/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.10799943]

>Just gonna grab a fry real quick bro. How much do I owe you?

Answer?

[Anonymous No.10799946]

Nothing, since I'm not some penny pinching autistic faggot

[Anonymous No.10799970]

Then I'm just gonna grab my open carry sidearm real quick, "bro."

[Anonymous No.10799973]

>>10799943
A third of your cunt. Just remember it. Twice more and you owe me a proper fuck.

[Anonymous No.10799979]

>>10799943
Nothing dude, we're on a date :)

[Anonymous No.10799983]

>>10799943
Six gorrilian shekels, oy vey.

[Anonymous No.10800011]

>>10799970
open carring is for autisitc people that wanna show off. no ones gonna think you are cool because you have a gun they think you are the next school shooter

[Anonymous No.10800015]

>>10799970
Fuckin' awesome man!

[Anonymous No.10800086]

>>10799943
That's an easy one.

First, before I begin my dining experience, I pour the fries out onto a series of napkins and arrange them via size and colouration. At this stage, I remove any that are unsatisfactory (i.e. black spots, breaks and so on) and count them up. Usually I keep a notepad on hand or a phone app, an abacus is too cumbersome for an outing to McDonald's or Burger King.

After finishing taking inventory of the fries, which usually only takes about thirty seconds, I carefully use the napkins to holster them back in their original container while I divide the number of remaining fries by the cost of said fries, now we've established the base rate per fry, or BR/F.

From there, it's a simple matter of weighing the circumstances. Usually, I keep a spreadsheet in the index of my notebook or on google sheets to compare the situations. If I'm REALLY hungry and I want fries, I charge about 20% more. Likewise, if my companion for the day is super hungry, I knock off 20%.

As I cannot gauge the size from OP's pic, I will use the standard large in the UK and do the following:
£1.69 (children, please keep calm ;) ) / 90 is £0.02, the conditions are normal, so 2p per fry.

Hope this helps you, OP.

[Anonymous No.10800087]

>>10799943
your firstborn

[Anonymous No.10800091]

>>10799943
This kind of shitty copypasta belongs on /b/

[Anonymous No.10800094]

>>10799943
couple days of my life since fries are poison

[Anonymous No.10800141]

>>10799943
That'll be $12.99 plus tip

[Anonymous No.10800997]

People who reach into your food before even asking piss me off. What if I were to say no?

[Anonymous No.10801134]

One of your own fries when your order comes out cause that's the only reason you should be taking one of mine in the first place

[Anonymous No.10801153]

>>10800997
That's why you gotta reach in before they have time to say no.

[Anonymous No.10801189]

Fleshlight full of macaroons

[Anonymous No.10801243]

>>10800997
>People who reach into your food before even asking piss me off. What if I were to say no?
You can do some things to avoid this. From the point of ordering, figure out if you are dining with cheap or rude or flaky-not-hungry-anorexic types and over-order, and ask the waiter to bring appetizer plates for all, and a serving spoon. Or, ask anyone if they want to have some of it when it arrives, "before I start, would anyone like some of this?" then using your clean fork, add some to their plate. Then, after that, "are you sure? no one else? no more than that?" and it's yours alone to enjoy alone. You might have to order more for yourself, if you rake it all out. The point will be made. The check comes? Cover it this time, but for the next time, you have trained them. If it's just one friend that does this from time to time, go ahead and ask the waiter to be generous with the fries or add a second side, ie let him know he will be grabbing a second handful before bringing that plate out from the kitchen.
If someone dips into it after that, and they're a regular friend, you need to up the ante of basic etiquette and lay down your boundaries at the same time. You can be passive aggressive, like put your fork down and just be done with it all like a mama lion helping the children to feed, acting not offended. Offer your leftovers to them too, they obviously need it more than you. Or be nice, like, oh, they are good fries, pass me your plate, and then giving full consideration of how you would have liked communication to happen in the first place, rake a generous amount, ask if they are wanting even more, don't stop raking until you get the clear, you're mr. generous and when they react, you say, "oh I was done" and put your fork down, like a true hero. If they know that isn't true, they catch onto your annoyance. Train your friends how you like things, but you never ever just take it laying down.

[Anonymous No.10801244]

>>10800011
What kind of school shooter does open carry

[Anonymous No.10801245]

>>10799943
1 succ

[Anonymous No.10801251]

>>10800086
Based.

