/ck/ - Food & Cooking

literally me. I know how much goofy shit like saying its free if something wont scan at the grocery store pisses off wagecucks

>work at Subway
>overweight customer tries making small talk
>"Ha-haha i heard that Jared guy sure liked to eat fresh"
>half-winks
>grimace/laugh and give him his chicken bacon ranch melt

happens about 3-4 times a week

>>8636155
Kek that must've been funny the first couple of times at least

>>8636155
>Behind fat guy at subway
>He orders double meat, shitton of mayo and oil.
>"Ha-ha Jared lost a lot of weight doing this!"

When I walk into 7-11 at midnight I always comment to the employee's about how
nice it is they stayed open past closing time.
Triggers the wagecucks into a frenzy.

>>8636125
>>8636179
Kys

>okay that'll be $7.24
>customer digs for change
>shit I don't have 24 cents
>gives a $10 or whatever
>give them their change
>HAHA NOW I DO :^)
Every goddamn day. Fucking end me.

I wonder how often a fast food cashier actually wants someone to have a nice day instead of burning in hell

>>8636186

>>8636238
Jokes on them I never told them to have a nice day in the first place

>>8636111
>Be a host
>Couple walks in at late hours
>"We're a party of 25"
>"HAHAH JUST KIDDING it's us 2"

Another five guys story
>guy orders burger
>cautiously observes the entire burger making process
>makes a scene and tells us we're gonna overcook it and ruin it
>wants it rare
>"sorry sir we are obliged to cook our patties fully though and well done"
>starts unintelligibly rambling and storms out without even getting his food
Why are you rarefags like this? Especially in a fast food establishment. Do you really want uncooked meat from a place thay doesn't grind their own meat, and uses meat that has been move all over the country?

>>8636263
>being a male hostess

>>8636221
lol gonna start doing this one

>>8636302
When you in a small establishment you got no choice sometimes. Rent doesn't pay its self

>>8636111
>tfw realize that we are the other two guys

>>8636297
>Why are you rarefags like this? Especially in a fast food establishment. Do you really want uncooked meat from a place thay doesn't grind their own meat, and uses meat that has been move all over the country?
I'd rather have a nicely cooked burger using safe meat. But I wouldn't expect that's possible in a normal fast food chain, even a relatively expensive one like Five Guys. Dude probably had mental illness or impairment. A normie rarefag would have asked for it rare when he placed the order, then stormed out before paying.

>hugely fat person comes to the counter a pile of garbage like Breyers 'frozen dairy desert', microwave dinners, frozen pizzas, pringles, etc.
>want to say something put of genuine empathy, to steer them away from this dark path
>decide it's not worth it
>wish them a nice day with a smile

every time

>>8636111
>order from 5 guys online, late
>we go to pick it up
>spouse goes inside to get it
>has to wait while the fries are made (it's okay, I'd rather eat hot fries than cold, limp fries)
>there's only one other table inside with 3 people, it's like 5 minutes from closing time
>guy from the table gets up and walks to the counter and is standing next to my 6'1 spouse.
>spouse is dwarfed by him by like, half
>realize it's a member of the local NBA team
>DAAAAAAAAAAMN, that's cool.
>spouse brings order out, says "I purposely tipped $10 bucks while he was standing there, so maybe he'll tip them more."
>mfw life is nice
>also, the burger was delicious, and so was the grilled cheese (Hamburger all the way, and grilled cheese with tomatoes and grilled onions).

>>8636111
>where are the other two?

The burger and fries :^D

>>8636389
She bout to get BLACKED

>>8636363
:(

>>8636389
Good guy anon. And five guys grilled cheeses are pretty based. They use mayo to butter the bread and it adds some nice tang to the sandwich.

>>8636402
Do you mean *He* about to get blacked? Because I think not, he's all about the pink.

>>8636410
Yeah, that was the first time I'd tried the grilled cheese, I think it'll be a regular order for me, when we eat there. Pretty sweet.

>>8636389
>>8636410
Forgot to add that you can add a patty (or two) to he grilled cheese and make it a party melt. You don't have to worry about it being a hassle or anything for the register since there's an *add patty* option.

>>8636186

>>8636419
Hmmmmm, very intriguing. Might have to try that next time. Although I do like the burgers too.
Can you get a grilled cheese all the way plus an extra patty? (which I realize would basically make it a burger, but with grilled toast instead of a bun, which sounds pretty good).

>>8636424
Yup you can get any toppings.

