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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10814626 No.10814626 [Reply] [Original]

What's the most autistic thing you've ever done at a dining establishment?

>> No.10814674

I accidentally carried two bottles of Secret Aardvark Habanero sauce home in my purse. I just got so used to doing it, like muscle memory.

>> No.10814683


>> No.10814688

brought my own bottle of hotsauce in

>> No.10814695

Saw a bottle of this shit sitting on an uncleaned table and threw it the fuck out just to spite advertisers on a Somalian murder board

>> No.10814716

Cried during an entire meal, including me eating what they gave me.

To be fair, I was crying before I went in. Dog died a messy, loud, painful, needless death because of some white trash neighbors and I wasn't taking it well. Some friends forced me to get off the floor and go out somewhere, so they took me to some mexican restaurant and ordered me nachos. We all sat and ate as I silently cried, all the while being stared at by everyone in the restauraunt.

I sued the shit out of that family responsible for killing my dog. Turned out that me crying at the restauraunt trickled down to the judge in our case and worked in my favor. The family had to foreclose their house, lost their business, and are no longer allowed in the neighborhood.

But I'm still told that crying about a dog is autistic and that I ruined everyone's meal.

>> No.10814726

that just means they are gonna buy more so you helped them out.

>> No.10814731


> Be me
> 12 years old
> eating pizza a CiCi's
> Chewing food until I hit something I can't chew
> Spit it out
> See tooth lying in front me me
> I scream "There's a tooth in my pizza!"
> People sitting around us get up and leave
> A lot of people end up leaving
> Working staff looks around frantically and manager begins to walk over to us
> My mom: "Son, is it yours?"
> "Oh, actually it is"
> Continues to finish eating pizza

>> No.10814747

I was scooping nacho cheese out of one of those salad bar vats with my hands and scarfing it down until one of the employees stopped me. My parents were extremely embarrassed and we never returned to that restaurant again.

>> No.10814749

lies. the best you can get for someone killing your dog is the price of the dog.

>> No.10814756

I never leave my sauce at home

>> No.10814769

>be 21
>broke as fuck
>taking my girlfriend on a date night to a fine French place
>nowadays woulf be $$$ or $$$$ on yelp
>eating dinner, calculating the price of the meal throughout
>i'm second-guessing my desire to afford it
>afterward, waiter asks if we want coffee or tea
>I ask how much the coffee is
>waiter stammers, "uh, I dunno, like two bucks or something?"
My girlfriend told me she had never been more embarassed in a restaurant in her life. We broke up a year later.

>> No.10814771

>eating pizza at an expensive pizzeria
>pizza is eaten with knife and fork
>get one portion to big on the fork
>fuck it, i can bite it
>foods fells from the fork and lands on my lap
>grab it and eat it anyway
until this day i feel like a fucking boar

>> No.10814788

At any restaurant you shouldnt ask the price of the coffee or the couvert. I dont blame you anon, you did fine. Btw in my country it is considered very rude to not tip 10% to the waiters

>> No.10814804

I learned my lesson. Now, I have a good enough job that I have never had to even bother looking at prices in the menu at any point. Feels good.

>> No.10814837

I didn’t like the sausage and pepper plate I ordered, and a table with 10 people left behind a plate with 3 sliders on it so I grabbed them. it was outdoors at night. another group of people saw me but the waitress didn’t. not too bad overall, no ragrets

>> No.10814900

>eating at Outback for my birthday
>waitress is lazy and rude, a stereotypical roastie
>cuck step dad and mom just go along with it
>ask her to refill my tea
>takes her sweet time
>tell her she better step up if she wants a tip
>she gives me a really dirty look
>comes back 20 min later with my food
>my prime rib is well done
>tell her to take it back and cook me a new one
>my mom tries to say it's not a big deal
>I was already mad but this pushed me over the limit
>order the waitress to get me another prime rib or I will lose it
>she scoffs and actively avoids our table for 30 min
>comes back with a fresh plate of prime rib
>it looks fantastic. Beautiful marbling, medium rare, well seasoned
>see bubbles in the puddle formed by steak juice and melted butter
>immediately stand up on my booth and scream at the top of my lungs accusing her of spitting in my food
>she is mortified and on the verge of tears
>my parents try to calm me down
>I'm screaming louder at this point calling her every curse word I know
>I jumped down off the booth and shoved my finger in her cunt face and just screamed "YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH!" over and over
>the whole restaurant is silent except for my screaming and her muffled crying
>eventually some male staff come over and try to pull me away
>try to kick them away, they get mad
>explain that she spit in my food and I want the manager
>the manager (another roastie, no wonder that place sucked) arrives and says I have to calm down or leave
>I'm irate at this point, I started screaming about our waitress spitting in my food
>starts giving me some bs about how i'm being too aggressive and shes going to call the cops if I lunge at her again
>use my whole arm to knock everything off our table and storm out
>my parents were apologizing and trying to make excuses while I was outside screaming at customers going in and out and how she spit in my food
>cuck step dad actually paid for our food
>screamed at them on the way home

>> No.10814919
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>> No.10814942


Lawsuit started as small claims for the medical costs but was moved to criminal charge of animal cruelty after I met three other families in the neighborhood they'd done it to before. I convinced two of them to pursue cases of their own and we got them hit with three counts of animal abuse which landed them each with 6 months of jail time and $5k fine for each charge. My lawyer was somehow able to get access to their Facebook messages which proved intent (in my case, at least) which the judge hit hard on. The shithead mom also bragged about it to her employees, some of which were glad to testify. She eventually lost her business from the bad word of mouth. The husband got fired from his job (his boss was distant relatives with one of the other victim families) so they all went to fucking jail, lost their businesses, lost their houses, and were banned by the local HOA. My dog is still dead, though.

>> No.10814988

A true hero

>> No.10815003
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Not copypasta; if it seems familiar, it's because I've posted this before
>be me, functional sperglord with OCD
>on date with tinder qt
>we meet at mall and browse shops before going to eat
>she buys me a hat and I buy her one
>I put on hat
>we walk around some more
>realization hits me
>I cannot wear a hat while I eat due to OCD
>I cannot remove a hat without washing my hair immediately due to OCD
>we get to restaurant
>I only order drinks
>just sit and drink while she eats
>too embarrassed to explain why
>could cut the awkwardness at that table with a fucking knife
>walk her to her car after dinner
>no kiss goodnight
>never hear from her again

>> No.10815004

Dumdum detected. Generally it will be the price of the dog or its care, but it can go further depending on the circumstances

>> No.10815100


>> No.10815112


>> No.10815120

>12 years old and being this stupid
You are white or latino aren't you?

>> No.10815125


Was the other family a pitbull-trash family?

