/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9706213
gottem

>it is not possible to manually enter an item or price, sir
>let me call up my manager
>wait five minutes for manager to arrive
>he says we can't sell these yet because they're not in our system
>thank you for waiting. have a nice day

>>9706306
that manager sounds like a faggot

>go to checkout
>items have clearance stickers from other items swapped on to them
>demand the manager to honour the price they’re listed at by the sticker

>>9706333
This picture is avsurd, she couldn't possibly eat that much bread.

>>9706213
>work at ______
>item won’t scan
>”That means it’s free right? : o )”
>get arrested for brutally murdering that customer

>>9706393
>at checkout
>item won't scan
>wait patiently for clerk to punch it in manually
>autistic clerk stutters a bit and says "h-heh, normally people say "guess that means it must be free right"

>>9706393
That sums up why people who work in retail learn rather quickly to hate humanity. If they only knew how often we've heard what they think is a brilliant, original, humorous remark their face would turn beet red with shame and embarassment. And when we don't even crack a smile, they bitch to the manager we have an attitude problem.

>>9706213
>notice sign saying "10 items or less"
>demand they fix the grammar or I'm never shopping there again

>work at grocery store
>hear the same fucking dumb jokes and phrases day in and day out
>smile and laugh pretending as if the customer just made my day by being so witty

>>9706393
>customer at ______
>item won’t scan
>"how much is this?"
THAT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB IDK $1?
>"idk maybe $1"
>"im just gonna go check"
>queue is getting longer and longer
>stand there awkwardly
>after what feels like an eternity the cashier comes back
>actually these are 3 for 2, you have two so do you want to go grab another one?
WHY DIDNT YOU JUST GRAB ONE WHEN YOU WERE THERE RETARD
>"haha im good"
>never return

>>9706213
>>be at grocery store
>>buy groceries without any issues
>>go home and prepare food
Why? Because I'm not an autistic faggot.

>>9706393
I do this to make the cashier visibly shaken. Bonus points for tears.

>>9706213
laughed. good twist desu

>>9706345
says you

>>9706744
>they bitch to the manager we have an attitude problem.
do Americans really complain about this? I wouldn't care less if the cashier doesn't smile or whatever.

>>9706756
I'm 2 months out of retail after almost 14 years and there's no way I'll go back. Every day is monotonous and soul draining.

>>9706393
>>item won’t scan
>>”That means it’s free right? : o )”
>crack up laughing, burst into treats
>get on the intercom, still laughing hysterically
>"haha attention, valued customers, haha this jokester at register 3 thinks he can get something for free since it won't scan. Hahaha Isn't that hilarious? What a clever guy."
>turn off intercom but continue to laugh loud enough so everyone in the store can still hear me
>go back to register, abruptly cease laughter, look him sternly in the eyes and tell him, "no. It is not free."

>>9706393

>be at store
>item won't scan
>look cashier dead in the eyes as I say
>guess that makes it free
>No smiles
>No laughter
>he knows that I'm saying it specifically to fuck with him

Favorite meme.

>>9707109
It's almost exclusively the middle aged and overweight women who cause problems for cashiers. I don't know what they expect from grocery stores, but the service is never good enough to satisfy them.

>>9706393

I enjoy it when people bitch about their jobs to me, it gives me an excise to make them feel bad by hitting them with the most fucked up shit I have.

>item won't scan
>just sit there patiently
>man, thanks for not making that "wow it's free" joke, everyone does that
>that must be pretty terrible
>yeah it's the worst
>you're right, reminds me of the time I was patrolling the boonies when I was a deputy sheriff, long story short some drug dealer shot me in the leg as he tried to run away
>I tourniqeted myself and sat there for 8 minutes before medical showed up, thought I was going to die
>but yeah, there's no way I could do this retail shit, fuck that, your job is bad
>t-thanks, you too

The key is to look and sound totally sincere, and maybe actually show off the scar.

>at checkout in grocery store
>item isn't getting scanned right
>cashier bags it and keeps going
>nod thanks at cashier

Try treating people like humans and getting to know them. Being consistently polite and friendly isn't that hard, but is uncommon enough these days that it gets noticed.

>>9707237

Man that's so fucked.

