/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I learned that you can't just sub in panko breadcrumbs when a recipe calls for regular breadcrumbs.

never cut jalapenos and then touch your penis

it burns for a really long time

don't shit where you eat

never listen to /ck/

>>8184664
How did you come to that conclusion? I've pan fried sliced salami and it tastes great

Garlic can easily be overcooked and it'll taste like shit

You can use greek yogurt as a low fat thickener, but it needs to be tempured w/ water and added to a pan thats been off heat or else it can curdle.

Never fry squid ink

Dont try to make M&ms melt in your hands.

>>8184664
You're doing it wrong. Get chorizo instead.

Don't make breakfast naked with an erection. Don't cover a pot with oil to speed up the heating.

Creamy tartar sauce isn't quite the same as cream of tartar

>>8184671
>not getting off on the burning pain

Seriously best fap in my life, and I cut up something hotter than Jalapenos.

>>8184664
I learned the value of a mounted Miter saw in the kitchen. Went out and got one today thanks to /ck/, currently saving up for a belt sander.

Be careful when you deep-fry certain frozen items.

Fryers get rowdy sometimes.

>>8184664
Cumin ruins lives

>>8185341
This a perfect example of when to use the Miter saw.

Don't go take a piss when you're heating oil on a malfunctional 'electric plate.
Overall don't use grease without sleeves.
Cheese makes everything better.
>>8185002
Chuckled

Never use a freshly washed wooden spoon when cooking with oil.

>>8185415
Kek'd

Half of Tasty's recipes on YouTube are crap.
Be wary of anything there that uses cream cheese.

Don't break open a coconut using a razor sharp kitchen knife

>>8184664
Try frying chorizo.

>>8187348
At what point did you realize that you were doing a very stupid and dangerous thing?

>>8187888
My cousin lost an arm during a coconut opening accident.

>>8187911
That's bullshit and this time I won't believe it.

Don't set stuff to cook overnight if you have sleep problems and don't own a slow cooker.

>>8187888
When portions of the anatomy that were not meant to be removed, were suddenly squirming on the cutting board.

Fortunately, there were some capable surgeons who were able to reattach, providing some use of the appendages, albeit limited.

>>8187919
>this time

>>8185354
what happened?

>>8188047
I've heard too many bullshit stories that ended up being true. Also I want the world to be more interesting than it actually is even though it means putting my usual skepticism aside.

Don't cook spicy peppers on high heat if your exhaust fan doesn't vent outside. Felt like HCl in my lungs, not fun.

>>8188142
>tfw I got a little Hydrochloric acid in my lungs once

wasn't great

>>8184671
Similar to this anon. I was cutting up some green onions and pepper but after i went to pee, my penor was burning from the inside.

Don't cut things with the knife's sharp edge facing your hand.

Today, fuck off Reddit

I tried cooking Indian food and that had me reciting verses from the Bhagavad Gita the next morning while I was shitting lava out my ass. "Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

>35 replies in
>no "use ice in oil" trolling

Check if someone has left things in the oven before letting preheat at high temps.

>>8184664
Why?

>>8188680
>using ice to cool down your deep fryer
>not frozen cubes of stock, tomato paste or wine

do you even cook? did you even read the sticky?

>>8184670
why not?

>>8184664

If you undercooked something you can always put it back on, if you overcooked it you are fucked

There is a such thing as too much flavor, sometimes subtlety goes far

Seafood can absorb just about any flavor, unlike beef and chicken which have a natural flavor that will always be part of the taste

Presentation is 1/3 the experience of the meal

Not every dish requires meat

Don't try out a new dish when having company, make one of your best that you know well

>>8185354
Cumin is delicios

>>8188821
>>8188901

I'd cumin her if you know what I mean.

>>8185354

And makes babies.

>>8188930
>>8188937


Oy vey

>>8188930
The only thing good about her is her rack. Otherwise get some standards.

>>8188821
>Not every dish requires meat
If there's no source of protein like fish or eggs then it's a waste of a meal.

>>8190607

>Animal products are the only things with protein

I'm not a vegan but that was a stupid post.

