/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19733662
There's no way this is real lmao

>>19733662
Screamin sicilian

The expensive one with a mouth on it

>>19733662
reggios

>>19733662
You live in the US, so you cannot get the best one, which is Dr. Oetker Ristorante Pepperoni Salame

>>19733689
They sell those here, lol. It's bottom-tier crap as far as frozen pizza is concerned, always amuses me to see euros talk about it. At least they are cheap - they are bottom-tier crap but at $4 a pie it's a decent value. I don't think they can get any of our pizza over there and this is just the best they have.

>>19733713
its different in yurop, like most foods and drinks

>>19733681
>>19733689
They didn't have these
>>19733678
Thanks for your reply, I got a variety of the Screamin' and two competitors to test it against. I went with thin crusts because I'll be eating these myself in one sitting. I've never had any of these so I'll post my impressions in the thread.

Prices:
Screamin' Sicilian $9.99
Newman's $8.99
Rao's $13.99, yes you read that right

>>19733782
unironically waiting for your report. out of the budget brands Walmart great value and red baron are the best. Everything else sucks

>>19733662
I've been getting the one with the chickpea crust lately, Banza.

>20+ year old meme on cringe pizza

>>19733842
Cauliflower crust is itself a 20 year old meme so it checks out

Making the Sicilian first. I followed the directions to put it directly on the rack, and the cheese is dripping off the pizza and burning on the bottom of the oven, smoking up my house. I threw a tray underneath but it was too late. Please ignore the dirty oven window.

>>19733893
>Please ignore the dirty oven window.
thats literally all i can see in your image

>>19733893
Okay, THIS is epic

My dog says: Daddy, are you fr burning shit rn...

>>19733925
your dog looks like a slut

>>19733893
It looks like the pizza is outside in a horrific storm.

>>19733933
She is

>>19733689
Dr. Oetker has shit tier cardboard crust

>>19733925
>>19733945
absolutely canadian behavior

>>19733782
Raos sucks ever since they got bought by globohomo

>>19733782
>100% profits to help kids
Help them what?

>>19733918
Ok for the review: I was ready to rank this among other frozen pizzas I've tried in childhood, which includes Celeste, Elios, bagel bites I guess, and that kind of shit. Though this honestly punched right out of its class and demands to be ranked among real corporate pizzas like Domino's or Papa's.

Now, I'll start with the main negative you could accuse this pizza of having, which is that you know the crust came right off an assembly line. Besides being perfectly round and suspiciously smooth, it has a wafery, crackery texture and mouthfeel which reminded me of the cardboard circle the pizza came on. That being said, it at least didn't taste like cardboard. It actually had a good wheaty/bready taste and I found the texture oddly satisfying. Not mushy, bland, and sad like a celeste pizza. I would guess that they use real pizza crust ingredients but just use a machine to shape and pre-bake it.

For the other ingredients; I found the sauce to be acceptable (at least on par with Domino's, which actually exceeded my expectations). I found the cheese to be of remarkable quality, it's definitely real low-moisture mozzarella, and the dead giveaway for this is the amount of bright orange oil that seeped out of it. You can't replicate that with the fake cheese made of seed oils and soy pulp. Also it goes without saying that there was a great amount of pepperonis on it and they actually had two different sizes of pepperoni which were of different formulas, a minor detail that I found impressive.

Overall ranking:
For freezer pizza 10/10, a new benchmark for me
For any corporate pizza, 7/10, I think one of the national chains is better than this and it's tied with another national chain and it's better than the others.
For any pizza, 5/10, I live in Hudson County though so it's not a super fair comparison with what I have access to
Value per dollar: I'll give it an 8. I'm satisfyingly full for 10 bucks and the taste was much better than $10 worth of fast food.

>>19733662
>380 kcal for half the pizza
>tiny 8in pizza
>cauliflower as the crust
What's the point exactly? This is more calories than normal dough pizza.

>>19734089
>high in calories
>no bread
Perfect for ketolards

>>19734047
that’s a high dollar value. Thanks for the review

>>19733945
T U M M Y

>>19733662
Home run inn ultra thin

>>19734089
Gluten free

>>19733662
Jacks pizza is the best

>>19733678
Pretty much this, best you will typically find. They've got neat little singles and stromboli that are pretty decent freezer meals.

