/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Roast Pork

bacon cheeseburgers

Guys

I've already tried bagels. They are okay, but they're basically a variation on bread that Jews for some reason really like.

>>5558548
catfish, swordfish, shark, octopus, squid
eagles, vultures, falcons, buzzards, crows, ostriches, fish owls, bats, herons, cranes
camels, rabbits, badgers, bees, wasps, flies, ants
lobster, crab, clams, oysters, shrimp

>keeping kosher
Jew here. Let me just start by saying your'e a fag, but if you insist on following a pain in the ass diet, just become a vegetarian. It's easier.

I thought if you requested to convert the rabbi would turn you away 3 times?

I shouldn't tell this to someone who hasn't finished converting yet. It's an important Jewish secret. But... well, we're all anonymous here.

Get yourself a brisket. Brown both sides in a frying pan (takes a few minutes each side), then set aside. Chop up a bunch of carrots, celery and potatoes. Put them in a deep baking dish. Put the brisket on top of the vegetables. Chop up some parsley and put it on top of the brisket. Mix a cup of ketchup, a quarter-cup of brown sugar, some minced garlic and a packet of onion soup mix all together. Pour it over all the stuff in the pan. Wrap it tightly in foil. Bake in a 300º F oven for, like, three hours. Let sit for a little while before serving.

It's delicious.

>>5558596
I've already eaten brisket before. It was all right. Not as good as a pulled pork sandwich. It always seemed to me what Jews do to make themselves feel better about not being able to eat proper ribs

I'm not planning on keeping kosher. My fiancé can if he wants and I'll cook him his special foods but I'm eating bacon. Sorry to the outraged nosy ladies at the synagogue. I guess they will say mean things to me for this.

at least vegetarians have an ethical argument about animal life and welfare
>>5558590
> hurr durr oysters and crabs are unclean
Fuck anyone who keeps me away from my sea food

>>5558592
Yeah, it's actually two year long course with lots of studying Jewish history and culture and learning Hebrew and praying and going to Sabbaths and brown nosing the rabbi and everyone in the synagogue

>>5558596
But yes, I'll make that. It probably tastes good and is nutritious

>>5558609
>It always seemed to me what Jews do to make themselves feel better about not being able to eat proper ribs

Did you know that cows have ribs, and that they're delicious?

>>5558548
your fiance

>>5558616
...
Like I said, I just think pork ribs >> cow ribs and kosher Jews are really missing out. It's like vegans who think those soy meat products are just as delicious as real meat. Not saying soy meat isn't tasty, it's just not as tasty as the real kind.

Or turkey bacon vs real bacon

Or turkey slices vs ham

>>5558628
Beef ribs are proper. Your taste preference is your taste preference, but you've picked a fight about one of the few kosher substitutes that ISN'T a sad compromise.

>>5558639
I tepidly agree, which is why I'm making your brisket recipe

>>5558590
Co-sign, the idea of having two sets of cookware and the wait time between eat dairy to meat or meat to dairy or the removal or veins or checking egg yolks etc... Super annoying :-/

>>5558644
It's to impress the future in-laws, and it is a pain, I agree. Usually my fiance cooks, so it's a non issue. I'll only have to do it on Sabbath, which he says is my responsibility. When I cook for myself, I don't follow the rules.

>>5558613
The real question is,
>Does OP actually give a shit, or are they just going along with it all?

>>5558654
I don't really care for the kosher rules. It makes cooking and eating complicated with no particularly large>>5558654
payoff in taste or nutrition.

But it makes my fiancé happy, so I do it.

>>5558653
If you live in a city with a big enough population just got to stores that cater to kosher people and make it seem like you made the food by the time they arrive.

Like seriously I did this for awhile and said "fuck this, I am reform anyway" lol

>>5558654
I see. You mean the conversion process. I'm going along with it mainly for in law approval, overall I'm not that impressed.

