/ck/ - Food & Cooking

We'll start with one of the most impressive recipes I found.

Next up was the closest contender for depression meal #1.

[Rely on Rice]

A lot of this book relies on hotdogs.

Corn dogs too, I guess.

Now for some Mexican flair!

>>6108347
I appreciate what you're doing, but this is just all around sad.

>>6108370
A person made each one of those with extreme care.

Then took a picture.

Then thought it was good enough to put in a book.

Then got the book published and the publishers agreed: yes, these recipes were good enough.

Then people bought the book and saw "pizza corn dog snacks".

They saw them and liked them; so they bought the ingredients, made them and ate them.

These truly are the worst of times.

>>6108378
It's pretty depressing, yes. I've gotten much enjoyment out of this gift. Most due to the blurbs each woman writes in with her K-Mart meal.

Salsa fish. Not sure that's a thing anywhere, except perhaps mango salsa and grilled fish.

>>6108347
>see chicken ballantine on cover

Can't possibly be that ba-

>chicken nugget casserole

God dammit.

>>6108382
That one is made with cream cheese and jarred pesto, rolled into a chicken breast and wrapped in bacon.

Probably the most normal thing here. But even then

It doesn't real count when your first ingredient is premade cookie dough

>>6108379

Your chronological sequencing of the hypothetical scenarios made me lel anon.

+1 internets to you

>>6108349
>it goes from start to the supper table in less than 30 minutes.
wow. i can only assume that these individuals are disabled in some way and cooking meals is difficult for them.

>>6108349

>>6108383
>cream cheese

Fuck me.

Phone is fucking up. It stopped uploading pics. Will post more soon.

I eat like shit

but I dont eat this

this is sad

>>6108361
>editor's note
Are they rationing out hotdogs now?

>>6108409
Not if you purchase Bar S

>>6108379
I didn't think about it like that. Fuck.

Not hasselback, but fan shaped

Why so many hot dog variations? Of all the kids I know, very few like hot dogs nowadays.

I'm not from LA but I'm fairly certain this isn't how it works

Caramelized onions. A favorite /ck/ shitpost topic.

this is the single best/worst cookbook ive ever seen. im not even sure ive seen recipes anywhere similar to most of these.....usually these books are like a simple meatloaf recipe or whatever the fuck.....but TACO DOGS?

please keep posting

>>6108354
I would actually eat this.

>>6108429
h-how will that rice hydrate?

Okay, what's pissing me off is whoever made this book boasts that every recipe contains 5 or fewer ingredients.

And then there's shit like corn dogs and cream of bullshit soup listed as said ingredients.

The cornmeal coating the dog is an ingredient. The pureed meats and vegetables in the soups are ingredients. But the end results aren't ingredients. They're other fucking recipes getting Frankensteined together into some lazy fat bitch's dinner for her kids because the 6 hours a day she spends watching TV leave her no free time to cook a proper meal for them.

>>6109519
The recipe calls for rice that's already been cooked.

In fact, a lot of these recipes are very sneaky with ingredients. They manipulate them so that they'll end up being less than 5 ingredients per recipe, but realistically, it'll take more than that.

Notice a lot of them list "spice mix" as an ingredient. A mix of spices can easily contain more than five ingredients on its own.

>>6108429
I am. And it isn't.

>>6108354
> treating frozen food as ingredient
fucking americannnnsss

>>6108361
Hot Diggety Dogs made me laugh more than it should have

great recipes
can we sticky this for my other poorfag bros
thx alot

>>6108375

to be fair that would make a decent party food

So by '5 ingredients' they mean 5 prepackaged products that already consist of multiple ingredients.

>>6108410
I know Bar S is going to kill me but it's the only bologna I buy.

Granted I only use it for frying and not sandwiches, and at that point it all tastes the same anyway.

>>6108349
>>6108349
>couldn't imagine how a recipe could be depressing
>pics
>it happened

Fuck OP, I feel terrified now.

OP back today. I'll post some more here in a little bit once I finish coffee.

OP please stop posting these, im crying from reading :'(

>>6109805
Hah, that's as bad as the guy who posts his mexican girlfriend's cooking and calls it great. His taco with ground turkey, a soggy flour tortilla, and a velveeta slice. Fucking hilarious

>>6109839
cry everi tiem

>>6108347
>depressing trailer park meals
i honestly thought you were being dramatic until i read the thread
fuck

Conclusion is that a publisher somewhere is fucking a hot but plebby woman and got balls deep into her by enabling this book of her recipes

>>6108349
i fucking invented taco dogs. these assholes stole my shit.

>>6110054
Whoa, I was hoping you croaked

>>6110061
That trip is fake. Been seeing fake sceak lately too

> _il

OP here. 4chins wouldn't let me upload pictures.