>>8185366
>Overall don't use grease without sleeves.

pussy, i love it when the oil sputters all over the place and stings your arms, makes you feel alive you know what im saying?

having sleeves when working in a kitchen is a pain in the ass since you get 10x messier and you have to roll them up if you are going to stick your arms in something

Don't put oil in a cheapass pot without paying attention.

>>8190607

aslong as there are calories in it its worth eating stop being retarded, also beans, legumes, almost all grains contain protein, there is no such thing as a incomplete protein its the biggest meme in the food world the body can and will use all protiens

>>8184735
what happens? Mustard gas?

>>8185354
Wtf is this cumin hate? I made tacos for my friends and when it was time to add the cumin one of them was like "noooo don't use cumin" and I was like "wtf bro it's fucking essential in taco seasoning". I over salted the meat a little but overall it was delicious and my complainer friend even thought it was great.

>This feels like an appropriate enough thread

If the instructions says to use an 8'' square pan can I get away with using an 8'' round pan?

I want to make cornbread from a box of Jiffy corn muffin mix but instructions say use a square pan

ALSO

I have two boxes of the stuff. Could I mix it together and make one huge pan of cornbread?

>>8190726
Well, I mean there are amino acids your body can't produce, so you need to eat those. I'm not sure what a "complete" or "incomplete" protein is but yeah, eating a meal with 0 protein is not going to do any harm to your body and unless you're not eating any protein or not eating the right variety (you definitely don't have to worry about this if you're not vegetarian) you're going to be covered.

>>8184670
>you can't just sub in panko breadcrumbs when a recipe calls for regular breadcrumbs

yes you can, dipshit. you just have to account for the difference in packing efficiency if you're measuring volumetrically. breadcrumbs are all the same, they jut come in different sizes

>>8190846
>If the instructions says to use an 8'' square pan can I get away with using an 8'' round pan?
No problem.

>>8190846
>I have two boxes of the stuff. Could I mix it together and make one huge pan of cornbread?
I do all the time.

>>8190766
Marmite gas

>>8190846
if your circle pan is 8" in diameter then yeah you'll probably be fine, especially if it's taller than the square pan. If it's 8" radius then you'll need something smaller, but i'm 90% sure the circle pans are measured by diameter.

And yes, you can make 2 boxes of cornbread at once, but ideally you'll want something with 128 square inches like a 8x16 or 10x12 rectangular pan, a 32 inch square pan, or or a 12-13 inch circle pan.

>>8185354
>>8190826
they might be talking about cilantro. some eurotrash faggots like to refer to cilantro as cumin because it's the same plant.

ground cumin is fucking delicious but cilantro leaves can taste like soap to some people based on their inferior genetics.

>>8190879

I thought cilantro was coriander?

>>8184671
>>8188299
I did that once. I wanted to make some spicy chili so I went to the farmers market and got some weird looking peppers and fucked a hooker on my way home.

Couple days later I went to make the chili and when I went to pee after chopping vegetables, my wiener felt like it was on fire. That shit lasted for a few weeks. Those spicy peppers were hot!

>>8190890
you might be right. disregard that I suck dicks, senpai

>>8190897

5/10 made me smile

>>8190890
you are correct

>>8190879
>refer to cilantro as cumin because it's the same plant

No, no, no. Coriander is the seed of the cilantro plant. Cumin is an entirely different species.

>>8184995

Smh desu senpai

Dull knife = dull food. I didn't like cooking until I got a sharp knife.

The whole "sharp knife is safer" is still bullshit though.

>>8185002
I remember this thread, it was phenomenal

DO NOT FUCKING PUT HOT LIQUID IN A FUCKING BLENDER

>>8188930
Thanks for the chuckle, senpai.

>>8187348
>kitchen knife
Wrong tool for the job.

>>8191822
No it is not. I use the most basic walmart based and even I can tell you it is far easier to cut with a sharp knife then a dull one. Minimizing the time and effort to do the job directly leads to less accidents.

>>8191822
>The whole "sharp knife is safer" is still bullshit though.
I hope you lose a finger, dumbass.

