/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20271014
What the fuck why are you posting a good opinion on /ck/? As the OP even? Really anon?

>>20271014
WHERES THE CAKE?!

>>20271014
They should divert all the desert nuts and cream cheese frosting to carrot cake so that we can launch them into the sun all at once and for all

I agree but the most important part of any cake for me is a thick layer of frosting.

>>20271024
cram yourself

>>20271014
Carrot cake with just carrot and cream cheese icing is clearly superior and I'm glad someone finally said it.

>>20271036
Cream cheese frosting is gross
Icing is clear
If you're going to eat any kind of vegetable cake the superior frosting would be something like an orange buttercream with chocolate ganache piping
Don't try to make the frosting heathy, too

>>20271014
minus pineapple and nuts and Im in

>>20271014
>Carrot Cake should be full of debris.
Alright let me just go to the nearest demolished building real quick.

>>20271146
Im more of a shrapnel fan

>>20271014
carrot cake in my country is completely different, it's smooth and light orange, usually topped with ganache

>>20271055
Buttercream doesn't go with anything. It tastes almost as bad as marzipan. At least marzipan has decorative purposes. Buttercream is midwest boomer tier trash.

>>20271316
Buttercream is objectively the best frosting
I say this as a former professional baker
Kindly please make it right and correct yourself before you wreck yourself

>>20271325
yeah I wonder why its "former"
fucking retard

>>20271337
No I sucked at baking bread, I was a natural at cake decoration, but that's a tiny element in baking
Also baking is fucking gross and all your clothes and shoes and even your car just gets caked (no pun intended) in raw dough, frosting, icing, and grease

>>20271343
>listen to my baking opinions I was a professional
>I cant bake bread though
buttercream sucks and youre gay

>>20271349
Bread is the hardest thing to bake, any variation yields a dramatically different product, and the variations are innumerable from flour humidity to ambient humidity to proof time, temp, mix temp...
You can alter this during the dough-making process by using different yeasts or a poolish, storing your flour in a fixed climate for a year or so, but even still, in the end, you have to be able to taste the raw dough and adjust it before you even start fermenting it
All you're saying is that you've never worked a floor mixer, sheeter, and you haven't had decent bread, which is fine, maybe some day you will
Don't wear an apron in the chef's style or it will get sucked into the sheeter, and if you do, carry a box cutter or you'll break your fingers trying to stop the machine
Also get some shoes from the Goodwill because there is no way to clean them, you just have to throw them away, hopefully in someone else's dumpster because they'll be fire hazards

>>20271370
not reading all that u sux lole

>>20271383
You did and we both know it

>>20271385
I skimmed

>>20271394
Appreciate it. You know what rocked about baking?
I was jacked AF; any dude who moves 2-5 tons of products on his back a day is gonna carve a figure
Also the last thing you want to eat, regardless of the slampigs that rolled in every other day, is a fucking sticky bun

>>20271014
Personally I prefer it as a pineapple cake with cream cheese frosting

>>20271403
What line of work are you in now?

>>20271428
I work in marketing in the small arms industry
I say that with an asterisk because I took the last year off, my wife was diagnosed with cancer

>>20271014
I love pineapples, but wouldn't they be a bit strong for carrot cake?

>>20271442
Oof, I hope she’s doing well and that you’re holding up alright.

>>20271428
>What line of work are you in now?
It's been about a year since I left the baking job but currently I masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

>>20271454
She's in a lot of pain and is drinking about a liter of whisky a day, she doesn't want to take any painkillers
We can't have kids now so I'm spreading my knowledge about cooking here, been doing it for like, 30 years, I know these faggots will just call me a nigger trans BF but I hope a few people will gain some things

This timeline hasn't been kind to me, Anon. I just wanted to be normal, but I guess I have to be outstanding. I wish us all the best.

>>20271463
I can’t say that I know the full depth of that feel, but a person that tries to enrich the worthy few, even in the middle of their own struggle, is the best of us.