>>6110054
>>6110076
I still appreciate the joke tho

>>6110101
No worries OP, moot fucked with something during maintenance.
The bigger problem is that your picture is blurry as shit.
>I created this one night when I was in a particular hurry. There is hardly any preparation involved, and everyone who tries it asks for the recipe. The tender five ingredient entree features skillet-boneless chicken breasts and pineapple slices seasoned with bottled salad dressing
>pineapple slices seasoned with bottled salad dressing
Fucking pineapples season with SALAD DRESSING!

I think /ck/ can finally settle the beans vs no beans chili debate over this dish

>>6110113
Yeah sorry man some of them come out blurry. I think I might have palsy or something. Bad head cold today so probs got the shakes

>>6110101
This makes me sad. I have a ton of good recipes but Im sure they wouldnt make it into any cookbook. But some lady named Becky was in a hurry and put canned pineapple on chicken soaked in pre made dollar store dressing and gets it published...Ugh

How about some more seafood? Luxury style

>>6110076
>>6110110
i am me. i just don't come to /ck/ much anymore. someone linked this thread to me

>>6110114
How? I'ts just shit in a pan that you dip with tortilla chips?

>>6110149
Probably. Or eat out of a bowl with prozac and mad dog

VIEWER'S CHOICE AWARDS

Tell me what you want to see. Not every recipe has pictures.

As depressing as it seems, this slop is considered culinary wonders in flyover country, I kid you not.

>>6110145
WHY EVEN PUT LOBSTER IN THE NAME

>>6110173
To make this food even more ghetto-like.

>>6110158
I nominate the chicken fried rice.
They can't possibly fuck that up.
Or Colorful Kabobs, I want to know what's colourful about that.

>>6110158
Festive fillets please

>>6110183
The kabobs were colorful because of tomatoes and bell peppers. Thats it

>>6110145
What the fuck does this have to do with Lobster?

Also, this is even less of a fucking recipe than all the other shit. It's literally just: "Eat any fish you want and pretend you're eating lobster."

This is some top-tier creativity.

>>6110173

It was a mock lobster.

>>6110189
editor's note is most impressive on this

5 ingredients or less

posts a hot dog

>>6110196
Why do all recipes call for shredded cheese? Why does chicken fried rice need cheese on top?

>>6110189
I festively filleted your mum last night

>>6110210
I didn't even notice it called for cheese until after I uploaded it. God I laughed

>>6110196
How many of these recipes call for cheese?

>>6110238
I'd say a good 80%

I laughed. I cried. I vomited. I laughed again. Great thread.

>>6110243
Ridiculous, I like cheese but it should not be forced into every single recipe.

>>6108347
I got a little defensive, OP. "The cover doesn't look bad," I thought. "5 ingredients or less is a novel idea," I thought. "It can't be that bad," I thought.

Oh the world you have shown me. Today, I cannot rest in peace. I cannot lay my head upon my pillow in ignorance. I can think happy thoughts of the human race no longer. I have lost hope, stability, and direction. There is nothing here for me now. I must return to my planet. My real planet, for this cannot be it.

>>6108407

Requesting Thanksgiving in a Pan on page 63.

>>6108379
Shit.
This is even more depressing than I had originally thought.

>>6110276
And Supreme Roast Beef on page 50.

>>6110276
Combine all the shit you ate on Thanksgiving in a bowl of slop and eat it at once, happy holidays

>>6108358
Hmm, shrimp newberg looks okay
1 can of condensed cream of Mushroom soup
>Nope

>>6110287
i'd eat it, i'd use my own leftover homemade gravy and exclude the green beans though
7/10 might make next thanksgiving time

>>6110158
Requesting "Bubba Pizza" on page 80.

I have to go for a while, friends. I'll be back tomorrow if the thread is still alive.

>>6110196
>fried rice mix
shit why not just say GO BUY RICE A RONI THEN MAKE IT

>>6110199
>zippy gravy
fuck

>>6110309
Because then you wouldn't have mozzarella cheese in your fried rice.

>>6108415
12?! 12 LARGE potatoes? That's a lot of fucking potato. Are we having a potato party?

>>6108429
At least we can hope someone will put a curse on her for that.

>>6108390
>sugar cookie dough
what the fuck

>>6110337
>good for a potluck
Yes, yes they are.

I have a confession. I use large potatoes as a lazy after work meal. When you don't get home until 11 or midnight it's pretty easy to just rub one with oil and salt, throw it in the oven, and watch a movie while it cooks.

>>6110145
>>6110173
>>6110182
>>6110198
>mock lobster

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtN1_bypFw4

>>6110283
>Supreme Roast Beef
>Beef Supreme

>>6110366
Sure, but I bet you don't make 12 of them at a time.

Although I like the idea of some anon waking up on the kitchen floor after a heavy night of drinking, surrounded by large baked potatoes.

>>6110298
Reread it.

>cream of SHRIMP soup

>>6110381
After such a depressing thread, I needed to laugh. Thank you for that, Anon.

>Where the fuck did all these potatoes come from?
>Aw, fuck, I did it again...

