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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 61 KB, 1280x640, Gordon-Ramsay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10912368 No.10912368 [Reply] [Original]

">Right, anon; to see where your skill level is at I'll have you cook a dish for me, Yeah?

what do you make him?

>> No.10912396

>>10912368
I'd tell that closeted faggot to get the fuck out of my house

>> No.10912410

A hot dog

>> No.10912414

Take a dump on a plate an sprinkle some glitter ant tell him to eat my faggot shit

>> No.10912430

>>10912368
Arroz con pollo

>> No.10912503
File: 78 KB, 307x204, 1520658282239.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10912503

>>10912368
I can make kraft dinner and hotdogs

>> No.10912534

>>10912368
Id force him to several atms and then break his smug face.

>> No.10912548

Scallops with Blood sausage and hollandaise.

>> No.10912558

>>10912548
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8yVAxkmYPE

>> No.10912963

>>10912368
I hate his guts but if he wants me to cook for him so I shall. I'll make ribs.

>> No.10912979

>>10912368
Cyanide soup.

>> No.10912989

peanut butter, marshmallow, chocolate sauce panini with toasted bread

>> No.10912999

>>10912558
>fuckin mingin

>> No.10913020

>>10912558
I thought he was Scottish? He should be able to stomach worse than that.

>> No.10913037

Cereal

>> No.10913049

>>10912999
W I T N E S S E D

>> No.10913057

>>10912368
Beans and weenies. I'm not making an effort for this arrogant fuck.

>> No.10913069

burger

>> No.10913086

There would be no point even trying. He seems to expect that everyone should be cooking to his own master standards.

>> No.10913553

>>10913020
He said the scallops were off. Which means that they were well past the sell by date and Gordon would probably have gotten hospitalized if he didn't vomit it back out.

>> No.10913641

>cook delicious vegan thai curry
>he immeditaley discards it because he's a stupid cARNIE
>i immediately discard his opinion because he's a stupid cARNIE

>> No.10913646

>>10913086
they should

>> No.10913652

I'd do a 360 and slam my ham fist into his ugly mug, is what I'd do. He's a certifiable faggot and would crumple when challenged.

>> No.10913659

>>10912999
>WITNESSED

>> No.10913680

>>10913553
I know what he said. My statement stands.

>> No.10913703

>>10912368
A pack of cigs, a philly cheesesteak, and a vanilla shake.

>> No.10914049

>>10912368
I'd take a fat shit on his head

>> No.10914062

Spaghetti with puttanesca sauce

>> No.10914129

Boiled hotdog with toothpaste

>> No.10914145

I would make a roast, but when it inevitably goes south, ill rush down to the hungry jacks near my place and buy a few whoppers, disguising the burgers as my own cooking, when he asks about the roast he thought we were having, i'll have to awkwardly weasel my way out of the situation, who knows what will ensue.

>> No.10914153

>>10914145
Delightfully devilish, Anon!

>> No.10914161

>>10914145
Hungries feed and seed formerly chucks

>> No.10914162

>>10912368
A fat fuckin' fist in the puss would set him right.

>> No.10914169

>>10914161
B & R

>> No.10914192

Ill serve him cooked kraft macaroni noodles, with the cheese packet on the side so he can mix it himself and hear that sweet pussy sound

>> No.10914195

>ITT: Rejected cooks from his restaurants and shows, edgy underages emulating said rejects, and otherwise jealous faggots

>> No.10914197

>>10912368
spicy beans, rice, salsa and a fried egg

>> No.10914213

I'd get on my knees and suck his fat juicy cock begging for his guidance and so should all of you talentless donkeys.

>> No.10914215

>>10912368
I make him get the fuck out of my house.

>> No.10914219

>>10914213
You do not seem the type that needs guidance to suck a cock... just permission.

>> No.10914222

>>10912368
Make mpw's wild pigeon and lentils. Then tell at him for eating it wrong and make him cry

>> No.10914264

jellied eel

>> No.10914271

>>10912368
car milk

>> No.10914274

>>10912414
did you just call yourself a faggot?

>> No.10914275

tomato soup?

>> No.10914276

>>10914271
based car milk poster

>> No.10914280

my chili. strong chili flavor, cocoa powder too. i would love to see if he liked it.

>> No.10914281
File: 40 KB, 640x1138, khGNvhI_d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10914281

>>10914195
Shut up, Gordon.

