/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9772042
>using a knife to crack an egg
Is this a ja/ck/ webm?

Is that for something else and he's just messing around putting eggs in it or is that it's actual purpose?

>>9772068
It's its actual purpose.

>>9772071
>used a bottle opener to open a bottle after some underwhelming movements

>>9772042
>cooking an egg into a dildo

>>9772064
>witchcraft

>>9772042
what self respecting person would spend money on such a useless egg cooking device.

>>9772081
>cooking an egg into a dildo

you mean a fleshlight?
moron

>>9772090
:^(

>>9772074
Very odd.

>>9772115

>>9772090
I don't get it

>>9772042
Looks like a turd coming out

>>9772113
This kills the American.

>>9772132
How does this not damage the chicken carcass?

>>9772137

>>9772142
It rips and tears but does not break. Just rubber and friction bro

>>9772132
no way. perfect

I actuall grow chicken and this would be handy

>>9772095
It wasn't hollow, retard.
>>9772090
>doing this shit
This is why I am fine with vegan screeching.
>>9772121
Do Europeans really do this?

>>9772042
AvE deconstructed this, and i would not let any of my food touch this knowing what's inside

>>9772095
cooking an egg in a fleshlight
cooking an egg into a dildo

>>9772143
I hope nobody thinks that this time-interval stacking machine is revolutionary at all. If they had vacuum technology back in the 1400's they could have made this exact same thing, minus the little arrogant dance it does at the end.

>>9772169
>eating hotdogs
Ishiggy

>>9772169

>>9772071
i wonder how many times he's been asked to exchange the beer

>>9772171
Yeah, it's not even that great at what it does. In the time it took to do that one, a normal worker could have made about five.

>>9772189
At least it isn't an english muffin pizza.

>>9767642
>The secret of oriental longevity

>>9772171
>if they could have done this in the 1400s they could have done this
no fucking shit

>>9772206
Good ole govmt cheese man.

>>9772233
jesus christ I'm having flashbacks to seeing the stroggification scene from quake 4 for the first time

>>9772058
jack punches eggs

>>9772090
I thought he was going to put gas in it

>>9772232
It's German.

There's a fly buzzing on it's back about 1 foot from me. I don't like to kill things. I does life suck? bit of sugar water on the face. Whyused a toothpick to drop a tiny

>>9772272
sugar water

>>9772090
This is for biological/scientific research to study a cow's digestive tract.
It's very very expensive to do, but the cows are surprisingly happy and don't care too much apart from the initial discomfort.

>>9772291
>apart from the initial discomfort
apart from the initial discomfort of us surgically implant a viewing hole in your tummy you should bequite happt

>>9772171
>little arrogant dance it does at the end
It's applying ketchup and mustard to the top bun you blind bastard.

>>9772143
>cutting edge robot design is based on how to produce more burgers
the wrong guys won ww2

>>9772301
They don't really exhibit a lot of stress from it apart from the days following the operation.
They live fine long lives with the cannula in their side

>>9772121
Hello!

>>9772349
Hey!

>>9772355
>how to get retards to scorch their lips on hot glass.webm

hot

>>9772143
y tho

>>9772042
EGG DILDOS

>>9772394

>>9772115
Chinaman icecube

>>9772233
>this kills all the crabs

>>9772281
ahh the good times
when they only had to put one person of colour in the ad

>>9772064
Magic beer.

>>9772418
>xD
Fuck off redditurd

>>9772090
can i get inside the dog and drive him like a car?

>>9772443
Would you stick your dick in hear??

>>9772454
how the hell do they clean those machines?

>>9772439
who are you quoting

>>9772064
>No heads on any of the beers

It's shit

>>9772346
Not bad. Now superimpose the pancake over the airplane.

>>9772106
how much money can you make as a salmon masturbator?

>>9772480
ok, see you in 15-16 hours

>>9772115
jesus christ, favreau, it's just ice

>>9772106
>people pay thousands of dollars for this shit
Just look at their smug fucking faces as they do it, they know they are ripping stupid rich people off.