I came for the carrot cake, I leave longing for the best for you and your wife anon.

>>20271498
i also came on the carrot cake

>>20271055
>Cream cheese frosting is gross
Finally someone said it. Cheesecake is gross too. Sugar and cheese do not belong.

>>20271463
Where do you live, anon. You know, in case your wife dies, and you happen to be bisexual.

>>20271486
It's fucking wierd
To have your wife
Your wife
Tell you you're no longer beholden to her, that you should find another woman, because she'd no longer a woman, not with her cancer, and you should find someone else
I mean, how is she not my ride or die bitch, and now she's ride and die

>>20271505
Colorado and she OK'd her sister-in-law but she doesn't have any BiLs so you're shit out of luck

>>20271014
Have you tried making a Drunken Carrot Cake?
It's like a cross between carrot cake and fruitcake

if it's full of random lawn sweepings it isn't a carrot cake, it's a fruit cake, just like OP

I just made carrot cake and put pecans and forgot to put cranberries and coconut strips in
Pineapple is ass

>>20271519
>Colorado
I was half joking but it's amusing that we're actually in the same state. If you change your mind any time in the next decade or so, just make a "middle aged widower jacked ex-baker makes a carrot cake with buttercream frosting" thread on /ck/ and I'll find it. I hope we all make it some day.

>she OK'd [my sister] but [I don't] have any [brothers] so you're shit out of luck
What.

>>20271519
wouldnt her sister in law be your own sister
based

>>20271519
>she OK'd her sister-in-law but she doesn't have any BiLs so you're shit out of luck
Hmmmm

>>20271019
Just take a slice you
you DOUBLE NIGGER

>>20271014
That's actually a real confetti cake bro. You take base for carrot cake, and add zucchini and squash. Very good.

>>20271623
>>20272165
>>20272176
Her brother's wife's sister
I forgot I had brothers last night, so you are in luck, I was thinking of my SIL's family, all women
I got two bros and one's a zoomie whose crush is a tomboy and was like, am I gay? SMDH
It's weird the conversations you run into in these situations
Mostly cancer convos but seriously, tomboys

>>20271014
What about these nuts?

>>20271014
<Gulp>

Thinking of doing a carrot cake one of these for Easter

>>20272558
post it if you do it

>>20271014
Coconut doesn't go in any carrot cake. Not pineapple. Wtf. It isn't an ambrosia.

>>20272558
I thought these were supposed to be made of butter.

>>20272773
Can't make pineapple upside-down cake without pineabbles
Or cherries but they don't go in the name for whatever reason
Coconuts can fuck right off, though, we're on the same page there

>>20272782
imagine getting filtered by coconut lol

>>20272773
>>20272782
coconut is the ultimate pleb filter

>>20272795
Coconuts go in curry, not cake
Imagine making chicken cake
I've actually had weird chicken cake in Tunis, I think it's originally Moroccan, it's weird, it's like a powdered sugar chicken donut and they eat it for dessert

>>20272806
type of faggot to have an unironic autistic meltdown at someone putting pineapple on pizza

>>20272806
People say the same thing about carrot itself, dipshit.

>>20272798
I'll eat it just fine i just don't love it. Its not the taste either. It's a consistency issue. Idk why but it feels weird. All the same, ill stfu and eat it if somebody serves it.

>>20272815
I like pineapple, I said so
Pineapple and anchovies and IDGAF about Joe Rogan I've been eating that shit for 20+ years
>>20272816
I also said carrot cake is gross, make a normal cake
How fucked are people's self esteem that they can't just enjoy a piece of yellow cake
People say it's boring, how the fuck can that even be, it's cake! "I know what this needs, legumes" uh, no, fuck that

>>20272836
>I also said carrot cake is gross
No you didn't.