>>6108347
Going grocery shopping soon, any recipe suggestions?

What's with this book and the adjective "zippy"? What the fuck?

Best /ck/ thread since sweet sundae ramen? I think so.

>>6110563
Not OP but I think we can all agree that the Taco Dogs look like a real winner.

>>6109687
Obviously. Ingredient in the sense of "Thing I have to put on my shopping list" rather than "Thing I'd have to list on the label if I packaged and sold this slop for human consumption".

Though this is apparently beyond the comprehension of >>6109521 >>6109574 >>6110200

>>6110612
>beyond the comprehension
More like "Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter."

i grew up poor, not poor as fuck, and i'm glad my mom was taught by her mom to cook, so everything was pretty well made southern food, not slathered in butter and deep fried, but real southern food like collards, rice and bean, shit like that. i am sooo fucking glad she never made shit like this. fuck me i would have killed myself.
the craziest thing she ever made was saltines with cheddar and marshmallows that she baked until the cheese was a little melted and marshmallows brown, it's pretty good honestly, but nothing that should be in a fucking book unless it's prison cooking for dummies.

Isn't Taste of Home owned by Reader's Digest? That would explain a lot.

>>6110158
I can't help but wonder about the horrors that "Quick 'n' Easy Lasagna" would entail.

>>6110196

>chicken fried rice
>cheese

i thought i grew up with shitty white trash food but this is on another level

>>6110381
Hah. Now this thread has given me ideas for late night potatoes this may happen one day.

>>6110196
As someone who will put cheese on damn near anything, this even disgusted me.

>>6110298
But condensed soup is so handy sometimes, and it tastes fine (if you buy the lower salt ones.)

>>6110158
Tuna delight

>>6108370
Slice 'em and spread 'em

>>6110197
Haha

>>6110287
>This meal-in-one tastes like a big holiday dinner without the work.
>without the work

you already did the fucking work this is the goddamn leftovers

you don't get to pretend you didn't do shit to make this just because you didn't do shit today

oh wait but you probably just took home everyone else's leftovers you fat piece of shit

>>6110660
Given most of the other "recipes" it probably involves buying frozen lasagna.

I have to see Bubba Pizza

>>6111087
this is what I imagine...
>1 frozen lasagna
>add cheese
>bake as directed
>editors note: you can add more cheese after it's done for more cheesy goodness!

>>6110101
Wa la!

>>6111129
>Add a layer of hotdogs topped with crushed up potato chips for a savoury meaty topping!

come back OP i need you!

>>6111157
Fuck you.

OP here. Woke up briefly from my sudafed induced coma to say I'll be back at uploading things in the morning when I wake up again.

>>6110158
Chow mein chicken holy fuck

>>6108349
I would eat those, I am sad to say.

>>6110210
because murrica i guess

>>6108349
Got to be honest, I would eat those with a fervor both horrifying and erotic.

>>6111382
I don't even know how these people can live with themselves. Fuck. I want to crawl back to bad and stay there.

>>6108415
/ck/-core right here

>>6108390
>the spiraling downfall when they can't find the white fudge coated pretzels anywhere

>>6108399
What is he doing?!

>>6108433
>4 whole onions
>4-6 servings
That's a lot of onion per person. This book is very strange

>>6108347
I have a friend who gave me THIS. I was appalled. It was pretty amusing to read through, though. Most of the recipes were downright disgusting.

>>6110158
>Bacon Cheeseburger Pasta
>yfw hamburger helper
>mfw I have no face

I actually quite like this one

>>6112716
Too complicated. All I ned is three ingredients: a can of tuna, bread and Miracle Whip.

>>6110159
>le ebin flyover state XD
Nice meme bro

>>6112728
Why is Le Happy Negro all speakin' in Kraut?

>>6112737
first thing that popped up on google. But i don't know if that is just the german title, i am from germany.

>>6110159
Europe? Figures

>>6112716
I have one too

>>6112782
Pic

>>6108381
>grajewski

>>6108347

is it okay if I post these images on Reddit?

>>6112783
Most ghetto

>>6112814

>>6112818
>Swap the prunes for cheese
>Use hot dogs
>Call mustard zesty
> sprinkle with cheese

Bam you've got a 5 ingredient recipe with the Taste of Home(tm)

>>6112835
It's zippy, not zesty.

>>6108354
>It's a satisfying supper with spaghetti and a salad.

>supper with spaghetti

>with spaghetti

Where's the spaghetti?

>>6112867
Wa La!

>>6108409
It's so that the kids don't get the hot dog pieces lodged in their throats.

>>6112970
Those kids can choke on my hotdog
>if you know what I mean

Come back, OP! I need to find out what tuna delight is and supreme roast beef!

>>6108354

Do the kids eat the nugger casserole while the adults eat the spaghetti?

>>6112970
If American children didn't inhale their food or shove in it their mouths at lightning speed this wouldn't be a problem.

