/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Webm thread? Webm thread.

>>9412088
inb4 ck gets butthurt about a degustation menu and fine dining.

>>9412198
you have to go back

Let's begin

>>9412268
Posting the same bloody videos from the same bloody retard every bloody webm-thread? Woo!

>>9412297
Sounds like you're familiar with /ck/

>>9412198
Absolutely degusting

>>9412198
I get the idea behind it, and I can apreciate having the ability to sample many things at once, without being a fat hog, but these "portions" are way too small.
you can't even truly sample something with such a small amount.
How does the taste and texture change when you chew it short vs long? What different nuances can you taste? That shit takes a few bites.
I'm not advocating putting mountains of food on the platter, but double the size from what's shown in here and have it one course less, and it'll be
a) a full meal
b) something that you can fully taste and appreciate with all of your senses
c) still totally pretentious/faggy so that you can still show it off on facesnaptter/ck can still start sperging about it

>>9412784

it is a full meal and your 'how does the taste and texture change when you chew it short vs long' thing is an eccentricity of yours that does not apply to all foods or, for that matter, diners.

pretty much every plate has at least three bites, you have ample opportunity to chew for 10, 20 and 30 seconds respectively if you want.

>>9412268
>>9412305
what is actually wrong with these? i see them reposted, A LOT but outside of presentation i am sure they taste fine. this isn't like his undercooked chicken

>>9412800
this first one the bottom of the pot touches the topping.
the second one should be mixed in a trough not a pot.

>>9412800

the glazing shows incompetence. the garbage chili looks like it would be a clusterfuck to me, but that's kind of the point of the whole concept so i don't think you can shit on jack too hard for it.

>>9412088
>hand tattoo at 30 second mark

I don't want human trash touching my food thanks.

>>9412790
It was just one example.
don't you also have those foods that "develop" with bytes and where you just need time and some amounts to fully discover them?
Sure, something like the McForme will taste the same, no matter what kind of byte you take, but the complicated stuff as in the webm?

>>9412825

the foods in the webm are actually pretty simple.

foods do develop over time and with mastication, for a number of reasons, and so i would agree that a tasting menu that serves everything in a series of teaspoons is probably missing some important elements of a good meal.

you strike a balance with portion size vs variety in a tasting menu and it is pretty common to aim for around three good bites at a minimum.

also i don't know what you're referring to with the 'mcforme' but i think a burger is actually a relatively complex food that lends itself a little better to long chewing. it's several components in a compact form surrounded by bland bread, you definitely need to take more time with it to get the full effect, scarfing it down is pretty unsatisfying.

>>>/wsg/1871704

>>9412030
WA LA

>>9412198
I dunno, if they aimed at that stuff looking extra-pretty, they missed. It sure looks fancy, the kind of "clueless morons will pay an arm and a leg" fancy. Like Rayban "0" glasses, or Juicero.

>>9412198
Leftards, you should stop pretending anybody not worshipping your stupidity is "butthurt" or "triggered". You tried it in politics, on games, on comics, and every time, it failed miserably, despite what your blog pretend. It's not different there.

>>9412088
>chef or waitstaff have tattoos....visible tattoos...fucking sleeve tattoos

WARNING SIGN!!!!!
TURN 180 AND LEAVE

>>9412846
Best cosplay ever.

>>9412268
>dips the bottom of the pot into the sauce

Heathen.

>>9412886

>leftards

oh look another poor person who can't differentiate between culture and politics

>>9412088
>nu-male with tattoos

every fucking time

>>9412800
>i am sure they taste fine
No. I'm pretty sure a dumb fatass that can't even cook chicken thoroughly is not turning out anything that "tastes fine".

>>9412305
What the fuck even is this supposed to be? Chopped up hot dogs? Salsa? Green beans? I'm fucking baffled.

>>9412846
>filename
Oh, damn…

But for fucks sake, clean your fucking disgusting room.

>>9412305
I think the thing that pisses me off the most about Jack is his enduring inability to pre-heat anything. Cold pans, cold pots and cold oil. Every fucking time.

>>9412966
I'm sure if there were a way to mistakenly use a cold oven, he'd do that, too.

>>9412088

>In the mood for some fine dining
>it expensive but its nice once in a while
>little bit of class in your life

>see some white nigger trash with hand tattoos making the food

What do you do?