>>5558662
You learn enough hebrew to read a paragraph, you speak to a congregation, you get a special name and a dip in the mikvah

Like they have "bootcamp" quickie conversion courses, few people actually care about your orthodoxy once you convert its just like this moral obligation thingie that's hard to explain to people outside of that culture :-p

>>5558658
Right now the dinners are only me and my fiance so he can correct my mistakes before the real dinners with lots of people. But I've been thinking of "cheating" that way.

Side question, does keeping a Sabbath dinner make one more likely to be fat? I am noticing a troubling trend at the synagogue and I don't want to join that statistic.

>>5558669
Its hard to say, like I am part of a hippie congregation basically everyone for the most part is skinny but like if everyone is zaftig especially the women lay down on the cream, bread, schmaltz and just eat smaller portions.

>>5558667
That's nice, but these Reform Jews are not hippies like yours, or they particularly like being nosy and telling us what to do. Maybe both

>>5558657
>But it makes my fiancé happy, so I do it.

you have no sense of self

you will never be happy

just place fresh crisp $100 bills on there plate.

>>5558548
>My fiancé wants me to covert to Judaism
Drop her.

>>5558777

wanting and trying to force/control are two different things, if OP's fiance wants but doesn't pressure him to convert, yet he does it out of perceived obligation that's HIS problem, his fault

>>5558777
Nice trips

>>5558704
That cuts deep :( I am internally worried I'm losing my sense of self and replacing it with a fake "Jew."

But the marriage and children won't be legitimate if I am a gentile so, I don't know. I try to not think about it too much.

>>5558548
pre-nup nigga

You are being manipulated already

>>5558548
whatever you make remember to poison it so you can kill her and her family

>>5558704
You obviously never been in a relationship and are a product of the me-me-me-me!!! generation.

Yes, people often have to compromise in all sorts of situations.

>>5559036
Yeah, you are right. What is your fiance compromising on, and is it equal to what they are asking you to compromise on? Just food for thought.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqcOVzx4CqY
pastrami sandwiches and matzoball soup?
>thats literally all the jewish food i can stand

>>5559046
I'm not OP. Compromising with a loved one isn't about balancing the scale and haggling like a Semite , it is about whatever you are comfortable with.

I'm sure we've all met whipped men who are inexplicably happy with their relationship. Unfortunately, I am poor at compromise but I don't delude myself into thinking my selfishness is a virtue in the relationship.

>>5558613
>mfw I read that as 'brown nosing the rabbit'

>>5559008
Your second sentence is full of stupid.

Legally, they will be considered such as long as you register with the courts.

Who gives a toss about what some bug-up-their-ass rabbis say?

>>5559051

I would never raise my kids as Jewlets.

I don't like the idea of conversion for marriage. It's fucked. I have quite a few Jewish friends and most of them wouldn't consider marrying a goyim. Yet if I said, "I'd never marry a Jew or a black" I'd be racist. When they do it they are preserving their culture.

And what's the big deal about converting someone like OP? They obviously aren't going to give a shit about Judaism because of a course and sense of obligation.

>>5559052
You are stupid if you didn't understand what he meant by, "legitimate". You are also stupid if you don't understand that the whole point of his conversion is because of what the rabbis say.

>>5559060
That's my point, assblaster.

Who gives a fuck?

>>5559062
Obviously OP's wife and her "people".

>>5559070
OP's a girl, numb-nuts.

Or gay.

>>5559046
OP

To be honest, my fiance isn't going through anything like l am. He's not compromising on anything, it's all me. But isn't this what the groom in My Big Fat Greek Wedding did?

>>5559048
Nice. I do like those sandwiches. Although I'm not a fan of matzo ball soup. Why ruin a decent soup with matzo?

>>5559087
>To be honest, my fiance isn't going through anything like l am. He's not compromising on anything, it's all me.
Just wait until he starts treating you like his mother and expects you to treat him like a son.

You could get a much better man.

bacon wrapped shrimp

>>5559106
:/

>>5558548
Surf and turf: a nice pork chop and some shrimp.