>>8636389
This is why women shouldn`t post. What a fucking boring, unneccesary post.

>>8636178
My fat fuck friend today who's asking me for weight loss advice asked me if subway sandwiches were healthy.

>"I heard the owner of subway lost a ton of weight eating subway every day!"
>"It's still not good for you man... At least just don't put any mayo/cheese on it"
>No reply

I swear, fat fucks don't stay fat because of their genetics. THEY HAVE NO FUCKING DISCIPLINE.

>>8636457
You do realise you`re replying to a landwhale, right? lmao

>Work at a hotel
>Every time I check someone in they have to sign a form that says they can't smoke or bring in pets
>At least once a day some dipshit has to ask "DOES MY WIFE/HUSBAND/CHILD COUNT AS A PET HURR HURR
>Pretend smile and die a little more inside

>>8636462
Regardless, I made my point

>>8636221
I dont get it

>>8636453
This

>>8636474

>>8607910

She`s absolutely obsessed with grilled cheese. As you said, no discipline. Stuffing her fat face with fucking grilled cheese (no real cheese so cheese dip ahahaha) at 2am

She must stink so bad, fucking grilled cheese fanny farts oh my lord have mercy

>>8636464
Working low level customer service jobs just makes you realize how many people suck and rehash trite expressions. Bet they go on later in the day bragging to their friends about the "hilarious" exchange.

>>8636453
I was wondering why I didn't get this post, the spouse is the husband not the wife.

>>8636485
He now has change

>>8636179
Do they behead you?

>>8636453
>>8636490
>>8636531
>le women xD

>>8636111
>work at Chipotle
>been a busy week, not the happiest corporate slave
>ring a guy up
>"Would you like anything else with your chicken bowl?"
>snarkily responds "How about a smile?"
>curve the corners of my mouth up while trying to telepathically set him and myself on fire
>"Thank you, have a nice day."
I don't think I'm gonna make it my guys

>>8636677
Clearly serving customers is not for you

>>8636686
you're right, it's probably not. But that's not a thing to ask any person working retail, I think. No matter what the smile and warmth will come out forced. But I don't think they do it for the smile, these types, they do it because you have to smile.

>>8636389
subscribed

man you guys are gonna hate the real world after high school, better grow some thicker skin pretty quick

>>8636111
$11.39? Fuck, what did he buy, one small fries?

>>8637095
Its /pol/ speak for white supremecy or something

>>8636412
How do you keep your boipucci so pink? Bleach?

>>8636221
Why the fuck do people do this? When I was a cashier I'd purposely slow down the transaction just for this reason. But somehow people always managed to get that 24 cents after I closed the drawer.

>>8636111

>Couple walk in
Would you like a bag for that?
No thanks I've got one already
>Husband motions to his wife

baka

>>8636677
Why do you do these shitty food service jobs when factory assembly work pays more and you dont have to talk to anyone?
I dont get it. I thought shitty fast food jobs were reserved for illegal aliens and 16 year old kids who can not reason yet?

>>8636310
Post feet.

>>8636297
All burgers should be cooked through

>>8636677
Get a security license

If people actually get offended or angry by these little things, they deserve it. I encourage you to be as annoying as possible so these subhuman retards will out themselves. Fast food places tend to be a hive of these types of people.

>>8637347
>establishing dominance in a fast food restaurant
Kek

>>8637243
great dad boner joke.. would of laughed / 10

>>8637374
>would of

>>8636389
>spouse
I should have known to stop reading there. Please never post again

>>8637347
>being unironically mean in 2017

>>8636389
>tipped
lel

>>8636533

Who does?

>>8636238
it is usually just indifference.
there is occasional hate but usually I just don't care

>>8637199
That's not what I meant, anon. They would be just making a dumb joke that because of the change received from the transaction they NOW have change they needed before.

What you said also fucking happens though, and I completely agree. I'd also slow down the transaction.
Towards the end of my cashier position, I'd stop giving a fuck. So many times did I see the disappointment on their faces as large amounts of change poured out of the change machine right as they pull change out of their pocket.
Should've looked for change while you were dicking around on your phone in line.

>>8637243
>Would you like a bag for that?
Holy shit. I hope I never have to ask this again, just because so many people would act like I just asked them the final question of a game show and they'd stare off into space as if they forgot their reasons for living.

