/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19606964
Your neighbor is based and I bet you’re a fag.

Though I prefer to start my smoking at 10 pm with the boys while we get shitfaced until the next morning.

>>19606964
>blessed by the smell of smoky meats
>why are they like this

>>19606964
Something tells me you were awake last night and encountered an overwhelming taste and feel of meat in all of your orifices.

>>19606964
lol hi neighbor

They're retired and their melatonin production is fucked so they wake up at 5AM and get bored. They are untethered from the shackles of a shared concept of time and space.

>>19606992
n-no way that would require human interaction, can't have that...

>>19606964
he'll probly share some food and beer with you later of you say hey

Your neighbor is based and you could probably enjoy some of his superior meats if you weren't such an autistic shut-in. I hope he has a blast with whatever gathering he's hosting and I hope it keeps you up all night.

>>19606964
Because smoking meat can take more than 12 hours depending on what you want and he probably wants to eat before the sun goes down

>>19607119
>neighbour's superior meats
that sounds like a good brand name kek

>>19606964
>Grow up only grilling one time a year on independence day at grandparents' because they have a balcony
>The intoxicating smell of grills is reserved for that one day
>Family moves to apartment with balcony
>Neighbors grill on theirs all the time
>Smell enters our apartment every time, makes stomach churn in anticipation for next independence day grill
>Grandparents eventually die
>Independence day
>Buy cheap grill and charcoal and meats
>Grill
>Neighbors WhatsApp group is abuzz
>"SOMEBODY IS GRILLING! THE SMOKE! AAAA WHO'S DOING THAT?!"
>One neighbor takes and shares a picture of me and the grill from his balcony
Why are they like this?

>>19607145
Grilling is for the landed classes. Why does everyone in your family live in apartments?

>>19607180
High rise society.

>>19606964
>Unable to sleep
>02:00 AM
>Decide to drink some water
>Get out of bed
>Walk to sink
>Feet against ground make slight feet-against-ground sound so neighbor underneath suddenly makes a sound
>My heart jumps, loud "bang" from his apartment
>Jesus fucking Christ
>Drink water
>Go back to bed
>Turn on youtube
>Pic related
>Immediately when podcast host starts talking, hear loud BANG again from neighbor underneath
>Not sure if he's protesting me or coincidentally turning in his bed now
>Lower volume to 1 and type quietly on my keyboard

>Next day
>Open window
>Hear loud, sudden and forced COUGH from neighbor downstairs
I am 30, he is 23 and half my size. Not sure what to make of it but I'm ready to piss onto his balcony.

>>19607286
Forgot pic

>>19607286
I have a fat fuck living above me, it's a nightmare. I know he doesn't make noises on purpose but jesus fucking christ he's loud. Every steps he takes it's like BAM BAM BAM BAM, you kinda tune it out after a while but when he wakes up during the night, it's impossible to ignore. Maybe you don't realize how bad the sound insulation is in your place, just try to be careful.

>>19607294
Fuck, I feel you. I'm on the top floor. But I'm thinking people have KIDS in their houses. People have spouses. People talk, watch TV. The ONLY thing I do is sit on my computer and I live alone, have no kids or anything, and that dude is complaining over footsteps. I'm not fat. 175cm and weigh 70kg. I've started wearing socks to avoid making that foot to hardwood floor sound, to not wake him up. I try to be considerate but god damn is it a funeral?

>>19607300
Also, I've seen him walk barefoot in his own apartment when I knocked on his door once when we were newly moved in. So HE can walk and the guy below him doesn't complain but I can hardly make any sounds? I don't understand it

>>19607300
>>19607302
Apartmentlet mindbroken by the most basic passive aggression kek

>>19606964
>day off
>sleeping in
Holy shit you fucking cuck get out of here.

>>19607302
Why not just not? Lmao. After my landlord died I started cranking my stereo to max until my neighbors moved.

>>19607300
thats crazy. the first thing i did when i moved in was get belligerantly drunk and scream insane nonsense every night. after a few weeks of that they don't confront you about getting up from the desk to get a fresh soda

>>19606964
I start my smoker either early in the morning or the night before I plan on eating smoked meats.
It's a time consuming process to get good quality meat.
>>19607286
Thank fucking God I own a house, you mind broken apartment dwellers are insane.

