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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10131530 No.10131530 [Reply] [Original]

>mom tries to bake something
>"that's too much sugar, i'll just add half/a quarter/a tablespoon instead"
>"mom you really should follow the recipe or it won't turn out right"
>"anon that would make it too sweet. I don't like sweet food."
>recipe turns out bad, dry as hell and hard to eat
>"i wonder why it didn't work!/why aren't you eating it?"
every time
how do I get her to actually add sugar to recipes? I love her but...

>> No.10131554

My mom cuts vegetables with her fingers outwards instead of the inwards claw grip. She cut herself good with my sharp knives...

>> No.10131571

they can't help it.

>> No.10131591

>cooking literally anything
>adds no salt

>> No.10132298
File: 51 KB, 670x377, Wrong.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>follow the recipe or it won't turn out right

>> No.10132323
File: 87 KB, 540x546, 1514640556162.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>fiancee making tea
>puts the water in first
>then the milk
>then the teabag
>wonders why it turns out like shit
>does the same thing with coffee

>> No.10132370

i dont follow

>> No.10132378

You have to throw a tantrum OP, it's the only way your mom will learn. I'd suggest waiting until the middle of the night when she's sleeping. Grab a bag of sugar then go into her room, turn the light on and start screaming at the top of your lungs while waving the bag of sugar everywhere. Make sure to throw some directly at her as well, and all over her bed. Finish by throwing the bag on the floor, turning the light off and walking out.

She'll be angry and confused, but I guarantee the next time she bakes she'll use the correct amount of sugar.

>> No.10132381

My roommate

>consistently starts recipes before checking he has all the ingredients
>oh we didn't have enough milk to make this mac n cheese ... I'll just serve dry macaroni on the side
>always overcooks veggies to the point where they're inedible
>tries to improvize on recipes but totally fucks it up
>yesh, the cookie recipe said to cream the butter and sugar at room temperature but I melted the butter in the microwave and used that
>mashed potatoes are more milk than potatoes
>won't eat spycy food
>won't eat dark meat

>> No.10132386

I'm British. Though, one shouldn't consume Earl Grey with milk, I agree.

>> No.10132406

I'd move out.

>> No.10132745
File: 646 KB, 759x788, Screenshot_20170723_092555.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mom washes raw meat with hot water
>dad uses rancid oil that expired years ago
>using old margarine containers as storage or serving bowls
>all knives dull as fuck. mom says "but they get the job done"

>> No.10132783

There is nothing wrong with using old margarine containers for storage.
That said everything else you listed is infuriating.

>> No.10132796

Well hopefully she learned her fucking lesson huh?

>> No.10133080

you try baking a cake with half or even less than a quarter of the sugar needed and see how it turns out
or not adding the tablespoon needed for bread...

>> No.10133102

my mother never sharpens her knives and it triggers the fuck out of me

>> No.10133365

I never put any sugar in my bread and it tastes fine.

>> No.10133648

I generally find at least a little sugar helps with the yeast blooming, and a lot of recipes call for some

>> No.10133699

this but instead of throwing a tantrum pretend to be the sugar ghost and spook her because if she doesn't use enough sugar she will die

>> No.10134626

OP, my mom does this too, I feel you

>> No.10134645

OP, next time get her to experiment, take half the mixture and add the correct amount of sugar (half of whats required) and then she can add half what she was going to add.

>> No.10134663

is the sugar ghost going to kill her, or did it die and is now warning others?

>> No.10134720

Mum bought some meme colourful knives which can't cut for shit. She preheats the oven if she wants something simple like chips or anything else from the freezer, just put it in for an extra 5 minutes. She'll put used dishes and pans INSIDE THE FUCKING SINK MEANING YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL OUT AGAIN TO WASH IT UP. Can't stand going around there for cooking alone.

>> No.10134805

Baking is not cooking mate, its basically a science.

>> No.10134822

Cooking is an art, baking is a science.
And people who can make up good baking recipes on the fly are fucking warlocks.

>> No.10135114

That's so silly

>> No.10135148

Do not question the sugar ghost!

>> No.10135159

Mom gets mad when I visit and locate the steel to hone her knives before I use them.
>But you make them too sharp, I always cut myself with them.
How she isn't removing fingers with the saws she tries to say are knives I will never know.
And yes, I know steels do not "sharpen" knives, but I get irritated when I see nicks on the blade.

>> No.10135164

My mom never properly drain pasta.
I guess it’s because she’s East Asian so they like watery noodles.

>> No.10135177

It's nowhere near as finnicky as people make out. Recipes are always rounding off quantities to fit whether the target audience uses imperial or metric. Egg quantity is usually given numerically even though different eggs are different sizes. Solids are frequently measured in volume, even though you'd need to be measuring weight to get it consistent. Variation simply doesn't matter that much.

>> No.10135180

Someone failed chemistry.

>> No.10135244

>Doesn't add salt to literally anything she cooks because "food has enough salt already"
>Asks how everything I cook tastes good and gets mad when I just say I use salt and pepper

>> No.10135258

>variation simply doesn't matter much
t. baking experience consists of chocolate chip cookies
Anyway, in OP's case it matters a lot. In lots of recipes if you halve the sugar (which probably calls for cups) without adjusting anything else, it's going to fuck up. Also variation does matter in any baking recipe that isnt braindead status or requires a bit of consistency.

>> No.10135409
File: 342 KB, 500x379, tumblr_lm2o8pvhBW1qfr1m4o1_5001.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

A milky Earl Grey is sublime don't kid yourself.