>>8636677
>not replying with a "sorry sir we don't serve those" and smiling at your own joke
fucking normie get out reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>"that'll be $9.88, sir"
>hand over a ten
>make sure they notice I put the 12 cents loudly in tip jar
>with a wink I say "don't spend it all in one place!"
HURDEEHURHUR
>mfw it gets them every time and we get to share a midday chuckle

>cashier gives me change
>no tip jar
>take-a-penny/leave-a-penny
>its basically full
>go through my change and spend too much time putting all of the pennies in it (4 at max)
>cashier laughs
It's a weird feel.

>>8636506
You did a shit job of trolling her you absolute faggot fuck you i didn't need to see some attention whores thread get away with babby level trolling.

Not quite the same but

>Work in kitchen at japanese restaurant

>get tons of orders for edamame

>later doing dishes and so many of them haven't even been touched

why do motherfuckers order food and not eat it?

>>8639205
They don't realize it's fucking soybeans

>>8636389
That literally went fucking no where. I should have looked at the replies first.

>>8636399
we need more cuteposting like this

>>8639205

My job has daily soup and chili (It's frozen in this block, it's gross but i digress)

Y'all know how many times I go to grab dishes and find a bowl of chili or soup half-touched? Like if y'all just wanted half the sandwich, order the full thing and take the other half home/give it to the homeless dude outside/take it to the office. It literally costs the exact same.

>>8637111
kys yourself

>>8638032
Cry more faggot

>>8636238
Unless they're old or cute, I don't really care.

>>8636389
Was it because he was black?

>>8637506
I worked in retail for a spell, an outdoors store -- the employees and many of the clientele were naturally on the eco-friendly side of things, and didn't always buy a hundred small things that needed to be bagged. Anyways.. It was hilarious to see the gears turn in some people's heads if you asked them if they would like/wanted/needed a bag for a shoebox, pair of gloves, 1 shirt, a carabiner or anything. It's like you just reset their brain by asking if their presumed routine of checking out could be a bit different. Like, they wouldn't have thought twice if I just threw it in a bag and handed it to them, but asking if they needed a bag to carry something like a water bottle (something that's made to be carried in your hand!!) just fucks with them. I always did internally applaud the ones that ones that realized no, they didn't NEED a bag to carry something 40 feet to their car.

On that note:
>you need a bag for this shoebox?
>nah, save a PLASTIC tree ;)
>hehe... (for the 100000000th time)

Or:
>buys a backpack
>you need a bag
>a bag for my BAG HaHa!! No, that's okay
>smiles...
>they walk out the door
>shut the fuck up.

>>8636155
lol is that a pedo joke?

>>8636677
lol that's actually pretty good. I'm keeping all of these snarky comments in the back of my mind.

>>8637553
lol this thread is like
>How to be a cheeky fuck: 101

>>8639605
It sounds like something a grandpa would say with a wry smile that would help turn anons day around. At least that's how I hope it goes. If I don't die young and miserable as I am now I want to be an old cheeky cunt regular at a coffee shop or hardwear store that pulls this kind of shit with the kids.

>>8636363
i feel this so much, i'm glad i don't work at target anymore

>work at a fast food place
>customer asks me what I think they should get
>don't know what to say because I don't eat anything there

>>8636677
They only assign girls and gays to the cashier because the other jobs are too hard for them. So which are you?

>>8639302
Damn

>>8639224
It says so on the consarned menu

>3/5ths of the staff
>not demanding to pay only 3/5ths the price

If they dispute it, say it was only made with 3/5ths the love.

>>8639895

What if the year is 1860, the store is in Baton Rouge and the 3 staff members are black?

>>8636179
3rd shift at a convenience store is fucking awesome since it's just cleaning, a bit of stocking, and chilling in between customers. i did it for a year and the most i had in the store was maybe three customers at a time, all trying to buy beer

>>8636521
maybe. but i think a lot of people tell those jokes because they've heard them before and think it's the socially approved small talk between a service rep and a customer. it's like talking about the weather or something

>>8639973

>when a year of your life is based on the film Clerks

>>8639983

A lot witty people are liars. We make you think that we come up with jokes off the top of our heads, but the funniest things we say come from a joke backlog that we create in our spare time. When the right time presents itself we break out our jokes and impress everyone. Then there are some exceptional people who can come up with clever shit in an instant, but they're truly exceptional.

The people who repeat shit jokes everyday are non-witty people trying to be funny in order to impress those around them in order to gain higher social standing.

>>8637468
The customer you stupid bastard.

