/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10018606]

Tell me your thoughts on Alton Brown.

[Anonymous No.10018638]

>>10018606
Tell me yours lmao

[Anonymous No.10018639]

Good Eats is my shit. Haven't watched Food Network in like a decade but I hear all he does now is host dumb competition shows.

[Anonymous No.10018646]

Fuck off >>>/tv/

[Anonymous No.10018686]

>>10018606
I live in his neighborhood and see him jogging sometimes. He stops and plays with his balls a lot. I saw him look around and then smell his fingers one time. I don't think he saw me see him do it, but I wouldn't put it past him. Seems like that kind of guy.

[Anonymous No.10018693]

>>10018686
he doesn't seem like the jogging type to me. more like the type to be into some homoerotic full contact sport like wrestling

[Anonymous No.10018702]

>>10018693
No, he gets all his exercise from working a glory hole. Have you seen his forearms?

[Anonymous No.10018729]

>>10018606
he has that dad humor that's hard to dislike unless you're a complete asshole.

[Anonymous No.10018735]

>>10018702
judging by that jacket, I don't think he has any

I bet he wears a douchy 48mm+ wristwatch though to compensate

[Anonymous No.10019558]

>>10018606
He seems like someone who has to keep everything perfect, like you couldn't touch a single thing at his house without him screaming internally.

[Anonymous No.10019566]

>>10018606
literally who?

[Anonymous No.10019636]

He can come across a bit arrogant at times, but he's pretty great. Good Eats is one of the best cooking shows of all-time.

Long live AB.

[Anonymous No.10019670]

Conflicted.

He helped to bring appreciation to the one, true science - food science - BUT he's a dweeby, anal,-retentive, weirdo who thinks you need a sharpie to cut mango.

I just don't know.

[Anonymous No.10019709]

>>10018606
His show was good at the time, but ATK and SeriousEats have surpassed him in food science and youtube stars like Chef John have surpassed him in creating good recipes from common ingredients

[Anonymous No.10019716]

>>10018606
Not as brown as he claims to be.

[Anonymous No.10019769]

>>10018606
I don't think about him very much at all. He had a decent cooking show a while back, but that's really all I can say. He's a bit of an asshole though.

[Anonymous No.10019773]

He needs to just come out of the closet already.

[Anonymous No.10019788]

>>10018606
I've watched him and adored him ever since I was a kid, but I do find many of his recipes to be over complicated and fussy. I love his personality, but he can be a little too quirky and "geeky". I still love him, though. My second favorite television food personality.

[Anonymous No.10019803]

>>10019670
>who thinks you need a sharpie to cut mango.

Bear in mind his target audience is the absolute bottom of the barrel lowest common denominator.

[Anonymous No.10021816]

>>10018606
a god among men for his culinary prowess as well as political views.

[Anonymous No.10021836]

Good Eats is the show that got me into cooking, so I have a deep appreciation for AB. His pivot to competition shows is pretty lame though.

>>10019788
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's convinced Alton Brown is gay.

[Anonymous No.10021842]

Him and Iron Chef (original) were the only worthwhile things to air on Food Network.

Ironically both shows not even produced by the network.

[Anonymous No.10021917]

Good Eats was my favorite cooking show and some people are complaining about his personality but I kinda like his schtick . I also like how he's a cook not a chef; seems more relatable.

[Anonymous No.10022023]

I thought good eats was informative and the recipes I've made from it turned out good. His over-the-top silly attempts at humor were extremely irritating but I was willing to suffer through that. Haven't watched any of the reality stuff he does now because that entire genre nauseates me. I agree with everyone else itt, he's probably a closeted fag.

[Anonymous No.10022052]

Good Eats is pretty great, but I don't really care for him as a host of competition shows.

[Anonymous No.10022074]

Being a pro-gun celebrity means he's a-okay in my book.

[Anonymous No.10022130]

>>10022074
Yeah and this. What are his thoughts on Drumpf?

[Anonymous No.10022160]

>>10022130
>He took to Snapchat to share his Election Steak recipe, which apparently he cooks when the polls close after every election. In his Snap, he says, "This year, I'm using sirloin steak because it can be a little tough, and let's face it, this election has been tough."

Was the only thing I could find about it after a couple seconds of googling, which is all the effort I'm willing to put in. Him mostly staying out of politics is another pro point.

