/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>5293931
more like cringe.

That's why you chop at the pit, not stab. That's gotta sting.

I'll dump what I have

>>5293941

who the fuck stabs at the pit to take it out holy fuck

>>5293945

>>5293949
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an emergency announcement:

Some loser on /fit/ just got called the fuck out by this girl he was texting. Laughter ensues:
>>>/fit/25696898

>>5293956

>>5293960

>>5293964

>>5293966
chiken nuggers

>>5293969

>>5293968

>>5293969
every time

>>5293974

>>5293941
Where would you even get a microwave that could fit that pizza?

>>5293955
>reduced sodium salt
wat

>>5293980
Are you fucking retarded?

>>5293973
This really is horror story shit. I'd question its validity, but we've seen people on here wondering why their spaghetti set on fire in a dry pot so...fuck.

>>5293999
Some things that happen on this board are too weird to be fake. You just can't make that shit up.

>>5294008

>>5293966
My sides!
Oh good lord!!

>>5294010

>>5294015

>>5293982
half of it is potassium chloride instead of sodium chloride

>>5294020

>>5293960
>>>>/fit/25696898
What a fantastic day. Thank you anon.

>>5294024

>>5294026
You are welcome. I'm glad someone on this slow board found the time to click it and enjoy it with me.

>>5294033

>>5294035

>>5293956
>>5293964
>>5293968

I never get what's so funny about these...

>>5294036

>>5294028

>Well you gotta do what you gotta do

EVERY FUCKING TIME

>>5294040

>>5294050
.gif edition.

>>5294056

>>5293956
>business lamb

every
time

>>5293966

Whelp, that put me out of commission for five minutes while I scraped my sides off the walls.

>>5294065
I'd only ever seen that one, the rest had me in tears from laughing so hard.

>>5294064

>>5293977
dirt rockets

I lost twice

>>5294070

>>5294076

>>5294079

Thanks alot, OBAMA

>>5294082
I'm running low on steam hopefully I made a few of you faggots chuckle

>>5294085

>>5294088

People like this exist? You didn't notice your hand there? Holy fuck.

>>5294090

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi-Up8Xuh9c
boiled egg

>>5294094

>>5294104

>>5293972
looks like someone

has too much thyme on their hands

>>5294106
That's about it for me. I will leave you all with a tale.

A sad, but true tale. A tale about a man. A man with nothing left to lose. A man who's reality is only being held on by a jar of queso and a can of chili:


http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZKxhI4I5kq8&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhW93CV6m-JU&start2=&authorName=Roy+G+Biv
...Also a depressing Macaulay Culkin:


http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D9pzm1lQX0qU&start1=&video2=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvQVeaIHWWck&start2=&authorName=snoopsagan

>>5294111
You have pushed me to the edge, Carlos. Next field trip, I will make you disappear.

>>5294021

Isn't a potassium a mammal?

>>5294008
Fucking LOL!

>>5293960
Is that really underipe ?

>>5294036
what

>>5293972

How did he take the pic

>>5294053

I'm surprised they aren't served on pads

>>5294053
I can't find the pic but there's one about carrying hot hard boiled eggs in your coat pocket to keep your hands warm in winter

>>5294096
Ok I laughed way too fucking hard at this.
>his hand near the end
>poking with pencil

>>5294096

good god the guy handling shit has the DTs or something

>>5294096

Oh god I can't

>>5294035
Oh gross he needs a hair net

>>5293982

You joke about that but I once saw a package of plain salt advertised as "20% less sodium". It was simply a 10-ounce sized container with only 8 oz in it.

>>5294086

took me a good minute to get it and then I just cracked up

>>5294134
Go pro

>>5294231

COOKING IN 4K
ARE YOU READY FOR THAT SHIT
HERE WE GO
LET'S GIVE THOSE ONIONS A NICE SIZZLE

>>5293948
if you smack it firmly with blade horizontal to it then it is an effective and mess-free method. clearly this person is fuckwitted though

>>5294244
I don't get it.

>>5294244
2smart5me.

I don't get it.

lamb palak

>>5294244
>>5294268
>>5294271
Looking at the ingredients, I'm guessing that's just sugar coated peanuts or something of the sort. Maybe it was because there's all these things that may be contained in it? I don't know, but I personally always thought it was funny how they specify WARNING: CONTAINS PEANUTS when the first ingredient is peanuts.

