/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10129319]

Confess.

[Anonymous No.10129321]

80% of my calories come from alcohol, and my wife just left me so why not make it 100%.
I do not even feel like cooking anymore, I just eat frozen foods.

[Anonymous No.10129327]

British Sunday Roasts are the most overrated food in the country. Awful excuse for "food". I'd say the world, but the rest of the world has the wherewithal not to eat that rubbish so it wouldn't make sense. Pizza wins that award.

[Anonymous No.10129330]

[Anonymous No.10129335]

i ate my foreskin

[Anonymous No.10129450]

I post pictures of food other people make because I want anons to make fun of them

[Anonymous No.10129594]

My diet doesn’t consist of mostly wheat, cheese and processed meat combinations so I have almost nothing to discuss with the people who post here.

[Anonymous No.10129728]

>>10129319
I made white clam sauce yesterday. I forgot the egg yolk.

[Anonymous No.10129740]

>>10129319
Father forgive me, for I have sinned. I've masturbated at least 15 times today and show no sign of stopping.

[Anonymous No.10129745]

>>10129740
are you on meth?

[Anonymous No.10129752]

i made a tray of brownies and ate like three quarters of it yesterday
i feel so bad about it

[Anonymous No.10129770]

>>10129728
did it turn out ok anon

[Anonymous No.10129779]

>>10129770
The sauce was too loose. I added parmesan to try and thicken it up. It helped a little bit but I still had sloppy spaghetti. Tasted fine though.

[Anonymous No.10130025]

i killed her

[Anonymous No.10130034]

>Stauffers frozen lasagna is a great meal

[Anonymous No.10130053]

>>10130034
are you the anon who ate an entire lasagna in one night

[Anonymous No.10130178]

I eat almost exclusively frozen chicken tenders, bologna sandwiches, instant ramen, and canned soup. I love cooking but I work 12.5 hours a day and I don't give a shit once I'm home.

[Anonymous No.10130238]

>>10130053
No but I could be if I really wanted to

[Anonymous No.10130266]

>>10129319

I always fry my eggs because they just end up being dry any other way

[Anonymous No.10130630]

I've eaten fast food for every meal for about a month now

[Anonymous No.10130661]

>>10129319
I eat taco bell every day

[Anonymous No.10131096]

>>10129327
Agreed as another Brit
>Roasted meat
>Boiled root vegetables
>meat sauce (gravy)
It's bland and boring even when seasoned and every other bong tries to lynch me for it, our breakfasts aren't this shit so why dinner?

[Anonymous No.10131098]

>>10129319
Carls Jr. is actually Hardees and I've been lied to.

[Anonymous No.10131119]

>>10129319
I'm getting ready to suck this guy off of Craigslist's dick

And, uh, I've eaten mi goreng noodles two nights in a row, I guess

[Anonymous No.10131128]

>>10129319
I cook food and do the dishes every day for a guy who doesn't appreciate me and I feel weaker emotionally for every day that goes by

[Anonymous No.10131134]

>>10129319
Why? You're a big phony. You never relieve me of my food sins.

[Anonymous No.10131136]

>>10129594
What do you eat anon! I've mostly been eating quinoa/lentils lately and random veggies, sometimes other legumes

[Anonymous No.10131215]

>>10130630
Since december here, mostly mcdonalds. I have toast and coffee for breakfast then skip lunch and eat mcdonalds for dinner. I do not feel well.

[Anonymous No.10132461]

>>10129319
I don't like steak.

[Anonymous No.10132474]

>>10129752
I refuse to make brownies for that reason. In the past I've just picked at it all day and the next thing I know it's half gone.

[Anonymous No.10132579]

i tap my knife

[Anonymous No.10132692]

>>10129330
lazy cunt

[Anonymous No.10133427]

>>10129330
>>10132692
>invest

[Anonymous No.10133481]

>>10132692
better one

[Anonymous No.10133523]

>>10131215
Shit nigger if I eat poorly for 2 days I feel an uncontrollable urge to eat green stuff. How are you alive?

[Anonymous No.10133543]

I've been browsing/ck/ for approximately 10 years.

[Anonymous No.10133551]

>>10129330
>>10132692
>>10133481

I accidentally tipped the soyim waiter more than $1 I am so sorry rabbi

[Anonymous No.10133584]

I can't cook if my fucking life depends on it. I can blacken a pancake, and simultaneously undercook and burn a boneless skinless chicken breast.

