/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>Be me
>Drink alcohol
>Vomit at the shitty taste
>Never drink again

Pregamed a party to hard with about eight beers. Thoroughly wasted upon arrival I then proceed to drink close to a liter of bitches brew ( strawberry cool aid and vodka). I wake up with caustic pink vomit all over myself, my friends dorm, and naked.

I got tetanus.
It sucked.

>drink alcohol
>wake up in a pool of my own vomit

>>6682670

got real drunk and fucked your mum

< your age + 9 months > years ago

>>6682670
>Don't have mommy issues
>Don't have daddy issues
>Successful career
>Amazing love life
>Youngest child is 9 most child diseases wont happen

Tell me why I a productive member of society would need to or ever need to abuse alcohol.

Only a weaker man would succomb to alcohol addiction.

>>6682670
>eat piece of limoncello chocolate
>just tastes like pure alcohol

>>6682710
drinking alcohol in no way means you are addicted. You are clueless and boring.

>>6682710
right on

straight edge 4 life

>>6682718
>Willingly drinking poison

>>6682722
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication

>>6682670
I was working front desk in a ski resort.
I joined my roommate birthday party about 2 hours after it started (went straight from work, no food since the morning).
Everybody was already in the mood and due to leave to a club about 1h later.

Proceed to drink 1 large whiskey and coke, 3 beers, the bottom of a martini rosso bottle (about 2 glasses worth), one glass of rosé wine and 3 coffee cups filled with 1988 apple moonshine made by a colleague's grandpa (story took place in 2001).

All alcohol kicked in on our way to the club (in a ski resort, walking in a snow storm).

Went to piss on the side of the walkway, allegedly waved my dick at (female) colleagues.
Arrived at the club (it was under street level), went down the stairs, started to say "hi" to the locker lady, ended up puking on myself.
*Blackout*
Feeling being dragged upstairs by the bouncer.
*Blackout*
Waking up seated against the wall, hear people saying they should call an ambulance
>nope I'm fine.jpg
*Blackout*
I'm struggling my way up back to the apartment.
*Blackout*
Go past colleagues working night shift, they heard a loud BANG in the stairs after I passed, by the time they ran to the stairs I was already in my apartment.
*Blackout*
Wake up seated in the bath tub with the shower head in my hand, water pouring on my face.
Stand up, puke again, sit down.
*Blackout*
Wake up, struggle to get soaked clothes off, put them to soak with laundry soap in a basin.
Brush teeth.
Go to bed, sleep 7 hours.

Wake up fresher than ever, hearty breakfast and go skiing for the whole day.

Only time I got tricked by alcohol.

Giving myself pancreatitis after a really bad drinking streak. I was obviously too sick to keep drinking so I had the DT's at the same time. I've never been in more pain or more terrified. I begged the doctor to kill me and I was eventually sedated. I was choking on stomach acid in my sleep and shitting myself from muscle tremors. All in all it was a fun week. I'm also diabetic now, who knew you needed a healthy pancreas to produce insulin.

Get addicted to literally any other drug

>>6682710
>yfw your child turns into a raging alcoholic who sucks dick for peach schnapps

>>6682736
>Wake up fresher than ever

This happens to me when I binge drink too. I have gotten more hangovers from a couple of shitty light beers than I have from spending an entire night drinking white russians, bloody marys, and shot after shot of whiskey. Pass out at 4, wake up at 8 am and cook up a delicious breakfast.

Although I will say that sometimes I get flash drunk midday. Like the fuzziness emerges again and all I can taste in my mouth is the liquor from the night before. Mornings are always swell, though.

>just moved into new apt with gf
>we make a spaghetti dinner around 6
>drank a beer
>fuck this i want vodka and coke
>have about 2 drinks before food is ready
>eat it so fucking fast
>continue drinking well until 1:30 am
>lost count of drinks
>playing league of babbies drunk as hell
>oh shit i feel sick
>go to throw up
>can't make it extra two fucking feet to toilet
>fuck
>vomit all over the fucking bathroom sink
>chunks and partially digested shit causes sink to get stuck
>fuck me how am I going to clean this shit out
>oh fuck here comes more, this time into the toilet
>go get a cup from the kitchen
>slowly start scooping my vomit chunks into the toilet
>gagging and vomitting every once and while
> eventually get sink cleared and flush toilet
>clean off sink and toilet with all purpose cleaner
>take a long ass shower

>>6682738
what and how much were you drinking?

>>6682751
I think that's before I puked most of it before it got too serious.
I had a few acid burps but nothing too serious. probably helped I was only 18 too.

I could get 100% rid of the puke smell in the small creases and corners of my winter jacket only when I got access to a proper washing machine though.
There's only so much hand detergent can do on a weatherproof ski jacket covered in alcoholic puke.

>Got drunk at a bar during a baseball playoff game
>friend buying shots for every home run
>tons of dingers that game
>belligerent and told to leave
>get kicked out of next bar after another drink
>lose sandle in parking garage
>kick off other because there's no point in one sandle
>finally make it home
>see some truck parked where my DD wanted to park
>proceed to knee the shit out of car causing damage
>wake up next day
>realize I vandalized my neighbors car in a drunken blur

Seriously the most ashamed I've ever been of myself. My friends still call it anons shame. I don't get that drunk in public anymore. I don't really get that drunk anymore.

>>6682701
Goddammit, I came here to post that. Oh well, at least I'm not alone.

right now hungry af with this girl who low key sux in bee

>>6682670
I don't remember much.
I just remember I started drinking, the rest is what I heard from family later on.
>Be a couple weeks ago, night before July 4th
>visiting parents
>Mom is a flight attendant and my dad went to go pick her up (airport is an hour away and he went to go run other errands)
>Decide to drink early
>I remember starting with a lemon vodka and a bottle of wine
>Apparently drank some other shit too but I don't remember
>My parents got home
>I was passed out in their office on the floor
>Puke all over one wall and the floor
>they wake me up
>I am saying shit that doesn't make sense
>They ask me what I drank
>I say repeatedly, "LY, FUCKING LY"
>every time they ask me
>"I TOLD YOU, LY"
>I'm cursing at them and getting a bit loud
>they lead me to bed
>I fall asleep

I woke up the next morning with no memory, except of when I started drinking. I have no idea what LY meant. No alcohol they have could fit that "description." Also, I do remember drinking a lot of water when I began to drink, so I didn't have too bad of a hangover.
My worst hangover was probably my senior year of HS, I was in the bathroom about 2 dozen times puking my brains out, missed most of my classes all day. Principal knew something was up and got on my ass about it.

>>6682752
and the other time

>get invited to fancy dinner with gf
>pregame 2 coke and vodkas
>waiting at bar for table
>have 1.5 drinks of some fruity shit
>few more drinks and appetizers
>don't really remember what most of it tasted like
>ordered a steak medium rare
>go to take a piss in restroom, not sure if i pushed someone out of the way to use urinal
>steak comes, took like 3 bites while still drinking
>all the while gf is drinking just as much as me (how the fuck)
>we go to a mexican dance club after
>2 more drinks, shots
>gf went outside to get air, they wouldn't let her back in
>leave, and go to a lounge
>order like a $15 drink that tasted like ass
>most i ever drank by far
>get to friend apt
>dude forces me to drink 2 coffees, and a redbull
>gf is crying sitting in my car for retarded reason
>go out to comfort her
>we both pass out
>she wakes me up at 4am, she's sobered up
>she drives as i'm fucking off my shit
>within two turns I fucking vomit all over the outside of door, and armrest area
>drive by vomit at another car
>get home and put clothes in bag
>shower and get ready to sleep
>gf gets up at 9am and goes to work
>meet her for lunch and we compare what we remember

I never go out and also drink with those people who invited us now. Also it was such a fucking waste of money. I only enjoyed the restaurant, and would have enjoyed it a lot more if I wasn't completely wasted.

Got blackout drunk, remember yelling at a car, blacked out again, woke up in jail, blacked out, was being restrained by my neighbors, blacked out, woke up in an ambulance. Spent the whole night in the hospital threatening to kill myself and everyone else in the hospital. Punctuated by singing any song that came to my mind, which were mostly drinking songs.

I have never been that drunk again in my life. I am an alcoholic, but I refuse to let myself get blackout drunk when I'm not at home.

I still don't know what exactly happened that night, but my friends and neighbors told me I was out alone yelling at cars, they took me home from the drunk tank, and I got violent. I still have holes in my walls and some of my friends stopped talking to me.

>>6682670
I threw up spaghetti. I found it amusing even then. My friends cleaned it up for me...it's the only time in memory that I haven't cleaned up an alcohol blunder. I had gone upstairs and passed out in the shower (after throwing up more spaghetti and sitting down to get a better angle to force the bits to drain)

in all actuality

>SPAGHETTI EVERYWHERE

>>6682760
I'm with you on the puking part. Even if you wear completely new clothes, shower, and brush your teeth, the smell still lingers the next day. I could tell that my coworkers smelled it too because they'd keep their distance from me. I think it was the fact that when I vomit, some of it goes through my nose, and it's pretty difficult to clean all the way up in there.

hoo boy do I have a story for your guys.
>Be me
>Come home from 12hr shift
>husband not home yet, put groceries away
>Purchased a large container of cream because needed to make pie for some bbq or some shit can't really remember
>It's stupid big
>I've got vodka and kaluah sitting behind the stove.Decide to make white russians
>Haven't had a drink in months so it feels fucking amazing
>Holy shit these are good why did I stop drinking
>End up making 6-7 of them, end up using half of the cream carton
>completely trashed
>end up spilling some on my shirt
>damn I've only got two other maternity shirts and this one was my favorite it has ducks on it.
>wait
>maternity shirt
>Fuck
>FUCK
>I remember I'm 6 months pregnant
>This is why I haven't had a drink in months
>It was a 750 mm bottle of vodka and I drank 3/4's of it
>Go into hysterics
>Husband comes home, finds me weeping on the couch
>Two days later he finaly convinces me to at least see my obstrician
>We go and he does an ultrasound and fetal bloodtest
>Confirmed for FAS(fetal alchohol syndrome
>Completely lose my shit. Husband is crying silently
>Oh wait there's more
>Comfirmed for anencephaly
>Baby has no brain and looks like a fucking argonian.
>Life expectancy is only like 2 wks. Also no brain
>Discuss abortion options with doctor
>Settle on a date to have completely destoryed baby removed
>Husband stops me before we get into car
>Pleads with me not to get abortion. Says the baby might not be right but that God loves it anyways and we should still try.
>Tell him if God loved our baby it wouldn't look like a frog.
>Go through abortion alone
>Husband disappears
>Forced to sell house, now living in shit apartment in bad part of town
>Haven't seen husband in over a year. Friends tell me he joined a monestary.
>Can't sleep
>Stay up every night thinking about the life I ruined
>Wonder about the family I lost.
> Those were still the best white russians I ever had.

>there is zero alcohol currently in the house
>the liquor store will open in 7 (seven!) hours
>all I found was small half bottle of angostura bitters
do I do it? do I drink the bitters, /ck/?

>>6682804
dumb bitch

>>6682811
Speaking from personal experience, NO. You're actually probably better off drinking mouthwash, NOT THAT I RECOMMEND THAT.

>>6682804
This is kind of funny if you imagine the pepe in your picture telling the story. I do hope this was your intention.

>>6682804
>people will believe this
>A girl, on the Internet

>>6682748
poor cunt

>>6682821
>>6682814
>>>/pol/

>>6682751
Because you were still drunk that morning.