>>6113445
American children can't even eat kinder eggs, neither them nor their parents can stop eating long enough to read the packaging.

>>6113433
nugger........

>>6113454
Lol how stupid can they be? Are kids smarter in other countries?
>future parents lead by example cycle

>>6112980
I don't care for your implication.

>>6110612

this

do you really not get the concept of ingredients when shopping for recipes. its not that hard people, you count the things you buy not whats in them.

>>6108384

>I simply top crunchy tortilla chips with warm canned chili
>with warm canned chili
>with
>warm
>canned
>chili

>>6110101

>italian
>pineapple
>this recipe
>it's italian because italian storebought dressing
>swiss cheese with pineapple with italian dressing

Make it stop, oh god why does this exist? I'll atone for my sins, lord, please make it stop.

This exists. Someone wrote this and an editor put it together and people bought this recipe book and there are probably thousands of people making these abominations and going, "wa la!" #wifematerial #chefoftheyear #foodporn

I'll never make fun of British food again, just make it stop.

>>6116434
why wouldn't she at least use mozzarella?

>>6116434
>there are probably thousands of people making these abominations and going, "wa la!" #wifematerial #chefoftheyear #foodporn
this thought made me physically ill. probably because it's true.

OP here. Sorry for leaving everyone hanging. I had to go to the hospital because I guess you can't take a lot of OTC drugs and also alcohol. Whatever.

Here's some steak, with more packaged italian dressing

The twist is that every bit of nutritional value in the beans was removed

>>6116656
>I guess you can't take a lot of OTC drugs and also alcohol.

Hey! I was in the hospital for that too a few days ago. Coin-ka-dink. Welcome back.

>>6116697
nice, dude. hope you had insurance too!

I don't really know what this is trying to be. I've never heard of anything remotely like it

>>6116709

Oh no it's mayo, I thought it was mashed potatoes but it's mayo. Baked. Mayo.

I laughed at this one for a good 5 minutes. Thanks, Nebraska.

>>6113570
Nugger

>>6108381
Replace the salsa with marinara sauce and you've got a decent recipe for fish parmesan

That's not such a bad idea

>>6116709

>editors note: reduced-fat or fat-free mayonnaise may not be substituted for regular mayonnaise in this recipe.

yet somehow it is fine to substitute any number of excellent ingredients that pair with bacon with fucking tomatoes.

Chicken + bacon
Chicken, bacon + leek
Chicken, bacon + mushroom
chicken and bacon with red wine
bacon(or lardons) + leek
turkey + bacon
turkey, bacon + leek
turkery, bacon + mushroom
bacon + egg
bacon + sausage
bacon + cheese
Spinach + bacon
liver, bacon + mushroom
pheasant, leek + bacon
bacon, beef + mushroom
bacon + onion
swede + bacon


I cannot fucking beleive it of all the things, tomato and bacon

>>6110173
Imitation lobster meat is often made with shit like cod and pollock. This bitch is just cutting out the middleman.

>>6116750
I know, dude. It's fucking bizarro

Grape jelly always goes with beef

>>6110199
>tainting filet mignon with fucking powdered gravy

I might be sick

>>6116758

p-please tell me you are photoshopping this.

i refuse to beleive this is real life

>>6116758
Disgusting as that sounds, I'm actually kind of curious as to what it would taste like...

>>6112693
If you were caramelising them properly, 4-6 onions isn't that much. They are mostly water anyway.

>>6116778

please test these recipes for us anon... for science

>>6116788
i have to agree, french onion soup has a shit load of onions, so long as you sweat them down it's fine

>>6112733
Brett?

I might make a bunch of these for the Super Bowl just because my drunk shitty friends don't give a fuck and they eat Carls Jr. everyday anyway

ghetto stroganoff

>>6116804

>cooking pre processed food in a slow cooker

The absolute definition of lazy, if this cunt was any lazier she'd probably double the recip-

>>6116804

also why the fuck is she putting "quick-cooking" tapioca into a slow cooker for 6-8 hours

>>6116804
Where does this woman's husband work that they find recipes like this impressive? Holy fuck

Tuna and macaroni and cheese, sure that's great

This is one of the top competitors for what the fuck is this shit award

Velveeta lasagna.

>>6116869
>2lbs ground beef
>1 can sauce
The fuck? I have to use at least 2 cans per 1 lb, this sounds dry as hell

>>6116869
Good god, you could have just substituted for some romano and mozzarella and it would've been fine, and still at 5 ingredients.

What is it with this book's obsession with Velveeta cheese?

>>6116876
No anon, the velveeta will help. you won't poop for a month

>>6116880
>What is it with this book's obsession with Velveeta cheese?

A lot of "cookbooks" are thinly veiled advertisements for the name-brand products recommended in their recipes.

How about some dessert?

marshmallows and that's it

>>6116897
>>6116880
That and they're trying to keep it as white trash as possible...but subtly.