>>20272836
if you were in charge of anything mankind would still be collectively banging rocks together in caves
you have no vision and no ability to make any difference, your children will resent you and your bloodline will die nameless

>>20272845
It was implied
>>20272879
Nobody likes carrot cake they just tell themselves they do because they're afraid of eating good cake
My mom's like this, she's always afraid of eating meat and chocolate and anything tasty because her sister's taller and her mom treated my aunt better because of it
Liking carrot cake is a form of self-abuse

>>20272894
the absolute fatty cope stench of you

>>20272894
>It was implied
You entered a thread specifically about carrot cake and proceeded to complain about everything that isn't carrot cake. It absolutely was not implied.
And even if it WAS implied, you still never SAID it, which is what you claimed to have done. Take the L on this one, it's over.

>>20272904
Bruh, I'm one of those skinny guys who just eats whatever and I hardly exercise so there's no good reason for any of it, but don't worry, I'm always, always cold
Funfetti4lyfe carrots get wrecked

>>20273004
>who just eats whatever
except for anything not suited to a childs palate

>>20272894
bitch i love carrot cake. i live for it. i put rum suace on that shit. im making carriot cake for my birthday. im gonna buy premade carrot cake today because im lazy. the best birthday cake i made was a jaffa cake. but the second best? carrot cake and thats only because i forgot the rum suauceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>20272264
You guys do a loaffundme?

(just light joke, I mean gofundme)

>>20273216
mr funny bones over here

>>20273216
I really, really appreciate the sentiment
She doesn't want anyone to know, only her immediate family and her boss know about it
She kind of got pissed when I told her brother but I was like Christ, woman, I gotta be able to talk about this with someone

Last summer I rescued a baby crow from a peregrine falcon and his whole crow family would come and visit me every morning after that, and then in the evenings when they'd go back to their roost
They've migrated and I haven't seen them since August but I hope they come back soon
Next time you go to the store get some unsalted peanuts, make some crow friends, that would make me happy
They also like hard-boiled eggs but that's a special treat, not an every day thing

>>20273216
Ha ha, a classy and ribbing joke, good sir!
Take my upvote, you've earned it.

>>20271442
>I work in marketing
>my wife got cancer
There is a God.

>>20273470
There is more honesty in a single shill than there is in the rest of journalism, combined

>>20273593
>rest of journalism
First of all, advertising / marketing isn't journalism, and secondly, modern journalists are just marketers and propagandists (which is just marketing but for the government.) Journalists suck because they're marketers, and marketers suck for the same reason.

>>20273603
>advertising / marketing isn't journalism
Anyone who loves the law or sausages should never watch either being made
Like I said, at least I'm honest about it

>>20273631
What the fuck are you talking about, retarded? Actual journalism is about finding the truth and exposing it. Marketing is about lying to and/or manipulating people in order to sell them something. The two have very little to do with each other, which is why it's so despicable when journalists just act like marketers for the government or the corporations. The only acceptable form of marketing is a black and white spec sheet.

>>20273310
I bought a book years ago called 'The Language of Crows' and it was a really interesting read. I think it even came with a DVD that had short videos and images about crows too, and the author had signed each copy. We just have jackdaws around here, but I always have found crows interesting. Like the dogs of the sky.

>>20273603
The problem is marketing without ethics. Inb4 'marketing ethically is an oxymoron'

I can respect someone who extolls the virtues of a product they personally believe in. It's when lines are fudged and lying by omission becomes acceptable that things start going tits up

>>20273694
see
>>20273635
>The only acceptable form of marketing is a black and white spec sheet.

>>20273635
There are much higher ethical standards in marketing than journalism outside of citizen journalism, I know this, because I started out in traditional, mainstream journalism
If you don't tow the line they take away your access and try to destroy you, and if you succeed they might even try to kill you
Journalists have no idea how marketers pull their strings, either, for the most part
When you openly admit that you have a bias and a motive, doors actually open for you
Then I can decide whether or not I want to promote or criticize an event, product, conduct, based on my own moral and ethical standards
Standards that were too high for me to continue as a regular newsie
Yes, there are blatantly evil people in marketing, too
But in marketing you get to pick a side. Journalists have to obey their superiors

>>20273686
I legit think they understand some human speech
I stuffed that little guy so full of peanuts and ice cubes last summer that his family started guarding our house
I had a friend come out for the Fourth of July and he was like, WTF was that, and I was like, Oh, shit, I didn't introduce you to my crows, they like peanuts and don't like strangers

>>20273730
This is all just literal cope you tell yourself to try to convince yourself you didn't make a lateral move ethics-wise.