And no matter how hard I try, I can't get any better.

[Anonymous No.10133711]

I can't cook anything and eat out basically every day, which is my only meal for the day

[Anonymous No.10133730]

>>10133481
alright last one

[Anonymous No.10133790]

I will slurp on a bottle of mustard or barbecue sauce if no food is available

[Anonymous No.10133811]

I love eating barbecue Fritos dipped in Philadelphia cream cheese

[Anonymous No.10133832]

people think i'm good at cooking because i'm good at baking and I go along with it, but i'm actually shit at cooking

[Anonymous No.10133833]

All I want to do is get glass tupperware and make bulk health food all the time and eat mostly dark greens and fiber but I work at a restaurant and buy frozen burritos and beer after work

[Anonymous No.10133912]

I eat pork but try to avoid it when it's convenient. I hate ham. I don't like pork chops and bacon. I hate seafood. I'll eat fish if it doesn't taste like fish but I don't like to. I will not eat shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, or any other fucking water bugs. I will not eat sushi.

[Anonymous No.10134101]

>>10133730
alright for real this time

[Anonymous No.10134370]

>>10129319
FORGIVE ME FATHER
FOR I HAVE SINNED
FIND ME GUILTY OF THE LIFE I FEEL WITHIN

[Anonymous No.10134662]

>>10131096
What’s the black burnt lookin thing and is it good?

[Anonymous No.10134667]

>>10133790

[Anonymous No.10135281]

Im so poor I've eaten nothing but 3 grilled cheese sandwiches a day for the last three months

[Anonymous No.10135320]

>>10135281
get a job

[Anonymous No.10135642]

>>10135281

How is your weight?

[Anonymous No.10135650]

I’m a non-purging bulimic. I plan elaborate binges for the weekends that are 10,000+ calories, feel disgusting afterwards, and starve myself the week after to purge the calories. The only reason I don’t make myself vomit is because I hate throwing up so much and I don’t wanna die of a heart attack at 25

[Anonymous No.10135652]

>>10129321
If this is true, then I wish the best upon you, lad. Sad to hear it.

[Anonymous No.10135654]

>>10131096
>>Roasted meat
>>Boiled root vegetables
>>meat sauce (gravy)
HOW IS THIS NOT GOOD? Boring, sure. But it's fucking delicious you fake Brit.

[Anonymous No.10135660]

i dont know how to cook. i come here to learn, but i never do

[Anonymous No.10135669]

>>10129319
I drank one and half gallons of discount beer yesterday.

[Anonymous No.10135813]

>>10129327
Paki detected, fuck off paki.

[Anonymous No.10135982]

>>10130178
Perhaps indian curries are a way out. They require a ridiculous amont of prepartion work (which you can do on weekends), but the actual curry can be prepared in about 10-15 minutes and tastes amazing.
Get a rice cooker for this if you don't have one. Any cheap one will do.

[Anonymous No.10135991]

>>10129779
Sloppy spaghet is better than no spaghet, lad.

[Anonymous No.10135996]

>>10134662
Its a type of sausage made with blood. I've never had it before.

[Anonymous No.10137713]

>>10134662
the absolute state of you for not knowing what this is

its black pudding

fookin amazin

[Anonymous No.10137815]

>>10135660
It's OK anon, just practice, start off with student recipes, basic italian meals, that kind of thing

Or be poor. Being poor forces you to cook

[Anonymous No.10137837]

>>10129319
I FUCKING DISPISE "FUSION" FOODS

[Anonymous No.10137851]

>>10129319
I just had Thai food for the first time. It tasted like a fucking barn smells, or maybe wet dog, and didn't smell much better either.
I hate wasting food, but one bite and that was in the fucking trash, and I'm never touching Thai again.

[Anonymous No.10137865]

I never built a pancake panzer

[Anonymous No.10137988]

>>10134101
>bit of white over his shoulder
Keep trying

[Anonymous No.10138018]

>>10133523
That's funny. If I go a week without eating vegetables, I don't feel well and have to get a sub or something with extra veggies.

[Anonymous No.10138077]

>>10129319
I put mayonnaise in my sandwiches

[Anonymous No.10138087]

>>10138077

That's what mayo is for.