>>5294283
it's obviously peanut butter lol

>>5294244
>anchovies
You know, I don't think I've ever seen that on the allergen list for food.

>>5293931
What the fuck did the guy in OP's pic trying to accomplish with stabbing a halved avocado?

>>5294040
I can't believe this didn't wake him. It would have sounded like someone shooting out a window with a shotgun from inside the apartment.

>>5294271
>>5294268

>>5294056
Cracking eggs is hard work.

>>5293972
A thyme lord? Oh my.

>>5294309
i can identify with the thought process

>hmm this pit, if i take it out with a spoon it will waste precious avocado.
>I know! Knife in the pit, then i can yank it out

and so on

>>5294367
jesus christ

>>5294367
I know a guy who ate this dressing like that.

>>5294064
>When he tries the save the last dog an just gives up immediately

>>5294122
Yes. The salt is red because of all the potassium in it. Potassium is naturally salty-tasting but has no salt. They dry it and grind it, then mix with regular salt. But it can cause digestion problems so they don't sell it whole.

>>5293972

shit always makes me laugh

>>5294391

more /ck-g/ crossover

>>5294300
lel

>>5294395

I remember seeing this on /b/ years ago. I wonder if that was the OP

>>5294064
>When he tries the save the last dog an just gives up immediately

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Bears-Sugar-Free/dp/B000EVQWKC

>>5294096
what

FUCKING HOW.
HOW ARE PEOPLE THIS SHIT.

>>5294410
http://youtu.be/sMjgaa5j_LE

?

>>5294410

Thank you so much for linking this, I'm literally crying with laughter reading these reviews.

>>5294435
>This might be worse than drinking that 3-Liter tin of olive oil.

>>5294435
Just to let people know this is also the retard who drank the 20-year-old Crystal Pepsi.

>>5294096

I urge everyone to watch whatever Look Around You episodes there are on youtube, they are all hilarious

>>5293931
what was he trying to do ?

>>5294500

He got attacked by a tweeker on the street and tried his best to fend off the knife

>>5294500
http://youtu.be/eGd6GfHG77I?t=13s
Just the next 3 seconds.

>>5294069
>>5294073

http://liartownusa.tumblr.com/

steaktoss.gif

glockaroni and cheese... a /k/rossover

>>5293972
every fucking thyme

>>5294563

Jesus, that took me a while.

>>5294106
>none pizza with left beef

>>5294111

>>5294111

>>5294435
He was smart to be drinking powerade when planning to have diarrhea.

>>5294111

>>5294240
fuck ruining your knives by smacking an avo seed

just spoon that bitch out

>>5293955
>reduced sodium
>salt

>>5294642
this always bugged me because the end of the loaf would be left toasted and be shitty next time you wanted some. Always have to waste the first slice.

>>5294642
Toasty.

>>5294287
the eight allergens which must be listed on nutrition facts panels:

fish
shellfish
peanuts
tree nuts
wheat
soy
milk
eggs

>>5294784

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRFMgHBNA5Y

>>5293931
Looks like bullshit, did he squeeze lemon juice or lime juice on it in order to stop it going brown too?

>>5294079
Beta: The thread

>>5294050
>tfw he's the "healthy food" monster now

>>5294852
Cookies made with white flour and processed sugar and fat should be a "never" food.

>working as a cook at a restaurant owned by parents
>while dicing some onions I slip and cut my finger
>go grab med kit and start cleaning wound
>suddenly feel light headed(it had been awhile since I last ate, so I thought it was due to that)
>feel light headed again x 100
>...
>wake up to my dad picking me up off the floor and my mom screaming
>my little cut caused me to faint and made me fall on my face
>open kitchen so everyone in the restaurant heard
>customer comes running in saying she's a nurse and starts asking me what day it is and what my name is
>I'm still out of it and couldn't form words
>she puts a bandaid on my cut and I go into the back room because I was too embarrassed to show my face

Whatever happened to testing if the deep fryer is ready by throwing ice cubes in it, or is that before your time?