>>8185354
cumin my mouth every night

>>8184664
>never fry salami

Fried salami is great. I prefer fried pepperoni. Fried just until it is starting to get crispy. Not just pepperoni slices, but the stick of pepperoni that I cut up into 1/4" thick, 3" long, 1" wide slabs. Also, if you are making pepperoni rolls, pre-frying the pepperoni until just becoming crispy then putting it into the dough for baking is way better.

>>8185354
You need to use it in a mix then. Try 1 part cumin, 1 part red pepper powder, and 2 parts black pepper. Normally, people use way too much cumin and the house will smell like a gym locker after a gay orgy.

>>8187348
>>8187888
>>8187911
>>8188016
>>8187919
>>8188047
>>8188084
>>8191889
Webm for you. Filename.

Make sure your not using a shitty a plastic cup to put a hot beverage in.

>>8192057
Holy fuck that was terrifying to watch.

>>8192057

What is she doing?! Why?!

>>8188692

Is this a thing? Do Europeans actually have even non police agencies raiding their homes for things as oblique as "fire safety"

>>8191899

yeah he would- from a sharp knife

meanwhile in dull knife town he'd go "oh shit" and have a peck that didn't even bleed

>>8188821
is that jack nicholson in the background

>>8185415
Could you elaborate on that one?

>>8184671
i mean the initial shock is unpleasant, but once it gets into that gentle warming stage it feels fantastic.

>>8191845
Uh, you can do that.
You just have to crack the lid a little, or leave the filler cap off. It just needs to not be completely sealed.

>>8190944

Fun fact, the reason why it's called cilantro in America is because Coriander in Italian is "cilantro" since Americans were introduced to the plant by the Italian migrants.

>>8184671
The real danger is cutting peppers and picking your nose. Fuck that.

>>8184664
>Greek yogurt is a great sub for mayo in tuna salad
>Hot cereal tastes better with a pinch of salt
>Soups and stews really do taste better the next day

>>8192690
Also pasta, dont forget pasta.

>>8184671
I've done this too many times with habanaros. In my eyes more than my dick though

>>8192266
I once cooked at my hungarian friend's place who kept plastic bags in his oven, but i forgot to check. Also his gas stove was randomly inspected and removed since it isnt legal to have a gas stove in a oneroom apartment.

>>8185005
trips don't lie!

>>8192741
what?

>>8188821
>DAAAaaaYUM! Eating pizza with a knife & fork???

But the not trying out a new dish on company is sage advice. Unless that's part of the event...

>>8192057
Anticiiiiiiiiii- - - -paaaaaation!

>that look on the observer chick's face cracked me up... "This can't end well."

>>8192556
You mean spanish. Cilantro in italian is coriandolo

I used a Cast Iron skillet that weighed more than my arm on an electric stove top and put olive oil and made eggs.

Then used soap and water and let it soak before having to use a steel wool to clean it.

Still cry about it :(

>>8192057
>normally people will use too little cumin and the house won't smell like a locker room after a gay orgy

When does anyone EVER use enough cumin? If cumin isn't in the name of the dish, the cook probably wimped out.

>>8184664
cook bacon, fry eggs in grease = nom

cook breakfast sausage, fry eggs in grease = the worst fucking eggs you've ever seen....

>>8185354
i dont understand this one bit

maybe perhaps perchance you dont know how to to use cumin

>>8190846
Cornbread is easy enough to make
Seems like it's just flour, corn meal and baking powder mixed in a bag

Don't pour milk into burning oil.

>>8192100

God, when I lived in Russia this shit was everywhere, you'd order a small tea at a kiosk and they handed you boiling water in a fucking Dixie cup. The Russians were used to it, of course, I always looked like the retarded American running to find a ledge to set it down on. Way too fucking hot.

>>8184664
today i learned that rolled, damp newspaper can substitute a proper leather strop in a pinch.

>>8194428
>''''''''''enough'''''''''' cumin

i recognize the words individually but when you string them together it just sounds like static

>>8194661
Such a thing as enough cumin exists anon. Trust me. I once tried baking a bread with cumin instead of flour. Didn't come out so good.

>>8194675
your reply

>>8194675
leavened or unleavened?

>>8194625
Pretty much. Different levels of cornmeal to flour depending on how anal you are. Mix with egg and milk, salt and pepper. Bake at 400F for 15-20 minutes in cast iron skillet and you've nailed it.