>>6682816
then what the fuck am I supposed to do

>>6682804
Good god

>>6682804
assuming this is true, get the fuck over yourself
abortions, miscarriages and birth defects happen literally all the time to everybody

>be me
>19
>out of town with buddies
>find shitty bar, the main beer on tap is cariboo
>get through 2 pitchers of that pissbrew on an empty stomach
>stumbling back to hotel, drop by a 7-11, grab a powerade and some taquitos
>eat half a taquito, immediately start vomiting
>dont stop vomiting on and off till 7 in the morning
i honestly thought i was going to die

>be scrawny 18 year old me
>visiting my cousin at his college so I'm going all out
>drink about 5 beers in like 20 minutes in quick succession because I'm just such a hardo
>do 5 full shots of some freshly not chilled Jager in a short period of time
>have a couple more beers before we actually go to the party
>chug about 3 beers in a row at the party about an hour later
>next thing I remember I'm laying back in a carseat looking at the sunroof being driven back to my cousin's house because I'm such a drunken mess
>puke all over my cousin's lawn
>puke in a plastic bag for the entire car ride back to school (about an hour and half)

Good times

>>6682804
>>damn I've only got two other maternity shirts and this one was my favorite it has ducks on it.

keked hard

Had about dozen shots of Southern Comfort in half an hour, a few beers

Passed out on my floor, no blanket or anything, woke up freezing, the worst body aches, headaches ever, with a fever like feeling

Didn't even vomit, just pure aching sickness, the sight of Southern Comfort still sends chills down my spine

> Mostly 420'd in high school
> Only drank heavily a few times
> Flash forward to first year of college
> One day I'm sitting around in my dorm's living room
> It's around midnight on a weekday
> Girlfriend is asleep in the bedroom
> Bored as fuck
> Put really shitty cam copy of The Man with the Iron Fists on
> Movie is pretty bad
> Remember I had a full bottle of Tennessee Honey in the fridge (that shit was still pretty new and exciting)
> Decide to spice things up by drinking every time someone got killed
> Terrible fucking idea
> After a quick 6 shots, game becomes "drink and yell Batista every time you see Dave Batista on the screen"
> Dave and I spend the rest of the night together working through the bottle
> "BATISTA!!!!"
> swig
> "BATISTAAAA!"
> swig
> Movie ends and I've lost all sense of my body and mind
> Rolling around on the floor
> "b...b....batista"
> Crawl to bathroom
> "carry mee, dave"
> Vomit all over the bathroom floor
> Smell of alcohol in vomit makes me vomit more
> Girlfriend knocks on door, yells something about me being okay
> Summon all remaining sobriety to spit out "I have diarrhea"
> "IDhadhreeaaaa"
> Hear her walk away
> Close one, Dave
> Wake up on the floor a few hours later
> Clean as much as I can
> Shower and crawl into bed
> Girlfriend asks me how much I drank the next morning
> Engage panicked embarrassment
> About to tell her when my eyes catch a lightly-tanned object in the window behind her
> It's Batista
> Finger over his lips
> Winks at me
> Look at girlfriend and laugh
> Thanks Dave

>>6682670
>one of the first times getting absolutely hammered (17 years old)
>smoke a bunch of weed also
>pass out on couch
>sleep walk to what I think is the bathroom
>start pissing on my friends sister while she's sleeping
>friends mom wakes up and screams WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
>sleep walk back to couch
>get woken up by friend as he asks me "do you know what you just did?"
>be confused
>he explains
>we're not friends anymore

>>6682670
test test

>>6682670
Got super drunk in high school at a party, broke a hammock, table, and deck rail, two ribs, and vomited in a kitchen sink. Went to water breakfast the next morning with puke on my shoes and smelling like booze.

I cannot stand the taste of tequila to this day, 10 years later.

awesome

>>6682901
Water = Easter

Fucking autocorrect

i woke up in an ambulance once, and another at the hospital. i'm very ashamed for it, and i lost most of my friends because of it, but i don't regret it. they were boring as fuck and i was the only one willing to do shit. in all, i've had about 5 horrible experiences with alcohol

>>6682894
i remember watching that movie with my friends, reveeting to being 14 and going full WWE announcer whenever batista slammed somebody through a table or whatever
good times

Had a bottle of cheap wine with spicy hummus and chips
Contracted the stomach flu that night. Woke up throwing up everywhere getting a mixture of the wine mixed with hummus that was sitting in my stomach for hours. I blew my nose until it was constantly bleeding and I still couldn't clear everything out. My inflateable bed also got punctured during this event, so I was laying down on a cement floor trying to get back to sleep.

I've had much more to drink other times and have thrown up more, but that mixture of $3 bottle wine and curdled hummus in my upper nostrils all day was godawful.

Getting arrested for driving drunk.

>>6682931
You fucking deserved it.

>>6682773
I was about to ask from your first story if she was an enabler or also a drunk.

Does that happen a lot?

>>6682804
>6 months preggers
>forgets
I have trouble believing that. Good story otherwise, capped.

>>6682931
this :(

>Got drunk on a 5th of 1800 tequila.
>Shot up the neighbor's property because I didn't like his, "Beware of the Dog" sign.
>Cops were called
>Captured me
>Beat the crap out of me
>Stripped me down naked, gave me some smock thing
>Tossed me in the freezing ass drunk tank

Long story short, got a felony out of it. It's my fault. I deserve the punishment. Just hate losing my firearms.

>>6682920
>stomach flu

gastroenteritis=/=influenza

>>6682670
1998-2012

>>6682724
Str8 edge fans BTFO
B T F O
T
F
0

>>6682710
>succomb

>dad's wedding
>sister and mum won't go so i'm feeling a bit out of place
>get really hammered over the course of 12 hours
>hit on dad's coworkers
>sprain my half sister's wrist trying to dance with her
>try to jump into the river only to realise it's like 20 metres away
>cry for no fucking reason
>get manhandled into a hotel room before midnight


>have house party
>girl keeps pinching my nipples
>at first respond playfully
>start to get genuinely annoyed
>grab at her tits and snap her bra strap
>no one talks to me for the rest of the party apart from the guy who wants to argue about scottish independence

every time i get drunk i have something to regret tbh.

Too much Jack at a Halloween party two years ago. Ended up puking on the host's pumpkins for an hour and a half. I will never drink Jack Daniels again. Quality > quantity niggas.

im a pretty big guy 4 u so I dont get drunk that often, one time though I drank a 40oz bottle of rye in about an hour and a half, didn't realize the time so I went to get on the subway but the door was locked, from the 2nd entrance that was unmanned.

I thought I heard a train coming so I basically ripped the door open, ran down to the tracks but it was just an out of service train, so then I sit around the empty terminal chain smoking cigarettes until a late night employee finds me, and I'm like "yo bro whens the next train?" He doesn't even answer and the cops show up 5 minutes later and throw me in the drunk tank, but my left shoulder was pretty sore from work so I kept asking them to loosen my cuffs but they dont, which makes me mad, then get thrown into the tiny back of a cruiser, hauled out by my bad shoulder with 5 guys trying to push me into a drunk tank cell, I keep resisting which I find funny at the time, something along the line of "5 of you manlets cant get me into a cell, how did you pass the physical" ect ect. they eventually kick me in the back of the knee and punch me in the face a few times because why not, theyre pigs, and then drag me into the cell.

Woke up and went to work the next day after they let me out, luckily I work in a kitchen so when I showed up with bruises on my face and people asked "what happened to you?" I just said "drunk tank, police brutality, dont worry im good for work."

only tom foolery I can remember being drunk, but usually I drink alone at home.

I started drinking when I was 16 so I've thrown up plenty of times so I guess I'll just pick the worst one.
I went with some friends to a girls house that we knew from school because her parents were away (we didn't want to fuck her but I wanted to fuck her friend who, mercifully, wasn't there).
I had bought a sixpack of these extra strength beers (keep in mind I was still a big lightweight at this point) that were the worst thing I've ever tasted to this day. It was a Tooheys beer if any ausfags can remember it. Platinum?
Anyway the house was this really narrow three story apartment connected by 'plank' stairs and we were in her room on the top floor. The night was good but otherwise uneventful until I realized I had been downing these extra strong beers as though they were regular ones. As I was still a young padawan I realized WAY too late that shit was going south and I only managed to make it to the beginning of the stairs before I projectile vomited fucking everywhere. Not a lot of people can say that they vomited on three floors simultaneously. But I can. She never asked us over again.
That shit fucking pales in comparison to what I've seen other people do though. And this is proper adults. I'm glad I got it out of my system when I was young.

>be a week ago today
>wake up in a police drunk tank without my glasses (blind as fuck)
>police tell me they found me laying in a ditch on the side of the road covered in puke and piss
>can't remember what happened, but have huge scrapes on my legs suggesting I fell into the ditch
>cops drop me off at my parents house
>mom pissed, we get into a fight and I call her a cunt

The previous day I just got back into town after a few months and wanted to go to a party with friends. Ended up chugging a bottle of new Amsterdam like it was water. Then all of the sudden blackness. I can't remember a damn thing. Oh, and I'm 20 so I got an underage and public intoxication charges.

>>6682670
>Be 15
>Delinquent friend stole two big bottle of liquor, one of rum and the other tequila
>Stashed behind the neighborhood in some bushes
>We're all at my house
>Sister comes out of her room and goes downstairs
>Has a seizure
>I'm the calm one about it since I've seen it before
>Paramedics come and take her away
>Go in back and crack open the bottles
>Actually finish 1.5 liters of tequila
>All of us head to the neighborhood pool
>Parents come and ask what happened through the fence
>Tell em and apparently they didn't know I was shit faced

Kidneys felt like they were shredded for a week though and tequila just makes me puke; well I haven't had it since.

>>6682670
I was way too ambitious the other night.
Usually I don't get hangovers so I got sloppy about watching my booze.
>aldi lights x 3
>trader joe cheap as fuck can lager x 3
>aldi apple cider x 2
>some vodka shots
Next day felt about as shitty as when I'm going through benzo withdrawls after taking xanax.
so yeah, mixing cider, vodka, multiple beers is a bad idea

The last 10 years

>>6682752
>vodka and coke
Why

>>6682670
>>>/a/

>>6683367
>9 drinks
>hangover
what a fucking pussy

>>6683377
That's deep. Dub-dubs confirm.

>Brother and I were drunk in Detroit
>Grand Prix just ended
>Too awake to go home
>Let's fuck around with prostitutes
>Chatting them up
>One takes my brother's gold chain right off his neck
>Runs to a car and they tear off
>I give chase
>I'm running red lights on the opposite side of the street
>Trying to collide with them - I'm drunk
>Cut them off in a blocked off alley
>The whore's pimp jumps out of the car and walks over
>I pull my side arm and point it at him
>Asks why I'm chasing him
>Tell him the whore stole from us
>Says he didn't know and will retrieve our property
>I tell him to give me his wallet
>He boasts that he has had guns pointed at him before
>Tell him this might be the last time though
>Gives me his wallet
>Walks back to car
>Retrieves gold chain
>We trade wallet for chain

And the night ended peacefully. I've told that story so many times. That was the craziest night. Fucking Detroit.

>>6682834
Wait faggot

>>6683396
>gold chain
Seriously

>>6683396
why was your brother wearing a gold chain?
guido or nigger?

>>6683396
You're the hero Detroit deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt you. Because you can take it.

>>6683390
I think it was mixing the cider and the beer.
Usually I can go through a lot of stuff and turn out fine.

>>6683419
I think it was just drinking cider. Worst hangover I ever had was from cider.

>>6682670
>Be me
>Have seizure related movement disorder
>Can never touch alcohol
FeelsBadMan.jpg

>>6683404
I was too lazy to type out brother-in-law. He's a guido SOB and my sister gave the chain and the charm to him.

He wanted to hold the gun during the incident when I was demanding the nigger's wallet but I wouldn't let him. I don't trust him.

>>6683432
Shhh, alcohol isn't good to begin with, you're not missing out on anything besides a fucked up life.

>>6682681
beer before liquor is a rookie mistake we have all made.
>>6682762
you're the kind of guy who needs to switch to pot.
>>6682892
can relate. southern comfort gives awful headaches. i made the mistake of mixing it with coke and after a while felt like i was going into diabetic shock + drunk w/ headache
>>6682898
you are no longer banned, congratulations.
>>6682910
dont be a quitter. alcohol isnt the problem.
>>6683055
dont give up on alcohol, it's always been there for you.
>>6683137
its hard to even imagine the kinds of things big city subway employees must see on a nightly basis

it's hard to pinpoint just one but luckily alcohol doubles as the solution to the problems it causes

My apartment floor carpet is covered in red wine stains where I have "spilt" a glass (when infact I have projectile vomited on the floor). I never learn, 12 bottles of strong red a week at the moment.

>>6683724
this song is for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEvQOPUHGH8

i ended up fucking 2 of my friends girls(not at the same time but same night)

now I have no friends to drink with since apparently I'm the bad guy.