>>9772512
The last fish is male. They're breeding salmon.

>>9772335
11/10

>>9772143
can't wait until i have to tip the robots

>>9772171
>little arrogant dance

does this machines burger-ability threaten you that much?

>>9772534
he's playing with his sausage

>>9772169
how much would i have to pay you to swim in it?

>>9772272
nope

>>9772171
>Little arrogant dance
it was for the sauce, retard

>>9772462
???
what are you talking about, they are running 24/7

>>9772213
What am I looking at?

>>9772613
>sauce

>>9772633
Ketchup and mustard can be considered sauces

>>9772512
No one pays that kind of money for salmon roe

>>9772132
take my money

>>9772501
>mort crim

death criminal

>>9772512
>rich people
You mean people who suddenly come into money or get a decent paying job for once in their lives. They have no idea what they are doing, so they go for their idea of unique and fancy. All the shit they've never had before, rather than things they know to be good.

>>9772627
cheese curds

>>9772177
this is such a metaphor to life

>>9772233
did he died?

>>9772217
Wow its fucking nothing

>>9772064
Was this supposed to be impressive?

>>9772071
Gay as fuck

>>9772534
When I imagine the fat German guy who runs the sausage machine, that is the guy who comes to mind. I bet he comes from a long line of pork butchers.

>>9772437
woodberry/10

>>9772779
It's fucking retarded. There's tubes under the sand

>>9772058

It's from a Youtuber named Ashens. He sometimes does vids on crappy food products he finds in the UK version of the Dollar Store.

>>9772272
why the fuck did she stuff it into her cheek like that

>>9772132
neat.jpg

>>9772790
It's an alternative to traditional taps, but it requires special glasses with magnetic fill-holes.

>>9772807
>Having to stop the input supply to separate product
The mark of a shit engineer.
That thing could be massively improved.

>>9772171
>I hope nobody thinks that this time-interval stacking machine is revolutionary at all.
Thanks for coming to our fucking rescue

Lots of factory shit in this one.

>>9772217
I could have just fucking sawed it in half in half the time

>>9772823

>>9772815
Mushrooms horrify me. The game Last Of Us and all their mushroom face fuckers spooked me good.

>>9772376
If it got hot at all the secondary liquid would have cooled it.

>>9772462
Simple, they dont.

>>9772815
This made me hungry but I'm sure that at least 80% of those mushrooms are poisonous.

>>9772546
gotta debone a fucken turkey, what knife to use? I know, that shitty paring knife that will mangle the fuck out of it.

good job to all non-ja/ck/ posters in this thread!

>posting gifs in a webm thread

>>9772813

Whoopsidoodles.

>>9772866

Nah, there were a quite few in there that were edible and delicious. Only saw one, maybe two specifically poisonous fruitbodies in the group. It would be more correct to say that 20% were delicious, 70% were unpalatable, but wouldn't make you sick, and 10% were poisonous.

Honestly, the vast majority of mushrooms won't kill you if you eat them, but they won't taste any good either, or the texture renders them inedible/unpalatable. The reason mushroom poisonings are so scareworthy is because the ones that will kill you often look similar to the ones that will feed you, or give you an interesting drug experience. Most are totally harmless, but just aren't tasty enough to be used in food.

#notallmushrooms

>>9772956
Damn bro, you could tell from 144p clip what species of mushrooms those were? Teach me your ways because you must be a Mycologist to ascertain that sort of information.

>>9772132
God I wish that was me

>>9772939
>posting the sober Hitchens on the alcoholism board.

>>9772512
please be bait

>>9772411
Disgusting. What's wrong with america?

>>9772242
God I wish that were me

>>9773072
Actually I think that might be Europe. I think the mayo has "Ireland's leading" something on it

>>9772512
>pay thousands of dollars for this shit
Inseminating fish eggs?

>>9772766
How the fuck is this a metaphor of life?

>>9772115
Cool, because I wanted a glass of liquor and hand-sweat.