>>9412886

go back to pol you fucking retards

This is a "left" board ie not fucking retarded and we dont want tronglodyes like you shitting the place up

>>9412971
>>9412966
someone pointed this out some time ago and now I CANNOT GET OVER THIS

>>9413078
this

>>9413075
>implying not all chefs are inhuman garbage with tattoos

anon please......

>>9412846
Disgusting overcooked eggs.

>>9412819
>>9412910
>>9413075

t. never worked in a kitchen

>>9413075
mockingly ask him what he was in prison for, then keep asking him various questions about prison life while everyone at the table tries to hold their laughter in until it finally becomes too much to bear and everyone bursts out laughing right as he's walking away back to the kitchen, staring at the ground in shame

on the bill next to the tip I write, "included a little extra to help with bail and lawyer fees"

>>9413087
Yeah, it's maddening, because that was the kind of mistake that I maybe made a couple of times when I was first learning to cook as a teenager. For Jack, it's become his way of life. I mean, if teenage me can overcome it, how fucking ignorant must this guy be?

>>9413122
Like here. I have to imagine he literally ignited that grill seconds before filming.

>>9413122
fucking kek

>>9413135
hits too close to home

>>9413122
Lost my shit

>webms
thinly veiled ja/ck/ thread

>>9413252
just

>>9412030
jebus christ does the camera man have parkinsons?

>>9412784
Just shut the fuck up and go to golden corral and gorge yourself you fat fuck

>>9413252
>I did a thing with your slice
>Pls gibe money

>>9413263
Talk about form over function.

>>9413388
It's art you uncultured swine

>>9413399
>anime
>art

>>9412846
Holy shit amazing fucking meme

A L L T H E E G G S

>>9413416
>pancake
>anime

>>9412305
How to corrode your stomach

>>9412889
>Never worked in a kitchen

>>9412897
Politics are a part of culture. In many cases one's politics are the defintion of one's culture.

>>9413078
>>9413092
Fuck off retards. go back top /pol/ or /lgbtq/ or /mlp/ or wherever you came from.

>>9412305
What the fuck is this supposed to be? Please. I'm going to lose sleep over it.

>>9413466
NEWFAG!!!!

>>9413252
Why.

>>9413472
Nevermind. I found it. It was called "Garbage Stew", aptly enough. What pissed me off is that the entire time we was putting all that shit in the pot, there was nary a sizzle or a bubble. It was like the stove wasn't even on. He kept stirring it after added everything and it looked like a cold pot of trash. I almost threw up.

>>9413124
no i haven't, explain?

>>9413455
Tattoos and brightly dyed hair are people to stay away from and don't let them handle your food. Don't hire them for anything at all.

>>9413263
I want a waifu pancake pls

>>9413548
kid, plzgo

>>9413152

Also, you can see it in that webm. He sees shit going wrong and instead of assessing and adjusting or trying to fix it he just points at it or acts confused like he has no control over the simple thing he could easily fix. He sees the egg start to slide off and just watches and points at it like a retard as it falls into his cold grill. Another example of this is his corndog dipper. He could easily not dip it in more or pour some batter out but he sees it's about to overflow, stops for a moment, and then just dunks it full in, spilling shit everywhere and making a gross mess, then mutant corndog into the cold oil.

>>9413609
It kills me. Same thing in the chicken and burger webms where he cuts the meat open to reveal it's extremely undercooked, and even without dialogue you can see his reaction through his hands where he's first alarmed, then realizes he's gone too far to backpedal, and then he just kind of treats it as though "ah well, this stuff happens"

The corndog one pisses me off because he clearly disregarded the "max fill" line on the container, and that could have saved him. Also because he did something to the corndog that clearly prevented his batter from adhering to it. Did he fucking wax it or something? Or was it a problem with the batter?

It also reminds me of the time he somehow made that non-Newtonian marinade that absolutely would not coat the chicken pieces he was trying to put in it. I don't even know what he did there.

>>9413609
The guy with the egg on the grill isn't Jack, those aren't his hands

>>9413666
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdE8yh0d1_0

Aren't you just the fucking hand expert?

>>9413666

But it is, satan, he even has the same ring. Fuck you for making me check.