>>19733788
I grew up on red baron and it is the reason I hate thin pizza. Fucking lunchables pizza was better, even cold.

>>19733678
It wouldn't be a sicilian if it didn't have a mouth on it.

>>19733662
for me, it's French Bread pizza

>>19735067
Red Baron is better now

>>19733782
Post dog

the best, by far
frozen thin crusts and risen crust pizzas are 6/10 at best, they dont compare at all to a real slice of pizza so its best to not even try

detroit style pizza on the other hand is perfectly suited to being frozen, its the most delicious and greasy foccacia with loads of meat and cheese on top
top fucking tier

Keep this shit bumped I'm about to have another

>>19733662
Put that back, we have pizza at home

Ok next we're going to try the newmie. This one was a full dollar cheaper than the Screamer, but all profits help children transition. Let's see how it is.

>>19736502
Right off the bat, this one looks a lot less appetizing. It's a sickly orange color and there's less peps. This looks a lot more like what I'd expect from the freezer pizza category.

>>19733782
>Rao's
Based retard. Literally the worst and most expensive option when it comes to shitalian food.

>>19736552
doesnt look good, chief

>>19733925
Beautiful dog. What is that, a whippet?

>>19736570
No way dude I love rao's pizza. The pepperonis are flawless, super crispy and delicious. Their sauces are shit though.

>>19733662
>caulipower
>white pizza
racist

>>19736570
I just bought 3 random things for the thread, you are a retard for not understanding context even if what you said was true. Though I've had the sauce and I thought it was great for jarred sauce, definitely better than prego and the other shit we grew up eating. I actually have high hopes for that rao za.
>>19736585
She's too small to be a whippet and too big to be an Italian greyhound, she was sold as an Italian greyhound but idk
>>19736552
Ok the review: I was underwhelmed by Newman's 'za. It tasted exactly how it looked which was in the category of celeste and elios. I thought it was actually slightly better than those and I will give a special mention to the crust on this one which was actually surprisingly like real bread in texture. Even though it looks very cardboardy in that picture. Otherwise though I don't have anything notable to say about it. The cheese did not leave any orange grease on the plate which you would have predicted from the plain taste. Also, I am noticeably not full after eating this, even though it was exactly the same diameter as the Screamin. Spending $9 on junkfood and not even being full feels like a complete ripoff. Just checked both boxes and the Screamin is 18.4 oz and the Newman is 15.1oz. That makes the inferior pizza actually 9% more expensive per ounce. I'm not gonna bother giving any thought to the numeric ratings because honestly you should NOT buy this senpai.

>>19736660
>She's too small to be a whippet and too big to be an Italian greyhound, she was sold as an Italian greyhound but idk

Stunning man. Hope you guys get plenty of outdoor time, I've heard they're pretty high energy.

>>19736674
Not really to be honest. They are really built for short bursts of speed and have no stamina at all. This dog won't walk for 30 minutes before she starts dragging her heels and whining because she's too tired. She is one of the laziest dogs I've ever seen, she would just lay around all day and do nothing like an old hound if you let her.

>>19736717
Sounds a lot like my dog. When I first got her she would flat out refuse to walk, just stretch out on the pavement. I still have to carry her up hills.

>>19736726
Damn I want to see the offspring these two dogs would have

>>19736863
https://www.intheknow.com/post/italian-greyhound-pug-breed-mix/
Horrifying abominations, it looks like.

>>19734047
why did you eat the cardboard?

>>19736879
Eh, they showed a particularly ugly one there. I checked Google and some are pretty cute.

>>19736585
>whippet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_QLzthSkfM

>>19733662
Take up too much fridge space. I just keep pita bread, tomato sauce, cheese, and pepperoni stocked.

Home Run Inn is the best freezer pizza. Why? It actually tastes like pizza/real cheese when you make it.
The second-best pizza brand is the Kroger "Private Selection" pizzas which are made in Germany and shipped over. They have crust which is actually real bread so that's another big win there.
Screamin Sicilian is just OK, they're on the same level as Red Baron (but more expensive?)
My favorite sleeper brand is the Freschetta "brick oven style" frozen pizzas which come in a big square. Delicious.

