/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20419128
PISS
OUT
MY
ASS

>>20419128
>coffee time general
more like faggot time general
coffee is for caffeine, nothing more. anything else makes you a fucking faggot

>>20419128
You can tell she has brain damage from the chemex.

>>20419149
You can tell she has brain damage from how fat she is.

>>20419159
That's a SHE?

>>20419174
they do things differently up north

I’m probably a lost cause, but what kind of coffee should I try if I’m normally not a coffee drinker. I’m trying to branch out and away from soda, but I really only like frappuccinos from what I’ve tried and that’s essentially just a milkshake. I hate lattes. I think it may just be the hot milk that’s undesirable to me, but if anyone has recommendations for trying to get into coffee I’d appreciate it

>>20419149
really unfair to call xer retard for using one of the only american contributions to coffee

>>20419275
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-iNAyu-ejo

>>20419275
>I think it may just be the hot milk that’s undesirable to me
iced lattes

>>20419128
I saw this goblin waddling around with its father at the SCA expo last weekend. even the aroma of two hundred simultaneous pour overs and espresso shots could not mask the putrid smell emanating from them.

>>20419279
Invented by a German, financed by Americans.
>The Chemex Corporation was incorporated in New York State in late 1939. The directors were Schlumbohm himself, Isaac Harter, an acquaintance from Ohio, and Edward Turner who was given a minority holding of one share in order to meet the incorporation law's requirement that two thirds of a company's directorate be American citizens.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Schlumbohm

>>20419119
what an unfortunate woman

>>20419128
she looks like this lil champ

>>20419122
That was me, It turned out to be user error, I was grinding too fine or not fine enough and the shots were taking 45+ seconds. Im dialed in and it is working perfectly now. I still do not recommend the 870 tho, 840 is a solid deal though.

>>20419455
While we're on breville user error, you know how the gauge is laid out right?
https://espressoaf.com/manufacturers/breville/preinfusion.html

>>20419437
why u haf two be meen bro?

is there an equivalent of this that is small batch or not as commercial?
i have been grinding small batch using clever dripper for close to two years now, picked this up because i'm lazy in the morning and it was 10 bux and it gets me feeling fucking good. but i want something more niche.

>>20419471
yeah, why is espresso so hard to make bros

>>20419525
google "coffee roasters near me" or consult the pastebin
most specialty roasters dont go that dark but you might find someone that does

Wow guys i just love shrinkflation!
Im so excited for coffee to be sold in 4oz bags
We are close.
So close.
8oz is already a new standard,
16oz is dead outside of the supermarket
Soon, you will be able to get your geisha beans fermented in the armpits of Mayan women in a handy 4oz bag!

>>20419525
Probably close to what you're looking for.
https://onyxcoffeelab.com/products/monarch?variant=31861823176802
https://onyxcoffeelab.com/products/eclipse?variant=31891087884386

>>20419553
If you're not buying 100g bags, are you really a fan of coffee?
https://roguewavecoffee.ca/collections/limited-roast/limited-roast

>>20419553
4oz of ORGANIC Colombian only $10!

>>20419553
just roast your own beanz

>>20419543
is his mug made from uranium?

>>20419128
With these recent OPs, it's like you want the thread to be stagnant.

>>20420585
I've been lazy and the schizo has mad the last two.

Ahhh, there's nothing like microwaving a big mug of water in the morning and throwing in a couple teaspoons of these delicious freeze dried coffee crystals. The tasters had a choice, and they chose Taster's Choice.

todays coffee is(sold out)

>>20419525
Why do coffee people call themselves stuff like BLACK DARKNESS ABYSS DEATH GRINDERS CO like nigga you make coffee you are not in the military

I mixed a scoop of vanilla ice cream in with what is probably the best cheap preground coffee grounds you can get, which is Edwards. Cheers brothers.

>>20420913
Oh nice, how was that? I was hovering around that and went with their East Timor bag they have at the moment instead.

>>20421087
hey i have that same loveramics clear 180ml twisted glass... i used it this morning
and i just bought a bag of that natural timor leste
...
damn thats spooky
um i had my first cup so i dont know if the grind size is right yet but it was good
a little bitter on the finish but thats a brew issue not a grind issue i think
i wanted a larger cup this morning so i had a longer extraction.
smells like a roasted turnips with a honey glaze.(i know because i made a stew with roasted turnips with a honey glaze last winter and i remember the smell, roasted turnip has a unique scent)
i would say medium body. but decently bright.

who else here is doing late night goffee? 12:30 am here

>>20419553
The only Geisha in Mexico is in Chiapas and any other grower with it gets shot by the cartel

Waited 30 mins for my coffee today. A little bit of chill in the air and everyone suddenly wants coffee.