[Anonymous No.10801265]

>>10799943
*take out my gun and point it at the offender's head*
You just made the biggest mistake of your life kiddo, and the last one.
*pulls the trigger*

[Anonymous No.10801276]

>>10801265
BANG BANG
PULL MY POTATO TRIGGER

[Anonymous No.10801280]

>>10801244
the kind in the process of shooting the school, I'd imagine

[Anonymous No.10801781]

>>10799943
One kiss! It's the only correct answer!

[Anonymous No.10802039]

>>10801781
I've seen gays and millenial cis couples literally do this. I always have a gag reflex, so it's annoying.

[Anonymous No.10802456]

Don't eat fries, they're not healthy.

[Anonymous No.10802510]

>>10800086
kek/10

[Anonymous No.10802541]

>>10799970
>grabbing a sidearm you're already open carrying
you've already grabbed it. you can't grab it twice. what the fuck, america.

[Anonymous No.10802559]

expose yourself to children

[Anonymous No.10802612]

>>10802541
Open carry just means in a visible holster, you retard. It doesn't mean you're holding it in your hand. Imagine being this much of a retarded 16 year old boomer.

[Anonymous No.10802621]

>>10799943
>real quick bro
The speed you steal my fry at doesn't affect anything.

[Anonymous No.10802631]

>>10802612
aren't all arms technically "side" arms? I mean, they're on your sides... nobody has a fucking arm growing out of the front of their chest

[Anonymous No.10802633]

>>10802039
>she doesn't like kisses

[Anonymous No.10802635]

>>10802631
It is because they are to be used as a side choice if you need to use it instead of your main firearm

[Anonymous No.10802689]

>>10802631
>he's never seen a chest holster
Also, you can carry it at 6 o'clock, aka in the back of your waistband. That's not your side either. These boomer kids are getting worse by the day.

[Anonymous No.10802731]

>>10802689
You sound really knowledgeable about tactical equipment. Did you win last weekends paintball skirmish where you honed your tactics, lol?

[Anonymous No.10802732]

>>10802731
>lol
*Dabs*

[Anonymous No.10802839]

>>10802689
Isn't there a tactical nail clipper this fag can buy

[Anonymous No.10802854]

>>10799943
>GF wants to grab in-n-out before I give her the in-n-out
>Get fries because i'm not hungry enough for a buger
>Told her to get whatever she wants
>Just gets a burger
>Bitch starts taking my fries
>Tell her i'll go buy some for her
>"Oh anon I only want them because they're yours :3"

Fuck all you french fry stealing bitches

[Anonymous No.10802859]

>>10799943
I need about tree fiddy

[Anonymous No.10803543]

>>10801243
spoken like a true passive aggressive roastie

[Anonymous No.10803580]

>>10799943
***SEETHING***

[Anonymous No.10803601]

>>10799943
i had a roommate that said shit like this, glad he's gone

[Anonymous No.10803605]

>charging someone for taking a singular fry
are you one of "them"?

[Anonymous No.10804362]

>>10801243

Or you can order more food and not act like a goddamn child.

[Anonymous No.10804369]

>Just gonna grab a tendie real quick bro

[Anonymous No.10804379]

>>10800086
5 star post

[Anonymous No.10804391]

>>10802731
he ate the cum brownies at the /k/ meetup

[Anonymous No.10804462]

>>10799943
I'm not Jewish.

[Anonymous No.10804469]

>>10804369
thats a nice tendie supply

[Anonymous No.10804534]

>>10802631
>not having an entire person growing out of your chest to hold your guns for you

[Anonymous No.10804643]

>>10799943
between £0.90 or £1.20

[Anonymous No.10804658]

>>10802731
>he isn't preparing for the upcoming race war
>Just gonna exterminate all whites real quick bro.

[Anonymous No.10804659]

>>10799943

your life...

>unsheathes katana

[Anonymous No.10804666]

>>10804658
STFU noob, remember last time we had to pretend it was "just a joke"? The straight white cismales must not know we are coming or else they might prepare themselves for their inevitable doom at the hands of the brave anteefa revolution. I order you to put away your che guevara shirt and trade it for a hollister shirt. Never think about che guevara again until the Dia de los Taco Trucks.

[Anonymous No.10804669]

>>10804666
>he thinks I'm a commie like his cuck ass
You fags want to ban all guns so you wouldn't even be able to fight a race war. Go back to sucking Achmed's dick.