>>9413652

Also that dumb nigger couldn't even figure out how to use the meme meat claws and just scraped at the pork ineffectually

>>9413678

>"let's this heat up a bit"
>let's it heat up for less than a minute before trying the eggs on it, doesn't even start to turn opaque when he cracks it on there, then watches it slide off without even trying to stop it.

>>9413678

>>9413652
one like this?

>>9413678
hmmm

>>9413716
jesus christ how horrifying
this is why i cook my own food

>>9413652
When battering hotdogs, one is well advised to dredge the 'dog in flour or corstarch before dipping. Greasy meat tubes are not the greatest substance to get batter to adhere to, a little starch provides an excellent gripping surface.

>>9413548
theyre the only kind of people insane enough to want to work in a kitchen

>>9412198
You were wrong, it was the tatoos.

>>9412846
You have to eat all the eggs

>>9413876
B I G
O
Y

B Y T E S

>>9413876
>Rub needs sage and rosemary.
>make your own rub, use store-bought sauce
>camelized onions
good
>No pickles
bad
>No Colby/CoJack
bad

8/10 sammich, would spruce up and serve to mates on game night.

>>9413448
>anime pancake
>not anime

>>9412848
>sharp chink knife.png
>never pops the balloon
>sharp

>>9413972
Really nigger?

>>9413876
>foil touching food

>>9413263
Looks OK, but I wouldn't pay for it cuz it don't look liek jesus

>>9412268
This is why you use a double boiler when you melt your chocolate, otherwise it comes out looking like liquid shit.

>>9413508
I guarantee you he didn't even turn on the heat until after he stirred it and let it sit for like 5 minutes. See in Jack logic, flavors meld together best when everything is cold.

>>9412305

>all that salt

>>9414022
I can just imagine a regular sane person being in the kitchen with jack as he cooks.
>jack, please jack just use a bigger container!
>NO IT'S FINE, EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

>>9413994
I'm so glad I don't have autism.

>>9414029
enjoy your poisoning.

>>9414031
Enjoy being a retard

>>9414031
Let me guess, this is the new gluten rage.

But what are you supposed to wear now, now that you can't touch aluminum foil?

>>9414036
A fine layer of gluten between the meat and foil, actually.

>>9414027
Not only that but he tried cooking it in COLD oil.

Fucking guy.

>>9413876
>1/2 cup of sugar in a fucking sandwich
do americans really do this?

>>9414049
It's a big sandwich.

>>9412819
So you never eat at restaurants?

>>9414049
no one is eating that entire sandwich.

>>9414104
I think there are most likely a few people who would.

>>9414113
I would
I'm fat tho

>>9413876
When he was pulling those bones out....

>>9414191
Seriously, they should have censored that.

>>9414022
kek

>>9413966
>pancake isn't animated
>anime

>>9414036
>>9414034
>>9414029
Germany
France
Belgium
Great Britain
Switzerland
Hungary
Austria
Brazil

>places where the sale of aluminum cookware is banned

>>9414259
>what is bandwagoning

>>9412030
what the fuck did I just watch

>>9414049
yah ameristupids are retard stupid obese failyou're's

>>9413380
>triggered

>>9413092
>>9413078
you are in a food board and all you care about is telling people to go away because you are offended by politics you put in their mouth.
Let it sink a minute.
Then fuck off.

>>9414259
What are you on about?

>>9414036
>But what are you supposed to wear now, now that you can't touch aluminum foil?
criminally underrated

>>9413876
>the bones sliding straight out of the meat
That's the most satisfying thing I've seen in a while.

>>9413135
>w-what were you in p-prison for haha
>Excuse me, sir?
>o-oh nothing
Yeah I'm sure you'd look like such an alpha stud.

Fuck I miss these places.

>>9414663
Gold fish in the background watching on in horror.

>>9414670
Nice cross contamination going on there.

>>9412971
this is the only thing ive ever done wrong, i didn't think it took longer than a minute or two for the oven to preheat so ended up cooking everything 20+ minutes longer than it says on the package

>>9414705
i want to fuck one

>>9414022
still my favorite

>>9412268
YASSSSS

>>9414022
this shit is so fucking infuriating to watch lmao jesus christ

>>9414269
>for my health? oh no, I'm not getting on that bandwagon

>>9413876
Would make but hate the idea of chomping down on cartilage in my sandwich.