>>6683756
>tfw crust punks singing crust punk music near you

truly the worst type of person

>>6683772
and this is for you

>>6683209
>20
>underage

>public intoxication
>charge

What kind of a god forsaken country has this sort of laws

>>6683782
>tfw crust punks/crust punk apologists posting at you
worse than 9/11

So when I get drunk alone which happens more often than it should I start singing in the style of sinatra. This is how I spent a night in jail
>get off work
>fucking line cook at outback,but it pays the bills
> apartments empty since gf killed herself
> proceed to get shit faced off of vodka and cranberry. Three drinks later I'm singing.
>I look up Waka flocka flame lyrics and start belting them out in the style of sinatra
> at this point all of my clothes are off because I threw up a raw cucumber I tried to eat onto myself
> hear a knock on the door, 230 am
> cops are here
> FUCK
>vomit
> have what I thought was a moment of clarity
>grab loaf of pumpernickel
>start feasting on that shit
>cops pounding on the door
> open door with pumpernickel in hand and cucumber vomit all over myself
>"eeenin officers"
>vomit,try to not vomit,sneeze,vomit goes through nose. Vomit again. Get on hands and knees. Start vomiting while singing/crying
>cops wait for me to empty out
>drag my ass to the cop car
>wake up next day in jail. Had to have only friend come get me. Apparently I shit myself at some point in the cop car.
>Haven't talked to him since


All in all,pretty good night

>8 shots of whiskey
>couldn't walk straight
>told two hammered sluts that were grinding on each other to stop because it was trashy and disgusting
>laughed at picture of party host's dead grandfather asking who the fuck this guy is
>let party host's cat out of the house and lost it, it never came back

Looking back on it, I don't even know what to think or feel.

>>6683836
>laughed at picture of party host's dead grandfather asking who the fuck this guy is
now thats funny

>>6683826
Cops wouldn't take you to the bin for one call of a noise complaint, and they can't arrest you for drinking in your own place so I think you're lying.

>>6683843
I concur

>>6683826
not saying you're lying like that other anon, but on what charges did they arrest you?

>plan to go out with people who dont particularly like me but I was young and had no self respect
>kind of dreading it but I already paid for my ticket so I start drinking by myself to ensure a good mood
>keep drinking at a bar, already fall over outside twice while smoking
>somehow get to the club, dance all over everyone, make out with random person, get a nosebleed
>people tell me I should probably head home, I yell noooooo
>end up stumbling home by myself
>oh no Ive got to take a shit
>"hide" behind a hedge, crouch down, start shitting, shit all over my pants, some dudes notice me, laugh, point at me, possibly take pictures?? I dont remember
>wake up on my bedroom floor, pissed myself, shitstains everywhere, worst hangover of my entire life

moved to a new city soon after and never saw any of those people again

>>6682670
>What's /ck/'s worst experience with alcohol?

Drank a bottle of vodka when I was young and stupid. Worst. Hangover. EVER. Unreal. Dry heaves. Glad I didn't die of alcohol poisoning. Definitely NOT A GOOD IDEA.

>Drinking meme liquid

>>6683843
>>6683852
They might have taken him to the drunk tank, which isn't "technically" jail, on the grounds that his prodigious vomiting gave them cause to think he was a danger to himself.

In which case he may not have been arrested, or even charged, he was just taken to jail so that they could keep an eye on him, make sure he didn't die.

It's an uncommon situation.

>>6683209
I tried to drink a bottle of New amsterdam at new years and was horribly sick, but at least i managed to avoid pissing myself i guess

>>6682804
had to do a double take, 10/10 story

>>6682804
try to make it more believable next time, i checked out halfway through

Not mine but a person who lived here in my hosue for 2 months

>have an irish english housemate who drinks all the time
>sunday he can barely stand and drags the wooden structure of his bed to the balcony overlooking the rooftop of our lower neighbour
>proceeds to dump it there and starts yelling out to the street that he is going to extend his room
>lower neighbour tells him that he can't cause it is her roof and he calls her a cunt
>cops had to come by to remove him, he continued drinking after snorting coke out on the streets from some dealer following everyone for a lighter before passing out after cops came by a second time for the noise
>wednesday they come by again cause he is yelling obscenities from his room to people passing by
>friday leave to visit parents and notice him being drunk
>receive a text that other roommates have removed my laundry as he was flipping out against them

TBC

>>6682670
I was a sophomore in college.

First big party I went to. Dude had a refrigerator of alcohol, and said it was open to anyone.

I wanted to try EVERYTHING. So I did.

The last thing I recalled was talking to a guy at 11:30. I was apparently active until 4 AM.

At the party itself, I was apparently fine. Super Jaunty, not really dancing, but walking around to the music. Talking to people, with only moderate slurring. The weirdest thing is at one point I vanished for 45 minutes, and showed up with a drink that I claimed had whiskey in it. But there wasn't any whiskey at the party,

But apparently pretty much the instant they got me home, I exploded. Projectile vomit like, 6 feet on the walkway outside my apartment. Spend multiple hours vomiting all over the bathroom, yelling at people who weren't there.

The humorous part for me was the way the hangover hit me: I got up the next morning, feeling fine. I open the door to the bathroom, covered in vomit, and go "Wow, I drank that much and my roommate go sick?" Then I try to put my pants on, to find them covered in vomit. At that point, I knew I was the one who had been vomiting. And then the hangover hit.

Spent like, 2 hours just cleaning up the mess I had made of the bathroom and walkway.

Missed a final presentation worth a negligible amount, but since it was for a class whose teacher was at the party, he just waved it off, saying he knew I wasn't gonna make it when he saw me at the party.

>>6683890

>come back on sunday and notice all the walls are stripped of posters and everything
>go upstairs and find the formerly used room, now empty due to moving roommate, trashed with the fire extinguisher thrown on the floor
>the posters are all ripped on the floor and a table is broken
>ask what happened
>irish guy was flipping out cause he couldn't understand why the previous room owner moved
>he was yelling "WHY IS IT EMPTY?!" in the room
>then proceeded to grab the fire extinguisher to work it
>when asked he yelled "IM TRYIGN TO SAVE YOUR LIVES HERE!"
>he got angry when people told him to go to his room
>started trashing the place
>proceeded to sniff my panties yelling "WHY DOES IT SMELL SO GOOD! I LOVE YOU.. NO I MEAN YOUR LAUNDRY!"
>he passed out with no pants on the staircase covered with puke
>tell the house owner about this and Irish prick hears about it
>he's getting evicted, oh noh!
>still covered in puke he tries cleaning up, 2 days after his drinking binge

>>6683896

>tries to hang up the ripped poster pieces
>when asked he just said he got a little too excited about his new job
>1 month later our downstairs neighbour found him in another city drunk as fuck yelling obscenities at the train station

My first st. Patrick's day in college I mixed gin and rum. I regretted it the rest of the night and in the morning.

far from the worst but now this comes to mind

>out drinking with my good friend and his group of "friends" who ive never met
>they're assholes but whatever i like booze and so do they
>things wind down
>come home absolutely trashed
>girlfriend is waiting up for me, sees the state im in and immediately picks a fight
>dont remember much of it but i laughed in her face and told her to fuck off
>passed out and puked on the carpet in the front room
>wake up next morning and i guess she cleaned it up
>never speak of it again

i hate myself and i dont get why she puts up with me

>loaded drunk on new years eve
>nearly coldcocked a waitress while trying to give her a thumbs up
>puked all over the side of the Designated Drivers ride, only met him that night
>living alone at the time so my friends assume I'm okay when they drop me off
>turns out I took all my clothes off and then puked on my bed naked.
>wake up shivering cause it's fucking January
>nearly gave myself hypothermia and had to spend the entire day cleaning up my own random piles of vomit
>friends love me anyway cause I'm a hilarious drunk

How do you people get drunk on 8 beers?
I hate being the 'drinking brag' type but fuck.
If you can't remember what's happened and you're covered in vomit after 8 beers then you're either 15 or should not drink.

>>6682670
>prom
>didn't go
>go to after party
>broken up by cops
>go to some nignogs house to chill
>drink
>drink too much
>next thing I remember I'm waking up still drunk and I don't know how I even got to my friend's room.
>driven back home
>drunk for the whole day watching Netflix and drinking water til I fall sleep at 8pm

>party after infant baptism
>family of drinkers
>not experienced with drinking so I drink whatever's in front on me and try to not throw up
>happy evening with dancing
>wake up next day with first hangover ever
>why.webm
>go to a zoo with screaming kids and fly a plane home after
>never drink with family ever again

Went out to brunch with a couple of girls visiting new York for the first time. The place had unlimited bloody Mary's. After that we bought a huge wine bottle to drink in the park. Went to the village and times square after that. Don't remember much of it. Got a summons for public urination and apparently ended the night with a cop escorting me to the subway. Got home somehow. Couldn't eat anything the next day. I've been more drunk but I've never embarrassed myself more. I've come close on many occassions. An abusive political shouting match with one of my friends fathers being another instance.

I miss the old days when I'd get drunk and try to make it with chicks. Embarrassing but at least I was trying

>>6682804
>aby has no brain and looks like a fucking argonian.
I laffed :(

This is fake though, nobody forgets they are pregnant.

>>6683955
Could be high ABV beers or just exhaustion.
I've had nights where I didn't sleep or eat for 24 hours and wake up the next day not remembering much but only having like 3 beers.

>>6684075
Don't get me wrong. I've done it too.
Gone straight to the pub after work so I'm tired and not eaten for 6 hours, had 3 pints and started getting tipsy.
But it seems to be so many people's experiences start with 'I had 6 beers and this happened' or 'I drank a litre and a half of a cocktail'.

years of crippling alcoholism

>>6683955
8 drinks can fuck up someone with a small frame who doesn't drink regularly and is on an empty stomach. Even just one of those things can be enough.
And that's not even getting into natural tolerance and emotional states.

>>6683955
If I told you to chug 8 beers as fast as you could, you're probably vomit too.

That's a shit ton of liquid.

>be 10
>mother makes red wine bbq sauce
>love the fuck out of it
>see a tub of it on the kitchen counter
>take scoop spoon from nearby cupboard and shove a large spoonful of it into my mouth
>realize it isn't cooked
>too late
>doze off
>wake up 16 hours later extremely dehydrated
>any longer and I'd probably need a hospital
>tfw last day of summer was wasted
Thankfully the rest of the sauce cancelled out the potential vomiting.

>>6682670
psytrance hippie festival made a bet with a friend who was faster in drinking 100 beers (half liter) so 25 liters of beer. I won took 24 hours. Completely wasted could only stand because of the large cabinet of different psychadelics an uppers. Did eat a good pizza after 15 of those cans and didn't even puke.

>>6684138
now that I read it back it might not make sense. but it was 100 beers for 2 the first one to drink 50 beers won. so thats 25 out of 50 liters

>friends 18th or 19th birthday
>Im a bit late, think I have to "catch up" and down a couple drinks in minutes
>remember falling over, deleting the entire playlist this dude spent an hour making, people slapping me in the face to wake me up after I went comatose
>wake up at another friends house at 8am
>walk downstairs, feel horrible
>sit down in the living room, friends dad comes in whom Ive met like twice before
>still kind of drunk and exhausted and emotional, start crying to my friends dad about how I cant handle my alcohol
>he is very uncomfortable but gives me a nice dad speech about responsibility
>go see the birthday friend, start crying again, he laughs it off

I am still amazed how long it took me to be able to know my limits and also how I managed to make it about myself every single time, I suffered so gloriously

>>6684131
You were left alone for 16 hours?

>>6684148
premium parenting

>>6684131

i don't understand what happened.

>>6683955
I'm a lightweight--6'2"@135 pounds. More than 3 drinks an hour will have me causing a ruckus and being loud.

>>6684148
>>6684154
No. I ate the sauce in the evening (don't remember exactly when, but it was pretty dark out) before the last day, and woke up around one in the morning (my father was at work and my mother was visiting my grandmother for an hour). I consider that wasteful because the morning portion disappeared. Apparently, they had assumed I gotten ill because I never sleep that long.
>>6684156
I ate bbq that had red wine as one of the ingredients. Don't remember what it was called.