>>9707320
Naw, I guarantee the cashier in that scenario gives 0 shits about this dude or his fucked up leg. It's just another asshole incapable of small talk.

>>9707303
I did this with cheap items when I was a cashier. Customers were never as appreciative as I expected them to be. Most people didn't seem to notice.

>>9707237
>obviously fake story told by overweight incel who's closest experience with law enforcement was being stopped by mall cops for trying to take a food court cinnamon bun without paying.
>sure got them

>>9706306
I've stolen goods from stores for things like that. Fucking walmart.

>>9707411
>Marked down baked goods.
>Slap the sticker on a brand new Nintendo switch.
>3.25 for my very own chink brand autism amplifier.
>buy mario oddesy. Peel the sticker off and put it on a .25¢ 126kb SD card.
>return.
>target and China BTFO.

>>9707109
>work as bartender
>setting up bar
>host lets someone in 15 minutes before we open because it's cold
>tells them we won't serve them but they can sit until we open
>they sit at the bar
>i continue setting up bar
>they complain i didn't greet them cheerfully

>>9707174
This. I get off on seeing their pained expressions. They have to take it and they know it.

>hey, this salad expired yesterday but it looks fine. Can I get it half off?
>cashier takes the bag out of my hands and throws it in the trash
>sorry, he says, I can't sell expired food. Managers orders.

>hide a pack of coke under the cart
>cashier never sees it
>coke for free

hehe stupid cashiers

>>9707563
they aren't wrong. if you got sick they could be in huge trouble. it's stupid but they need to protect themselves

>>9707489
she sounds like such a bitch, what the fuck did she expect for a greeting? a red fucking carpet?

>>9707693
>see it
>manually add a $5 post without saying anything
>you don't want a receipt

hehe stupid custmers

>>9707399

Sorry I can't hear you over me being a cop.

>>9706744
>>>9706393
>That sums up why people who work in retail learn rather quickly to hate humanity. If they only knew how often we've heard what they think is a brilliant, original, humorous remark their face would turn beet red with shame and embarassment.
I think you are greatly overestimating how much anyone gives a shit about you

>>9707816
>I think you are greatly overestimating how much anyone gives a shit about you
welcome to humanity

>>9707781
Nigga i piss 5$

>>9707839
totally, that's why you need to steal at the store

>>9707852
Never stole anything in my life

>>9706213
>at checkout at grocery store that now sells beer and wine
>double check that checkout is marked as an alcohol friendly checkout - and that the clerk looks over the age of 18
>pull wine out of basket, place on conveyor
>"Sorry sir, I can't ring through wine or beer at this time."
>Check time... 7:30pm
>"Ok, I'll put them back, shall I flip your sign around on my way over?"
>"No, it's ok. I'll deal with it"
>My items are put aside, I go to take wine back to its home, cashier starts ringing in next customer.
>Everyone in line has alcohol... three registers, one with a sign designating it as the location to purchase alcohol, nobody in the store can legally sell it.
>Place wine at child-friendly height next to the cookies and leave the store to purchase everything elsewhere.

I can blog too

>>9707945
>american laws

>Item won't scan.
>"Well, It was supposed to be like five dollars, can't you just scan it like that?"
>Manually type in the barcode.
>Item rings for two bucks.
>Look at customer.
>'If you want, I can correct the price for you so it is five bucks.'
>"You wouldn't"
>'I can.'

>>9707971
>Canadian... same shit, but cheaper hospital bills

>>9707945
>alcohol friendly checkout
This is a thing? Where/why?

>>9708065
Because minors cannot sell alcohol in (most?) states where they are too young to purchase it.

We put kids behind registers at 15, they can't be involved in alcohol transactions till they are 21.

If everyone working at a gas station at a specific time is a minor, no beer for you.

>>9708065
Some of our grocery stores started selling alcohol, but being the quintessential babby's first job, not everyone is licensed to sell it.

>>9706752
"Not quite 11 items"?

>>9707945
I've been in a Aldi where one checkout had a sign saying unable to sell alcohol because some muzzie faggot was working the tiles, no sign about pork products though.

>>9707815
How's ol' P.D. Taylor doin these days?