>>5294050
>dat beta hand trying to "pet" cookie monster

>>5293966
Maybe because I'm drunk, but hoky shit that was hilarious

>>5294014
>>5294067
>>5295333
smells like same fag, because that picture was fucking dreadful.

>>5294949

Oh god that made me laugh out loud

>>5294112
You know people have hard-dubbed it and put it on youtube, right?

>>5294287
I wonder how anchovies would even end up as traces in a peanut butter factory to begin with. shelfish might happen because there's some additivies made from it, but anchovies? do they have drunken pizza parties in the assembly line at time?

>>5294079
Oh, dear lord... Maybe it's a good thing I've never lived with a roommate.

>>5295558
visibly cringed and let out an "uuuughhhh!"
That's a first.

ITT: newfag identification

>>5293956
>>5293964
>>5293968
>>5293974

these always have me gasping for air

>chicken whispers
>pond kings
>harvest friends
>vinegar husbands

holy shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8

YL, wildcats.

>>5294096
>points at beaker
>little fingers points at bunsten

>>5295601
This always depresses me. I feel bad for him.

Unless he's some elaborate troll, then 10/10 top kek

>>5294435
Subscribed!

>>5293956
fucking lost it at rainbow log

>>5294574
The hell?

>>5295601
>>5295606
What is this shit

http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZKxhI4I5kq8&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhW93CV6m-JU&start2=&authorName=Roy+G+Biv

>>5294574

Chef Tony, man, he can do everything

>>5294574
I LOVE OYU CHEF TONY!
For some reason, my cousins always saw the full infomercial whenever it was on TV. They just liked it.
I never understood, but years later I'd do the same whenever the Heatwave infomercial with Mr. T was on TV.

>>5294764
>>5293982
Now with 50% more Chlorine

>>5294096
>The new albumen is out now
Every fucking time

>>5293960

Bugger, that flew me by. Sounds like a good lark. Is it up on an archive?

>>5294096
Why is British humor so fucking perfect

>>5293977
>>5293974
>>5293968
>>5293964
>>5293956

in what time and space is this funny?

>>5294329
go back to reddit and fucking stay there

>>5294076
i lold more than i should.

>>5293960
Image from the pre-internet

>>5293972
thyme to clean up

>>5293960
>>5296026

Anyone know if it got archived? Sounds like a good kek

>>5296026
>>5296255
Some on fit should have it. I was there. It was hilarious.

>>5293969
my boyfriend started hyperventilating at this post.

It was just too much.

I've sent him to another room so the tears from his hysterical laughing fit may dry.

god bless,
-anon

How the fuck do you stab at a fucking avacado hard enough to go through it and your goddamn hand.

What a retard.

>>5293969

o GOD LAUGHING TOO MUCH
aaaargh FUCK i THINK i HAVE TONSILLITIS
fuck it huuuuurrrts

>>5296297
Looking closer it appears he may have missed the core

>>5293977
>dirt rockets

>>5294367

>>5294395

>>5293941
I was the OP for that thread. I'm happy that people are still having a laugh about that.

>>5293931
dumping

>>5296659
#foodgore

>>5296659
This is pretty damn neat.

dunno if this counts. its a restaurant sign

the crocs face cracks me up

fish is food?

thats it sorry guys fucked up and posted 2 in a separate thread. heres a couple roos for you as an apology

>>5294244
anchovies

>>5294091
yes, yes they do
there are people I know, that I would NOT trust with boiling an egg. they would explode it somehow, or boil their hands, or force-feed the egg in its shell to the family dog

I want some breadanimals.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZTD4jAoIro

>>5294435
He's called L.A. beast but he was born in Alameda County. I know Los Angeles when I see it "We From Here, Ya'll talk funny Ya'll got the accent".

>>5296706
Jesus Christ for real? Kangaroos are fucking dangerous. Have you seen their back legs? Their arms? Holy shit parents why

>>5296762

THEY ARE ARMED?!

>>5296762
They are just wallabies, look how small they are.

Remember ZooPals, /ck/?

>>5296768
>>5296765
Kangaroos are Jacked

>>5296780

>>5296659
Hahah oh god that's fucking sick

>>5295666
Doesn't matter how many times I see that. I still laugh out loud, every damn time.