>>9413122
Totally lost my shit.

>>9414823
K I N O

>>9414705

Wow, I always wondered how paint rollers were made. I didnt know asians ate them.

>>9414540
Cheese with a side of tortilla chips

>>9414851
>i fall for fallacies when I wet my knickers

>>9413252
I seem to have missed something

>>9413075
turn 360 and walk away

>>9412819
Drop dead already, grampa

>>9412305

I need to see the conclusion of this. Please.

I would search it out myself but what the fuck is this dish called??

>>9414888
Garbage Stew

No I'm not kidding

>>9414022
>puts it in cold oil
amazing

>>9414036
>>9414872
It's fine for food to touch aluminum foil as long as it's being used for cold storage. The problem is when you cook in it. All aluminum cookware releases some traces of aluminum into the food, and even some foods contain it already, however cooking with foil leaches much more aluminum into the food than other types of cookware, such as pots and pans which have been specifically designed for cooking at high temperatures in. While there's no definitive proof that aluminum is bad for your health, it's suspected to to be linked to alzheimer's and other health issues. So the question isn't if it does leach into the food, it's whether you think consuming higher amounts of aluminum is a bad thing or not.

>>9413252

every day we stray further from God...

>>9414082

for you

>>9413203
nice one detective!

>>9412800
The whole process is wrong, starting with the fact the he put everything with the pan with no fire.

>>9412088


That'll be $4,000,000 + 35% gratuity.

>>9413078
This. My wife's son and I can hardly enjoy watching cooking videos anymore because of this /pol/ nonsense. Grow up, it's 2017

>>9413716

>>9413078
>This is a "left" board

>>9414540
>2 Tbsp Milk
>Pours in 1 cup milk

>>9413135
>Mocking a man who's been to prison
>Poeple who legitimately belong in proson tend to have poor impulse control
>"What were you in prison for boy?"
>"Assault with a deadly weapon."
>Stabs you in the neck

>>9415089

>>9413078
>tronglodites

You are obviously the best educated member of your family.

>>9412088
What up with these giant bowl/plate things. Huge waste of space.

>>9415192

>>9412882
It's voila retard

>>9415197
When you make art out of food, you need a canvas to work on. Better question; why would anyone want to waste their time taking perfectly good, nutricius and tasty food by making it into tiny portions and then charging $75 a plate for it? The only people who pay fr that shit are people too pretentious to actually appreciate it and anyone who loves food is not going to pay that much for that little even if it is that pretty.

>>9414022
>oil isnt even remotely hot

why is he such a fucking retard? surely he has atleast read a few comments on his videos, and when they are overwhelmingly negative and point out his failures yet he continues to do them.

>>9414008
That's chocolate?
I thought it was blue/blackberry sauce

>>9414271
spontaneous combustion

>>9415185
>not expressing your second amendment rights and gunning him down immediately as he says he's been in prison
I was in pier for my wife

>>9415270
He ignores or deletes them. He even disabled ratings on his recent videos because he kept getting a lot of negative ratings.

>>9413461
>defining yourself entirely by which way you lean
Ultra retard detected.

>>9415320
sigh....confirmed for eurotrash

>>9415328
From the homemade bleach video.

>>9415331
>leaning in a third direction that want's nothing to do with either the left OR the right.

>>9414022
>cold as shit oil

gets me everytime

>>9413716
caution: contents are juicy

>>9415342

>>9413135
You act as if the chef wouldn't just turn and walk away shaking his head or give you a mouthful of hell you have no way to respond to. If you've never worked in a kitchen you have no idea how highly strung some of these chefs are. Fights break out constantly in busy kitchens. You'd be fucking dead, kiddo.

>>9413252
Absolutely losing my shit over here

>>9414920
>While there's no definitive proof that aluminum is bad for your health
Really all you need to know right there.

>>9412030
That gif is so low quality I thought that was a live chicken at first, with feathers and all.

>>9413135
>being so autistic that you post a pathetic fantasy to an anonymous image board

I honestly feel second-hand embarrassment for you. Please stop embarrassing us.