>> No.10815126

What’s it like losing a doggo, anon? I’ve never had one, but I want one so bad.

>> No.10815185

Different anon, but for me it's pretty much like losing a close family member.

>> No.10815231

Would you mind sharing the gist of what happened?

>> No.10815234

Once when i was like 8 i was at a Denny's with my family and when the waitress asked what I wanted to drink I said "Suprise me" cuz i thought it was cool, but she looked at me kind of akwardly and my mom ordered a root beer for me. I felt stupid

>> No.10815236

Choked on some meat, nobody came to help.

>> No.10815243

Nobody wanted to interrupt you blowing your dad

>> No.10815252

>my little brother's birthday
>everyone got cheap burgers with fries to eat
>they went to play some games and leave half the burgers there
>mama tells me i can't eat as much as i want
>eat like crazy knowing i will not eat that in a long time (i live alone)
>kids returns and they end up hungry for not having enough food.

I feed like a fatass piece of shit

>> No.10815256

I've also tried this trick at a restaurant before, I think most waiters/waitresses are just working to the maximum potential of their less-than-minimum hourly. Is it autistic to want something random to explore the menu? Probably.

>> No.10815257

I don't understand why that would be seen as autistic. Your Mom should have let the waitress bring you something you weren't expecting. This is essentially the idea behind the omakase course in fine sushi establishments.

>> No.10815268

I do this at bars all the time. The bartender that brings me something original gets a nice tip. If he gives me a sour look and just pours me a jack and coke I leave him nothing. Given how much most bars charge for drinks, I don't think a little creativity is too much to ask for.

>> No.10815273

You asked the price of coffee at a classy restaurant *face palm* omg

>> No.10815293


>> No.10815297

GF sounds like a bitch, it shouldn't have been that big of a deal. Good restaurants know their clientele, and fine dining establishments' bread and butter is people on a budget splurging every now and then. So it shouldn't be that outlandish that someone should want to make sure they're not getting charge $18 for a cup of coffee.

>> No.10815322

>be at Chinese buffet
>ate too many mushrooms too quickly
>vomited on floor
>got new plate and kept eating anyway while busboy cleaned up my puke
>could hear servers snickering amongst themselves about me
But at least I'm not this guy.

>> No.10815337

should have just got the tendies

>> No.10815372
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>> No.10815379


>> No.10815387

I remember this. One of the distinctly weirdest posts on /ck/

>> No.10815394

Man, you... sort of deserve not to reproduce.
Is there really no part of you that is inclined to assume those behaviors are bullshit? I know it’s real, but do you not ever just go “I’m not gonna die, and if I die whatever”?
I would pretty much go against that until it caused me physical pain and then some more until I felt bored.

>> No.10815400

>the idea behind the omakase course in fine sushi establishments.
Get a load of this weeb

>> No.10815401

You weren’t autistic, give yourself a break.
Dude, it was a Denny’s.

>> No.10815404

No, you’re pretty awful.

>> No.10815415

Nah homie it's pizza, and unless you eat fine dinning every day pretending like you're top shit just because you're eating fancy once is pretty cringe

>> No.10815431
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>nobody came to help
Thats the fucking worst! Same thing happened to me when I almost drowned at the public pool. I tried grabbing someone for help, but they just pushed me away. My mom pulled me up at the last second. When I got topside, I looked around and no one (not even the fucking life guard) noticed.

>> No.10815436

I've lived through 8 and I'm 25. Eh

>> No.10815442

An anon in another one of these threads actually helped me overcome that particular tic. I went to a psyche and was properly diagnosed, and eventually trained myself to be able to do it through exposure therapy. I still basically feel like I'm walking around farting out loud or something when I get hat-hair, but I'm able to bear it. Xanax also helps if it distracts me too much.

>> No.10815469

One time my dad took me to a restaurant he liked and he ordered "the usual." Wanting to be cool like my dad, I asked the waitress for "the usual" too, only to find out that that's not actually an item on the menu and you'd need to have eaten there a bunch of times for them to know what the fuck you wanted. I was like 8 though so it wasn't exactly autism, just goofy little kid shit.

>> No.10815477

this reads a lot better if you assume the typo is actually purpouseful

>> No.10815488

went to the bathroom and, having already paid and not thinking it through, tried to leave through the back door, predictably setting off the alarms

the walk of shame across the restaurant was fun

>> No.10815513


>> No.10815610
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yes I'm sure a fastfood place is comparable to fine sushi restaurant

>> No.10815613

trying hard to peel shrimps and being politely informed by the waiter that they are already peeled
in my defense, I've never had shrimp before

>> No.10815661
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>Be me back in high school
>Got a date with a cute goth girl
>Go to the graveyard and shoot the shit with some deadies
>Everything going well, we're kissing as we wax our angst against each other
>Get hungry
>Go to dennys
>Get a hamburger with some coffee
>We continue vibing well and I start thinking she's the one
>Start getting ready to head out to a nearby park for some fun
>Bathroom first
>Finish up and start washing my hands
>Pop some gum and examine myself in the mirror
>Notice back side of me is covered in mud from sitting in the graveyard
>Somehow think it's a good idea to wash it
>Take a bunch of toilet paper and start wiping my ass in the sink
>Soon after a worker walks in and sees me doing this
>Yells and walks the fuck out
>Stop and follow with a sopping wet ass
>Starts yelling at his co-workers that some guy shat himself in the bathroom
>Date is waiting for me by the doorway in clear earshot
>Walk up to her and force a laugh without acknowledging the guy
>As we leave, worker comes back out and stops us
>Asks me if I made a mess
>Threatens to call cops before I even respond
>Tell him I couldn't shit anyway because I was with a lady
>Date visibly irritated by me
>Tell the guy to fuck off and walk out
>Awkward silence gets broken by her asking if I was okay
>Tell her I am and that the guy just barged in at a bad time
>Notice a really bad smell
>The wet mud on my ass was reeking still
>Get told she's tired and wants to go to sleep so I take her home
>Walk her to her door and tell her I had a blast
>She did too
>Go in for a kiss
>Start frenching
>Somehow think it'd be the sexiest thing ever to spit my gum into her mouth
>Shoot that shit down her throat and cause her to start coughing
>Hacks it back up and spits it out
>Looks at me in complete disgust and storms inside
>Walk away and sit in my car until daybreak wondering why I did these things
>mfw she tells everyone what happened at school and everybody starts giving me shit for it until I graduate.

>> No.10815926

< anon lost 50 GBPs that say.

>> No.10815929

Is all this text worth reading?

>> No.10815935


>> No.10815942

Anon rolls in graveyard mud with goth girl and she thinks he shat himself end of story

>> No.10815943

Damn. What's a good long post to read right now?