>>5559036

>You obviously never been in a relationship

i am in one. my boyfriend is lutheran and i am without a religion. he has never asked me to nor does he expect me to convert. because we are, you know, individuals.

>ctrl f "kike"
>"0 results"

>>5559680
Jewish faith is another monster all together.
basically if OP gets with this girl but isn't Jewish,her family disowns her and puts the Sheeny curse on OP.

so either he gets in a relationship worth a shit or goes down the rabbit hole.

>>5558548
if you convert then whos going to be her Shabbot Goy? Also bear in mind any kids you have will be considered jewish

>>5558548
cholent and tzimmes

Don't convert to Judaism, don't be a pussy whipped faggot.

>>5559676
Assuming everything you said is true, you should start thinking about if you really want to marry a guy like that. It's better to break off an engagement than a wedding.

It sounds like he is the average Jewish guy and he expects you to cater to him like you are his mom. I bet his parents still control him and most of this conversion stuff is coming from them, not your husband.

Please tell me his parents don't live in close proximity (i.e.: the same city or state) as you. If you have kids they will be there constantly and undermining you the entire time.

Run OP, run the fuck away.

>>5560075
Jewish guy here. My parents live in the same city as me and my sister and insist on babysitting her kids constantly and are pushing me hard to convert my girlfriend and we are all adults. H-how did you know?

>>5560081
I grew up in an area with a high Jewish population and most of my friends were Jewish and I dated a couple.

I know them all too well. It's like something happens to Jewish girls when they hit 33.

>>5560075
OP here, a lot of the pressure is from the parents, and his siblings, and his best Jewish friends, and their siblings, and their parents. We live close to his family and community.

I thought that after the wedding they would ease up on the BE AS JEWISH AS POSSIBLE but now I'm afraid this conveyer belt will never end.

I'm not fond of food like this. I prefer my soups light.
>>5559957

>>5560081
My fiance is in his late 30s. Even before I arrived on the scene, he had been getting a lot of pressure to marry.

>>5559941
Bull. Stereotyping. I was raised Jewish, forced to get Bat mitzvah'd and all of that. I am not, nor have i ever been, Jewish as an individual and they are totally OK with this, and are even cool with my Lutheran boyfriend.

>>5560232
>I thought that after the wedding they would ease up
hahahaahahahahaha

Sorry, but thinking a wedding is going to solve anything is totally wrong. Wait until you are married and they are pressuring you to have a child ASAP, regardless of your feelings on the matter. Especially if he is in his late 30s.

Do you love him a lot and can't imagine life without him, or was he your first and/or it is out of convenience?

I'm not trying to be a dick with that question or talk you out of what is probably a loving relationship... it just sounds like you may not be very happy in the long run. Assuming your posts are truthful and I know the whole story (which I obviously don't).

>>5560232
>. Even before I arrived on the scene, he had been getting a lot of pressure to marry.
They just want him to get married to anyone. Even a goyim will do as long as she converts. Sigh. Do you really want to be part of that social circle?

>>5558548
>My fiancé wants me to covert to Judaism
Welcome to the winning side.

>>5560249
When we were dating, it was fine. He never ate kosher, did a hannakuh sometimes, but otherwise was a normal guy. I thought he was a Jew like Jon Stewart. It was great. We shared a lot of the same values and I saw an easy going future with him.

Then when we got engaged and meet his parents, it's like he did a 180 turn. Now he can't eat this, utensils have to be separate that, I have to spend my entire Saturdays cooking, go to synagogue, talk to rabbis a lot, go to conversion classes. He changed a lot in the span of a few months, I thought it works just be a phase.

And Jewish food is 98% terrible. I don't like baked goods so that may be my carnivore/seafood taste buds talking.

>>5558548
Dump her and find a nice white girl.

>>5560279
How long were you dating before you got engaged?

It's surprising he changed like that, but once his parents saw that things were serious between you two they probably started getting on his back about it... going on about the importance of Jewish children, he's not getting any younger, he should start thinking about his culture, etc. As people age their priorities change, but it sounds like his parents probably worked on him a lot more than you are aware.

