/ck/ - Food & Cooking

All my family eats is frozen shit, so yes, I agree.

>>>/facebook/

Also, underage b&.

>>4770838
>eats dinner with family
>must be under aged

im in my third year at a local college, living at home was more cost efficient and i still get to have all the social life i want.

all i know is that if i had a pack of hamburger meat, the absolute last thing i would make is individual plain hamburger patties. not even on a bun, just cooked hamburger meat with no spices, not even salt.

anyway, back to the point

any family dinner horror stories?

With an OP like that it's hard to complain about my family. I guess at least they eat real food.

op again

my family barely lets me cook for them anymore because I dont do things the way they like or dont "cook things til theyre done"

which means that they prefer ragu and burnt ground beef over the bolognese it takes me 3 hours to make, and they dont like my chicken because "cooked chicken shouldnt have any juices, anon, put it back in the oven"

i once cooked a chicken pretty near perfect but my mom put it back in the oven on 425 for another 50 minutes

>>4770858
>for another 50 minutes
That's just hyperbole, right?

>>4770861
NOPE

i cooked it on 300 for 2-2.5 hours breast side down. my plan was to take it out, flip it, and broil it to crispen it and finish it off

she took it out after 1 hour 45 mins. cut it, juice, said "300 isnt hot enough to cook chicken" then put it back in the oven on 425 for 50 minutes

>>4770868
I....what?
Anyone else ever have that grandmother or aunt would would make weird jello mixes or vegetables with mayo and raisins?

My mother was a cook so I always had nice food.

I'd hate to live in a house being fed shit food.

I know the feeling so well OP.

I try and make stuff, but then get yelled at doing shit they don't like.

Also, I get yelled at for buying good, not shit/processed ingredients.

I remember once my Mom chewed me out for buying good cheese instead of fucking velveeta claiming "YOU SPEND ALL THE GOD DAMN MONEY ON GOURMET BULLSHIT"

I was in disbelief she was so fucking stupid

>>4770868
The sad life she must lead. How can you be truly happy when you can't possibly be enjoying what you eat?

>>4770887
I already know what your mother looks and sounds like.

>>4770887
eh, at least my family doesnt really yell at me. its just baffling how people dont know how cooking works

like, if i make a meatloaf, which they actually enjoy my meatloaf, they cook it in the oven for an extra 30 minutes. and when they reheat leftovers, they put it in the oven at 350 for 45 minutes instead of a heating temperature.

they dont understand heat cooks things, cooked things are just meats that have reached a certain temperature.

they just dont understand the basic rules and methods of cooking

>>4770893
i think its my dad mostly that has gotten her to cook that way for over 20 years. theyre good people, just not cultured at all. live in small town NC.

dad will get a hamburger steak out at a lot of restaurants, he wont even eat eggs unless theyre cooked to the point of being yellowish rubber

>>4770876
>weird jello mixes or vegetables with mayo and raisins?

This as been part of every home made buffet at every family gathering as far as I can remember. That is some sickening slop.

Mostly my familys foods has been allright and evolving as the years passed by. But my mom has a dish that ressurect sometimes, and its
>slightly too soft eggplant in thick slices
>red onion rings
>minced pork
This goes in a pan, in the oven for 90 minutes. I don't have the heart telling my mom it looks, smells, and taste awful. It taste off, its not just that I don't like it.

>>4770898
Enlighten me.

Protip (hopefully I won't sound EDDGGYY): She's an alcoholic and I wish she was dead

i like what my mum cooks apart from microwaved broccoli (broccoli's my favourite vegetable as long as it's not nuked)

not a big fan of what my dad's family eat generally but they get takeaway and go to restaurants a lot more

>>4770911
Standard white trash. Probably looks and sounds like Chris Chans mom.
Doesn't wash, doesn't work?
Argues in public a lot?

>>4770928
Nailed it.

I am suddenly eternally grateful for my Italian father actually caring about buying/making good stuff.

I used to dislike about how little variation there was in the food my parents make, but after hearing about anons getting yelled at for not buying Velveeta...

>>4770928
At least now I know he wasn't adopted.

>>4770904
op here

my mom makes roast beef occasionally
its a roast, with potatos, baby carrots, onion quarters and celery stalks in a roasting pan covered in "beef stew mix" and water

cooked until the meat is dark brown all the way through and chewier than gum

>>4770876
Oh boy.

>>4770829
I cooked the food when I lived with my father and siblings, but I definitely committed most of the "crimes" mentioned here...overcooking meat, velveeta mac and cheese.
I dunno though. I think Velveeta mac and cheese is fine.

>>4771009
>screams

>>4770829
>that feeling when they get offended that you don't like their slop even after telling them all your life that you don't like what they make and have been offering tips on how to make it better or recommend completely different food

Move out if you haven't already and just bare with it when you visit. They are a lost cause.