>>9772171
>Little arrogant dance
Do you think the burger machine is mocking you?

>>9773162
3deep5u

>>9772233
Why so mean to crabs?

>>9772171
>15 dollars an hour
You may laugh at the obvious limitations but with time all of you will be replaced

>>9772335
Like looking in a rotating mirror

>>9772501
Ah yes, freshly sliced ingredients
Nowadays we don't need such barbarian novelties, not when our employees are barely capable of putting tacos together in the present day

>>9772158
who's AvE or, alternatively, got a link?
I'm having trouble googling with just that info

>>9772379
Anyone recommend buying one of this? I know you can make pretty much the same thing with a fruit processor, but it looks easier this way.

>>9772090
whats happening here

>>9773238
walter white is using cows to hide his ganja

>>9773222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydwaz2oPWY0

>>9773238
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts-TiVDlRz4

>>9772158
>>9773253
so what does AvE stand for

>>9772355
>you can make fresh tap?

>>9773253
ty

>>9773268
Alien vs eagle

>>9772158
I mean it doesn't look that bad
you can clean the side that touches your food, and nothing weird at all in there—couldn't get simpler really.

>>9773268
ArduinoVersusEvil

>>9772462
I'd imagine 1 day of the year is cleaning day, and they spend a full 20 hrs scrubbing the plant

>>9772090
What the fuck is this Harkonnen bio-mechanical torture they're doing to this poor moomoo?

>>9772512
*their* smug faces? Forget them check out the look of complete sexual bliss on the faces of the salmon

>ara ara nooo fishmonger senpai if you touch me like that I'm gonna cuuuuum~

>>9772981
xd

>>9772512
If you don't have a smug face and you aren't ripping people off then your business is failing.

>>9773279
>>>9772355
>>you can make fresh tap?
GOOD reference

>>9773438
wat

>>9773318
This discussion just keeps raising more questions.

>>9772272

you did what to who for how many jellybeans?

>>9773438
Wouldn't this make more sense if they were glazed donuts? She's kinda pussying out by using plain ones.

>>9773444
>Wouldn't this make more sense if they were glazed donuts?
Would it really, anon?

>>9773451
Well I admit I don't fully understand what the appeal of this video is meant to be, but I figure the sticky glaze would at least be reminiscent of cumming (jizz) on her face.

>>9772512
You think this is caviar, you uncultured flyover fuck?

>>9772058
jack uses eggs and his fist to open chicken seeds

>>9772143
>Would take more time loading the trays than a person just making the hamburger

>>9773456
>caviar is fish eggs
>webm is fish eggs
>ergo webm is caviar
I mean it follows

>>9773438
>>9773440
>>9773443
https://www.instagram.com/breadfaceblog/

She seems to just kinda be into that sort of thing.

>>9773465
I gotta admit, Deepwater Jew caught me by surprise.

>>9772845
https://exhentai.org/g/556046/6e38d5662e/

>>9772972
quit being an uneducated dickhead. It's not that fucking hard to figure out what they are if you know what you're doing

>>9772259
The fuck are you talking about, Jack eats the egg shell and all.

>>9772281
I would smash the big tooth customer chick so hard

>>9772355
>All the alcohol burned away
>Lukewarm at best
>Hot as hell at worst
Hope that orange stuff in the ice/sugar glass globe thing was cut with chilled grain alcohol or that would be a pretty bad drink.

>>9772837
epic postmodernism

>>9773524
This makes me sad.

>>9772411
Notice how he never actually tastes it himself

>>9773551
its dark rum and lemon and pineapple juice i think

>>9772454
Yes I would
>Juice extraction setting

>>9772115
How do I hold that
How do I drink that without it dripping over my pants?

>>9772171
>>9772143
>Little arrogant dance
>This_is_what_you_get_for_asking_for_better_wages.exe

>>9772272
upload "placenta1.webm"

>>9772143
15 an howa nows!
>ok here is your pink slip shaquifa

>>9772090
At first I thought this was going to be some retarded British humor sketch.