>>20421343
My dad does this and wonders why he cant sleep. I try and tell him but he rekons goffee doesnt affect him

>>20421395
i'm sorry you dad sounds retarded

>>20421395
>>20421423
temptation of a midnight goff is too much
even the strongest men cant resist

>>20421433
What to drink when too late for goffee? I like a hot cocoa but in for other ideas. Maybe some sleepytime tea would hot the spot

I was gifted coffee in bean form, will my local coffee shop grind it for me for free or will I have to suck the barista's dick?

>>20421439
I love green tea
>>20421442
But a cheap grinder from the thrift store.

>>20421439
too late for... goffee?
sorry i dont understand the question.

>>20421439
Decaf goff

>>20421447
Anon I've taken an oath to NEVER drink decaf coffee. It's the "no death 'til decaf" creed.

>>20421450
no, i believe its "death before decaf"

>>20421450

>>20421454
>granite countertop

>>20421453
shhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>20421446
does goffee make you more awake?

>>20421460
goffee gives me superpowers

>>20421460
no not really
i had a coff a couple hours ago and im already falling asleep
and i have a great night sleep every day
caffeine just affects people differently

>>20420913
oh another ausfag.
Five senses & Paradox are really the main rosters I use.
I did an espresso using a flair and it worked surprisingly well.

>>20421464
lucky goffee dringer gets to safely drink more goff than us

>>20421470
i would say my normal intake is probably 300-600mg of caffeine
but i feel like "natural caffeine" affects me in a much smoother way than like "artificial caffeine" from say energy drinks.

I don't have one of those funny straws so I've been adding some yerba mate to my French press coffee lately.
Really perks me up, but doesn't do the taste any favours, so don't bother trying it with the gourmet shit.

>>20421475
although caffeine affects you differently you are still subject to it's health risks like 1000mg would be a not so good idea?
i seldom drink energy drinks so did not realize artificial caffeine hits different

>>20421480
well i would never go that high
the average adult can consume 400mg every day with zero issues
but from what i have heard it seems like alot of people get "jittery" or their heart hurts and so on if they drink just 2 normal cups
so i think for me who seems to have a decent resistance to caffeine that 300mg(less than average) to 600mg(above average) of caffeine isnt really that much.
but i wouldnt recommend others drink as much as i do or drink at the same times of day that i do
like listening to hoffmann, he says if he drinks like any caffeine after midday his sleep and his mind is just fucked for like the next day
which is unimaginable for me.
also i would imagine that the natural oils of coffee help with the processing of caffeine, so energy drinks that just have a chemical compound and no oils it would digest differently
something i have noticed is if i drink 1-2 small redbull my mind is fucked and my day probably ruined
but i could drink 3 monster zero ultra(500ml,160mg caffeine) back to back and fall asleep instantly
i know this because i did it a few days ago.

but i just did some reading and apparently taurine acts as a sedative and there is 2000mg of it in each can of zero ultra
so perhaps my body is being saturated with more taurine than it can handle and combined with my innate resistance to caffeine, that shit just puts me right to sleep.
i wonder if people added taurine to their coffee if it would help them have less of a reaction to it.
same as some people do with L-theanine

>>20421491
a few years back i used to add a small scoop of L-theanine to my cuppas it had no negative effects that i can remember and maybe a smoothing thing
once the bag was finished i did not see the need to order it again though
when you consume above average you don't even get jittery?

>>20421462

>>20421500
>you don't even get jittery?
never

>>20419128
fuck this dumbass fat retarded cunt

freshly ground costa rica pour over with a splash of cream and a teaspoon of raw honey ;-)

>>20421685
No, thanks.

>>20421685
>fuck this dumbass fat retarded cunt

>>20419528
wala

>>20421698
based

wtf bros

>>20421721
why so small?

>>20421726
gomenasai

>>20421721
>>20421732
>reverse search results in morgan eckroth photography
that's not morgan right?

New washed castillo beens by Hector & Eduardo Estrada from Finca El Silencio, Antioquia, La Sucia Palmitas.