[Anonymous No.10022171]

>>10022160
>cut brooklyn
gullible rube

[Anonymous No.10022207]

>>10018606
He was a film and production geek from way back. His schick was great camera angles and editing from the beginning. He went to cooking school just to get more grant money for the next stage of his TV career.
I saw him do a booksigning at Olssens bookstore in DC during his first season, and the whole audience was macgeeks who had technical questions about the oven or fridge cam, which annoyed him greatly as he was there for the booksigning and discussion about the content of his show and book. He wanted food geeks. Before he spoke he looked peeved that people waved like fans at him and clapped, before he had a chance to use the bathroom. We saw his grumpy true colors, and he was downright rude to a couple of people.
I liked his show for the mr. wizard nature in the beginning. I particularly like food scientist Shirley Corrihor, the historical food anthropoligist and the grumpty asian (dentist) who played the bed bath and beyond appliance help. I liked him and I liked his show until Alton got abducted by aliens and started acting weird. When did this happen? That time he lost all his weight, and then to face the cancer? does he have HIV? social media murmerings. So, he did an episode where he explained his healthy choices as diet based (should have gone with exercise!) and it went against the grain of someone who has a palate, a foodie lifestyle, a brain, even, and certainly against the entire core of his viewer base. It was the jumped the shark literal moment when no one liked him anymore. He started the "I wish I was old new england money and/or harvard professor" round tortoiseshell eyeglass frame+tweed suit wearing + ambiguously gay new persona with the weight loss. He dropped his southernisms and average joe who likes doing things well person entirely and sucked up to some kind of treat me as an intellectual without the PhD respect demand.

[Anonymous No.10022212]

>>10022207
Woah is this pasta

[Anonymous No.10022213]

>>10022074
>>10022130
>>10022160
>>10022160
He left his church because he supports gay marriage and they didn't.

[Anonymous No.10022224]

>>10022213
Ok. You will always find something to dislike about someone if you look hard enough.
Also source.

[Anonymous No.10022225]

>>10019670
He and his team were trying to make things as unfuck-up-able as possible. Some people need that shit in their lives.

[Anonymous No.10022227]

>>10022213
>he's selectively religious like most modern turbo faggots
No surprise there.

[Anonymous No.10022261]

>>10022224
Different anon, having trouble finding the actual text of the article online, but it's from Time Magazine, dec 4, 2014 - an article titled Alton Brown's Existential Stew. Richard Reams's comment from this site https://hollowverse.com/alton-brown/ has a quote from it if you'll accept a second hand citation
>"He’s also in the midst of a crisis of faith. Brown, who was baptized in 2006, says he’s “on a break” from his church. He says he can no longer abide the Southern Baptist Convention’s indoctrination of children and its anti-gay stance. He’s now 'searching for a new belief system.'"

[Anonymous No.10022270]

>>10022227
Retard who thinks Christianity is about following strict rules instead of following Jesus's teachings in spirit detected. Let me guess, you're a catholic who believes you can't even take a shit without the pope's approval?

[Anonymous No.10022284]

Dropping a pretty well known to be fundamentalist religion is one thing, dropping Christianity to look for a whole new belief system is another. I'd say he never actually had faith to begin with, otherwise, he'd be over at the episcopal church right now.

[Anonymous No.10022287]

>>10022227
>>10022270
>Religion in general
If there's a god he's definitely not one that humans know/guessed about.

[Anonymous No.10022297]

>>10022224
There's literally nothing wrong with gay marriage, faggot. I bet you don't even go to church.

[Anonymous No.10022307]

>>10022297
I'm not religious and don't give a fuck about gay marriage, so yeah.

[Anonymous No.10022313]

>>10022307
Then why would that make you dislike him?

[Anonymous No.10022316]

>>10022313
try reading comprehension

[Anonymous No.10022331]

>>10022287
Think again.
When will faithlets learn?

[Anonymous No.10022341]

>>10022307
Marriage is already gay enough without faggots doing it.

[Anonymous No.10022356]

>>10022287
>atheist shittard thinks he's a genius
who'da thunk it

[Anonymous No.10022361]

>>10022270
>t. faggot who wants to be part of a club but wants to make his own rules
What a big boy. You're super unique. Do you. Only God can judge you.

