/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19569317
What are you some kind of freakjob that sits around at a bar?

I once ordered a gin gibson and then felt immediately stupid when the girl asked me what a gibson was and I had to say it's just a martini with cocktail onions. Turned out she'd never had anyone order a martini before either.

>>19569317
Did you go up to the bartender and say, "I'd like 1 cocktail please."

>>19569343
>"okay what kind of cocktail?"
>"just whatever's on tap"

>>19569342
I ordered a martini at a bar one and the bartender started telling me all about her brother, how he's a great guy with a good job. Then she gave me his number. Really strange.

>>19569353
The only homosexual guy I know has a husband who doesn't work, just saying. He's basically a "kept" man. You could be that kept man, anon.

>>19569353
Just because a lot of fruity cocktails are served in martini glasses doesn't make them martinis.

>>19569317
I am surprised that there are so many bars with huge cocktail menus that don't do irish coffee, while serving both coffee and having a bottle of Jameson at hand.

>>19569342
>be in a shitty dive bar in the industrial part of town where only men after their shift at their dead end jobs drink their piss lager
>order fancy cocktail
>be surprised when the bartender doesn't know it

>>19569317
O'a kin, shut up.

>>19569317
>it's a gimlet
Watch episodes of Bar Rescues, the bartenders are often inexcusable. Basic shit they'd know looking it up on google.

>>19569347
lol I'm gonna do this tonight.

>be me, bartender
>going out to drink at another bar
>order a gin and tonic or other equally shit-simple, easy drink
>bartender relieved they don't have to mix something else with 8 ingredients when they're already slammed
>tip generously, only attempt small talk if they're not busy

I love being in the industry

>>19569966
Oh I bet you gave him a big tip alright.

My ex was working at a place that didn't even have beer on draft and she didn't know how to make any drinks outside of rum and coke. She'd just crack open Budweiser and make 100+ a night on slow days.

>>19569389
>Gibson
>fancy

>>19569317
>order a cocktail
>bartender gives it to you in a can

>>19569966
>tip generously

This is misleading because it's your fedora, not your cash

Dumb nig bartender in New Orleans had never heard of a Tom Collins

>go to dive bar
>order a whiskey ginger
>"uhhhhh..."

>>19569966
When I was 22 and working in the manufacturing industry, I went to Thailand for work. The hotel work stayed at was pretty nice and for repeat, long term guests (many of my then colleagues), there was access to a free bar on the 27th floor. My colleagues would invite me up, and I got to try all the drinks I've heard in movie lines.

One day while I was up there my orders went like,

>gin and tonic
>martini (yuck)
>gin and tonic
>cognac (yuck)
>gin and tonic, make it a double
>wtf this isn't a double
>gin and tonic, make it a double

The servers stopped coming by frequently. I guess I should've tipped XD

>>19570368
G&Ts are my go to at those cheap open bars

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A COCKTAIL?!
I'M SHUTTING THIS PLACE DOWN

My freinds used to order something called a "Mongolian Mother Fucker".
Always acted like he was the coolest shit for ordering it, but it was pretty clear that no bar we went to had a damn clue what it was and just made something up on the spot.

I don't think he ever noticed.
Sometimes, drinking with him felt like I needed a second drink on the side just to put up with him.

>OP ordering a cape cod

Just call it a vodka cranberry, dickhead

>>19569347
This shouldn't be as funny as it is.

>>19569317
Because 98% of customers orders are rum n coke, gin n tonic or pouring a beer into a glass
If you want cocktails turn go to a cocktail bar, not a dive bar
T. Bartender

>>19571887
seems like you got some spare time if you're posting here, bartender. I'll have a red eye please

>go to bar
>order southern comfort and coke
>get a 16oz glass of southern comfort and a 16oz glass of coke
That girl was dumb, I'm not sure what's worse that or when my friend ordered chicken parm on a roll at the diner and they put a chicken parm dinner on top of an uncut kaiser roll

hi, tendy, yeah, me and my buddy here are gonna try some new drinks tonight. we'll have

1 Bloody Mary
1 Pink Squirrel
1 Friar Tuck
1 Ding-A-Ling
1 white wine
2 Angel Tits
1 Dirty Mother
1 screwdriver

No tip if we don't get our drinks within 15 minutes

>>19571887
>have job
>refuse to learn anything about it or even attempt to master it because i have no self respect
sad life

>>19569317
>order a cocktail
>the bartender unzips his pants

>>19569366
Odd, same thing for me too.

>>19569353
Well, only old women drink Martinis. Their dryness mirrors their nether regions is the best guess I have for a reason why.

Classic cocktails yes, but if you're some type of faggot that orders something uncommon in a bartenders black book I'm charging you more.

>>19569317
I'll have a Staten Island iced coffee.

>>19569317
read the room. if there is no drinks menu and everyone there is a middle age guy drinking a beer then don't try to order a cocktail

>>19573191
I'll order whatever I'm in the mood for. You sound like the runt of 5 brothers

>>19573191
Why? Are you afraid they'll beat you up or call you a queer?

>>19573370
>>19574658
there's a good chance the bartender wont know cocktails you retard. you shouldn't expect caviar at a red lobster either

>>19569317
>order cappuccino
>waitress brings me a latte

>order a cafe latte
>waitress brings me a coffee with milk

>>19574676
Even the sleaziest scumshack bartender should know the basics. Old fashioneds & martinis have been around for decades.