>> No.10914337
File: 6 KB, 253x199, 1531292909568.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10914337

>>10912368
>Finally, some good fucking food

>> No.10915745

>>10912368
Tendies; medium rare

>> No.10915766

>>10913641
He's done plenty of vegetarian shit you dolt.

>> No.10915824

>>10912558
>cutting little circles out of a normal size black pudding to waste half of it
I cannot fucking stand this poncey shit.

>> No.10916530

Some vegan avocado quesadilla with some 'vark for good measure

>> No.10917094

A really good stock, packed with a ton of flavor and clear as tinted glass.

>> No.10917175

>>10916530
all these vark posts make me so pissed

>> No.10917237
File: 56 KB, 306x654, ramsay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10917237

>>10912396
>>10912414
>>10912534
>>10913652
>>10914049
>>10914162
What happens when he beats the fuck out of you

>> No.10917245

>>10917237
Knock him across the room with a dick slap to the face.

>> No.10917261

Pineapple pizza

>> No.10917297

>>10912368
beans on toast

>> No.10917512

I would pop down to his nearest restaurant and buy something off the menu and bring it back to him pretending to have cooked it and laugh while he rips it to shreds as being unimaginative shit, poorly cooked and overpriced

>> No.10917517

and then I punch him in the face

>> No.10917521

>>10912368
THE most beautiful scrambled egg

>> No.10917526

And then I fuck his scootis haggis

>> No.10917708

>>10912368
Maybe smoked salmon pasta.
Fast to make and sounds a tad fancy and tasty as fuck.
If he wants me to make the pasta I'm basically tucked. That's my skill level.

>> No.10917909

I have a few meals I could probably get his approval on.
I do some pretty dope pork chops (also relatively safe) , as crude as it sounds. I'd do them with some twice baked potatoes and this sauteed veggie blend I do.
All in all it always turns out great and the chops are tender and savory.
If he does not like them than he can go eat somewhere else.

>> No.10917954

make him suck my dick

>> No.10918398
File: 19 KB, 300x256, meat puppet.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10918398

>>10912368
An omelette. I can make the same one Crouton Rumpcyst keeps throwing onto every screen he touches. It's dumb, but I think he'd have a chuckle at it.

>> No.10918428
File: 1.89 MB, 200x200, 1528666830751.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10918428

>using a quotation mark with a greentext arrow (and failing to greentext) when greentext already denotes a quote
>not finishing the quote anyways

>> No.10918451

>>10912368
I'd shoot him with my Glock 23. Don't get me wrong, I'm the bigest fan of Chef Ramsay. But to be the person to end his life, to see the last seconds of life escape his eyes and as such also play a major role in his life would be an opportunity I couldn't let slip through my grasp.

>> No.10918457
File: 1.68 MB, 600x600, 1531753527472.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10918457

Pork and beans I make a really badass one and it's pure Americana country cooking. He will probably hate it desu but fuck it mine beans are fantastic. Plus if his daughter is there I can masturbate to the thought of the hard gas my beans will give her later.

>> No.10918517

Porotos con rienda

>> No.10918532

Sopa de macaco

>> No.10919211
File: 85 KB, 728x1007, 47c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10919211

>>10918532
Uma delicia.

>> No.10919298

>>10914161
Crimge

>> No.10919305

My turkey meatballs of course
Made the recipe myself except I keep forgetting it and my mom is the only one who remembers it because I rarely make it
I swear I should fucking write it down

>> No.10919317

Salmon coulibiac with anchovie cream sauce

>> No.10919625

>>10918451
jesus christ anon, that's dark

>> No.10919712

>>10912368
>Pan, hot.
>And just.....DRIZZLE
>olive oil

>> No.10919822

>>10913049
You know "trips" are a pretty common occurrence?

>> No.10919836

>>10912963
>>>10912368 (OP)
>I hate his guts but if he wants me to cook for him so I shall. I'll make ribs.
This. His understanding of american food is so off.

>> No.10919844

>>10917237
put on my best mpw impression and tell him to suck it

>> No.10919849

>>10913703
I really want this now...

>> No.10920695

I boiled some eggs. What I did was just put the eggs in a small pot, fill it to the brim with water, put the stove as high as it goes, leave for 15 minutes, and come back to find my house has burned down.