>On a school trip to Montreal (drinking age is 18)
>Sneak out at night with the rest of the guys for drinks and strip clubs
>Juniors end up getting caught and sequestered to their rooms
>We seniors feel bad so we get them a couple cases of smirnof ices and bacardi breezers for them to have a night in.
>We enjoy ourselves and dont get back in till 5
>Find our rooms covered in vomit the juniors in a similar state
>Toilets completely clogged with puke
The smell was the worst thing. It smelled like vomit of course but also the sickly sweetness of bad coolers. I cannot even smell a smirnoff ice w/o gagging.
>

>>6684168

you had a spoonful of wine? that's it?

>freshman year of college
>pound beers alone in my room one night
>proceed to wander around campus
>stumble into random house party
>go to the upstairs
>no one else up there
>start rummaging through shit
>find 2 liter of root beer
>pour into air humidifier
>wander back downstairs and out of the house

>>6684168
> Son unconscious for abnormal period.
>"I bet he's really sick."
>"Sure hope he don't die." *Moonwalks away*

>getting drunk with friends over a weekend
>second day in, afternoon drunk, early evening coming on
>cannot get up off the floor, cannot speak, but my mind's racing
>"this ain't good"
>go to mirror
>my skin has turned a pale yellow
>drink some water, rest, and go out partying later

i looked like i had total jaundice-level blood toxicity for two hours.

>>6683955
i don't know the exact technical aspects of how alcohol works on people, but i can tell you from experience that it really depends on a lot of factors, and sometimes even when you think you are in control, full stomach, etc. you could get a surprise. there's been times where i drink a shit-ton of different stuff, manage to stay steady through the night and remember everything the next day, and there's been others where i don't mix/drink nearly as much and end up getting shit-faced anyway. you could always find a "happy medium" and limit yourself to a certain amount of a specific type of drink every time you go out, but hey, where's the fun in that?

>>6684188
kek'd. sounds like you're all bros, tho

>>6684162
>6'2 135 pounds

>>6682670
me personally
>go to friends apt
>split a handle of vodka between the two of us
>thought i went to bed at midnight
>blacked out and was saying god knows what to my friends girlfriends friend
>sleep for 3 hours before getting up to help my dad move lumber in 98 degree weather
>drive home still hammered, not drunk, hammered
>throw up everywhere once before, and one huge session afterwards.

BUT THE WORST STORY EVER

>friend tests drinking limits in college and throws up everywhere
>faggoty jackass assumes hes going to die and calls 911
>he was cool about it, but they make him go to the hospital
>on the ride over, he blacks out
>wakes up the next morning handcuffed to the bed
>apparently he punched a social worker in the face and kicked a pregnant nurse in the stomach as hard as he could at the hospital

never found out if the baby was okay...

>6666666

>>6666666

>>6682804
This never happened

>>6666666

>>6682670
New years party. With a russian friends family.

I forgot how they called this stuff.
it was basically a big canister,with a few packets of instant-ice tea, filled up with vodka and some water.

The Ice-tea shit dominated everything and made your mouth dry.So you kept drinking.

after getting shitfaced very fast, we ate some half raw shashlik that we grilled outside in the snow over a tiny fire. (while having some beer because thats what you do when grilling outside right?) Then we drank some more of the vodka-shit.

At this point one of the non-russians aready shut down.

I have a pretty high resistance to alcohol, but a hour later, and a lot more of this shit, that just makes you drinking it, i went to the bathroom, and spend the new-years countdown vomiting my guts out.

later made out with some drunken russian chick.

10/10 will party there next year again.

Had heart attack after drinking vodka and chain smoking all weekend. Just lay in my bed and slept it off because too embarrassed at the state I was in too call emergency services.

>>6684423
Did you die?

ITT: stories of absolute degeneracy

You all deserve whatever jail sentence or legal trouble you found yourselves in, and for those who went unpunished, you deserve much more than what you got.

>kicking pregnant women
>pissing, shitting, vomiting in public
>acting violent, unpredictable and rowdy
>destroying personal property

These make for entertaining stories after the fact, but I shudder to think about the reality of most of these situations. Respectable humans do not behave like this.

>>6684472
>mfw the pregnant nurse couldnt press charges because its against policy to work in the ER while pregnant.
>mfw the social worker didnt press charges because MUH FEELINGS

>>6684443
Nope, got away with it and carried on living like that for another couple of years. Then had 2 heart surgeries and have to live with a heart that is 25% dead tissue now.
Have switched up from vodka to bourbon, and given up smoking though.

I fell down a dry waterfall and broke my jaw, still have a big scar under my chin.

I once fell into my parents pond, dragged myself out and immediately fell over the garden wall and knocked one of my front teeth out.

Not my favourite BBQ.

>>6682824

Fuck you.

friend made a 2 liter mixture 1 part gingerale 6 parts cheap plastic bottle whiskey and i get so fucked up i have to walk myself home as everything is perpetually sliding to the right. get home and slide into bed with gf that has work in the morning. wake up late to a note from her asking me to wash the carpet and clothes that were on the ground because i had urinated on them in a drunken stupor. worst. stickynote. ever

>be 19
>my friend's friend is super rich (she had 4 horses) and books a private booth at a club in town
>the only people who go that night are me, my friend, another friend and her
>as part of the deal you get 2 bottles of vodka and some cranberry juice with the booth.
>she has about 2 shots of it and then buys her own drinks for the night
>my other friend has about a quarter of one of the bottles
>my other other friend gets through the rest of the bottle
>i end up drinking a whole bottle of vodka over the course of the night, plus a beer and a jaegermeister shot (or it might have been tequila, most of this story is based on what others have told me)
>get fucked up drunk, bouncer tells us to leave before I start vomiting
>once outside my friends leave me alone for a few minutes (for some reason)
>some random dudes pretend to chill with me in order to steal my money and ID
>apparently some guys cockslapped me
>when I get home i cant get up the stairs to my room, so my mom brings my mattress down
>i'm still drunk for about 6 hours when I wake up the next morning.

>>6682894
I love that movie, it makes me so happy when I watch it
10/10 drunk movie
shame about the sequel, though

>>6683900
>mixed gin and rum
>gin and rum
>gin
>rum

Do you not have taste buds or a sense of smell what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

>>6683955
It's the sheer volume of liquid and calories that makes you vomit.

I can drink 7 shots of gin and still drive a car in a straight line but if I try more than three beers in under an hour I'll usually blow chunks.

drank way way too much and got hungover to the point where i couldn't keep anything down, including water, for about 18 hours

>>6684748
Yeah, that's the real reason for the "beer before liquor" rule. Beer's just not enough alcohol to get drunk or buzzed fast enough without filling you up too much.

got a halfgallon with a buddy once

>hanging out with some thug-life dicks for whatever reason. one whiteboy and two mexicans, who are brothers.

>whiteboy jacks my buddy, maces him and swats me in the mouth a few times
>splits my lip pretty bad
>busts my nose

>cant fight back because his boys have me in a double half-nelson, one asshole on each arm

>rips my favorite teeshirt right to fucking ribbons

>we get thrown out of the apartment so hard we bounce off the sidewalk, he goes somefuckinwhere

>i'm in the parking lot, like, blasted and bleeding everywhere.
>end up talking to some random girls who are getting into their car.
>turns out they're going to my cousin's apartment across town.
>they offer me a ride, i get in.
>we get to my cousins place and she starts doing the OHMIGAWDWHATHAPPENNAYOU routine.
>we drink a lot (more) and have a good time.

>go to work the next day (we work at the same place. she serves, i cook) firstfuckingthing out of the chefs mouth when he sees my busted up face

"oh hey nice herpes fag you catch a bad dick last night?"

nothing really bad. but I've had loads of bad experiences, humiliating myself by acting like a jackass while wasted. its a skill you have to learn, how to control yourself while extremely drunk and its better to do it while you're young or not drink

>>6684795
other than everything that happened, would you do it all again?

>>6684837
yeah sure why not

i haven't had a good "go out and get WRECKED" night in years. hell, i've only drank AT ALL over one weekend last month in the past 5 or 6 years. i'm just kinda whatever about it because i have other stuff going on.

>new years eve 2012-2013
>at a friend who i had gone to university with's house party in brooklyn
>brought two 40s of OE
>they also have lots of booze there which was open to all
>proceed to get completely blackout drunk on malt liquor and single malt scotch
>eventually i leave the party i guess, totally blacked out
>
>wake up in the hospital tied to a gurney
>whatthefuck.png
>slowly remember snippets of the night
>had passed out on the street in the middle of fairly ghetto brooklyn
>some stranger had called an ambulance i guess
>i was completely belligerent and was attempting to escape the hospital and was physically aggressive towards those attempting to stop me
>can't remember much except screaming at hospital staff
>eventually released from the hospital that morning
>i've never lived in brooklyn and don't have data on my phone which is out of batteries anyway so i have no idea where i am
>wander around like a zombie for a while until i found the subway
>made my way back to my parent's place where i was staying for the holidays
>had to pay $1000 dollars for the privilege of riding in the ambulance and being in the hospital
>feel intense shame
And yet I'm getting drunk right now, I'll never learn

>new years eve
>approaching blackout drunk
>crash in front of the tv after the ball drops
>so drunk that i'm watching Escape Plan and enjoying it
>finish off a 6 pack
>eventually i'm watching two tvs that are sliding off the wall
>dialogue and plot have become incomprehensible
>what a great movie

I don't remember most of this, but this is what was pieced together the next couple days from various people

>junior year of college
>first day back, just moved into new apartment
>met a girl who invited me and friends to a party
>go with friends, drink copious amounts because it's the first night back
>blackout worst of my life
>forgot I moved into new apartment that day
>walked back to old apartment, front door is a keycode lock
>blackout me somehow still remembers it
>stupid landlords didn't change code when new people moved in
>walked around old apartment in drunken haze
>finally realize I moved
>somehow made it back to new apartment
>puked all next morning while roommate and his parents were moving in
>parents are jewish, think their son doesn't drink
>they believe me when I say I have food poisoning

the only way I figured this out was because I lost my phone in my old apartment while walking around before realizing I had moved, new guys in the apartment said they never saw me in there.

>go to friend's house, haven't seen him in forever
>there's beer so i chug one down
>"hey bro I'm going to the store, want anything?"
>ask for a tallboy and some poptarts (was at the point where you make poor decisions already)
>while he's gone, drink the rest of the six pack without realizing it and watch other friends play shitty old n64 games
>friend arrives with pop tarts and more cheap shitty beer
>consume the entire box of poptarts in minutes, wash it down with beer
>another friend comes over with Taco Bell, eat who knows how many burritos
>dizzy as fuck, can hardly move, worst part is my gut is full of literal garbage
>they start up Goldeneye 64 and the motion gets too much for me, charge into bathroom
>sit on toilet, face sink, vomit so fucking much
>didn't even lock the door before pulling my pants off, friend is trying to come in and make sure i don't drown or something but my dick is out and i can't get it back in my pants
>start screaming "my dick is out, fuck off" and kicking the door
>he gives up eventually and leaves me to desecrate his bathroom
>throw up more, see chunks of burrito and jelly
>pass out briefly
>come to still drunk as fuck but sober enough to realize ow horrible I was, do my best to clean
>grillfriend comes over to drive me home, real scared I'd puke in her car but I don't
>go home and pass out in the shower for a while, then climb into bed

I feel real bad about his bathroom.

>>6684930
>>they believe me when I say I have food poisoning
I used this one a few time when I was younger, the most memorable time being when I puked on my friend's head in high school. Do you think they actually believed us or just went along with it?

>freshman year of uni
>never drank before until a few weeks ago
>new drink friends invite me to their dorm room
>have handle of tequila
>make it our mission to finish it that night
>some people come by but we are all pissed so leave shortly after
>mission completed
>next day
>go to cafeteria to eat
>asked by this qt3.14 that's friends with the other two if I'm OK
>wot.jpg
>say I'm fine
>tell friends about how weird that was
>apparently she came by, I shortly after vomitted on friends couch multiple times, and start talking/sobbing to her while I talk about how worthless and shitty I am
>beta.jpg

On another note, I have gotten a DUI while driving to pick up weed (California)

I don't nearly drink as much as I did then, but am pretty much an alchy, haven't blacked out in a while and drink every day but not too much as I live with my folks

Also I may have gotten borderline raped one time while blackout (if wimmin standards apply to both genders)

>December 2010
>Wasn't legal drinking age
>Same night, have another buddy who somehow has an entire bottle of coconut rum
>We first take shots. I probably had like 3 or 4 within a half hour.
>Then, mixed drinks.
>Black out like a motherfucker.
>Remember getting the bright idea to smoke a bowl.
>We smoke.
>Remember laying on my couch looking out into the kitchen and my vision is spinning extremely bad.
>Run outside in the snow, throw up.
>Do this a couple times.
>Eventually sit in my family room throwing up all night with a garbage bag
>Buddy tried sleeping in different room but kept checking on me to make sure I didn't die.
>Mom later finds pipe, but gives it back the next morning.