>>9772501
I want to fuck that dwarf-looking cashier

>>9773505
WTF, all I'm getting is a picture of a sap panda

>>9773584
I can't be the only one who thinks that looks just divine. It must be delicious.

>>9772454
Ah capitalism... such a beautiful thing..

>>9772742
Thanks doc

>>9772794
This isn't him. This is Techmoan

>>9773438
>tfw no qt autistic asian gf who likes to smoosh things with her face

>>9772606
>You have to eat all the eggs
BRING IT FAGGOT

>>9773195

>>9773518

>>9773738

>stroggification

>>9773195
was uh.. kind of thinking the same thing..

>>9773754
>Meme sauce
Why add 5 different sauces...

>>9772200
gotta love that German precision.

>>9773762
This looks like the shit you would make when you were 10 at a sleepover and you're doing dares and trying to gross out your friends.

>>9773578
T H I C C

>>9772301
>thinking cows and humans will behave exactly the same way

>>9772064
I'm a bartender and I find this offensive.

>>9772469
Nobody wants foam on their beer unless they're hipsters or Japanese.

>>9772301
There was actually a guy who got shot in the stomach and it healed with a hole in it. He let doctors perform experiments about sticking food directly into his stomach.

>>9772301
You're greatly overestimating the amount of discomfort something like that causes. People who get colostomys or have those special drug-insertion-sockets for their cancer treatment report no long-term discomfort with the insert itself.

>>9772939
>not posting webms on the dedicated webm board with 3x the file size limit and Sound enabled

>>9772492
for the record your post was funnier than the other fucktard who got 10 replies for being purposefully acting like an idiot

>>9772406
if i recall correctly, the squid is dead, but the sodium in the soy sauce triggers its nerves right?

>>9773465

>>9772090
Humans are evil. It isn't enough that we steal their breast milk and kill them afterwards? Jesus.

>>9773465
>>9773852
>rare Deepwater Jew

don't know why but i cant stop laffing

>>9772272
Fucking white people, Man.

Jackposters should all be banned

>>9772301
Tummy is a cute word.

>>9773815
DISGUSTING

>>9773885
I know right, fucking hell.

>>9772183
>This one tastes salty

>>9773815
sauce

>>9773961
i got it from /pol

>>9772379
It even comes with it's own dildo

>>9773727

I stand corrected. Sorry.

>>9773840
>sucking anon dick just because

>>9773253
Fuckin chootched

>>9773745

Damn, I wish I could get those where I live.

>>9773518
Now we are telling him where to breaking

>>9773931
the great life free from the opression of evil white people

>>9772171
you take offense to the mannerisms of a fucking robot. think about that for a second.

>>9772152
>Grow chicken

>>9773598

Is this guy a troll, or is he just that stupid?

I know he is black, but come on.

>>9772177
What if one chain of hot dogs rips?

>>9774109
Presumably the black bit on the casing is some high-strength heat resistant plastic

>>9772335
>potato
The powder or the person?

>>9774098
Imagine your gf in the background getting ready for his dick.

>>9774098
He's a nigger of course he's stupid, they never learn or are capable of learning.

>>9773505
Pretty similar to Junji Itô's style.

>>9774093
I alternate with rows of fishcorn bushes.

>>9772462
Spray it with a strong hose.

>>9772064
no way these these things dont leak out the bottom

>>9772789
My thoughts exactly

>>9774157
Do you also put ketchup on your eggs?

>>9774184
I'm not a Philistinian.

>>9774157
Salmon bushes?

>>9774125

Spotted the jew.

>>9774190
Fishcorn bushes.

>>9772759
Damn Ina

>>9773465
>Rare deep water jew

>>9772759
>>9774199
It's not a bowl, it's a concave cutting disc. Obviously you guys don't cook.

>>9774123
wow you got the joke you fucking autist

>>9772064
I am sand and I find this offensive.

>>9772158
i love seeing people reference AvE on here

>>9773551
>23 seconds
>>All the alcohol burned away

>>9774357
hopefully we will got more of his adorable daughter in the future videos

>>9773856
I hope you aren't serious.

