/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9265296
You see the Ring then you die.
>Of food poisoning.

Starting a wemb thread with ja/ck/?
Get outta here with that shit

>>9265335
rofl dumbass BUMP

I'll dump. I think these are all blue board appropriate.

>>9265365
>>9265364
>>9265362
>tfw no titties to make food for you

You now want to fuck a cake

>>9265387
Needs a slow motion mix and a slow motion shot of the gooey cheese.

>>9265385
W-what kind of frosting is that??

>>9265395
one time I fucked a bag of marshmallows

>>9265406
Whipped sugar glaze.

>>9265382

Fuck did I post that??? I didn't mean to don't report me
I can't delete it it says the password is wrong

>>9265420
y tho
it's cool but has no culinary value other than the fact that it happens to be made of edible things
like those bullshit cake boss fondant nightmares

>>9265421
Looks like a good webm, though. Can I get source?

>>9265431
Wizards don't ask why, they ask why not

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmDR3vwJOMs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2e5w3z-YXk

>>9265445

>>9265435

I don't think it was me but I'm into gay shit like that so who knows. No idea where it's from either way sorry bud

>>9265403
Will hair ever grow there again or is she fucked?

>>9265453
>DFC
>whore face
now that's a combo you don't often see

>>9265459
What defines a whore face?

>>9265469
It's hard to define, but I know it when I see it

>>9265453
mmmm nice tits

>>9265421
fucking slob

>>9265469
Shoes

>>9265481
Nice tranny face

>>9265469
Long yet rounded face, prominent cheekbones, narrow eyes. Also eyes that are not brown.

this thread is fucking garbage
nothing but horny 12 year olds posting shitty webms that are only marginally /ck/ related

>>9265489

What kind of weirdo saves things that he can't jerk off to?

>>9265489
>this thread is fucking garbage
welcome to /ck/
>nothing but horny 12 year olds posting shitty webms that are only marginally /ck/ related
you seem stressed, I recommend you rub one out to one of the webms in this thread

>>9265391

>it's time to get RRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPED

>>9265366
keep licking until i tell you to stop or else i squeeze so hard your head pops open

Anyone have an idea why my cheap samsung android stopped running webms? It used to and quit @ 1 month ago.

>>9265391
>this buffs the crab

>>9265614
No it doesn't.

>>9265452
idk but she definitely fucked at least a few of those follicles up. ripping out hair from any part of the body risks damaging the follicle.

>>9265387
>2tbsp of milk
>dumps a quarter of the carton in

>>9265395
I've tried making japanese cheesecake a few times now and it never comes out puffy likes this. Don't know if it's an altitude/humidity thing or what but it just never wants to rise up properly. Still tastes good at least.

>>9265469
Her eyes lack any and all spark of genuine. She is acting, and every single solitary motion of her body is coldly calculated. The look in her eyes is one of artificial lust masking true greed.

>>9265499
Why is anime so stupid?

>>9265466
Fucking hell I think my asshole prolapsed watching that flip

>>9265466
Why haven't we invented a kitchen utensil that you can use to grab food and lift it?

>>9265408
legit, I felt some blood rush to my penis. What is that called?

>>9265870
Ask your mom

>>9266005
You've just had your first period.

>>9266008
>this is actually a sport now

>>9266008
Broke my coccyx like that.

>>9265438
What the fuck is this vile black stuff??

>>9266104
Probably Worcestershire sauce, which is awesome for beef.

>>9265431
it's cool. it'd be a cool garnish. it's not like they're trying to sell it, it's just a fun thing

>>9265469
the girl had bedroom eyes

>>9265429

>Do you want some eggs with your salmonella?

>>9266008
N-NANIIIII????

>>9266005
Being a numale.

>>9266005

Barbecue

>>9265296
I bet he drank that after.

>>9265499
that 'za is disgusting

>>9265409
my nigga
ever tried gummy bears or bread?

>>9265445

>>9266461
i bet you eat steak well done too ya cunt!

>>9266008
Keiko is stupid, but it knows it's stupid and has fun with it.

>>9265408
>hurr meat and sauce hurr

>>9267613
so you didn't watch it all huh

>>9265466
Can this fat fuck do anything right?

>>9265296
I swear to Christ jack is the fucking missing link between Neanderthal and Modern human. Because only a Fucking apeman would do the shit he does.

>>9267646
It's satire, you're all being trolled.

>>9265365
I fucking saw this on my recommended back then
and I had to jack off before finishing my meal

>>9265362
fucking sauce please

>>9267654
If that were true he would be the Andy Kauffman of YouTube channels. But we know it's not the case, dude is as dense as a neutron star.