>>19733782
For reference my rating on those 3:
Rao's: 6
Newman's Own: 5
Screamin Sicilian: 6.5
>>19735316
6.5
>>19736280
1

The Freschetta one. This is a solid 7.5/10
For the money I think the Red Baron frozen pizzas are the best as they're usually $3-5 and always a consistent 7/10

>>19734047
>it's definitely real low-moisture mozzarella, and the dead giveaway for this is the amount of bright orange oil that seeped out of it
That's from the pepperoni you absolute fucking retarded sack of downie shit.
As a resident of Suffolk County I hereby forbid you from eating anything other than frozen and/or chain pizzas for 5 years.

Lastly, if you do get the Red Baron, get the Brick Oven style because it uses a real crust as opposed to cardboard.
Thank you for reading my blog today.

>>19736660
Looks like a miniature pinscher

Ok folx I'm hungry again so we're going to try the third option. This one does have the most attractive box in my opinion. Also it's 18.3oz so promising size.

>>19737703

>>19737505
>>19737525
Thank you for your recommendations, I'm not sure if I can get any of these except the Frecshetta one. I'll try it if I see it.
>>19737517
Interesting that you rank the Screamin' higher than the Rao's, I'm curious to find out if I'll agree. This thing was about 40% more expensive. Are your ratings relative to the frozen pizza category, pizza in general, or food in general?
>>19737540
This also looks good and my grocery store has it. Maybe next round I'll compare a bunch of regular crust zas.

>>19737703
they make a good pasta sauce, i was curious about their other products

>>19737722
>Interesting that you rank the Screamin' higher than the Rao's, I'm curious to find out if I'll agree. This thing was about 40% more expensive. Are your ratings relative to the frozen pizza category, pizza in general, or food in general?
Specifically for the Frozen Pizza category. ONLY Home Run Inn tastes like actual food/pizza to me so that one gets a gold star. That said it has a weird/not-normal crust which is sort of like flakey pie crust but it's still the best frozen pizza.

>>19737703
The peps on this one are completely loose. I considered leaving them like this because it would be funny but probably not fair for the test.

>>19733689
Was Dr. Oetker friends with the Red Baron?

>>19737727
Interesting, where do you live? I've never even heard of that brand

Another thing that's funny about the Rao's box is that it has "brick oven instructions" on the back, as if anyone who owns a brick oven is going to be cooking frozen pizzas in it.

>>19737731
>$14 and they can't be fucked to put sauce to the edge of the horrible cardboard they call "crust"
hahahaha fucking lmao it's only better than newman's own by virtue of the meat being /slightly/ less shit
>>19737743
>Interesting, where do you live? I've never even heard of that brand
Midwest. They sell the pizzas from some sort of factory they have in Chicago, I've seen them at Whole Foods, Kroger, etc.

>>19733689
They sell Dr. Oetker in the USA it's just such a shit brand compared to ours that it gets taken off the shelves all the time. Only Norway eats more frozen pizza than the USA, we're a tough market for it.

>>19737743
>preheat to 700
are these fucking people joking or on some kind of awesome drugs that I'm jealous of? what a fucking lol

>>19737743
don't forget to garnish your fucking frozen pizza with real italian parmesan and basil LOL

Official drink of this thread is Y3000 flavored Coke btw

My review: tastes like a weird mix of butterscotch and flavacol, kind of like if they made butterscotch using the movie theater butter popcorn chemical instead of real butter. And it also tastes like a handful of random jelly beans with the buttered popcorn ones prominent, but also including cotton candy and pear and some random other shit you can't place.

I don't think this tastes very good but I do really enjoy tasting all the weird coke flavors and trying to guess what the flavor is. Call me a consoomer for this.

Initial impressions: this actually smells different from the other ones, there is an herbal note. It looks like one side is burnt but it's actually because a bunch of these loose flavor granules shifted to one side of the za. The crust on this actually looks the most legit of any I've seen.

>>19737798
Closeup on those flavor granules

>>19737798
Closeup on the legit looking bread

>>19737802
>>19737798
lol

>>19736660
Newman’s used to be decent products when he was running it but now it’s all low value junk that has his face slapped on it.

>>19737747
I’ve seen Home Run at Safeway in the PNW, it tastes very good but the crust is notably pie crust like to me.

>>19737811
Nice thread op, interested in your thoughts on the Rao, I’ve never had it before.