>>9415573
DUAL WIELD

>>9414700
Thaat is the most horrifying attempt at satay I have every witnessed

>>9415598
Let's see if Ja/ck/ will make satay and you will have a new low

>>9414684
>cross contamination
>every surface is in constant contact with 212 degree steam

slow your roll there Mr. Health Inspector

>>9415573

priceless

>>9414920

>>9413078
learn to spell before attempting 3 syllable+ words sweetie.

>>9413122
the fucking egg crack onto another egg that he does drives me so fucking mad. you just KNOW he thinks it's SooOOooOOO FUCKING PROFESSIONAL fucking knuckle dragging idiot cunt I hate him so much

>>9415632

>>9414022
is he trolling us?

>>9414670
>Live in Hong Kong
>Enjoy dim sum
>Girlfriend doesn't
>Only go for dim sum when people are visiting

I live very close to Tim Ho Wan too!

>>9415640
>WA LA

>>9415660
Here's some nice Vintage Ja/ck/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHyXstpe_N8

He disabled comments because people just wrecked his shit over and over

>>9414022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6L4PANePHs

>>9415632
I understand peeves, and in no way do I condone Jack's behaviors, but 100 times out of 100 times, hitting two uncracked eggs together results in one of them cracking well, and the other being completely untouched.

This is also how you gather champion eggs, with only the strongest of shells, for important breakfasts.

>>9415664
Yeah I mean i have kept up with the guy for years now and he just never fucking learns dude. It's so infuriating. Guy has to have a fucking IQ of 82 or something and it makes me blood boil but I can't help but watch every new video that he comes out with every single fucking time just so I can hate him more and more

>>9415676
I take your word for what you've said. It's just that I fucking KNOW he thinks it's gods gift that he does it *that* way as if he considers it "professional" when he can't do the most basic of things in the kitchen and NEVER learns from his mistakes.

>>9415681
This is one of my favorites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKOtYmA-noY

>>9415640

>>9415664
>jack
>complaining about shit not being cooked all the way
fucking kek

>>9415664
>says california doesn't have good pizza
>says he's going to do a taste test of all the pizza
>oh so I guess he's going to go to califonia pizza places and try them out
>goes to fucking nationwide chains that make the same shit everywhere
>doesn't even taste it
Holy fuck. I don't really ever rage at jack videos but this one did it.

>>9415704
The classics are really the best rage porn

>>9413135
hows 8th grade going anon?

>>9415704
Here's another classic rager: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B09RF0ImYB8

>>9415691
Very agreeable, hence my initial clarification.

It's sad to think that potentially good information could be soiled by somebody presenting it so poorly and within such a river of bad information.

>>9415719
What is level 2?

>>9414522
I imagine the meat sighing with relief as the bones are removed

>>9415640
This guy has no concept of prepping ingredients before he starts cooking. He just grabs shit and turns on the camera, holy shit.

>>9415754
Sometimes that girl, he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y'know the thing about her, she's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until she bites ya.

>>9415754
wish that was my dick

>>9413252
"That'll be $7 + tip"

>>9415773

>>9415783


sauce plz holy fuk

>>9415783
>Hi Mom!
honestly feel bad for her

>>9415323
You had me until the bag of sauce

>>9415825
found the yuropoor

>>9413966
Touhou is my favorite anime.

>>9413078
False flag

>>9415765

fuckin kek

>>9412846
gold

>>9415256
><$75 a plate

Lmao fucking flyover, a Michelin star restaurant would charge like 100 for ten courses. You know nothing.

>>9415254
Try harder buster

>>9413252
what a mess

>>9414705
CHURROS??

/r/ raw chicken jack plz

>>9414540
does anyone have the video of something like this but they put like lollies and shit in it as well?

>235 / 60 / 123 / 1
Wonder what the chances are that the nearly all the samefags are jake posters

>>9413548
while this is true, it's a fact that 100% of kitchens are filled with ex-cons.

>>9412846
>not a bowl
ONE JOB

>>9415323
kek would eat

>>9414884
>>9413124
kill yourself degenerate

>>9415853
uhm you wish ;]

>>9415783
muh dik

>>9413876
>adds honey to store bought sauce
LOOK MOMMY I'M COOKIN!! :D

ruined by toasted bread too. you want soft bread with bbq

>>9414705

>>9415754
>you have to eat all the onions

>>9415816
i don't get it

>jack has 320000 subs
HOW?