It isn't a phase, it sounds like your new life. How old are you and how soon do you want children? Just be prepared for the pressure from his parents and him inevitably siding with them or being unable to defend you or confront them.

My wife's parents (mostly her mom) are overbearing. I just keep them at an arm's length and am thankful we don't live close. I am anticipating some serious fights with them when we get around to having kids and they try to pull the hover-parent shit or insist they know how to raise them.

In-laws are the worst, but my wife is at least pretty independent.

>>5558548
>My fiancé wants me to covert to Judaism
From? Or are you non believer? Partners asking you to change beliefs for them is retarded in the first place.

>>5560301
It isn't really changing beliefs, more like her fiance wants her to be a Jew on paper to satisfy the wishes of his parents.

>>5560279
>I thought he was a Jew like Jon Stewart. It was great.
John Stewart is a Jew? It all makes fucking sense.

>>5558584
Jews are literally obsessed with bagels because they all suffer from fuckin autism. Science has proven this lol

Making the biggest mistake of your life marrying a jew

>>5560306
His real name is Jonherschel Stewsteinowitzshwartzenowitzart.

Beans
you know how jews love gas

>>5560294
We dated a little less than year. I met his parents for 5 minutes once early on but they patted me on the head and forgot about me. I suspect they thought I would be gone fairly soon. But the relationship lasted much longer.

You've given me a lot to think about. I wouldn't describe my fiance as independent. He cares deeply about what his family and community think of him. I will have a talk with him, because he needs to put me first, not his parents, siblings, friends, friends siblings, acquaintances, rabbis. If he can't do that, it has to be over. I can take this dog and pony show for a few months, but not a lifetime.

>>5560283
read thread, it's a grill. Her husband wants her 2 convert

>>5560336
Still applicable.
Check your privilege.

On a less sarcastic note I totally assumed OP was a guy because I've seen this situation where the female wants the male to convert like 5 times, but heard of any woman who would stand for that kind of bullshit.

>>5560344
Fun fact: Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman got their husbands to convert.

>>5560257
His mother coverted for his father, so there is a family history of that happening. He was 40-ish and not getting any younger and she was already a fan of Judaism, so why not covert.

>>5558548
Shalom, OP! Make your fiancee some tasty oysters wrapped in bacon! It will remind him of the Promised Land! Oy vey!

>>5560323
>because he needs to put me first
You sound like an American grill
>not his parents, siblings, friends, friends siblings, acquaintances, rabbis
You are a goy, you will never be more to him or his friends, family and rabbi than that. Think long and hard about that.

Yeah... This kind of shit is why i will never get married. Fucking prison sentence of an empty life and losing yourself in accommodation. Families. Rituals. Scary scary shit. There's something missing from it all...

>>5560372
I am an American grill so ...

> you will always be a goy
I've thought this too, which is why I'm not excited about the conversion process. I told him that no one is going to be fooled by a certificate that says "Anonette is now a real Jew!!!" but he said that was anti-Semitic and insisted on me doing it anyway.

>>5560387
Drop him like they drop bombs on Palestine.

>>5559680
>because we are...individuals
Well that, and Lutherans are harmless as fuck and are a pretty light form of Christianity. If he were a Catholic Mexican, I would be far more impressed.

As others will inform you, however, Judaism, especially traditional Judaism, is not as forgiving as the No Calorie Jesus Christ Lite juice people are drinking throughout most of the western world. I highly recommend you do some research

>>5560372
Jew here. This is pretty much true. Until you convert, that is.

>>5560387
>but he said that was anti-Semitic and insisted on me doing it anyway.
Of course he did, its standard practice to declare anything that is in the least bit critical about them or their religion as anti semitic. Throwing labels around allows you to totally ignore the argument while declaring yourself the winner. I'm honestly not trying to shit on your parade but this is an issue that you should take a long hard look at. Namely because he (someone whom "loves" you) is saying that you have to change a fundamental aspect of yourself (your faith) to appease him and his family because their opinion matters more to him than whether or not you want to actually make the change.