>>19737857
nice reddit spacing loser

>>19737880
shut the fuck up newfag

>>19733662
>Cauliflower crust
imagine the farts

>>19737811
>>19737802
>>19737798
Alright I think this is gonna be a controversial opinion but honestly guys, the Raos was really good. That crust WAS legit fermented pizza dough. There's no way around it. The sauce was bright and tangy, I could taste that a real tomato went in there and even that it was relatively less cooked than a sauce could be. I would believe if they actually used Rao's marinara sauce, the same stuff from the jar, right on here. The cheese and pepperoni were both unremarkable but good. The flavor granules were a great touch, they seem to have been dried garlic and parsley and basil, and probably some other shit. This pizza was much more spiced than the others. It really tasted homemade, and this is gonna sound weird, but I actually would put this in a 700° brick oven.

For all this praise, would I buy it again? No. Maybe if I were forced to cook a frozen pizza for a girl, but not in any normal circumstance. While there's no doubt that this product is totally elevated compared to the Screamin' za, and the added costs were 100% spent on ingredients rather than marketing, I didn't actually get more pleasure from eating it. Maybe it's because I am a sick ***slop enjoyer, but that thing had the kind of flavor I crave like a drug, and this one just tasted like a very good homemade mix of regular ingredients that I don't crave like a drug.

OP, I recommended the screamin sicilian because I knew you'd probably find it in whatever store you were in but my personal choice would actually be Kirkland signature from Costco

>>19737910
I have a Costco memby, I can try this

lol

>>19733689
>Dr. Oetker
We can get the evil doctor here.
And it sucks!!

>>19733788
>red baron
I couldn't finish the first and last Red Baron pizza I bought. Shit tasted so artificial.

>>19737752
The whole point of brick ovens is that they can get way, way hotter than conventional ovens.

The ones that don't have a pre baked crust.

>>19733678
yeah but then the cashier will think you're soy

>>19733689
Gustavo Gusto is the new king of frozen pizza.

>>19733782
>rao's
Some things you shouldn't buy even as a joke.

Never been disappointed by a Trader Joe’s frozen pizza

>>19739755
I like the three cheese but I find it really needs salt and red pepper for flavor.

>>19733667
lmao it actually is
https://eatcaulipower.com/en/products/cauliflower-pizza/white-pizza/

>>19739755
>>19739785
The roasted vegetable might be my favorite but I do add calabrian chili paste. The burrata and prosciutto is good, the mushroom is good and the margharita is great. I’d like to try the pesto but I rarely eat frozen pizza and even more rarely go to Trader Joe’s

>>19733662
Caulipower had a terrible crust when it first came on the market but they've gotten better since with a reformulation. Still not one I'd bother buying most of the time though.

My favorite is this brand. I buy it when it's on sale because it's pricey otherwise, but I load up when they're $6-9.

>>19737928
I bought these ones today

>>19735316
>>19737505
best pizzas in the thread
bonus points for supreme toppings motor city can get a massive pizza for 7 bux
i always cook it for the 20-22 mins, pull it out, sop up any accumulated water that may be left from thawing veg, slice it, then put it back in the oven for 4 or 5 mins
comes out pretty great
but i'm pretty sure my oven runs cold
either way motor city or home run inn both beat paying 20+ bux for a piz from some shit chain

>>19733662
>White
>Power
>Cauli
>Pizza
>Communists (Tomatoes) have left
This pizza pleases my racist autism

>>19738791
Even a fully homemade pizza needs a pre-baked crust. That's the only way to make pizza in the temperatures reachable by home ovens. Otherwise your toppings will be burnt and the bottom will still be soggy

>>19733715
Stop lying on the internet. Since they went "nuova ricetta" for their pizzas they turned to absolut garbage. Last year I saw them at a lidl deal, 2 for 3 euros. Bought them again ('roni salami and tono) because eh why the fuck not for that price and they deserve a second chance anyway...Still to expensive. Will never buy again after that taste experience. 10 years ago they were good though

if you are feeling slightly less lazy, I suggest going to walmart and buying the store brand crust along with whatever other shit you need. the great value crusts are surprisingly good and it's like 2 for $2.50. Obviously much more expensive than making it yourself but if that were an option you wouldnt be considering frozen pizza.

Red baron brick oven.

>>19733662
load up on the costco 4packs for $11. theyre the best ones by far.