>> No.10135438

Urgh, my dad does the same thing with dishes and he expects other people to clean up his messes when he cooks.

>> No.10135445
File: 175 KB, 327x243, 153442311324.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>dad doesn't fucking know how to make potatoes not raw because he likes it when it's half cooked for some fucking reason

>> No.10135451

My stepdad cooks for us like it's a really big deal and complains all the way through it and during the clean up.
Just fucking pull up your jockies and do it.

>> No.10135458
File: 49 KB, 324x299, 1424716384672.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The reason young women like baking is that if you follow the recipe it is impossible to fuck up because it is exact. And why do you think bakers use weight measurements instead of volume?
Baking is not cooking, retard

>> No.10135465

We were talking about cake anon, not bread, bread doesn't need sugar but it helps a bit

>> No.10135481

>Cooking is an art
Nice meme. Baking has way more in common with art than regular cooking

>> No.10135522
File: 61 KB, 606x538, bat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>doesn't salt pasta water
>uses way too little salt in general
>can only eat "a warm meal" once a day
>doesn't believe my claim that I need to eat certain amounts of calories and protein a day if I wanna gain weight
>can't stand it when I know something about cooking that she does not
>usually lets me do all the work because of that
>never washes the dishes when she's at my place
>cannot handle the borderline retarded antics of her flatmates

her flatmates
>put stuff in the dishwasher all over the place: diagonal plates, small deep plates with large flat ones, bowls blocking the plate section, cooking utensils blocking the fan, cutlery ending up on the bottom
>leave disgusting used pots in the sink, then leave the apartment for several days
>put shit in the sink instead of the dishwasher right next to it, despite everyone having agreed not to do it 15+ times
>put dirty dishes right next to clean dishes drying next to the sink
>buy tiny sponges the size of a credit card and leave them in the bottom of the sink
not cooking related but they also
>leave light on despite being the last person to leave a room
>leave doors wide open creating cold air currents

>> No.10135524

> Sugar only controls level of sweet in baking
Being this dumb

>> No.10135572

My mother is literally the laziest person on earth, she will always ask me what I do different for dish X because it tastes so much better and then I say something really mundane like "saute the vegetables first instead of just throwing everything into a boiling pot" and she acts like it's some impossible task and tries to get me to make dinner

Also she explicitly only eats off of disposable cutlery to save on dishes because apparently she "can't keep up with the dishwasher" but has no problem with throwing a 36" baking sheet into an entire rack that's only barely dirty from baking frozen food and I end up pulling the big things out and hand washing them to make room

>> No.10135582


>> No.10135646

I second this
literally look her in the face and say this instead of muttering to yourself like a cuck

>> No.10135668

Grandma drives me mad with basically two things:

1) she uses way too much oil/fat when cooking.
Seriously, her lecsó or chilli looks like the aftermath of Exxon Valdez...

2) she prefers 1 single method of cooking fish and that's frying it in butter, sprinkled with caraway seeds. We get a nice trout, she fries the hell out of it until it's soggy and doesn't really have any taste left, when all it needed was putting few slices of lemon and some herbs inside, adding some salt, drizzling it with a bit of olive oil and putting it in preheated oven for few minutes...

>> No.10135674
File: 1.10 MB, 1280x720, palsy cookies.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>doesn't salt pasta water

I have a relative that washes spaghetti in cold water after cooking it. It makes me want to murder. She also makes godawful "cincinatti" style chili with like four tablespoons of cinnamon powder per serving. It's so disgusting the dog won't even eat it, yet it's in their weekly meal rotation.

Not to feed the boomers are terrible meme but most of the 60+ people in my family are abysmal cooks. Just looking at my mom's pantry is like a lesson in 1955 era canned food. Nothing like canned asparagus to get the vomit flowing.

>> No.10135685

hit her with this
>ma, if you're not good enough at baking to change the recipe on the fly at least find a recipe you like and follow it instead of ruining one you hate.

>> No.10135714

My mom always wants her meat cooked through, this includes any steaks etc.

Whenever she cooks she starts doing other things:
>puts on rice, meat or whatever
>either watches tv till something smells burning or goes upstairs
>then yells 10 min later that I or dad have to check on her cooking and continue cause she's busy
>one time she put on beef and went to bed, I came home to find the entire floor filled with smoke and burned beef
>she thought I was coming home shortly after putting the meat on and therefore went to bed
>once tried to run our gas bbq inside the house cause it was raining

Because of their lack of attention their food is always droopy: like rice still being wet. I started doing the cooking myself whenever I am over cause it annoyed me a lot and cause I wanted to eat more than the same 5 dishes every time I visit.

>> No.10135728

>She'll put used dishes and pans INSIDE THE FUCKING SINK MEANING YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL OUT AGAIN TO WASH IT UP. Can't stand going around there for cooking alone.

Oh God.
>mom drinks and eats and leaves plates on the table next to her seat
>walk to the kitchen
>have an empty cup or plate on the table next to you
>mom never does the same in return


>leave the room
>Anon bring me a drink if you go to the kitchen, get me this, get me that
>at some point refuse to or say you didn't plan on going to the kitchen
>Anon my life is so hard, I work every day so when I ask for something you should do it!
>but mom you never do these things yourself either
>Anon thats cause I am your mother!

>Mom leaves dishes on top of the dishwasher
>half a day later
>Anon why did you not put these inside!

I was so happy when I got to move out

>> No.10135732

>I have a relative that washes spaghetti in cold water after cooking it.
My mother does this and it annoys the fuck out of me.