>>9774378
I don't need your fucking microaggro, shitlord. Meat is murder, what part of this don't you get?

>>9773931
Anyone have the one where the niglet eats bugs out of a plastic can or something

>>9772439
Xd well memed friend. Catch ya on le Reddit

>>9772272
Literal Cannibalism

>>9773438
So that's why god created Asians with such flat faces

>>9772143
>mustard on a burger
What in the actual fuck

>>9772200
>amv from 2004

>>9773738
This kills the crab

>>9774357
It's not like he's unknown.

>>9772071

I'd demand he tip me for having to watch that shit

>>9774490
That's not too uncommon, McDonald's puts mustard on their burgers and at some restaurants you can find an "old-fashioned" or similarly named burger that just has mustard, onion, and cheese.

>>9772469
Why would you want a thick head anything under 2 pints you only need a thick head on large amounts of beer to stop it going flat

>>9772355
His smile words me out he looks like if both of the main characters from flight of the concords had a baby and it grew up to be a rapist

>>9772064
that's only slightly impressive if it knows by itself when to stop pouring but it's still completely unnecessary, lazy, and i think most would prefer at least some amount of head in a pint.

>>9773438
I was expecting a penis.

>>9774693
Of course it knows when to stop pouring. That's the whole point of it. It automatically dispenses the correct amount of beer. That: A) saves the bartender time, B) Looks cool to the customers, C) dispenses exact amounts helping with legal compliance and inventory control and D) sells advertising space on the special disposable cups.

>>9772064
I was at a bar that had those a few months ago. Girlfriend's beer leaked like two fingers when we weren't looking. It was kinda cool for a second but it's actually shit.

>>9772132
Chokingthechicken.webm

>>9772196
English muffin pizzas outclass whatever that Anglo-looking garbage was by miles.

>>9772130
if you're into that disgusting shit, there's an italian guy on youtube cooking everything and then making it a smoothie and he's also a fitfag . Look up Maurizio Merluzzo

>>9772233
When the cephalopods take over they will remember this.

CAN WE PLEASE HAVE ONE THREAD WITHOUT POSTING DISGUSTING STUFF AND JUST POST NORMAL STUFF INSTEAD

>>9774889
Yeah, post ja/ck/

>>9774889

>>9772233
now that's a rolercoaster I would pay to ride

>>9772462
>how the hell do they clean those machines?
They juice bottles of bleach at night.

>>9772095
>using a brand name term for a generic product
I bet you've never heard the word "onahole," faggot.

>>9774932

>>9773738
FUCKING SLAVES GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE

>>9772169
00:25 could easily be called "Saturday night at your mom's house."

>>9774960
she is fucking lucky that thing didnt rip her teeth outh of her mouth

>>9773848
No, squid is alive, just like many seafood, they can survive a shit ton of time before severe phisical trauma

>>9772534
GAU-ATE Sausage Cannon

>>9774980
Because why use plates when you can instead waste aluminum pans, right

>>9773347
Education. It doesn't hurt the cow.

>>9774992

>>9772042

>>9774997
Never.

>>9774992
>clean eats

>>9773567
why does it make you sad?

>>9775013
one wall wasn't enough

>>9773438
that explains the flat faces

>>9774174
They really don't. They use them at Anfield and if drunk fat footie fans can manage then anyone can

I have the magnet from the bottom on my fridge

>>9773171
It's ice so you don't sweat

>>9774566
accurate

>>9773598
Holy shit, is he throwing frozen fries into a deep fryer?!?!

>>9773815
Fuck you, anon, food and bestiality don't mix.

>>9774933
Dat scotch egg gives me feelings.

>>9772606
Oh wow, is that Marebito? I hadn't thought about that movie in a while

>>9775006
Id' eat this, but probably only one at a time

>>9775000
I see so many screaming faces on that thing.

>>9773611
Its in a glass you fucking mong

>>9775000
>bottle of ass in the corner