[Anonymous No.10022368]

>>10022356
>Agnosticism and atheism are the same.
I cannot deny the possibility that a god or higher power probably exists.
I just think the chance of human religions getting it right is improbably low.

[Anonymous No.10022407]

>>10022316
Since neither of us dislike him for his views on gay marriage, then who was the "You" in "You will always find something to dislike about someone if you look hard enough," referring to if not you or me? And why did you need a source?

[Anonymous No.10023079]

>>10022361
>make his own rules
Well no, it was the pope that made his own rules and catholics that decided the bible wasn't enough. And if you're not catholic, then your rules are just as 'made up' as mine.

[Anonymous No.10023086]

>>10023079
>oh, yeah? well, you too!
>t. shitlet can't religion but wants to

[Anonymous No.10023087]

>>10018606
he's a gun nut

[Anonymous No.10023124]

>>10023086
It would help if you presented any sort of actual argument. Idolatry is a sin, and catholics clearly care more about the word of the pope than the word of God, so their opinion hardly counts. I'm gonna need more to go on if you want me to get more specific.

[Anonymous No.10023152]

>>10023087
>this is a bad thing

I love Alton, Good Eats is what got me into cooking when I watched it as a kid.

[Anonymous No.10023172]

>>10023152
being a gun nut != thinking guns are "cool"
everyone thinks guns are "cool"
what makes gun nuts uniquely stupid is that they sincerely believe a gun is a solution to literally everything. feeling unsafe? carry a gun. someone looking at you funny? wave a gun at them. kid got murdered? force kids to carry guns. got the sniffles? shoot yourself in the fucking face with a gun
as soon as I find out a famous person is a gun nut I instantly downgrade their assessed intelligence by about 20 IQ points
even ketofags are smarter than gun nuts

[Anonymous No.10023199]

>>10023172
>they sincerely believe a gun is a solution to literally everything

It's not?

[Anonymous No.10023251]

>>10018606
Excited for good eats coming back

[Anonymous No.10023252]

>>10023172
Fuck off, Paddy.

[Anonymous No.10023275]

>>10023172
I don't even like guns but you can eat a bullet

[Anonymous No.10023290]

>>10023172
>yea freedom of speech and religion are cool and all but I'd rather if there was a vast network of unelected government bureaucrats to make decisions for me about how I can express these rights
This is how retarded you sound.

[Anonymous No.10023347]

oh god I killed the thread

QUICK post your favorite Alton Brown recipe!

>spaghetti meat sauce
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/meat-sauce-and-spaghetti-recipe-1917618

[Anonymous No.10023360]

>>10023290
>freedom of speech is being able to shoot someone over a parking space
>STAND YER GROOOUND
I'm glad I live in a state with sane gun laws

[Anonymous No.10023375]

>>10023360
You're dumb.

[Anonymous No.10023385]

>>10023360
>What was said completely flew over his head.
>Resorts to childish hyperbole
Yep, typical grabber.

[Anonymous No.10023395]

>>10023360
No gun laws are sane, there should be no gun laws, anyone of any age of any legal standing should have access to any weapon. Period.

[Anonymous No.10023411]

>>10023395
Yep. Toddlers should be forced to run around with atomic tipped recoilless rifles because muh big gubmint boogyman

[Anonymous No.10023414]

The best thing he ever did for me..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIc12jkE7sY

[Anonymous No.10023419]

>>10023395
I agree, but only up to nuclear weapons.
Because then only the government and extremely wealthy corporations can own nuclear weapons.

[Anonymous No.10023425]

>>10023411
If a toddler somehow obtains enough money to do so, sure.

[Anonymous No.10023427]

>>10023411
>forced
?

[Anonymous No.10023434]

>>10023411
>mug big gubmint boogyman
Not a boogeyman.

[Anonymous No.10023447]

>>10023434

[Anonymous No.10023459]

>>10023434
>>10023447
>mommy why can't violent extremists be left alone to impregnate children and threaten public officials
the only thing the government did wrong was being too lenient on those people

[Anonymous No.10023463]

>>10023411
Children are generally better suited to crew served weapons, teaches them teamwork and requires less individual strength

[Anonymous No.10023472]

>>10023459
>Violent extremists
You mean the FBI?

[Anonymous No.10023475]

>>10023124
I'm making fun of you if that helps, since I know weird chromosomes can make it difficult.