Then, on my 21st birthday
>Go to bar my sister was a bartender at
>Junkie bar, and she knows everyone there
>Get pretty trashed off 'skittles' shots, don't even know what it's made from but it tasted just like skittles, hence the name.
>Within 2 hours I'm out of it.
>People giving me tokens for free beer and shots.
>Eventually leave, sister somehow gets bag of cocaine. Blow a few lines.
>Oh yeah, my underage cousin was with me drunk too, they never ID'd him.
>We go to different bar. Remember talking politics with some guys.
>Then I was dancing with my cousin and clearly drunk as hell.
>Get kicked out, but before I buy a 6 pack
>Go to buddies house
>Smoke a bowl
>Don't remember anything other than sitting in the back of his driveway between his garage and little cabin thing he built, throwing up
>Comes out and tells other buddy to take me home
>He does
>Sick all night.

Maaaaaany frozen rum runners on Miami beach
Passed out on the sand
Puked in my sleep, all in my hair, stunk to high heaven
Wake up 2.5 hours later with a blistering sunburn
Go back to tiki bar

Drink pure grain/jungle juice
Traipsing around the neighborhood on foot
Randomly puking as I walk down the street in people's yards
Wake up on a friends bathroom floor coiled around the commode

Ahhh, to be young

>>6682762
I can relate to that anon, I've done some seriously shamefur shit when plastered

still drink tho

>out going to bars with friends
>the rich guy gets real drunk and starts buying me drinks
>have a great time
>on the way back home get really sick
>open the car's window and throw up out of it when we're going at 60mph or something
>I'm crawling in a ditch vomiting while everyone who didn't fuck their shit up is wiping the side of the car
>the hangover felt like I was killed and dragged back out of the grave previous night
this is why I stopped drinking
buckets of vomit everywhere

>16 years old
>parent's out of town for the weekend
>never had more than a beer
>decide to raid parent's liquor cabinet since they mostly just drink beer
>finish half a bottle of tequila
>end up running around in the rain crying and screaming hysterically
>rain dies down, stars come out
>have a low part of roof on house
>decide to climb on roof to watch stars
>pass out laying on roof
>woken up by neighbor after he sees me passed out on the roof the next morning
>he's a bro, has had a couple DUI's
>laughs and never tells my parents

>>6684973
Normally I'd say they wouldn't believe it, but this kid's parents are so ignorant it's hilarious. We go to a D1 school known for partying, and the kid's mom sat him down after sophomore year and asked him "anon...have you ever been drunk?". They believed him when he said "once or twice"

>>6685125
kek, my favourite is probably when I was like, 17 or something, and my parents bought that I had "food poisoning" the day after I had made the arch mistake of taking suboxone and drinking a shit load of beer the night before. That was probably the most I've ever felt like I was really going to die. Don't fuck with synthetic heroin

>in college
>annual campus wide block party
>start playing kegball with friends at 9am
>proceed to drink and party entire day
>wake up next morning
>$300 charge on my debit card from a taco shop
>poor college kid, that overdrew my account
>freaking out, go to taco shop the next day
>cashiers start laughing and saying "ayy, it's this guy again"
>have no recollection of anything past about noon that day
>ask what happened
>they tell me I was wasted making out with a girl when I got to the register
>proceeded to yell "FUCK YA, TACOS FOR EVERYONE"
>gave them my card

so ya, that's the time I spent every last dollar I had buying tacos for everyone. Parents weren't too happy about that one

>>6683836
>8 shots of whiskey
>couldn't walk straight

>>6682670
>going downtown with a few friends on a bus
>meet up with a group of people who are already drunk
>hand me a 24oz pepsi bottle and dare me to chug
>already about 4 beers in, so just drunk enough to follow through on a shitty idea
>chug the bottle
>proceed to follow group to different clubs and bars
>entire time apparently yelling at random people to have sex with me
>apparently it worked on one woman who was equally drunk
>wake up next morning to an obese women in her late 60s
Friends still make fun of me for it. Every time we see an old and/or obese women in public, it's
>OH SHIT! Anon, compose yourself, we don't want you defiling that pure innocent princess

>>6685178
FUCK forgot to mention the important part
>24 oz pepsi bottle filled with dark rum

Went 3 way on some fat mess with my mates 1 after the other. I was second. ( none of us wore condoms)

>>6685178
kek, was it her place or yours? how'd you get out of there/get her out of there?

>Got drunk
>Fell asleep in my friend's living room
>Had a gruesomely vivid nightmare about watching a decapitation
>Woke up
>Ran outside and puked off the edge of the porch
>Fell back asleep in the hallway

>>6685207
Her place. It was pretty uneventful, though kind of awkward. Woke up, grabbed my clothes, she woke up while I was trying to find all my shit
>good morning babe
>uhhh....uhhhh...bye

>>6685223
Ick, I'd make fun of you for it were I your friend tbh

It actually wasn't a horrible experience but it's funny so I'm gonna share it

>highschool prom night
>start night off with a few screwdrivers (lol the shit we drank in HS)
>get a little buzz before going to the actual dance
>actual dance was whack as fuck
>we left
>I grab my 24 from wherever we stashed our booze
>go to some random chicks place out in the sticks
>drink like 8 pints there
>too many people show up to this chicks place so we gotta leave since my friend group doesn't know her that well(think this is why we left)
>remember stumbling down gravel driveway while it's raining out and handle on 24 ripping
>see other buddy leaving
>he says a few people are going back to his, we can go
>he's only like a 15 minute walk from my place, rad
>go there
>get finish most of my beers
>sitting outside with friends
>having a cigarette
>oh god here it comes
>puke into ash bucket we had
>we're all pretty drunk so my friends just laugh at me and call me an idiot or whatever
>decide I'm gonna crush this 24
>would literally drink a beer, puke it up, then drink another one
>apparently I was just shouting about how I was gonna finish it just to say I did or something like that
>other dude we'd just met that night tells my buddy "that's competely disgusting but I've never seen someone so dedicated to finishing a case of beer"
>eventually me & my friends leave to walk back to my place
>chilling in my basement
>my friend (A) tells me other friend (B) called me a "nigger faggot"
>i'm not black so i have no idea why
>but I got really offended by this
>"WHAT?!?!?!"
>proceed to pick a fight with friend, B
>he whooped my ass but he said it didn't even look like I was feeling anything
>apparently he was on top of me punching me and I'd just get up and call him a pussy
>happened a few times
>we all laugh about it the next day

>>6685236
Yeah, I don't blame them. I know from their point of view it was hilarious.

>Be me
>Like 13-14 years old: in grade 9.
>Going through my shit-head high-schooler phase.
>Plot party with friends, we know many people who are able to purchase booze for us.
>Party night rolls around, we've accumulated a large stash of liquor.
>Lie to mother about where I'm going, say I'm sleeping over at a friend's.
>Party is held on the edge of town, we have a bonfire going, pretty damn sweet.
>Drink to high hell.
>herewego.jpg
>I decide to try to make a bottle shank in my drunken stupor.
>Shatters fucking everywhere.
>Being off my ass I decide to "clean up" the shards of glass.
>"Good job me, you're being responsible!"
>Night wears on, I can't feel my face. Everyone decides to move the party to a friend's place.
>Best pal's older brother and his girlfriend come to pick us up.
>I wobble unsteadily as we reach their car, proceed to slightly fall and cut my knees.
>Make it into their vehicle, door still open as I'm talking to the girlfriend.
>Proceed to erupt like a bloody volcano of puke onto her shoes.
>OhfuckOhfuck
>She's k (or so she said)
>Reach friends house, realize I'm off my ass and should go home.
>Desperately try to sober up by shoving soda crackers into my gullet and downing water.
>Puke into sink.
>Sober up a bit, notice blood everywhere. The fuck?
>Enormous bleeding wound on center of palm, from picking up the glass earlier on. I'll probably need stitches.
>End up being taken home.
>Drunken walk of shame into my house, so drunk I stumble up the stairs.
>Cry to my mother about how sorry I was for being drunk and lying.
>Grounded for a month.

Lucky for me my palm didn't need stitches. Pretty wimpy story, but eh.

>>6682670
>been drinking all day
>go to a friends house and bong a pint of 102 proof liquor
>have to get driven home because I cant even speak
>get home and hug dad on his birthday
>he is a recovering alcoholic
>such shame

>>6685204

I also went bareback on some Eastern European old prostitute, woke up and as soon as I remembered what happened I just curdled up into a ball of fear. Not had a single std in my life :)

> Day before new years eve
> home from the army in Wisconsin
> go to a country bar that is about 2 miles from my house
> I meet a well known bar fly who is also a farmer named Al
> Al is this short fat white haired farmer
> funny as fuck
> Me being cocky and young challenge Al and attempt to out drink him.
> We drink beer
> shake dice for shots
> drink beer
> play pool
> drink more beer
> do shots
> shake dice
> drink beer
> we close the bar down
> I don't remember leaving the bar
> I wake up on a couch in a basement
> I am at Al's house
> the farmer was nice enough to take me to his house
> I go back to my parents house for a party they were planning
> mfw I have to do this all over again on New Years Eve

I felt ashamed I out shinned by a short fat old farmer, but we have been buddies ever since.

First time drinking while at college
>drinking straight vodka out of a water glass because there was literally nothing to mix it with
>sitting my girlfriend's basement watching some of our friends play GTA V
>not experienced with liquor, have a huge glass, and am just sitting around, so I have no idea how drunk I'm getting
>eventually, girlfriend helps me stumble upstairs and gets me onto the couch
>a few hours later I get up and stumble over to the bathroom
>can't manage the door so I just curl up on the floor outside
>my girlfriend gets up and helps me into bathroom
>I drop my pants and sit down on the toilet, with the lid still down
>girlfriend freaks out but it becomes clear that I'm not going to shit on the toilet lid
>she closes the door and I sit there for what I'm told was hour feeling fucking awful
>at some point I start puking
>girlfriend opens door to me pulling my pants up and saying "I don't know where it went"
>it turns out it went in my pants
>the pants I just put back on

Somehow we're still together.

>>6685366
>Somehow we're still together.
My ex-girlfriend and me often got drunk together, and eventually one would vomit in the other's home and the other ended cleaning it. So IKTFB.

lots. invino veritas. i ddrink too much, troo often, but andsay this honestly. and drunk now, hang upthe keys and Idon't wanna be sround you. been quite ana hole my sailf, but never hurt others. Iguess idid sobeit. ifl looking for a saiint,I am not. thanks much. really.. egh don'tthink too much of yourself,or me just me.that's alotProbably theworlds wors orwoust. i don't know what to say,csnnot pay them they were there when i needed them. and thats afact.Jack.

>>6685382
I don't believe you

>>6685382
go to bed pete

>>6685382

>>6685378
It's the only time I've puked from alcohol (never really came close again). She's never drank enough to puke, but I had to take her drink away the first time she ever drank "I'm just feeling faint. I'm gonna keep drinking."

>Drink too much boxed wine
>Wake up to my my bed soaked with puke and piss

Also:
>Get wrecked on Black Velvet
>Go to swing dancing club (Wyoming lol)
>Apparently almost get into many fights
>Grind on random chicks
>Cockblock my friend who found a horny sorority chick who just broke up with her boyfriend
Somehow I made it home. I remembered almost nothing from the night prior. I get all of this info second hand.

>>6683955
If I drink one high ABV beer too fast I can start to feel it. I can totally imagine how 8 standard drinks can get someone fucked up

>>6682804

You didn't ruin your life though, alcohol doesn't cause anecephaly, and aborting is the smart decision, why wait for a ded baby? You deserved those white russians, think of it as pregaming your sadness at the anecephaly.