[Anonymous No.10804675]

>>10804669
>I want to kill all minorities
>therefore when whites become a minority they'll want to kill me!
Projection: the post

All we want to do is force multiculturalism down your throat. Also, you must get on your knees every day and acknowledge that Karl Marx and Mohammed were the most brilliant men who ever lived greater even than Jesus Christ

[Anonymous No.10804856]

>>10800086
That's stupid, just give them the unsatisfactory fries for the same price you dumb gentile

[Anonymous No.10804864]

>>10804369

[Anonymous No.10804867]

>>10804666
>STFU noob, remember last time we had to pretend it was "just a joke"? The straight white cismales must not know we are coming or else they might prepare themselves for their inevitable doom at the hands of the brave anteefa revolution. I order you to put away your che guevara shirt and trade it for a hollister shirt. Never think about che guevara again until the Dia de los Taco Trucks.

[Anonymous No.10804874]

>>10799943
Blunt force is the only response I have for those commies.

[Anonymous No.10804891]

>>10804856
I have a reputation to uphold. I will not sell subpar products to my friends and damage my fry based income. I respect your idea, however.

[Anonymous No.10804916]

>>10804369
Now you've gone too far.

[Anonymous No.10805011]

>>10802854
this is the normiest goddamn shit

[Anonymous No.10805501]

>>10804867
>it thinks kill whitey day was real
look and laugh, kids

but seriously, kill whitey

[Anonymous No.10805988]

>>10804891
You keep your honor, goy, while I build my empire upon unsalted, spotty french fries I dropped on the floor

[Anonymous No.10806023]

>>10800997
>>10801243
You people need to reevaluate your friendships.

For what reason would you ever take food off of someone's plate without asking? This is something that goes back to our caveman days: it's primal. We used to have to fight, steal, hunt, or kill for food. There was no alternative. Any encroachment on your food was a threat to your life.

Obviously times have changed, I'm well aware of that. But I can't fathom why you'd want to hang out with someone who takes your food without asking.

I told my friends long ago that I don't do bites, sips, or portions of my meal unless I've finished and it's left over. My friends also know that I make much money money than they do and would gladly pay for their fries/a side of their choice from time to time should they ask, but they never do. It's good to set a precedent. And nobody has ever called me out for being greedy, or tried the "omg calm down dude it's just one fry xD it's nbd!" bullshit because I've told them years before of my policy regarding food. If your friends try that shit on you, you need to get new friends.

If you set a precedent they'll remember. Likewise if you falter even once and relinquish a single fry, a single potato chip, a single sip of your drink even once they'll remember if and call upon your weakness. So don't let it be an option.

[Anonymous No.10806243]

>Oh wow these are gud
>you wouldn't mind if I grab some more right hon?

[Anonymous No.10806250]

you can suck my cock, ironically and no homo of course. lol!!!!

[Anonymous No.10806326]

>>10799943
I need about tree fiddy

[Anonymous No.10806430]

>>10799943
You owe me a kiss, babe

[Anonymous No.10806470]

>>10806243
JUST GET YOUR OWN DAMN FRIES IF YOU WANT FRIES

[Anonymous No.10806501]

>>10802612
I think he meant if it's visible you don't need to then grab it to make your point unless you're the kind of guy who uses open carry as a replacement for a tiny dick.

[Anonymous No.10806507]

>>10802039
oh no people having a good time

[Anonymous No.10806518]

>>10806470
>ruining the happy dopey face of a miata
Some men shouldn't be given the privilege of driving.

[Anonymous No.10806540]

>>10799943
>"Just gonna gra-" *fashunk!*
>"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Anonymous No.10806655]

>>10806540
I wish I could do this to every single roastie on this website.

[Anonymous No.10806661]

>>10806655
So brave.

[Anonymous No.10806688]

>>10806655
Seek professional help for your instability.

[Anonymous No.10807230]

>>10799943


>>10799943
you know until i read some of the posts in this thread i thought i was socially retarded, but the thought you guys put into sharing your food has really opened my eyes to how normal i am and how autistic you are so thanks for that anons

[Anonymous No.10807594]

>>10800011
>open carring
I prefer to keep my car concealed so no one thinks I am driving the next car of peace.

[Anonymous No.10807645]

>>10806688
Not him, but hating roasties is pretty logical. He seems pretty stable to me desu.

[Anonymous No.10808028]

>>10807645
Only if you're gay.

[Anonymous No.10808031]

>>10808028
Roasties =/= women you dumb legbeard

[Anonymous No.10808055]

>>10808031
Pretty safe to assume you mean all women since you've never seen a labia before anyway.

[Anonymous No.10808075]

>>10808031
All women are inherently roasties, sorry to rinse off your brainwashing. They're all the same inside and you don't need that shit in your life.