>Colombia at the heart of Finca El Silencio

>Discover an exceptional coffee that comes from Colombia, more specifically from the El Silencio farm. The coffee is of Antioquia Microlot quality, it undergoes the washed treatment to reveal the well acid and fruity character of the grain. The variety of coffee produced is Castillo, moreover, it is one of the main varieties in the country. Hector Estrada is the director of the farm in the La Sucia subregion, Palmitas. In the heart of the Antioquia region, Hector Estrada produces on an area of 3.5 hectares and has been doing his own business for a few years. It produces at more than 1,530 meters above sea level in order to guarantee a controlled slowdown in the development of cherries, like a wine production and culture. This method consists in letting the coffee grow at the speed of time, to make it more complex. Due to the small area and size of the plantation, the majority of the established work is carried out by Hector and his wife. Hector gives itself body and soul to provide an interesting quality of coffee. In addition, the couple is only equipped with a conventional pulping machine, for the equivalent of the plantation. He washes his coffees according to secret recipe for 23 hours. Once well dried, Hector takes care of the packaging in jute bags for 8 days before exporting them to cooperatives in Antioquia.

Super tasty smol ristretto cuppa. Well delicate and balanced acidity along with bitterness. Texture is honeylike syrupy, normal for ristret but aftertaste is gentle and graceful like a woman's kiss.
Ground a bit too fine so was slow pull will see if coarser will make the acidity pop more.
I enjoy.

>>20421947
nice crema anon, cherish it.

>>20421953
Thank you anon, i will.

>>20421136
>damn thats spooky
lmao small world. The other bag sounds good though

>>20421450
a slant eyed non faggot won USA brewers cup with decaf against regular coffee

>>20422229
Old news, but a different process. Solvent dissolved vs washed and filtered. I really need to get some more LPET in.
>In 2020, seasoned competitor Cole Torode used a Swiss Water decaf process Gesha during his Canadian Barista Championship routine. Sourced from La Palma y El Tucan in Colombia, Cole described the decaf process as making the coffee taste “a little bit sweeter, and has maybe a little bit more acidity… and a little less bitterness”.

>>20422229
>american coffee is worse than decaf
We already knew that.

is coffee the new way to scam idiots?
what's the next trend gonna be? i wanna get on board early

>>20421710
>Triple shot espresso
>Café crema

I don't need more.

Fuck off with your beans fermented in bio reactors
Suck my ass you freaks
Hey guys we found 10 new and even more stupid ways to rot coffee berries, pay us $40LB

I just had turkish coffee, wtf was this shit? they pour the grounds directly into the cup, the fuck is happening?

seems like a lot but really it was just 2 fingers of coffee sitting on top of a pile of dirt. Couldn't even tilt the cup back all the way to drink it without getting some in nearly every sip

>>20419128
>When you so fugly you made an image out of hatred towards you.
There is nothing but toddlers desperation in those eyes, a clinging to that one thing that have ability to divert even a sliver of attention from you yourself.

>>20422636
That happened to me when I tried it. Was a thimble of coffee and then a bunch of sludge. I dunno how you're supposed to drink it. It felt betraying too because it smelled enticing

>>20422827
The smell gave impressions of tobacco and undercooked pizza dough
But it wasn't even drinkable, I think I managed 1 sip without getting any grit with it. Reminiscent of 100% cacao but then the tobacco turned into ash tray as the dirt filtered in
First time Ive needed a toothpick after having a drink

no hoff video on turkish?

>>20422993
I think he said he wants to do a video on it someday.

>>20422995
i don't have an opinion on turkish then

>>20422489
>plastic

>>20422631
tastelet
fermented coffee is more traditional than washed coffee

>>20422954
>>20422827
>>20422636
dont worry, wired kino has you covered
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCOg3hAp1h8

>>20422758
picture source?

>>20423268
I mean so basically in the prologue he tells us it's a terrible way to make coffee, and trying to make it taste good is more an experiment to see if you can rather than a legitimate method of brewing

>>20423259
You're gay

>>20423296
no
hes saying that turks are retarded(based) and they make their own coffee wrong
just like italians are retarded(based) and they make their own coffee wrong
traditional italian coffee is bitter and low quality
specialty coffee takes coffee and makes it not shit
also you drink turkish coffee by letting it sit so all the sediment settles and then you take a small sip and repeat this process until all that is left is sludge at the bottom
when done correctly you will not have mouthfuls of coffee grounds.

>>20419128
>expenses too high
>no coffee for the next month
doing a detox I guess. gonna be a tea poorfag

>>20423407
Drinking good tea is far more costly than drinking good coffee.

>>20423407
If you (still) have a Costco membership you can find pretty decent whole beans there for relatively cheap.

>>20423403
gunk at the bottom, sludge at the top, every step of the process needs to be carefully calibrated from start to finish or it's ruined
is it about time we accept that coffee is just kinda bad?

>>20423504
its not

>>20423407
just get peets big bang. ez.

>>20423582
>its not
even close. I could have bought 10lbs of bombe greens for the same price I paid for 300g of fresh chinese greens.

