/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Can we have tubgirl on the napkins?

>>7492131
Sure, why not. Hell, it doesn't even have to be SFW; it could have /e/-tier stuff, considering Hooter's exists.

>>7492118
I'd rather eat at Jacks restaurant.

The pizzas should have pineapple added at random, you don't get to choose if you get pineapple or not, it's like a pizza pineapple lottery. If you pick it off you get banned from 4chan for a few days.

To be fair, I would eat at a restaurant run by Tammy and Jack Jr. Their cooking skills must be exponentially better than Jacks.

We could get a group of volunteers to ban people from the restaurant if they start having too much fun.

>>7492160
>bouncers with NO FUN or similar uniforms
Keep going, this could be interesting. Probably not good, but interesting.

It is compulsory to salt and pepper your food before tasting it.

Every 11th, 22nd, 33rd etc person coming through the door gets dubs

Everyone shouts dubs and they have to pull the Bateman pose and dine with the clear raincoat.

Doubles as a bib for them as we all know the only people that'd eat at a 4chan restaurant aren't going to have decent table manners

Also wouldn't a drive-thru be mandatory to deal with the social anxiety and raw autism from the patrons?

>>7492175
Spaghetti is only item served at the drive through though

>>7492175
As long as the food was placed in a collection box so you don't have to deal with someone handing you food and cooing "have a good day".

>>7492174
Nothing Americans don't already do they have shit taste after all.
>>7492175
Better yet, a tripcode on the receipt. Dubs/trips/etc. get discounts that increase based on the improbability of the result. Quads and higher are preserved on a Wall of Fame, because every kitschy restaurant has one of those.

Tendies from around the world month (they're all the same, just autistically cut to mimic the shapes of countries)
Sriracha posters and tat everywhere
Toilets for male, female and other/kin, the other toilets being bigger, cleaner and include a butler

>>7492118
>you walk in the door of the latest restaurant to open in the trendy part of town - /pleb/
>immediately you are overcome by the smell of doritos and bad decisions
>you begin to wonder if coming here was a bad decision too
>you suspicions are confirmed when a greasy fat guy in a trenchcoat holding a katana approaches, the word "shun" is just visible on the blade
>"table for one?" he mumbles
>"S-sure",
>the man slouches off without a word with the blade over his shoulder, you assume he means for you to follow
>as you walk through the restaurant you glance at the 'memorabila' on the wall
>pictures of various food pyramids, a bowl of rainbow coloured noodles a man stretching his prolapsed anus. Clearly whoever decorated the place was on the spectrum
>you sit down at the table and glance at the drinks menu, you decide on a coke but when you look up you realise your server has disappeared from the table without a word
>you decide to check out the food menu until he returns
>Its an eclectic mix of food, japanese, mac and cheese, french cuisine, pizza. You notice a picture of Chris Hansen peeking out from behind the image of a 4 cheese pizza.
>wiithout announcement a bowl is slid onto the table infront of you
>looks like ramen, the stock sloshes over the sides and onto the tabletop
>"um, thanks" you say in reply, "but i'd like to order a drink first"
>your server nods but otherwise remains motionless
>"just a coke please"
>the man snorts with disdain and waltzes off into the back
>you've had enough and decide to cut your losses, perhaps theres a food truck nearby
>As you're walking out the door you hear your server shout, "pls no"
>it was still better than wendys

If your order gets screwed up, you aren't allowed to send it back. The waiter just blames the Jews.

Any girls who come to the restaurant have to show their tits or leave.

Every hundredth customer has to eat their own cum before they are allowed to order food.

As many things as possible are shaped like dicks.

Black people aren't allowed, unless they wear a mask.

Most of the waitresses are prepubescent girls with no shoes on.

Pic is parking lot

>>7492208
I don't know if that's real or pasta, but whatever it is it's going to be in my nightmares.

"Can I have a large garlic bread to start, please?"

>>7492227
OC buddy, I just typed it up.

Appetizers cost about 3.50 and high end wines cost over 9000

>>7492231
Not bad.

On a side note, is anyone else having trouble with spoiler tags? I'm using ctrl-S and it still isn't working. How else am I going to conceal my terrible puns and pathetic attempts at insults?

>select all images with soup
This captcha gets it.

>>7492236
spoilers don't work on /ck/ friendo

>>7492239
Goddamn it. /tg/, /k/, and /m/ are my homeboards, so I don't know much about /ck/. Guess I'll lurkmoar.

>select all images with sandwiches

Your wife's son eats free

I want all of these pls

>>7492245

>/m/
>homeboard

>>7492245
/k/
So you into BBQ/grilling/smoking?
Gonna do some smoked brisket tomorrow.

Will there be restaurant showers?

>>7492118
If it was like this I would.

>>7492152
god this pic makes me uncomfortable

>>7492397
Makes you feel inadequate, does it?

>>7492415
If that's where your mind went i think you're a bit obsessed with dicks dude

>>7492144
I kek'd really hard at this idea, support

Also this is my contribution to the menu

>>7492397
Delete this plz.
Thanks.

>>7492427
no one said dicks anon.

Cum and laxatives, no thanks.

>>7492628
Farting hot dogs?

The kitchen needs to be staffed by representatives from all the boards.

>/g/ in charge of sous vide.
>/gif/ in charge of sauces.
>/r9k/ in charge of spaghetti and other pasta.
>/pol/ in charge of the ovens.
>/k/ in charge of brownies.