/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9109314
When I was in 10th grade we'd walk down the aisles at safeway and throw jerky/chips/poptarts in the backpack of whoever was in front.
Eventually they caught on and some other kids got in trouble. We were smart enough to quit while we're ahead.

This is a board about food and cooking, stupid fuck.

>>9109317
My best friend in junior high used to bring a plastic grocery bag into the store and just walk around filling it up with goodies, whistling the whole time to act inconspicuous, and then just walk out with a full bag.
He did it like 50 times until the manager stopped him at the door and he ran away.
Miss that guy, he ended up going to prison years later for hitting and killing a toddler while driving his ATV drunk out at the lake.

Sometimes I'll snag a few peanuts or pieces of candy, especially if I'm high or drunk. I also rang up cashews as peanuts at the self check out register.

>buy organic vegetables at self-checkout
>enter them in as regular produce

>>9109327
>not carrying a random reciept to flash at the employees
Also I hope your friend gets raped with a broken bottle for killing a toddler

>>9109336
>he doesn't ring up steaks using the code for bananas

>>9109338
The toddler actually fell off the back of the ATV directly in front of him on the trail. The parents shouldn't have been so fucking stupid.
He only got time because he was slightly over the limit, not that he could have avoided the kid anyways.

>>9109340
Seriously though, do they have any kinda of checks in place to stop everyone doing this?

Stole a block of parm and a half stick of pepperoni. Bought a pack of cigs to look normal.

>>9109359
walmart usually has a wagecuck watching over all the self checkouts but I bet you can still get away with it.

I've neglected to correct errors. The biggest one, I didn't notice until I got home, was when a weird cashier at Trader Joe's who spoke like Fred Rogers charged me for only one hand of bananas when I got several. I didn't see him there again. I've since found cheaper banana suppliers.

Hunger as a kid/teenager until we discovered food banks.

My sister and I used to grab a drink and walk around drinking it, than just discard it in an aisle. Always worked but we stopped because we felt bad and we got old enough to realize that it wasn't worth getting not only fined but getting our asses beat if we got caught.

>be at work
>have leftovers from a fundraiser luncheon
>"Cans of pop in employee fridge: donate 50c to the charity before drinking!"
>Get to work pretty early, thirsty for a pop
>Take can of diet Pepsi without donating 50c

Please merciful god forgive me

>>9109314
I have when i've been really drunk. One time I stole a bunch of stupid shit from the mall next to me and got a haircut.

Maybe a year ago I stole a ton of candy bards from a black-owned jewel in chicago because it was piss easy and no one gave a damn.

I still shoplift to this day...There's a knack to it that you learn overtime. You gotta fit in and this involves research into what the average shopper wears. Never lift from the one shop over and over,move around and have a cycle of stores so that you can go back to the same store a month or so later and not get recognised.

You might need props as well depending on where you're at. If you're stealing liquor,it's best to have a sort of casual Saturday night in look so people just think your buying wine for the wife. Also,trucker hats help for when you're in DIY stores.

You gotta learn where all your cameras are. If you're branching out to a new shop,go to it a couple times as a customer (changing clothes each time) pick up items and pretend to be reading the ingredients but actually be scanning the area for cameras. Always have a mental note of what you want when you enter a store. Never steal too much and most importantly,NEVER EVER steal the same item over and over again. Always steal different things everytime you go in.

I pay for big stuff. But canned food,spices,packaged food and drinks I always steal. I've been moving onto clothes and shoes the past couple years and gradually improving. I save on average $1,800 every year

>>9109376
Are you me?

>>9109355
Oh in that case it's not his fault but still drinking and driving is illrgal for a fucking reason

>>9109359
The machines have built in weights and shit and know what you're ringing up when you set them on the scale.
The ringing up organic and regular works like a charm though. Been doing it for years.

>>9109391
But it's an ATV

>>9109393
>>>9109393
>he doesn't casually push his pinky on the scale to make weight

>>9109376
You're a nigger but it's okay because capitalism is shit.
If you steal from mom & pop stores you deaerve to be drawn and quartered though.

>>9109393
>he doesn't take fancy items and slap cheap alternative stickers over them
Pleb

>>9109336
this is how white people shoplift.