>> No.10135741

it stops the noodles from cooking further as it sits

>> No.10135751

if you know how to cook pasta, it's totally unnecessary. plus it makes the noodles gross and cold.

washing pasta after boiling is a 1960s shitty cooking maneuver.

>> No.10135767

Your dad probably doesn't know about blanching. Why don't you teach him.

>> No.10135768

its a prep thing

>> No.10135776

Sounds like every roommate ever.

>> No.10135779

Noodles don't cook any further once they're drained.

>> No.10135784

its subtle

>> No.10135922

The amount of rage my mom and one of my exes have directed at me over me just saying "I season it it properly and actually use salt." is fucking unreal.

>> No.10135948

get out non-white reee

>> No.10135957

Wait is that fucking normal for a 18+ year old?
I moved out with 17 and havent talked nor met my parents since (21 now). Like, they have been cunts youre entire life and youre still enjoy cooking with them or even talking to them?

>> No.10135968

Mom isn't white trash so I don't have this problem.
We cook together and clean together and our food is the tastiest.

>> No.10136010

>I've never cooked 5lb of noodles before

>> No.10136668

Your mother behaves like a fucking millennial, your dads not around is he?

>> No.10136675

nah kid, nah

bergamot + milk is not good.

>> No.10136691

Your mom is right. Recipes often call for twice as much sugar as they really need.

>> No.10136827

>tossing dirty dishes into the sink instead of spending 30seconds to spray them off and put in dishwasher
>not at least placing dirty pots/pans/bowls in the sink upside down so they don't fill up with dirty water and turn nasty
>recipe calls for whole milk but they're too cheap to spend $1 on a pint of it and claim the soy-milk or whatever hippy garbage they drink is exactly the same

>> No.10136881

So? You dont have to eat his slop.

>> No.10136892

Decorating cakes isnt an art. Its a hobby for women.

>> No.10136964

>Add salt to fries, pasta water, pizza dough
>Add excessive water to pasta sauce
>Flip burgers early which makes part of the burger rip off and stick to the grill
>Cut the food others will eat with their own cutlery
>Overcook chicken nuggets

>> No.10136989

British people just can't help themselves when it comes to ruining food

>> No.10136997

My mother refuses to let me teach her how to chop an onion properly, she cuts them into rings then slices all the rings individually. What makes it worse is that she has a really nice $700 wühstof knife set. I love that woman but holy shit some things about her drive me insane.

>> No.10137116

My mother is a fucking horrible cook despite raising eight kids
>has one dull blade for all kitchen work, she's scared shitless by any kind of sharp knife
>boils burgers after they on stove with insane amounts of worcestershire (i never finished one as a kid)
>moved out and visited again, no measuring spoons, no seasonings of any kind except for salt and 2-year-old ground pepper
>zero knowledge of frying any kind of food
>extreme aversion to complex, layered flavors
>overcooks all meats
>does not taste as she cooks (she sure stopped cooking quick after we left)
>burns hot dogs because she likes them that way(forgivable but weird)

god bless her heart, at least she's clean. its frustrating because my lard-ass dad actually knows how to cook and never taught her or anyone else. now I get stuck prepping holiday meals because no one in my family will read a fucking book.

also my friend will scrape my knife horizontally against the cutting board when he chops and it pisses me off

>> No.10137212

>>not at least placing dirty pots/pans/bowls in the sink upside down so they don't fill up with dirty water and turn nasty
Uh, but filling a pot with dish soap and hot water is a good way to prepare it for a thorough cleaning. Especially if its encrusted with starchy stuff. Overturned pots just clog up the sink
>>Add salt to fries, pasta water, pizza dough
You do not add salt to all those things and consider yourself a superior cook?
>>has one dull blade for all kitchen work, she's scared shitless by any kind of sharp knife
That's the third time I'm reading this ITT. Don't these people realize that its much easier to cut yourself with a dull knife than a properly working sharp one?

>> No.10137400

Theres nothing wrong with adhering strictly to recipes in all forms of cooking. You're free to experiment and try new things, but most people follow the recipes on everything.

>> No.10137789

Yeah but omitting 200 grams of sugar in a cake or cookie recipe is a bad fucking idea

>> No.10137830
File: 19 KB, 540x429, 1442517099402.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mom cooks something
>makes a mess of the entire kitchen and leaves it
>is mostly blind so she can't see that she made a mess
>also has early onset dementia so she'll forget that she ever cooked anything anyway

>> No.10137847

>Oh, anon, I can't eat so many ingredients in this recipe; my new diet tells me they're the reason I'm fat! We'll have to substitute with these bullshit meme ingredients, I'm sure it'll be just as good :)

>> No.10137855

>Don't these people realize that its much easier to cut yourself with a dull knife than a properly working sharp one?
Not him, but no, they don't and there is nothing you can say or show them to convince them otherwise. Believe me I've tried with my own mom and sister-in-law.

>> No.10137868

>I cooked, so you have to clean!
>the """""""cooking""""""" was slopping some canned fat over shitty cuts of meat and putting it over rice in a crock pot
>which she insisted on cooking the night before and reheating the next day
>I now have twice the dishes for a total non-dinner

I can't count the number of times I have almost sperged out and smashed that loathsome piece of ceramic instead of washing it.

>> No.10137903

How would cutting sugar make it dry though? There's also xilyt or stevia if you wan't to cut on sugar but like the sweet taste.

>> No.10137949

>mom and step mom both use a paring knife for FUCKING EVERYTHING
>their knives are all dull as shit and the paring knives have chips and stuff taken out of them

>> No.10137995

Not gonna bother with greentext but my mom is not just lazy as fuck, she doesn't have the smallest idea when it comes to cooking.