>> No.10815950


>> No.10815953

This one >>10814900

>> No.10815955

Thanks. Looking forward to them. I'll just make some popcorn and crack open a frosty bottle of beer first.

>> No.10815959

>eating pizza with a knife and fork even at an expensive joint
that's silly anon! you were being silly!

>> No.10815968

Reminds me of when I was in Italy and they gave me a knife and fork with my pizza. I almost had a mental breakdown. I was in Rome and wasn't sure what the Romans do.

>> No.10816003

Brave and honest.

>> No.10816012 [DELETED] 

No lifeguard?

>> No.10816034

what happened to your dog, what did they do

>> No.10816036

I thought you said drinking establishment. One time I got so drunk at a bar, I wandered into the women's bathroom and started taking a piss and didn't notice I was in the women's room until a woman came in behind me.

>> No.10816046

In a Japanese steak restaurant I poured myself a glass from a tumbler on the table.
But it was steak sauce.

>> No.10816047

That's not autism. That's as NT as it gets, drunkard.

>> No.10816051

That's nothing compared to when I was woken up by someone and i was covered in puke in the women's restroom

>> No.10816056

I brought cheese crackers and summer sausage to a movie theatre once

>> No.10816062

>actually did the reservoir dogs tipping thing to impress a date

>> No.10816084


how do you write a story like this and not at least summarize what happened w the dog? you really are autistic

>> No.10816090

Was she impressed?

>> No.10816095


apparently it's "disrespectful"

>> No.10816098

Is it like the torture scene? That's the only part I remember. Gets me horny to think of it.

>> No.10816150

You cut it with utensils and then pick up the slice and eat it with your hands. The proper way to cut is half, then quarters, then eighths.

>> No.10816175
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best one in this thread yet

>> No.10816176
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>> No.10816186

nah thats just cute

>> No.10816208

Probably not the most autistic but it always raises a good kek when I think about it. Went to a Boston pizza with family, guy at the front was a dumb stoner and you could tell he was baked when you saw him. so I took all he mints and tooth picks while he wasn't looking. I asked him to refill them so I could get a mint. He did and I emptied them again (I had a jacket with big ass pockets) asked him if he was going to refill the mints again he looked at the bowl as if it called him a fag then refilled it again. I did this 2 more times before leaving. Had a baseball cap on my dresser filled with them for month's.

>> No.10816214

Crying about an animal you cared for is perfectly natural, unless it was a food animal like a chicken.

>> No.10816231

What did they do, you fucking retard? How did they kill three neighborhood dogs?!

>> No.10816243

>Friends birthday
>I arrive in the city we are meeting at to go for food.
>Start feeling horrendously ill when we arrive at Mexican restaurant
>Have some cocktail drink and a starter
>Rush upstairs to the toilet as I start to feel nauseous.
>Sick on staircase
>Apologise and go home

There's also a few times I've eaten too much and been ill in a restaurant's bathroom as a youth. I grew out of it as I became an adult.

>> No.10816244

Don't respond to these psychopathic requests for morbid details Neurotypicals prove themselves the worst humans yet again.

>> No.10816247

Crying about a dog is opposite of autistic

>> No.10816252


>> No.10816253

Autists have a stronger emotional relationship with dogs than they do with normal humans. Their distinguishing feature is sharing more genes with dogs than most humans do.

>> No.10816270

>working nights
>go to a town to look at a house for sale
>afterwards go to Mexican restaurant
> order fajitas
> 1/2 asleep
> guy at bar behind me rings giant gong and yells FAJITAS!!
>fall off stool, spill water all over

Never go back even though I bought the house and live a mile away

>> No.10816279

yeah because blacks would have eaten the tooth
cant let the weekly meal go to waste

>> No.10816294

I saw a reflection in my glass of soda out of the corner of my eye which my lizard brain interpreted as the glass falling over so I tried to catch it and ended up backhanding it halfway across the restaurant

>> No.10816307

Fake and gay

>> No.10816330

Holy shit, please be true.

>> No.10816343

I'm a 35 year old man and when my old cat died recently I went out to a bar to meet the guy who would watch her when I traveled (I still needed to pay him for the last trip I went on). I wept at the table for like 5 minutes. Not the whole time but still. It was well-lit too so everyone saw me

>> No.10816344

your gf was a dumb bitch who needs more "embarrassing" things to happen to her so she gets over it

>> No.10816352

>still having babby teeth at 12

what the fuck?

>> No.10816355

you should make it clear that you want something creative, not just "surprise me." If you say "surprise me" and you're mad when you get a jack and coke then you're stupid. You didn't know you were getting a jack and coke, so it is a surprise.

>> No.10816356

>glug glug glug
>anon what are you doing?
>"ah, post-marinating my steak"

>> No.10816368

Sat at the bar and read a book while eating rabbit stew by myself.
The barstool was too low, so I had to kind of stand up/lean forward every time I wanted to have a bite. The counter was at about chin height for me.
The rabbit stew was great but the establishment was clearly too hip for someone like me. They served beverages in mason jars, had a swing, like you'd see at a playground, in the middle of the dining area, and all the dishes had meme names. The one I had was called something along the lines of "Who Fried Roger Rabbit?" or something.

>> No.10816377

It's a faux pas, but pretty mild for a broke 21-year-old. The waiter should have handled it better and your cunt of a girlfriend should have fucking killed herself.

>> No.10816379

I got angry at an all-you-can-eat buffet when they wouldn't let me take my food in a take-out box. This was a stir-fry buffet that I have been going to regularly for many years, the staff know me, and this time I was just about to begin enjoying my second plate of food when I got a call from the office and had to leave urgently, so given my history with the restaurant I didn't think it was unreasonable to take my lunch with me.

>> No.10816380

ate alone

>> No.10816381

I ordered a drink and kept talking to a bartender because I thought I had to wait here in order to get my drink. After few minutes I realized that so I just simply run away, I think the guy realized what was going on.

>> No.10816387

Most people do wait where they order at the bar until their drink is served,

>> No.10816393
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>we got some people together and pressed criminal charges in the small claims court and the judge hit them with jail time

>> No.10816394
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>> No.10816401
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I intentionally spilled my drink and food for the attention. No idea why.

>> No.10816403

Yeah, when she's a 35 year old divorcee she'll definitely regret her youthful decisions. But that's most people, so who cares?

>> No.10816404

Sounds like a serious case of owning a vagina

>> No.10816428

I died at the gum part. The rest was unneccessary but that gum part made me throw my phone

>> No.10816431

I hope you and your parents are involved in a murder/suicide pact

>> No.10816435

Should have told them you were crying over the plight of the illegals in the kitchen. Probably got a free meal and CNN interview.

>> No.10816441

Holy shit. Please tell me this poor doggo escaped his retard owner.

>> No.10816469

former bartender here,
crying in a bar is pretty normal.