[Anonymous No.10023478]

>>10023459
Technically did nothing wrong; never threatened anyone and age of consent was 14 in Texas.

[Anonymous No.10023484]

>>10023459
>Muh pedophilia
Hoax with no substantial evidence
>Threaten public officials
Never happened.

[Anonymous No.10023485]

>>10023478
>it's ok for a religious maniac to rape kids because muh backwards antediluvian Texas laws
I take it back. the only thing they did wrong was not carpet bomb the entire state

[Anonymous No.10023552]

>>10023485
Same age of consent as most of Yurope. 18 is actually pretty old, globally. It's mostly around 16.

[Anonymous No.10023583]

>>10019670
> the one, true science - food science -
Do brainlets really believe this?

[Anonymous No.10023597]

>>10023552
1. Big difference between 16 and 14
2. Girls as young as 12
3. We're not talking about two high school kids getting in trouble due to a small age difference, we're talking about a man in his 30s who thinks he's Jesus, brainwashing his followers into giving their 12 year old daughters over to a maniac to be raped

And the fact that this man is a hero of the gun nut community is why normies have a dim view of "gun culture"

[Anonymous No.10023604]

>>10023459
Thank God the Govt stepped in and killed those kids before they could be touched some more.

[Anonymous No.10023619]

>>10023597
>This man is a hero of the gun nut community
Nobody really regards him as a hero. Maybe an unfortunate martyr.
Now pic related is a hero.

[Anonymous No.10023632]

>>10023604
>The medical examiner reported that although federal law enforcement personnel fired no shots that day, 20 people, including five children under the age of 14, had been shot, and a three-year-old had been stabbed in the chest

[Anonymous No.10023645]

Trying to defend the FBI by making the Branch Davidians look bad COMPLETELY misses the significance of Waco.

[Anonymous No.10023654]

Hey remember Alton Brown?

[Anonymous No.10023665]

>>10023645
>making the Branch Davidians look bad
It's amazing how you think that pointing out child rape, or the fact that Koresh literally mass-murdered his entire cult rather than surrender, is some kind of partisan spin job.

[chop No.10023678]

>>10023632
Well, if the State says the State did no wrong...

[Anonymous No.10023681]

>>10023665
That's now what I meant. What the FBI did in both Waco and Ruby Ridge is detestable, and you can't change that.

[Anonymous No.10023688]

>>10023681
*not what I meant.

[Anonymous No.10023691]

>>10018606
That man is the single most skilled hand to hand fighter I have ever seen.

[Anonymous No.10023707]

>>10023654
Wasn't he the guy the led the branch favidians?

[Anonymous No.10023709]

>>10023678
>David was a good boy, he dindu nuffin wrong

[Anonymous No.10023719]

>>10023707
No he just fed the branch davidians.

[Anonymous No.10023724]

>>10023709
The FBI was a good boy, he dindu nuffin wrong
See? I can do it too.

[Anonymous No.10023776]

>>10023724
>ok but technically it wasn't child rape because the parents consented
>ok but that isn't the point, technically he only shot all of his followers and then himself, that wouldn't uh happened if the gubmint hadn't knocked on his door asking about stuff that's none of their business
>ok but but that isn't the point, maybe we were lied to
at what point do you just go with "ok but that isn't the point, we're just a bunch of brains in vats and morality isn't real"

[Anonymous No.10023787]

>>10023776
Didn't this start by you saying Alton Brown had 20 less iq points than you previously would have thought because he likes guns?
We've gotten way off track. You can defend the FBI all you want, we can defend the cult boys all we want, but lets get back on topic.

[chop No.10023794]

>>10023709
>>10023776
You don't have to pick a side to root for.
You can acknowledge that the Feds are assholes without admitting the Davidians were not and vice versa.

[Anonymous No.10023834]

>>10023787
No, not "likes guns", I said "gun nut", and this thread has further validated my beliefs about them
>>10023794
And what if the feds were assholes? If I'm on a flight I don't give a shit if the guy in the cockpit is an asshole, I just want him to do his job. In this case, looks like the feds were doing theirs.

[Anonymous No.10023836]

>>10023834
Defend Ruby Ridge then.

[Anonymous No.10024006]

I used to think he should shave his head and just get it over with. Now I think he should get a toupee.