Like whenever she cooks pasta she breaks the spaghetti in half, before the water is even near boiling because "it's supposed to be cooked like that, are you dumb?". Or throws literal pounds of meat on a cold pan because "it's gonna cook faster" even though she cook that shit for like 10 minutes each side, and they are not even thick steaks either, they are a like an 1/8 of an inch thick, the she wonders wheb the meat is all dry and tough

>> No.10138049
File: 1.10 MB, 462x270, palsy pancakes.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

ugh. bad knives make me uncontrollably angry. if I'm driving or checking bags when going to family events where I'm expected to cook, I always bring two of my own knives. it may sound spergy but whatever.

>> No.10138062


Fucking this. I always bring my chef's knife and steel whenever I go to family gatherings, even though I always say that I'm not going to cook anything or help out in the kitchen.

>> No.10138068

hey can you cut these for me
>pulls out a glass cutting board

>> No.10138098

I try to watch my grandma and learn how to cook from her.
>she does some stuff I write down
>note her tempreture settings
>ask her how I can notice if I got the right temp
>instead of answering she fiddles around with her settings and lowers it
>ask her why she did it
>"you're right anon" and puts it back up again
I learned from that to just be a very passive spectator, every question I ask will cause her to not do her usual thing. I also learned that cooking is very easy and you can just throw everythin into the pan an wait some time till you think its done. She literially cuts onions above the pan and lets them drop down. I love her.

>> No.10138113

We take turns making shared meals to save effort. We're quite good friends actually, but his cooking is often an abomination.

>> No.10138125

Actually eurofag, blue-eyed, white as fuck from a country with virtually zero niggers.
So you can shove your keyboard up your ass sideways and die.

>> No.10138159

>mam knows family likes spicy food but she never really eats it herself
>adds more heat to meals than recipe calls for without weighing it
>currys, chillis are so hot they blister porcelain and melt cutlery

just a smidge less next time please mam xxx

>> No.10138170

>complains about how fiancee makes tea
>yet uses teabags himself
let ye without sin...

>> No.10138199

That vid was almost painful to watch.

>>has one dull blade for all kitchen work, she's scared shitless by any kind of sharp knife
That's the third time I'm reading this ITT. Don't these people realize that its much easier to cut yourself with a dull knife than a properly working sharp one?

Few years ago I went with my then-GF to spend few days at her friend's flat, cause she went on vacation and needed somebody to look after the dog. You could tell her friend never really cooked for herself, as her kitchen was full of useless shit. She had a set of 6 serrated steak knives, but you couldn't find a SINGLE useful sharp kitchen knife there. I ended up cutting shit for our meals with my swiss pocket knife as it was the sharpest thing around...

>> No.10138220

based grandma. what a good woman

>> No.10138273

she is, in our little village everyone knows she is the best grandma anyone could ask for

>> No.10138297

this made me happy. where are you from anon? could you share any recipes?

>> No.10138322
File: 2.23 MB, 1280x720, dog birthday.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I find it extra sad since good knives aren't even all that expensive. A standard Fibrox chef's knife that basically every restaurant on the planet uses is like $35 brand new.

I've gifted a lot of people with knives, sadly they all tend to not maintain the blades and they wind up dull as shit within a year or two. At least I tried.

>> No.10138329

how do you maintain blades? I feel like I'm probably one of those guys who uses a dull blade.

>> No.10138357

Look up some videos on how to use a steel. It maintains the blade between sharpening and keeps things from getting turbo-fucked. If I'm cooking a lot I usually steel my knives once a week or so.

>> No.10138371

Yeah, because it's bread.

>> No.10138409
File: 2.99 MB, 2000x1333, spaghetti.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

> washes spaghetti

I don’t understand, why would you wash cooked spaghetti?

When I make spaghetti, I dump it from the pot into a colander and shake it a few time, then back into the pot with a tablespoon of margarine and mix it up while hitting it with some ground pepper, then add the spaghetti sauce (Newman’s Own Sockarooni, heated in the microwave) and several shakes of Kraft parmesan cheese.

>> No.10138690

it's definitely a boomer thing. I think the idea is that it washes the extra starch off so the pasta doesn't stick together. The result is nasty cold pasta.

>> No.10138945

Had to move to get closer to a new job so bunking at my mom's while I look for a new apartment.

>uses 6 dishes for a tiny little 400 calorie lunch everyday.
>complains about all the dishes
>I use one bowl or plate for everything and generate 1 dish a day.
>Won't sharpen her knives at all.
>Demands the use of the kitchen sink during prescribed times when I"m cooking for her cat's shit box.
>Wears rubber gloves for said shit box, and just drapes them over the kitchen sink while I do dishes or wash vegetables.

Fucking hell, you're a clean freak but when it comes to that cat's shit box its like its damn turds are gold flecked.

>> No.10138962

>using the kitchen sink to clean a litter box
stop that shit right now

>> No.10138979

I've tried.... so much. She says she likes the pressure of the sprayer, meanwhile the second sink has dishes sitting in the drying rack, getting micro splattered by cat shit particles.

My family has a bad history of schizophrenia on the female side, my grandmother and two aunts had it. Mom just won't stop until she gives it to herself by ingesting cat shit.

Annoying thing is this job is kinda shaky, I'm good at it, irreplaceable and told I"m the best damn IT guy they've ever had. However the owner runs it into the ground and won't let marketing play to its strengths so its drying up. So I'm hesitant to grab an apartment when I might pick up another job in two months close to the nearby big city and will have to move again anyways. So I"m stuck in this mess for the time being.

