner is degenerate behavior. I got there first so I get first pick of the best of the best, this is how white society works.

>>18622556
What’s this have to do with anything
Also, you’re really cringe for doing that
She didn’t have a boyfriend she didn’t want to execute you when you tried to touch her and persuade her to go with you.
SAD!

>>18622565
You sound really bitter and insecure.
Maybe you should try talking to a good-looking woman out of the blue too. It might make you feel good about yourself for once.

>>18622565
>tfw no dommy policewoman to handcuff and punish you

>>18614838
I would ABSOLUTELY fuck that sheep

>>18622556
HANDS ON THE WALL SO I CAN SOCCER KICK YOUR BALLS INTO OBLIVION!

>>18614860
zoomers call that kind of behavior a 'micro-aggression'.

>>18622662
calm down muhammed

>>18616056
Did you really have to add that dig in? Someone telling a nice story and you just had to insult him huh? For the lulz right?

This happened to me a few weeks ago, but it's not that interesting.

>getting a shit load of groceries, like 200 bucks worth, an entire cart load
>store is emptying up, I'm the last in line waiting for one of the few cashiers working the lines, no self check out at this store
>I'm next in line to check out when an older lady saunters into line with only a couple jars in her hands, but not before doing that thing where she looks over all the cashier lines and makes a quick "x amount of people in line/y number of average items in each person's haul = z shortest total time in line" calculation and determines that my line is the fastest
>she nervously looks out the front windows at the parking lot and then at her watch on her wrist
>I get what's going on and tell her "excuse me ma'am, please feel free to go ahead of me, no need to keep you here on my account" and motion to my full cart of groceries
>she looks shocked and then gives a big smile and says "bless you son", like she didn't think anyone still had manners in this cold dark world, and she moves up in line in front of me and the wagie starts scanning her stuff
>I feel super happy but then all the sudden some guy gets in line behind me, and he's got a hand basket of stuff; enough to keep him over the 15 item express limit, and I'm pretty sure he's pissed because he looks only a few items over and I'm almost certain he was within ear shot when I offered the lady to cut in line
>I judge that he's got too much shit in his basket and it's not worth letting him cut in line ahead of me, so I put my head down and refuse to look at or acknowledge him
>he's quietly seething as we both wait for the cashier to scan and bag all my shit
>I kinda just rush out of the store and don't look back because I know the dude behind me is probably qqing about having to wait

Whatever, at least I got to feel good about helpokg out that lady for about 3 seconds.

>>18614838
this is literal white people problem
black people would go
>move nigga I need dat watermelon bruh

>>18622563
>see the meat section
>someone's standing there
>"Mmmm, yes, I see, but perhaps..."
>spot the cut I want
"Excuse me."
>get the cut I want
>leave the indecisive bitch there to seethe

>>18622857
You should have given your spot in line to the dude who probably actually has a job and places to be instead of some old lady who didn't want to miss Wheel of Fortune.

>>18622877
You could have just put some shit back and gone to the express line if you're in such a fucking hurry.

>>18622857
Man, that pic takes me back.
Used to play Mikado with my grandmother for hours when I was a kid.

>>18614860
Saying "excuse me" in a diverse society can result in a stabbing. It isn't social ineptitude, it's the natural consequence of turning our cities into a zoo.

>>18622877
No that old lady was late for church and the guy just wanted to go home to get his ass fucked.
In his basket were only condoms, a cucumber and a jar of Crisco.

Regardless of his life style choices the lady hasn't got much time left she might drop dead tomorrow and the dude has a lifetime ahead of him, his important job can wait another 5 minutes.

>>18622877
Well whatever. Also, the "judging how long it should take some wagie to scan and bag my shit up" is a rough and unproven field of science. I swear I've been in lines with some younger cashier who looks like they're gonna be speed demons but then they start moving like a fucking tortoise, and I look over at the line over, the one I passed up and the old lady cashier is moving like she's trying to set a record, and she does that sick move where she types in all the codes on the cash register with one hand and she's working a credit card with another and she looks like Neo hacking into the matrix.

If that motherfucker wanted the fastest time in and out of the store, he should have chosen a different line. Fuck the ops.

>>18622897
Excuse me while I stab you ignorant honkey ass.

>>18622857
>doing that thing where she looks over all the cashier lines and makes a quick "x amount of people in line/y number of average items in each person's haul = z shortest total time in line" calculation and determines that my line is the fastest
I love doing that, sometimes I even turn my head slowly across the room like The Terminator before claiming my lane.

Why are we not talking more about wanting to fuck the cat mom?

>>18621650
>>18621694
I've accidentally asked two people where something is assuming they worked tgere.

>>18623014
When I'm not sure I make it a point to ask first. Sure, might result in someone lying to me, but it's not that big of a deal in this case.

>>18622905
I keep a mental note on which cashiers are the best, and avoid new young people because 90% of the time they're new to te job and SLOW.