>>5560395
>Until you convert
Wrong, even after conversion you still are not of the blood, good try chaim. 2nd class is still 2nd class no matter what label you give it.

>>5560408
Especially if you're black. jews hate black jews more than palestinians

>>5560408
Its sort of like one step up but not on par with being a jew of matrilineal descent basically.

>>5560416
That is the definition of second class

>>5560392
Research... My family is Jewish, like i've already said. None of this crazy control freak tribe mentality exists in our family. Several of the cousins have married non-Jews, who did not convert. Maybe i'm lucky or something to have been raised in a family that is sane enough not to impose their religion on their children's entire lifestyle, over treating them with basic human respect and love and acceptance of whatever choices they make.

>>5560400
Thank you. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I've been increasingly uncomfortable. It's nice to have someone articulate my hazy thoughts. This whole engagement feels like a bait and switch. Normal american man switched with a religion crazed Jew looking for a Jewish broodmare.

I can do this for a wedding but not forever. I think in a few months, he'll be on jdate.

>>5560435
>jdate
Is that a thing?

>>5559087
>Why ruin a decent soup with matzo?
I don't think this is going to work out.

You've made me reconsider dating gentiles, OP.

>>5560438
I've heard of parents giving their 30-something children a subscription to jdate when they get impatient for grandchildren.

>>5560435
>This whole engagement feels like a bait and switch.
Dont view it in that light, that makes it negative for (from my perspective as a random outsider) than it is. The way that I would look at this is one of control and of what is more important to your partner. Making you feel comfortable and welcome as you are or changing you to conform to the biases of his community.

>>5560450
I just googled it, some merchant is making many shekels. It is a really good idea though given the way the community of G-d's chosen functions though.

>>5560456
While that is a reasonable assessment, it would've been fair to me if it were clear from the onset that this would be in store for me. But you're right, it is a much better interpretation of the situation.

>>5560465
Well regardless, I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this, my only advice is (and this is for both males and females) is dont lose yourself in the process of getting married even though that is part of marriage it isnt the whole of it. I am married to someone myself and while she is overbearing about minor things around the house she is very understanding about things that actually matter. Just remember that your partner should never put themselves or their families first over the relationship. If the relationship isnt the top priority of your partner when it comes to how they deal with issues and yourself it is time to do some thing about the long term viability of the relationship more than "maybe in the future it will change."

>>5560435
>>5560323
You should really put some serious thought into what you expect out of life and if getting married to your fiance is going to fulfill your expectations.

No relationship is perfect, but you can't be the only one who is giving. I wouldn't even say you are compromising, because it doesn't sound like he or his family are making any accommodations on your behalf.

I was with my gf for 7 years before we got married, 4 of those years we were living together. I'm not saying that is the right way to go, but we definitely knew each other and there were no sudden surprises or changes.

Don't answer this if it makes you uncomfortable, but are you feeling like you are settling with the guy? Have you been in many other long-term relationships?

I ask because it sounds like you are settling prematurely. You should not feel like you have to jump through these hoops and rituals and basically throw your old life and social scene away for your fiance, his family, and his community. This is very extreme and unhealthy; once you get married and are coerced into getting pregnant within the first year you will feel far more obligated to stay and "make it work".

Good luck anon. You only live once, don't get sucked into an unhappy partnership for any reason. If you have doubts, prolong the engagement or at least talk about it with your family or friends (not his).

>>5560496
My fiance was my second boyfriend, and first relationship that ever got serious. I think I'm a little out of my depth. I felt very happy during the 10 months we dated, but as I'm losing my previous identity, I have feelings of settling and unhappiness. I had hoped we could maybe good off on children because I am rather young, but if this pattern continues, there will be more pressure for a pregnancy, and then another, and another.

The first step will be to tell my fiance to cancel plans of a wedding and talk things through. I've gotten lost in the whirlwind of it all. Thank you for your advice, anon.