Baked some cinnamon scrolls for the morning covfefe

>>20423629
>only super premium chinese specialty tea is good tea

>>20423403
>also you drink turkish coffee by letting it sit so all the sediment settles and then you take a small sip and repeat this process until all that is left is sludge at the bottom
>when done correctly you will not have mouthfuls of coffee grounds.
Americans came up with a solution for this a long time ago.
Of course, someone will post here saying that doing it the old fashioned way is so much better, like using a straight razor to shave instead of a norelco or triple bladed razor, or they will say that it's annoying how fast food employees are supposed to follow food and health safety regulations, because that drives up costs.

>>20423655
What did you think I meant by good tea? Twinnings Australian Afternoon? Enjoy the month of shitty tea. Your shitty coffee will be waiting on the other side.

>>20423407
Just get the toucan coffee it’s pretty decent :)

This stuff is great but it breaks the budget :(

>>20423557
I was under the impression that Costco beans were shit?

>>20423403
Wait till anon finds out about Matcha

Is this too fine for pourover?

>>20419525

Any roaster's "espresso blend" most likely. Death Wish, like Bustelo, is just a blend of dark roasted arabica and robusta.

>>20423866
>Turkish coffee is prepared with a grind size distribution where 50% of the particles have a diameter of less than 100 μm
Quality matcha is ~10μm avg fwiw
>>20423886
Beautiful bed anon, cherish it.

>>20423886
You want to typically aim for grounds at the same consistency of kosher salt and get finer/coarser from there. If that's your first batch there was high likelyhood it was overextracted/bitter.

That being said, if you like the taste who cares

why the fuck can't we just all be drinking gallons of waffle house coffee every day? when did this world become so gay? Waffle house should be the only restaurant. Coffee and related should be the only beverages around. Tea. Coffee. Milk. Honey. Sassafras. Malaysia. Northgard Himalayan sea salt. That type of shit would get my freak on like a molestation victim at quinceanera

>>20420886
You're making me crave it.

>>20423912
my question is tim hortons which is apparently the official coffee of canada, and a "regular" is 1 cream 1 sugar
so basically it's an admission that their coffee is ass if the default way it's served is cream and sugar?

>>20423919
Correct. Milk is a bitter blocker. Block the bitter burn flavors, sweeten it up a bit and people chug down the slop all day.

>Anon, I hear (You)'re into coffee. What's a good coffee to buy?
How do you respond?

>>20423924
>Correct. Milk is a bitter blocker. Block the bitter burn flavors, sweeten it up a bit and people chug down the slop all day.
I was wondering why I always hated drinking person of color (Black) coffee.

>>20424001
I buy the $15/kilo lavazza from costco, it makes excellent espresso in my rocket machine

>>20424019
Garbage in garbage out. You don't have to temper out shit flavors if you don't buy shit coffee. Its easy to homogenize the taste of low quality commodity grade beans if you just roast all the origin characteristics out of them so thats what chains and mass market brands do. There's only one way to get that bitter roasty flavor.

>>20424044
>There's only one way to get that bitter roasty flavor.
...by buying shit coffee?

>>20424046
By roasting the piss out of them. Burnt oil and sugar don't taste good.

>>20423652
You used your Göffel to munch and stirr the gooey rolls and goffee right?

>>20424001

>>20424001
if the barista look like this

where do i buy a flow restricter for a .6l kettle?

>>20424612

I wonder if that dude's girlfriend approves of that tattoo

>>20424087
>>20424046
>>20424044
Why do 90 pound white bugmen use coffee beans as a placeholder for their preference in women?
Do they honestly think that telling an attractive woman that she "looks too black" would NOT get them slapped?

>>20422489
Am I the only one that taste rubber? It goes away if I remove the water coming out first but it's a bit annoying

>>20419128
Hate from Australia

>hotter than ten rats fuckin in a wool sock
need cold drink specials for the cafe, any ideas?

>>20425547
Nitro cold brew

>>20425547
>tfw its 37.4f here
feelsgoodman.png

>>20424001
i just recommend one of my local roasters because i live in a place with coffee culture thats not shit

>>20425617
already have that

>>20425386
Mine doesn't taste like rubber

It's goffee+weed time lads

So I just learned about the coffee belt: the place where almost all arabica coffee grows.

Spanning 25 degrees north and 30 degrees south of the equator, it lies snuggly between the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn.