>>6116901
>frozen whipped topping
>thawed
help

>>6116905

Frozen whipped topping is a thing in the US. It's sold in the supermarket. It's a replacement for whipped cream for people too lazy/stupid to make their own.

I'm assuming the recipe is telling you to get some, thaw it, then use it in the recipe in its thawed state.

>>6116914
I live in the us and I've never heard of this

>>6116656
>>6116723
>Less than five "ingredients"

Someone's getting jipped!

>>6116901
You could probably make a key lime pie with 5 ingredients, provided you're using cookie crumbs for the crust. A bit more if you want to top it with something.
Something for the base, limes, butter, condensed milk, eggs.
But I guess that involves too many steps. Baking the crust, whiskin' things together, baking the pie with the filling.

This book's bretty gross, mang.

>>6116927

you don't know what "cool whip" is?

>>6116948
>cool whip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lich59xsjik#t=51

>>6116948
People freeze cool whip?
I don't buy it so I wouldn't know, what's the point of freezing it?

>>6116957

It is sold frozen. That's how it comes in the supermarket.

I've never bought it either, but my guess is that it's sold frozen to maintain the "whipped" texture.

>>6116961
>sold frozen to maintain the "whipped" texture

This makes opposite of sense.

Hold on to your butts. Apple burritos, because store bought tortillas weren't disgusting enough with savory foods

>>6116968
That...that actually sounds okay. Although I'd add cinnamon.

>>6116966

How so? The whipping process works fine bubbles of air into the "cream". That's what gives it its texture--like ice cream or normal whipped cream. And like those things, if you let it sit for a while eventually it melts. When that happens the bubbles are all gone and you just have a soupy mess. The act of freezing it keeps it hard, thereby maintaining the tiny bubbles in suspension.

Of course it must be thawed before actually eating it, but if you stored it at anything other than "freezing" then it would collapse and "un-whip" itself.

>>6116974
>Of course it must be thawed before actually eating it

Because of that. Freezing anything like that would fuck the air straight out of it, because the freezing process will have collapsed any air bubbles.

>>6116968
They forgot the low moisture shredded mozarella cheese

>>6116974
cool whip isn't even real whipped cream, moron. And you can't really successfully freeze and un-thaw actual whipped cream because the fat separates out into oil since the frozen liquid crystals kill the fat molecules.

>>6116980

It's no different than ice cream. Ice cream contains a great deal of air whipped into it.

When you get it straight out of the freezer it might be too hard to eat depending on your preferance, but you can still scoop/spoon it despite it being "frozen". That's because of the tiny air bubbles contained within. The industry term for that is "over run".

Let it warm up a little and it gets softer, but it's still "ice cream".

Let it warm up too much an all the air comes out. Then you get a watery mess. If you put it back in the freezer at that point then you get a rock-hard texture and much less volume than you started with.

>>6116995
I'm no food scientist, I'll take your word for it.

>>6116991
>cool whip isn't even real whipped cream

Yes, I know. But I was explaining why it is sold in the freezer case.

>>6116961
I've seen it sold both frozen and refrigerated in local supermarkets.

>>6116998

I don't expect you to take my word for it. Haven't you ever experienced what I'm describing? Put some half-melted ice cream back in the freezer to save it for later and noticed that the stuff which melted and re-froze is now a much harder texture and lower volume that what you started with? Or noticed what happens if you make whipped cream or meringue and let it sit?

>>6117011
I've always seen it refrigerated, never frozen and advertised to go with bananas and nilla wafers.

>>6117012
>Put some half-melted ice cream back in the freezer to save it for later and noticed that the stuff which melted and re-froze is now a much harder texture and lower volume that what you started with? Or noticed what happens if you make whipped cream or meringue and let it sit?

No because those are not things I can ever recall actually doing, because doing those things would be stupid.

>>6117019

Indeed they are stupid, anon. But that's kinda irrelevant.

Surely at some point in your life you were around others and noticed this sort of thing? That time dinner got interrupted and by the time everyone got back to it you noticed the whipped cream was now "flat"? Or maybe you saw the half-melted ice cream that some careless person spilled in the parking lot but didn't clean up--notice how the puddle of melt is disproportionately small compared to the un-melted section?

Either you're not very observant or you're a shut-in, as I can't imagine not noticing either at some point in your life.

I couldn't believe it was real.

http://www.amazon.com/Taste-Home-5-Ingredient-Cookbook/dp/0898215536/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420504933&sr=1-1&keywords=taste+of+home+5+ingredients

I was wrong.

>>6117065
>11 reviews
>11 of them are 5 stars

>>6116709
this one is not the most offensive thing here

>>6114681
All im saying is that if you tell someone you made soup with one ingredient (the can of soup) you're gonna sound awfully retarded.

>>6116991

what is it with 4chan and not understanding quote marks

>>6116750


ever heard of a fucking BLT

>>6117482
>like ice cream or normal whipped cream. And like those things, if you let it sit for a while eventually it melts. When that happens the bubbles are all gone and you just have a soupy mess. The act of freezing it keeps it hard, thereby maintaining the tiny bubbles in suspension.