>> No.10816473

No thats autistic “hahahhaa thats what you get for being poor and not me hahaha”

>> No.10816475

Be honest. Only after 11PM.

>> No.10816479

ayy there calcium in that, bruh

>> No.10816485
File: 72 KB, 500x743, kyle and a dog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

NOT crying about a dog is autistic.
You did nothing wrong, anon

>> No.10816489

This opinion has only existed for 20 years. Before that, all humanity saw dogs as machines that would happily sleep outside in rain sleep and snow. All humanity believed this. What makes the past two decades so much more correct than the entirety of human history?

>> No.10816496

When I was 16 I went to a pizza hut and ordered a personnel pan pizza. Ate the whole thing then went home, but I got sick and barfed all over my truck. Ended up ruining the floor cover and my mom replaced it with some stupid camoflauge redneck rubber thingy. I then went back 3 years later and tried to get my money back, even presented the receipt.

>> No.10816506
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I'm 36, mate. We definitely loved our dogs 21 years ago too.
We're not all fucking Eskimos or Chinamen, you know.

>> No.10816517

I'm the same age as you. You're basically full of shit. You don't breathe oxygen. You inhale excrement and exhale something worse. You don't even live in the real world. It's kind of sad, because you ardently believe you do. A little research will reveal that you don't. You seem like the type of person who is way too scared to do that research.

>> No.10816525

Yeah, ok.
I thought it would be fun to play along with your obvious trolling but you're just not doing a good job of it, man. No subtlety.

>> No.10816528
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>> No.10816546

And you don't know your own history. Sad.

People have only been confused about the role of canines recently, in post industrial times broken up by two world wars. Mostly they have helped with agriculture (animal herding, and hunting prior to that.

>> No.10816588

Me and a friend were like 8, we were having a sleepover and their parents took us out to dinner. Some seafood place. You always hear about people ordering lobster and I wanted to be cool so I asked if we could get one. Somehow we were both set on getting lobster and the dad let us each get one for whatever reason. Then we spent the whole night poking toothpicks at it's brain. Didn't make me cringe until years later when I realized what I'd done and their parents are probably poor and only did it for us to be happy.

>> No.10816598

That checks out.
Was this in the 90's-00'S

>> No.10816607

I'm not even particularly poor and if I were a parent I wouldn't take them to a seafood place with their friend. They made their choice, let them live with it.

I think I'd be a great parent though because I make sensible financial decisions. Please tell all your female friends.

>> No.10816618
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>> No.10816624

How many times have you had sex with another person? Zero, per chance?

>> No.10816625

I pulled a stupid face trying to photobomb the table opposite our table. Nobody on my own table knew what i was doing and I think they thought I was having a mild stroke.

>> No.10816640
File: 1.42 MB, 205x172, AppropriateAmountOfChuckle.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>have a stronger emotional relationship with dogs than they do with normal humans. Their distinguishing feature is sharing more genes with dogs than most humans do.

>> No.10816642

>please tell all your female friends

Anyway, certainly providing is great. But family can also be rich without gold. I hope one day you get your family though.

>> No.10816646

Jack London died in 1916, anon.
Do you really want to double down on "nobody care about dogs until 20 years ago"?

>> No.10816652
File: 72 KB, 800x800, 1519539349040.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I sued the shit out of that family responsible for killing my dog. Turned out that me crying at the restauraunt trickled down to the judge in our case and worked in my favor. The family had to foreclose their house, lost their business, and are no longer allowed in the neighborhood.

Significant doubt as to the veracity of this story. Also fuck you, your friends, and your dog.

>> No.10816657

I've read this before.

>> No.10816669

We have evidence that some 15'000 years ago nomadic tribes in Europe cared for their dogs and even were buried together with them. Anyone who tells you loving dogs is a thing of recent times is fucking dumb

>> No.10816674

white & based

>> No.10816816

That's strange. Are you sure? I can totally see another kid trying to be cool this way but if you read this before it wasn't from me.

>> No.10816893

>Being this autistic
>Acknowledging your autism in a dining autism thread
Pick one, story is extremely false and homosexual.

>> No.10816913

>About 13 years old
>Wear a metal retainer
>Sit down to eat, wrap retainer in a paper napkin
>Forget about it while eating, as we get in the car remember I left it on the table
>Run back, table is already cleared and trash taken out
>Parents make me climb into the dumpster to get the retainer (shit was like 300 bucks)
>Walk of shame through restaurant smelling like garbage, but learned an important lesson that day

>> No.10816976

how deep in LARP territory are you now? fegit

>> No.10817024

doing gods work.

>> No.10817029

I'd at least have given you the option of blowing the dentist.

>> No.10817038

I'm glad youre not my son lol

>> No.10817079

I'd say that in your case, the restaurant is autistic.

>> No.10817742

Kek anon this is relatable, underrated.

>> No.10817776

When i was like 7 i was scared of plushies that made noise, and McDonald's was giving furbies with their happy meals. I didn't know what furbies where, so i just looked at the poster and thought "Cool, i'm gonna get the owl" because i always liked birds, but then i saw that they sang and i started to run around in circles yelling "WHAT I'M GONNA DO, WHAT I'M GONNA DO, WHAT I'M GONNA DO" multiple times.
Also there was this time i was like 8 or 9 and i went to a coastal city with my aunt, my cousins, and my uncle, and we went to a seafood restaurant for dinner. Then the waitress gave me and my cousins pizza dough and i tried to eat it, but she came and said with a smile "That's not for eating, that's for playing with".
Those were the only two times i did something autistic in a restaurant, never did anything again.

>> No.10817818

No you're worse.

>> No.10817825

It's pretty terrible. It's also weird replacing them with another one.

>> No.10817840

I love that you know the only people who would ask for details are people with no experience suffering.

>> No.10817841

This is a good story

>> No.10817842

you were 7 dude. there are grown ass people who throw fits lol you're fine

>> No.10817847


>> No.10817885
File: 475 KB, 1198x1231, britain autistic police.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10817893

>Also there was this time i was like 8 or 9 and i went to a coastal city with my aunt, my cousins, and my uncle, and we went to a seafood restaurant for dinner. Then the waitress gave me and my cousins pizza dough and i tried to eat it, but she came and said with a smile "That's not for eating, that's for playing with".
That's pretty ridiculous all around, Anon

>> No.10817896

please explain to me why it's a problem to ask the price of something you're paying for

>> No.10817917

It's considered rude. If you were broke as fuck then why on earth were you going to a fancy restaurant?