Those countries in it:
South America – Brazil, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru
North America – Mexico, Cuba, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Jamaica
Africa – Ethiopia, Kenya, Malawi, Zambia, Rwanda, Zimbabwe
Asia – Thailand, India, Vietnam, Myanmar, Indonesia
Oceania – Australia


Almost all coffee beans come from these countries. There goes my hopes of having German, Japan, Spain, etc. coffee beans. At least I can still try robusta for the first time.

>>20425998
zoomzoom or nigger?

>>20425847
i started drinking coffee to counter the lethargy i got from smonking weed everyday
>>20425998
the more you know
you wouldnt want to drink coffee grown in Germany, anyway
but you can still try roasters from around the world

I thought Benny Hill died decades ago

>>20426017
Weed+covfefe are a wicked combo. Together they are very cerebral. And I'm an indica smoker bt w.

I've drank almosst a pot today and haven't shat my pants yet. It's a Christmas miracle.

>>20426139
You've inspired me to blogpost. Please excuse me for a moment.

Got out of bed, brewed and drank a 6 cup moka with 4 slices of honey-butter toast. Enjoyed the moka so felt like brewing another 6 cups, poured it into a 200ml cup and got approximately 2/3 of the way through before getting that vomitesque taste in my mouth which occurs after drinking too much moka, took a couple more sips before abandoning 1/4 of the cup on the countertop. Maybe I'll drink it later, maybe my mom would like a taste (she adds a small amount of coffee to her tea from time to time). Might brew decaf moka later tonight.
/blog

How's your coffee drinking going today, coffee posters?

>>20426275
Finishing up Dune Messiah right now. Think I might make some spring rolls in a min and start in on the beers I bought last night. I'm h0ngry.

why does my home espresso give me headaches and a general heavy head feeling? i try drinking lots of water or milk with it or drinking it slowly but every few cups i get the same feeling

>>20426372
You're consuming too much caffeine rart!!

>>20426275
Good morning. I woke up, put the Sopranos on and I'm currently having the last cinnamon scroll I baked with my coffee. I'm going to bake another batch this weekend but with a coffee icing~
>>20426309
I finished Messiah a few weeks ago but I started Between Two Fires by Buehlman while I wait for the next doon book to arrive.

>>20426382
Nice I haven't read that yet. I'm gonna try to finish the shit I'm reading on the occult and esotericism atm, but I'm still gonna start Children of Dune right away. I've been mostly reading on audio, not 100%, but reading it on audio makes it so much more palatable.

spritzing the beans before grinding has kind of helped with some grounds being stuck in the receptacle but i still get maybe a little spoonful stuck to the sides and in corners
is there a 100% fix for this

>>20426377
just a double shot from 15g of coffee? that’s all i drink in a day

>>20426535
It's probably too much caffeine at once. Just make a single espresso.

>mogs your 400$ equipment in 20 seconds

>>20426561
lol

>>20426561
A $17 bag of Salt Spring Island coffee from Costco completely mogs this shit in both quality and value.

Usually I take 10% half n half (what does half n half even mean anyways?) in my goff but lately my mom's been buying 18% cream and I kinda hate it. I don't need my cream to be that rich.

>>20426581
i tried half and half for a time but i felt it didnt taste different enough from whole milk to justify the calories

>>20426557
>meanwhile sipping on a 25g moka brew

Coffee with a cigarette. Is there any other way to enjoy your coffee?

>>20426581
My assumption is that half and half is composed of one half cream and one half milk.

What is half and half?

>>20426599
Of course, but I think it's also possible it could instead be half the amount of milk fat as regular cream (?).

>>20426605
But that is only one (1) half. What is the other half?

>>20426605
>Of course, but I think it's also possible it could instead be half the amount of milk fat as regular cream (?).
So what would the other half be?
Cheese?

>>20426618
>>20426619
Filter out the milk fat until desired % is acquired. 20% is full fat isn't it?

>>20426619
>What is the other half?
No, you don't understand. Now that 1/4 of the half and half is milk, the other 3/4 is cream.
Fucking dumbass.

>>20426624
WOW you're dense

>>20426622
>20% is full fat isn't it?
No. 100% would be full fat.
Coffee drinkers r dumb

>>20426634
Hmmm, double crram is 48% implying that single cteam is 24% and ready to mingle. Here's the curve ball: the highest milk fat you can achieve while still maintaining cream form is clotted cream at 58%, anything more than that would turn to butter. So which half is it?

>>20426670
>Hmmm, double crram is 48% implying that single cteam is 24% and ready to mingle. Here's the curve ball: the highest milk fat you can achieve while still maintaining cream form is clotted cream at 58%, anything more than that would turn to butter. So which half is it?
You got me, Broheim. I don't know.
You are the smartest coffee drinker on /ck/

Proof only schizos put dairy in coffee.