>buy organic heirloom tomatoes in december
>enter code for red delicious apples

>>9109374
>Diet
You're beyond redemption.

I used to steal the cans and bottles from the recycling at my work and get the deposit for them. Used to make like $400 a month until they sent a memo to staff that they were installing cameras in the kitchen.

>see there is a craft beer shipped to the store in cases
>store unpacked about half the cases and left the others on the floor as the base of a display
>notice the UPC for the 6 pack is also printed on each case
>took a case up to check out and it rang up for $8
>got 24 bottles of craft beer for $8

>>9109314

Kinda. Went to college in a part of NY that's very affluent and surrounded by A LOT of commercial stripmalls. Used to go to Hotels pretending I was a guest and eat their continental breakfast(s) on rotation. There are 30+ hotels within a 15min drive of my college apartment...so doing this for 4 years wasn't complicated.

Wagecuck clerks and concierges were too afriad to lose their jobs than confront me. The ONE TIME someone confronted me I pretended to be on the phone and didn't even turn in their direction.

Used to take cereal, yogurts, juices, milks and fruit in an empty messenger bag with me before I left. Always a good time.

Courtyard Marriot, Poughkeepsie was and always will be my favorite place to score free breakfast, haven't done it in a decade though.

>>9109469
Smart. I'm sure you dressed the part too. Good for you. You were getting completely fucked over by the price of university so take some of it back from the kind of people that are giving themselves tax breaks now at our expense.

>>9109688

I come from affluence myself and never paid a dime for education, that's what parents are for. At 33yo I've already saved enough for both of my children to earn PhD degrees, plus 8 years room/board/entertainment. Going to College on borrowed money is retarded.

When I was a broke ass college student I'd steal 30 packs of beer and spices.

>>9109711
>that's what parents are for
Spoken like a true spoiled prick

>>9109720

>having weak parents who can't provide for their offspring.

Awful...just, awful...

>>9109314
>supermarket comes up with this bullshit new system in wich you grab this hard disk with a button when you enter and must press it next to these computers wich will tell you what line to get into or something
>its bullshit
>nobody understands it
>anything with a tag gets redirected to the self checkout
>like ten empty lines
>line of 10 people in self check out
>fuck you
>dont know how to use self check out
>think it only for the object with the tag
>in this case vodka
>scan my vodka and go pay for it with the ticket the machine printed
>have to do the line again, first line was for scanning
>my turn they only charge me the vodka
>could have said something but fuck that supermarket
>ended up paying less than half of my total purchase

>>9109375
did you pay for the haircut?

>>9109720
this is why you are poor

>>9109314
as a kid i used to ride my bike to vons grocery store and would order a bag of potato wedges for like $2.40/pound at the deli and i'd order a pound of tendies(like $6) and put the tendies in the bag of wedges and throw the other bag away in an empty aisle. did that a bunch of times, cashier couldn't tell the difference.

>>9109314
I used to be kind of a klepto. I stole literally anything, there was a point where I would never go into a store without stealing something, you can imagine food was on that list.

I probably had value into the thousands worth of stuff, one time I stole artificial lemon flavoring ffs.

I got caught stealing alcohol from the supermarket, which was quite honestly retarded and shitty supermarket tier beer tastes like shit, but for someone under 21 it was a hard target haha

it wasn't always just shoplifting, if you've ever played the game thief I used to do pretty much the same type of shit garret did

>>9109314
I do this almost everytime I go shopping. Nothing better then walking out of the store with free stuff.

i also steal tiny amounts of food from my housemates so they don't notice.

>>9109314
There are a lot of tricks you can use. personally I take a big 10 dollar bag of potatoes, and put 40 dollars worth of meat in there, once a week in 11 different stores.

None of them have found out and it's saving me up to 250 bucks a month.

I shoplifted a bunch of times, I'd fill up cloth bags and walk out. The one time I got caught was with just a chocolate bar. I ran like the wind.

>>9109327
Jesus man......... why did you tell the last part? fuuuuck

>13 years old
>was a gentle boy
>my two best friends challenged me to steal something
>decided I was now 13, and had to start becoming a real man
>wanted to prove I'm not a pussy
>walked into a garage sized mom and pop store
>started sweating and shaking
>ask the cashier with a stuttering voice if I could get one of those fancy tin boxes with assorted cookies
>she turns around to grab a stool because it was on the highest shelf behind her
>grabbed an apple that was on my left
>started running as if my life depended on it
>friends said it didn't count because it's just an apple

I've never stole again, that was not fair.