>>18614838
When I lived in Santa Monica,CA theres this Vons id shop at that had the cops in them with the fake armor vests and open guns. We'd constatnly have homeless people trying to steal booze and when they left and they tried to remove the booze theyd always geek talking about people stealing THEIR stuff

but the weirdest story came out during BLM riots starting and a black fucker took it on himself to act like an Asian women he had been harassing and shoved that she had said a racial slur when 5 people had watched him shove her and berate her. The security guard comes up whos also asian and he started freaking the fuck out saying they were colluding and then started chanting Black lives matter as if any of the white/asians/hispanics actually gave two fucks at an upscale Vons (this is still ironic too me since LA whites are very pro BLM no matter what) and not long after the dude shoved the security guard and got tazed. Great day and had a front row view in the dairy aisle

>>18623038
I also ran into James Pumphrey and Nolan from donut media at the Vons

>>18615786
This. All the middle aged midwest milfs love the little bit of attention. They’ll giggle and wish you a happy day.

>>18623041
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>18618006
Stopping isn’t the problem. Stopping in the center of the aisle is, and only boomers and shitskins do this.

>>18623085
Everybody does it now, the zoomers are all looking at their phones.

>>18614860
Don't say anything, just push them away with your body weight. They're NPCs so treat them as such.

>>18614860
Look at the seethe this post generated lol.

>>18623117
Zoomers are able to walk and navigate while looking at their phones. Boomers have to stop and focus exclusively on their phones.

>>18617132
Places like Winn Dixie or Walmart will have 1 aisle open (usually the cigarette or lotto aisle so they take forever to get through) and about 10 self checkout spots. They don't want you to use the regular line and pretty much have them for old lady checks and money orders

>early evening
>fat old fuck in front of me
>cart loaded with fuckton of cheap beer
>like to the brim
>all single cans
>I have a single frozen pizza on me
>think he probably counted his cans
>he starts putting every single can on the belt
>"excuse me, you just have to put one on-"
>"dincount"
>yeah, one fucking word
>"maybe you could let me-"
>he unplugs his hearing aid
>finishes unloading
>young cashier visibly aging while the avalanche approaches her
>contemplate calling my boss telling him I'll be late next day due to being stuck in a fucking discounter
>fast-foward four decades
>cashier finishes giving herself tinnitus
>his card gets rejected
>he lacks cash
>leaves without a word
>mfw
On the plus side, I can now register for retirement, third and fourth world wars have concluded (who knew Switzerland could be so aggressive right) and I won the Nobel Prize for not committing a murder.

>>18617897
If Publix stops selling an item you can actually request they bring it back just for you at the customer service desk. They will bend over backwards for some old lady asking for a cup of rice that she used to buy. If you stop buying it every week they take it off the order

>>18623406
Where was this? That might have been me. I do it for fun.

>>18623406
Kek, same here except it was lottery tickets at a gas station and I had to wait about 20 minutes.

>sister and I are getting some stuff for dinner at the small grocery store across the street from our apartment
>a 30-something woman comes up to me
>"Excuse me, could you tell off my kid for being misbehaving, he won't listen if I do it"
>sheepishly agree and berate her kid
>it worked
I'm pretty sure she only approached me because I was the edgiest-looking person in the store. I was maybe 17 or 18 at the time

>>18623551
>be sat at airport minding my own business
>toddler running around throwing a tantrum
>lady with strong Glaswegian accent points at me and screams “DARREN IF YOU DON’T STOP MISBEHAVING THAT BAD MAN THERE IS GOING TO TAKE YOU AWAY”
>mfw

>>18623574
lol, you should've looked at them and said "she's right"

>>18623030
i pick the fattest, most retarded, laziest cashier because he wont check the bottom of the baskket for the 24 pack of energy drinks i put there

can't ever pick a woman, they're busybodies. they'll only do their job when it fucks you over

>>18623030
You’re lucky to get a cashier at all in the UK. Everyone has been replaced by self-service scanners. It’s shit.

>Was in the store today
>Two weeks of groceries the whole cart was full
>A guy comes up with four things
>Hey dude you wanna go first I got a lot?
>What no? Yeah yeah thanks.
>I say can he go first to the cassierre.
>She says is this yours, pointing at the frozen pizza
>Yes?
>Well then I have to finish everything before I can help anyone else.
>Ok sorry bro I tried.

>>18614911
lol you’re a pussy ass bitch that can’t say “excuse me”

>>18623418
Sure you do, kid. Totally.
>>18623438
We should make it socially acceptable to beat up people like that on the spot.

>>18623766
Or beat up the other cashier that was smoking out back instead of helping at the other register like they're supposed to.

>>18623775
Naw mate. Guy wants to die of alcohol poisoning, I say we do him a favor and treat him to a swifter demise.

>>18623775
>>18623789
Also, place is notorious for having no backup. They are understaffed the moment one person calls in sick.

>>18622503
it's the best i came up with in the moment having some cunty retired lady berate me for normal behavior, rest assured I'd have said something about a dead husband if it wasn't heat of the moment. sorry your non-confrontational autism registers this as an odd response

>>18622875
>choke your ass out as soon as you grab it
>jam my knife into your stomach, slowly cutting out a comparable size cut of your meat
> remove the steak your stole from the packaging
>put your bloody muscle in instead
>give it back to you
>"It's on the house."