[Anonymous No.10138141]

>>10129321
quitting/cutting back drinking of course made me happier, but not as much as it makes everything easier.

[Anonymous No.10138219]

>>10137988
fuck you

[Anonymous No.10138688]

>>10135654
If it's boring it's not good, you prat

[Anonymous No.10138925]

>>10138219
Put some buttons on hist shirt. Also a gold earring or chain. He also needs the braids on the side of his head.

[Anonymous No.10139080]

>>10138925
>orthodox jews
>wearing jewelry

I tried buttons, I couldn't figure a way that made visual sense. and he already has the payot.

[Anonymous No.10139091]

>>10139080
It actually does look good as is. What editor are you using?

[Anonymous No.10139096]

>>10139091
paint.net and paint for the spraypaint effects for the beard

[Anonymous No.10139100]

[Anonymous No.10139125]

>>10139100
>i...it's not a bubble guys!

[Anonymous No.10139130]

>>10129319
I'm a soyboy

[Anonymous No.10139204]

>>10139125
shut your fucking mouth

[Anonymous No.10139340]

>>10135982
>weekends
What are those

[Anonymous No.10139435]

>>10129319
I secretly wish Trump would build the wall

[Anonymous No.10139601]

>>10133912
Pork is garbage bro.

[Anonymous No.10139608]

>>10135650
>he thinks starving himself isn't hurting his heart

[Slop No.10139626]

I started the slop meme. No foolin’

[Anonymous No.10139630]

>>10139435
he will

[Anonymous No.10139634]

>>10129321
Hang on in there anon.

[Anonymous No.10139643]

i'm marinating some tasty chicken in my fridge

[Anonymous No.10139650]

>>10139204
wheres the hands

[Anonymous No.10139656]

I like my steak at least medium, sometimes medium-well done.

[Anonymous No.10139666]

>>10139643
is this secret pedo language

[Anonymous No.10139672]

>>10139666
no, i'm marinating some chicken for dinner

[Anonymous No.10139755]

>>10129327
Fuck off cunt.

[Anonymous No.10139765]

>>10135650
Get help mate.

[Anonymous No.10139781]

>>10139672

[Anonymous No.10139831]

>>10129319
I love eating unripe bananas and avocados

[Anonymous No.10139837]

>>10139831
:DDD

[Anonymous No.10139850]

>>10139831
I have an ancient chinese secret for unripe bananas , poke a couple holes in the ends of an unripened banana and microwave it in 30 second increments , it ends up turning into a super sweet pudding thing.

[Anonymous No.10139860]

>>10129321
hey look on the bright side, at least you don't post on al/ck/ or sipfag threads so you can't be the most pathetic anon on this board by a longshot

[Anonymous No.10139864]

>>10139860

[Anonymous No.10139866]

>>10138087
no it's for leaving in the store
alternatively, throwing in the trash

[Anonymous No.10139886]

>>10139866
Unless you are making spam sammiches

[Anonymous No.10139964]

>>10139850
Post pics

[Anonymous No.10139970]

>>10138219
nice

[Anonymous No.10139979]

>>10139964
i don't have any bananas or else i would , i learned it from an old Laotian guy i used to work with

[Anonymous No.10140003]

>>10129319
I eat a full tray of Safeway bakery chocolate chip cookies to myself at least twice per month. There have been instances where I ate the entire tray in a 48 hour period. Keep in mind that's about a $150 annual cookie bill, at $6 per tray. fuck you Safeway it used to be $5.

Been going strong for a couple years now, coming up on year three.

How soon till the Beetus kicks in?

[Anonymous No.10140719]

>>10135654
I'm a brit (parents are from india but I was born here) and he's right our food is disgusting, the sooner it dies out the better.

[Anonymous No.10140726]

>>10137865
what are you even doing with you life, anon.

[Anonymous No.10140735]

My relationship kinda sucks and the crush on my boss isn't getting any better and I hate myself for it. I just hate how much we have in common. I hate how nice he is. I hate that I care if I disappoint him. I hate that slinging expensive sugary drinks alongside him is the highlight of my days now. And mostly I hate how quickly it's all happened. I'm turning into my parents.

[Anonymous No.10140741]

>>10129321
Take a multivitamin at the very least.