[Anonymous No.10808108]

>>10805988
and we see how the jew creature works

[Anonymous No.10808164]

>>10806655
based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.10808565]

>>10799943
Chip tax.
If you get a plate/basket/shovel of chips at a table everyone is entitled to one or two. If someone takes three though you scold them, because they need a license for that.

[Anonymous No.10808568]

>>10799970
>Be American
>Take a freedom fry
>Get shot
Checks out

[Anonymous No.10808602]

>>10800086
How’s life on the spectrum?

[Anonymous No.10808611]

>>10799943
>An order of fries is like 99 cents to MAYBE 4 or 5 dollars
>people unironically get angry about change
fucking poors

[Anonymous No.10808620]

>>10799943
>pulls out my Texas Instruments BA II Plus

[Anonymous No.10808635]

>>10804369
There's like 11-12 I can't eat that much thanks bro help yourself.

[Anonymous No.10808721]

I went to a muslim place the other day and they make some american foods and amazingly they have the best french fries ever. The only downside is they aren't that good after reheating so you gotta enjoy them while you're there.

[Anonymous No.10808756]

>>10799943
your life

[Anonymous No.10808763]

>>10808565
>food served on a fucking shovel

[Anonymous No.10808766]

>>10808763
>not cooking and eating directly from a cast iron shovel

[Anonymous No.10809042]

>>10799943
No probs, bro
Do you also want to take a bite of this juicy burger?

[Anonymous No.10809059]

>>10800086
how do I join your business?

[Anonymous No.10809062]

>>10799943
-grabs him by the throat-
back the fuck off !?!?

[Anonymous No.10809077]

>>10801280
LOL holy shit yeah you're right senpai

[Anonymous No.10809106]

>>10808565
Going by all of the shitposting I've read I assume that photo was entered as evidence against the restaurant's proprietors.

[Anonymous No.10809558]

>>10808763
>>10809106
You are like little baby.
Watch this.

[Anonymous No.10809561]

>>10809558

[Anonymous No.10809567]

>>10809561

[Anonymous No.10809572]

>>10809558
>tfw you bring your autistic son to a fancy restaurant but he brings his legos

[Anonymous No.10809634]

anal sex

[Anonymous No.10809693]

A quarter. If drunk I would take the entire basket of fries and jam it in their face (if they reached their hand onto my plate without me knowing them)

[Anonymous No.10810598]

The total cost of the whole thing, because they contaminated the rest of it.

[Anonymous No.10811133]

>>10804534
>Start the reactor

[Anonymous No.10811312]

>Friend does this all the time
>But they get upset when you do it once

What is your plan of action?

[Anonymous No.10812482]

>>10806507
fuck off, retard

[Anonymous No.10812502]

>>10799970
If you need a gun to be tough, you’re not tough.

[Anonymous No.10812603]

>>10799943
your ass bro no homo

[Anonymous No.10812608]

>>10799943
12.99 plus tip

[Anonymous No.10812609]

>>10806655
Redpilled and based

[Anonymous No.10812614]

>>10799943
Yes, but what does this have to do with weed?

[Anonymous No.10812708]

>>10812614
N-nani?

[Anonymous No.10812734]

>>10806655
and redpilled based

[Anonymous No.10812929]

>>10799943
A bite of your food, faggot

[Anonymous No.10812963]

>>10806655
this

[Anonymous No.10813326]

>>10809567
Hold my beer, anon

[Anonymous No.10813620]

>>10799943
My ancestors were aztecs... you ahve no idea what you just did you fucking moron.

*pull out knife stab chest and rip out heart*

Now were even.

[Anonymous No.10813637]

>>10806655
This and checked!

[Anonymous No.10813643]

>>10809558
But, can I keep the Legos after I'm done?

[Anonymous No.10813655]

>>10813643
I don't see why n-
>Legos
No.

[Anonymous No.10813660]

>>10799943

Owe me? The fuck? What stingy cunts r u hanging out with?

[Anonymous No.10813668]

>>10813655
They're not Legos? Mega Blocks? Sorry I grew up

[Anonymous No.10813764]

>>10813668
You never say "legos" it's "lego" and the company itself says they prefer people not say "lego" by itself you are supposed to say "lego brick" or "lego set".

[Anonymous No.10813773]

>>10813764
My bad, always thought that multiple lego blocks = legos
>Dear journal, today I've learned....

[Anonymous No.10813779]

>>10813764
They say that because they don’t want their trademark to be genericized like kleenex. Fuck those Danish pricks, I’ll say Legos if I want.

[Anonymous No.10813787]

>>10813779
I mean you can but you'll sound like an idiot to some people. Especially anyone that speaks Danish.