>> No.10817937

Earlier in the thread this would've gotten hella (You)s, gotta hop on that shit quick dude

>> No.10817949

Don't feel bad, one time I intentionally tripped and broke my arm for the attention

>> No.10817953

>That coffee you ordered is going to be $2000 (plus tip)

>> No.10817968

It's unfortunately true. I still believe that she spit in my food but I used to have severe anger issues until I started therapy 6 years ago. I still believe that cunt was completely in the wrong, but I didn't make anything better with my behavior. It has taken years of introspection to come to terms with my rage problems and fight my inner demons. That incident was what finally got me the help I needed.

>> No.10817986

Are you really so socially inept you think they might be charging you that much?

>> No.10817995
File: 30 KB, 268x265, 1F58C74E-346E-4522-83F5-5A2C19228061.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>it’s fucking real

>> No.10818002

not him but Black Ivory coffee costs $85 for a single serving, not even at a restaurant. It's really stupid to get mad at people for not wanting to order something when they don't have any clue how much it costs.

>> No.10818115

This happened a couple days ago

>Be me
>In California on road trip
>Get hungry, see popeyes
>Never had it, always wanted to try it
>Also want to try a po' boy
>I order it and the lady asks for my ID
>I give it to her and say "ha, must be a good po' boy"
>She gives a nervous laugh
>"w-what do you mean"
>"You know, like, the ID?
>"Oh ok"

The sandwich wasn't even that good, it was practically a long mcchicken

>> No.10818139

Popeye's always takes my ID if I pay with a credit card.

>> No.10818140

Did you write this in a restaurant by any chance?

>> No.10818148

>it was practically a long mcchicken
Oh my God, they make it with Human?

>> No.10818261

Your first mistake was getting pizza in Rome. If it's not a Margherita pizza from Naples, it's not a real pizza.
t. Leaf

>> No.10818274
File: 84 KB, 257x257, vAWkfcy~01.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be me
>whenever I go to Chipotle I'm always autistic
>order bowl with half white half brown, extra white rice
>two tortillas on the side
>beans, Pico and lettuce
>extra chicken, extra hot sauce, extra cheese
>ask for a second bowl for later use
>ask for water cup, put sprite in it
>place tortilla in separate bowl so it makes a dip in the middle
>fill with half of the food, roll it up, eat it, repeat with second tortilla
>every time I go to Chipotle it's the same exact thing
>at least I get a fuckload of more food for the same price as 1 burrito

>> No.10818291

This post isn't worth reading.

>> No.10818301


>> No.10818315
File: 936 KB, 2160x1791, HD GLOM.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I used to frequent restaurants with a few comic books in my bag which i would then read while i waited my meal and while eating.

I dont see how it's that autistic though, i mean you dont scoff at people reading the newspaper or browsing through their kikebook-feed so why should a grown man reading some good Donald Duck comic-book be any different?

>> No.10818325

It's not autistic unless by comic books you mean Lightbringer or Sonichu or hentai doujins.

>> No.10818327

I guess that's okay in Britain, they don't even give them guns ffs lol

>> No.10818332
File: 345 KB, 702x1000, gold rush1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If I see someone reading a DD coming book I'll take the time to inform him that I acknowledge him as a patrician.

>> No.10818341

>sharing more genes with dogs than most humans do
Why are autists universally garbage beings when dogs are almost always great?

>> No.10818354

>California requiring state issued ID when you buy fucking fast food
Communism at work folks

>> No.10818372

What did he mean by this? Margherita is objectively the patrician choice. And I don't mean 'objectively' in the way that anons exaggerate to try to defend their shitty opinions. Pizza Margherita is literally, objectively, and most importantly, historically, the choice of Italian patricians.

>> No.10818379


>> No.10818380

Went to a nice restaurant with GF. As the waiter was bringing water I remarked to my GF that something was "gay", as in "So I have a big tax bill this year. that's pretty gay". Basically just used the word to signifiy my displeasure in something.
Waiter present the menu, he's a flaming homo. He was outright rude to me the whole night.
I didn't even know what I had done until we left and I was like, man, that waiter hated me for some reason and GF explained why. I didn't even realize I had said that.
Oh well, fucking homos. Probably spit in my food I'm sure.

>> No.10818384


>> No.10818389
File: 507 KB, 1536x2048, Kuva0033.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Man Rosa & Barks the best, i actually got every single DD comic Rosa made in physical books and a decent portion of Barks best's too.
I usually just had these smaller pocket books with me with mostly Italian stories that are usually just okay/5.

I also have a habit of taking a picture of every meal i eat in restaurants though not because i want to put it on my Kikebook-feed but because that way i'l remember better if the restaurant&food in question was any good.
In pic related where you can even see a DD-comic it was meh especially for a lil' bit fancier chain-restaurant with an image of supposedly serving decent burgers so yeah, never been there again and never will as long as i see this pic every so often to remind me tha it's.. shit.

>> No.10818391

Fags can't take bantz

>> No.10818394

lmfao based

>> No.10818397

When you only eat shitty greasy pizzas with mystery meat toppings and the cheese isn't even cheese but some sort of weird product of random vegetable oils&fats and chemical shit you'd obviously have such a shit taste to not enjoy a proper Italian pizza.

>> No.10818400

>Hillary detected

>> No.10818403

I do this and I'm not even poor or anything. Sometimes I'll grab a plate off a table that just left while I'm waiting for my food. When you work a hard phydical labor job sometimes you just don't give a fuck where food comes from.

>> No.10818405

>5th largest economy compared to all other countries worldwide
Hmmm, sounds gut, thanks /pol/tard!

>> No.10818409

I do this all the time, I never leave home with a bottle or two of Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot sauce in my purse.

>> No.10818412
File: 90 KB, 576x768, 1529882742817.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I've only ever (twice) tried to help my waitress out by grabbing something from them. First time was when I tried to take my plate from the waitress who was younger than I am (22), and the second time, same year, I tried taking the menus from the waitress before I sat down at my table.

Just so you guys are aware, they fucking hate that shit. Not too many people are used to acts of kindness and gestures like that so just try to let them maintain their power. I apologized for the first time of course, but the second time the girl (different girl and different place of course) was tatted up to the sun tan city and back and was hot as hell so I didn't care what she thought.

>> No.10818414

dang autocorrect on my iPhone >_<

>> No.10818430

If you know you are autistic, why do you still refer women as "roasties"
t.foreigner who just hates the fucking term because it hardly makes sense to me, there are far better derogatory terms

>> No.10818440

Do they hate it when people stack their plates&utensils too thinking it'l help the waiters?

I've seen some people stack them in a way, sometimes with the fucking glasses in them too that if i were a waiter i'd just be fucking pissed off.

>> No.10818446

Oh that reminds me. I was at a restaurant in Boulder CO and some yuppy roastie alone with her son was eating. Plaxe was pretty empty. Her son, about 5, starts choking on some food, like totally blocking his throat. She panics immediately and screams at me across the restaurant to call 911. I responded, calmly
>No, you.