>>9109821
You painted your nails black and hit medieval guardsmen over the head with a blackjack?

>>9109314
When I was younger I used to get pissed off at some shit being so cheap that it wasn't even worth ringing up at the register. That 20 cent little knob of ginger? That 12 cent hot pepper? I'm not even going to waste my time paying for that shit. I'll just put it in my pocket and pay for the shit that actually costs money, That's how I used to think.

>>9109747
>>9109757
My parents paid for my education too and have being very supportive, but the way you worded it made it sound like they are just drones for your own sustenance and nothing more

>>9109905
get a load of this faggot

>>9109397
why what will that do

>>9109314
1st grade
shoplifted a 10 cent bag of sunflower seeds

>go through period a few years ago of mental illness
>crazy waves of anxiety and paranoia
>end up jobless and living in my car for a bit
>one day sitting in car
>start craving imitation crab meat
>ive always loved the stuff but this craving is intense
>convince myself that brain is lacking some nutrient in crab meat that it needs to function properly
>walk into grocery store
>grab 4 of 5 packages of imitation crab sticks
>look around and stroll into bathroom
>sit on toilet in stall and scarf it all down
>realize i have to destroy the evidence
>flush all the wrappers down toilet
>it clogs and starts overflowing
>powerwalk out of store and never return

I'm much better now. I still eat a lot of imitation crab meat , but I don't think that has much to do with my mental state.

>>9109905
so you just get offended on their behalf?
wew are are the biggest faggot i have seen on this board

When I was like 8 I stole a nickel piece of bubble gum from the corner store. I went back like a week later and put $15 in the take a penny pool like a retard.

>>9109911
Then you got both your arms broken, to get taught a lesson, because you're a slav.

>>9109340
your the reason the good steaks have rfid on them now

>>9109945
none of those

>>9109953
Too lazy to look for the story, but in slav land a vending machine owner noticed money were routinely being stolen from one of his machines, then he caught a kid doing it, put him in his truck, drove to the forest, broke both his arms with a metal pole, and possibly did other things to him that I don't remember, and left him there.

Don't steal anons.

>>9109314
No... because it comes back to you and eventually you will pay

>>9109314
>Walk into supermarket
>pick up a loaf of bread and an energy drink
>walk out of store
Be clean, neat and tidy in your appearance, avoid hoodies, large jackets or hats.
Don't loiter around.
Walk with confidence
Go in when it's busy

And yea you can basically walk in grab whatever the fuck you want and walk out without anyone batting an eye at you. I even went to the front counter to buy cigarettes with my stolen goods before and was questioned "did you buy these"? I looked her in the eyes and replied with "yes" and she was all good.
My backup excuse was I didn't get a receipt from the self serve counter.

>>9110002
Also, don't be black.

How about not stealing and getting good karma?

>be 15
>out doing parkour in ~38C weather with a friend
>go all out, tired as fuck and almost dying
>go buy some water
>on the way realize my coins fell out of my pocket while jumping around
>friend has no money
>so desperate for water we start devising a plan on how to steal a bottle
>almost commit but realize stealing is for niggers, and we can't hang like that
>walking around about to die
>see a milf walking towards us carrying a big sack
>it's all filled with water bottles she's taking to her theater set
>she notices we're dying and hands us four bottles

God might exist guys.

>>9109913
>I still eat a lot of imitation crab meat , but I don't think that has much to do with my mental state.
Ummmm, that could be debated.

>>9109952
>tfw the steak botnet wants me to starve

>>9109913
post of the year

I never have but I always wanted to. The urge is kind of building in me. Apparently my grandmother was a klepto and when I was an infant she would use me as her accomplice, hiding things within my baby blanket etc.

>>9109913
anon, next time take a can opener and eat the real canned crab instead of the fake stuff

>>9109898
yes obviously

>>9109469
thanks for the blog post brah

>>9109913
Is that you?

