/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I only cook when company comes over. Otherwise, I just eat fast food or order pizza. I have gone over a month one time without opening my fridge or turning on my oven.

>>4606911
I know your feels. I haven't had a kitchen in almost a year. I still cook when I have company, though.

I... I still like Pop-Tarts. I once ordered an entire case of thirty six with Barbie on it because it was on sale for 8 bucks.

I still can't proparly dice an onion. Fuck those things.

>>4606992
It's the horizontal cuts that get me. Maybe I'm not sharpening my knife well enough.

>>4607007
>>4606992

don't bother with the horizontal cuts. do radial cuts. more consistent, and faster.

I love ketchup. Sometimes I'll fry up potatoes just because I'm craving it.

>>4606988
An entire case of what kind?

>>4607011
>>4607007
>>4606992
I usually halve one top to bottom, cut off the bottom and top, then slice bottom to top, then rotate and slice perpendicular to the first cuts. It isn't terribly accurate, but it approximates a dice.

>>4606992
it's tomatoes for me

I'm like the infomercial guy after a few cuts and then it turns into soup

this thread makes me feel good about myself

>>4607038
Sparkleberry. The kind with printed unicorn and princesses. I'm a guy.

>>4607024
Nothing wrong with that. Just don't be putting it on steaks and shit, yo. Fries and chicken nuggets are fair game. Ketchup doesn't taste bad, perse. It just tastes strong as fuck.

Whenever I go to a Vietnamese place I have to drink the entire cup of hoisin sauce that comes with spring rolls. I'm pretty sure it has cost me a promotion.

I'm a careless fucker. My workspace is never clean, dishes often pile in the sink, and I cut or scald myself about once a month.

>>4606930
Why is that hot sauce sitting on the grill surface?

>>4607063
Tried that once.
It's fucking great.

>>4606905
Even as a kid I thought that thing was shit... not every damn potato is straight like that.

>>4607143
think of the squash spaghettti you could make

>>4607152
you should make squash spaghetti with spaghetti squash, which does not benefit from that contraption.

>>4606930

Oh dear lawd, Sweet Baby Ray's and Cholula... EASILY my two favorite sauces of all time! ALL TIME!!

I usually cook in my underwear, and scratch myself with a fork or whatever cooking implement i'm using.

I think nutella is overrated as fuck and tastes like shit.

I use margarine instead of butter.

>>4607265
Nutella is dogshit. Disgustingly sweet and mealy.

Mistakes, eh?

I once tried using polenta (corn meal) instead of corn starch as a thickener for rodgrod med flode.

I then had to strain it through a cheesecloth, and start over. It still tasted corny and grainy when I was done.

>>4607271
Corn flour**
Goddamnit, I still can't tell the difference.

>>4607274
>rodgrod med flode
neat, had to look that up

corn starch = corn flour
tapioca starch = tapioca flour
i think generally starch = flour
though meal != flour

>>4607042
Oh fuck. It always makes me lol when they do that. Pull back and let the weight of the knife do the work; don't push down like you're chopping.

>>4607114
Why not?

>>4607271
Sweet baby jesus. I cringed hard as fuck at corn meal, but when you corrected to corn flour, it was kind of understandable.

>>4606905

jesus fuck, my stepdad had one of these. It was fucking worthless. You have made me nostalgia and rage at the same time.

>every single part made of cheap shitty hollow plastic
>clip wasn't strong enough to keep peeler against potato
>why in the fuck is the peeler less than one square centimeter large
>goddamn peeler attachment always got clogged
>potato always fell out of spikes
>any remotely lumpy or eyed potato is 100% incompatible with machine
>peeler attachment was impossible to clean
>sometimes only part of potato skin would get removed, leaving strange half-peeled skin limbo
>potato juices would leak from bottom and make the spikes sticky and immobile
>had to crank rotato like a retarded faggot until your arm hurt too much to continue
>peeler always missed massive sections of potato
>peeler not sharp enough to pierce most potato skin
>dem huge unpeeled ends
>took longer to peel in the rotato than it did to just fucking peel it with a normal hand peeler

>>4607356
Just get one of these:

>peeling potatoes

>>4607366
Back from the old days of 4chan.

I hated that fucking bitch

The clamp would never be strong enough, juices went all over the damn machine making it sticky and it rusted like hell

>>4607385
Oh my...

Just leave the skin on.
Its good for you, and doesn't even mess with the taste.

>>4607391
I feel like anyone with half a brain would innately expect that kind of quality from one of these shitty unitasking un-products

>>4607446
I'm always weary of that 'as seen on tv' shit.
I've yet to come across a single kitchen aid or device that looks legit enough to spend money on.
I figure its all a fucking scam to make a quick buck

>>4607456
Some shit is pretty clever, but most is entirely crap, or things used in other industries that's been re-marketed for homekitchen use, like the "ove-glove".

