/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19875154
>anime poster is a literal retard who has to call mommy at any slight inconvenience
shocker

Cute, let me fuck youre bussy

I had a huge jar of natural peanut butter, the kind that separates so you have to mix it before using it, and I had the brilliant idea to use an electric mixer to make the whole process go faster, since I needed a lot of it. Almost the moment I turned on the mixer, about 80% of the peanut butter was now scattered all across the kitchen.

>>19875154
Did you think ovens are built into the wall?

>>19875242
No it was just the thought of actually pulling the stove out and cleaning the side of it, the side of the counter, the floor, the cracks in the floor, and the underside of the stove felt nearly impossible to me

>>19875154
>3 month business thing in Kansas
>staying at hotel, along with other guys on project.
>have a big party, once a week. Each of us cooks something (each room has a full kitchen)
>On the last day, I decide to do some stuffed, grilled calamari, which I am pretty damned good at.
>a whole squid slides off the fucking cutting board, into the sink and halfway down the dispose-all. I'm so pissed, I just turn it on.
Somehow, the damned thing chews up the squid, backfeeds and barfs squid chunks all over the ceiling and even BEHIND the fucking fridge.
>what the hell am I gonna do?
Then I remember I'm leavin' on a jet plane, in the morning and it's not my problem. Time to Party...

>>19875177
be nice

>>19875154
I am imagining pinning you down and forcibly filling you up with my daddybatter, my man gravy, my secret alime action

Was too lazy to get a proper vessel for deep frying and just used a pan and filled it too high and when I dropped the food in it it just spilled everywhere plus it made a lil splash which made it spill even more hehe XD

>>19875629
no

>>19875242
Do you think skinny little twinky OP could move an oven all by xerself?

>>19875626
Lol

>>19875154
I dropped a pizza face-down on the carpet once and it took forever to get all the cheese cleaned up

I used to keep glass bottles of olive oil on top of my fridge (it's not very tall), until one time I put a nearly full bottle of garlic-infused oil back up there, but not very stably, and it wobbled and fell off and shattered on the tile floor into a huge slippery pool of tiny glass blades and needles.

>>19875154
>The piping bag exploded

>>19875154
>yurifag
>lives with his parents
>can't do basic tasks
checks out

>>19876547
*her aaand I dont need to do basic tasks because my gf does them for me

>>19876786
You will never be a woman, and neither will your boyfriend.

>>19875154
I was using a small electric countertop portable oven thing and put something on for 10 minutes that I probably should have only put on for 1, opened the door and the whole thing burst into flames and broke the machine
Maybe I could have fixed it but my mother was insistent I throw it out, was gonna fish it out the bin but then I also had to throw some other stuff in the bin on top of it so disgusting I was never gonna be able to pull it out

I drank two bottles of red wine and passed out, only to vomit everything back up in my sleep.

>>19876835
Based, I did this with rum once. It was a very unpleasant surprise.

>>19875314
>A thing you should be doing at least a few times a year as part of a regular cleaning schedule felt nearly impossible to me
Become nonliving

>>19876547
>animu
Not in a position to criticise anyone else you massive faggot.
You’re all fucking cancer.

>>19877106
Hi /pol/

>>19876786
nice LARP OP, you're really making me laugh.

mayonnaise was left in the fridge for years so i carefully grabbed the top of it to put it in the trash but it wasnt screwed on all the way and the rug still smells like 2 year old mayonnaise

>>19877423
eww, kitchen rugs are always disgusting

>>19877423
>>19877484
Specifically got a machine washable rug to put down in front of the stove for this exact reason

>Be me
>17ish
>Birthday is in the weekend
>Mum is going away
>Friend catches bus over from a town over to stay for the weekend
>Get piss drunk on Friday night
>There's a massive plate of leftover spagbol in the fridge
>Reheat it in the microwave
>As I'm pulling it out I drop it
>Drop plate, some spaghetti goes on the bench, most of it on the floor and the plate breaks
>Look my mate dead in the eye and push the spaghetti off the bench onto the floor with the rest of it
>Already equipped with forks we just lie on the ground on our stomachs and remove the pieces of plate and start eating
I don't even remember if I wiped up afterwards.

>>19875216
>>19875154
>>19876547
>>19877423
>>19877282
Kys pedophile

>>19875154
My girlfriend is a chef and I asked her to teach me how to cook soup but I ended up getting too familiar with vegetables and added too much cream in the soup

>>19875154
One time i was drunk and made a huge pot of jap curry. It took me like 2 or 3 hours after carmelizing the onions and making the roux. At some point i decided to lift the pot for some reason and i dropped it and it spilled all over my kitchen floor, under the oven, under the refrigerator. My floor was probably 10 sq feet at the time. It covered the entire floor. In my drunk depressed autist rage i started screaming and crying and wanting to kill myself. I heard my neighbors mocking me through the walls.

>>19875154
Dropped a Pyrex dish on to a tile floor.

>>19876547
I wasn't living with my parents at the time, I was in college in an apartment
However I am living with my parents now. But I'm employed!

A big canister of breadcrumbs got knocked off a shelf and exploded all over the kitchen floor and beneath the refrigerator. I also dropped a bottle of soy sauce once and wanted to kill myself for a week afterwards.

>>19879112
>i'm employed!
Based. Already better than 90% of this board.

>>19875184
your*

Correlle on tile. Pyrex is a close second. I hate pulling shards out of my feet.

>>19879254
A couple of months ago I accidentally jammed a glass shard that was wedged into my chair mat into my heel. I acted like a tough bitch and dug around in the wound with a thumbtack, then managed to find the shard and wedge it out.
Felt really proud of myself about that.

>>19878651
>I heard my neighbors mocking me through the walls.

>>19879326
Yeah, they're not bad. I've had thorns embedded into my knuckles and metal shavings in my arms and legs. The first aid for glass does my head is though. It might be a personal fear, but pulling the ceramic slivers out of the top of your feet, trying not to break them on extraction before even getting to the blood below your pets is horrifying to me.

>>19879448
pets was meant to be feet. I'm not sure how that fuckup happened.