>go to taco bell
>fat guy walks in
>gets naked chalupa box
>i dont want any lettuce or tomato

>>8640048
>walk out of taco bell
>some guy keeps spitting his drink back into his cup and then keeps doing the same thing over and over

>>8640048
Is that literally just fried chicken with sour cream on it or something?

>mfw people working low end customer service jobs think they have the standing to look down on anyone

Really tickles the neurons.

>about to leave wendys
>see some guy with dumbbells working out

>>8636521
>work in ticketing
>small event, volunteers on the gate
>walk out of the venue for some reason
>walk back in
>"haha can I see your ticket please sir"

>>8637419
This desu

>be at coldstone first time there get some change
>it's like 65 cents max drop it in the tip jar.
>all the workers start signing looking at me with hate filled eyes

I didn't know but they have to sing when someone puts anything in the tip jar. I felt like a fucking ass.

>>8639972
Then:

>does math

..."Where are the 3.2 other guys!?!"

>>8640089
it's like going to chik-fil-a where they have to respond with "my pleasure" if you thank them. i just started saying "thank you" after everything thing they said

>>8640027
Remember that time in jr/high school you came up with something you thought was truly witty in front of a friend and then two minutes later he says the exact same thing and makes 8 other people laugh...?

>>8639972
I wonder why the devil I'm in the negro district and get back in my carriage.

>>8640065
look at fuckin Johnny Can-I-Speak-With-A-Manager over here

>working at mongolian grill where we cook shit on the big grill in front of customers

>im white as fuck
>guy standing there with his girlfriend says "HEY THIS IS MONGOLIAN GRILL RIGHT. YOU DONT LOOK MONGOLIAN TO ME!"
>laughs

>ask if hes been accepted into Mensa yet

>>8640048
Not the worst. Could have been:

>go to taco bell
>fat guy walks in
>gets naked
>chalupa box i dont want any lettuce or tomato

>>8636464
I usually hate shit like this, but one time I was clearing plates from my table and asked if I could move anything else out of the way for them. One of the guys motioned towards his wife and I started cackling, legitimately could not hold my laughter in

I bought him a beer

>>8640179
you didn't say that

>>8639205
Same here. We sell them like crazy and no one eats them

>>8640214
Yeah, I mean all you do is boil them for a few minutes and serve them salted

But it's the waste in principle that bothers me. Not to mention the sauce that goes with them is a fucking bitch to clean out of the dishes

>>8640235
What sauce do 6ou mae? Something with siracha?

>>8640235
What sauce do you make? Something with siracha?

>>8636464
>tfw checking in with sub to do kinky shit
>tfw want to make a joke like this
>tfw chicken out every time

>>8640209
you didn't post that

>>8640266
Nay, just a simple peanut stuff

Thick as fuck and sticky

Truth be told I don't know where the fuck the sauces come from or what's in them, but we have a gyoza sauce that's delicious. I put it on pretty much everything I eat there except the gyoza since they're such a small portion comparatively

>>8636111
>not ducking behind the counter, putting on a fake mustache and popping back up
it's like you don't like tips

>>8640699
Kek or put on blackface

>>8636564
Not an argument

>>8641394
And yours is?

>>8641417
Yes. His point was that women are fucking boring and should refrain from posting, and he supported his point by referring to that meaningless, non-contributing post which was clearly written by a woman.

>>8641427
Keep getting women with that attitude, studs. It was a stupid post but you can just ignore it. Not make a big deal about it like a baby.

>>8641465
>Not make a big deal about it like a baby.

That irony.

>>8641465
Every time a woman says "that's not going to get you laid" or "you're such a virgin", it just proves that sex is the only thing a woman has to offer.
Can't wait to see more of those strong female argumentative skills.

>>8641493
wew, that's a hard one to recover from lad.

>>8641493
Kek
2/10 for getting a (You)

>>8641516
not an argument

>>8641465

Nobody has to care about winning women on an anonymous image board, so we can point out bad posts with complete impartiality and also deduce the post ability of women in general without them getting the pussy pass.

Doesn't mean this principle should be applied to real life though if you want to get laid.

>>8641523
No point in arguing with someone who has a deluded view of women.
>>8641526
True, but when all these different people make a deal about in a completely unrelated thread, as if it ruined their thread "purity", chances are those views are reflected in real life.

>>8641549
Sweetie, I think you made a mistake. This is 4chan, not tumblr.