Everything you said after that was in reference to how it works the same way as normal icecream and whipped cream. Which. No.

>>6116834
The Mid-West.

>>6108361
>Hot Diggity Dogs

>>6117504

i didn't write that post, but i'm still affronted by your inability to understand that it showed an awareness that cool whip is not actually whipped cream.

>>6110199
>One Serving being 268 Calories
>Desired doneness

Im fucking done with this shit

>>6117577

what's wrong with those things

>>6108354
This sounds delicious

>>6112733
>canned tuna
>miracle whip

fucking gross

>>6110659

Underrated post

I thought this thread would be an exaggeration but damn, I was wrong. Nice work, OP.

Petition for archive holy shit

>>6112728
Based Ainsley.

>>6117809
you know threads get auto-archived these days, right?

Oh shit, does /ck/ not have one of those?

>>6117908
It does, don't worry.

I'd guess a methhead wrote this but methheads don't eat food so ????

>>6116434
>This exists. Someone wrote this and an editor put it together and people bought this recipe book and there are probably thousands of people making these abominations
Heard it already, and in this very thread, you fucking-

>and going, "wa la!" #wifematerial #chefoftheyear #foodporn

>>6117536
I'm affronted by your inability to understand that I knew that, but was addressing the part after where he claimed icecream and normal whipped cream work the same way.

A man a can a microwave, another simple book, yet I found some recipes appealing like sweet and sour meatballs. Consists of frozen meatballs canned dice pineapple and manwhich with a little terraki sauce.

>>6118101
I was served this in juvie. Wasn't bad but I'm a sucker for pineapple. Best meal was taco night.

>>6118450
Why'd they send you to juvie and how violent was it in there? Basically prison jr.?

>>6108381
Salsa fish is literally

>fish veracruz

You dumbass

But yeah hot dog pizzas are funny. I think this is for moms to made for kids dude.

>>6118474
hot dogs in other dishes is a things that kids eat
they do it because kids are super fussy and will likely eat things if they recognize certain parts
that and hot dogs are super easy/cheap

>>6116622
http://boards.4chan.org/ck/thread/6114416go check out that and see if any look familiar

>>6108349
>in less than 30 minutes

It shouldn't even take five, and that includes warming them up in the microwave.

>>6117491

in a pie?

no never

>>6118465
Don't feel like talking bout my charges but I was sent to a secluded camp in the woods with a bunch of other criminals ages 13-18. I was one of the older ones but I was white so I got messed with. It wasn't really that violent but most of the kids were black Muslims from Philly so whenever we were unsupervised they'd start shit. I was pushed down and put in a choke hold but not anything serious like a shanking because we were supervised 99% of the people there.

>>6116656

I know so many people who marinate all their meat in storebought "italian vinaigrette" salad dressing. I can't tolerate that taste any more. Why did that ever become common? Out of all the marinade or seasoning options or, my favorite, a salt+pepper+sear. I want my meat to taste like meat, not salad.

>>6116968

>10 caramels

Does she mean pieces of those wrapped caramel candies? What an asinine non-measurement. "10 waters. 10 sugars. 10 flours."

It's literally apples and melted caramel in a tortilla. My teeth hurt just thinking about this.

>>6116991

I like cool whip. It doesn't taste like whipped cream, but that doesn't mean it can't be delicious. Apparently the ingredients are all vegetable oil and hfcs. If I'm not trying to impress anyone and just being lazy, I use cool whip. Which is about once every three years. It's one of those things that isn't made from anything recognizeable as food.

I don't trust the canned spray stuff, though. Food shouldn't come in a spray can.

>>6116901

That looks kind of good, actually.

>>6118663
>Does she mean pieces of those wrapped caramel candies?

Of course. What else would she mean?

>>6118069
>icecream and normal whipped cream work the same way.

That's because they DO work the same way. The fact that the imitation toppings don't contain cream is an irrelevant detail. True? Sure. But it has nothing to do with the fact that all these products get their texture from tiny bubbles whipped into suspension.

It doesn't matter if it contains cream or not. The cream isn't the point. The cream does't matter. It's irrelevant. What does matter is how the product gets its texture from tiny bubbles whipped in. And in that regard the imitation toppings behave just like ice cream and real whipped cream does.

>>6117111
The rest of the Englidh speaking world is fine with this.
When someone says they made soup it means they prepared soup and put it in s bowl. The amount of work they did in preparing it is not relevant

>>6118647
>Why did that ever become common?

Probably because it's quick and easy. A marinade usually contains an oil of some kind and an acid (lemon juice or vinegar or wine or something), and of course some seasonings. "Italian dressing" just so happens to contain all of that, so it's cheap and easy: just grab a bottle and dump it in.

>> I want my meat to taste like meat, not salad.