>>20426691
Once you add sweeteners to your goff it don't taste like goff no more. A splash of cream for some colour is different.

>>20426557
>Just make a single espresso.
>t. has never, seriously, ever, used a home espresso machine or has low standards

>>20426700
Right because I'm not a coffee nerd. I'm so sorry.

>>20426710
Well then for your further education, single baskets are fucking voodoo hateful denizens of the underworld whose sole purpose on earth is to make you miserable. In cafes they can work but on home machines they're an invention of Big Roaster to make you waste more beanz

>>20426717
Sounds like a ripoff. I'll stick to m used drip machine, thx.

>>20426710
Pathetic

>>20426695
> for some colour

I like my coffee how I like my women: blonde, sweet, fresh, hot, and creamy.

I like my cream like I like my milk: in half.

I like coffee too much to ever compare it to a woman.
Or put cream in it. Unless I fucked up the brew, anyway.

decaf moka 2nite

I like my coffee how I like myself, creamed up

>>20426593
With a croissant and a caca.
It's called 4 C

>>20427238
are you referring to defecation

>>20427243
Caca.

Went to visit as many coffee places and roasteries as I could in Oslo. First is Stockfleth in Prensens Gate. Nice koff.

>>20427275
This one's Fuglen, a roastery which has branches in Japan. Got a cortado and this skolebrod, havd a few of those - they're really nice! (see: https://www.delicious.com.au/recipes/skolebrod-norwegian-custard-buns/f5f26327-7112-4841-92d8-d2baac12e73c).).

>>20427282
That's a big ass cortado.

>>20427282
And last one, the Java espresso bar.

>>20427288
Yeah, I hadn't ordered one before. I overheard two young, esteemed-looking gentleman discussing coffee when I was in the marketplace at home and one of them mentioned a cortado being a 'gentleman's jagerbomb' so I figured that was a sign from God for me to try one. I ordered one with two shots and after asking the lady at the counter as to what it actually is, got the response that its 'half milk, half coffee'... so I told her to add an equal amount of milk!

Why do Nords like coffee so much? Is it just another Americanism they've adopted, or does it run deeper than that?

Today I had an entire pot of covfefe + a Rpckstar energy drink. I'm fucking zooted.

>>20427430
Gofe goes too well with the faggy thin cigarettes Yuros love so much

Goff.

>>20419128
Bros

I fucking love coffee but I have colitis and it basically ties me to a toilet all day if I drink even half a cup.

What the fuck do I do?

Am I just born to suffer? Anyone else in here similar?

>>20428114
Happens also woth decaf?

Anybody had excelsa?

>>20428152
Pretty sure, don't drink decaf often but I have in the past. I often also use the caffeine hit though so the utility is part of it for me.

Caffeinated soft drinks don't send me quite as hard. Almost anything seems to induce peristalsis within a few hours, the variable is how quickly it happens and how long it takes to recover.
Eat a pellet make a pellet kinda stuff. Coffee just seems to be the single worst thing, intersecting "it happens pretty quickly and suddenly" and "I won't recover for possibly a day or two"

>>20428114
did you ask a doctor?

>>20428277
Yeah he said its related to my dysphoria.

>>20428277
working on it. coffee is known terrible for UC I was just hoping someone had some magical shortcut that will let me enjoy coffee without shitting constantly

>>20428356
do you take meds that could help your condition? maybe you can drink one coffee per week i don't know

>>20428376
yeah but it sucks that's what I'm working on, and that's basically where I'm at now - I drink one cup on Saturdays or Sundays if I know I'm not going anywhere that day

I guess the upside is I don't have an over-reliance on it during the work week just to function. I do think it helps me focus though. the few times I do have it at work I feel more focused and alert of course.

>>20427521
Mediterranean Euros are different from Nordics. I understand why Meds love coffee, but why do Nords?

>>20428435
have you tried if different roast levels have an impact or maybe the beans origin, drip vs mokapot or espresso. milk vs cream sugar or black. even arabica vs robusta for science, what makes you more shitsplose or is everything the same.

kino?
https://youtu.be/5-zOtDW4AWI

>>20428518
>fat browncel
not clicking that

fatties are disgusting

>>20428518
>noooooooo why is a 250k subscriber t00ber advertising his videos to the 8 people who still post here

>>20428356
just take probiotics bro

>>20428528
we are actually 5

>>20427267
repeating yourself illuminates nothing

>>20428514
I went from an old drip maker to a chemex pour over and it doesn't seem to be as harsh. though I also started grinding beans rather than using pre ground so that may be part of it. unrelated but I can't go back to drip makers now, everything that isn't pourover tastes like shit. I chock it up to drip makers by and large being nasty as fuck and never cleaned properly

>>20428531
used to. they're so fucking expensive though and they won't help once I'm already in a flare.