>>9708287
It's not because of their religion, it's because of their age. There is no prohibition against selling alcohol for Muslims. Morocco is even a wine-producing country, but it is only exported or sold to non-muslim tourists.

>>9707237
Enough internet Dave.

>shop at asian supermarket
>cashier is skilled, always fast, and doesn't need my help identifying produce the store sells

>>9708253
"Ten items or fewer"
It's a reference to IJ but I guess OP didn't find it funny enough to give me a (you)

I worked in a grocery store for three years, probably the closest i've come to killing myself. Shame you didn't stay etc.

>>9708324

He's a fuck, obv. Marginally better than Whetsel.

>"paper or plastic sir"
>ask for paper in plastic

>>9708545
I bring a box so it goes faster.

>>9708353
>go to asain super market
>get stabbed 3 times when I walk out of the state

wow that spicy ramen is pretty good

>>9708084
>>9708088
Where I'm from, they won't hire anyone younger than 18 at places that sell alcohol. Pretty sure it's a law.

>>9708928
Places that strictly sell alcohol have to hire over 18 here. Grocery stores get away with it because they don't pay enough to hold on to anyone but students.

>>9707815
I can see in your chubby, pussy, stubby hands that you're really low test.
Having gotten shot doesn't make you tough, specially if all it did was give you ammo to treat others like a douche.

>>9707815
Farva?

>>9707861
lol loser

>>9707815
>carrying a sig as an American leo
Are fishnets and lacy thongs part of the uniform now too?

>>9707237
You sound like a fun guy to be around.

>>9707237
They don't feel bad. It just makes them think you're a fucking tool.

>>9706306
>it is not possible to manually enter an item
Maybe if you're retarded.

>>9706393
>work at hotel
>every person checking in has to sign a piece of paper indicating they won't bring in any pets
>dipshits who think they're clever say "guess that means my spouse/child/friend/companion can't stay here then HAHAHA"
>one time I had literally 7 or 8 people in a row make that joke

>item won't scan
>"this is 4.38 per pound and 1.6 pounds, I'll just ring you up for like.. $6.50?"
>customer nods
>scan it for 6.50
>customer immediately freaks out saying the price is 4.38 and asking for manager

>>9710612
>barcode won't scan
>UPC not in the system
Loss prevention protocols forbid me to sell this product, retard.

>>9707237
I work as a concierge, I can tell that usually when a guest is telling me a tale I really don't pay attention and I just say "that's nice" or "oh, wow".
You know, just letting you know nobody cares. In my case tho, I have to pretend I do in order to get a commission or two.

>>9706213
Did not see that coming.

>>9707029
...do you really think a cashier has the price of every single item in the store memorized?

>>9707394
>>9707303
when I was quitting my cashiering job, I just gave away free shit to every single person. Had to be inconspicuous, always afraid some goody-goody will notice the missed item and head to customer service to pay for it, then I'm fucked

>>9707475
>put LCD tv on scale at self-check.
>put in code for nanas.
>walk away with $4 TV.

too scared to actually do it, but I do put in the code for Galas when I buy Honeycrisp apples.

There is a pile of organic pumpkin seeds at the back right corner of my local LIDL and I'm pretty sure they've forgotten about them. I buy a pack every time I go in and I'm pretty sure they just make the price up because its been rung up 20 cents to 4 dollars each time, after a 10 minute wait of course.

>working checkout
>guy waits in line with an empty basket
>when he gets to the front he asks me which are the good types of apples
>just say the first type that comes to my head
>"thanks"
>he pushes back through the line
>later he's in the cue again
>he has a massive bag full of apples and nothing else
>"uh did you find them okay?"
>"yeah I'm good at shopping"

>>9711424
expand please, I am not familiar with this practice.

I hate going to the grocery store so much. Why is there always some fat person with their motorcart fucking parked infront of three different produce fridges.

>>9711424
Just enter it manually, retard

>>9713605
you caaaaaaaan't fuckwit
i literally don't have the ability to

>>9706485
Wow. You really are a smart.

>>9707043
You are the problem in someones life moron.

>>9713692
Do you have a single fact to back that up?

>>9707971
That's wrong though, we do not have designated check out lines for alcohol, or a time that non-ABC stores can sell alcohol until.