>>4607456
>>4607464
that fact of the matter is that each and every one of these products is sold as a "convenience" and purchased by people who aren't comfortable with some aspect of cooking. No one who has any kind of chops has these unitasking objects taking up space in their kitchen

>>4607464

I almost bought an Orgreenic kitchen set.
>dat perfect egg flip

I actually felt for it.

Awww shit suddenly a /ck/ .gif thread

>>4607471
I sold a shitload of those at work. I'm guessing the results were less than satisfying

>>4607468
>implying a chopper isn't great for mincing mass amounts of garlic cloves

I've never liked butter, I think margarine tastes better.

>>4607478

I always like how the people in these commercial are the most spectacularly incompetent morons ever conceived.

>>4607478
From what I've read, they suck ass, they apparently loose the "non stick" on the third or forth clean.

>>4607483
If you're content to sit there and bang on that thing like an idiot, making a huge fucking racket... I'd race you. Cleanup time included.

>>4607483
It isn't chuckles. There are far better mechanical cutters for the task, or you could stop being a lazy twat and learn how to use a sharp knife.

>>4607483
>>4607490
btw meet my garlic press

>>4607495
Oh I've had one of those in my drawer for about eight months now. And I mean it's been drawered for eight months.

Can someone tell me why garlic is hard for people? Smash it flat then run your knife through it rapidly. It's far faster than any absurd toy.

>>4607490
Easily, smack for 15 seconds, rinse under hot ass water, done in under 2:00 for 15 seconds per two cups of cloves.

>>4607356
>>4607366
>>4606905
Just use a spoon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1llD2_Et5c

>>4607502
Yeah I know how to mince garlic, the difference is the consistency and texture. Can you tell me why that's so hard for you? So tough to grasp?

>>4606905
>I've always thought the rotato was bitchin.
Holy shit, I don't know why but I laughed so hard.

>>4607514
>crushed garlic juice is greater than your choice of garlic cuts
>why is this so hard for your to grasp?
Probably because I don't buy lemon juice in the refrigerated section next to the lemons, rum extract, or any other shitty imitation of a real product and pretend it's superior.

>>4607533
>preparing garlic in another way
>becomes a shitty imitation

u w0t m8?

>>4607533
You're completely off-base. I'm not using some "shitty imitation" of a real "product" (I assume you meant garlic? I guess it's a "product.") The real value of the garlic press is the puree of garlic that comes from it, which I always use freshly peeled cloves to make.

There is a place for minced, a place for chopped, and a place for pressed in my repertoire.

>>4607542
I take it you voted Democrat not just a decade back, because you're waffling like a suburban Ihop.

Hand-squeezing solid vegetable matter through die-like holes does not produce "minced" anything. It doesn't even produce crushed anything. It produces juice with a little bit of pulp for housewives who are too retarded to use a simple tool like a blade.

>>4607559
>getting this worked up about aromatic procedural preparation

>>4607559
maybe you're just too fucking stupid to use a garlic press?

>>4607580
Please tell me you're joking. Please tell you you don't think using a tool as shitty as a garlic press is something to look up to.

This is my garlic press. When I need to marinade a fuckton of meat this thing saves me a lot of time.

People get religious about their garlic preparation for what I can only assume is Goodfellas level retarded Italian principles.

>all dat garlic assburger ITT

>>4607586
no...the point is that it's "easy"....that's why i said maybe you are to stupid to use one...

you describe the end product like someone who might not know what the fuck they are doing...or have a shitty press

not that i use one over traditional methods,but it has it's uses

>>4607510
B-but it can't make rotatoes with a simple modification.

>>4607618
>you describe the end product like someone who might not know what the fuck they are doing...or have a shitty press
But that's exactly what it is. A few cloves will only take you, well less than a minute with a knife. Cutting corners on the most inconsequential tasks of cooking just makes you willfully ignorant.

sometimes i somehow cook something spontaneous, and it turns out really really good and I genuinely feel satisfied after I eat it

Then I try to recreate it the next day, and it's pretty good I guess. but its just not...the same...

>>4607644
That's why people use recipes with uniform measurements.

>>4607533

what the fuck

how fucking dense you are

>>4606905
Last time i made noodles,

i threw away the oil and mix package and just stared to cook em up,

after that i threw in some small habanero cuts and to finish it up, i threw in a few globs of guacamole,

tasted pretty good though.

>>4607270
THANK YOU.

I swear Nutella tastes like fucking cake frosting, then I see these kids in my family slathering it on their bread, biscuits, fruit, ice cream, fucking everything.