>>20428479
the Dutch were among the first to colonize the coffee trade in places like Indonesia
i imagine their Scandinavian neighbors made good traders for the stuff

>>20428604
>I chock it up
*chalk it up
>>20428518
dude isnt a bad source of information but i hate how he structures his content like clickbait and berates his viewers for skipping ahead to the relevant segment

anyway, today i brewed a lovely pourover in my kalita wave with some dry processed beans from kenya
it was fantastic, very fruity and a clean acidity

I'm depressed. At least there's always weed and goffee.

>>20425727
That's what I did. But the average person doesn't drink specialty. It's a pain when they come back and say "It didn't taste good."
As if I'm responsible for their shit taste in coffee.

>>20429716
Weed liver

is coffee/caffeine actually good for your kidneys y/n?

>>20429768
There is no amount of coffee with so much caffeine in it that its diuretic effects can overcome it's ability to hydrate
You would have to straight eat coffee for that

>>20429781
Could you rephrase that with clearer grammar, please?

>>20429866
There is no amount of coffee with so much caffeine in it that its diuretic effects can overcome its ability to hydrate
You would have to straight eat coffee for that

>>20429724
teach that man to fish
all you did was lead him to water, of course he feels that youre responsible
assuming this actually happened and isnt an imagined scenario

>>20429781
>>20429872
The water content in an espresso is not going to hydrate you enough to offset the diuretic effect of its caffeine content.

>>20429747
After I die my liver will be used to discern the future by the Coffee Oracle.

>>20424001
touchy goffee you likey on screeny, easy

>>20424001
The cheapest washed.

>>20430538
Endgame home superautomatic.

>>20430201

>>20419159
You would know all things considered

Cobbee

New hoff is out

>>20431353
RoasterKat shoutout. Stonks. I should be shilling her kino more.

It's the first time I post here in months and I need a quick rundown.
Has the Giannina schizo already harmed the Trabatti guy? Did it make the news?

>>20431791
>not following the goffee novella
ngmi

iced goffee bros. sw's wuri natural @ 1:14 ratio - passion fruit and lychee with hints of choco. pineapple is gone but was there at 1:17 non-iced.

>>20431791
The schizolio bought a flair and immediately realized he was genetically incompatible with coffee, then kept posting for a few months because he was lonely. Trabatti changed the storefront to appointment only after sustained homoobsessive harassment. The storm is over.
>>20431972
Based.

>>20432083
Cheers.

this shit is basically just dirt. i want my money back walmart.

>>20432305
Did you actually expect good coffee from walmart?

>>20432321
no i expected something that tasted like coffee. i would have had a better cup of coffee if i just put dirt in my coffee maker.
fuck you faggot

>>20432305
>medium roast
>ever tasting good

>>20432305
peets big bang is not a meme. i repeat peets big bang is not a meme.

>>20432324
Post roast date.

>>20432420
what the day i roasted your mom? every single day. bitch is a hoe

>>20432423
Try Folgers.

>>20432424
no

>>20432433
You'll like it.

>>20426010
>It's the same picture

>>20432439
i like sex with your mom better.

>>20432441
She is talented.

>>20432343
Medium is fine, it's dark roast that sucks

I live in Seattle and have not been impressed so far. Anyone else in the area have any recommendations on beans? Should I just take the train down to Portland and suffer the ultra hipsters?

Starting in on the beers, now. Cheers bros.

Crema tastes awul I'm tired of pretending it's even okay. My shitty espresso machine from the good will is just as good as the expensive ones. I'm tired of googling coffee stuff and getting pretentious redditor opinions

>>20433124
Wait you mean coffee fines and oil suspended in CO2 tastes like shit? Who knew?
https://youtu.be/fEXLftYYV8o
>shitty espresso machine from the good will is just as good
No its not. You're probably getting gross crema bombs because you're running shit tier roasts off a 15bar pump with a high fines producing conical.

>>20432305
It tastes fine, quit being a baby and learn to grind your coffee right

>>20423652
Based. I dont eat much slop these days, but my weekend goffee and sgroll is still a staple.

>>20433149
I have an old krups xp1020 that makes espresso that tastes good even if it doesn't make as much crema as expensive ones. I mean it's lame that people cream themselves over how much bad tasting foam they get on their coffee instead of the actual flavor

>>20433247
It tastes good to a retard who has an old krups xp1020. Its a very low bar. Your machine is steam driven, rather than using a pump. You're using a moka pot. Those don't make espresso.