[Anonymous No.10813801]

>>10813787
Anybody who judges me for using wrong terminology of a trademark is someone whose opinion I don’t give two fucks about.

[Anonymous No.10813803]

>>10813787
Literally no one except you actually refers to them that way.
You sound like an idiot to the entire rest of the world.

[Anonymous No.10813831]

Fun fact, lego(s) got their name from when a kid was playing with them and his mom said "le' go of that come have dinner." Let go... lego. Lego.

[Anonymous No.10814080]

Fun fact, eggo got its name when a kid was making a lot of them and his mom said "le go of that eggo waffle" e go...eggo. Eggo.

[Anonymous No.10814107]

Fun fact, preggo got their name from when a kid was playing with his pregnant mom and his mom said "come have spaghetti cause i'm preggo and hungry." Pregnant... preggo. Preggo.

[Anonymous No.10814229]

>>10813801
>>10813803
Lego is a Danish word that means "play well". It's like using the incorrect plural for any other word. But on purpose.

[Anonymous No.10814314]

>>10814229
Sort of. It's a brand name that is made by combining two Danish words. "Play well" is actually "leg godt". "Lego" is nothing more than a brand name inspiried by those words.

In Danish people call it "Lego" with no S. The english speaking world seems to like to stick the S on the end, even though the packages, instructions, etc, never say "legos". Anytime multiple parts are being referred to it's always written "lego pieces" or "lego bricks" or simply "lego".

But people are pretty dumb about foreign words in general. I often see people using the term "fajitas" as though it is plural. It's not. It just happens to end with an "S". Dummies gonna dumb, even when the know better. I.e. >>10813803

[Anonymous No.10814346]

>>10814314
Thanks for the explanation. Didn't know some of that.

[Anonymous No.10814350]

>>10814314
Imagine being this autistic

[Anonymous No.10814353]

>>10814314
You're a corporate fag, they don't want people saying Lego bricks just like band aid says "band aid brand bandages" since they can lose their trademark retard

[Anonymous No.10814370]

>>10800086
Absolute legend, cunt

[Anonymous No.10814376]

>>10814350
Imagine being dumb enough that you need it explained to you.

Fuck, just look at the damn logo. there's no "S" there so why are people adding it?

[Anonymous No.10814411]

>>10814376
Imagine being so autistic that you don't understand why people don't say "Legos" over "Lego brand bricks"

[Anonymous No.10814482]

>>10800086
>and arrange them via size and colouration

I thought I was the only one who arranged things by size and shape like that.

[Anonymous No.10814864]

>>10802854
Women are unevolved animals. They want your food becouse it simulates you being a primal hunter and her mooching off your kill. Your money buying her food Doesn't figure in her mind. She will take your money to get a free burger thats nice but when she sees you eating it triggers her deepest primal urge to get food from you.

[Anonymous No.10814910]

Typically if they are a friend in good standing I will share whatever I have with them. I'm sure they would do the same for me. I cant really recall how many times this would happen to me though. If i have some fast food and I am with friends why didn't they get some I hate to eat alone and if they dont have money ill stop them. And it we are at my home I would have made they food. I honesty dont think I have ever had this problem. And if I did its so inconsequential it didnt register as a problem.

[Anonymous No.10815134]

>>10799943
You owe me one bottle of 'vark sauce

[Anonymous No.10815821]

>>10813764
Interesting. Turns out the way I said it as a kid was the correct way this whole time. "Legos" just didn't sound right somehow.

[Anonymous No.10815836]

>just gonna grab a rock real quick bro

[Anonymous No.10815837]

>>10815134
You can have the spare I keep in my purse.

[Anonymous No.10815851]

I hate the millenniall phrases like 'real qwik'. Niggers say that. The sooner you become a nigger, the sooner you will become irrelevant, the same way that most niggers are irrelevant today.

[Anonymous No.10815855]

>>10815851
People were saying that in the 90s. Probably earlier. Unless there's something weird about the pronunciation implied by your spelling. It seems to read the same as "quick" to me.

[Anonymous No.10815860]

>>10815855
People were not saying it enough in the 90s for it be a meme like it is now

[Anonymous No.10815863]

>>10799943
Oh.. Just a favor...

>*grin as widely as physically possible and hold it for several minutes until my cheek muscles give out*

[Anonymous No.10815869]

>>10815860

[Anonymous No.10815874]

yeah go ahead

[Anonymous No.10816488]

>>10799943
You must allow me one deep kiss on your tender asshole.

[Anonymous No.10816492]

>>10802839
lol yeah there probably is and costs like $50