>> No.10139206

Tea with milk and no sugar is how God intended it. Although I like various teas, I'll always be a black tea with milk man.
t. strayan

>> No.10139420

I think we somehow share a mother. Exact same thing here, except replace litter box with dust pan full of dog fur. Does yours overload the dishwasher such that water can't even possible touch many of the dishes and then admonish you for not doing the same?

>> No.10139533

not that guy but my mother is fucking insane about dishwasher loading. It's like a rubix cube mixed with 4D chess. Everything has to be EXACTLY where she wants it, so generally I just leave plates on the counter when I'm over at their place, and then get yelled at for doing so.

It's like bitch I can't load your dishwasher with the fucking brain surgeon precision that you require either. If you're going to be a cunt, deal with it yourself.


>> No.10139584
File: 174 KB, 680x591, phpE5KqRF.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The bench grinder doesnt take THAT much skill to operate and leaves an edge that lasts for months. You do have to worry about heat buildup since Martensitic steel starts tempering around 151 Fahrenheit, so you let the machine do the work for you and just guide the wheel.

Heard someone fucked up their german knives when they grinded it until it glowed orange. It's kinda hard to get that far if you're pressing it against the weel.

Did it for some cheapo knives and they still have their edge.

>> No.10139604


This is why belt grinders are superior for sharpening. They don't fuck up the temper for the most part.

>> No.10139614

Never gotten tea with milk. Milk in coffee helps curb the acidity, but tea...I mean, I brew double bagged cups and it's hardly strong at all. Seems like it would drown the taste of tea and just taste like hot, watery milk.

>> No.10139629

>Why are you draining it?
>It's too oily
>It's sticking to the pan
>*Adds a liter of pam*
This fucking cunt.

>> No.10139676

Do you at least lend it if you know the person cooking isnt braindead?

>> No.10139688

>she likes the pressure of the sprayer
Garden hoses have those too jesus!

>> No.10139696

If you do shit like that in baking, you're going to have wildly varied results.

>> No.10140397

>>I use one bowl or plate for everything and generate 1 dish a day.
Whoa, not everyone is skilled in summoning magic you fucking caster supremacist

>> No.10140440

too much fucking cornstarch, everything gets all goopy, just not necessary

>> No.10140444

Every baking recipe you've ever followed has done it. The standard measuring systems are simply not that precise.

>> No.10140480


We have a free coffee/tea thing at work and I have Mochas with Earl Grey in. Tastes like chocolate orange.

Also just regular Latte with earl grey is good.

>> No.10140722
File: 81 KB, 600x599, 1461483487141.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


damn what a shitty gf

>> No.10140788

>my dad doesn't cook
>My mom cooks but only uses salt, pepper and garlic powder
>my sister cuts onions with a steak knife
God bless them

>> No.10140797

Using melted butter in cookies only makes them chewier.

>> No.10140805

You forgot the Tim Tam.

>> No.10140816

yeah lots of us have healthy loving families

>> No.10140868

>Ask grandma how to cook something
>"You aren't a sissy, right Anon?"
>"Then stop cooking and get a wife to cook for you"

Thanks for nothing grandma. A shame, because she is the best cook I have ever met and my mither didn't learned anything from her. She wil die and all the family recipes with her.

>> No.10140914

this, omg fucking god this, my mother, my sister, my aunts! I'm the only one who actually follows the recipe

>> No.10140923

flour has starch, starch is technically is a sugar

>> No.10140954

>brings grill inside to use because of rain

I think your mom might just be straight up dumb.

>> No.10141075

Why are women almost universally retarded when it comes to knives? "I don't want the knife sharp because it will cut me easier" "no I don't want to use the big knife I will cut myself instead of the onion". Like my mom, my grandma's, my exes, my gf and almost every woman I know will just cut onions and everything with a tiny steak knife and fucking their finger up and take 20 years all because a Chefs knife is scary and too sharp. I don't understand it you just curl your fingers in and you can't cut yourself, it's so rückt triggering I end up cutting or chopping everything for every meal im around that someone is making. I want to force my gf to do it properly but in scared that since she's retarded instead of just slicing the fuck out of her finger with a steak knife she'll take the finger off if she's using a chefs knife or something larger.

>> No.10141100

>literally gallons of oil in fucking stir-fry or anything fried, or baked or steamed (just how ?!)

Also chocholate everywhere and absolutely zero temperature control.

I love my mum, but just now I see how shitty cook she is.

>> No.10141189

>She wil die and all the family recipes with her.
Aw man, same here. One of my grandmas was Austrian and she made the best Marillenknödel you could imagine (look the recipe up, it's amazing). Too bad she died 20 years ago and took the recipe to her grave. She was a great cook. Sorry for blog post.

>> No.10141463

>thinks he's a genius for mixing fucking keurig cups together
ok, enjoy your bullshit mediocrity, faggot.

>> No.10141488

>Why are women almost universally retarded
should've just left it at that mate

>> No.10141528

My mom used her chefs knife to cut a steel wire. Totally fucked it up and she still uses it without bothering to get it resharpened.

>> No.10141544

several years ago, my housemate's mom came over once and decided to make everyone sandwiches for lunch. she opened the knife drawer, looked at all my Heinkel's knives, and went "ooo, it's nice that somebody in this house has good sharp knives!" and then proceeded to take my 8" serrated bread knife and use it to horribly slice some tomatoes.

bitch I had a santoku knife that was sharp enough to shave with. women are useless

>> No.10141561

You better start stocking up on either benzos or alcohol if you ever plan to have kids.