All it needs is carrot, onion, garlic, celery and rosemary.

>>20273709
My B, I assumed you were being literal

>>20272187

>>20273795
Nah I get to work with some awesome charities and conservation groups and I haven't gotten any death threats since 20...10?

>>20273926
I think what's saddest about marketers is that they're the biggest victims of their own horseshit.

>>20273936
No it was Scientologists

>>20273940
It's everyone who bases his life around deceiving others. First, they must deceive themselves.

>>20273795
NTA but you know 'cope' and other 4chan buzzwords are so overused that unless you're able to articulate your comment in a way that doesn't fall back to it, it's easy to just write you off as another ape shitposter. So, try again.

>>20273955
That's why I said it's literally cope, as in not the meme sense of the word, but the regular definition, in that he has a conscience and is smart enough to trick himself into thinking he's not leading an unethical life based around deception and manipulation.

>>20273959
I tell people about veterans charities and the Warrior Dog Foundation, shit like that, if they want to contribute it's up to them
If you think that's crooked, man, take a break from the Internet for a little while
Touch grass is overused here, too, but maybe go feed some birds, if you have dog or cat treats they like those, too

>>20273795
He's not wrong, working with marketing is literally being paid to lie and fool people, I don't know how this is legal.

>>20273996
90% of large corporate-style non-profits are literal scams lmao

>>20274007
I know, which is why I try to steer people away from guys like the Wounded Warriors
Also volunteering makes a difference, it's a lot harder to skim money off a gift of time

>>20274043
Personally, I just donate it to Muslim activism of my preference.

>>20271014
Smooth cake texture between smooth layers of cream cheese is what makes carrot cake so pleasant. You can put a small amount of something in it if you really want, but only limited to one filling and kept subtle. Like you should only be tasting it maybe every other bite.

>>20273730
a healthy person could not have typed this

>>20274043
Exactly. Slavery is impossible to exploit.

>>20272894

There is some weird retarded baits going on in this thread, but I like carrot cake. I am not lying to myself or pretending its healthy. I just like it more than most cakes. You are projecting. Next you'll tell me I can't like Red Velvet cake I should just like chocolate cake - when I like red velvet cake but don't like most chocolate cake (oh it's chocolate anon you silly retard!) ah, but it tastes distinct.

I'm sorry. I'm a Swiss purist. Carrot cake needs carrots. Not pineapple. Not raisins. If you're doing the Aargauer version, then the flour can be swapped for almond flour and the eggs should be separated and the yolks and albumens beaten separately and recombined like when making a souffle.

>>20272779
There's nothing stopping you from having a butter lamb, a lamb cake, and lamb chops all on one Easter.

>>20274432
You Swiss are so fucking autistic and dedicated to your little crafts / tasks that you don't notice or care that you're sharing your country with slave-owning globalist aristocrats!

>>20274589
Renting land for these people is the core of the Swiss economy.

>>20274592
You're all in secret societies and eat dog on Christmas.

>>20274596
Not really, Swiss is a mix of a bastion against social and economic issues found on the West, and a great leisure stop. All with easy access for dirty money.

>>20274607
You aid and abet economic terrorists.