I did in high school. Walmart had just deployed self-checkouts in my area, which meant employees weren't fully trained for them and the machines themselves weren't completely set up (ie. weight sensors not tuned or calibrated). I would usually get multi-packs of energy drinks and cover the box's UPC with something small like a pack of gum so the machine would register the gum instead.

>>9110126
Holy shit

>>9110141
That's older than the internet

>>9110143
Im 11

>>9110148
Wanna meet up?

>>9110148
ahem....

>>9110062
its only on the overpriced steaks no one buys anyway. Theyre always on special, thats the only time people buy them

>had just been prescribed lots of xanax + other meds
>been feeling invincible ever since
>got away with A LOT
>start stealing from Walmart
>memorize camera locations,
>shove stuff in my bag, go to the bathroom then stick it in my pants just in case
>like 6months go by
>eventually caught with $34 worth of merchandize
>JUST turned 18, so charged
>court gives me the option of community service, or jail for 10 days to have my record expunged
>chose jail
>harassed by black people for 10 days over stuff I didn't even want

>>9109905

I'm confused, are you saying I have to work hard to feed other people than my immediate family? Are you just manblobing around until UBI saves you from being a pathetic autist? It'll only be a reality to out great grandchildren.

>mfw you'll never get paid actualbuxx sitting around doing nothing and will have to survive on NEETbuxx rations.

The 1st of the month is almost here foodstamp bro.

Stole some chocolate bars and the like when I was a kid. Friends and I used to call it the pocket rule: "If it fits in your pocket you don't pay for it." We were dipshits.

Used to steal whatever was on the receipts i found i the trash outside shops and return it for cash. Then i would buy hash and ciggerets.

I was like 3 at the time and I knew that stealing was wrong but my parents never told me not to do it so I figured I could do it once then get the talk and get off scott free. Well I stole a chocolate bar and it played out exactly as I thought it would.

I think it was a Mr Big or Oh Henry. Something with a yellow wrapper. How I remember this and thought that way as a child is beyond me.

I mainly steal spices and shit, small shit I can fit into my pocket like whole nutmegs or a tube of tomato paste.

If I'm particularly ballsy I'll ride my bike to the store and fill a backpack with expensive liquor or any other big things.

In both scenarios I still buy a decent load of groceries, just the small expensive shit is free, in the case of the bike/backpack right after buying my groceries I pack them into my backpack to take suspicion off of me.

Mainly done at the nearby grocer without any obvious Loss Prevention(LP), I only know of cameras and they only check those if they're given a reason

Protip from someone who works in a supermarket: we know. It's just a matter of whether or not we care that day.

>>9111280
What's the best way to get away with it?

>>9111354
Be nice, don't be suspicious, especially don't be seen

>>9111361
no shit

>>9111372
Yes, exactly, there's really nothing to it.

>>9109314
fun

>>9109327
Damn...

In highschool everyday after football practice my friends and I would grab bags of fried chicken, pinwheels (chocolate marshmallow things), energy drinks, a few boxes of napkins, and sit down in the middle of one of the aisles and consume all of it. We'd leave all the wrappers and packaging there too, I have no idea how we were never remotely confronted.

I also used to buy things like paper towels, and stuff beef jerky in the rolls of it. I would take really anything, definitely am forgetting a lot... A few times I got bored with not being caught so I stuffed around 10 packs of (obviously loud) tic tacs in my socks+shorts and carried out a case of vitaminwater--the manager ran around the store trying to get me but I got away every time.

A protip is that if you ever see someone stealing, call them out on it. Projecting works on retards who works at grocery stores. It's always the person who the retarded people in charge of safeguarding the inventory least suspect.

I'm a self-made multimillionaire now too btw, probably shouldn't be but meh what are you gonna do.

>>9110011
Yes, this is truly the biggest protip for shoplifting.

>>9109754
He stole the haircut

>>9109314
I was raised as a good Protestant boy who went to church every Sunday and Boy Scouts every Friday. I've never shoplifted before in my life. I'm a disenchanted agnostic now, and I still disapprove of stealing.

I stole a pot from a restaurant.

>>9109314
I still steal like 5 lbs of almond meal every other month by writing it up as corn meal in the self check out line.
Niggas gon nig

>>9109355
The parents are the ones that should be in jail. Preferably forever.

>>9111272
>ride my bike in the store
the fuck?