>go to bar to order a SEX ON THE BEACH
>walk up all confident
>bartender gets a heart attack
>I am frozen stiff
>after some hubbub a cute waitress switches in
>I try to get away
>she insists I order what I wanted
>mumble S-SEX onthebeach
>MY HOW FORWARD YOU ARE
>get dragged to the back
>lose virginity
>will never attain magical powers now
stay away from these hellish dens

>>19574734
I had a similar experience but I was in a bathroom using the urinal and these guys walked in. They told me I had 2 options, give them my wallet or they'd take my asshole. I was thinking that it was the best night of my life. I said, "well, gentelmen" as I dropped my pants to my ankles, "better start your engines." Turns out they didn't want my ass, they just beat the shit out of me and took my wallet.

It's a Philly thing, I actually found a support group for guys who were robbed the same way. I couldn't deal with it though, those guys are actual fags.

>>19569317
>order a negroni
>get assaulted for racism

>>19574676
most bars I've been to where the bartender isn't a retard will just ask you how to make it or look it up on their phones then make it

>>19574676
>"did you have a good time at the bar?"
"No, I wanted a whiskey sour but the bartender couldn't make one."
>"you asked for a whiskey sour and he said he couldn't make one?"
"No, the bar was full of old white guys, it was obvious he never even heard of it."

>order a Last Word
>they either don't know what it is or they don't have chartreuse

I've only had this drink once and I yearn to have it again

>>19569380
As in it's not on the tariff board, or they refuse when you ask? Because you can just order a coffee and a shot of whiskey. It isn't hard to make, nor to price. I'd just charge you for both as if you ordered them separately.

>>19569317
Are you one of those fedora tipping mouth breathing nerds that order some le EPIC cocktail you saw on Reddit?
Once overheard some dude order a "flaming dragon breath" and was flabbergasted the bartender didn't know wtf he was talking about. Of course he was like 300 lbs and had a giant neck beard. Probably should just stick to IPAs.

>>19569317
>order a shot
>it costs $7.50
>bartender still expects a tip

>>19571038
>YOU EXPECT TO SERVE 6 MILLION CUSTOMERS WITH ONE OVEN??!!!

Do you really have to tip the bartender every time in the US, or only for somewhat complex cocktails?

wasn't a bartender, but a runner at the arcade bar hadn't heard of bits & bubs when i was there last week with one of a dozen gay furry friends

>>19576982
If they're open 7 days a week, 10 hours a day, never closed on holidays, they would have to serve 1 visitor every 11 seconds.

>>19575978
>As in it's not on the tariff board, or they refuse when you ask?
Both. Also just mixing wirh coffee raw is not the same, it has to be brewed while adding the whisky simultaniously plus the whipped cream kind of matters.

>>19574966
There are like 5 bars in town that can make that for me. It's very trendy and well known amongst cocktail nerds like many bartenders. What kind of backwater retard town do you live in?

>>19577315
Always be tipping

>>19577315
For every drink. If it's just pouring a $5 or $6 beer that I'm going to take back to my table myself, I just tip $1. If I'm going to a place that makes cocktails where they have to gather ingredients, mix shit correctly, shake or stir that shit, then put up with me talking about Sonic for upwards of half an hour, you bet I tip 20-25%.

>>19569353
>>19569366
>>19569993
>>19572553
end yourselves fags

>>19571910
>>get a 16oz glass of southern comfort
Yeah, I'm not gonna complain about that.

>>19569317
The last two bars I order a Sidecar at served me what was basically just cognac on the rocks.

>>19569322
That’s literally my entire personality.

>>19569317
What was the cocktail?

>>19571887
Bartenders who can't make the drink I want do it for free, no tip bucko

>>19571928
Based.

>at a wedding
>open bar, hell yeah
>gonna get blasted with my cousins
>bar tender comes around the tables taking drink orders
>"Tom Collins please"
>looks a bit confused but writes it down and keeps going around
>5 minutes later, different server comes to me
>"Can you explain what is a Tom Collins?"
how the fuck can you work at a bar and not know this shit

>>19579747
They're not bartenders, they're servers and bus boys. I've been to enough cheap weddings to know that those places don't hire bartenders. They barely want to pay for people who can safely prepare food.

>at pub in australia
>ask for jameson dry and lime
>bartender hands me a schooner of carlton dry with a shot of jameson and some lime cordial in it

>>19570211
Underrated

>>19569317
Post a picture of your purse

>>19579407
You will when they charge you for 16oz of Southern Comfort

>>19569317
>I'll have a dry beer, neat, on the rocks. Shaken not stirred.

>>19579535
thank you kindly. Would you like a cocktail, sir?

>>19569966
Every bartender I've talked to about this has said "look, you should order what you want to order. If it's something annoying and I'm busy then I'll hate life but that's the job". Is that fair? I'm mildly paranoid about the whole thing.

>>19582045

Nah that's totally the job. As a bartender myself I prefer to make things easy for my comrades-in-arms. But you're a customer. You wanna order some insane drink nobody's ever heard of, with a dozen ingredients including peanut butter, that I'm gonna have to Google? In the middle of the dinner rush? Hey, it'll take me a second, but if you're not an asshole and you don't mind waiting we'll be just fine. I had one regular named Bryce who would always order shit like that, old timey gin cocktails that I cannot for the life of me remember, but he was a cool guy and we got along well. Just make sure to tip nicely and I'll kiss you on the lips if that's what you want.

>>19569966
>>19582045
>>19582130
To me if you're at a nice or slow bar you can order whatever you want. If you're downtown clubbing or at a slam packed bar on a Saturday night where the wait for a drink is 5-10 minutes shoulder to should next to 50 people, then yeah order something simple like a gin and tonic or a screwdriver.

>>19582130
whore

>>19582130
I'm glad to hear it. I always asked them about what kinda things they recommended me, or any cool drinks they'd found or experimented with. I'm glad I don't live somewhere with tipping for cocktails though.