I have to think to myself if the nasty sweet stuff that's expensive as hell is actually better than actual peanut butter.

>>4607456
Magic Bullet works amazing for sauce and smoothies.

Unfortunately it grinds ice into snow, so no ice milk tea for me.

>>4607439
It does mess with the taste

in a delicious way

>>4607944
I fucking hate nutella, tiny amounts in baked goods maybe.

The Ninja blender is a piece of shit, and I bought one thinking "Oh hell yes, blender heaven".

I have never been so wrong in my life.

The only time I ever used one of those kitchen gadgets was when I had to finely mince some ingredients, then I bring out the slap chop.

I bought a slap chop that I use when I go back to my parent's place because I want to make cooking 'fun' for my brother so that he's interested in helping out prepping food and having an interest of where his food comes from AND what goes into making a meal.

As shitty as the god damn thing is, I can't think of any better justification asides from the fact that the damn thing was 10 dollars for two at the local supermarket.

>work as a sous chef in a pretty high up hotel.
>also cook as a student teacher for my old culinary school at the CC i graduated from.
>at home i usually just microwave shit and my fridge is always empty

I was making a dish that called for fish sauce, I tasted the fish sauce, don't taste the fish sauce...

>>4607989
Like a lot of added things in cooking. They taste like shit without other ingredients
ex: cinnamon, vanilla, cumin

>>4607989

>>4607989

put it in next time, but go easy, it's a strong sauce.

>>4607114
>not making your hot sauce hot

>>4607944
>Be kid
>Friend asks if I want to spread chocolate on our toast
>Bread with chocolate?! Fuck yeah I want some!
>Friend hands me a jar and I spread that shit all over my bread
>Take a huge bite
>The taste of sickingly sweet nougat hits my tongue
>"WTF, what is this shit?!"
>Nutella

I literally spent my whole childhood arguing with kids that if it's made of nuts and tastes of nuts it's not chocolate. I love nuts, I love peanut butter but nutella tastes like ass.

i still know shit all about cuts of meat. i feel my diet is semi-carnivorous, but i've grown up all my life in a vegie family, and therefore all my meat education has been what i've skimmed off the internet and at family BBQ's. i know how to cook amazing steak, burgers and other meat products, but as for cuts of meat, i am absolutle clueless. i generally just go for the meat with the best price/kg that also somewhat resembles a steak

>>4608091
Most human diets are semi-carnivorous

I'm on a low-fat vegan diet.

>>4608091
most meat-eating normal people have no clue either.

I know men who love to grill, cook or fry meat but are afraid of any preparation involving the raw meat, and know nothing about buying good meat or relevant terms.

>>4607944
When I went backpacking through Europe in the 80's, Nutella was the peanut butter of Europe, and peanut butter was the Nutella of Europe. Nutella was bountiful and inexpensive, whilst peanut butter was the exact opposite.

>>4608096
>carnivorous

I think you mean carrion. Humans very very rarely ever eat fresh raw meat. Everything they do to meat is meant to break it down and digest it prior to actually eating it; from aging to cooking.

On the subject of garlic, I've just entirely stopped using it fresh. Lazy as fuck, but I can't tell the difference when I use pic related.

>>4607385
>Realplayer

I once stuck the round end of a whisk up my butt, scrambled a bowl of eggs by rapidly rotating my ass, and served it to preteen campers and adult councillors on a dare from the other guy working in the kitchen with me. There were no cameras in the kitchen and we're left alone until serving time.

>>4608688
>2006
>Real Player
Worked really well for those obscure and improperly made media files on the old gnutella networks. Shame I don't have any screencaps from back in 03' when the Frozen Throne came out and I first dwelved into 4chan.

>>4608663
What the fuck are you using garlic for then? Just long-simmered red sauces?

>>4608713
I think i know you...i saw you in a movie once.

>>4607068
>Just don't be putting it on steaks

Fuck you. Steak and fried onion sandwich with ketchup is the best thing in the world.

>>4607368
Depends on what you're making. If you make roast potatoes with the skin on, they aren't as fluffy inside or as crispy outside.

>>4607502
I personally do not like the smell of garlic on my hands. That shit seeps into the pours and lingers for days. No amount of washing or stainless steel can get it off. Same with onions.

>>4607470
That's not really a gimmick though, just an improved oven glove

>>4608766
Talk about scarred for life....

>>4607625
Maximum lel.

>>4607972
Yeah, you just get tired of cooking so much when you're doing it 60 hours a week.

I was that way, but then I started waiting tables because I was in a pinch for cash and it pays more, and now I cook at home all the time.

Like, whenever I have the opportunity. I just missed it.

