/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10714178]

>coffee cup says do not microwave
>I do

[Anonymous No.10714198]

>>10714178
>sausage says to cook thoroughly
>I don't

[Anonymous No.10714228]

>Cereal has a picture of it in milk as a serving suggestion
>Serve it with yoghurt instead

[Anonymous No.10714240]

>>10714228
That sounds iffy

[Anonymous No.10714533]

>waitress smiles and says "have a nice day"
>punch her straight in the jaw, breaking it

[Anonymous No.10714554]

>>10714533
>>10714178
yooooooo

[Anonymous No.10714577]

>about to do something slightly wrong to post in this thread
>do it right instead

[Anonymous No.10714582]

>>10714178
>directions say to let it stand for 2 minutes after microwaving
>let it sit for 2 minutes instead

[Anonymous No.10714585]

>bottle says enjoy responsibly
>wake up in jail

[Anonymous No.10714588]

>>10714577
M A D
A
N

[Anonymous No.10714594]

>>10714585
jej

[Anonymous No.10714716]

>Recipe calls for butter
>Use margarine

[Anonymous No.10714755]

>last instruction says to enjoy
>i dont

[Anonymous No.10714784]

>customer is vegan
>minced beef in tofu

>customer is muslim/jew
>mincepork in beef patty

>customer is hindu/sikh (rare, but I am prepared for everything)
>mincebeef in chicken nuggets

>customer is redneck
>tofu infused with beef gravy and soymilk (not a molecule of beef, just MSG and flavorings)

muslim bonus: a shot of whiskey in their drink

jew bonus: tomato edges arranged into swastika on the patty

[Anonymous No.10714847]

>>10714784
Hello re *ddit!

[Anonymous No.10714854]

>cup says caution: contents are very hot
>spill it on myself anyways

[Anonymous No.10714880]

>>10714784
>mfw muslims get a free shot of whiskey
brb converting

[Anonymous No.10714891]

>>10714784
>12 year old edgelord, the post

[Anonymous No.10715017]

>>10714178
>mommy made me tendies
>punch her straight in the jaw, breaking it

[Anonymous No.10715064]

>>10714178
>soup says to leave it in the microwave for a minute
>I start eating right away

[Anonymous No.10715230]

>restaurant has signs posted around that say "no dabbing allowed please"
>hit the waitress with a dab once she brings my food over

[Anonymous No.10715246]

>>10714178
>Package says to flip halfway through cooktime
>don't
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHOW ME THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT I CAN'T FIND

[Anonymous No.10715286]

>>10714585
I'd put my penis in her vagina if you catch my drift

[Anonymous No.10715292]

>>10714178
so you're a badass because you're drinking melted plastic and styrofoam? Okay...

[Anonymous No.10715304]

>little girl runs a lemonade stand
>punch her straight in the jaw, breaking it

[Anonymous No.10715333]

>>10715292
I've never had that happen, I've repeatedly ignored their warnings and suffered no ill

[Anonymous No.10715446]

>>10715286
That woman would rawdog you in the ass then rip off your testicles like moldy San Marzanos

[Anonymous No.10715464]

>>10715333
it happens every time you do it, you just don't see it. Let me guess, because you don't literally see melted plastic floating at the top of your coffee you think it doesn't contaminate it? Fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.10715484]

>SEE NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION ON BACK
>eat anyways any throw away container
>flinch every time I hear sirens for a week

[Anonymous No.10715488]

>>10715446
woah...

[Anonymous No.10715501]

>>10714784
You're a good egg.

[Anonymous No.10715656]

>>10714784
Nigga where do you work where people tell you their religion

[Anonymous No.10715706]

>>10715656
Just let the kids have some fun.

[Anonymous No.10716074]

>>10715464
The cup is paper, why would there be plastic

[Anonymous No.10716096]

>>10714178
>package says to share with friends
>I never share

[Anonymous No.10716155]

>>10716074
Then obviously I'm not talking to you, numbnuts

[Anonymous No.10716164]

If it fits in my dishwasher, it's dishwasher safe.