I don't know what gets me more, the bit where he's repeating "Happy birthday" while the camera focuses on a bowl of shitty canned chili, or the last 10 seconds of the video in general.

>>5295601

>Jar of "cheese sauce"

I always wonder, what the fuck is in that stuff? I mean, it can't be real cheese, it has to be some kind of cheese product, I want to see the manufacturing process of it.

>>5296780
Apparently they're complete dumbfucks too.

>>5296991
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

>>5296269
>>5293976
>>5296300

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb1vcaqAivY

>>5296747
It's so CUUUUUUUUTE :3

>>5296659
This gave me goosbumps its so gross and wrong.

Yet i would fucking LOVE to do that myself. Just because how sick and disgusted i would feel.

Im a bad person.

>>5297095
Is she just sitting there munching on a jar of mayo?

>>5293931
He better not have wasted that avocado

>>5297267
I think it looks fake anyway, it would take a fair bit of effort to stab through a pip and not make a mess of the avocado.

>>5297268

The avo has been squeezed hard like would happen if you were trying to stab the seed. You can see the line running around about half a cm in from the skin

>>5294010
fucking. lmao

testing 1 2 3

>>5294020
the average ro/ck/star?

>>5293931

Bought this a couple of years ago at an Asian Grocery.

>>5297303
>Filename isn't OP's seasoning of choice
Come on man.

>>5294367
what's weird is we can eat straight sugar and straight protein but can't eat a tablespoon of butter

>>5293973

This seriously made my sides and condiments go into orbit.

So. Fucking. Funny.

>>5297340
who the fuck eats straight sugar?

>>5297348
you might want to think about that one again

>>5294028
Holy fuck do I hate people like that.

>>5296762
they're just greys, they're as harmless as any other animal in a petting zoo.

>>5297264
>>5297095
they're funny but also fucking sad.

>>5297268
it didn't stab thru the pip, the knife slipped passed it. haven't you ever tried to jar out a avo seed before? they're slippery

>>5297348
>what is toffee

>>5293966
fucking lost, god thats retarded

>>5294015
i'm wondering how many people understand this. i'm wagering about 10%.

>>5293956
How are these funny? They put different names omg so fucking funny!@!@! Seriously kill yourself.

>>5297013
no u

>>5297387
Yes Radiohead is super-obscure edgy underground hipster elite and no one has heard of them.

>>5297377
1:1 sugar AND butter

shoulda said caramel or candy

>>5294758
>an avocado seed is harder than my knife

>>5294775
I think you would cut the last slice with a regular knife then run the magic knife over it after

>>5293966
I'm pretty sure I've seen this a long time ago. Maybe even before the internet.

Still funny.

>>5293972
what the fuck

>>5296701
http://youtu.be/0W8_GXmu2e0

>>5297518
He's got a lot of thyme on his hands.

You see?

Thyme... on his hands...

>>5297511
knives are harder than glass but using a glass chopping board sure does blunt it useless.

>>5297591
How did he take the photo?

>>5297591
.See >>5294111
and while you're at it. I hope you get MRSA and end up having hot painful diarrhea in the middle of costco.

>>5297511
>has never owned good knives
>probably uses a glass chopping board
>has never honed his knife
>knife is probably chipped to shit

dont post next time

>>5294960
there is a funny cartoon of that with the quote, but I don't have it
>>5296614
they look like burn victims
>>5296659
what flag is that?
>>5297013
there's a /ck/ version of this you stupid faggot

>>5294410

I fucking died a third of the way through.

>>5297617
>has never owned good knives
i do
>probably uses a glass chopping board
i dont
>has never honed his knife
i do
>knife is probably chipped to shit
it's not. an avocado pit is not going to chip my knife to shit you fucking idiot

>dont post next time
no u

>>5297617
An avocado pit is not going to chip a fucking knife.
Do you think a wood cutting board is going to chip a knife?

muh knuffs

Hello Wildcats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rPYsXmcUrw&list=UUM4k8G5arnMdnGP_2S6XZdA

>>5297663
It's been posed 3 times already ITT

>>5296769
Zoo-zoo-zoopals.
Buzz-buzz-zoopals
Zoopals make eating... fun!