>>4608663
I have been looking in every supermarket that im in for garlic puree. Nowhere has it where I live now fu Ireland and your bland tastes

>>4606905

>>4607972
Most cooks are like that.
>Christoper Kimball.
>Cooks food tested by science on the show
>Er, watches his assistants rather.
>Overcook simple dishes like scrambled eggs at home all the time.

>>4606992
Dice fourths instead of halves. Easy easy easy.

>>4607042
>>4607311
here's that gif

>>4609186

Datfilename.mysides.tiff

>>4609186
thiskillsthetomato.gif

>>4609246
I laughed harder than I probably should have.

>>4609186

>Can't peel fruit with a knife. I use a potato peeler on apples.
>Use cooking spray.
>I still can't get the handle of cooking salmon on a pan and not ont he oven.

>>4607042
get a sharp knife...and slice

>>4607456
only one I think works and ever wanted is the magic bullet.

>>4611316
Oh my jesus fuck.

At my absolute most depressed fatfuck point in my life in high school I would seriously "treat" myself to a roll of cookie dough, a dime of shitty Mexican dirt weed, and go out into the woods behind my house and smoke up, eat cookie dough, and bird watch.

I brought binoculars and a book and everything.

>I own an deep fryer

Im so sorry /ck/, it didnt have to be like this but the temptation was too much.

This thread was better than expected.

>>4607068
i eat ketchup on my eggs in the morning, since i tried it it just doesnt feel the same without it.

>>4607471
i bought an orgreenic pan =(, it worked really well, nothing stuck, then the fucker turned black and im scraping shit off contantly.

>>4607471

Not buying the glorious Scanpan.
>I use metal utensiels and everything on it...still works great.
>dat ceramic titanium coating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A2QOZT7imI

>>4611316

The regular refrigerated cookie dough taste like preservatives big time. I think Pillsbury or Toll House one has a "natural" kind in a white package. That shit taste pretty good, not quite as good as I make at home, but I could eat a package of it raw and not think I'm going to get cancer.

>>4612573
holy shiet those are pretty asthetic cookware, dont fool with me mayne, im gulible. you show me somin pretty and tell me its good then chances are ill buy it......

>>4611633
Nothing wrong with a deep fryer. They're more convenient than boiling a pot of oil. Now, if you use it every day to fry up...Twinkies or something...

>>4612583

It ain't cheap, and yeah if you are rough on it they will scratch/chip. But overall I'd say they are a good buy in terms of non-stick cookware.

My primary set is Calphalon tri-ply, several Scanpan skillets and a couple of cast iron pieces I inherited. (Along with many Le Creuset dutch ovens...the wife likes color - and they are non-reactive and work great.) The drawback I see to nonstick is the lack of high temp that can be done with it. Sauteing isn't a deal, but making a gravy where I'm going to be browning flour first would concern me. Having a pan on medium heat for 10 minutes with nothing more than a couple of tablespoons of flour, well it's going to get damn hot. But for things like eggs or sticky shit, it's hard to fucking beat the nonstick. (And the bit about not washing it hot, fuck that, straight from the stove to the sink, rinse, wipe, and done.)

>One thing to note, they are aluminum, so they don't work on induction ranges.
>Never tried their stainless stuff, but most muti-ply designs are fairly similar in terms of performance.

The only other nonstick I've seriously considered is by Berndes. I've never used it, but it looks really nice. But when Scanpan said metal was somewhat ok...yeah I went with them.

http://cast-aluminum.berndes-cookware.com/Non-Stick-Cookware.html

>>4607385
Oh wow, that's super old, from back when they still used frames! I forgot about the old layout!

>>4608814
Just rub some lemon juice on your hands
>>4611481
Yea me and bro have owned a magic bullet for a long time, and I think its really useful and lives up to its expectations.

>>4611316
I don't understand why everyone seems to love cookie dough so much. It's grainy and tastes like sweet raw flour. I'd much rather have freshly baked cookies.

>>4612635
>It's grainy and tastes like sweet raw flour.

You aren't doing it right then.

My recipe for chocolate chip cookies involves browning half the butter, it gives it a nice hint of butterscotch-ish flavor.

2 cups flour
2 ½ cups oats
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
16 Tbsp. butter
2 Tbsp milk/cream
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
Chocolate chips to taste

-Brown ½ of butter until caramel in color. Add to rest of butter and let cool to room temperature (or chill slightly). Cream together sugars with butter. Add in eggs, vanilla, cream, salt.

-Stir dry ingredients together. Slowly add dry to wet until mixed. At this point you can add any toppings you would like (chips, nuts, ect..)

-Place in 1-2 Tbsp clumps on a cookie sheet. (Cookies will only spread marginally, if you like a flatter cookie smoosh it down a little). Bake at 325 until just browning. (Variable time, 10+ mins to personal taste).