>> No.10141777
File: 250 KB, 266x243, 1497975094168.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>grills burger patties on medium "so they won't get overdone"

>> No.10141787
File: 29 KB, 657x527, 1514999343861.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mom: I'll just use salted butter when baking instead of unsalted butter and a pinch of salt

>> No.10141795
File: 11 KB, 360x286, angry.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

my mom puts her cast iron in the dish washer

>> No.10141799
File: 15 KB, 480x480, 16938.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>cleans dishes in lukewarm or room temperature sink water
>leaves sponge in dirty lukewarm sink water
>lets pots/pans soak so long they start rusting/flaking
>uses brillo pads on nonstick pans

>> No.10142105

I thought he was talking about cooling pasta down when you have made more than was needed

>> No.10142155

Just admit to them you use black magic already.

>> No.10142171


>> No.10142176

Literally nothing wrong with this

>> No.10142180


>> No.10142196

Isnt that considered a London fog?

>> No.10142204

I love this thread. It's a rich combination of people buying into misconceptions about cooking and people complaining about others buying into misconceptions about cooking, yet there is very little arguing going on within. There is something magnificent happening here.

>> No.10142456
File: 202 KB, 1125x1125, 1477748344412.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mom trying Korean recipes
>adds 0 salt to any of the food
>makes the dish with too many vegetables since they're "good for you"
>homemade noodles are too big so its like biting into raw dough
>adds less beef than the recipe recommends to be "healthy"
>it turns into vegetable goulash with korean spices

How do you make people realize that meat isn't unhealthy? My mom thinks anything with beef, pork, or salt added is unhealthy so all her food turns out bland.

>> No.10142468

My parents use those shitty ceramic knives, the only kitchen knife they have is blunt as shit. Then they'll complain about cooking being tedious when they prep for 30 minutes.
I recommend buying them a knife and forcing them to use it, worked for me.

>> No.10142523

what's the deal with ceramic knives that everyone hates them? can't sharpen them?

>> No.10142644

You can't women are retarded, there is a reason most of em are anemic.

>> No.10142696


>smallest knife
>smallest cutting board
>giant horse carrot

We have all the tools to do this easily, I know because I bought them all. Dont use the fucking steak knife to cut your vegetables and dont use the fucking pairing knife to then cut your steak.

>> No.10142698

You can't control how much salt is in the dough/batter with salted butter. And if it's oversalted, there's no way to correct. With unsalted butter you can just add as much as you need.

>> No.10142701

my parents are fucking annoying when it comes to cooking.

my moms suddenly super OCD about calories, so anytime I even mention the word butter shes like OMG I CANT EAT THAT ITS X CALORIES OMG and then she proceeds to make salad while im trying to make dinner. then my dad is picky as fuck and hates most pasta and rice and bread dishes so he only eats soup and bologne with some feta cheese.

>> No.10142703

This is the case for baked goods baking is science dipshit

>> No.10142707

>sloppy measurements of flour

Enjoy your pile of shit bread/cake/pastry

>> No.10142716

So you just let the yeast die are you are a special kind of stupid without the sugar the yeast die off active dry yeast used sugar as there food yeast from the air are the same if your not using milk or sugar its just going to die

>> No.10142722

Not to yeast they convert sugar

>> No.10142811

you dont have to add sugar, there is sugar in flour that the yeast can live off
But yeah, adding a little extra sugar helps

>> No.10142824

Tell her most girls don't cook anymore and you're trying to impress one with your cooking. And you wouldn't even be lying to your gram.

>> No.10142868

wtf? yeast from the air thrive on just flour and water. you dont need sugar

>> No.10142891

Ah, but assuming the salt of the butter is less than the salt that ought to be added, there's not gonna be anything wrong flavor-wise, right?

>> No.10142903

What is menstruation?

>> No.10143216

Depends on the recipe. It could end up undersalted. And this is assuming you have any idea what the salt content is in whatever brand you're using. And yes, it varies between brand.

But if you're gonna have to reach for the salt anyway, then you haven't saved any time. It's just another step (and thus another thing that could go wrong) in recipes where a little salt makes all the difference

>> No.10143769


Actually it's a full espresso machine with grinder. Admittedly only teabags though.

>> No.10144004


>mom uses a dull curved paring knife for everything
>its not even a nice paring knife. the blade bends from side to side as you cut with it
>somehow manages to not cut herself

>> No.10144154

No but her collection of storage containers is ridiculous. She has SOOO MANY and they all have to go to their "right spot" which is one of 7 drawers that they occupy. If I don't put it in the right one she spergs out and claims "There's a method to the madness" and "I use every one of these, Anon."

>> No.10144163

She's afraid to go outside and use her damn hose that I bought for her when she bought the house 2 years ago.

>> No.10144327

Dude this webm is fucking me up. This shit made me so fucking sad I can't even explain it. That lady just loves her dog and her dog loves her and its like the most pure relationship. These are real friends right here.

>> No.10144351

Name these recipes where half a teaspoon variation in salt content makes a major difference. It's not like different butter manufacturers have an agreed standard as to how much salt goes into salted butter, anyway.

The advantage is not that you're saving time. It's that you're not stocking multiple types of butter.

