/ck/ - Food & Cooking

you can't really impress her with cooking prowess if she's a professional chef, so just make your version of a normal meal (you can do something fancier, like roll your silverware or use cloth napkins or whatever, but that just means you care) and don't make a big deal out of it.

When I'm worried about a meal, I usually default to bread and assorted cheese/vegetable/olives and wine and chocolate. For just two people it's not gonna break the bank (though those things are expensive) and it's really nice. I also like bread and olive oil and something called "dukkah"; do that if you have nuts and a large spice cabinet; it's cheaper.

Ya dun goofed kid. Can't cook and trying to impress a snobby chef? Oh boy you are fucked.

>>5949132
1 part butter 1 part rapeseed oil hot in a pan
1 large cut of fine meat no less than choice quality salt and pepper both sides
90 seconds on each side in the hot oil/butter
a green veggie smothered in salt pepper and olive oil oven 400 for 15 min

that's it you're not going to out cook her just get good ingredients and keep it simple

>UNLESS YOU'RE ONE OF us already, you'll probably never cook like a professional. And that's okay. On my day off, I rarely want to eat restaurant food unless I'm looking for new ideas or recipes to steal. What I want to eat is home cooking, somebody's-anybody's-mother's or grandmother's food. A simple pasta pomodoro made with love, a clumsily thrown-together tuna casserole, roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, all of this is pure exotica to me, even when I've been neck-deep all day in filet mignon and herb-infused oils and all the bits of business we do to distinguish restaurant food from what you get at home. My mother-in-law would always apologize before serving dinner when I was in attendance, saying, 'This must seem pretty ordinary for a chef . . .' She had no idea how magical, how reassuring, how pleasurable her simple meat loaf was for me, what a delight even lumpy mashed potatoes were-being, as they were, blessedly devoid of truffles or truffle oil.

>>5949132
>I just started dating a professional chef
>I decided I wanted to cook for her today
you're fucked

ANY of jamie oliver's 30 minute meals, you can easily find them on youtube or tpb.

And then ask her what she thinks about your food and what you should correct, if she is not a whore she'll appreciate and give precious advices.

>>5949153
Qtest thing about her is that she's totally okay with just ordering a take out pizza for us since she knows I'm not too well versed in cooking shit, but I want to at least try to make something nice since she always works so hard to make such great food for me

She also said she's bringing eclairs and cream puffs and shit for dessert because I told her they were my favorite types of pastries

>>5949152
So you recommend a platter with really nice stuff? I am a fan of good bread and Olive oils and stuff, maybe I should get some cheeses or prosciutto or something?

>>5949159
This could work too, I know she's big on steak, so I could maybe try and sauté that or whatever

>>5949166
;_; anon you give me hope

>>5949168
Let me have faith, anon


>>5949173
I'll check that out, thanks!

>>5949166
i really like his writing/speaking style
its da bes

>>5949188
That's Anthony Bourdain right?

Qt chef mentioned owning some of his books and offered to lend them to me, as she stated they're Bretty cool and funny for non chefs too

>>5949168
link to this video pls

>>5949198
yeah,
I would definitely recommend reading them, and if qtchef is down watch his shows on netflix with her.
He can get a little political but hes still funny and entertaining to watch.

I would also recommend watching Mind of a Chef, which is also on netflix.

>>5949174
Well then you don't have anything to worry about or she sees your culinary skill of the special needs variety.

>>5949198
that particular quote is from his first book, Kitchen Confidential.

breddy gud read, would recommend.

Is she fat?

>>5949212
Surprisingly not. She's a former athlete so she likes keeping fit and she never has time to eat cause she's always working.

She has huge tits though.

>>5949203
I'll recommend that to her today. Thanks bruh

>>5949212
Yes, but otherwise lovely and very talented.

>Professional chef
>has time to go on dates
>gets nights off to cook for dates
>fit and has "huge tits"


Yeah, I don't believe you. Enjoy your hand.

>>5949245
regurgitated/10

>>5949239
I just thought this lol

>>5949132
>Professional chef
>Time off for date
>Cooking outside work
Yeah, no.

>>5949239
this.
censored pic or did not happen OP
(spoiler: it never happened)

>>5949132
You're a week late in asking for help, OP. Just make something classic that's impossible to fuck up and everybody finds comfort in. Like bolognese over fresh pasta with crusty bread and rich butter and a nice bottle of red.