>>9267673
>coarse, chimp like hair on his arms
>just like the "man" who invented the lobotomy

>>9265365
If I went to one of those shithole countries and found a cute busty local what do you think the odds are being able to convince her to come back to grorious americer to be my wife? Would the promise of fresh water at all times, central heating/air and indoor plumbing be enough to convince her?

>>9265442
tfw no gf

what a fucking pathetic thread. couldnt even repost the same old webm's that have been posted 1000 times before. just off-topic and lewd webms designed to get (yous). truly pathetic, OP, and i would expect you to feel ashamed if i didnt suspect you were a cancerous newfag

>>9265320

>>9265365
>>9265366
Fuck you I just wanted to go to bed and now I must beat it

>>9265433
>I don't like the fruity taste of white wine waste
>Bless yourself
What?

>>9265469
TWO
SCOOPS

>>9267698
>chicken sushi
And now we wait...

Csn you guys remind me her YouTube channel?

>>9265431
>it's cool but has no culinary value
Do you think all confectioneries aren't food?

>>9267587
>It's ok to eat shit if you do it ironically!
fuck off

>>9265453
Why are women allowed to go out in public wearing basically just a bra?

>>9267698
Topkek

>>9265375
sauce?

>>9266108
>>9266104

iirc it's balsamic vinegar reduced with celery.

>>9265391
What a shit spotter.

>>9265821
I'm also trying - I get decent rise, but not that floofy yet. My best lead so far is (assuming you're getting decent volume in the egg whites and folding them in nicely) that the baking time(s) and temperature(s) needs to be calibrated for the size and shape of the pan, the batch size of the cake, and the size and type of your oven. Basically, the what works in someone else's pan and oven won't necessarily work in yours, and vice versa. Trial and error, making small adjustments and taking notes, fun times.

>>9267698
funny thing is that quite a few sushi places in japan actually have their own henhouses and make medium-rare grilled chicken yakitori. Legit delicious. Would pay several hundred dollars and lose thousands in opportunity costs again just to go back
.

>>9265422
The french warning sign in fucked up

>>9265466
This is the worst one for me.
That was an absolutely gorgeous piece of fish before he got his filthy mitts on it.

>>9267777
Last week, I saw a woman being stopped by 2 cops because she was walking in the same kind of outfit, she has to wear something or pay a fine

>>9267839

>le 'gorgeous piece of fish' meme

it's just another fucking ingredient

>>9265451
sauc please

>>9267752
Bump

>>9267777
Why wouldn't she be allowed? Fuck off Ahmed.

>>9265373
If that ever happened to me I would only tip the minimum 20%!

>>9267777
Why are you frightened by the human body?

>>9267882
>>9267897
>tfw i can't walk around in my boxer briefs without the bolis or partyvan taking me away but some rando can walk around in a bra and hot pants and get applauded for her strength and femininity
cruel life

>>9265499
I want ehat there having

>>9265858

>>9267920
its a bikini
no-one gives half a fuck if you wear shorts and are barechest if you are in summer at a coastal city

>>9267973
>>9267882
>>9267882
>>9267897
Degenerates

back to your containment board newfig

I thought you just have to cover your private parts if you're going out in public.

I could just wear something to cover my nipples and put in a g-string and go grocery shopping, so long as my vagina doesn't show I'm good to go.

>>9267850
>women wear string bikinis to public swimming pools and it's perfectly acceptable
>when women wear a bra and hotpants on the street which are less revealing they should be fined or charged with obscenity

Makes sense.

>>9267998
I walk around with my cock and balls hanging out in the locker room

I don't expect to be able to do this on the subway without getting arrested

"She's pretty" or "I like to look" are not good reasons to tolerate indecent behavior. Otherwise you have to put up with uggos flashing their saggy leather tits and gross tattoos. I promise you do not want that

>>9265373

she did it on purpose hah

>>9267752
ALLO PEEPOW

kay's good cooking

>>9267777
because it's not the 1800's anymore you autist.

>>9267998
"public swimming pools" when people go there they are expecting to see people half naked, I'm sure that even you can understand that

>>9265394

>checked this thread yesterday a little while into it when there were 50 posts and and 40 image replies which was staggering for a /ck/ webm thread these days
>wake up this morning
>check it again
>over a hundred new posts and only 7 more images

this board is the worst on this whole site by a fucking country mile.

>>9268333
one more word and I fuck your wifes doctor

>>9265431
You can sell that shit for a fuck ton of money

>>9265379
So does she just vomit after all this for JAV vomit videos?

>>9267726
lol. shes imitating a news forecaster and says
>down here in california it's wet wet wet
>back to you jeff
with sound https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1498865087549.webm

>>9266461
You realize salmonella only occurs in the US due to our high population of Salmon, right?