>>9416032
He gets fewer views on his videos today than he did 4 years ago. Sub counts don't mean shit without views

>>9415197

>waste of space

is plate space intrinsically valuable?

>>9415719
Where the fuck does he shop? How does he find actual plates that have worse designs than paper plates?
That design screams "throw me in the garbage when you're done".

>>9412030
Can someone explain to me what's going on here?

>>9416076
He'a cooking a chicken in an improvised oven, badly.

>>9414700
>peanut sauce
>ground nuts

>>9416086
That bright orange mess and barrel is an oven?

>>9413252

i thought it was jack until the end...

>>9415664
>tfw the only ray of light in your life, the only thing which can cause a genuine smile or elicit a laughter is watching people fuck things up
Jack is my prozac

>>9416090
>heating food with radiated heat
Yup, that would be an oven.

>>9412088
this is why i'm a holocaust demander.

>>9412268
Okay I have seen this one before and I just want to know what the hell it is. Because it looks like some bread heals with whipped cream and strawberries while being covered with condensed dog shit.

>>9412848
Absolutely pointless.

>>9415773
>tfw no sipper little sister to intimately cuddle and keep warm for the night

>>9413252
Why can't we just have regular food.

>>9413876
I hate douche bag cooking.

>>9414540
Oh dear God.

>>9414022
M A X
F
I
L
L

>>9415904
No it's those damn squid things.

>>9415754
I came

>>9414700
I would still eat it for some chinkpussy as dessert

>>9414856

Well then don't use spare ribs.

>>9415598

what's wrong with it?

>>9415773
Why the hell do 4channers like this?

>>9412183
That's what he said you tosser. Kill yourself.

>>9416066
>all that blood
>"Here's your meal!"

>>9415664

>the fucking annotations meant to obscure the company address
>can just turn them off

>>9415640
Why put your butter in the fridge anyway

>>9415640
I think the Fitbit is the funniest part. You know this fat turd stopped using that after a week.

>>9414920
>>9415468
>>9415621
"Does this leached chemical or ingredient improve or maintain my health?"

No, then don't eat it. It is literally that simple.

>>9415640
what the fuck is wrong with him? How is someone like that even alive?

Another classic through less common

>>9412846
>hey honey can you cower in the corner so I can make a meem for 4chins

>>9415664
I don't know what it is, but there's something about his mouth that annoys me. It's like he's talking with a mouthful of cocks, like he only moves part of his mouth or something. Is it something to do with where he's from? Not an American so I don't know.

>>9416266
I was also always wondering why on earth he has this thing.
He certainly aint using it.
Maybe the same thing happened with it, as did with his ring?
He put it on, and after a few hours when he decided to pull it off because he did not like it, he already fattened up enough for it to be forever stuck?

And here's a webm of meat with the done-ness grade Jack would like. But unlike his shit, this is done on purpose and it's edible and delicious.

>>9415719
>eat before you eat
>most of you know what I'm talking about
>that way you don't eat too quickly with your woman
Surely he knows what he's implying here, or am I giving him too much credit?

>>9414920
Acidic foods cause aluminium to leach as well, hence you shouldn't store open tins of tomatoes etc.

>>9415783

Please tell me that's not Bella Thorne

>>9415468
what the fuck is with their eyes that's terrifying

>>9416304
They swapped the eyes. That person has chicken eyes and the chicken has human eyes.

>>9416314
fuck that's horrifying, I can't even stand to look at it

>>9415718
No Reimu on pancake no buy, i have seen the light

>>9415598
How do you make it?

>>9416320
>>9416314
>>9416304
I had no idea /ck/ was so autistic

>>9415783
This is the kind of semon demon you should never marry. You know that bitch ain't loyal.

>>9414705
Reminds me of some old RangArig porn.

>>9415754
She's wearing a wedding ring?

>>9413728
>one is well advised to dredge the 'dog in flour or corstarch before dipping
It seems like that's what he did here >>9414022 , but somehow the batter is actually refusing to stick to the floured parts.

>>9415783
I am going to the wrong parties.