She's screaming and uselessly running around him. Then he coughs and spits out the chuck of food and was fine.

I wasn't trying to he edgy I just know the kid would be dead or braindamaged before help came. I was debating whether I should help or just leave (due to possible liability). I can do the Heimlich or an emergency tracheotomy but lady probably would have sued me if I broke a rib or something.

>> No.10818455
File: 47 KB, 564x699, a56457022ad7bd8f60efbd423bb5b708.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be maybe 19, poor, working class guy
>weekend, girlfriend wants to visit her friend at work
>all our friends are poor too
>it's hot as fuck outside, so i decide to go with shorts and a T-Shirt (I even removed the sleeves for extra cooling)
>still sweating
>figure out she's a waitress while driving there
>finally arrive with my shitty car with no aircondition
>oh shit, it's the finest address around
>girlfriend and her friend don't care about my looks, not even mentioning it.
>meet the owners, they are cool about it too
>they tell me food is free today because it's her birthday
>have lunch there while looking ragged and people around me are literally dressed like picture
>they stare me down every now and then

>> No.10818456

>second largest economy in the world
wow great point you made there bro! communist countries don't have economies, in fact communism means being against any sort of transactions at all!

>> No.10818461

You did this when you were 22? Jesus dude, had you never eaten out in the first 21 years of your life? Yes, they fucking hate that shit.
On paper, sure it seems like a kind gesture to relieve them of a chore, but to put it in perspective, when I was 5 I thought it was a kind gesture to release the parking brake in the car while my mom was getting in. I knew she was gonna do it anyway, so I'd save her the trouble. Just about broke her hip.
Sometimes rituals and orders of operation serve a purpose, anon

>> No.10818464

unironically based. don't ever let these fucks make you feel shame.

>> No.10818478

A roastie by any other name is still a roastie.

>> No.10818484

What's wrong with "whore", "bitch" or "skank"?

>> No.10818489

none of this is autistic, if anything you hit the jackpot with friends like that and a dope free lunch, props anon
>(I even removed the sleeves for extra cooling)
kek amazing

>> No.10818497
File: 74 KB, 900x599, sliced-roast-beef.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm not defending the other guy, but the term "roastie" does make sense. Vaginas kind of look like sliced roast beef, pic related.

Sure, some vaginas don't resemble this at all, but enough of them do. Anyway it's a derogatory word so it's not meant to describe the best looking vaginas, but rather the worst ones.

>> No.10818498

Roasties use those terms to insult each other, but you'll never hear a roastie use the term roastie, you roastie.

>> No.10818539
File: 141 KB, 1600x900, Groundhog_Day_122.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Choking is just you panicking, you can get over it by swallowing harder, no homo, or just drinking something. You need to assess whether the food is lodged beyond coughing distance in your throat or not.

>> No.10818629
File: 19 KB, 366x380, 1514401621351.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10818662

t. Expert on choking and swallowing

>> No.10818693

I only take them in emergencies, probably three or four per month.

>> No.10818709

this is getting worse than the young boomer meme

if only someone would combine these two abominations

>> No.10818741

Oops I meant better*
Damn autocorrect

>> No.10818746

I don't get it.

>> No.10818749

>getting worse
'Vark posting has been the worst thing on this board for the past year.

>> No.10818756

And it's all thanks to crybabies like you.

>> No.10818820

>I feed like a fatass piece of shit
that is true

>> No.10818851

that's just because it's a word invented by 4chan. imo if the term went mainstream then girls would definitely start making fun of each other's ugly pussies (if they don't do this already)

>> No.10818858
File: 359 KB, 664x696, BaggyFlannel.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10818860

>responding to 1 post out of a thousand shitposts makes me a crybaby
Okay anon.

>> No.10818861
File: 148 KB, 222x293, 1514169051171.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What constitutes an "emergency"?
Hot sauce threads have been around for much longer than that, let me tell you something. And I prefer the classics. But when 10 vegan threads knock off three day old threads, I don't smile.

>> No.10818889

>1 April 2018

>> No.10818927

I live here and the person you're referring to is right. You're fucking delusional

>> No.10818933

When a situation or circumstance causes so much distraction that I can't focus on anything but that. Example:
>at convention
>required to wear name badge
>badge weighs down my shirt
>can't focus on what I need to be doing
>can't focus on anything but this stupid uncomfortable badge
>pop xanny canny
>cease to be distracted when it kicks in

>> No.10818937

Bitching about it certainly does.

>> No.10818945

I was at a restaurant in [asian country], didn't really know much [language] so I just ordered a random soup. After the waiter took the order I started looking up the words to improve my vocab, turned out the soup was full of peanuts, which I'm allergic to.

I really hate making changes or substitutions so I just put down double the cost of the soup on the table and walked out.

>> No.10818970

so don't wear it on your shirt

>> No.10818978
File: 37 KB, 538x538, 1529881316478.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Have you tried cannabis yet?

>> No.10819036

The idea is that whores get beef curtains due to pussy wear and tear. But at the end of the day it's just fun to make women even more insecure about their bodies than they already are. Because that is their sole value. A chick who works at Chic Fil A can be just as hot as a chick with a PHD. Their sexual market value doesn't change other than steadily declining past age 22. They are suddenly socially valuable around age 13 and continue to be so until they get ugly or old so anything that detracts from their beauty or self worth fucking IRKS them to no end. And pussy shaming is the funniest one because it insults the value of their biggest asset and they are already insecure if they do have beef curtains.

>> No.10819047

>implying severely autistic neets could make the connections to obtain it

>> No.10819051

epic chipotle hax anon

>> No.10819052

Had to be visible for security since I was a presenter.
Not really a fan of weed.

>> No.10819055

you're a garbage being

>> No.10819059

It's too bad chipotle sucks

>> No.10819060

when I was 12 I called an obese adult fat

>> No.10819062

this is why everyone hates bostonfags

>> No.10819065

god I hate dog people

dog people and sports fans, biggest redflags for being a 100iq brainlet

>> No.10819082

>being jealous of the attention pets get so much that you hate them
Reevaluate your life autist

>> No.10819083

>When you have to make up a word to describe normal people
This is about the point where you want to abandon ship on any given cause célèbre.

>> No.10819088
File: 2.77 MB, 480x270, 45678uhgfdrew3445rtyuijhgfdertyuikngfr567890okjgfr5678uijkhgfrde4567yui;'.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw an autistic guy lived on my floor at uni
>tfw we almost went out for drinks
>tfw he's a mathematical genius
>tfw I asked if he would try weed
>tfw he says yes
>tfw I could have gotten the autistic guy high
>tfw I saigned him up for Tindr and he can't tell the difference between fake accounts
he got matches

>> No.10819096

My gf has a dog because she's a codependent person who can't be alone. Dogs are emotionally codependent pets for the emotionally codependent person. And they're fucking annoying.