>>5294028
im on the shitter laughing manically while my downstairs neighbors are saying what the hell

>none of these videos have been posted yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTXmea7Dg2U

>>5297760

>vanilla cream wafers
>marshmallows
>grapes
>bean sprouts
>bannanna slices
>in apple juice
>with stone utensil

>No Merril Howard Kalin

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMColAwUht4
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sckAcR2oT70

>>5293955
>salting pizza

>>5294167
reminds me of the one about putting an egg in your coffee to boil it

>>5297717
What?

>>5297095
jesus fuck thats not even in america - that was taken on vancouver island BC

>>5295601
http://www.bustedoffenders.com/utah/ogden/sex-offenders/steven-eugene-reed/5887

>>5297903

>>5297903

>>5294053
NO NO NO I HATE SEEING THIS PIC NO

>>5296659
in japan, the fish would still be alive now.

>>5297983
I know, right? It's fucking bullshit how in north america we get all the shitty stale leftovers.

>>5294764
Most likely it is a mix of table salt (NaCl) and potassium salt (KCl). Just a word of warning, never lick a sylvite rock (potassium salt rock), it tastes like salt x10.

>>5297836
so?

>>5294410
>See all 744 customer reviews (newest first)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOmDeOF6exw

>>5296621
AWFUL

Scharfer Senf ONLY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGqtjcyxlQ&list=UUJKZPzPh2EbtztPQzDv1kpg

Everything about this video is terrible

>>5298089
> the blur (I need glasses now, thanks)
> the "tomato" sauce
> the oil
> she washes the garlic because of reasons, but does not remove the germs
> garlic + garlic powder, onion + onion powder

>>5294466
Twenty year old Crystal Pepsi will not make you sick. Brad Jones drinks it on a regular basis, and it has never made him sick. LA Beast used a vomit inducer, which is why the video has so many jump cuts and why he kept filming

>>5296754
He grew up in the Jersey burbs

>>5296621
I have no idea what this is supposed to be but it's definitely NOT a Leberkässemmel.

>>5293931

>>5294028
>SWIMPS
>SKRIMPS

I'm dying

>>5294076
This needs to exist

>>5297792

Just found out that Merril Howard Kalin died at the age of 45 in his home:
http://www.legacy.com/guestbooks/chicagotribune/guestbook-premium.aspx?n=merrill-kalin&pid=112237897

>>5296608
>This kills the thread

depression edition
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8

>>5298089
>Italian cooking
>don't fucking use olive oil, only canola or veg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KswWfq2drCM

Your brain is now sketti.

>>5293980

They're pretty small pizzas.

>>5294111

From the Foul-Mouthed Baker.

http://foulmouthedbaker.com/2013/06/11/cake-doesnt-know-how-to-give-a-shit/

>>5294040
>>5294312

This reminds me of a story I had a few years ago.

>working at a property management company
>get emergency call at one of the apartments
>joy
>drive up
>the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
>tenant sitting on a stretcher with some firefighters, his face all blackened and with an air mask on.
>go find fire chief
>guy gives the story, has to refrain from laughing
>tenant is high as a fucking kite
>gets the munchies, figures that some deep fried potatoes would hit the spot
>starts frying potatoes
>gets tired, so he wants to take a nap
>doesn't want to get wakened before they're done so he disconnects the smoke alarm
>takes a nap
>he's still frying potatoes
>tenant who lives below him arrives
>someone tells him what happens
>not very happy with the four inches of water in his apartment from the fire department
>"YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER"

I guess that's not that funny of a story.

>>5295606

He's a sex offender you know

>>5297792
raw chicken, lettuce on top of where raw chicken is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7BiXCG6hRs

>>5298077
this is actually pretty precious

>>5294167
Ta-da!

I got a shitload of these. I'll dump all the food ones.

>>5298949

>>5298949
They won £60 for that.
That is fucking retarded.

>>5298958

>>5298965
>>5298963
Someone won 60 yuropdollars for just saying to go to the library.

>>5298976

>>5298982

>>5298986

>>5298989

>>5294122
>Isn't a potassium a mammal?
Wat

>>5298986
Who the fuck butters his crackers ?
> inb4 America

>>5299014
This is all Yurop, friend.