>>9109314
Only when really drunk.

>>9112068
Nice
What are they going to do, call the cops for stealing heir weed?

>>9109355
The parents of the child should be sterilized

Only in that weird state where you should have hangover but you're actually still plastered as fuck. Just to see if I can.

>>9109314
My brothers paki friend used to go into the local shop and come out with about 6 different chocolate bars and multiple sweets that he slid up his sleeves. He was like a paki version of that chink from the goonies. It was incredible.

>>9109327
that's fucked up

>>9112702
I know I couldn't believe he got away with stealing 50 times from the same store in one sunmer

I recently realised that one of my local self-checkout machines doesn't check for weight, so i've just not scanned like half of the things I buy there.

I've been trying out all those really overpriced healthy foods for rich people. They're kind of dissapointing.

>>9111619
self-made multimillionaire? Woah

>>9111619
>A protip is that if you ever see someone stealing, call them out on it.

>tfw my retard of a boss tells everyone to just let them get away with it because we don't want to upset anyone.
>Then the next week wonders why the fucking budget is shit.
>Try to fix our forklift with a replacement 40w fuse that pops instantly.
>Apparently the wiring inside the machine is so shit the fuse is supposed to be only 4w, and they have the thing so jacked the battery is fucking melting.

>>9109398
I cant stand all this certification shit desu. It funds stuff that people don't have no idea of and it also brings up the price. Though capitalism is better than communism.

>>9109397
Why would you do that? You'd pay more!

>>9109314
>ywn shoplift a $50 tin of black sturgeon caviar

>>9110031
I feel you
>Be young kid
>Do kid things like hit the buttons of vending machines for shits and giggles
>One day, family and I walk past soda vending machine
>Cherry Coke button beckons to be pressed
>Smash the button and hear the familiar dispensing clink
>Get scolded by parents because they didn't witness the magic
Still, it was the sweetest cherry coke I have ever tasted

>be 12 years old
>shopping in the grocery store with my mom
>for some reason I'm really fucking thirsty
>my mom lets me crack open a bottle of water in the store and says that she can just tell the cashier to scan the empty bottle after I'm finished
>drink the whole thing
>get bored because mom is still shopping
>starting tossing the empty bottle up in the air and catching
>I toss it really high and it lands on top of the aisles
>mom just looks at me disappointed at her autist son
>we leave the store without telling anyone that I drank a bottle of water without paying for it
I guess that's kinda like shoplifting

Stole 6 Walmart sub sandwiches.
Cuz my crew was hungry and we spent our money on vodka & drugs.

This is almost a regular thing

>>9109376
You are an autist making shit up

>>9109359
Used to be able to get away with that here for expensive cuts of meat, but now it's getting harder.

>>9110031
>Has decency
Thank God, reading this thread was torture to my imagine of the human soul.

>Literally nigger tier stealing
>but yall Niggas look at me crazy and follow me suspiciously when a Nigga just trying to cop a rillo and a cold Arizona

Wow seek help

>>9114634
Rillo friend

Nobody smokes these by the way they serve a greater purpose.

>>9114651
oh so they're pronounced like "reeyo"?
anyway don't worry about the shitheads in this thread, I'm a nigger that's never shoplifted too
just worry about your own integrity, that's all you can account for
>I'm just now realizing that the looks I get from strangers in grocery stores is not because of my shockingly good looks
fuck

>>9114672
>I'm a nigger

No you ain't and if you are you Wildin

I've done it just for the thrill before. Never got caught, thank fucking god cause that would be embarrassing.

I've stolen dxm before to save money back when I was tripping a lot too. I could afford it, but gotta be thrifty, right?

Shit, now that I think about it, I wonder how many times I actually did it.

Stole multivitamins from Walmart one time

I remember one night at a bar I stole tips that people would leave behind. At another bar, I stole a steak knife and an ashtray and a glass.

Should've had my ass beat but didn't. My life sucks now anyways so I guess I'm paying for it in other ways.

>>9114709
Then I'm wildin'
So what's that greater purpose?

To contribute to the topic, there's this hapa girl I knew that went to the corner store on campus on occasion. She always bought a fair amount, and stole the same haul at the same time. Like she'd buy two nutter butters and come out with four. Never saw her do it, but it must've been slick as fuck considering how small that store was.