>>9713706
Me, stop living now.

>>9706345
From my experience its really easy to eat enormous amounts of bread if its just bread by itself.

>>9713568
What apple?

>>9713605

>Customer puts in a request for Bagel Dogs
>put in the order and magically appears in delivery load 6 days later
>UPC doesn't exist in system and adding requires pushing the item to corporate
>corporate fucks around for no less than 58 days in getting a UPC made
>whole time it has to sit in my freezer losing date and customer screams at me every week for not selling them the item I have in the back

Entering a number manually into a system that doesn't recognize it does fuckall, retard

>at grocery store
>decide to bypass human interaction and head for the self checkout
>get behind a baby boomer
>he is completely unable to figure out how to use the scanner, despite the technology being developed for addicts and teenagers to do their job with the barest minimum of competence
>he gets angrier and angrier as the computer keeps asking him to remove the last item from the bagging area
>I finally realize why American industry is dead

>work at a Target
>customer asks me to check and see if they have something "in the back"
>go to the back
>see a whole shelf full of the item she wants
>stare at it for 10 minutes
>guy that sells weed walks by
>go with him to his car and buy some weed
>go back in
>"Yeah its not back there either, sorry."

>>9706744
usually right before I go to pay for something with my debit card I say to the cashier “I hope this card works I just found t in the parking lot!” as I punch in the PIN.
Usually get a pretty good laugh from the cashier.
Please tell me this isn’t a line that’s heard often, it would absolutely crush me.

>>9714726
I hear it all the time from niggers

>>9713718
That's terror.

>>9707475
I do this with steak all the time

>>9714719
Mother fucker I hope this is a fake story

>>9714772
I do that to customers who ask if we have .22lr in all the time at my store.
We got pallets of that shit.

>>9713742
>Sell item as Misc/store fixture.
>Set price to what item is sold as.
>Wa fucking la.

>>9714772
100% true.

Anyone going to look "in the back" is just trying to get away from you.

>>9714783
I actually got yelled at once by my boss for going in the back and checking the computer to see if we had an item for a customer.
Mostly because he was having a employee barbecue outside the furniture loading area and he wanted me to eat something.
Can't really say no to his carne asada.

>>9714772
Don't worry, these kind of low level jobs will be made obsolete soon enough.

>>9707237
http://www.tulsaworld.com/homepagelatest/ellis-county-deputy-shot-in-leg/article_f8ab77df-0141-530e-ab8e-f2d9cd670014.html

http://kfor.com/2017/01/01/police-investigating-valley-brook-police-officer-shooting/

http://abc6onyourside.com/news/local/deputy-involved-shooting-in-fairfield-county

http://fox40.com/2017/09/14/family-of-officer-shot-in-leg-in-south-sacramento-speaks-out/

You guys get shot a lot. Ever thought about dodging a bullet for once?

>>9714802
I know, I heard in San Francisco they deliver weed by drones

>>9714828
I was in ninth grade once, too

>>9714719
Stop trying to frame us you piece of shit, this is why they never believe us when it's really not back there.

>>9708022
>le healthcare is free meme

We pay on average somewhere like $1,700 a year towards healthcare in taxes, and the service is much, much worse than the US. Even if you don't use healthcare that year you are still paying.

I doubt the average Yank pays $1,700 a year in health insurance, or if they do they get a solid amount of benefits.

>>9715530
Oop I'm dumb. In my head I was thinking $1,700 a month for Americans, not year. Ya I guess we pay a lot less then.

>>9707152
>burst into treats

t. piñata

>>9708022
>>9715530
>>9715535
Okay pardon my 'tism. The figure I found is around $6,300 a year per Canadian to sustain the system. Not counting insurance premiums which over half of Canadians who work have.

>>9715535
The average yearly healthcare spending for Americans was $9900 in 2015, and I don't know what makes you think the service is so good. You have to pay more to see a competent doctor.

>>9715549
Ah okay. And converting the currency either way puts your spending close to double ours. Still, at least in the US you can pay more for a great doctor. Here you are stuck with doctors who are wage capped and who each have hundreds of patients if not more. Too lazy to look up the figure but yeah.