Agreed. In my opinion, a marinade is to serve a specific purpose. For example, if I have a piece of old tough meat that needs tenderizing. Or something that is so lacking in flavor that it honestly needs help--in that case the proper sort of marinade can help. But I don't understand some people's need to marinade everything without a reason for it. If you have good meat let its taste shine on its own.

>>6108390

how to make cookies

first ingredient....pre made cookie dough

>>6118677

Surely not actual sugar that one caramelizes in a pan.

>>6118688

"Made soup" means you stood there and put ingredients in a pot and cooked a bunch of miscellanous rubbish into an edible soup. What you're talking about is "reheated some canned soup." Wow, so chef. Much skill.

Soup is one of the easiest things to make. It's nearly impossible to fuck it up. Peasants have made it for thousands of years because it's easy and simple. And now it's apparently so difficult that one not only outsources it for convenience, but outsourcing is the NORM. Now "made soup" means "bought a can and reheated it." Apparently a five year old can now "make soup" just like a great chef. "Homemade" now means "I reheated it in my home, that means it's homemade."

I need one of these books, omg. If for no other reason, to amaze/disgust people who visit my home, and the to give it away as a white elephant gift later in life.

>>6118716
>Surely not actual sugar that one caramelizes in a pan.

Obviously not given that she called for a count rather than a measure of volume or weight. Besides who the fuck expects making caramel from scratch in the context of a "Trailer Park Cookbook" thread?

Agreed 100% on the soup though! Dumping a can into a bowl and microwaving it does not constitute "making soup".

>>6116709

I had to run the numbers on this one.

A 1/6 serving of this abomination provides approximately:

922 calories
70g fat
22g saturated fat
1215mg sodium
24g protein
1g fiber

>>6110199
>Also pictured on front cover
Not this book's cover, apparently....

>>6116758
>Editors note explain that corned beef is different
I suppose their target demo might not know...?

>>6118069

they're both oil in water emulsions, but whipped cream contains a lot more air and is less stable.

either way, you're being shifty - that isn't what you were saying in the first place, you were talking about cool whip not being the same as regular whipped cream. and certainly that's true, but that doesn't mean the same restrictions don't apply. both are whippable due to their fat content and require stabilisers for long storage periods.

>>6118624

>shifting the goalposts

>>6116750
>He's never had a bacon sandwich with ketchup

Volume 2 preview:

Easy Onion Noodle Soup

Ingredients:
1 can french onion soup
1 package dried ramen noodles (not the kind that comes in a cup or bowl)
Shreded cheese (any variety)

Directions:
Empty can into a pot on the stove. If using condensed soup add water per labeling directions. Begin to heat as directed to on package.

While soup is beginning to heat up open the ramen package and remove the seasoning packet. You will not need the packet for this recipe. Empty noodles from package into soup.

Continue heating as directed on soup can being sure to stir occassionally.

After heating distribute soup into bowls and sprinkle chees on top.

Editor's note: Save seasoning packet from ramen for use as a salt or seasoning substitute in a future recipe.

>>6108375
Would eat. Would leave out the mustard though.

>>6116656
> I guess you can't take a lot of OTC drugs and also alcohol

Was it five ingredients or less? If not, there's your problem.

>>6116804
>The loss of steam can mean an additional 15 to 30 minutes of cooking time

Get the fuck outta here

>>6118723
Just the mayo, jesus.

>>6119484

In a slow cooker (aka crock pot) that can certainly be true.

>>6119002
Easy Chateaubriand

>One precooked, frozen tenderloin (thick)
>One package of white mushroom caps filled with béarnaise sauce, placed atop tartlets filled with kidney bean purée
>Potatoes
>Margarine

>>6108361
How the fuck you get that into your mouth?

It's too big to shove in one bite, so you have to eat in two. So then you use your teeth to split the hotdog in half, but then you don't know if the cheese is too hot, so you end up standing there with your teeth wedged into a hotdog slice waiting for the cheese to cool down. So you try to instead just bite off a corner, right? but then you got a fucking hotdog touching your nose.

Whoever made this is a goddamned moron that didn't realize you can't make food shaped like a fucking ziggurat.

>>6119506
Really? What about if I'm just cooking rice on a stove with a pot?

My mom told me that, but I never bought it.

>>6119534
>It's too big to shove in one bite,

No, it's not. It's easily a one-bite item.

But even if you don't want to eat it in one bite, why not just bite it in half? It should be obvious to you how hot the cheese is when you pick it up before putting it in your mouth.

>>6119537
>Really?

Yes really. A slow cooker has a very weak heating element in it. It is much much weaker than a normal range/hob.

This isn't a concern on a normal stove because it has a much stronger heating element, therefore the amount of heat you let out when you lift the lid isn't anywhere near as much.

That said, I've worked with some Korean and Chinese cooks who flip their shit if you open a rice pot too early. They say it affects the texture, but honestly I haven't noticed.