>>9415328
Hah, you can actually see him doing a double-take at the inside of that burger, just with his hands. What a fucking idiot.

>>9412848
impressive

>>9413716
Can he not even tell the one in front isn't even cooked enough on the outside? I mean, I like a medium-rare burger, but the fucking beef isn't even charred in the slightest on the surface.

>>9416385

thanks grandpa

>>9416266
>fitbit
I only ever see hopeless fatties with fitbits. Healthy people don't need to be reminded to move their asses.

>>9416399
What, you think no chad has proposed her yet?

>>9416485
Hot af

>>9416485
Who's this pug?

>>9415648
ugh, sorry you have to live under chink rule m8

>>9416279
>tfw your gf is all in on your silly videos

>>9416244
>blood
that is sauce, Todd

>>9412889
this is exactly what i was thinking watching this

>>9416086
Why would you cook something that's already been cooked?

>>9416183
Pound cake that's been sliced into thirds, layered with sliced strawberries and whipped cream then covered in poorly melted chocolate

>>9414017
He didn't add any salt. It was Cajun seasoning.

>>9416227
Too thick, too lumpy and the flavors never really get a chance to meld properly satay shoulb be about as thick as plum sauce or hoisin and just as smooth. All the ngredients should spend as much time togther under heat as possible fo maximum melding of flavors. It sucks to get a piee of satay that's 90% peanut flavor and then another that's mostly peppers/spices.

Not that either of those flavors is bad, but when you EXPECT satay and get something different....

>>9412305
The second thing that pisses me off about this, less than the cold pot, but more than the absolute clusterfuck of a recipe itself, is how clumsy he is. Motherfucker keeps smacking his fist or whatever he's trying to add into the pot and sliding it all around. Of course, if he actually heated things before he cooked, he might be more wary of constantly touching his cookware.

Honestly, seeing all these webms and then finally giving in and going to his channel, I was surprised to hear that Jack doesn't have retardation-based speech impediment. When someone lacks motor skills to such a degree, I just automatically imagine they must have trouble forming words.

>>9412030
Laughed so hard at this.

>>9416777
Jack's voice is unironically panty peeler, das how he staked his claim on dat Tammy Puss

>>9416989
>"about to puke" expression
Yes, I imagine she makes that face a lot, involuntarily.

He looks like he has downs or something, though. Especially when he has that stupid bandana on.

>>9416758
I've never seen smooth satay sauce, maybe you don't like lumps, but apart from that your main problem is that the webm doesn't say "simmer for a couple hours"?

>>9417001
Nah, bra, she's all about the Ja/ck/ dick. He looks fine, stop playing around like this.

>>9417028
Would make sense. She's clearly comfortable putting intensely repulsive things in her mouth on a regular basis, whether it be in the kitchen or the bedroom.

>he looks fine, stop playing around like this
Why are you white knighting for Jack? What is this world coming to?

>>9416328
Toast the nuts
Run nuts through grinder attachment of kitchen aid 2-3 times

In a saucepan heat peanut oil until it starts to shimmer then sauté:
>garlic (crushed & minced)
>onion (minced)
>thai chilli (minced if fresh, ground if dried)

disolve Coconut sugar in JUST enough soy sauce to get the job done and add to the pan, reduce heat to medium and simmer until the liquid is gone then add coconut milk and bring up to a simmer.

reduce heat to low and simmer sauce loosely covered until about as thick as maple syrup.

pour into a dish as serve warm (but not hot) as a dipping sauce or use as BBQ sauce for asian grilled meat/veg.
Another option is to add rice wine vinegar or lime juice to it and use it as a marinade for cheap cuts of meat to make them tender and deliciusly asian.

>>9416447
Actually it looks like he's trying to dip a frozen corndog in batter to make a double-dipped corndog.

>>9416485
so
much
CRINGE

>>9415608
>roll
>role?

>>9417071
I found the video. He was using a "beef and cheddar" sausage. He actually ends up aborting those and starting over with the oil hotter and rolling the sausages in flour instead of caking it on. They don't come out perfect, but much better.

>>9417096
>beef & cheddar
>not using based bar-s hotlinks

>flour
>rolled/caked on
>Not using based cornstarch and proper dredging technique

>oil in pan
>not using the right tool for the job (i.e. stockpot or a DIYed fryer)

Jack, jack, jack....
Why do you do thid to yourself? An hour a day with Saint Brown would prevent so much of this tomfoolery.