>> No.10144702

>stepdad leaves dirty, greasy pans on the stove and dishes stacked up by the sink for 2-3 days after cooking, but if i leave a single pan by the sink he bitches at me and threatens to ban me from cooking
>no matter what i'm cooking he always asks if i made any for him, then laughs condescendingly when i offer him some
>hold pan handles with my right hand cause i'm a lefty, step away from the stove for a minute, come back to find my stepdad's turned every pot/pan handle to the left
>he'll constantly rearrange my shit in the fridge or cupboards but gets pissy if i move anything of his
>stepdad buys a new loaf of bread every week and just throws out whatever's left of the old one which is usually around half a loaf cause he's the only one who uses it
dude's a fucking cunt, moving back in with my parents was a mistake.

>> No.10145870

you're mother is an idiot for choosing an idiot

>> No.10145886

>make spaghetti bolognese, putting care into it
>sister instantly adds ketchup, salt and pepper like it was the slop she cooks
I dont cook for her anymore

>> No.10145905

my mother has a collection of tupperware/plastic storage bins that dates back 40 fucking years. she refuses to throw any of it away.

also my parents have a collection of horrible TV dinner trays that they use as snack plates. These are from like 1990 and are completely beat to shit and disgusting. most of them have literally cracked in the dishwasher and been thrown out, but they REFUSE to just get rid of them and use normal plates like civilized people do.

I do not get the appeal of plastic plates. They use plastic cups too, which inevitably get cracked and disgusting looking due to the dishwasher. Actual civilized human beings are meant to use ceramic and glass.

>> No.10145965
File: 17 KB, 385x387, timetodie.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>adds ketchup

>> No.10146011
File: 522 KB, 500x737, ▄█ █▄█ ▄█▀ ▀█▀.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Dosent add salt or pepper whilst cooking.
>drowns dishes like casserole, chilli con carne and curry with excessive water.
>doesn't add seasoning, stock pots or cubes and says the "ready made packet is more than enough."
>Over cooks rice to a grovel like porridge.
>Over cooks pasta so it falls apart to bits in the pan and then has the cheek to moan when I do it aldentae as according to the packet.
>Undercooks green beans and peppers so they are squeaky and like chewing rubber.
>Dosent let me use anything beyond salt and pepper to the point I have to add stuff like paprika, garlic and cayenne in secret without them seeing.
>Turns my music on the radio off or down when I'm cooking.
>Dumps dirty greasy pots and pans in the water straight away before I have a chance to wash the cutlery, utensils and plates to the point I have to fill up two sinks of water instead of one.

>> No.10146110

>Hates rice and bread

wtf is wrong with your dad

>> No.10146119
File: 184 KB, 1910x1000, 104826364-GettyImages-849598162.1910x1000.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mom makes delicious sauces for ribs
>ask how she makes it
>it's hard to explain, anon. I make it on feeling
Come on now.

>> No.10146140

I don't know what kind of cookie you're making, but melting them on any sort of fine, delicate cookie will make them absolutely flat and runny, and the sugar will rise to the surface and you run a high chance of splitting the fats in the batter, the yolks from the melted butter, making a congealed, coagulated looking mess. When you have cake recipes that use melted butter, you'll see that they're added last. With cookies, butter is very first ingredient. That's for a reason

>> No.10146156

My parents would eat frozen foods sometimes but they always would change something about the preparation, purposefully not following the directions.

>> No.10146157
File: 100 KB, 645x1411, asparagus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>decorating cakes isn't an art

>> No.10146554

>giving the child a (You)

>> No.10147753

>>all knives dull as fuck. mom says "but they get the job done"
So much this. My mother buys her knives from charity shops, and obviously they've never been sharpened. Out of more than a dozen, there are only three that are actually useablel, and one of those is a steak knife that half the handle came off.

>> No.10148629

It's a rare thing so let's cherish it.

>> No.10148659

>make similar cake for friend's birthday
>make it as detailed as possible
>bring it over
>friends and I bring out the cake
>looks at it with disgust
>"dude what the hell"
>kek internally
>say "it's healthy. You should be happy"
>keep up poker face
>"this shit is the reason why I had sex with your girlfriend all those times. She's tired you being so 'healthy. All you do is annoy her. She hasn't loved you for months. Get out of here."
>cut the cake
>his face changes

>> No.10150123

Nice try Argentinian lol

>> No.10150322
File: 22 KB, 346x226, 001 (12).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Mom uses a clean spoon to mix raw mincemeat, getting blood all over it
>Uses the same spoon to serve the cooked mincemeat

>> No.10150324

>What is milk tea

>> No.10150378
File: 931 KB, 963x844, I have no mouth and I must scream.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Who cares about the quality of the food as long as it's cheap/free?
>Who cares if the food looks like shit as long as it's edible?
>Who cares if I only make the same 5 meals (2 of which you refuse to eat) as log as you eat it?
>Why should I buy ingredients that aren't on special for $2 more?

>I try not to give you too much to wash up
>*Dirties a deep frying pot, a frypan four 4 litre ice-cream tubs and a giant bucket that doesn't even fit in the sink

Moving away from my mother can't happen soon enough.

>> No.10150402
File: 23 KB, 227x228, 1489333213012.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Mom has a problem with hoarding shit into her fridge that she never uses. Whenever I or my sister are visiting, chances are we'll have to be the ones to throw away old sauce bottles or months-old expired packs of cooking cream or whatever. Like hell, I actually 100% agree with her that expiry dates are just guidelines and that if a food product looks and smells and tastes fine then it most likely is fine regardless of any other factors, but unlike her I usually draw the line of 'fine' at visible mold.

Dad and stepmom at least used to have the opposite problem, they weren't really into the habit of storing leftovers in the fridge and eating them later, they just threw perfectly edible stuff in the trash. I think they've gotten better at not being wasteful, though.