>>5560567
Never feel like the clock is ticking and this is your last chance at a good relationship. This can be a really good experience for you and help you realize what you want in life and the kind of partner that can make you happy. I say partner because it sounds like your fiance isn't a partner who wants to make you happy and meet you halfway, but someone who is lost and maybe not very mature and expects you and his parents to take care of him.

That's harsh, but it is what I got from each of your posts.

Things will not suddenly get better after your wedding day. If you get married, I guarantee the in-laws will start with the not-so-subtle hints at "hearing the patter of grandchildren's feet in the house". You will start feeling pressured to get pregnant within 6 months, and you and I both know raising a child in that kind of environment isn't going to change things for the better. Then you'll think the second kid may change things and eventually you'll be stuck and the metamorphosis into a bitter Jewish mother who nags and loathes her husband will be complete ;)

If you can, try to find an excuse to leave for a week before the wedding. Visit an old friend, see your family, or make up any excuse. Go somewhere away from your husband and his community and relax and think things over. It is difficult to think soberly when wedding fever and the in-laws and social circle are doing their thing. If you have old friends that you still keep in touch with and are not affiliated with him that will help, because you'll get in contact with your past and be able to think about your next step into the future.

Good luck! I hope things work out regardless of the decision, but I think that the feeling of settling is a clear indication. And don't let the idea of his family's reaction even be a part of the decision.

>>5558548
Sabbath? I hear bat head is good. Ozzy swears by it.

>>5560619
why would it be a week before? so she can think it over, and inevitably go through with it?

bitch, do it now.

>>5560656
Yes, I'm canceling the wedding now. He'll be angry because he pretty much planned everything, the venue, the guest list, the food, the ceremony, the music, the chair dance, the speeches. But he can't go through with it without a willing bride, right?

>>5560656
No, I meant "take a week off" before the wedding, not take time off a week before the actual wedding. I know, I read it after I posted and figured it would be ambiguous.

>people believing OP
Good troll OP, but you took it too far without much humor involved.

>>5560668
wait what's the difference?

>>5560684
Take a 7-day vacation prior to the wedding versus take time off 7 days before the actual wedding.

I'm guessing I'm a bit late to this party, but I would like to add something. A lot of times jewish families are really intolerant to outsiders. They'll be nice to your face, but once you turn your back they get to be nasty in their gossip about you, simply because you're not a Jew. The more traditional ones will downright think of you as some sort of subhuman.

OP, this is coming from personal experience. I would hold off on a wedding, especially since you've only known the guy for a year. I don't know, but that doesn't seem like enough time for you to decide someone's the right person.

Also, make nothing but three latkas for the supper.

>>5560435
I'm starting to think you may be a troll and not legit...

>>5560752
I went to a pretty Jew-dense high school. One Jew wrote some bullshit for his graduation quote that was an acrostic which read something like, "stupid goys stop beating your wives".

If I did that about Jews I would have been in deep shit. If I was a politician or public servant my career would end when that surfaced, even decades latr.

Fucking Jews.

Kill her.

>>5558590
>>5558644
Another Jew reporting in, We keep the home quasi-kosher, in that we don't bring shellfish/pork into the house. Dad used to keep kosher when he was growing up, and sometime in college someone introduced him to cheesesteaks and he fell in love. So those get a pass, as would burgers. He's not too happy about turkey bacon simply because of "bacon" in the name but he doesn't make a stink about it.

But >>5558548 there are a buttload of beef/kosher-bird dishes you could make. If you want to win over the parents, you gotta serve kishe (which I think is also known as stuffed derma?) which is basically fat on fat on fat and nobody ever hates that.

>>5562054
Oops, meant kishke, sorry about the typo.

Also >>5558548 I just want to add that my mom converted, but Dad never pressured her into it. It was her idea, even. You shouldn't be converting unless it's something you actually want to do. Try doing research, go to services with your fiance, see how it makes you feel and whatnot.