>>9109314
not intentially just one time i got a bag of grapes free because of a weird trolley when i didn't see them to lift them onto the belt

>>9109391
No one gives a fuck about your shitty ethics

>>9111619
>I stuffed around 10 packs of (obviously loud) tic tacs in my socks+shorts and carried out a case of vitaminwater--the manager ran around the store trying to get me but I got away every time.

>>9114558
Fuck dude thats me with hot foods that are in a warmer orthe damn donuts. I use toget bored waiting for my parents to finish and sit down at the tables and eat them meaning to just keep the bags. Then I walk around to burn time and absent mindedly toss the bag. Sometimes I didnt even notice till we got back home. Felt bad as fuck.

>>9114812
Fuck is wrong with my spacebar.

mfw loss prevention reading this thread im gonna arrest all you faggots

I usually pocket a box of candy at the movie theater. I still pay for the ticket and a soda.

>>9109314
I only ever steal from large store chains that don't pay their employees for shit and have made their profit off robbing the American people through corporate welfare and exploiting every loophole in the book that their paid political puppets made sure existed.

Pocket small things, slip them up your sleeves etc, ring up things at the self-checkout that are far cheaper than what you actually bought, act very distracted while you're going through the store so if you do get caught you can pass it off as just an absentminded mistake. Steal small things while you're there to do actual shopping.

>>9114829
F I N D M E

>>9109314
I work security in a large corporate building that contains a grocery store. The store pays for their own security guard to stand at the front of the store 24/7. The guard is told by the store to not put his hands on anyone, not follow anyone, not even to speak to anyone. If someone rams a $80 roast down their pants in front of him he is contractually obligated to do nothing at all.

There is a small cadre of scumfuck nobodies who have figured this out and literally make a living stealing shit from the store to then sell or eat or whatever. They NEVER face ANY consequences whatsoever.

So now I steal shit from the grocery store all the fucking time.

>>9114566
What the fuck is a scotch filet?

>Protip from someone who works in a supermarket: we know
Well you wouldn't know about the successful thieves until afterwards

>>9114926
It's a rib eye with the bone removed.

>>9109376
>changing clothes every day
Only you fucking autists need to be told to fucking change clothes every day. You also should probably bathe daily too.

>>9115297
You never wear the same trousers and sweatshirt two days in a row?

no it was too heavy

I pocket a little something every time I go to buy something.

>>9109314
Yes I steal pretty much all my spices and small condiments. Switch stickers on the reduced meats and breads. Ring up many of my green vegetables as cabbage and enter incorrect quantities in the self checkout for mangoes, avocados, etc. This is also good for greens that come in bunches like spinach or cilantro.

It's a 2 for 1 special every day for me.

>>9115304
When I'm at home and not doing anything, I do. I'll normally wear them for 4-7 days before washing them. Wear clean underwear everyday, though.

Who displays wine right next to the front door of the supermarket? That's the question I want to ask you first. And second, can you blame me and my m8s when we were younger running out with one in each hand?

I see it as providing a service to the management of the store. Lesson learned, right? They won't be doing that again.

>>9109314

Spices can be too expensive, man.

I stole approximately 300 kinder eggs from the shop near my school over the course of 7 years. you would think he would have noticed at some point.

I've never shoplifted, or had the urge to but I used to ring up produce as bananas. The organic/regular thing won't work soon, as more stores are going all-organic with their produce.

I used to work at Walmart and we got shoplifted all the time. Our policy was to never chase a thief, only report it to loss prevention and get back to work. I think a female Walmart employee in China died after trying to pursue a thief. She chased him and he turned around and slashed her throat. Dude was apparently mentally ill and eating in the aisles. Whatever he stole wasn't worth her life.

>>9109314
>4 years old
>friend dared me to steal something
>stole a pack of chewits
everytime i shop at that store i always say keep the change no matter how much change it is

>>9109314
>Have you ever shoplifted food before?
Yes.
>If so, what lead you to such degeneracy?
Being poor.

>>9109326
And this is a thread about stealing FOOD, you first grade reader

>>9109913
Good post, I laughed

>>9109314
I stole a pack of Tic Tacs once when I was really young. It was an accident really. I was super into reading anything I could get my hands on and I grabbed a thing of Tic Tacs from the shelf while my mom was getting groceries and I just walked out with it while trying to read and understand the ingredients list.