>>19606964
oh fuck off
I'm a vegetarian but the smell of smoked meat is fucking heavenly, just enjoy it and stop being a shitty neighbour

>>19607294
>first apartment
>have a guy above me
>walks around all night
>it's a tiny apartment
>pic related
>back and forth back and forth
>footsteps until 4AM sometimes
>other days
>loud music playing
>not rap or anything like that
>it's "you are my sunshine" on loop
>with heavy bass
>go up to complain
>it's some crack nigger with two giant speakers on his floor
Had a few conflicts with him and it was a huge hassle dealing with his shit.

>>19606964
Mine decided to grill 2 feet from the plastic siding and my door yesterday, I thought my apartment was having an electrical fire. I feel you

>decade ago
>live in student housing
>guy living in the room next to me is some foreign fuck
>plays videogames deep into the night
>angry foreign gamer shouts
>bang on his door and tell him to shut the fuck up
>smokes inside his room and it wafts over to my room
>tell him to smoke in the yard or I'm getting his ass evicted
>walk by his room one day, his door is ajar
>see orange flickering light
>motherfucker lit a scented candle to hide the smell of his cigarettes
>idiot put the candle an inch away from his curtains
>went ballistic on the guy
>day later, landlord calls me to tell me the guy is moving out
>apparently he couldn't take the harassment
>mfw

>>19606966
I wish I had friends and a garden

>>19607590
Based. Society needs more bullying of the retarded.

>not acting friendly to cop some free meat

>>19608031
This guy gets it.

I would fucking kill myself if I ever had to live in an apartment again.

>>19607132
>last name is unironically Neighbor
I was made for this

>>19606964
that was me, we must be neighbors. no you can't have any.

>>19607059
>their melatonin production is fucked so they wake up at 5AM
Is that why I wake up at 4, 6 and 7 am every night?

>>19608309
That and the ol' spicy prostate.

>>19606964
move back north or west, whichever you come from. Either a dumb califag or a yuppie yankee.

i wish i were retired so i could get up early on a weekday to bbq a brisket

>>19608309
if you're waking up multiple times through the night then that means you have sleep apnea
suck it up, pay $40 and get tested so you can go back to sleeping soundly for 7-8 hours uninterrupted instead of "sleeping" for 13 hours, waking up every 40min and always feeling tired

>>19606964
Based. Fuck you faggot.

It is degrading and inhumane to house more than one family under a single roof. Prove me wrong. Shit, even sharing a wall with the house next door is pushing it.

>>19607294
>just try to be careful
Normal household noises are normal, there's no need to be careful.

>married couple who hate each other but stay together for their toddlers living directly above me with tiled floors throughout
Every fucking day they argue and slam doors while their little shits are running about and I hear pata-pata-pata-pata-pata-pata-pata-pata on my ceiling all day long.

The woman that lives above me is a loud mfer. I live in Osaka and I think she must work for the yakuza or something. She has people coming and going at all hours. She'll have loud parties at like 10am on a tuesday, I can hear men and woman laughing extremely loud. When she's not having parties she's watching kpop dvds at full blast. And when she's not there her dog whines and howls. Also the people next to me are a young couple, every time they fuck the girl makes jav squealing sounds. When they aren't fucking the girl is yelling at the guy about something and the guy has sinus problems so he is constantly blowing his nose.

>>19610000
That's your punishment for being poor and living in an apartment.

>>19606964
>why are they like this?

>Is that.... SOMEONE WHO GOES TO BED AT A NORMAL TIME? AHHHH, SAVE ME LATENIGHTCONTENT MAN. I CANT UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE CAN HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING BEFORE 10 AM. I NEED TO STAY UP UNTIL IM EXHAUSTING CONSOOMING CONTENT, ITS THE ONLY FREE TIME I HAVE AFTER MY WAGESLAVE JOB. AHHHHHHHHHH HE'S SMOKING MEAT IM GOING INSANE

>>19606964
>Not showing up with a 30-pack, a watermelon, and a loaf of bread
>not spending the day "helping him bbq" aka standing around drinking beers at 8am

dude do you have any idea how this works?

>>19607145
Because you use charcoal grill?

>>19607145
>Neighbors WhatsApp group
Imagine living in some fag HOA gilded prison. You get what you deserve.

>>19612001
i don't have an HOA but every time I look at neighborhood groups on Facebook they always wind up being a whirlwind of racism

>>19612023
Sounds like you're missing out

>>19606964
I work night shifts all the time so I regularly start up my smoker at like 3am lmao