>>9417048
"omg can you believe what this adult woman has to put up with?? I bet she's vomitting just thinking about the man she's married to!"

I just cannot understand how people like you are. Trying to make internet personalities' significant others complicit in your gang stalking, masturbatory, defamation. Obviously they don't agree with you, and it is in no small way pathetic that folks like you try to disassociate reality to meet with your sperg narratives.

>>9417142
>Obviously they don't agree with you
That's just because they're wrong and ARE complicit. She's a fat skank who couldn't do any better and settled for a bloated, neckless kumquat of a man with no cooking skills.

Don't worry, anon. I'm sure Jack appreciates you fighting the good web-fight for him and he considers you one of his closest, most personal internet friends. He is truly e-blessed to have someone like you in his cyber-corner.

>>9412088
I find those jump cuts quite satisfying.

>>9417167
she's not complicit with your sperg narratives
>oh but she IS complicit... with the guy's lifestyle... 'cause she's gross too.

nice formatting you've got there

>>9413122
Which video of Jack's is this?

>>9417333
https://youtu.be/zdE8yh0d1_0

>>9417199
>narratives
Easiest way to spot a retard is the use of this word. All the cud-grinding plebs seem to have latched onto it lately.
>Nice formatting
There was a time when separating different thoughts into paragraphs wasn't le reddit boogeyman. Just, you know, proper composition. Back to school, junior.

>>9413078
>pol 2.0: food edition
>left board
lmao

>>9417350
something tells me you didn't graduate summa cum laude, sport

>>9417361
>he disagrees with me
>and he has reasons
>...better just call him stupid
Go white-knight for some more e-celebs, ace. I'm sure one of them might mention your name in their videos eventually. All that hard work is gonna pay off.

>>9415783
Is there one with sound?

>>9417367
you flipped your position entirely during the exchange so I'm sure I was mistaken to consider you less than a paragon of reason

>>9417387
>you flipped your position entirely during the exchange
Haha, what? My position is and always was follows:
>Jack cannot cook
>he looks like a mongoloid
>his wife is a fat cow
>Jack REALLY cannot cook
>and you are a tool for defending him
How did I ever change any of that? Keep grasping. I'm sure you'll get a nice, sturdy straw eventually.

>>9417405
faggot

>>9417418
Impeccable.

>>9417405
The only valid positions you listed were that Jack cannot cook and that Jack REALLY cannot cook.

The rest is jus Ad Hom and meaningless drivel worthf of a child.

>>9417424
This is not about how "valid" my positions are. It's about whether or not I changed them. And I didn't. Anon is just butthurt I'm making fun of pretend internet people, probably because they are his only friends. Keep moving those goalposts.

>>9417442
I misinterpreted "Yes, I imagine she makes that face a lot, involuntarily.", regarding a puking face to mean she is disgusted with Jack. I thought that was your position but rereading it I guess you just think she involuntarily makes a puking face, so it was my bad. I thought ending by calling you a faggot was a funny and succinct way to step off, but apparently people are able to shitpile on fake internet people and it be legit, but if you defend them from random asshats then you're in the wrong and want a podcast with them.

>>9417459
>apparently people are able to shitpile on fake internet people and it be legit, but if you defend them from random asshats then you're in the wrong and want a podcast with them.
Finally, you understand. Was that so hard?

>>9417459
addendum, I'm not being facetious, there are multiple ways to interpret it and I only considered the one and it lead to the rest of that.

>>9417488
last thing I want is to air out my opinion on the two state solution with Jack Scalfani

>>9413078
>This is a "left" board

>>9415676

t. Jack

>>9414823

Man, Jack shaking his stupid piss jar always cracks me up.

>>9414271
Cremation.

>>9413966
>touhou
>anime

>>9415999
Need a hug?

>>9418133
>piss jar

You're joking, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGBicDY5bkE

>Pork

Oh boy...

>>9414259
>Brazil
BRfag here, can confirm that's not true. Sorry m8.

>>9414897

Well this explains all the other "food" he makes. Dude has such unbelievably low standards that he probably thinks he is an amazing chef