>>18623851
You forgot the part where everyone claps and you tip your fedora to them before decapitating me with your katana and wiping the blood off on your duster, mister badass.

>>18616035
I had a similar experience but with a cutie amputee vietnam veteran and some frozen corn dogs

>>18614860
I once said excuse me to a lady in the milk section and she saw sorry in a polite way and as she walked away she started cursing me under her breath

>>18615204

>>18623851

>>18619561
It was a printed out gift card.

>>18624258
So it happened 20 years ago

>>18622503
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

>be me
>made fish stew day before
>gonna have it again for supper
>mostly broth and fish scraps now
>needs some more seafood
>go to local market
>go to fish counter
>see cute neighbor lady who lives across the street
>our only interactions have been smiling and saying hello
>she says hi and starts interrogating me
>what are you cooking tonight?
>she clearly wants a conversation
>I’m not having it
>answer “fish stew”
>just then fishmonger asks what I need
>can’t think straight cause neighbor is watching me
>forget what I need
>blurt out random shit to the fish guy which was very close to
>2 clams, 3 shrimp, 1 scallop, 2 mussels
>neighbor lady looks at me like I’m retarded (I am) and asks “is that enough for a stew? What about the fish?
>Yes. The fish is waiting at home. I have to go. Bye.
>dash away
>realize at the checkout I didn’t get enough seafood
>fuck it too late now
>neighbor lady isn’t so friendly anymore
I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m a poor, gay, and retarded.

>>18622905
Neo didn't do shit. He just sat there while Tank plugged him in and did all the computer work. Neo was a leecher and Tank was a seeder.

So fuckin based, Italian is my favourite type of food to make and this is like a God-level hack

>>18623574

>>18614838
i was at my local grocery store the other day and a gym saleswoman was trying to talk to me into signing up with a friend to get a 25% discount. i blurted our that i dont have friends and ran away after realizing what i've said.

>>18624301
You utter sperg.

>>18624029
Kek. Saved.

>>18624301
You should feel le bad, you fucking fag. Now imagine that story again but this time when you notice the QT neighbor lady, you go for it and shoot your shot and offer to cook for her sometime? Yeah sure, she'll probably say no, and it might be awkward from now on during the very few times you see her, but who cares? Also, that's already what's going on right now anyways. You suck bro.

>>18614838
>be at Kroger
>picking up odds and ends
>at self check out, waiting on girl to get me a log of grizzly out of the tobacco case
>wigger with face tats and some fat bitch in lycra behind me
>says "man hurry the fuck up"
>proceed to tell him to take his ghetto fabulous white Precious lookin bitch and take their ass back to section 8
>says he'll "make me" hurry up
>say "bitch I'll count every fucking candy bar and read every fucking ingredient label before I hurry up"
>steps toward me
>lift shirt, expose m1911 in waistband
>"wouldn't if I were you, son"
And that's how I got banned from THAT Kroger...

>>18624371
Small dick energy

shop still had cctv although nobody likes it

>>18624377
>immediately goes to talking about my penis

NO, I WONT BE YOUR GAY LOVER, ANON.

>>18624029
>>18624359
>>18616867

>>18624386
There's no getting away from that with gun stories. People carry guns as a substitute for masculinity, and it frequently comes down to an undersized penis.

>>18624392
No, I carry a gun as protection, as I live in proximity to the hood. Now I have a nicer Kroger marketplace about 15 minutes north of me I go to. Very few boogs, and those that go there don't show their ass. The ones who do get escorted out and told not to come back.

>>18624406
you will always be a woman

>>18624418
Cope.

A few years ago I was in Deutschtown, Pittsburgh (Northside), in that Giant Eagle

Just wandering around a bit, no list, getting my stuff
And back by the meat coolers, this kid with his dad stopped walking, had a heave, then force/projectile vomited like a gallon of orange liquid onto the linoleum

I thought the dad would call for help, or a cleanup or something
But he said "WALK AROUND IT" and they skipped out

>>18624428
copepiss and capeshit

I didn’t think this thread would reach bump limit

>>18614898
Retard has a point.

>>18616867
I want to have sex with the cat

>>18621739

Hey fuck you bud yu-gi-oh is a thinking mans game and set boxes are like $80, you would do well to put some respect on its name

>>18617230
Because it took you 15 fuckin minutes to grab a tin of deenz?? No, sorry, this story is utter fabricated bullshit. You grab the tin, you walk away. Even if some lunatic got pissy for her bubble space being violated, it takes 3 seconds to grab it and go. She'd have to then follow you screeching and then no manager is going to throw you out.
Yer full of shit.

>>18624282
WELL I HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOTHER

>>18624360
I think he knows already.
Why don't you feel bad for berating people on a cajun fish stew forum, mister big shot dating advice.

>>18624549
>yu-gi-oh is a thinking mans game
No, it's fag shit for gay babies. Play Magic like a real neckbeard, bitch