>>9268384
well, you tried

>>9268384
Americlap here, not gonna lie but I've never just seen a salmon walking around and I try to keep a lookout for these things.

>>9265362
What a horrible creature

Looks like the gremlin evolved.

>>9265438
That ring is a sign that something bad is about to happen.

>>9265320
WTF is he doing?

>>9268454
They are very sneaky and tend to hide in the sewers. it's where the myths of alligators and reptilians come from

>>9268548
Pros don't cut all they way, they just stop halfway into the meat and then rip the rest out.
More flavor that way.

>>9265499
What kind of mentally deficient manbaby would watch shit like this?

>>9268639
someone who would also go on to defend it and claim it has societal or cultural impact or some shit lol. actual brainlets

>>9267698
yep I dont want to get bowel cancer, better start eating raw chicken

>>9267872
anna speckhart

>>9267838
how so?

>>9265421
i fucking dare you to post this on /o/

>>9267777
that is not a woman boy

>>9265395
>>926582
Is this cake call castella?

>>9266461
>implying your shitty american eggs are the same for every other country
You Americans are so silly

>>9265296
Is this the secret to his absolutely fucking raw burgers?

>>9265422
What is this?

>>9268759
Juicy!

>>9265438
I'm always proud when one of my jack webms show up in these threads

>>9265370
michelin star chefs attend private auctions for her feces

Audio only, but hands down the funniest food/cooking things I've ever heard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM

>>9267726
That was fucking spot on.

>>9265438
What a surprise! It's not raw!

>>9267860
Can you really not appreciate the beauty of fresh meat/fish?

>>9267777
Why are men allowed to go out in public without covering their chest?

>>9267752
Reviewbrah is a fag, Jack is a chad, but Kay is /ourguy/

>>9265462
I wish that can was my penis

>>9267897
Just cause I was born into one doesn't mean I have to like it

>>9265375
Who's this succubus

>>9269245

>Someone needs to get their ass kicked

I lost my shit

>>9265362
looks like Blaire White.

>>9269245
Typical Texan who has to bring his state into every fucking thing in his life.
We get it, you're from Texas.

>>9269715
New yorkers and Californians do the same fucking thing

>>9269319
Katy Perry

>>9269715
my brother just moved to Texas and started doing this, he's decided he needs to act like the fucking Texas stereotypes, he changed how he talks, dresses, political beliefs, etc.

whenever he comes home on a work break or something he shoehorns Texas into every fucking conversation and how it's sooooo much better than where we live etc. it's fucking annoying

>>9269979
I play Eve with some Texans and they are all like this. Massive superiority complex. I really don't understand it at all.

>>9267994
I'm pretty sure that's the case but people get butthurt about it being slutty

>>9269982
it doesn't even make sense half the time, like he bragged about how Texas has no state income tax but neither does the state we're from...

>>9269979
nothing like the zeal of a convert anon

>>9269979
>>9269982
>>9270028
>>9270119

maybe texas is just that good

>>9265403
Fuck last time I saw this it fucking ripped the guys teeth straight out.

>>9265370
Where does she get the money for that shit?

>>9270120
I don't think so. My great-uncle lived in Texas. He was nuts! We went to visit once when I was a kid and he would wake everyone up at 1 every morning to tell us how to flush the toilet. Not only that but he thought it was hilarious to zap his mentally disabled adult stepson with a cattle prod.

>>9270314
Sounds like a cool guy.

>>9267698
Does
Does she know chicken sashimi is still cooked on the outside?

>>9269979
I'd rather listen to texans shout about great it is than califucks, at least texans don't try and make other places live like they do

Saag and rice I made

>>9270321
t. doesn't deal with Calicucks

Texans are way worse

>>9270334
I deal with both, frequently.
They're equally fucking obnoxious but californians actually try to convince everybody to do it their way instead of just bragging about it.
Then they move because rent costs so fucking much.
Then they start voting in their dumbfuck ideas.

>>9270305

Ad revenue from people watching their channels

>>9268976

No, it's Japanese cheesecake

Castella is something else

>>9270297

If it was a chinese dude webm that you saw on /ck/ that was a fake

>>9270327
I thought that was Discworld from the thumb.

>>9265416
For one second, I thought a dick would show up and cum on the spaguetti.
Now I sort of wanted that to happen, ketchup on pasta is fucking disgusting.

>>9270353
queer

>>9265394
who this

>>9268759
I've never understood this webm. How is the chicken cooked, but there is still so much blood in it? Like the meat is clearly white throughout, and cooked. But it's just clearly leaking uncooked blood/juice/whatever.

>>9270443
Jack cooked it. That's how.

>>9265391

>>9270574

>>9270327
POO

>>9265296
>>9269179
Now I want to see how raw they actually turned out but I can't find that video. Anyone know which one it is?

