/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I'm interested.

>>9580603
Ah, fuck. Pretend that picture was the right way up.

Let's see if the ingredient shot works.

>>9580616
So far so good. Cheese, smoked ham, cream cheese, and good, soft white bread.

>>9580606
Don't get your hopes up, this is fairly simple. Unlike phone cameras, apparently.

>>9580634
Oh, god dammit. Okay, new tactic. As shown in that there pictur, chop off the crusts. We'll not be needing them.

Apply cream cheese. A thin, even layer will suffice; it's there to act as glue.

>>9580650
For once, an appropriate time for ham. Hack it about to fit the bread, you're no wanting anything hanging off the sides.

...huh. First time I tried to add this it said "possible malicious code". 4chan wants to protect you from making my mistakes.

>>9580668
Surprise guest: cheese grater! Say hello, everyone. He'll be helping us get that cheese into a usable form.

I'm monitoring this thread

Are you honestly going to deep fry a toastie?

WHAT THE FUCK man?

>>9580673
Here it is, uncensored cheese-on-ham action. Save it quick before the moooods get it.

>>9580685
It's for science!

and they call american food shit jesus

>>9580685
Worse.

As Limp Bizkit, in his infinite wisdom once said: Rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin.

>>9580603
I'll stick around to watch this trainwreck

>>9580698
Phase 2. This is the "overcoat" layer. Less filling, instead existing to shore up the roll and stop it from opening.

bless your wee 'eart

doin god's work me son

>>9580698
>>9580711
I'm looking forward to seeing this shit fall apart in the deep frier

>>9580714
I'm getting diabetes just looking at this
keep going

>>9580717

It will soak up all the grease in that damped thing.

This will never work.

>>9580717
I'm hoping he dunks it in batter, it'll survive then.

He may need more cream cheese to glue this shit though, that bit >>9580711 looks like it's come unrolled

>>9580711
Let the mating begin.

>>9580714
Aye, guid tae ken I'm on the righteous path.

>>9580717
>>9580720
>>9580722
Ye wee bastards wi' nae faith. I've got this shit locked the fuck down.

Some rolling, pressing and strategic tucking (I'm sure we all like a bit of that, eh?) and it's ready. This is why we use soft white bread: once squashed, it's lightly tacky and holds its shape well.

>>9580732
Go, my son. I cannot follow you on this journey, only wish you safe travel.

>>9580732
oh God, I can't watch this shit...

>>9580743
Oh shit

>>9580743
*titanic theme for incompetent flute player plays*

>>9580756
you got me on the edge of my seat

>>9580756
While our precious lumpy boy suffers in hell...fridge shot!

>>9580756
I swear this was forbidden in the British constitution.

>>9580771

And lo, he is risen, as the stories foretold. Singular in form. Singular in purpose.

>>9580717
>>9580720
Git fucked.

>>9580781
is this why the Scots want independence?

>>9580788
That... actually looks okay.

>>9580788
good lord man I need a cross-section

crumb shot

something
anything

>>9580788
congrats, enjoy your fatty cheese bun

^^^

>>9580794

It's still just a gloried toastie. Except instead of delicious butter he used aged deep fryer grease.

I don't get it mate.

>>9580806
Meant to ^^^ the cross section post. The nonbeliever can fuck himself.

>>9580789
Aye, pretty much. Poncy shites in parliament would have me hanged if they found this.

Here he is. The Boy, fat with the power of oil and cheese.

Money shot to follow. I know you want to see inside. I know you want to *be* inside.

>>9580799
Worry not, my fellow. Your reward is coming.

>>9580788
that does nae look too bad pal

>>9580788
Why the fuck scots deep fry everything

>>9580788
Mate your fryer look gross af

>>9580816
Staves off the dread

>>9580821
he probably gets a lot of use out of it, he's a scot after all

>>9580811
That burned carcass of sandwhich roll is sad

>>9580811
CUT IT OPEN

>>9580811
cut it already!

>>9580808
>>9580803
You know what? You might be right. It might not be impressive.

But tell me, does it not speak to you? Does its rotund, crispy form not call to you?

>>9580816
Our ancestors used tae lead predators tae tar pits where they'd fall in and get fried by the heat of the sun. Summat in our blood gies us a rush ae dopamine when we fry shite. I'm thinking Texas folk have a similar compulsion.

This is it, mates. Thanks for joining me on a journey of culinary - and personal - discovery.

May we meet again wan ae these days, wae a wad ae cheese in oor hands and a smile in oor heart.

>>9580837
>>9580843
Aye, aye, haud yer bloody wheesht. Took a bit tae get the greasy fuck doon the internet tubes.

>>9580845
Your Kiev's nae bad, lad

>>9580845
All memes aside this actually looks good, I think I'd put a smidge more cheese in though (personal preferences)

OP I hope you experiment more in the future - and share it with us.

>>9580845
You are literally redit, personified

>>9580845
god bless you, yer jock twat

>>9580845
Nah, fuck it, still looks delicious.
Lang may yer deep fat frier reek, ya wee gem.

>>9580855
Yeah, this is actually the second time I've made this. I added more cheese than last time. The ham helped too, and I might use some smoked cheddar if I do it again.

>>9580858
Reddit would add bacon. If you want to call op a fag go ahead but nothing is worse than people complaining about O.C.

>>9580771
>dan pak
>not lur pak

>>9580845
A food that we need, but we don't deserve

>>9580874
At least i didnae put in any bloody sriracha or avocado.

>>9580874
Ok, Pickell rick

>>9580845
looks like a chicken bake with ham though

>>9580845
maybe i SHOULD get a deep fat fryer for those godly midnight stoner snacks

i would become fat within like a month though

>>9580923
Fatter.
Ftfy.

>>9580923
Do it. You will never know true power until you've stood there with a deep fryer before you and a head full of ideas.

>>9580923
do it and make fried fish or wings

also just throw any crap that could be deep fried but currently do in the oven

>>9580603
Clean it you filthy animal

>>9580603
https://play.google.com/music/m/T3aqqvu5lmildqkdmm7ehud7zei?t=Carry_on_Wayward_Son_-_Kansas

>>9580876
Scots are penny pinchers, you should know that.
It's a mix of butter from Ireland (definitely not Denmark), which is fine, and palm oil, which is absolutely not fine.
On the upside it allegedly contains more butter (75%) than Lurpak spreadable (64%), but I wouldn't know because I do not buy spreadable.

>>9580603

It sounds almost as disgusting as the things served in so called "fast food" bars.

>>9580771
>shitstain in the fridge

>>9580845

>>9580845

fuckin... start tae feel the stomach rumble aye