[Anonymous No.10140758]

>>10129335
Yum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seLXKW9oMUs&t=5m0s

[Anonymous No.10140766]

>>10140758
time skip ahead thing isn't working so just skip to the 5 minute mark.

[Anonymous No.10140782]

>>10140735
I imagine you working at Starbucks. Your worktime lust for your superiors will culminate in awkward, unfulfilling sex. It's funny and sad all at once.

[Anonymous No.10140860]

>>10135281
If you don't have to be around people and you want something more nutritious than cheese slices and bread, you should get dried beans to cook. (If you don't have access to a pot, water, and a stove you can get canned, but they cost slightly more.)

They'll make you gassy af, but they have a lot more nutrition than what you're eating now and they're really cheap.

Also, they're a little more pricey, but if you buy them in bulk, you can get a pretty good deal on unshelled peanuts if you're in the US (our government subsidizes them).

[Anonymous No.10140869]

I went vegan two weeks ago and still haven't mentioned it because I don't want people to argue or debate me. I keep getting invited out for dinner or lunch or tea etc and I can't bring myself to say yes because then I'd have to talk to the waiter about vegan options and everyone would get on my case about it. It feels a bit insincere too, since I've only been vegan for less than a month

[Anonymous No.10140874]

>>10140782

That's the thing. I'm probably more experienced than him, as someone who's been into BDSM for awhile. So, yes, it would be incredibly awkward.
It's not really about the sex, though. I just really admire him as a person. We texted for two hours the other night just exchanging gruesome stories and getting to know each other, after I asked him if he was alright and he ranted to me about everything wrong with the store (not me though, some other people did some stupid fucking things on top of an already stressful day.) We talk all the time at work, too. He makes me laugh and vice versa.
I'd be fine if I never had sex with him. I'm just happy to be near him and to get to talk to him. Nothing will ever happen, anyway; he's got a girlfriend and I'm definitely not his type, in personality or looks. It's all just fantasy.

So, even more pathetic than you imagined, really. I guess I'm lonely.

[Anonymous No.10141019]

most of my meals are white rice, chicken with some spices like cajun, moroccan or italian, or even just salt and paper mixed with oil
and sometimes i add in onions

but i like to cook i just cant be fucked to do anything most of the time

[Anonymous No.10141175]

>>10140874
reading this really pissed me off for some reason

don't post like this again

[Anonymous No.10141510]

I force myself to buy only ingredients (meats, vegetables, rice) when I go to the store to get better at managing what i eat and eat better in general. Then over the next couple of weeks when I get hungry I'm too fucking lazy to actually prepare anything and go through whatever processed food I do have or just don't eat. Unless of course my fatassness gets so bad I make cookies or brownies and then that's all I might eat until it's gone. Recently I've just been eating pb&js with a glass of milk. I tell myself to at least eat some eggs or something but eggs have been so unappetizing lately. I guess I could just go to the store and get something ready to eat but that would take effort and it's also fucking cold.

[Anonymous No.10141538]

>>10129319
I eat fast food at least once a week

[Anonymous No.10141546]

>>10140874
we're all gonna make it anon ;__;

[Anonymous No.10141552]

> Pretend to be vegan to fuck vegan chicks

Been doing this all through college and it still works wonders.

Just bring up food as a subject and appeal to the her vegan vanity. She will talk all fucking day about how special she is for not eating animals. All you have to do is smile, nod, and agree and she'll be blowing you in no time.

[Anonymous No.10141617]

>>10141552
>Just bring up food as a subject and appeal to the her vegan vanity. She will talk all fucking day about how special she is for not eating animals. All you have to do is smile, nod, and agree and she'll be blowing you in no time.

Hmmmmmm.....

on one hand, you have to deal with a self obsessed, vain, bi-polar, shrill of a vegan woman...

on the other hand... pussy

not sure if this is a good deal

[Anonymous No.10141684]

>>10130178
Try to incorporate frozen veg into your diet
Shits easy, just put it in a bowl and microwave

[Anonymous No.10141688]

I just fapped over 2:25 paused
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUmT2O5HeOs

[Anonymous No.10141690]

>>10129327
Used to agree for my parent's shitty roasts
Then I did one myself properly and it was the best thing ever

[Anonymous No.10141695]

>>10141688
When boobies and bodies like this exist, why don't all other girls just immediately stop trying and kill themselves?