>>20274624
Calm down /pol/

>>20274624
if not switzerland, bulgaria woulda dunnit

>>20274589
>You Swiss
Eh. Maybe it was a poor choice of words to say I'm a Swiss purist. I'm a purist to the Swiss way of making carrot cake. I'm not Swiss myself. Swiss-adjacent since my mum's Swiss and I've got family I visit in Switzerland but I'm not a Swissizen.
>you don't notice or care that you're sharing your country with slave-owning globalist aristocrats!
And why would you think that my family and I are not those very aristocrats? I mean... we're not... but you wouldn't know that.
Either way, that doesn't change the fact that carrot should be carrot and not pineapple.

>>20274645
doesn't make it right
>>20274636
eat shit, faggot
>>20274655
>And why would you think that my family and I are not those very aristocrats
Because most people aren't one of them.

>>20274350
You have no idea how corrupt "journalism" is
>>20274405
I like red velvet more than I like chocolate, but let's be honest, if you took 100 people and offered them a piece of cake, and their options were chocolate, red velvet, and carrot, and they could eat them in a room by themselves without anyone watching them, you'd be down a lot of chocolate cake
Some red velvet (which again, I like more than chocolate when it's the real stuff, which it usually isn't)
And like, maybe seven pieces of carrot cake, not even a whole cake (the eighth person would eat chocolate cake in protest of there not being zucchini cake because evil exists in this world, and they don't realize it's themselves)

>>20274705
Journalists and marketers should all die.

>>20274708
Now that, at least, is a better take than journalists are above public relations
Don't call me "Sir," I work for a living

>>20274705
>more people like X so nobody likes Y
Let me guess, you DID eat breakfast this morning.

>>20274722
Calm down Dornan, journalists are sub humans.

>>20274730
Honestly most of them are just really, really stupid
At my old bar there were a lot of journalists and I closed that shop five nights a week with this one chick, so I of course asked for her name, and she was like, "Chivaun" and before I could even bother finishing the sentence "Oh that's an interesting name, do you spell it--"" and she was like "it's spelled Ess-Eye-Bee..." and seriously the only interaction I had with her in three years of closing that place was her being a dumb airhead
My fucking wife speaks Gaelic, I just thought it would be a nice way to connect to someone, she wasn't the ass/pussy that she thought she was

>>20274777
>Honestly most of them are just really, really stupid
I guess this fits into "subhuman".

>>20271014
Hundred percent agreed, rum soaked golden raisins and dates too.

>>20271370
>Cant clean shoes from baking
Just plain wrong. Grab yourself a pair of rubber clogs. I get that flour will fuck up a lot of shoes, I did the prep shift for a Neapolitan Pizzeria, but once my first pair died I got rubber clogs. Was perfect. Would just spray them off at the end of every shift before I cleaned the sink up.

>>20274893
Those didn't exist when I was a baker, thank you for the wholesome reply, though, you are who the world turns around on

>>20274777
I don't get it. She's stupid because she anticipated your question and proceeded to answer it before you asked? Maybe you're just embarrassed about her predicting you so easily.

>>20274777
>Ess-Eye-Bee.
But that's not how you spell it in gaelic. Neither is Chivaun. It's Siobhan. Ess Eye Owe Bee Haitch Ei En

>>20275023
This desu. Great story to prove that the other anon is, in fact, the biggest fucking retard on the planet.

>>20271014
Only if you hate carrots.

>>20271036
And just cinnamon for seasoning, right?

>>20274777
No she was dumb for a bunch of reasons, but one of them was assuming only she knew Gaelic
>>20275641
Yeah I know I fucked that up, but I didn't want to delete the post and make another post

>>20271036
>just carrot and cream cheese icing
That isn't a cake, it's vegetables with a poor choice of sauce.

>>20276147
This meant for
>>20275023

>>20274705
Despite loving carrot cake, I wouldn't eat any of it in this situation because of exactly the sort of shit going on ITT. This situation would probably be set up by anglos, who hate vegetables and will do everything they can to cover them up while pretending they enjoy eating vegetables. Just as they wince as they choke down their vegetable smoothies rather than having veg with lunch and dinner, they add shit to carrot cake. Pineapples and dried fruit do not belong in carrot cake.
I wouldn't have any of the three because I don't like chocolate cake and red velvet is just chocolate+dye (unless it's the better, beetroot version, which is unlikely).

