/ck/ - Food & Cooking

cocaine

I'm going to bake my neighbors some brownies, then turn all the lights off and hide.

>>9611472

Sounds fun.

>>9611468
I usually cup a fart in my hands and blow it at them through the letterbox

Mints for the minorities, full size choco bars for the good children

Apple bags and oranges

>>9611468
A dark porch, dog barks, a disconnected doorbell, and an angry little man sitting in an unlighted room before a computer monitor with a shotgun across his lap.

>>9611519
>not freezing them with liquid nitrogen and eating them later

Whatever the first thing I see in poundland is

>>9611468
post proof you fucking faggot

>>9611575
heston, what do the regular people do for halloween in bongland?

>>9612754
Britfag here. It isn't a very big thing over here. Some kids usually do trick or treating, but not very many. They only do it because they've seen it on American TV shows to be honest.

Pubs and clubs might have halloween-themed events. But yeah, people over here don't care about it as much as you do in America. It's still a thing, but we just can't be arsed to care about it.

>>9611468
Nothing. I'll be at work til 11:30 pm.

>>9611468
Airheads and Ring Pops.

>>9613187
That's a shame. It's a fun holiday. Kids get to run around and eat candy. Regular women have an excuse to dress like sluts, and men get to look at them.

>>9613187
do you make jack o lanterns at all?
I mean... it wouldn't be halloween without jack-o-lanterns, and let's face it the pumpkin farmers count on it

>>9614031
My neighbor had a pumpkin carving party for some kids and the adults all got trashed and the kids carved these. It's in bumfuck nowhere so we still have those "muh traditional 'murrican values" type deals.

>>9614103
not too shabby

>>9614031
Bong here, yeah some families make lanterns but they rarely display them outside. The only time you can really get pumpkins in the UK is around the time of Halloween and they get sold really fast. But its more about the novelty of carving a pumpkin than the tradition itself.

Not much. I close my doors early after all the little kids have mostly finished.

I got four of those 200 piece assorted bags.

I tried and failed to find a bag of crybabies for myself.

Jack shit, 'cause I'm a selfish bastard.

>>9611468

Seventh Day Adventist brochures.

>>9614216
>giving trick-or-treaters some classic Jack stuff

going to be a pretty juicy root for some kids this year

I use to hand out pomegranates but some fat fucker threw one at my house. That little shit cant understand that 1 pomegranate (organic parfianka variety) is like 3 dollars if you bought it from a farmers market.
Now none of those ingrates get shit.

>>9611519
how do you open the slot without spilling the fart

>>9614224
lol i was raised sda and halloween was a no-no in my family and for pretty much everyone i knew
sucked

>>9614224
>not handing out ths superior jehovahs witness, "The Watchtower."

Get on my level, heretic.

I open the door while eating a candy bar and tell them I don't have anything. Pro-tip: don't finish the candy bars after closing the door but instead save it for the next kid that comes knocking, this saves money and calories!

>>9614201
Same here. Kids can trick or treat until 9 pm in my town, but all the little kids are done by 6 or 7 usually.

>>9611519
Amateur hour in this thread. What you should be doing is waiting for the families to walk up to your door then tell the kid that if he reaches his hand through the letterbox he will get all the candy in the world and then when they put their little arms through you hit them with a tire iron

I’ve been handing out Jarritos the last few since I know someone who works there and I get free drinks.
The kids seem to like them, despite weighing their bags down.

>>9614405
Careful with that edge, Son.

>>9614409
I really fondly remember the house that gave out cans of Faygo every year, so I bet the kids love it.

>>9614424
My mother never bought soda so I loved it when houses handed it out.

>>9611468
>manhattan

flyover scum pls go

>>9614330
jehovah's witnesses are heretic as fuck
weirdo

Rate

>>9614236
>That little shit cant understand that 1 pomegranate (organic parfianka variety) is like 3 dollars if you bought it from a farmers market

why didn't you just give the kids $3 each?

>>9615379
You would run out of cat

Tootsie rolls with razor Blades

>>9615431
those tootsie rolls must be gigantic or do you mean razor blades with tootsie rolls stuck to them?

>>9611468
Nickles and pennies

i give them one fun sized snickers

>>9615379
Vacuum your disgusting cat piss smelling house /10

American smarties, it was the cheapest thing I could find.

>>9616048
Chalk or chocolate
And if you dare fucking say chalk i will find you

>>9612754
lmao the "implication"

Denis Reynolds is god

>>9614230
under cooked just a tad

are you howard stern

>>9611468
peanuts

>>9616259
who?

>>9611468
I live in a pretty nice gated community with a guard at the gate and a 24/7 armed patrol, 900 homes, clubhouse, 6 parks, pool.
3 years ago HOA board is approached by the city and some church groups, ask to bring in underprivileged from some public housing on the other side of the city.
We are 98.5% white, kids will be mainly black.
Community had been on TV because of our holiday displays, whole place gets into it.
They all show up to a community meeting, local news is there too. It's about giving kids hope, please, please, your not a bunch of racists?.
Gets approved.
1st year pretty good, all little kids, they show up in school buses. Some parents cry and thank us.
2nd year, mostly teens, did 25k damage to our clubhouse, we had 13 homes burglarized, 2 cars stolen and an adult in costume threaten to rape a 78 year old woman who refused to give him candy since it is for kids.
3rd year, this year, almost no Halloween displays up, no clubhouse haunted house, pool is closed, the security will have 15 guys patrolling.
Most people on my email list will not be turning on lights or giving out candy, couple of guys intend to sit in the garage with their AR's ready to go.
Probably going to be not too good, last year they had 50 buses, supposed to have more this year, with lights off and no goodies, it is not going to be a good time for the project people.