>>4771009
Is that cheese in there?

>>4771135
Pure American machine processed velveeta!

>>4771009
pig disgusting

My mom cooked the laziest most unhealthy shit ever. You ever heard of the freshman 15? I managed to lose 40 pounds my first year of college because for the first time in my life I actually had some control over my diet.

I'll give you guys a recipe for a staple in the old household, taco rolls

Ingredients:
>Two pounds 80/20 hamburger meat
>One pound shredded cheddar or Mexican blend cheese
>Taco seasoning
>One of those frozen bread loaf doughs that you let dethaw and rise
>velveeta
>rotel
>milk

Methods:
>Brown taco meat with the seasoning. Don't drain much, the bread soaks the grease and gets good
>Roll out bread dough in a longish cylander shape
>Dump taco meat down the edge of the dough
>Dump pound of cheese on top of the taco meat
>Roll up tight, bake in the oven until golden brown
>When baking, make a big fucking bowl of Velveeta chili con queso with the velveeta, milk, and rotel
>Pull taco roll out of the oven, dump entire bowl of queso on top of it
>Cut into four equal portions, dinner is served
>Sour cream and salsa are optional

I'm not gonna lie......it tasted really good in a very trashy sort of way. But goddamn, we had this like twice a week.

Dinner tonight from my mom was bowtie noodles in ranch dressing with canned peas and meatloaf made from a pile of ground meat, onions and oats(?) microwaved in a bundt form.

My mom loves squash and okra. I can't eat both because because they both make me vomit. Like, if I put them near my mouth, I start to gag uncontrollably.

>Stop by mom's one day for dinner
>"Try this"
>"What is it?"
>"Try it."
>Its some cheese looking concoction
>Eat it
>"Hey this is pretty good, what is it?"
>"Cheese squash casserole."
>"FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

>>4770902
>my dad mostly that has gottne her to cook that way

Bingo. Thats why my moms cooking was so fatty. My mom actually orders and eats decent things when we eat out in public. Chicken, lots of veggies, etc. My dad is a pure meat cheese and bread guy. She catered her home cooking to make him happy, me and the sis were stuck with it. We did usually have a veggie dish or two but it was canned veggies and my mom oversalts everything, she'd dump so much salt in the pot that it was inedible.

man reading these threads...

my grandfather was appaz a really good chef in hong kong and he passed the knowledge down to his seeds

feels good man

>>4771164
i just came at the thought of eating that.....

>>4770868
That made me rage so hard I felt the anger all the way to my urethra.

>>4771352
It tastes really good, sometimes I still crave it. That shits unbelievable unhealthy though. If you aren't concerned about healthy, carbs, sodium etc I'd suggest you try, its really easy to make.

Hmmm. I feel very lucky reading this thread. My mom is a great cook. Went over there for labor day yesterday, she made ribs, burgers, salad, roasted corn, fruit salad and apple dumplings with vanilla ice cream. All homemade. She even grinds her own meat and cures bacon and shit. I should have learned more about cooking from her before I moved out. I asked her to make me a little cookbook of her recipes for Christmas, so that'll be cool.

>>4771164
Wait, do people put plastic in their crock pots to make queso? I've always just melted it straight in there and cleaned out the crock pot

>>4771445
I've seen it done. Absolutely no cleanup. Makes sense for velveeta queso too, have you ever tried to clean that stuff out of anything after its cooled and dried? It turns into actual plastic, very hard to clean.

>>4771466
Yeah, it's a pain in the ass. My crock pot has a removable inner part with no electronics in it, so I usually take that out, fill with liquid soap and hot water and let it sit for a few hours before cleaning.

Hey everyone, Fizzwazoo in the house. I despise my family's culinary creations. Luckily I live alone now so I can make my soups and sandwiches in piece. My parents used to make spaghetti and meatballs 3 times a week, it was pure hell.

>>4770829
iktf bro

>>4771466

I work at a place that makes velveeta mac, used to wash dishes, now I'm a cook. I honestly like the mac, lots of people do, I don't normally eat the stuff, but when I do I like it. I could really see it getting old after a while though.

My family gets pizza every week
And every week it's Papa Murphy's
Papa Murphy's is even worse than fucking domino's. Limp crust, shitty sauce, greasy toppings that come right off. I fucking hate it so god damn much.

>In b4 plebs defend their soggy playdoh pies

>>4771466

I work at a place that makes velveeta mac, used to wash dishes, now I'm a cook. I honestly like the mac, lots of people do, I don't normally eat the stuff, but when I do I like it. I could really see it getting old after a while though.

>>4770829
some of the posters here are bitching about food aversions. Go to /o and bitch about how you dont like wheels.