>>20433273
Mmm na. I don't listen coffee pseuds. I can get """real""" espesso anywhere and the difference in taste and texture is marginal at best. But I guess you need that cope after you let reddit trick you into buying a 1000 dollar espresso machine

>>20433350
>guess you need that cope
>My shitty espresso machine from the good will is just as good as the expensive ones

>>20433388
Your 'latte' art is made of cacao powder. Check and mate, King Nigger.

After rabbitholing for this general a while back the only espresso machines I desire are the manual lever pavonis or the olympia cremina.
I have a moka pot but dont use it much so I never invested in an esspresso machine.
I recomended and asked about the pavonis here before your influencer made them expensive.

>>20433388
>My shitty espresso machine from the good will is just as good as the expensive ones

Yes. Your shitty crema cope doesn't work on me. I don't care what the "official" organisation of coffee pseuds say.

>>20419128
starting to realize coffee hurts my tommy and gives me acid reflux :-(

>>20434413
bro they literally have a youtube video bro.
you must listen to their gospel bro.
the bigger the expense bro, the better the quality bro, we all know this bro.
bro.

>>20434425
tea chads, we just keep winning

ITS UP
https://youtu.be/EMLKaq_6KWQ

>>20434602
please abstain
obrigado

>>20434413
>>20434553
Get rid of one moka schizo and two more show up.

>>20434621
go back to discord faggot

Is the moka pot in the room with us right now?

Like roaches.

>>20434621
stfu and actually drink coffee instead of huffing your espresso ecelebs farts

>>20434764
Roasted up some Loma La Gloria red bourbon black honey, kayanza gakenke, and nyamasheke nyaco yesterday. How's that Peet's tasting?

>>20434794
I thank god every day that I don't care about whatever that means

just moka'd up my washed bourbon from PNG, shits delicious

>>20434813
Its very obvious you don't care for good coffee.

It's disgraceful you fags try to pay your way to good coffee with expensive machines. the ONLY real decent coffee you can get is turkish coffee made in basement hookah bars. It's a shame none of you will ever get to exprerience it

>>20434602
>Drip coffee

>>20434911
Just for you I'll try to make the next thread turkish edition.

Chemex
Paper filter
1Zpresso hand grinder
Some fresh whole beans
Bodum kettle

yeah, I'm thinking this is peak coffee.

Doing a coffee industry AMA here if you're interested:

>>20435098

Late afternoon espresso can't wait!

Perfectly rich and smooth without a bit of crema ruining it. Great day for good coffee

>>20435484
Grim.

>>20435511
Made it into a mean americano! Try not to be too jealous!

>>20435524
why would you do that to yourself?

>>20435524
>dark roast
>blend
>wegman's
>knockoff porlex
>sub bialetti tier brewer
I think I'll manage.

>>20434911
Fuck you I've tasted plenty of hookers

What the fuck does any of this mean? What are the halves?

>>20436177
>Half and half is simply a mixture of equal parts whole milk and cream. That’s it. If you wanted to go further down the half and half rabbit hole, you would learn that the percentage of fat in whole milk is only 3.25%. The percentage of fat in half and half varies between 10.5% and 18%. Why? Because cream can be 36% to 40% fat. When mixing the two together, you get a different percentage of fat depending on the cream you use. Anything labeled half and half at the store will be fine for any recipe you need it for.
https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/what-is-half-and-half

>>20436265
>The percentage of fat in half and half varies between 10.5% and 18%.
>Anything labeled half and half at the store will be fine for any recipe you need it for.
foodnetwork confirmed hacks

>>20436265
0.4*.5 + 0.0325*.5 = .21625
0.36*.5 + 0.0325*.5 = .19625

No idea where they're getting 10.5% and 18%

>>20436368
>>20436375
You should tweet about it.

>>20430586
Not a bad idea, actually.

10 o'clock PM goffee, whatsup.

>inject the goffee directly into my veins

>>20435524
Your garden seems asleep. Nice cuppa.

>>20435484
>espresso machine with kyusu
>specialty coffee
>organic
>hand grinder
yeah that's a proper goff

IT'S UP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA4U0bYnFcI

>>20436866
Fuck OFF!

>>20436871
stay mad kike

>>20436866
Based Gourmet!

>>20436871
Get bent

NEW:
>>20436878
>>20436878
>>20436878

>>20436866
When a devil gets caught by a monster, I, as a human being, can only hope that they both die.

>>20420886
Get an electric kettle, anon. So much more convenient for many different purposes.