I like them outside where they belong but I also like regular pussy.

>> No.10819102

Nice LARP neetfag

>> No.10819110

Yeah right. The fucking thing gets into the trash all the time and fucking watches me eat. The only enjoyable thing about a dog is running with it. Other than that they fucking smell, they shit constantly, they fucking bark at nothing, they annoy guests, and they get fur everywhere. I hate touching it because it STINKS. You can wash it one day and the next day it already stinks again.

>> No.10819121

Pretending can be fun sometimes, but it is not healthy to do so all the time, autist.

>> No.10819130

Dogfags can't even defend their shitty pets.

I already explained why you like it. It's because you're weak and you need a validation machine when you come home from work every day. Dogfags are pathetic.

>> No.10819141

It's pretty sad to be jealous of the attention that dogs get, but to make up a fantasy about having a gf with a dog to justify your autistic crusade is even sadder.

>> No.10819153

What is sad to me is that you find the idea of having a girlfriend so unbelievable. Maybe you do need your dog to help with that crushing lonliness. Sorry man. It must be really hard being stupid AND ugly.

>> No.10819176

I went too far. I'm unironically sorry.

>> No.10819179

I find the idea of you having a gf laughable because you're a bitter autistic NEET and no one with a girlfriend would feel the need to validate it to strangers on 4chan. I actually do have a gf and unlike you and your fantasy gf we actually share interests and we both have dogs that get the love and affection your parents never give you because you never left their house after 18.

>> No.10819192

Not him but by your own description I struggle to believe you have ever made eye contact with a girl let alone dated one lol

>> No.10819196

Check out the tits on that one

>> No.10819206

Nah, I just like inflamitory arguements. I already beat you since you had no counterpoint besides yelling the autism buzzword. But that's because you are dumb ;^)

Here I'll help you out.

Yeah, dogs smell and get into the trash. But they love you unconditionally and make life better because they're always so excited. They remind you to take joy in the little things, like food, or a good walk. And when you are sad they just seem to know, they walk up and just chill woth you. It's worth putting up with the annoying things they do for what they give you. And you come to love their little quirks and annoyances over time because it's what makes them unique.

You're welcome, stupid.

>> No.10819210

you need to keep your bitter autistic ramblings to a minimum otherwise you just seem angry

>> No.10819222

>But they love you unconditionally
That's a bad thing. It's meaningless because it's a given. Real devotion is earned, not given unconditionally.

>>It's worth putting up with the annoying things they do for what they give you.
That's entirely subjective. People can enjoy the outdoors or "sit back and smell the roses" without being slobbered on by an animal that just ate cat feces. Though if you feel the tradeoff is in your favor who am I to argue.

>>And you come to love their little quirks and annoyances over time because it's what makes them unique.
I could say the same about my office chair.

>> No.10819224

Yawn, use your words retard

>> No.10819230

I know, that's why *for me* I don't like dogs.

I can just see what codependent people get out of them. They're great for people who can't stand to be alone because they see themselves in the dog.

>> No.10819232

I don't care enough to argue with a lonely autistic NEET willing to write a thesis about why dogs trigger him.

>> No.10819238

No, you just aren't smart enough ;)

>> No.10819243

You like to argue on 4chan because this is the only social interaction you get. Pathetic kek

>> No.10819257
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>> No.10819270

It really isn’t autistic just to verify prices.

>> No.10819287

Unfortunately not. It would be nice to not have to interact with people though. Rather, it's the annonimity that makes it fun.

>> No.10819292

This makes so much sense

>> No.10819303
File: 37 KB, 586x578, 1509086395445.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

t. Brainlet

>> No.10819313

English isn't my first language ;^)

>> No.10819337

>a food animal
God you meat eaters are psychos

>> No.10819350

Oh you're a third worlder, no wonder you hate dogs.

>> No.10819353

chickens are retard slave race of asian pheasants

>> No.10819366

Burger pls, our standard of living is rated higher than yours. And our children don't get shot while studying 12 year old math in high school.

>> No.10819370


>> No.10819398

Itt you just win. YOU WIN. You win.
I've always seen those jobs below me, even while at uni I got a better job than waiting tables. Fuck that cunt for being a cunt. Maybe she was on the rag? Still no excuse for bad service and spitting in your food.

>> No.10819415

Whenever I was a kid I'd bow like some chinaman whenever the server would bring my drinks/food out.

>> No.10819417
File: 242 KB, 449x557, [HorribleSubs] Houseki no Kuni - 10 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_04.21_[2018.06.16_22.23.20].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>take grindr date to Chinatown
>says he wants me to show him around
>take him to a Chinese dimsum restaurant
>warn him to keep his mouth shut and let me order for the both of us
>he agrees and we enter
>big mistake
>I approach an empty table while he just stands there, waiting for someone to seat him
>everyone is looking at him weird, just some white dude standing at the front looking around
>motion quickly for him to come before one of the waiters calls the local Triad members to seat him on the curb outside
>we take our seats
>the waiter only talks to me in mandarin, all smiles
>I get 3-way duck, some dimsum dishes and a tub of rice
>waiter goes "marvelous choices sir!" in mandarin
>suddenly date goes "Did you get the hotpot anon? I love hotpot!"
>tried to stop him but not before the waiter heard
>he shoots him a disgusted look
>I quickly apologize and say that we'll just have what I've already ordered
>he smiles at me and leaves
>a few minutes later the 3-way duck comes
>see date devouring ONLY the duck skins
>tell him that he needs to make wraps with spring onions and sauce
>he makes a sloppy dripping one and tries to feed me it
>got duck sauce all over my beet red face from the embarrassment
>waiters and customers all stop dead in their tracks to stare at us
>"Hee hee you're so cute!"
>tell him to make his own wraps
>he pouts
>a fucking grown 20 year old man
>later the dimsum dishes arrive
>date points at the beef tendons with his chopsticks all the way across the table
>"Oh god what's that? It looks so gross haha"
>physically facepalm
>half way through the dimsum I feel something poking my face
>he's got a shrimp spring roll in his mouth right next to me, making "mmm" sounds and moaning
>trying for some Lady and the Tramp shit
>the entire restaurant is whispering and pointing at us
>I ignore him and quickly finish our meal
>pretended to go to the washroom and paid for the both of us
>"Omg I had a great time anon"
Not a bad lay though.

>> No.10819436

Cute. My chinese bf takes me to chinatown too. Real chinese food is amazing

>> No.10819439


Stopped right there. Get the fuck out my thread, you bug chasing faggot.