Plate an MRE.

Be sure to take the packaging out to the dumpster and not leave it in your trash can to be discovered.

>>5949239
>>5949252
She's off on Wednesdays and Thursdays

Also she just really loves cooking for people. I always tell her that she shouldn't feel obligated to cook stuff for me but I think it's just a pride thing for her

>>5949257
She works at a fine dining Italian place and their veal bolognese dish is fucking crazy good so I don't think I'm gonna go there

>>5949254
No way in fuck. I know for a fact she goes on 4chan (most likely this board) and I'm not risking her seeing pics of her face on an image board

So basically the jig is up.

>>5949288
> No way in fuck. I know for a fact she goes on 4chan (most likely this board) and I'm not risking her seeing pics of her face on an image board

aaand you're asking here about what food to cook for her?

yeah enjoy your hand - why would you lie on an anonymous place lol

>>5949295
Anon pls. I'm sure I'm not the only person with a gf who's a cook

Writing about a meal she made me was pretty stupid, though.

>>5949305
No asking for help at the last minute on a board she frequents was dumb.

>>5949320
No need to worry about doing dumb things i am sure his hand is not jealous

>>5949320
I mean I don't really know where else to ask. My family and friends can't cook for shit, I don't know her coworkers enough to ask them, and all the other boards would probably ask for her tits or something.

I also got some really decent ideas from you guys, so I'd say it wasn't totally stupid to ask on here

Meatloaf mashed potatoes and green beans

>>5949332
You are focusing on the wrong thing. You are doing this last minute and she knows.

>>5949348
This. She's definitely on here laughing at your sad attempt to impress her right now

find some recipe online for steak
garlic mashed potatoes
some uncommon side vegetable (broccoli rabe)
and buy one of those italian sodas
you don't need to go above and beyond to impress a chef gril, my first date with my gril i made her a grilled cheese with provolone and some tomato soup from my garden
nothing fancy or else you'll turn into pepe

You're going to fail so bad.

>>5949686
So I decided to make Spaghetti Carbonara for us

Here's to hoping I don't fuck it up

it's basically just spaghetti, bacon, egg, parsley, parmesan and garlic right?

wish me luck, faggots

>>5949751
the easier/more simple recepies are, the easier they are to fuck up. get some good ingredients, and dont fuck up the bacon or spaghetti- salt and oil the water, dont rinse the noodles

>>5949769
wait so i just take the noodles from the pot and put them directly into the pan with the bacon and garlic? And then add the egg and cheese in the bowl because if you do it in the pan the egg with scramble, right?

Also thank you for reminding me to salt the water. I'm going to head out and get the ingredients and some fancy wine and bread and olive oil and whatever to eat


What wines pair well with this sort of dish? Should I make salad? My past experience with grills tells me that grills love salad

>>5949288
Hey maybe its the 19y old chef from NYC who work in an italian/french fine dining owned by an ex sous chef from Per Se ?

It doesn't matter if it's good or not, she's the professional not you, and she'll appreciate whatever you make especially if you put in the effort.

>>5949780
Salad is always good for the girls...

a nice fresh white wine. A pino grigio maybe or a riesling

>>5949132
Order chinese.

>>5950153

This. I'm a chef and my boyfriend can't cook fucking anything and I don't care. Not that I don't make fun of him for it.

It's funny because he's been around when I was watching cooking shows (I like having shit on in the background while I'm doing other things and they're frequently the best option) that he knows plenty of things about cooking, yet he has no idea how to cook. Last year I went full retard and tried to make my mashed potatoes in the food processor and they turned into disgusting paste, he made fun of me for not remembering how many times I'd seen people do shit like that on (for example) chopped.

>>5950243
Do you ever get slammed at work, come home, and make him a hamburger?

>>5950308

I've made him burgers plenty of times. It's usually something like that or some freshly made pasta since I tend to always have it on hand, along with some sauce (not jarred but often I make it in huge batches and freeze it). I don't mind, he worked while I was unable to because I have syringomyelia and was debilitated from pain for several years. Sometimes it's annoying but I don't really care, at least I get joy out of making fun of him for not being able to cook at all.