>>6683955
Being a "drinking brag" usually means that you're either disgustingly fat or you have a serious problem with alcohol and you need to give your liver a break so you can loosen up your tolerance.
I would probably vomit after 8 bottles of beer, but only if I drank them in immediate succession. I could probably drink 12-15 with no problem if it were spread out over six or seven hours.

>>6685366
she's a keeper

>>6682670
Chugged 1/3 handle of Capt. Morgan.... never again

>>6682670
>be me
>15, never cooked with alcohol before
>saw something about it on TV
>know I do, in fact, like bourbon
>"HNM LET'S PUT IT IN THE PAN WITH THE STEAK"
>end up accidentally blowing the flame out while wiggling the pan
>hissing, bubbling
>*click* *click* *click* ALOHA SNACKBAR
>the ceiling is covered in soot, smoke alarm goes off from aerosolized butter being caught in the alcohol fireball
>No longer have any of the stubble I accumulated over the last 3 weeks
>white stove is now black
>Steak is, while darker than a Nigerian on the outside, perfectly cooked inside

>>6682670
Alcoholism.

>>6685382

Nice try faggot, the ideas behind the intentional typos are too coherent.

Try again in three years when the shakes fuck your fingers back to the stone age.

>>6683836
legit kek'd

>>6684309
I'm 6 foot 2 inches and 125 pounds,
I believe it.
I'd post a picture of my spooky arm but not about to start a blog post in an already admittedly "look at me" thread.
I can handle my liquor better then him though. Probably because I'm an alcoholic

1/2
Be 21 about to deploy to Iraq. A few people in my unit and myself decide to go to Vegas for our week off before we leave instead of going home since fuck trying to go back home along with 2k+ other people. they actually have their GFs and wifes meet them in Vegas. and everyone does own thing.

One day get a text asking what im doing. say im seeing a show. they say have fun and leave it at that. bought ticket early so im in second row. during show something hits me in the back of my head, i look back and see the group of them all together with their girls. after show we talk and they ask if i want to play some beer pong or something. i say sure and we go to some little club that has tables for it. and this is where the night starts.

I dont like beer at all and tell them so make a deal i'll keep drinking my Vodka and play with them and my team mate will drink the beer. i win both rounds even though we swapped team mates. after the games they say fuck it lets celebrate your 21st birthday. "but that was 7 months ago" "we know you didnt do shit" "ok you got me, lets go" we go and find a club and ask how we get a private booth they say you have to put 80 dollars towards your tab for the night up front and we say fuck we are going to drink more than that (there are 7 of us total) and we get a booth they checked our IDs and saw 5 of us are army. so they let us go alittle bit more crazy cause everyone was still muh 9/11 muh freedom back then. they asked what we should start with and i said "i'll stick with my vodka im a plain guy" "wtf have you even tried anything else" "not really but i like my vodka" "fuck that you are having a new drink every glass" starts out fine they make fun of me a little as i react to new drinks, get told guy one of the guys club didnt have a RR for guests (made it up as a gauge to see how drunk i was) had to walk out one entrance and into casino 10 feet away through casino floor to RR at back to piss

>Drinking in snowy mountain town
>Start a pub crawl with my mates
>Free drink at every bar
>Visit a total of 10 bars
>Last bar had free tequila shots
>Smashed 4 of them in a row
>Wake up covered in frost next to a frozen lake
>Hypothetic
I'm lucky I didn't die.

>>6685382

Actually a pretty solid imitation of ORG. Not perfect but the best I've seen really, and thats afact.Jack.

>>6685898

But if it was all hypothetic then what really happened

>>6685898
>hypothetic

>>6682670
>Start having sex with ex-gf
>She's had a few
>She vomits on me and herself
Complete boner killer.

>>6685895
2/2
i piss a lot and often when drunk, shit just goes right though me. they would all drink the same thing they got me to how it is drinkable. at one point they got me something i hated and spent 10 min scraping my tongue with my teeth try to get the taste off, they said i looked like a cat about to hurl. at some point i start going into auto mode and talking shit in different languages and taking shit but keep drinking. some dude thinks we having a open party and tries to join us, as he is walking up the stairs my 1st sgt. starts to get up to stop him but bouncer just flies in and says "I got this Top" and we all cheer for him. we keep drink and even try to Coin each other and other military drink shit. I go make another trip to RR and when i get back and sit in the booth i get handed my next drink and wake up in my hotel room to my phone ringing, my head is killing me, not a hang over which i never get (even black out drunk when i get up to piss during night i drink a glass of water each time, which makes me piss again later and drink more water) i answer the phone and walk towards bathroom "hey your alive good, you want to go to a strip club" "no man my head is killing me" "dude that's a hang over" "no i dont get hang overs i come from a long line of drinkers" get into bathroom atleast 5 cups and water spilled all around sink look in mirror "WTF why is there dried blood on my face" "whats the last thing you remember?"
turns out we were at club for 2 hours longer than i remember (we were there about 5 hours) my wallet had 0 cash in it now. at some point i was hitting on my E6's fiancée and asked to see her boobs. 3/2 to follow

>>6685921

>vomit
>boner killer
fag

>>6682670
half a bottle of everclear. apparently an ambulance was called.

>piss ass drunk at friends house outside talking on the porch
>friends found some drifter girl at bar and decided to invite her over for small after party
>i tend to go full /pol/ when i'm real drunk and i guess something triggered me
>start arguing with rando girl about abortion
>she starts crying
>"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE UNTIL YOU HAVE TO DO IT"
>mfw i made a girl who had an abortion cry

she ended up being pretty nice and we smoothed it over, but i felt kinda bad about it.

>Halloween night
>no costume, not planning on partying
>"I am an iron wall, I am not a mere tool of peer pressure. I will sit here and play my video games and everything will be perfect and nobody can make me go out tonight."
>friends call up
>so much for being an iron wall

>walking to party where friends are at
>run into other friends on the way, headed in the other direction
>join up with them, consume inappropriate amounts of straight vodka from my russian friend
>practically shitfaced by the time I even get to this party
>party is shit anyways so I drunkenly give other friend a piggyback ride back to the original destination, where she lived
>that party is even shitter, do a couple shots to forget how shit it is
>everyone moves up the street to another party
>its even shittier than the last one
>I'm drunk and pissed at this point
>ugly chick leaves about an eighth of a bottle of straight vodka on the coffee table, finish it in an enraged roar
>leave that shitty party and start heading down the road, vision is only like one or two degrees at this point
>really shouldn't get so pissed at coffee table vodka
>
>
>somehow I'm back at the first party
>allegedly spend 10 minutes grilling those in attendance on math problems which I was in no state to be solving myself
>end up falling out the window

I'm certainly not a very experienced person since my worst experience is pretty much a normal Saturday for some people.

>>6685934
>allegedly spend 10 minutes grilling those in attendance on math problems which I was in no state to be solving myself

I do this on every topic when i'm really drunk.

>>6685924
3/2
they decided i was done for night when i got up and said very louded "I have to leave, i need to catch my train" (are there trains in vegas?) they carried me back to hotel room put me on bed hanging over edge with head in trash can for puking, (blood was from repeatedly hitting head on the edge of it everytime i heaved) at one point i passed out for awhile and they though i died cause how much they had me drink they did a AVPU test on me, which involved running their knuckles down my spine to which woke up called the other E6's wife a bitch for doing it it so she punched me. and they left me for the night.

i gathers up my cloths found open unused condom on floor near pants which had pockets stuff full of Hooker cards and moved trach can full of vomit with blood down 1 side near door so i couldnt smell it. Later i found out during one of my first walks to casino RR they told the waitress to bring me w/e drink they ordered for table and just bring them something that looked like it, Coke, water, etc so they could just enjoy watching me make a fool for the night.

for the next 4 years i'm in the unit anytime the whole unit is gather for a class or something and they need to kill time the tail of Spc Anon in vegas gets told. but since im HQ and always doing my paper work im never around when it gets told. but always have new guys in unit come up and ask did you really hit on SSG Anon's wife in vegas? who the fuck are you PVT?

5 years ago freshman year of college

>4loko's are fucking huge, everyones drinking them
>have had 2.5 of the "delicious" blue razz by this point
>fat girl and her 5/10 friend ask us if we want to funnel some 4loko.
>stupidfreshman.jpg
>sure!
>my buddy had been in a bit of a dryspell with the ladies and the 5/10 was eyeing him
>start talking my friend up as we go outside to funnel
>friend doesn't really want to do the funnel, he's already pretty drunk
>"come on, i'll make out with you if you do it"-5/10 girl
>they make out for a bit
>friend and I funnel
>5/10 girl goes to do the funnel and proceeds to remove her teeth.
>homegirl had dentures.

oh and later that night I slept in his roommates bed who was not there and in the middle of the night pissed all over his roommates printer and desk because I thought I was in the bathroom.

>take trip to NYC with school's honors program
>friends and I have a mutual understanding that we are going to get shitfaced
>pack enough Calico to make things interesting
>evening we arrived, bartender in the hotel nonchalantly told us where to get fake IDs for fiddy bucks
>worth it.jpg
>go to location described, there's nothing there
>roam this particular little section of Manhattan trying every tattoo parlor we see on the off chance the bartender directed us to the wrong one
>they think we're cops because the operation got shut down 2 years prior, says one Jamaican tattooist

>friend assures us that we can get into clubs anyways, they don't care
>never been clubbing before, I'm excited
>so excited that I down most of my calico mixed with a warm pepsi from the 9th floor vending machines
>final expeditionary force is me, douche friend, whore friend, and stupid "we'll be fine" friend
>nobody but us believed "we'll be fine" friend
>who cares there's a 1:1 man to vagina ratio here
>walk 1.5 miles or so shitfaced down the streets of Manhattan towards alleged club scene
>bouncers everywhere
>they're having none of our shit
>finally a bro-tier passerby directs us to the Webster
>never heard of it but apparently it'll let us in

>wait in line out front of this spicy venue
>hear the sick beats from within
>aww man here we go this is it
>get in the lobby
>$40 cover charge
>friends are pulling out their wallets, I am prepared to have ZERO of this bullshit
>turn 360 degrees and march out of the club
>it is now 3am, I'm precariously on the threshold of blacking out
>and alone in NYC with no fucking idea where I am
>or wait yes I do the streets are all fucking numbered
>recall Home Alone 2 where the kid is allegedly lost in New York
>bitch that shits impossible
>march my ass 35 blocks down and 2 over, fists clenched and puffing through my nose like an impotent drunken bull
>god i hate this city

>>6684201
made me kek anon

>>6682670
>Girls breaks up with me
>Get absolutely shitfaced with a friend that lives an hour away by train
>Very little memory of the return trip
>I do remember dancing alone with my music turned up to max in the station while waiting for my train
>twice
>get home, pass out
>theres skid mark shit stains in my boxers

>>6683955
maybe most of these stories are from when people were teenagers

>>6685143
kekkin

>New Years
>watching a movie with a friend on Skype
>drinking my ass off
>suddenly realize I drank half a liter of rum on my own
>black out
>puke everywhere
>ruin my computer mouse
>haven't drank since

Keep in mind that I was a goody-two-shoes, no drinking, no drugs, 15/16 year old
>be in year 10
>work experience at university
>staying with my brother and his flat mates for the two weeks
>last night before last day at work
>joined their D&D session
>brother brings out yamizaki whisky (don't quote me on that, can't remember exactly what it was)
>we all get shitfaced drinking whisky and start a new D&D run of only bare-fisted drunkards
>2am we pack it up and head to sleep after heavy vomiting and roof-climbing
>I think a long debate about whether or not it was ethical to make me drive them to hungry jacks with no license occurred
>no vomiting, thought I was hot-shit
>wake up at 11am
>room is on the second floor and the stairs are awful
>get dressed
>realise I'm two hours late for work
>about a 30 minute walk to the ICT building on campus from the flat
>no breakfast
>no dinner the previous night
>only whisky
Needless to say I arrived at 12, and spent most of the working day in the bathroom vomiting.

