/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>7242095

>How do I unconstipate myself?

Eat some fucking meat.

eat less insoluble fiber and more soluble fiber.

by my experience

>>7242105
What are some common sources of these, if you don't mind? I'm pretty limited on protein options if I want to stay on point with calories

>>7242095

Drink prune juice, drink a few cups of coffee while smoking a cigarette - guaranteed you will run to the bathroom. Also what works for me every time is drinking 2-3 beers it immediately gets bowels moving.

That is what your dumb hipster ass gets for going against human evolution and being a god damn leaf eater.

Get your bf to fuck you up the ass more often.

>>7242095
Most vegans just get a big fat nigger dick to pump it out for them.

Stop eating peanuts, potatoes and rice.

eat more whole wheat bread.

>>7242108
psyllium husk You can get this powdered fiber at walmart.

I drink a sugar free hot cocoa drink as well. Cocoa powder is about 50% fiber so it's great for digestion.

a few prunes a day will make you nice and regular

Eat more fiber.
Doesn't work, get a bottle of docusate 250mg.
Doesn't work, get some senna 8.6mg.
Doesn't work, get some magnesium citrate.
Doesn't work, get a colonoscopy to make sure no beavers are living in your asshole.

>>7242095
You may just be having trouble digesting all the legumes. This should only be temporary until your gut bacteria adjusts to your new diet. Until then Milk of Magnesia or some Senna Tea will help. Just make sure to take them with plenty of water or they may give you cramps.

most vegans poo way too often. Maybe your "constipation" is a regular cycle.

>being vegan
>getting swole
Choose one.

>>7242095
Balance all those legumes and nuts with more leafy greens.

Broccoli

Prunes

Wheat bran

And do exercise that promote bowel movements

I too struggle with constipation my friend

Eat more fruits, drink more water, eat less fat, and eat less processed foods.
Doing that should help you out.
If you don't know what this means, just eat more potatoes without oil, more oranges and bananas, less packaged shit, less white-bread, and drink tons more water.

t. clean shitting vegan who has dirty shits if he doesn't drink a gallon of water a day

Do some running.

>>7243092
you drink way too much water. Do you drink coffee?

>>7243207
I don't drink coffee at all...I only drink water (pref. distilled) and occasionally juice or plant-milks.
If I don't drink that much my piss isn't clear and my poo sessions degrade in quality. I do eat 4k+ calories a day and live in a warmish climate though.

>>7242165
If the drink has artificial sweetener then that's probably what's making you poop m8

>>7243280
Is this you?

>>7243295
aspartame doesn't make you poo. cocoa powder is very high in fiber, look it up.

vegans are full of shit

don't see anything wrong here

>>7243302
>activated almonds

>>7242185

>get a colonoscopy to make sure no beavers are living in your asshole.

>>7244114
Funny how the "natural flavoring" in some vanilla flavored snacks or whatever is castoreum, and sweet substance that comes from anal glands of beavers

>>7243302
>activated almonds
i remember this gem

A little while ago I munched on a handfull of walnuts before bed and spent most of the next day on the toilet shitting my guts out. So walnuts. Try walnuts.

>>7242095
Usually go twice a day, but seriously have some constipation now. Tried hot baths, massages, liters of prune juice, stool softeners (both oral and suppository), 2 bottles of magnesium citrate, and miralax.

Absolutely fucking nothing, and it's frustrating. I just recently learned about the prescription gallon you drink before a colonoscopy, researched some more, and basically found out it was the same drug as the osmotic laxative miralax with an electrolyte solution so that you don't dehydrate and electrolyte imbalance yourself.

Currently nigger rigging it out of generic miralax and pedialyte (the stuff they give infants who are dehydrated from diarrhea). Gonna down a gallon of it tomorrow. Wish me luck!

>>7243302
In before homemade coconut.

>>7243312
No but there are sweeteners that do. Xylitol, fr.ex.

>>7242095
I've started drinking a liter of water upon waking and I always need to shit immediately after.

Try that.

>>7244762
>tries everything but changing his diet to include meat
Vegans truly are stupid.

>>7244835
I do eat meat, just figured I'd glom onto a constipation thread. It's really a bad sign when you come into the doc, tell him all the shit you're taking, and leave him confused.

dat lubed up finger surprise tho