>>4612663

And something else, if you have time place the finished dough in the fridge (overnight is best). The flavors meld and make it even better.

>>4607366
Oh man, my family used to have one of those. My mom used it all the time.

I don't ever actually use egg whites when a recipe calls for them, I just use a whole egg.

I'm starting to get sick of eating french fries and other potato products all the time. I'm only 20 years old

I've always thought that Simply Sara's Wanda's homemade macaroni salad looked good and wanted to try it.

>>4613337

Get a load of this effete snob. We don't need your extremist vegan ways around here.

Sometimes for dinner I like to get a Colt 45 and a Slim Jim.

And I put ketchup on my hotdog.

>>4612663
>16 tbsp of butter
jesus christ how hard is it to put down 8 oz of butter

I work in a grocery store and actually don't put some of the products on the shelves because I find them stupid/dislike them myself, so I just hide them somewhere and put them in the loss bin when the expiration date pass.

>>4613387
You're like Tyler Durden of the Piggly Wiggly.

>>4613408
You'll never see the light of the day again peanut m&m I made sure of it.

>>4613420
>peanut m&m
For fucks sake, man. You have a problem.

>>4607366
My mom got sold one of these at some sort of cooking gadgets party. It was pretty cool for slicing apples. BTW do people still do cooking gadget parties? My uncle used to have them.

>>4607468
My head-chef actually scolded me for using oven mitts to remove warm things from oven.

"You're wasting time putting those things on your hand, and you have a dish towel hanging by your waist all the time anyway, just use that."
>"Why do we have a pile of oven mitts lying on top of the oven, then?"
"In case someone with no prior training needs to use it."

Goddammit, I love that woman. She gives good sass.

>>4608663

agreed, got myself a jar of this shit and now i basically have unlimited garlic that never spoils

>>4607471
Fuck. I have one of these and it sticks harder than a goddamn steel pan now.

It was fantastic for a few weeks out of package, but it just got really really shitty after a while.

>>4614032
Why not just get minced garlic in oil? That's what I grew up with.

I don't measure the internal temperature of my pork.

>>4607385
>Television & Film
/tv/ was around in October of 2006?
This changes everything!

>>4613365

>>4607118
yeah i love that shit

>>4608058
My dad made this chocolate spread that was hella good one time. Spread it on some white bread and I thought that was basically what nutella was supposed to be. Apparently not, nutella is straight chocolate shit.

I don't even know what he made but it was fucking baller and I think he used buttermilk or some shit with cocoa powder, idk it was runny and it was light brown chocolate look

>>4614674
looks like beef.

>>4614751
Sweet baby ray's does that.

When I was a kid I'd make a cream cheese bagel by slicing off a half inch thick piece of cream cheese from the costco logs my parents bought, and slapped it on the bagel like it was a quarter pound burger. I have no idea why my parents would let me do this.

prepare your butts
>I make close-enough-substitutes in recipes like ketchup instead of tomatos
>I used to put ketchup and mustard in spaghetti all the time
>I don't know how to make hamburger meat lose that raw meat taste

>>4614760
That's a little disturbing.

>>4607038

>cut off the bottom

You dun goofed. Leave the end attached. This holds it all together and makes the horizontal cut much easier.

>>4607950
>ice milk tea

>>4614674
I too, like to live dangerously

>>4614773
>I don't know how to make hamburger meat lose that raw meat taste
You cook it.

>>4607950
what? im confused, if youre gonna put ice in a blender dont you want it be the same or similar consistency to snow?

>>4607508
Yeah, try the same with what most recipes require: One or two cloves.

I don't cook for an army to need to chop up two cups of cloves of garlic.

hes

>>4606911
Same. I blame it on how small my kitchen is in my apartment, but I would rather just microwave something then deal with dishes.

>>4607265
Yeah I'm with you on the Nutella. It's so gross. I love chocolate and hazelnuts and I just find Nutella really awful

>>4612663
What texture do these cookies have? Crispy? Soft?

>>4614884
No. Most people aim for something closer to sleet.

>>4607478
>tfw you can perfectly crack an egg every time

Feels fucking spectacular, man.

>>4611489
That sounds pretty relaxing, actually.

>>4616163
Feels pretty basic motor skills used correctly, man.

I do wonder how they scripted the recording for that gif, though.

I have a slapchop which I use on occasion. I mostly use it for mincing large amounts of garlic, or if I'm chopping up cherry tomatoes for pico de gallo.

>>4616694
>cherry tomatoes
>not roma

I screwed up boiling pasta a couple months ago.

>>4616943
Hopefully never again.

I put ketchup on my eggs (pretty much all except deviled) .