>>9265421
/o/tist here and I would literally kill someone for this shit in my hoon machine

>>9268771
>>9270641
It's literally from a thread on /o/
t. was there when he did it

>>9270782
Yeah I've seen it posted several times. Would still neck someone for that bullshit

>>9269179
I think so. By pouring ice water into the meat and cooling it that much, you can expect the outsides of anything you stick in a pan or on a grill to be well done before the middle is even above 60F.

>>9267773
Nothing ironic about it.

>>9265431
This is why your life will never have value.

>>9265499
>cheese so hot that it slides off

>>9265474
Excellent post

>>9270803
Don't you think?

>>9265481
It's called "Presenting" among apes

>>9265481
I'm calling wang

>>9268752
"WARNING : Do not operate it without attach a shelter"

>>9265421
I was in that thread. It was great

>>9267679
Depends on how much you want that completely blown out poosi. There is Zero chance that she has not sold her body on numerous occasions to random tourists.

>>9265481
Nice

>>9270397
ava dalush

>>9267978

>>9265408
>all that burnt shit

I like my meat cancer-free thanks

>>9265425

holy shit this dude didn't even have to slice it open like this one did >>9265429

fuckin legend

>>9272037
>His body isn't strong enough to battle carcinogens.

>>9265425
Thata really cool desu

>>9268499
Every fucking time.

>>9270319

I've had completely raw chicken in japan. there are many different ways to not cook chicken.

>>9270321
The fuck they don't.

t. Colorado

P.s. Fuck off, we're full

>>9267658

Alura Jenson

>>9265406
Do you want some of my frosting?

>>9265375
she should just go into porn and get it over with.

>>9265442
Fucking coke we all know this shit doesn't happen

>>9265296
>>9265320
>>9265331
please stop jackposting. three posts in and i already hate this thread....

>>9265442
fuck is this shit?

>>9273055
you've come to a bad board, perhaps you should go back

>>9273055
Ja/ck/ is love
Ja/ck/ is life

I'd give my life and drag my dick through 1000 miles of lava and broken glass just to suck his creampie out of Tammy's ass with a straw.

>>9268759

>>9267785
probably bbq sauce of some kind once she's done cooking.

>>9265481
jesus christ what a mess

>>9265391
SNIP CITY
N I
I T
P Y

>>9273343
I fucked up

>>9265466
Watching the full episode just makes it worse. He literally pan "cooks" the salmon then bakes it in some fucking gross "broth"

It hurt.

>>9267966
Fucking kek'd.

>>9265499
>they are 30+ year old men that still watch little girl cartoons on the 5chans

>>9269771
Can confirm.

>>9273526

>>9265366
if you cover the green part of the watermelon with your hand it looks like she shat out her organs

>>9265452
>>9265807
i think there's a video out there where she gets a wig or hair transplant but you can look for yourselves

>>9273526
Do you also avoid ice cream because its a treat for little kids?

>>9265481
WTF I love niggers now

>>9265320
This one always kills me.

>>9265320
The sheer lack of dexterity and seemingly constant DT-shakes he has always blows me away.

>>9265296
What actually is the purpose of the ice water?

>>9265416
>the ketchup precum at the start

>>9265421

>>9269274
because they are men

>>9275460
I'm safe from this. Feels good man.

>>9275472
you posh fuck

>>9275497
Looks more posh than it really is. But I dig it.

>>9275472
>not a slider

>>9275513
Nah but I have the distinction of owning the shifting mechanism given blame for killing a member of the bridge crew of the starship Enterprise

>>9275460
Yamete

>>9275472

>>9265422
Did this webm really need to be longer than 2 seconds?

>>9275510

Is that a 200 ?

>>9273055
Can't slack the Jack

>>9270574

>>9276049
Yeah 2015

>>9265438
can someone tell me once and for all if this guy trolls or not?

>>9276643
Nobody knows for certain, but most likely not.

>>9265296
>white people can't handle spicy food
>ummmmmmmmmm try again sweetie

>>9265296
Why do people loosely mold patties, meatballs etc like this? I've seen Kay do it to. It doesn't make sense under any amount of stupidity, even literal retards do better with play dough. Does it just feel to icky between their fingers?

>>9276817
Depends on what you mean exactly. Jack is obviously cringe bullshit that's done on purpose to attract views.

But that being said you get a better texture from a hamburger patty that is minimally worked. Using a burger press or fucking with the meat too much by hand results in an unpleasant texture compared to a looser patty. Modernist cuisine goes through quite an elaborate procedure to make patties with the least possible compression of the meat. It's a pain in the ass but it really does make for superior burgers.

>>9267726
fucking impressive mate

>>9265481
Instantly lost my boner. what a disgusting shitbag.