I could write a bunch of shit about grandpa's incompetence and refusal to learn new things, but I don't really want to badmouth him too hard since he's an old man who had to adjust to doing everything in the household instead of just certain things after grandma got half paralyzed. He's got it pretty hard.

>> No.10150624

my mom keeps stuff like sauces, salsa, salad dressing, pickles, etc for YEARS. you open her fridge and look at any of that shit, it's 2+ years old.

the freezer is worse. she freezes coffee (why??) and has had the same stuff in there in half-used bags for 5+ years. she doesn't even drink coffee, it's for "guests". nothing says "welcome to my house" like 5 year old freezer burnt coffee that tastes like pidgeon shit.

>> No.10151316

based mom
gfs mom asked me for my bbq sauce once
I gave her a list of ingredients
"where's the amounts?"
I just smiled

>> No.10151336

Just watch her make the sauce then.

>> No.10151360

Everyone who cooks in my family is like this, including me. I never saw the point of measuring out how much salt or pepper or whatever goes into stuff, it's a pain and you'll learn what it feels like when you shake it into the pan eventually.

My pasta sauce contains three wrist jiggles of italian herb mix and one of ground chillis :)

>> No.10151374

What do you think is in the flour you nincompoop?

>> No.10151403

Cool story bro

>> No.10151458

>tfw too poor to have a dishwasher

>> No.10153514

That dude's little brother has some big tits.

>> No.10153603

Just use a whetstone grinding wheel you faggots

>> No.10153630

My mum was and still is terrified of blood in meat. I ate steak once a week as a child and didn't know it could taste good until i left home

>> No.10153642

they are probably poor as fuck and got lice

>> No.10153696

Is that a topological map of topless Chris Chan?

>> No.10153736

Something that MAY cause ONE type of anemia. Nutritional anemia is real thing, found sometimes in vegetarians and vegans.

>> No.10153829

I mean there is a lot wrong with even using nasty shit margarine in the first place to have leftover containers, but those big sour cream tubs make good Tupperware

>> No.10153842

uh preheating is necessary even for small things? it cooks really uneven if you don't. I've stuck a lot if things in the oven without preheating and it comes out a lil burnt with that gross "raw freezer" flavor

>> No.10153858
File: 486 KB, 900x973, REEEEEE.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>go to my mother's house to pick something up
>4 80 year old cast iron pans sitting on the floor in her kitchen all covered in dog hair, dust, and food droppings

>> No.10153888

>Mom always cleans all non stick cookware with soap and sponge no matter how many times I tell her not to.

>> No.10154074
File: 138 KB, 1247x810, 1489283594240.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10154575
File: 74 KB, 633x758, 1479242400087.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


My mom always boils a shit ton of tea for whatever occasion, then leaves the unused, cold tea in an open kettle in the kitchen to a point it develops a film of white mould.

It boggles my noggles how a person who otherwise maintains a modest kitchen hygiene can't just fuck toss the cold tea in the sink and wash the kettle after use...

>> No.10154585
File: 18 KB, 250x244, 1471870106079.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>nothing says "welcome to my house" like 5 year old freezer burnt coffee that tastes like pidgeon shit.


>> No.10154650

post pic of mom

>> No.10154684

soys can't handle the "bitter" taste

>> No.10154826

maybe you should sharpen them yourself? are you 13?

>> No.10154958

My mother used to be a good cook. Made everhthing fresh, good kitchen hygene, sharp knives.
Then we moved to a "fixer upper" home and she judt stopped giving a shit because we lived in a shithole with a shithole of a kitchen.
I cook every other day now despite trying to start my own business because she will only ever heat things from the freezer. She also mixes curry paste and that gets me right in the fucking feels. Blunt knives with dents in.
Fries everything in a non stick pan that has been battered with metal cookware and scouring pads then insists the pan is shit and not their stupid cooking practice. Actually banned them from using my knives and pans.
Will cook sunday roast and leave leftovers uncovered in the fridge until the following sunday. These leftover used to be made into bubble and squeak and cooked for breakfast or as part of dinner.

>> No.10156614

You rinse spaghetti so it doesn't stick after boiling

>> No.10156740

That’s what olive oil is for

>> No.10156784

Cook with 20 yo Sister à basic meat-tomato sauce everything is perfect salted to the exact amount, turn my back for 5 sec Sister add litteraly an handfull of salt. Have to contain my anger. She doesn't unterstand why it taste bad.

>> No.10156990

lecsó is very obviously a polish or eastern european word

>> No.10157050

Reminder that recipes are created by people just like you who determine how much of X to put in based on their own subjective preferences

>> No.10157083

that's a funny way to spell boomer

>> No.10157142

what the fuck is this graph and how can something be two temperatures at once

>> No.10157153

that's not true right?
I wouldn't have even cut it, I would just picked it up and left.

>> No.10157160

Sounds like she got depressed after the move. That's definitely depression behavior.

>> No.10157225

and then everyone stood up and clapped

>> No.10157248

Flour is a complex starch that breaks down into sugars through enzymatic action that renders it digestible by yeast. Flour is not a sugar, nor does it contain sugar, but through a chemical reaction the sugar breaks off of the carbohydrate chain. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here.

>> No.10157266
File: 7 KB, 225x225, smug pepe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I love her but.

>> No.10157372
File: 449 KB, 1280x1178, 1514442304890.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

No, it isn't. It's a public school/prison mass cooking thing that turns good food into cold sl0ps of shit.

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