>>4608112

...is there an opposite to this?

>>4617260
what my dad eats

>>4611489

I laughed, but that actually sounds bretty awesome bro

I microwaved a steak and ate it mostly raw because I was too much of a lazy fuck to cook it one time.

>>4617260
Most junk food? You can eat nothing but Oreos and be on a vegan diet.

I like fruit cocktail from the can

I'm making all of Simply Sara's dishes and going to make a big post about it on /ck/ and hope people care
The stuffed chicken was pree good

>>4612663
he/she was talking about eating raw cookie dough...

>>4608058
what country are you in? where you are can affect the nutella they sell there.

>>4614858
im just imagining just retarded assburgers guy put ketchup and mustard on raw ground beef on uncooked ramen noodles and calling sketti.

>>4612623
people still use frames

>>4607024
>>4608773
>>4612545

Heck yeah, I love Ketchup. It is strong as hell, but that's what I like about it. I eat it on Potatos, eggs, and most sammiches, as well.

Fried Ketchup Bologna for the fuckin' win.

>>4617967
>vista
>winamp
at least pirate 7 man

>>4618042
I could get 7 but haven't had a reason, my laptop has it and it's great.

winamp is too cute to not use.

>>4618204
Nigga, that's kawaii.

Tfw still running XP.

>>4618648
XP is stable, I'll have to go to Win7 soon, I'm sure that I wont be happy with the results. The more one gets into the later versions of Winshit, the more it's an advertising delivery device.

>>4618657
>I'll have to go to Win7 soon, I'm sure that I wont be happy with the results

Are you the guy who was saying yesterday how he didn't need a smartphone because he had an awesome netbook?

>>4611489
>smoke up
>eat cookie dough
>bird watch

that actually sounds great

>>4618669
Nope, not me. I just have a simple phone that does what it needs to do. For the stuff, I have a real computer.

>>4618694
Second

>>4618669
I did post this however, so that it makes grabbing all of the pictures from an entire thread easy.
Computers work for me.
@rem wgetb-4c by PTW, batch wget for 4chan enter the thread URL as the argument to the call
@rem 2/9/2013; 1:11 AM 6/10/2013 PTW, 1:34 AM 6/10/2013 Added --no-check-certificate directive
@rem 10:59 AM 6/10/2013 Added --no-clobber directive, reduced wait to 2 seconds
wget --wait=2 --no-clobber --execute=robots=off --no-directories --span-hosts --domains=images.4chan.org --ignore-case --level=1 --accept=jpg,jpeg,gif,png --follow-tags=A --recursive --no-check-certificate %*

>>4618777
I need to add bmp to that.

>>4618777
>using wget

1998 called, it wanted your help with saving some awesome adult gifs it found.

After 11 years, my beloved husband asked for a divorce so that he could date another woman. I left him all of his most favorite recipes so that he could live a happy healthy life with tasty food.

I don't care if he's an asshole who ruined my life. I want him to be happy because I'll always always love and adore him.

I put A1 in my rice. Judge me.

>>4618860
shit b you harshing our vibes in here

foreal

>>4618657
>XP
>Stable

>>4607356

/ck/ was my main board in 2008. I left for other boards. But it's threads like these that make remember why I came here in the first place.

Thanks for being awesome, /ck/.

>>4612585
I don't do either so I just buy frozen french fries from the supermarket

Back when I first started cooking I was making some Hot Wings with my Girlfriend. We ended up not having enough vinegar and didn't really want to go out to pick up some more so we had the bright idea of mixing up other kinds of vinegar: Red Wine and Apple Cider Vinegar. The Hot wings came out inedible and unsavable and they were the worst thing I have ever tried to eat.

>>4619024
You savage philistine! Everybody knows that frozen tater tots are the best!

My and some of my female friends were testing out a simple cooking recipe but we didn't feel like measuring out the ingredients and decided to eyeball it. Since we had no sense of scale we ended up covering the chicken with way too much seasoning and it ended up a salty mess. Way too much salt and eating it was difficult.

>>4612663
>16 Tbsp. butter
Substitute bacon fat for the butter. You will never EVER try them another way again.

>>4612711
>making meringues with egg yolks

>>4614856
I dont measure the temp of any meat should I be worried?

>>4619215
We're all going to die a painful death.

>>4609328
Oh god my sides have achieved c

>>4612545
I used to, then I went to Texas and my love for hot sauces began.

>>4613375
>ketchup on a hot dog
filth

>>4619641
>implying that's not one of the few acceptable uses of ketchup

>>4619638
>2013
>doesn't know HowToBasic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgRlfgV0h9w

>>4619694
Now I know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3jE7ZoTp-I&feature=youtube_gdata_player

>>4619694
>here's comes the fish

That's where I lost my shit.