>>8188821
WHO THE FUCK EATS DINNER AT 4:30PM

>>8192316
Water + oil = bad
Wooden spoons absorb water.

>>8194786
Presumably people who have other things planned.
They're eating out anon, you're not so autistic you demand to stick to your mommies daily schedule every single day, are you?

>>8192266
In the US you can be as irresponsible as you like, as long as you have insurance. The threat of being sued to the eyeballs and having to fight for an insurance policy is what that country considers an incentive to behave responsibly.

The rest of the world I can't speak of, but in the UK and probably the whole EU; a great many government and even non-government agencies acting under license may not be denied access to a private residence if it's for their specific purpose. The fire brigade can justify a spot-check and so can the gas company because fire can kill everybody, not just the idiots that cause them. Less space between homes and denser populations on average create these conditions.

>>8192057
What show?

>>8190879
That must be your inferior intelligence speaking.
Cumin and cilantro are completely different.
Also, it's not inferior genetics that makes people taste the nasty aldehydes in cilantro - it is actually the addition of a rare gene.

>>8194914
Does it make you feel better about yourself to treat other anonymous people like garbage on the internet? I'm detecting a lot of hate from you anon, perhaps you should look in the mirror.

I learned when cooking meat in a pan, let the pan get hot first. Put meat(and maybe even eggs) in a cold pan and it will heat up at the same time as the surface it's touching which make it stick to the pan. I test the temperature by putting a drop of water in the pan and seeing if it evaporates quickly to know it's ready.

>>8188821
>phone on the table
shes not that interested m8
either way fuckin' dropped. rude cunt.

>>8194976
you're almost correct. the pan is hot enough when you put a teaspoon of water onto the cooking surface and it forms into a little ball and rolls around like a marble in the pan.

the pan is TOO HOT if the water violently explodes and splatters everywhere when you drop it in.

>>8184671
I once put hot sauce on my dick and had a crazy urge to jack off. I didn't, though. I kind of regret not doing it.

>>8184671
You think that's bad, try touching your vagina. My boyfriend can and has dipped his penis in milk when he's an idiot. When I'm an idiot I just have to curl into a ball and cry.

>>8195083
Hot sauce =/= vagina good feeling

Milk on penis ??? vagina
Completely unknown in the literate world

>Yes, I understand this isn't so much cooking as just being lazy
Things most people use a toaster for:
Toast
Poptarts

Things I've learned go just fine in a toaster, provided I clean it twice as often:
Frozen/Leftover patty-style foods, including chicken-fried steak and hash browns
Frozen/Leftover breaded damn near anything else that'll fit
Hot Dogs and other sausages

Tastes better and has a crisper texture than reheating or defrosting/heating in a microwave. Doesn't take remotely as long as preheating and making in an oven.

>>8188821
Her tits are almost all visible. What the fuck is this? Fucking westerners.

>>8192057
I must balance the negative energy of that webm. I bring you this.
https://youtu.be/JQU6o4ooL5E

>>8195450
Get fucked weeb.

>>8195219
>hash browns
I love popping a couple of those hashbrown patties in the toaster when I'm lazy or just want a quick breakfast or whatever. works great

>>8192690
yogurt (greek or bulgarian) is also a great additive to olivier salad. makes it tastes much lighter and nicer than if it's only made with mayonaisse.
>>8184664
you can't cook brown rice the way you'd cook white rice.

i'm a poorfag though, so i'm stuck eating it for three days straight. thank fuck i put in peas, mushrooms, peppers and tomato sauce to give it a decent taste. that and lentil soup

>>8195060
Why don't you try it again?

>>8184671
I put season salt on my peen when i was a kid. It hurt for days.

>>8192662
>Cutting jalapenos and get something in your eye
>Not thinking, you touch your eye
NEVER AGAIN

>>8195083
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>8195083
If both of you have independently burned your genitals with jalapenos, I sincerely hope that it destroyed your ability to reproduce.

>>8196326
Sorry, anon, but it hasn't. We've learned to use gloves when cutting peppers, though, so maybe there's still hope for our species.