>> No.10920701

>>10912368
Chicken livers. Fried or cooked with butter and onions. If it’s the former he can supply his own dip

>> No.10920709

>>10912368
I dunno, some salmon with some basic spices on it

that's pretty much the most complex thing i can make.

>> No.10920751

Egg

>> No.10920760

>>10920751
Imagine his reaction to you just setting an egg in front of him, like just an uncracked, uncooked egg.

>> No.10920784

3 scrambled egg dishes
English style
American style
french omelette style

Nothing impressive, but it's all I can cook to absolute perfection, and he's always going on about his eggs.

>> No.10921013

>>10919836
>Chinese stir fry dish
>uses olive oil
He deserved a slap across the face for that one.

>> No.10921219

>>10917237
Is that Dolph Lundgren?

>> No.10921228

>>10920760
Deconstructed omelette
wa la

>> No.10921289

>>10918457
>Plus if his daughter is there I can masturbate to the thought of the hard gas my beans will give her later.

based

>> No.10921317

>>10918428
go home summerfag

>> No.10921391

>>10920784

That's apparently the first thing he asks potential cooks in this restaurants to make is simple egg dishes. It's how he evaluates to see if they can do something that's relatively simple but do it to perfection. So the ol' Ramsay boy would prolly love you.

>> No.10921437

>>10913652
If you do a 360, you are walking away you fucking retard.
American math skills at its finest. :/

>> No.10921525

>>10921437
Being this new

>> No.10921544
File: 6 KB, 183x275, e1aa67534d84fca6ce3ccfacbe7af016.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921544

How you doin' folks?
So my wife says I should start eating "healthier" right? I should start "counting calories" to lose weight, yeah? Yeah? So I decided to humor her and count calories. Let me tell ya, by lunch I was up to 6,000 and I STILL haven't lost any weight!! I mean, COME ON

>> No.10921926

>>10921544
Pfhahhahahahhahahahhahah Oh man you crack me up hahahahahahahahah pffffffhhhhhhhhahahahhahahahahhahahah

>> No.10922180

>>10912368
Peanut butter and strychnine sandwich.

>> No.10922321

>>10912368
Spaghetti with tomatoes, since it showed it didn't even know how to cook pasta

>> No.10922327

>>10922321
*he showed

>> No.10922422
File: 544 KB, 995x1200, 54695090_p1_master1200.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10922422

>>10912503
>kraft dinner
Found the canadian.

>> No.10923332
File: 67 KB, 540x534, IGotThisPepeFrom4ChanOrg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10923332

>walk out with a cart of ingredients and keep the straightest face I can so he doesn't know its a prank
>slap some fucking disgusting dried out ocean weeds on cutting board
>cover it in sticky rice
>put some leftover raw fish in it
>put some cucumber in that bitch
>put some cream cheese in it
>roll it into a big shit log
>slice it into inconveniently sized portions and insist he eat them whole
>serve it with some brackish indian pond water that I put a bunch of salt in
>shit out some horse raddish paste on the plate
>garnish with some cold, soggy, flacid ginger root

Guys this is gonna be such a good prank

>> No.10923354

>>10923332
haha, love this

>> No.10923535

>>10917094
I got a recipe for you senpai.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cppOojKBNko&feature=youtu.be

>> No.10923625

>>10921437
good bait anon

>> No.10923633

>>10923332
great prank dude. Make sure to charge him a lot too

>> No.10924429

>>10912368
Shrimp chowder with potatoes and corn

>> No.10925556

>>10919625
Almost as dark as you're mom's bf

>> No.10925671

>>10912368
Beef wellington with scallops seasoned with smoked paprika powder

>> No.10925846
File: 1.48 MB, 2619x1599, 1531692154781.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10925846

Reheated precooked spaghetti with jarred alfredo sauce, topped with the powdered parmesan """cheese""" that comes in plastic tubes.

>> No.10927141

>>10914274
kek

>> No.10927748

>>10912368
I'll make Sauerbraten
See you next week

>> No.10928553

>>10912368
Very simple omelette with cheddar and chives. Cooked perfectly. It's also quick and I don't want to waste his time.

>> No.10928608

Steamed hams

>> No.10928613

>>10928553
Gay

>> No.10928768

A grilled cheese sandwich

>> No.10928842

>>10921525
>Being this new
Being this new

>> No.10929253

>>10912368

Beef Rigatoni with marinara and a shit ton of green and white onion. It's legit the only thing I know how to make from scratch.