[chop No.10024016]

>>10023834
Sorry, by assholes I really meant murderers.

[Anonymous No.10024695]

>>10021836
>Good Eats is the show that got me into cooking, so I have a deep appreciation for AB. His pivot to competition shows is pretty lame though.
Are you me?

[Anonymous No.10024773]

>>10023124
The Bible itself proves the papacy, you Protestant retard. Where in the Bible does it teach Sola scriptura? Pro-tip: it doesn't. In fact, it teaches the existence of a sacred tradition (2 Thessalonians 2:15) and that the Church is the pillar and foundation of truth (1 Timothy 3:15). It is the church that compiled the Bible and determined which books were inspired and which were not. Catholics do not practice idolatry; it is official church doctrine that only God is worthy of worship (latria). Saints are honored and venerated (dulia) and are asked for their intercession, no different than asking a living friend to pray for you. Iconography is not idolatry. God commanded the ancient Israelites to create the likenesses of two cherubim on the Ark of the Covenant. Compare with Ezekiel 41:17-18. God told Moses to "make [a statue of] a fiery serpent "(Numbers 21:8–9). One had to look at the bronze statue of the serpent to be healed, which shows that statues could be used ritually, not merely as religious decorations.

Since the days of the apostles, the Catholic Church has consistently condemned the sin of idolatry. The early Church Fathers warn against this sin, and Church councils also dealt with the issue. The Catechism of the Council of Trent (1566) taught that idolatry is committed "by worshipping idols and images as God, or believing that they possess any divinity or virtue entitling them to our worship, by praying to, or reposing confidence in them."

Protestants, ironically, while paying lip-service to the Bible, removed 7 books from the Old Testament that are, themselves, quoted in the New Testament because they didn't fit with their heretical theological innovations. Protestants have merely made themselves their own popes. Protestants all claim to believe in the Bible yet there are 40,000 different Protestant sects that can't even agree with each other. Doctrinal chaos is the bad fruit of Sola scriptura (1 Cor. 14:33).

https://youtu.be/6KV6PXSODgE

[Anonymous No.10024836]

This whole thread proves that /pol/ needs to be banned from all other boards.

[Anonymous No.10024842]

>>10024836
>Hey, I'm a sensitive faggot.
But we already knew that.

[Anonymous No.10024874]

>>10024836
I agree, but the discussion being had here is hardly /pol/

[Anonymous No.10024879]

>>10024773
>praying to an image/statue of a saint and hoping for miracles
>not idolatry

Not even that guy but wat?

[Anonymous No.10024888]

>>10024836
Complaining about /pol/ is more cringy than /pol/ posts themselves

[Anonymous No.10024899]

>>10024888
hitler trips for truth

[Anonymous No.10024920]

>>10022270
>>10022287
*tips*

[Anonymous No.10024933]

>>10019670
>who thinks you need a sharpie to cut mango.

wot

[Anonymous No.10024954]

>>10024899
This post proves that /pol/ is cringe.

[Anonymous No.10024959]

>>10024954
cringe

[Anonymous No.10024965]

>>10022207
Diet is much, much more effective and important than exercise in regards to weight loss.

[Anonymous No.10024973]

>>10024836
I generally agree but this whole thing started with a post insulting "gun nuts" I thought

[Anonymous No.10025001]

>>10024954
you'd think they'd at least know the real number

[Anonymous No.10025098]

>>10024836
Is this the new battle cry of the chronically butthurt?

[Anonymous No.10025115]

>>10018606
good eats is kino that will never be matched

[Anonymous No.10025186]

>>10023414
This is an example of a crap recipe. Alton had a few zonkers that weren't right. Egg in mac n cheese makes it too solidified, and totally changes the mouthfeel. It's a church potluck supper method to make a giant casserole hold together well without too much expensive cheese or lengthy cooking. Egg is poverty mode and you can always tell when it has been added.
I like paprika, bay leaves, but no they don't belong in mac n cheese. A grate of nutmeg could be forgiven or encouraged, the mustard is fine by me, but again it's subbing for sharper more aged cheese goodness, as is cayenne when used. He could have just used more cheese variety or a sharper cheese. I'd have suggested a rigate pasta shape to hold the sauce better, as well. That thick layer of bland panko and butter could have used some seasoning.