>>5298932

Luv me some Brodie ;)

>>5299018
britshits are not european

>>5299018
All England to be specific

>>5294037
>>5296035

shut your fucking mouths.

>>5299059
They are obviously Antarctican.

>>5299289
For all intents and purposes the UK can be considered an unorganized territory of the United States, much like American Samoa.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unorganized_territory#United_States_territory

>>5293949
Applebees is good tho

>>5296255
http://archive.heinessen.com/fit/thread/25696511#p25696898

Perhaps the greatest ever.

>>5297391
This made me gag.

>>5298143
>people may think my sauce has a great deal of oil in it (which it does), but you can remove it

>>5298989
In Canada, mouthwash caps are called "Indian shot glasses."

Because the native people have a penchant for drinking mouthwash.

>>5299596
>and just start cold whippin em at police cars
everytime

>>5298089
That must be a troll.
Dat dark green slime called basil.
Dat knife
Dat shitty canola oil.
That cunt made me check canola is a vegetable.
That deep frying.
30 minutes of useless cooking with a lid.
SHE DISCARDS THE ONION AND GARLIC AND ADD FUCKING DEEP FRYING OIL TO HER SHITTY SAUCE. SAUCE, NOT PUREE, SAUCE.
No, fuck you, I'm out.

Her other vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FiRjxaNTWM&list=UUJKZPzPh2EbtztPQzDv1kpg

>>5300777
Canola isn't a vegetable, it's a seed oil.

>>5300777
Greasy : the musical

I'll just leave this here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4zw99VsoMA

Such a shame there is no subtitles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrdYgY-UiCM

>>5297760
>>5297774
I'd eat it.

>>5297903
At least they're happy.

>>5296478
wow great job. go you.

>>5300854
>(FUCK YOU)
>Hi you bitches
>Today, we'll be 'lil gourmand
>So, as a start, we'll say to Mr Dukan (is he known outside of France?) to take it in the ass.
>Ass fucked, you can shove your diet up your ass (I lack synonyms in English)
>Yeah, today we eat like fat porks as we'll make cakes.
>But not any cake, no, CUPCAKES.
0:30 into the vid
>But not any cupcake, no, RAINBOW CUPCAKES
>But not any rainbow cupcake, no, 'cause we gonna make rainbow cupcake.
>But wait, it's not only for cock suckers
>Fucking homophobes can also make 'em.
0:47 1. Ingredients.
>So, for 6 rainbow cupcakes, we need
>half an egg
>SHIIIIIIT SHIT, I <shit on> YOU
>SO, we need 1 egg, 140g milk, 80g sugar, 130g flour, 5g yeast, 2g cocaine, and 60g microwave melted butter.
>Then you mix everything with a whip (these BDSM puns work in both languages)
>A whip
>Can't I make jokes?
>Do you know the pun?
>Oh you want jokes? OK.
>Hi, I'm Colonel Mustard (he's a character from a show I don't know), and I have a large penis.
2. Rainbow effect 1:20
>You cut your shit in 4 'lil bowls to colour them
>(random shit about prime colours)
>Here we are, who want Teletubbies semen?
>"Oh, he's so vulgar, honestly"
>SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, <hooker>
3. cooking
>Here we are for a nice bioman poop
>yellow force, red force, ... ...
>And hop, 13minutes in the oven
>"oh, it's not possible it's 13 minutes the video ins only 3 min-"
>DO YOU WANT A MEDAL ? DO YOU WANT A FUCKING MEDAL?
4. adding shit on it
>for the frosting, you need 250g soft butter
>Not hard, not melted
>Kinda like my dick
>Then you mix with 250g icing sugar
>(yada yada), and you add it on your cupcake
>kinda like my dick
5. pimping that bitch
>you can add 'lil pearls, 'lil sweets, 'lil shitty craps, so your gf will say "oh, it's so cute, i'm gonna eat plenty to have a ginormous ass, and then I'll spend all my dought(money, no pun in French) in the Dukan diet.

>I love you.
>tenderness and chocolate.

>>5301513
Studio Bagel are friend with Golden Moustache/suricat, who translate their shits (some of their vids crossed the Atlantic.).
Not /ck/, but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN38y5MILbs