>>20276290
>anglos, who hate vegetables
we conquered the world in search of better tasting food and set the first international trade routs over spices because we came from the north were we had survived on a basic few vegetables for millennia.
We don't hate them we are just so board of them that we risked death on glorified canoes to travel for months across oceans to lands filled with cannibalistic 7'ft tall ape men just so we could get some flavorful tree bark.

We still eat cabbage but why the fuck would we get excited over it?
I guess i shouldn't talk shit considering your culture never invented agriculture so you had to eat mud cookies and bugs so if that were the case i'm sure i would be excited over some cabbage

>>20276386
The mesoamericans had more sophisticated agriculture and cleaner cities than Europeans, but unfortunately they did not have better weapons.

>>20276290
The best red velvet cake uses that acid-converted chocolate not beets or dye

>>20276401
We all know what happen to societies that rely on oceans for their protection (Aztecs, Inca, the US) when foreigners land.

>>20276426
that only means anything for societies that cant make sea faring ships

>>20276436
It means the same for societies who never had to endure a proper war, they can often field huge militareis, but they crumble in contact with enemies.

>>20276386
>We still eat cabbage but why the fuck would we get excited over it?
I legit get excited over vegetables in general. Certainly more than I do meat. Don't get me wrong: I like and eat meat but literally all of my favorite dishes are at least veg-centric if not outright vegan or vegetarian. I lose my shit over a dish we make where I'm from based on rice, cabbage, tomato and garlic. It's so fucking good.

>>20276386
Also
>your culture never invented agriculture
lol'ing@u, negro
My ancestors had plumbing and basic computers when yours were still wearing loincloths and chucking spears lmao

>>20276386
>>20276913
Who gives a fuck about what your ancestors did? It wasn't even most of your ancestors who did that shit; it was a few smart dudes and then a bunch of fucking retards fighting over ancient feuds, same as today. Your petty tribalism holds us all back. Have loyalty to your family members and the people you live near, have loyalty to your nation, but don't act like whatever groups you're apart of are superior to all the rest and that you're anything other than a bunch of flawed human beings trying to get through life. A person can self-assured and look out for himself and like himself without dominating others or getting into fights all the time, and so can cities and nations and civilizations. Blessed are the peacemakers.

>>20276913
Last week?

>>20276923
>she says, after doing the exact same thing she's chiding someone else for

>>20276948
You seem to be confusing me with another poster.

>>20276923
You're right. We should unite and destroy the upper class tyrants rather than fight amongst ourselves.

>>20276953
Yes, the freemason aristocrats and their court jews must be removed from society.

>>20276913
It's even worse than that since the Anglo Is taking credit for trade routes the Italians started. They didn't discover shit and were barely involved in the spice trade. The majority of British overseas ventures from the age of exploration and the empire dealt with sugar, tobacco, cotton and mining.

>>20276965
TAKING CREDIT FOR SHIT OTHER PEOPLE DID IS RETARDED ON ALL LEVELS
NONE OF YOU EVER OPERATED A SPICE ROUTE
NONE OF YOU EVER DEVELOPED AN ARGICULTURAL TECHNIQUE
FUCK OFF

>>20276970
>NONE OF YOU EVER DEVELOPED AN ARGICULTURAL TECHNIQUE
Would you like to bet? : )

>>20276985
Yes.

>>20276993
I was part of a team in Ontario that developed apivectoring

>>20277000
Cool, I'm gonna find you and kill you.

>>20277000

>>20277000
Are you a woman, or a 70 year old man? Because if you're not either of those things, then your name isn't on the paper, and you didn't develop shit.

>>20271014
Should be called compost cake. Nasty slop.

>>20271014
Sauce?

>>20277059
©greedyeats dot com

>>20277070
>go to greedyeats.com
>it's all kosher recipes