>>4619688
>implying that isn't widely considered sacrilege

>>4619694
watched and insta subbed

I once got tacos from blimpe's. They tasted like dry cat food. I ate all three.

I once got tacos from Blimpies. They tasted like, and had the texture of dry cat food. I ate all three in the parking lot.

I put ketchup on my pizza.

>>4621904
It's ok, m8. So do the japanese.

>>4621904
It's ok, m8. So do the Japanese.

>>4619694
what the fuck man

this got me laughing for hours

>>4607114
>Why is that hot sauce sitting on the grill surface?

I read that as:

Why is that hotsauce grill (=girl, no?) sitting on a surface?

>>4606992

This is pretty much how I was taught to do it (the actual onion chopping part, not putting paper towels under the chopping board):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs8cQ_tjsF8

>>4609328

Even better with the sound:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVxVfrfrzJo

>>4607439

If I make mashed potato, I peel the potatoes and cook them as normal, but also heat some milk in a saucepan with some of the peelings in said milk to infuse. Once potatoes are tender, take out the peelings and add the milk whilst mashing.

>>4606905
are you nuts the skin is the best bit =o

>>4607483

>>4612561
Once you go black...

>>4623743

You want your VD test results back?

>>4623743
You die of AIDS.

>>4612573
>le ceramic titanium coating

I swear to god, these marketers are just stringing shit they pulled from a Wikipedo search together, these days.

I think these new wendy's ketchup packets are kawaii.

>>4623226
B-but, you can use it to make curly fries.

>>4607468
I do have it. It costed like $0.30 and contained cherry de-seeding part (which proved to be absolutely useless).

I used it last weekend for the first time in some... 8 years I have it - I had a whole jar of garlic to mince. Never before would I bother. Clean-up is three times as much work as just chopping two cloves of garlic that are a standard for most dishes.

>>4614385
Mincing.
Or clean-up after mincing actually.
Unless you mean preparing your own jar of garlic puree.

When I was about ten or so, I cut myself a big slice of orange cheddar cheese.
Put it on a plate.
Microwaved it.
Slurped it up.

>>4625305

I love eating these things uncooked

Pretty useless but I kinda want one.

>>4625305

>>4627138

Egg slicer useless? That's BS man.

Makes perfect egg salad.

When I was little I would grab a huge block of cheddar cheese and eat the thing whole. Still do it to this day every now and then.

>>4627198
Yeah we already saw your picture.

holy shit this is an old thread. /ck/ y u suck so bad

When i was a little kid, I dipped my cookies in burger king zesty sauce and i liked it

>>4627216
Because of reasons.

My favourite meal since I was 9 was the liver my dad got for us. It's been a guilty pleasure whenever I can acquire it.

>>4611633
I have a Presto Profry dual basket fryer. It sees a ton of use in my house.

>>4612573
I've never been a huge fan of consumer pans. My roommate works at a Bahama Breeze and took the old pans when they got new ones. Best pans I've ever used.

>>4613337
Latvia?

>>4611633
Make some deep fried oreos with that shit. Sounds disgusting, but they're actually amazing.

>>4617260
High fat all meat diet?

I sometimes eat chicken raw because it tastes better that way

>>4611633
Make some deliciously crispy fish and chips or maybe some oyster fritters for a starter to a NOLA inspired meal.
Sometimes shit is best fried in oil. And I'm not fucking around with controlling the temperature of a pot of oil. A deep fryer is by no means something to be ashamed of.

>>4611633

deep fryers are wonderful things, i'd totally get a commercial sized one if i had space, there's nothing like them

>>4608663
This stuff is so fucking good. It's handier than dicing garlic, and you can add it to things without getting crunchy bits of garlic.

Very Lazy Garlic is shit compared to this. They pack it in vinegar and in chunks. This stuff is as smooth as toothpaste and fucking delicious

Olive oil and this mixed into mash potatoes was my wisdom tooth food for a month.

i can eat a jar of sliced pickled beets in one sitting

When I was younger I used to melt, and sometimes straight up burn half a block of Red Leicester cheese in the microwave and eat it with a spoon. Sometimes I'd mix in ketchup for a tangy sweetness. I used to do this afterschool nearly every day.

Wouldn't this be healthier than eating the cheese cold, since I never drank the liquid fat?

>>4608058
I had a somewhat similar experience. I tried nutella because my half-sister really liked it. When I tried it straight out of the jar, it tasted good. Then I decided to put in on toast. It was completely inedible. How does anyone enjoy that?

Ramen omelet is the greatest culinary achievement of our lifetime

>>4607102
Second. I usually use my knives multiple times without washing them sometimes for days.