>be me
>about 2 months ago
>first time going out to fridays and coworkers
>get shitfaced after 2 and a half beers
>all i remember was stumbling around like an idiot
>had to call out from work, threw up in coworkers truck a few times and ended up throwing a lot more at home and staying up til like 3
>next day at work coworkers tell me i was rubbing coworker's thigh and blowkissing and all sorts of gay shit at him (same one who drove me home), got pissed at waitress who took my last half of beer and told her to suck my dick
>everyone at work suspects im a fag
>literally not a fag

>>6682670
Drank probably 600ml of Fire ball in a pretty short period of time.

My last brown out memories include.

1. Stating I couldn't feel my arms

2. Puking into the kitchen sink

3. Leaning on kitchen counter as friends claim the police were just outside dealing with another drunkard

4. Crawling into the tub, falling back putting a massive dent in the door with my head (no blood)

5. waking up in the tub with discolored feet/fingers, very cold water, and a pile of shit at the end of the tub (at which point I slammed on hot water, pushed the shit down the drain, and began drinking as much water as possible from the shower) ... passed out again

6. Many hours later 8am (10 hours after getting fucked up) crawl out of tub go to bed

7. 10am puke blood and call 911 (told to drink water and that I probably poked my fingers down my throat)

>at bar with dad
>drink a beer, 2 sangria, a shot of some local texas whiskey
>come home
>shot of fireball
>huge cup of makers and diet coke
>drink 80% of a fireball bottle (could have probably died from alcohol poisoning) because I was so drunk and literally do not remember doing it

I puked and was so sick for a day, i wanted to go into a coma. Kind of pissed that my dad didn't take care of me a little bit and cut my ass off like any of my friends or a bartender would have done, but I'm 23 I guess.

>>6682804

you fucked up the bait by saying 6 months

went to a party when I was 17 where I was the only one not drinking like a 17 year old tryhard at their first party

2 guys had just broken up with chicks and wouldnt stop crying; 1 guy got a DUI and a suspended learners licence until he was 20; there was a massive puddle of vomit on the back steps and the friend I was there with ditched me to fuck a 5/10 chick (which was admittedly a relief to me cause she'd been trying to jump my bone in weeks prior to the party and I was trying to avoid her)

Never had a bad time with drinking that wasnt caused by other people despite getting blackout drunk plenty of times. Never even had a bad time the morning after (which I figure is cause I get drunk like a 5ft anorexic despite being a fatty)

>>6683080
No shit that's why it's colloquially called the stomach flu you twat.

>>6682710
Gr8 b8 m8!

>>6682670

I rarely drink to the excess, but the worst hangover I ever had involved a fifth of Rumple Minze and a sixer of Steel Reserve pounders. Next morning: splitting headache, dehydration so bad I didn't piss for eight hours despite chugging glass after glass of water, and my balance was so bad I couldn't walk straight despite being totally sober. By some miracle I didn't get the shits, so that's one good thing.

>>6682804
I'm going to get some great karma for this on r/4chan

>>6682752

I have a long history with alcohol abuse. In fact I have to take antabuse at the moment to get my subs. I got 4 dui's, been arrested a few times, been on house arrest and spent 2 month in prison for my fourth.

Anyway this was a few years back:
>earthquake
>snakey hillroad gets closed off
>no car
>steal car, some honda quite a long car, auto
>ram the barricade smash through
>also I'm suicidal and drunk at this point
>like 24km of hill snakeys to myself, at night in the rain fucking boosting it havig a great time drinking some beer blasting sounds
>pretty drunk, this is like 2 hours of just fucking round doing skids and driving real fast gapping speedbumps
>doing like 120km, btw the road is only like 1 and 1/2 car wide it's gravel at some points real isolated
>drunk, take corner
>don't take corner
>fly
>10 meter solid drop
>rear wheels clipped a boulder spinning the car
>roll down mountainside (9+ times over 250 meters according to police report)
>come to
>think it's raining through the roof
>is actually my face blood pouring on my body
>crawl through back side door
>pissing down, just in t-shirt
>can barely see so much blood in eye
>in pain everything is painful
>takes me like 1 hour to get to help
>long story short broke my collar bone lost two front teeth and broken nose over 150 stitches my left ear was just hanging on got hypothermia never been so cold in my life
>lucky to survive
>took an army unimog type truck to get my car out
>jail
>fines
>probation

I got an ok benzo script (10mg valium a day) now but it's just not the same. I miss drinking.

Also that was like my fifth alcohol related crash and the 4th car I've written off.

I'm not a bad driver. I can drive well when I need to (passed 100% driving test), I just get bored I guess I like to push it, get air go fast do drifts skids etc also I really enjoy drink driving. I have to do this stupid alcohol course once a week it's so boring two hours 5-7 on a tuesday with a bunch of degen alcohols

Coma when I was 17 after drinking 2 liters of vodka withing one hour. Couldn't get out my bed for a week.

Not really bad, but I did just drink a bottle of Barefoot Riesling and I'm a little drunk right now. Just fumbled my phone and accidentally threw it at my desk.

>>6686707
>2.5 beers
>shitfaced
pick 1

>>6685941
I too have a freshman 4loko story

>freshman year
>pound a four loko and then crack another to sip over the next hour or so
>right after I open it "anon we're going to the party in 10 minutes"
>fuck
>finish second 4loko
>do a couple shots of jack d at the party
>blackout
>puke pure green from 4loko's all night long
>espn college gameday is on campus for football game
>sleep maybe 2 hours, go to gameday at 6am
>drink entire day to ward off hangover
>slept an entire day after that

>party with new bandmates, celebrate finally being a whole, cohesive, shredding destroyer of good taste
>drink the better part of 26oz of gin
>head to visit family very early in the morning, on that cusp between wasted and hungover
>father offers me some cheese he just picked up
>smells like an infected vagina... can't possibly taste this bad
>eat a crumb... nope... bad... use my teeth to scrape it off my tongue into the garbage, and down three glasses of water
>manage to avoid throwing up, but now I have to deal with 18h of hangover, and that putrid taste in my mouth. All the red wine and pickled hors d'oeuvres in the world weren't cutting through the memory of that awful shit.

>be 12
>come home with friend after middle school
>mom is not home
>huff crazy strong glue from art class
>fully stocked bar in basement with keg
>decide it's time to see what getting drunk is about
>don't know that people don't take a shot of every kind of liquor and liqueur there it the bar
>take shot of every liquor and liqueur at the bar
>drink straight from the keg
>start to feel the drunk
>yes I was made for this
>10 minutes goes by and start to feel really drunk
>try walking in straight lines like they do on cops
>fail miserably
>let's go outside
>walk halfway around the block
>takes so long to walk this small distance
>fall face first on sidewalk
>skull bounces on sidewalk upon impact
>ow lol
>darkness
>wake up in hospital
>feel like death
>nurse threatens to stick tube up my duck if I don't pee in a cup
>yell at her to give me the cup
>pee in cup
>parents come in crying and yelling
>beg for them to stop because it hurts my head
>they don't stop
>I'll never drink again.

I had a blood alcohol level of .23 when I first came to hospital like 2-3 hours after drinking. We made it almost around the block after I blacked out before someone called 911. Apparently we were stumbling through yards and falling down in front of families outside and yelling obscenities at them. I ended up with a concussion and aversion to whiskey because it tasted like the glue to me for years. I drank again.

True story.

>go to a party
>there is trash can punch
>down two solo cups
>ask afterwards how the mixed it
>half everclear and half punch
>there was ginger ale to dilute with that I didn't see
>laugh and walk thirty feet before falling over straight as a board unable to feel my legs or see
>black out
>wake up in another fucking county half naked and covered in vomit

>last year of higschool
>I had only ever drank with small groups of friends
>wanted to go to a big party before I graduated
>go to one out in the woods with a big ass fire
>have a backpack full of my dad's cheap beer and a tin full of peanuts
>wear it backwards on my stomach
>by the time the fire is big and everyone is there I'm fucking shitfaced
>I'm out of booze so I need to scout out some more
>sneaking in some bushes and see a few people away from other groups talking
>steal some of their booze and hide it in my kangaroo pouch belly
>start drinking there beer with them and not saying anything
>camo index 95%
>one of them notices me and asks who I am
>"I'm the Mayor of Acetown"
>they tell me to fuck off so I go back to the bushes and drink more
>wanted to go home and watch anime because I was sick of normalfags but my dad wasn't going o pick me up for a while
>time to get revenge on some normie scum
>steal a bag of marshmallows and a package of hotdogs
>grab a stick and put the marshmallow on it and roast that shit from the shadows
>it catches on fire
>whip it at some douchbags car playing dubstep
>he doesn't even notice
>keep shooting flaming marshmallows at people
>tossing soggy hot dog wieners into the air and watching them hit people
>nobody knows who is doing this and fights start to break out
>go to someone's car with their window down and puke inside it
>get the fuck out of there and go home with my dad
>pass out in front of my computer with my dick in my hand

>>6688102
I'm very proud of you son

>>6688068
lucky you didn't die, man

>>6688171
I od'd on heroin 4 years ago too. Only smoke weed and drink occasionally after work now.

>be 18
>getting new trial ADHD drugs
>im so bad i literally need them to function
>take a couple and start programming for a hour
>friends hit me up so i go to a party
>drink almost a litre of gin

long story short i woke up in the hospital and almost died. the drugs did NOT agree with me drinking in any way shape or form and even a little could have offed me if i was unlucky

>>6682670
>be 17
>at a friend's house drinking
>drink a bottle of red wine and a few beers
>friend says he doesn't like his wine so drink that too
>have a few more beers
>can't see straight
>more people show up, give me some 20% liqueur that tastes like candy
>blank out for a few hours
>next thing I remember I'm at another friend's house chatting a girl up on a laptop
>get all feelsy emotional with her and realize how aspie I've been with girls my entire life
>drink some vodka for whatever reason despite already being way too drunk
>wake up on friend's bathroom floor, presumably several hours later
>feeling like my heart is about to stop, my chest and head hurts and I'm crying like a bitch
>friends seriously about to call an ambulance for me thinking I have alcohol poisoning
>lay on the bathroom floor for a few hours
>finally sober up enough to stand on my feet
>friend escorts me home
>mfw I wake up in my bed at like 6pm the next day

I wouldn't be surprised if I was on the brink of alcohol poisoning. I've never had any pain from coming down from alcohol before or after.

not one experience specifically, but just in general

>always had "alcoholic" symptoms since I started drinking
>ie: can't have just one without drinking to blackout, withdraw, etc
>junior year of college
>drink every day for 2 weeks straight
>longest bender I've been on
>still manage to do good in school
>realize how fucked my future is going to be if this becomes normal
>quit cold turkey
>lots of withdrawal over next couple days
>insane anxiety, can barely talk to people without voice shaking
>hands shaking so bad
>take quiz in class, hand so shaky, can't even write my name on the quiz
>turn it in blank
>re evaluate my life

for fucks sake, why is weed illegal and alcohol isn't, its 10x more destructive

It's not the worst experience I've had with alcohol, but the worst one I've ever had that has an even remotely interesting story that goes along with it

>sophomore year of college
>just started drinking and have a major sweet tooth, so I love hard shit mixed to make stuff disgustingly sweet
>party in the basement of my co-op
>friend makes a drink and gives me a sip
>tastes like a watermelon jolly rancher
>tells me how he made it, but I'm kinda drunk at this point
>drink a few strong sprite and vodkas
>decide to make this candy drink
>couldn't remember if he said to add vodka (I probably should have realized that it was already 2 parts white rum, 2 parts malibu, 2 parts mixer)
>add it in anyway
>so drunk at this point I can't taste the alcohol
>tastes delicious, so I chug the first and make a second which I also drink really quickly
>start feeling weird, so I run up three flights of stairs to the bathroom nearest my room
>run into a stall and lock the door behind me
>black out and pass out on the bathroom floor while locked in a stall
>house manager sees this and has to crawl under the wall in the stall next to mine to get me out
>drags me out of the stall while I'm unconscious and props me up against the wall and gives me water
>wake up (but remain blacked out) and start apologizing profusely to him for falling asleep in class and not taking notes
>he goes to bed
>3 hours pass (nobody I've talked to knows what happens in these three hours, but I wasn't in the bathroom for most of it, apparently)
>black back in on a couch on the ground floor and girl who's taking care of me says I've been there for 20 minutes or so
>start calling the girl "an angel from on high" for taking care of me
>gay friend gets home blacked out and is really horny
>starts trying to have sex with me when I'm barely conscious
>girl taking care of me defends me from him which causes me to praise her in even more grandiloquent ways
>pass out and go to class the next day with no hangover

>>6688036
man, those were the days.