[Anonymous No.10025241]

>>10024965
>Diet is much, much more effective and important than exercise in regards to weight loss.
If you say so. But, uhh yea, you entirely missed the point of the rant though, that he derailed his own show by making his entire show's content something he held in contemptuous and distasteful tones by switching to a preachy and utterly enlightened daily diet of tasteless sameness in his diet episode filled with utter crap "processed starches" and pulls a donut out of a guys mouth, pinches off a bite of it and compares it to a whole orange (100 cals vs 250 cals), and so it's hardly a bite vs the whole orange. I lose it when he eats fish from the can.

[Anonymous No.10025319]

>>10024879
Intercessory prayer is not worship. If someone asked their friend to pray for them, would they be worshipping their friend? Those in heaven are aware of the prayers of those on earth (Revelation 5:8). They are aware of their petitions and present them to God by interceding on their behalf. Catholics believe that the saints remain in communion with those of us on earth. We call this the Communion of Saints, and it's an article of faith in every Christian creed from the Apostles' Creed on.

Prayer is simply a form of communication. A prayer is simply a request for help. Older usage of the word reflects this: take Shakespeare, in which one person says to another "Pray thee ..." and then makes a request. True worship (as opposed to veneration or honor) does indeed belong to God alone, but while worship *may* take the form of prayer, as in the Mass and the other liturgies of the Church, not all prayer is worship. When Catholics pray to the saints, they're simply asking the saints to help them by praying to God on their behalf—just like someone might ask their friends and family to do—or thanking the saints for having already done so. The Book of James says that "the fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful" (James 5:16).

http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/mp3/The_Bible_on_Praying_to_Saints.mp3

[Anonymous No.10025334]

>>10025319

all of this horseshit is the example of a life wasted in hope of an eternal that doesn't exist. You're what children are, playing in sand that means nothing. You spend a life meaning nothing.

[Anonymous No.10025341]

I like him. I'm still a complete noob who lurks here every now and again, but he introduced me to the idea of letting steak sit to let the meat and juice settle. I'll always be grateful for that

[Anonymous No.10025342]

>>10024006
billy rednuts?

[Anonymous No.10025415]

>>10025334
Found the angsty atheist pseudo-intellectual. Angry because mommy and daddy made you go to church? Or did you just watch some comedian like Ricky Gervais or George Carlin and suddenly think you're a rocket scientist? If you get your philosophy from comedians, don't be surprised if it's a joke. Atheism is perhaps most delusional, wish-fulfillment-based worldview around, you'd have to be a complete fool to take it and it's explanation for the universe and life seriously as a plausible alternative. And that's just what we find: fools professing themselves to be wise yet who know nothing about the religions they detest or the nature of the universe which they claim to understand.

[Anonymous No.10025434]

>thread about Alton Brown devolves into shitflinging about the finer points of Christianity
I'd expect nothing less /ck/

[Anonymous No.10025712]

Trying to bring this thread back on track, I have a fucking story for you all.

>Be me, 14-year-old kid, love to cook, watch Good Eats on FN all the time.
>Practically idolize Alton Brown at this age, his show was one of my biggest mentors in cooking, along with my dad. I don't want this to sound like a "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" meme, but something about his style just clicked with me.
>Loved making his recipes myself, I still stand by his turkey brine is one of the best ways to cook turkey period.
>Learn that he'll be speaking at a local event, won't go into specifics for anonymity's sake but it was basically a big seminar he was leading us through.
>Beg parents to take me, we could already go to the event but it was a good drive away.
>Drive five hours, rent hotel, spend night. Wake up bright and early next day to see Alton.
>Still have to wait in line, there are people with fucking Alton Brown tattoos gathered there to see him.
>Talk to people, discuss cooking habits, in general chill time.
>Eventually get into seminar
>It's pretty good, Alton is a good showman. Pretty charismatic, his jokes usually land, etc.
>Seminar is built around him cooking a dish in front of an audience, and he's taking audience questions the entire time.
>He has to marinade something, asks the crowd. "What is a marinade?"
>My time has come.
>Stand up, walk over to mic to speak.
(1/2)

[Anonymous No.10025772]