>>8641549

True enough, its all shitposting right now anyway

>>8640089
Read that initially and thought you meant they started using sign language while silently glaring at you

>>8641555
Kek yeah I'm aware, /ck/ usually isn't too bad though

>work at fancy chocolate shop
>not uncommon for people to purchase goods with $50 $100 bills
>required to use counterfeit marker on higher bills
HAHA I JUST GOT FINISHED PRINTING THEM from the men
WELL I JUST GOT THAT FROM THE BANK, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT from the women
>required to ask for ID if credit cards aren't signed
HAHA FORGOT TO ASK THE GUY I ROBBED FOR HIS LICENSE *GIGGLEGIGGLE* - from the men
WELL ITS MY CREDIT CARD WHY DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU MY ID?? *always snatch license back* - all the women

If there are any ladies in the thread: please chill the fuck out, you don't have to be so uppity all the time

>>8641569
Please go back to whatever padded safe space you came from, newfag.

>>8641593
>calling people newfags
First sign of an actual newfag. I've been on and off 4chan for like 6 years. Emphasis on the "off" part.

>>8641607
You are the working definition of a newfag aka anyone who came here between 2008-2011, the next era is reddit 2011-2014, then cancer 2014-2015, then whatever you call the end of any last vestige of 4chan when the election coverage started and all boards were flooded with new reddit children.

>>8641593
>>8641607
Can you two exchange emails and go have this cringey pissing contest somewhere else?

>>8641607
>only 6 years
>not a newfag
kek, go fuck yourself. Chanology killed this fucking website, the fappening/GG dug it back up, and the election raped its corpse.

>>8641630
>>8641641
t. 4chan historians
Oh no, I'm exactly what's wrong with 4chan? Boohoo

>>8641587
>please chill the fuck out, you don't have to be so uppity all the time

>CHOCOLATE shop

gee i wonder what has them so high strung

>>8641646
You're the one complaining about people acting like they're on 4chan while posting on 4chan.

>>8636453
You're a faggot. Not everything has to be aggravating. That was a nice read. Get cucked, fuccboi.

>>8636111
>work at walmart
>"did you find everything you needed today"
>"I havent found a million dollars yet"
and
>item doesnt ring up
>"I guess its free"

stop

>>8641955
Nice Facebook meme, wagecuck.

newfag is anyone post 2007. 2007 is the cutoff for newfags. it doesn't change.

oldfags are from before 2005

2008-2011 is cancer, 2011-2014 is reddit, 2014-2017 is tumblr / facebook
and if you don't samefag to win arguments you're literally never going to make it

>>8636178
So i lost a bunch of weight with weight watchers (40lbs) and a subway sandwich with double meat was a staple of mine.

The mayo is bad, but it's not the end of the world considering other fast food options.

>>8637325
Objectivley wrong dumb child

>>8641990
this^

>>8641990

>>8642006
eh not bad

>>8642006
What if I started lurking in 2005, but didn't start posting regularly until 2007?

>>8642006

>started luring 4chan when I was 15 in 2005
>10 years have passed, I'm still fucking here

Where did it all go so wrong

>>8642018

You shouldn't be posting before at least a year of lurking anyway. You're clear.

>>8642087
12 years

>>8636111
Wow you guys charge $11.39 for a bad joke.
Just like your mom.

>>8640179
>tfw youre in mensa and crack retarded jokes like that all the time

>>8637325
this

rare burgers are a dumb meme by steak plebs

a real burger is too thin to really cook rare anyway

>>8642097

I feel a little better knowing that I've moved away from boards like /co/, /fit/, and /pol/ (once known as /new/) and onto places like /k/, /lit/, and /ck/.

It's just a shame that I'm still on this website in the first place.

>>8642130
I started on /b/, moved onto /v/ after the Chanology newfag flood, came to /ck/ in 2010, and /tv/ in 2012. Now those latter three boards are the only ones I use. I guess I used to browse /s/ a lot during my /b/ days, too.

>>8636155
"haha yeah he has pretty good taste"

>>8641943
>a nice read

No, it objectively wasn't. Stupid fucking white knight.

>>8636297
>cautiously observes the entire burger making process
Never worked fast food or even in a kitchen but this shit just pisses me off when I see people do this. I could never work somewhere like 5 guys or subway where the people watch over you making the food.
It's like if you want it cooked the way you want make the shit yourself. You're at a restaurant, let the cooks make it how they want.

>>8636389
lol women suck so fucking much. I bet you tell this to all your hog friends over a bottle of cheap wine each, you whore.

>>8643617
They're just making sure you don't spit in it.