>>9707152
That makes me audibly kek

>>9715565
There has got to be a way to combine the two systems, like baseline care at an affordable rate that is always available with the option to spend more for "luxury" care.

>>9707152
I heartily chuckled, thanks anon

>>9707237
hahahaha
faggot

>>9707029
>THAT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB
Actually, it's not their job.
Their job is to explicitly scan items, enter in codes, collect tender, and maybe bag. Not to have a photographic memory of the cost of thousands of items. Most people check the price before they throw it into mummy's buggy, you're just mad bc it makes you look like a fool.

>>9715575
Well actually I hope to be a politician one day and I do have an idea for a system that combines the two to be affordable.

Charge patients for all healthcare expenses under $1,000 per receipt, and keep the expensive surgeries and procedures on the public dime. I feel like just going for random checkups is one of the most expensive things in our system, and when you hear about the US system the biggest complaint is how you go bankrupt to pay for a life saving or altering surgery.

The $1,000 number is just a shot in the dark but I think it would be fair. Keeps people from just going for a checkup every month if they can't afford it. Nobody except those with diseases / irreversible health conditions and the elderly need to see a doctor that much (fatties and unhealthy folks do but they should pay out of pocket.)

>>9706213
>Do you have [product]?
>No I'm sorry
>Can you check the back?
>We don't have the product in the store
>Well can you check the back anyway?
>Go to back and look at phone
>No we don't have it


Bitch why the fuck would I lie about not having a product

>>9710237
what's wrong with SIGs
>not copAnon btw

>>9715598
People think the backroom is a magical place where you're hiding massive piles of backstock. Usually the only backup we have there is maybe ad items, or whatever the soda vendors shove back there.

>>9715542

>>9707237

I thought the Sheriff's office screened for autism.

>Go to a grocery store and get some things
>Standing at the checkout line
>Had been a cashier at a grocery store for a year when I was younger
>I know how it feels to have someone say the dumbass shit they always say
>Have to spread my past misery so when an item doesn't scan I simply look them in the eye and say "Must be free then eh?"
>Leave laughing at having chipped away at someone's soul similarly to how mine was

>>9715690
You'd be surprised. There are cops on r9k who post just like any of the other autists.

>>9707815
thank you for all you did on 9/11 officer

>>9706213
I like going to grocery stores and reminding them that they are simple peasants. For example one of my favorite grocery store past times is knocking over bottles of olive oil or tearing a bag of flour and pouring it on the ground.

Then complaining to the manager and waiting for the lowly stock boy to come clean it up reminding him the whole time this this is under acceptable and that they are all lazy.

The local Walmart produce department has a lot of simple minded workers so that is one of my hot spots they just say sorry a million times and take it like they should. Sometimes I even get a discount or a gift card.

>>9715881
Ill take things that never happened for 200

>>9707815
Does your dad know that you're messing with his shit?

>work receiving
>never have to help retardeds that can't even wipe their own ass

>>9715596
>Discourage preventative care
>Only pay for big expensive surgeries
Sounds smart man

>>9715901
You underestimate me. Cute.

>>9706213
It was probably electrical infetterence

>>9715936

>psshhh.... nothin personnel.... kid

>>9715596
Not really a good idea. When your cancer meds are $700 a week at the pharmacy and you have to take them for years at a time, what are you gonna do? Stop taking the drugs until you're so sick that you need costly emergency surgery?

>>9706213
Fuck PLUs.

>>9707815
you better hope your dad doesn't browse /ck/ faggot

>old people who try to return items you don't even sell
Just why

>>9715596
This is fucking retarded. Lack of preventative care is one of the reasons healthcare is so expensive in the first place and you want to disincentivize it?

>>9707237
And this is why you're gonna die a wizard. And no craigslist hookers don't count.

>>9715881
>what is cctv
>doing that more than once in the same store

yeah no kiddo, that didn't happen.

>>9709227
You work as a cashier. Fucking loser lmao

>>9706744
>That sums up why people who work in retail learn rather quickly to hate humanity

Really?
It sounds to me, more like it's just proof that retail works are arrogant fuckwits, who've never had any experience outside of their little bubble and are incapable of understanding or realizing that other jobs also have shit like this happen.