I'm handing out cotton balls to all the black kids who trick or treat at my door

>>9617905

You should write a novel, you have the imaginative talent.

>>9611468
razor blades with apples inside them

>>9614155
>The only time you can really get pumpkins in the UK is around the time of Halloween and they get sold really fast

wtf?

>>9617936
history repeats itself...

>>9611551
Go back to your containment board.

>>9618384
Fuck you nigger, he can do what he pleases.

>>9614409
what does jamaica taste like?

>>9611468
Nothing. What kid would come to any random neighborhood when they could go to the rich part of town and get handed entire bags of candy?

>>9613187

Halloween is a bastardization of Samhain, which is huge here in Ireland. Bonfires for days.

Pixy Sticks only the candy is replaced with flour

>>9618384
>ah boo boo someone doesn't conform to my gay idea of the world

fuck off faggot

>>9611468
>giving someone you don't know things for free for no reason

cuck

>>9614103

Amateur.

$250+ on the electric bill this month.

>>9618450

Charity is one of the 5 pillars of Islam.

Philanthropy feelsgudman.

>>9614103
Why would you take a pic as you're running by?

>>9618488
What part of "the adults got trashed" did you not understand? In my booze addled cranium I probably thought it would look spookier if I jiggled the camera a bit. I dropped my phone shortly thereafter and now have a spider web screen on my phone.

>>9614409
yo that stuffs good, id love getting that as a kid

>>9618418
In Tallaght the local knackers have been stealing anything not nailed down for weeks ahead of their halloween bonfires

>>9612754
also, I don't know if you are the asshole that made that thread, but the OP there literally replied to himself for hours for le epic screen. fucking cancer

>>9618942

Cork here, already got some naggins of whiskey for the Aos Sí. My sons have been in the garden for days looking for them. Should be fun.

I'm a black male living in a mostly white neighborhood.

Giving all the Asian kids King sized Snickers and White Chocolate Hersheys bars cause that is all I have.

Giving all the white children pennies.

>>9618959
....i-is the whiskey for your sons?

>>9619022
Noones coming to your door anyway nigger lol

>>9619022
way to go against the stereotype. go eat your fried chicken and watermelon darkie.

Mad as fuark. :^)

>>9619022
Pennies is too overt. Give them all the poopy candies that kids eventually eat but don't really want, like smarties, sweet tarts, twizzlers, etc.

>>9619159
I like smarties so I'm keeping those. Will candy corn be shitty enough but not too obvious?

>>9619173
Trust me, white kids love candy corn. Just turn them away at the door, man. They gotta learn to hate black people sooner or later anyway.

>>9611468
beatings

>>9619173
Some people love candy corn, could go either way. Same with Twizzlers really. But I think enough people hate all of these things for you to be sufficiently annoying

>>9619179
>no candy gibs
>"wtf? I hate black people now!"

>>9619095

For the other folk. You don't know much about the roots of Halloween do you? Booze and sweets keep the Aos Sí away and happy.

>>9619022

0/10 bait, no idea why anyone is replying.

>>9619203
people hate niggers. It's a natural reaction.

>>9619185
What about raisins? Raisins are vile.

>>9619214
Those are fighting words.

>>9619214

Good wine is made from raisins.

>>9618393
Kinda floral, almost hibiscus.

>>9618393
Hibiscus and Mexican sweat

>>9619022
Why pennies?

>>9619200
I know that fires and dressing like ghosts and jack-o-lanterns were all supposed to spook the spookies

>>9619352

It's more about fairies in Ireland, and appeasing them because they're unkind. Booze and sweets pacify them, somehow in America Aos Sí translated into "spirits" then the entiee Halloween industry mutated from this foundation. It's more interesting there than here.

>>9619214
>Raisins are vile
have you thought about what college you’re attending after graduation in a few years?

>>9619325
Because they have Abraham Lincoln on them and he freed the slaves. It's a way of saying thank you.

>>9617905
>900 homes
are there actually gated communities that big? can't tell if text was troll or not

>>9619325
It used to be a traditional thing way back in the 40s and 50s when a penny was worth much more and enough people did it that kids would get enough over the afternoon to actually buy something.

>>9619415
It is a made up story.
>adult threatening to rape a 76 year old.

>>9617945
>imply niggers don't exist

Get out more.

>>9620016
>using outdated norms of sexuality

>>9620400
you can't even make this shit up anymore

>>9614409
They probably drink them along the way to quench their thirst and then litter them like the assholes they are.

Most kids skip my house, I guess its too creepy on its own or something

>>9616237
Wtf I love right libertarian now?

>>9620400
so, what kind of slap on the wrist did he get?

Snickers and kit kats for the white kids. Niglets get milk duds.

I plan on leaving an empty bowl with exactly 5 dum dum pops and a note that says "take only 1 please", because handing out candy is for suckers and old people.

I'm going to a halloween party dressed like a schoolgirl and I'm gonna enjoy it.

>>9619384
>Giving booze to fairies to keep them on side.
What a weird little island, I feel sorry for the loyalist who have to share it with you.