>>4607265
Margarine is just awful. Truly, disgustingly awful.

>>4627226
i have no idea why but this response really gave me the creeps

>>4628046
It's good on apple slices.

>>4628738
[spoiler]...and a nice chianti

One time I put sprinkles into my brownie mix and it came out rock solid.

I still ate it, it was pretty good. Had to wipe massive amounts of grease off though.

>>4607625
top lel on archery

i quite commonly

both set it and forget it

probably already said but i'm not reading the thread

#yolo

>>4611489
Sounds like a great time to me.

>>4627313
10/10

>>4627968
Me too man...me too

When I was a kid, I'd "make sauce" by combining all the leftover fast food sauce packets my parents kept in the fridge with whatever leftover hand made salsa fresco we had. If there was a lack of packets, my brother and I would start getting into condiment bottles until we had a respectable volume of what was more likely than not mostly corn syrup and tomato paste by volume.

>>4607470
I have these...they are amazing.

I pressed my burgers till i was 19

Onions are my favorite thing.

The smell of onions in the pan is heaven to me

When meat goes off, I quite commonly put it in the freezer with the intention of throwing it away when I empty my bin.

Yesterday my brother apologised for eating my porterhouse steak.

This story will make all of you sick
>be 13
>making cupcakes (they were shit)
>now to the icing part
>making icing
>icing is too liquidy
>I add flour to make it thicker
>turned out awful

>>4631226
same, smells awesome when saute'd

> takes deep breath
I use the Mark 1 eyeball, nose and tongue to measure ingredients for any and all things I cook
I will NEVER EVER be able to bake properly if I don't cut this shit out

>>4631158
Did it taste good?

>>4631241
I love that cheesy smell and flavor though! I always let hamburger go grey until it has that cheesiness to it. I always cook my meats well done though.

I used to eat italian sausages raw. I just kinda squeezed the meat out of the skin.

My guilty pleasure is raw meat. ;_;

>>4611481
>>4607950
Magic Bullet aint got shit on a regular blender paired with a mason jar.

>>4631311
Fuck yes it did. It was mostly ketchup, taco bell hot sauce, and some A1 steak sauce, so there wasn't really any way to fuck it up as a white trash condiment.

I hate eating burgers and such with bread, I just cut it up and use a fork.

>>4614751
Look at the sides where there are no grill marks (and now that anon has said so, where there is no BBQ sauce).

What kind of beef is that color?

>>4631450
Imma try that.

>>4607483
>>4607495
>>4607502
>>4607514
>>4607533
>>4607535
>>4607542
>>4607580
>>4607586
>>4607594
>>4607616
>>4608663
>>4608750
>>4608814
>>4609109
>>4614032
>>4614385
>>4615057
>>4616694
>>4623240
>>4625255
>>4625268
>>4627964
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQhBfRDd6GM

>>4631529
I'm honestly surprised how I've watched this movie so many times but have never tried this yet.

>>4607265
>I usually cook in my underwear
I'll drink to that

>>4607953
What did you want from it?

I'm using mine's just fine, I only even use the dough pitcher for everything. I'm perfectly fine using it until I can get a Vitamix

>>4607953
i have this. the blender isn't horrible, it just takes a while. i love the food processor though. i think it works just fine.

I always want to cook my own meals and eat healthy, but I hardly ever do. The patrols at my police department are four 10-hour shifts and hell if I feel like cooking after waking up at 5 in the morning and rousting smelly bums from their sidewalk slumber all day. I have to eat fast, so it's usually sandwiches or burritos. I eat salad sometimes but I get bored of it and I hate most vegetables you can eat raw. I'm not a doughnut-munching tub of lard, but if I get fat I have to get fitted for a new bulletproof vest and that shit takes like 5 weeks to fill.
If anyone has good recipes with lots of vegetables that are easy to make, especially in bulk, sharing would be much appreciated.

>>4631884
Veggie lasagna and chili. Can be stored in the freezer for months.

Or just do simple meals like grill a piece of meat, pick a starch (knorr noodle/rice packets are simple and not horrible, also gnocchi only needs water to boil), and then roast some vegetables. Should only take half an hour if you do it right.

Steak/gnocchi/roast asparagus, done.

>>4631884
Make pasta sauce in bulk (with a shitload of veggies in it) and store it in single servings in the freezer. Make the pasta ahead of time and store that in single servings in the refrigerator with a bit of EVOO and some salt. Take the sauce out the night before you intend to eat it and put that in the fridge to thaw.

I work 12 hour shifts and I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to cook when you get home; shit I don't even eat when I get home. I take this to work with me and eat it an hour before I go home so all I have to do before bed is wash the pyrex.