I love when /ck/ is just like my Chinese comics

Dinner is turning out great, fuck yeah mang

>>5950149
So I stealth mode talked during dinner and found out that she is indeed 19 (I assumed she was in her early 20's) and her chef was a sous at per se

How do you know this? Does she post here often? I don't go on /ck/ much so I wouldn't know

>>5950157
I ended up skipping the salad, but I did go with a Riesling and it turns out it's one of er favorite white wines (turns out her grandma was a winemaker back in Russia so she knows her shit)

>>5950334
That feel when your life is an anime for just one moment ;_;

Success. I repeat: Success.

Thank you all for this wonderful ride. She loved the pasta, I loved her dessert, we ended up watching Lucky Number Slevin because apparently it's one of her favorite movies.

Will post qt pics tomorrow

>>5950943
>we ended up watching Lucky Number Slevin because apparently it's one of her favorite movies.

>>5950953
a-anon it's a pretty good movie

>>5949132
Go simple man. Get good ingredients - good bread, good cheese, good wine... maybe do up some chicken or a slab of meat with a good amount of cracked black pepper.

She can outstyle and outcook you, your best bet (and, just speaking from times my girlfriend has impressed me) is to go rustic with it.

If you want to spend time on it, coq au vin or boeuf bourguignonne are flavourful, easy ways to use cheaper meats... they don't look nice per se, but they plate well with some proper bread and a garnish.

>>5950336
its the only female chef from NYC i know ... And you said that she post sometimes here, so...
>>5950348
girls love riesling ^^

>>5950943
Would love to see a picture

>>5950336
>How do you know this?
>That moment when the op doesn't realize he is probably talking to his own girl on a Vietnamese tea forum.

inb4 ramen noodles and barf

>>5949274
Not gonna lie, most of the MRE's are fucking awesome. I think the pork ones and some of the chicken ones are kinda gross, but the pastrys, most of the main meal, and the other shit you get is fucking fantastic.

but its sorta on a
>oh shit im hungry as FUCK basis.

source: innaarmy

>>5949132
She like meat? Actually she's a chef she should I don't even know why I'm asking

Easy bro. Steak is a classic for a reason. Get two t bones or new York strips. Leave it out for 20 min before you cook, put a little olive oil on your hands and massage a generous amount of kosher salt and black pepper pepper and sear the outsides in a skillet using clarified butter. While it cooks grab some garlic and herbs and rub them on the steak. High heat so the outside gets that crust, while the insides remain pink. Leave it on a plate for about 5 min after it cooks

And make some potato salad as a side dish

Enjoy your free pussy and don't forget to wear a rubber

>>5949152
No don't do this, you don't make girls comfortable by giving them a bunch of bread and cheese and vegetables. You give them chocolate and sweets.

>>5949174
Do the pizza thing, trust me on this. Tell her you want her to be as comfortable as she wants, watch movies together while you eat it, tell her to bring pajamas or something. Make her feel comfortable, and you will be in.

>>5950943
>fit
>chef
>doesn't care that youre a shit tier cook
>loves lucky number slevin

Fucking marry her, OP.

Honestly I'm probably gonna dump her soon enough

She's barely free 2 days of the week and she doesn't really put out, which are two things I'm not too fond of

She's alright otherwise but I do have needs

>>5954438
Now you are airing your dirty laundry here where she could see it. Stay classy.

>>5954438
I hope she read this post OP....

>>5954438
and that's why you'll die sad and alone

>>5955275
>>5955268
>>5955078
You're all deluding yourselves if you think you'd be okay dating a person who's barely available and doesn't even put out when she is

>>5951779
>No don't do this, you don't make girls comfortable by giving them a bunch of bread and cheese and vegetables. You give them chocolate and sweets.

This is what fat people ACTUALLY believe

>>5955468
Waräth mean "put out" ? Sorry not a native speaker...

>>5955476

To put out means to let somebody fuck you.

>>5955468
you're deluding yourself if you think OP's chef exists

>>5955480
Ok thanks..

>>5955488
I've seen her post in threads, what OP is describing is an actual grill who does post here. I'm still debating on whether or nt they're actually dating or if he's just trolling

>>5955470

He has a point about the jimjams though

Bitches love jimjams

>>5954438
You know, if you're going to troll you should at least do it under the name that OP has been going by with all their responses

>>5949780
OP....why are you using my vocaroo voice acting name as your name...? I'm not offended, just wondering!

Also the person you're describing you went on a date with sounds a lot like me! Are you in the NYC area? Did I ever run into you?

>>5949166
This seems really condescending to me. Am I just being a bitch?

>I love how shitty this is.