I know exactly what op is talking about. story tyme form yesterday
>be Memorial Day, gotta miss family bbq, shit
>working at Papa Johns, thinking about delish charcoal cooked burgers n hotdogs that will be left over
>im suffering, hadnt had a charcoal cooked burger all summer, i skip heavy eating at work, get off
>drive past three McDonalds, a bar i like that makes good wings, get home OH BOY ITS TIME
>set out hotdog bun, and hamburger bun, open fridge, get foil wrapped food
>open food, instantly sad. WTF happened here?
>all of it. blacker than africa at night
I was so fucking hungry that i ate that shit. i hated every fucking bite. god damn it why the fuck. course its saved cuz we cant waste food

>all these babbys complaining

move out

>>4770846
>>4770829

Why don't you try actually cooking instead of just whining about it.

i feel that way when i go to my inlaws
i cook at a damn nice restaurant & can munch on pretty much anything i like while i work
sometimes littleneck clams or a filet mignon or scallops or pork chop
today it was pork loin, zucchini blossoms stuffed with an herbed ricotta mix & a blueberry lychee sorbet
i go to my inlaws & they think hot dogs & baked beans is a fabulous meal
its not uncommon for them to eat premade, prepackaged french toast which according to the package has neither dairy nor eggs in it, creepy
i bite my lip all through dinner everytime im there
ive tried to cook for them & its always "anon! why so much butter? anon, why all that salt" as i season my dishes yet they have no problem putting some chemical/synthetic into their body that they dont even know what it is let alone are able to pronounce it

i eat shit at college. miss my mamas home cooking. dey say theres too much food around when im gone. refrigerator full, heart empty :(

>>4771174
You're obviously just a manchild if you ate it fine until told what it was.

>>4770846
>all i know is that if i had a pack of hamburger meat, the absolute last thing i would make is individual plain hamburger patties. not even on a bun, just cooked hamburger meat with no spices, not even salt.
Word.

Not even seasoned, da fuq's up with that? Overcooked I can understand, some people just don't get that burgers can be cooked less than solid grey and still be safe (while simultaneously juicy as hell) but how can you not automatically feel the need for seasoning????

>>4770928
I assume there are sweatpants.

>>4771164
is your mom a stoner?

>>4771164
This kind of tale is one of the things I value about /ck/

That is gold son, gold.

>>4771164
Is that pic like some retarded white trash double boiler system? Is the "cheese-food" actually melted in the plastic bag or what?

>>4771991
It's a food safe plastic bag containing the cheese so that it can be heated and served without the need to clean the heating container. It's bog standard in the food service industry.

>>4772027
Idk what bog standard is, and i've worked in the food service industry for 10 years now, and have never once seen a plastic bag(outside of a sous vide vacuum bag) used to cook,warm or reheat any food.

>>4772038
It's mostly seen in catering, mobile food service, and fast food.

My parents like steak a lot, so whenever it's on sale, we would have the standard meal: Grilled steak, microwaved vegetables, baked potatoes.

I always hated steak. People made it out to be a delicacy and I couldn't understand it. I felt spoiled for being disappointed whenever it was steak for dinner.

Then one night on a whim, I ordered a steak when we were at Outback Steakhouse. You may laugh because I'm sure it's pleb-tier or something, but goddamn it was the most delicious thing. I ordered it medium. It had been trimmed of fat. It was tender. There was seasoning.

All my life, steaks were simply pulled from the freezer, thrown directly on the grill without defrosting, seasoning, trimming, or tenderizing, and cooked until they were brown, chewy, and the only fluid was grease from the bulbous gristle or A1 sauce.

I feel like my eyes have been opened.

>>4772119
The biggest thing was the fact it was medium. So juicy, so flavorful.

My mother, and the rest of her family, have a neurosis about meat. If it is even the slightest bit pink inside, it is 'raw' and will 'make people sick'. If my father ever cooked her a hamburger, steak, chicken, anything that was less than shoe leather she would throw a tantrum, pout, and refuse to finish her food moodily.

The other day, after setting the table, I went out and pulled my steak off the grill early so that it would be medium. It cut so easily, and the juices were a faint pink.

Afterwards, my father asked how it was, and I told him it was delicious. When I asked him the same, he said in a quiet voice, 'I would have liked a steak like yours better.'

It felt very sad.

>>4772119

Try it blue next time.

You will cry tears of joy.

>>4770829
OP I could no longer read this thread after your chicken story. You go bitch slap her. RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

When I was living at home my mom would do all of the cooking. Sometimes she would make something that was amazing, but... she never and I MEAN NEVER measured anything, So if she tried to make it again. It would always be slop.

>>4771493
Noone cares.

>>4772150

You know that's a 5-hour-old post right

>>4771168
This is bait right? No one just eats ranch pasta...

>>4770868
My family does shit like this all the time!

>>4772150
>Not knowing that no one are two different words.

standard family dinner:

>roast chicken or roast pork
>green beans w/ prosciutto, or corn w/pine nuts
>bomb ass salad
>bread & butter

meal of the gods, i love my mom