I stole a cashier's heart and we ended up going out for three years.

>15 years ago
>height of my addiction
>routinely go to grocery stores to steal steaks
>load up shopping cart with most expensive cuts
>simply push cart out door and to my car
>fence steaks for a quarter of the value
>always enough to get fix
>never got caught because I didn't hit the same stores frequently

>>9114921
I remember back in the day when we would fuck people up.
>Following guy stuffing his pockets with expensive shit, electronics, food, etc as his crackhead gf stood watch.
>They bolt for the parking lot and one of my managers tackles the guy face first into the curb.
>gf bolts, leaving a cart full of meat and an empty vacuum display box.
>Police show up, the dudes face is fucked, security cameras were somehow not pointed in that area when the incident happened, apparently the gentleman was not doing anything and was assaulted!

I've never stole anything
not because I didn't want to but because I'm a nervous wreck and probably would end up doing some stupid shit like accidentally dropping whatever I stole while walking out, looking extremely suspicious etc
I just wouldnt be able to hold it together

>>9109404
I've tried this,if the weight doesn't match you might as well bail

>>9111257
I thought that way as a kid too. Kids aren't stupid, they just don't have life experience and fully developed brains. That doesn't make them less capable of social manipulation.

maybe if i was 5. but i've met people who just steal everything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrwjiO1MCVs

>>9110002
I worked in a grocery store and some middle-aged guy tried what you described. We only had one entrance and about 3 lanes so it was pretty autistic to begin with.

>I see him start walking out
>It's moderately busy, but I just shuffled someone through so there was a break
>"Sir, you didn't pay for those"
>"Whoops I forgot"
>He comes through my line and pays for prime rib and a new york strip steak

The more I think about it the more I realize that's the perfect backup plan.

>>9109314
The store across the street from where I work has a self service coffee machine, and I always buy a large and ring it up at the self checkout as a regular. That's the extent of my thievery, besides the couple of times I've put two donuts from the Krispy Kreme shelf in the same paper bag and put them through as one. The checkout scales don't seem to weigh coffee or donuts accurately, and that knowledge has made me a little fatter.

One time I just grabbed a 3L coke and ran. We were young and without cash and needed a mixer.

>>9112431
Can you even fucking read?

>>9118775
sorry, I was high on ambien when I posted that

>>9118763
Checkout boys are always the cutest. Especially when they say sir

>>9118773
>using coke as a mixer
I'm so happy I had parents that cared what I drank and gave me taste tests of wines and spirits. Though I was drinking quality red wine and gin at the age of 16 wish I were able to drink shit stuff without gagging

>>9118799
Well, if you are poor you can't really afford passable spirits. Maybe some cheap whisky but I usually cutted it with mineral water.
>muh parents
Yea I also had great wines, beers and spirits in family dinners, but sometime you will have to leave and manage by yourself and you can't really spend that much in alcohol.

>>9118791
I had historically bad acne

>>9118785
Understandable
Have a nice day

Yeah, used to steal from my overpriced college caf daily. I'd order a chicken club sandwich, slap on some Caesar from the salad bar, get a container put it under my coat and walk past the cashier's. Used to put a green tea in my pocket too, pretty much my daily meal. One time security saw but they were so high-key about it I just looked them in the eye and took everything out of my pocket and just paid for the sandwich. Still asked to search me but had nothing on me. Somehow them buffoons didn't find the very illegal switchblade I had in my coat they searched. Makes me worry about their capability as civil protectors lmao

>>9109913
Fucking kek

>>9118812
I never went cheap cause I wasn't a nigger. I would have never dared to steal cause I'm not a nigger jew

>>9118825
Where tho

I've never shoplifted food because I have morals. That said, I remember when I was in high school, there was this kid who would buy Monster energy drinks and re-sell them at school for a profit. He had a pretty good business going on, and then got greedy and decided to shoplift a few. He got caught by an off-duty cop. Dumb fuck.

>>9115291
A ribeye is a boneless rib steak you fucking peasant.

>>9119268
Shouldn't this be the other way round?

>>9119608
A Jew nigger?