[Anonymous No.10141701]

>>10129319
Five Guys is the only burger joint I'm willing to eat at.I've thought on trying another place also in the future.

[Anonymous No.10141706]

My dinner for the past 4 months has been one of the following: pasta, rice, pizza, ramen, grilled cheese, or nothing. None of these have anything extra added to them except for sauce on the pasta and the flavor packet in the ramen.

[Anonymous No.10141710]

Made the 'Ultimate eggslut sandwich' and ended up making 6 of them over the next couple days

[Anonymous No.10141713]

>>10141706
My breakfast during this time has also been either poptarts, donuts, or just a glass of orange juice

[Anonymous No.10141917]

>>10141688
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mky4rVHhO3s
Pause at 1:19

[Anonymous No.10141974]

>>10129319
I know how to cook well, but I usually make some shit slop and eat it because it just tastes good and is easy.

[Anonymous No.10141987]

>>10141552
>Just bring up food as a subject and appeal to the her vegan vanity. She will talk all fucking day about how special she is for not eating animals. All you have to do is smile, nod, and agree and she'll be blowing you in no time.

Can confirm this works almost anywhere in LA.

[Anonymous No.10142020]

Just ate an entire family pack of velveeta shells by myself.

[Anonymous No.10142379]

>>10142020
That's okay man. I ate an entire can of cinnamon buns last week.

[Anonymous No.10142564]

>>10139650

[Anonymous No.10142593]

>>10129319
I don't like tendies.

[Anonymous No.10142705]

>>10129319
I lived by myself for the past 3 years but now I've moved back to my mother's house for ~2 months in between engagements. When I was by myself I would cook pretty much every meal, side from maybe saturdays when i would go out for a stake to a favourite restaurant.

I promised myself I will keep cooking once back but now that I'm here and my grandmother cooks every day I've turned back into a lazy fuck. I need to get this under control. I'm gonna start making bread tomorrow like I used to before.

[Anonymous No.10142710]

>>10141688
>2:25
>not the superior 2:20 which includes the smile and better angle at the titties
You have commited a grave sin my son.

[Anonymous No.10142739]

>>10131096
Those mushrooms and sausage look soo good

[Anonymous No.10142795]

>>10139860
But I do post on al/ck/
Thats the problem

[Anonymous No.10142820]

>>10138018
>sub

[Anonymous No.10142849]

>>10131128
Dump his ass

[Anonymous No.10142864]

>>10131128
>>10142849
This desu senpai. If you've already told him this and he hasn't changed anything about the way he is towards you just end it.

[Anonymous No.10142882]

I think cooking is a tedious chore and i hate being in the kitchen.

[Anonymous No.10142978]

>>10131128
>for a guy who doesn't appreciate me

Oh Iook, it's the "Get out of being a whore free" card

[Anonymous No.10142984]

>>10131128
Does he by any chance pay for the food, the kitchen in which you're cooking and... well lets face it, everything else? Did you think your contribution would end at having a vagina?

[Anonymous No.10142985]

>>10131128

BREAKING NEWS!

SELF CENTERED WHITE CUNT FEELS SHE'S NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH!!!
.
In other news: Water still wet

[Anonymous No.10142990]

>>10131128
>cook food
>do dishes
>APPRECIATE ME
Is that it? What else do you do?

[Anonymous No.10142993]

>>10142864

This is why you never marry a white woman.

She could be 350 pounds, not work while living off of you, and depend on you... and she'll still resent you and blame you for her problems.

Say goodbye to half your shit, cuz that fat cunt is taking it.

[Anonymous No.10143004]

>>10142990
>What else do you do?

She has a vagina, what else do you expect her to do?

[Anonymous No.10143012]

>>10143004
This had better be some taytayswizzle level of vaginal goodness, bruh. And lets face it, it's not.

[Anonymous No.10143018]

>>10142993
>She could be 350 pounds, not work while living off of you, and depend on you... and she'll still resent you and blame you for her problems.

DELETE THIS!!!!

[Anonymous No.10143073]

>>10142864

Yup. Do your man a HUGE favor and leave him now.

The worst thing in life is to live with some resentful cunt that clings to you but still blames you for her own shortcomings.

[Anonymous No.10143992]

>>10142993
>Don't marry white women goys! They'll divorce rape you! Better find a nice Asian or Hispanic girl instead...