I remember the first time i drank a 4loko I couldn't feel my face.

I was in a frat in college so we did something similar for when we got new pledges. Get real fucked up the night before and just keep that train rollin the next moringing.

overdid it one time when i woke up still drunk and slammed like a an 1/8th of a handle of whiskey and spewed all over the bathroom. last time i threw up while drunk

>>6682710
>things a chef would never say

Waking up in a pool of urine not knowing whether it was mine or not.

>decide to drink a bit the night before a test
>wind up drinking more than a bit
>pass out while studying
>barely got through the material
>wake up at 4
>vomit all over my notes and bed
>can't study any more even though I have time
>just lay there contemplating life, hoping the hangover passses
>it doesn't
>drag myself hungover to the test at 8
>take it while still hungover, leave
>fall asleep for an hour on a bench outside class
>wake up, decide to skip the rest of my classes and just go home feeling nothing but shame

somehow I got an A

Shit here it goes
be already a type two diabetic in 9th grade
was on langue which is a shot I only take once at night
didn't take it for like a week because my dad always got upset for letting him know at the last minute and I ran out of syringes
Best friends at the time had a whole bottle of cheap shit vodka bout the size of a large grey goose bottle
drink 10-15 shots if not more within an hour and half or so
ohboyherewego.gif
start walking home
holyshit everything's spinning
Get home in one peace and go to sleep
wake up on toilet with pants arou d my ankles
vomit everywhere not a fucking drop in the bowl
go to room and more vomit everywhere
go to bed and dad asks what the fuck happened
explain and he's upset. Feel fine throughout the day
wake up next day.
Can't stop vomiting
Coming out looking like blue Gatorade
well this isn't good
and that's how I became a type one diabetic
was in intensive care for three days
So much throw up
was throwing up every ten minutes for three minutes straight. So lethargic I can't think straight
wasn't allowed to eat food for four days. Here's the fucked up part, when I could finally eat despite being how hungry I was, the soaring pain from my esophagus being burnt from all the stomach acid made it impossible
now I take shots with every meal
Still drink
I'm the white guy in this picture
sorry, it's the only one I've got

>>6688649
how did you become a different type of diabetic from just one day of intense drinking? what's the biochemistry behind that?

>>6688652
It's a fake story.

>>6682710
Because I'm a lawyer, and many days the wrong man walks free. It's not always easy to go to sleep sober.

>2010
>me and my brother buy liquor for a bar we built in our basement
>at some point a fifth got duct taped to my hand
>drunk and pass out
>someone put me in a storage container and pushed me down the stairs
>fifth shatters when I hit the floor
>covered in broken glass

>>6684218
God damnit, I'm drunk and that's too funny.

>>6682736
Dude, I'm not even trying to be like that, but you hardly drank anything.

>>6688695
>Shit Lawyer
>No Evidence
>By the judgment of the law which you adhere he was innocent.
>No excuse to abuse alcohol and go to sleep wasted.

As previously stated only a weaker man would abuse alcohol.

>>6688863
I see you have faith that the law is always on the side of what is right. Ignorance is bliss.

Only one type of lawyer rests easy: the sociopath.

>acquire dream job in th music industry
>after a few years lose job because management was incompetent and inexperienced and ultimately arrogant
>feeling like ive already peaked and nothing is going to get better and im in my mid 20's
>impending suicide
>melodramatic yes but my skills versus the world are bleak

>New year's eve, forgot the year, probably 5-7 years ago
>Had flu
>Took pills
>Family reunion
>Drank one bottle of beer
>Feel like I drank the whole carton
>Starting to get in a bad mood
>Cousins around my age start to fuck around (they are nice people, but I was drunk and they found it funny)
>Get mad, almost punched one of them in front of my aunt
>Yelled "fuck it" in front of everyone, even my grandma and went to sleep, just after the countdown had finished, no hugs, no firecrackers or smiles, straight to bed.
>Wake up without a hangover because it was the pills and not alcohol what got me drunk
It stills haunts me to today and I think it's the reason I barely drink anymore.

>>6688652
To be completely honest, I'm not even sure. But it screwed with me hard. I wonder a lot about it because you're either born type one or.just get type two later on. But it was the first time I ever really drank, and I wasn't taking my lantus insulin for almost a week. After everything it screwed my vision up for a couple days. I'm 23 now and this all happened when I was fifteen

>Decide to pre-plan my DnD group to bring alcohol for my bday since we're playing on it
>"This is going to be a bad birthday isn't it."
>Day of birthday
>Grandma dies
>Receive 3000 dollar fine for my broken arm being plated back on
>slip a disk or something in my back and can't walk straight until my friend pops it back into place or something
>neighbors dog comes by and steals my burger off the porch while I went in to get a drink
>grandfather on other side chides me for not calling him often enough
>DnD time
>proceed to get shitfaced and inhale liquor
>group decides to call it quits when I keep referencing myself as bug and they kill a wall worm
>drive me home and give me mickeyd burgs while I talk to and feed a homeless guy
>get some cake and smash my knee into a table
>get depressed and cry myself to sleep

Long post but had to get it off my chest, sorry.

>>6682670
I got blacked out drunk on a mix of smirnoff and crown royal. Lost count of how many shots of crown I had after 9, then started drinking off the bottle.

I only vaguely remember this cause I thought I was dreaming and I should roll with it, but APPARENTLY, I was sitting on the kitchen floor pointing under the table and proclaiming that the pink fly swatter on the ground was a ghost hell-bent on getting me.

Other than that I poisoned myself on red wine, and probably should have gone into the hospital for that hangover.

>>6689068
you need better friends tbh

got drunk off a bottle of huckleberry champagne, downed the whole thing spontaneously
logged into rs and did temple of light
lords grant me mercy I was punching the wall in frustration

>>6689085
they fixed my back and gave me food that's all i really need to look for in friends?

>be me
>be 21, in Thailand, alone
>go out drinking on Bangla Road
>pretty seasoned beer drinker, taking it easy, enjoying the experience
>gradually start to get drunk to the point of blackouts
>standing out the front of a combini asking fellow tourists where the best brothels are while putting on a british accent for no apparent reason
>suddenly standing on a sidewalk somewhere when a qt3.14 comes up to me asking if I'd like a massage
>figure why the fuck not, pay for a hotel room
>strip down, she starts sucking my dick
>she then moves up and sits on my chest
>trapped.jpeg
>She says "I'm ladyboy. That okay?"
>mumble something drunkenly and start sucking ladyboy's dick
>decide to nope the fuck out of there half way through
>somehow get back to the hotel
>spend the next few days questioning every facet of my being

>this thread

Jesus christ, I thought I behaved poorly on a drunk.

>>6682875
>Cariboo
ma nigga

My worst moments are always when I'm alone. This one time I was puking all over myself, but my room mate was asleep so they weren't able to see it. The other time I pissed in my room mate's slippers, again they were asleep so they didn't know.

Luckily it's only been smooth sailing for me. 20 here and I've never had any horror stories, despite drinking frequently.
I don't understand how people handle their liquor so poorly. If anything being drunk just makes me more restrained about not saying stupid shit. I think of it like a dam, see your head is always full of stupid fucking thoughts, right? Yet while you're sober the dam stays sturdy, holding the stupid shit back. Though as we all know, all it takes is a bit of liquor torpedoes to whittle it down. A few beers here, a shot of vodka there. Next thing you know and WHAM, the dam falls apart and lets loose the worst. A Shitnami.
Then you wake up and realize you told all your friends about your huge lolicon fantasies.

>>6689740
Kind of the same for me. I'll just laugh like an idiot over mundane things, start babbling and doze off. Getting drunk alone is no fun.

>cranberry vodka, imported
>seeing friend I haven't seen in long time
>go out in a field at night to get drunk
>I drink way more than he does
>we discover that we are the opposite gender
>too drunk, partial blackouts ahead
>later, I throw up in the bathtub (why, drunk me, why?)
>puke a while, clean up
>we watch a show
>???
>go to bed, share bed because no where else to sleep
>???
>apparently I beg for his dick
>he doesn't give it because no condom, not on BC
>apparently pounce on him and give him a sloppy (but reputedly good) blowjob
>???
>fall asleep
>wake up, realize I don't have pants on
>he is spooning me
>in and out of sleep
>wake up at 8
>hair is a complete hopeless tangle
>he needs to leave to pick up a relative at the airport
>ask him what happened because I barely remember anything, faintly think his dick was in my mouth at one point but don't say that
>he won't say what happened
>two months later, finally tells me
>call him a faggot for not fucking me
>still have an eighth of the bottle left, can't bring myself to drink it ever again, this is 4 months later
>was both my first time throwing up from booze and my first time getting blackout

>>6682670
>drank half a gallon of vodka
>drank 12 beers
>drank whiskey and Bacardi straight
>got naked in front of my family on accident and accidently elbowed my 21 year old step sister to the ground
>step sister got up and beat the shit out of me
>I was only 16

>>6682804
lel, no. The symptoms you describe can't happen from a single occasion in the late 2nd/early 3rd trimester.
If you make it through the first without poisoning your baby, you're not home free, but the seveere issues are caused early. Which is also where you might not yet know you're pregnant, a neat combination

> new years eve eve
>girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago
>still sad
>friends have alcohol for new years eve
>decide to drink that night also
>there is a mystery drink in an everclear bottle
>friend brought it, nobody in his house knew what it was
>tasted like cider
>really strong cider
>have numerous shots of vodka
>also drinking the mystery cider
>it's time
>get monster out
>mix it with vodka
>tasted so good I had a second drink of it
>sobers me up a little
>we attempt to play a board game
>I start to fall into a more drunken state
>apologize to friends dog for seeing me so drunk
>throw up alot
>tastes like monster
>eventually fall asleep
>my stomach didn't feel right for a week after that

>>6682763
you're not alone by a long long way

>>6682814
saltayyy

>>6688102
You fucking win my son. My sides are in space

>>6682710
Because you don't know how to use commas.

White people name off every single drink they ever had

4 SHOTS OF JAEGER
5 BUDLIGHTS

>>6688951
No, that's not how it works.
If you're already type two chances are that you'll never become type one. You might regress into insulin dependent type two, but type one usually indicates that your pancreas doesn't work at all and was caused by genetics and an environmental trigger.

Type two is usually caused by poor diet and genes, is reversible if you catch it soon enough, and pancreas isn't producing enough for what you eat/your size. On the other hand type two may also be the fact that your body is insulin resistant for some reason, even if your pancreas is fine.
source: bitter type one for 9 years now.

It's a toss-up

>be high school me
>doing shots of smirnoff with my stoner friend in his garage
>sitting down the entire time (about 2-3 hours)
>make it through about 3/4 of the bottle
>stand up to go pee
>blank
>i'm in his bedroom the next day
>faint taste of cigarettes and vomit
>totally damp
>ask him "hey, did I puke?"
>turns out I did, all over myself
>they let me sleep on the porch in the rain for a few hours before his older brother dragged me into the house
>have to walk 8 miles home and go to work with the worst hangover of my life

v.s.

>be high school me again
>cinco de mayo
>lots of tequila and corona
>decide to smoke a little mota (because DUDE MEXICO LMAO)
>world starts spinning
>run to the toilet
>puke constantly for about 45 seconds
>run out of air
>body reflexively inhales
>vom down the trachea
>gagging and choking now
>hendrix.jpg
>manage to finally get a few gasps of air in and survive

>>6690346
Yea, I heard that bit too.

>>6683955
is it an american thing to be a "drinking brag" for simply not vomiting after a couple of beers?
I know I'm a slav but everybody drinks a lot in here and such stories happen after a litre of vodka.

>>6683796
murrica

>drinking a whole bottle of strawberry sidekick liqueur
>friend says maybe I should slow down
>ignore advice
>at club later, in line for bathroom
>suddenly spewing fluorescent pink liquid all over the floor, door and corridor as I go for the bathroom stall
>told that they closed the upstairs bathroom for the entire night
it's a fun story but my stomach has never been quite the same