>> No.10819462

I liked their tuna salad so I asked for them to bring me a glass of it. They actually did.

>> No.10819484
File: 35 KB, 396x385, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This thread is gold.

>> No.10819569


>freshman in college
>cafeteria is closed on game day
>go to McDonald's before going out to bum drinks from middle-aged tailgaters and their MILF wives
>place is packed just like every restaurant near campus
>decide on a double quarter pounder in line
>"I'll have a number seven"
>get my cup, grab a drink and wait up front
>this McDonald's just lets the expo guy call out whatever the order is
>random fatass grabs his food
>dang so close
>guy that was in front of me gets his food
>no one shows up
>two girls that came in after me pick it up
>where the fuck is this guy
>some asshole has now walked in and gotten his food while I'm still standing here
>what the fuck
>expo guy realizes I'm still standing there
>"number seven"
>he rolls his eyes, waves his hand at the bag with the Big N' Tasty
>I look at the menu board
>I look at my receipt
>god damn it
>I have to leave the restaurant in shame
>take cold burger and fries back to my dorm room to eat alone
>was neither big nor tasty

>> No.10819576

>go to McDonald's drive theouh
>order a drink and a hamburger
>drive into paint lot
>get a burger with no cheese
>drive back
>ask drive through attendant why they didn't put cheese
>dumb nigger brain comes up with excuse
>"Sir u axed fur a hamburg, not a cheesburg, I didndu nuffin wrong"
>throw drink and burger at the chimp and speed off home
>see this thread
I wouldn't really say I'm the one being autistic, since if the dumb nogs they hire for minimum wage would do there job I'd be full rn, eating some leftover pasta instead. Fuck McDonald's and their "equality" hiring crap.

>> No.10819581

But that's the only difference between a hamburger and a cheeseburger.

>> No.10819584

Fucking mispelled shit too, I'm furious. Thinking about going back there just to dirty up the place. Pathetic.

>> No.10819593

When people say hamburger, they almost 99% of the time mean a burger with cheese, only autists and dad's in their 60s ask for a hamburger and expect no cheese.
If you want a cheeseburger you say "no cheese"

>> No.10819605

here's your (You) - thank you for contributing to /ck/ today! :)

>> No.10819607

>If you want a cheeseburger you say "no cheese"
You want to try that one again, chief?

>> No.10819608

>If you want a cheeseburger you say "no cheese"
I hear you man. God I hate black people for not knowing that

>> No.10819691

Why did you censor your own post?
This is potentially the most autistic thing in the whole thread.

>> No.10819992

Oui, chef

>> No.10820016

Fuck off homo

>> No.10820021

>that 27 year old boomer who eats sriracha instead of vark

>> No.10820024

Well, point of fact hamburgers don't have cheese on them.

>> No.10820026

>I'll have a cheeseburger, hold the cheese

this better work you fucker

>> No.10820030
File: 44 KB, 257x351, 1359298467917.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>If you want a cheeseburger you say "no cheese"

>> No.10820047
File: 35 KB, 626x717, 1514366872442.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Went to Ghenghis Grill baked with friends and when the waitress asked us if we needed anything, me being so focused on my food I replied, "gimmie water". I didn't realize how bad that sounded until my friends said the waitress looked at me in shock and said "Okay :| "

>> No.10820070
File: 97 KB, 720x644, 1529852238401.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10820235

Go inside the bathroom with friend. I had to piss and he had to shit, so obviously I went to the urinal whilst he went to the toilet. Both are enclosed, so no one can see either of us, and I cant see him. Anyways, get done pissing, flush, and begin hearing groans from muh bud. Ask him, "are you ok in there?", to which he replies, "yea, just gotta get this shit outta muh asshole", (my friend is a fucking autist) I chuckle and walk out of the urinal stall to see some employee staring at the mirror. When I step out he quickly begins to wash his hands. I wash mine and ask him how his day was going, and he replies, "were you in the stall talking to yourself?" And also restates me and muh buds conversation. when I tell him that my friend is in the other stall, he stares at me like in bullshitting him. I stupidly had this thing back in the day where I would wink, and give two thumbs up....of which I did to him. He says surrreee and walks out.

>> No.10820242

>that 29 year old boomer that likes 'vark

>> No.10820244 [DELETED] 
File: 36 KB, 367x450, 81g3+wplzbL._SY450_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Brought a big bottle of Inglehoffer Brand German Style Mustard (it's too good to have a meal without) to a restaurant and slathered it on everything.

>> No.10820251
File: 82 KB, 218x246, [HorribleSubs] Houseki no Kuni - 01 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_12.57_[2018.06.15_22.32.55].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why can't you white people behave yourselves?

>> No.10820273

No MagDongles stories pls. This is a classy board for classy posters

>> No.10820308

Sorry, not american
Why do they need to check customers' ID?

>> No.10820330
File: 49 KB, 716x539, Ice Cream 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Was it like this scene from the wedding Singer

>> No.10820401
File: 359 KB, 1920x1080, 1513937629665.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The local chinky is always filled with people that order stuff like spring rolls, they are always in their middle thirties and taking selfies with their food.

>> No.10820573

>Probably spit in my food I'm sure.

He probably cummed in your food

>> No.10820632

do you mean boor?

>> No.10820648

Former waiter here. If the plates are stacked well (without utensils in the middle to fuck with the structural integrity) it's actually really appreciated. It speeds things up for staff and shows consideration. Why are you so angry

>> No.10820659

big if true

>> No.10820681

he's afraid that in a country of millions of people that we'd be able to ID him from that story

>> No.10820712

Nah, with a good enough lawyer you can melt someone's finances with a civil suit.

>> No.10820737


Yeah - what the fuck? It's a sandwich.

>> No.10820810

No it isn't.

>> No.10820837

kek i like this one
>with friends
fuck you nvm

>> No.10820867

Nigger, don't compare your experience as a 5 year old in a car to my experience of trying to be helpful to some roasties in a restaurant.

>> No.10820870

If you weren't gay you wouldn't have as many bad experiences.

>> No.10820921


This >>10816652

Nice LARP nigga. You probably left your shitty dog outside without supervision and some hicks put a slug between it's feral eye sockets. Killing stray dogs and cats is worth it's gold in saving the environment.

>> No.10821537

>Americans eat xanax like fucking mints

>> No.10821762

Some places can scam the fuck out of you with 'artisan' drinks and food items. You can't just assume all prices are going to be reasonable. The whole "If you have to ask it means you cant afford it" is a retarded mentality that in reality not even rich people support. You dont get wealthy by being wasteful and not knowing how much you spend. That part comes later.

>> No.10821776

Whats wrong with liking rules and uniform?

>> No.10821782

China is communist only in name now. In practice they're full blown capitalism with a dash of communist leadership that barely even act like it.

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