This is the plebest cookbook I own.

>>6120252
Most of the recipes are just adding cans of shit to the Dutch oven and put it on the stove.

>>6109609
I had a whole thing typed out but, just... Fuck you.

>>6120257
>BBQ chicken

>chicken
>bottle of barbeque sauce

>>6117080

>2nd review
>written by debra poole

>>6116758
ok... i've been to prison for 2 years before, and even there i never lowered myself to this. i did use strawberry jam to cook sausage in once as a marinade for burritos. it was interesting, but nothing i'd do all the time for fun....

>>6120333
Its all quality

>>6116957
i've heard to extend the shelf life, at least that's what my mom believes, i've never fact checked because i never really use it.

>>6120384
>plebs have never had dump cake

just... just imagine the most painful sweet thing to eat, than add a crispy top and half pound of butter.... it's amazing. truly amazing. just, for fuck sake don't try to eat it yourself.

>>6120384
>dump cake
>dump cake
>dump cake
>dump

I'm flabbergasted

>>6120361

>>6117080
bumping with reviews of this wonderful book

"
A friend of mine recommended this book to me and although at first I was reluctant to pay the price for this used book, I am not sorry I bought it. Not ONE recipe has turned out badly, in fact they are very delicious. I love having the photos and the recipes with just five ingredients are easy to follow. I was always at a loss for appetizers and this book has some great recipes, easy to make ahead and delicious. There are also some very kid-friendly recipes included. I liked it so much that I sent my daughters a copy. They have six boys between them and both testified that they have loved some of the snack recipes. A great book, well worth the money!"

>>6117080
"Taste of Home 5-Ingredient Cookbook is one of the BEST Taste of Home selections, as
the recipes are very good, and have outstanding variety and the book is designed well -
meaning that the ingredients sections are larger type and the how-tos and easy to follow.

Throw out most of your old cookbooks and get some of the recent Taste of Home selections."

>>6110562
I... I had to ms paint this.

>>6109805
/bread

>>6121663
See, this is why I like you, /ck/. I can leave a thread for days and not only will it still be alive when I come back, there'll be fresh OC in it.

>>6108384
"chili without beans"
That settles it once and for all then.
Can't argue with books.

>>6121746
>Can't argue with books.

Really?

>>6121746
The chili in my pleb book begs to differ

>>6121764

>>6116869
This is where trailer parks go to die

>>6121763
>arguing with subjective text based on spirituality
this is why anti-religionists and militant atheists are retarded.

fuck off

>>6121811
>fuck off

Why? I didn't say the bible is right or wrong. I simply pointed it out as an example of a book that people argue about.

>>6121763
>>6121812
I thought it was pretty fucking obvious I was joking both about the beans and about all books being 100% true all the time.
I guess there's always one idiot in threads like this.

>>6121768
Let's get the two editors in the ring and have them settle it like men.

>>6121812
>>6121825
>not realizing cooking is as subjective and up for interpretation as religion
stop trying to force yourself on others
beans in chili is great. so is hominy

>>6121831
>making matter edible is the same as an ancient philosophical manifesto

>>6118766

>talking about pies actually

Did you see my post, what do they have in common?

they all go in pies you retard, you ever had a swede + bacon sandwich?

>>6118771

see

>>6120384

>>6121831
ffs...
Beans vs. no beans is a stupidly overdiscussed memetopic on /ck/.
By pointing out that this book was so adamantly against beans I was poking some good natured fun at the people who actually care about that stupid debate; I wasn't actually suggesting that beans in chili is evil and this book proves it.

I know the word gets tossed around a lot, but your total inability to recognise a joke, and you don't even have to find it funny, does suggest you might have some autism.

Before you address it; I don't REALLY expect the two editors to have a fistfight over the subject of beans in chili either.

>>6121835

It is, because "edible" is philosophical.

>>6121846

they're all some random pairings with bacon you happen to have seen and posted, some of which are common in pies, you stupid faggot. the fact that one or two on the list could be said to be pie-specific doesn't mean the list, and your point, are pie-specific.

and in any case what a fucking bizarre thing to get worked up about.

>>6110337
maybe the person who send in the recipe is from eastern europe? in the balkan region it seems completely normal ... i have a cookbook someone gave me as a present with bulgarian dishes here, where they usually start with something like "take 1.5 kg potatos (3,3 lbs)" or 15 paprikas. or stuff like that

(example: Filnik
1.5kg potatoes,
2-3 big onions,
1 package of butter (it's 2 sticks, they are sold in 250gram here)
salt and paprika
wash and cook potatos, in a casserole steam half of the onions in butter and paprika, slice and add the potatos, more salt and pepper, press onions with more salt, add cookwater from potatos and put in in the oven. serve with joghurt and garlic)

It's in german, otherwise i'd had more recipes like that to take pictures of

>>6120384
I'd eat the fuck out if that dump cake recipe, that sounds like pure sex.