>>10025712
>I forget what I said exactly, but it was essentially "A marinade is like a brine, it is a liquid that typically includes salt and other spices that you put food, usually proteins in to enhance the flavor and keep it from drying out."
>So proud of myself, smile confidently.
>He retorts "Ah, but what's the difference between a marinade and a brine."
>shit.png
>Draw a blank, have no idea.
>"A marinade contains acid to help break down the proteins and tenderize the meat. You can learn more by watching my show Good Eats, comes on every day after school."
>Holy shit. Alton Brown thinks I'm just some poor yuppie's kid that got dragged to this event and thinks he's smarter than he actually is.
>Continue watching the demonstration.
>Eventually it concludes, get up.
>Basically, everybody forms this big fuck-off line to get autographs and take pictures and ask short questions. People showing off their Good Eats tattoos, asking him the occasional question.
>Reach front of the line, he asks "Hey bud, you enjoy the seminar?"
>I'm not much of a sperg or anything, but standing in front of someone that I respected and idolized so much after blundering like that made it so that I couldn't really speak.
>Take a picture with Alton, I'm smiling in it but it's pretty forced.
>Get his autograph, makes it out to my name. Pic related. Excuse my god-awful handwriting.
>Shuffle out a defeated young man.
>To this day, if Alton even remembers me, he remembers me as some kid that didn't watch his show and didn't know what a marinade is.

[Anonymous No.10026032]

>>10018735
>I bet he wears a douchy 48mm+ wristwatch though to compensate
4:12
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvWiUYKgb6M
You're a fucking idiot and should kill yourself

[Anonymous No.10026077]

>>10025772
At least you got to meet your idol and he was friendly. A lot of times people build up a mental image in their head of what their favorite star is like, then meet them only to find out they're fucking pricks.

[Anonymous No.10026117]

>>10025772
Doesn't marinade not do that?
Hasn't he even said on his show that it doesn't break down proteins?

[Anonymous No.10026125]

>>10026117
You're right. Sorry, I'm a little fried right now. The difference remains though, brine doesn't have acid, marinade does.

>>10026077
Hey man, I'm still thankful he wasn't a tremendous douche. I just hate that I face planted like that and didn't have the balls to tell him how much I really cared for his show.

[Anonymous No.10026139]

If i don't return my good eats book to the library tomorrow the govments will give me a dickin'.

Save me Alton senpai. I just want to keep forgetting that biscuit recipe.

[Anonymous No.10026525]

>>10026032
>rolexfag
And of course the mentally ill gun nut with an AIDS face would be a card carrying member of the club of watch furries who jack off over whose dial has the most mold growing on it
>muh tropical dial
>muh kaposis sarcoma
>hey guise if I leave my watch out on the beach for 16 years will it look kewl?
The bug chasers of watch faggotry

[Anonymous No.10026539]

>>10018606
he looks like his favorite food is dicks

[Anonymous No.10026966]

>>10018606
who fucking cares

[Anonymous No.10027337]

>>10025415
Yeah, I'll take a scientist's take on the universe rather than some mumbo-jumbo make believe.

[Anonymous No.10028546]

>>10027337
>look at me I’m a pickle

[Anonymous No.10029017]

yall are funny

[Anonymous No.10029274]

>>10022213
>Pro guns but not a religious conservative

I like him even more now.

[Anonymous No.10029403]

>>10029274
same desu

[Anonymous No.10029484]

>>10024836
>everything i don't like is /pol/

/pol/ is nothing but shills now anyway, it's borderline /s4s/ tier but unironic

[Anonymous No.10029555]

>>10019670
Keep in mind that Good Eats was about teaching those who never even learned how to boil water properly how to cook. The point was an attempt to make it so foolproof that a literal retard could do it without fucking up.

[Anonymous No.10029565]

>>10022213
Oh no! Not gay marriage!

[Anonymous No.10029650]

>>10026525
That guy was right, you should kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.10029711]

>>10029650
t.bugchaser rolexfag

[Anonymous No.10029880]

>>10019670
>literally says in the video "no, you don't have to draw on the mango, it's for illustration purposes"
autist

[Anonymous No.10029898]

>>10018606
If he was black the whole thing would be a whole lot funnier.

[Anonymous No.10030167]

>>10029274
Pretty much sold me on him too.

[Anonymous No.10030176]

christian scientist """chef"""

bible thumper

[Anonymous No.10030192]

>>10030176
literal retard