Help

[Anonymous No.11021094]

i have a date coming over in an hour. We are having dinner and then I made a dessert. I heard that chocolate covered strawberries are one of the most romantic foods and girls will basically drop their panties 15 min after eating them.
So i made these bad boys, the chocolate chips was like way too thick so i put a little water in it to loosen it up then dunked these strawbs in em.
They may not look the best, but she'll understand i tried and still throw me some poon, right anon? They taste bomb ass

[Anonymous No.11021099]

>>11021094
>putting water in chocolate
lol

[Anonymous No.11021105]

>>11021094
Bruh look at this dude

[Anonymous No.11021106]

>>11021094
The erotic part is dipping them with her and then feeding them to each other. You already fucked up.

I hope you have more and can do this process WITH HER. Otherwise it's over before it began.

[Anonymous No.11021108]

>>11021094
just tell her the truth that they melted together in the heat while you were cooking
also don't put water in chocolate, use milk anon
always works better for me

but as long as the main course food is good and you have extra chocolate to melt to dip those in i'm sure it'll be a good time

[Anonymous No.11021114]

>>11021094
if she isnt a bitch she'll likely find the attempt cute
clean the plate up tho anon

[Anonymous No.11021116]

This is what you should've prepared.

[Anonymous No.11021118]

>>11021106
what if i put it in the microwave and melt the chocolate off

[OP No.11021119]

I made these for my dog gf cause I can’t afford to put her down but could afford chocolate chips

[Anonymous No.11021124]

If she likes you, she'll find your failure cute.
If she doesn't, she'll find it cute in a pathetic way.

[Anonymous No.11021126]

>>11021094
don't even serve that, it's embarrassing

[Anonymous No.11021131]

>>11021094
>putting water in chocolate
Chie, please.

[Anonymous No.11021132]

>>11021094
It's actually kind of impressive just how much it looks like you dunked these in shit. Like you couldn't manage it if you tried to do it intentionally.

[Anonymous No.11021140]

>>11021118
might as well kill yourself before trying something as pathetic as that mate

[Anonymous No.11021161]

>>11021126
>>11021132
come on guys theres no way its this bad. she'll find my attempt charming at the least
>>11021124
this is what im saying.
she cant cook either so she wont know these arent the best. plus i can say i didnt even use a recipe on them.

[Anonymous No.11021166]

>>11021094
Congrats. You shocked the chocolate. It's inedible.

[Anonymous No.11021168]

Just put them into blender and make a cup of strawberry chocolate juice

[Anonymous No.11021175]

>>11021161
No those look like pooberries.

[Anonymous No.11021180]

>>11021168

do this, and get some pound cake

drizzle that shit on at presentation time
have fun

[Anonymous No.11021280]

>>11021161
she's probably used to ones bought from a chocolatier and you server her this shit?
man you're in for a world of hurt

[Anonymous No.11021292]

>>11021280
she's almost here, i mentioned that i made a dessert and she said "oooh wow, its so impressive you can cook" so i honeslty think its gonna be ok. shes impressed that i even tried to cook. youre overreacting.

[Anonymous No.11021312]

presentation is an extremely important part of cooking, I hope you have a good plan. I know plenty of dumb people who don't care about it though, so maybe you'll get lucky. still, such an ugly dessert doesn't reflect well on you.

honestly I'm having trouble expressing the contempt I feel towards you for your blasé treatment of chocolate.

[Anonymous No.11021323]

>>11021094
chocolate covered strawberries are awful. the flavors don't go together and neither do the textures. it makes both things worse.

don't attempt to serve that to a girl.

[Anonymous No.11021329]

>>11021094
>one of the most romantic foods and girls will basically drop their panties 15 min after eating them.
Believing this is kind of sad.
What happened to zoomers?

[Anonymous No.11021331]

>>11021292
she said "you can cook" not "you tried to cook"
your cognitive dissonance is kickking in thinking people find fucking up like this endearing

[Anonymous No.11021333]

>>11021161
Or she'll see you are FAR to ready to accept a failed attempt and still try to pass it off.

Women want a man who succeeds, not one who fails and doesn't try again.

[Anonymous No.11021340]

>>11021323
maybe you can do a cute thing and say you should go out and buy more chocolate and strawberries...
turn it into a good time in the kitchen anon and getting her involved

[Anonymous No.11021348]

>>11021292
>i mentioned that i made a dessert and she said "oooh wow, its so impressive you can cook"
She probably imagined something like this at the least.

You can salvage it by doing what these anon are saying >>11021168 >>11021180, cut a pair of your leftover strawberrys and use it as topper

[Anonymous No.11021352]

>>11021348
Her imagination is something like this I mean

[Anonymous No.11021367]

>>11021352
Technically, pic related would have been easier to not fuck up.
>Lol, the irony.

[Anonymous No.11021375]

>>11021094

[Anonymous No.11021387]

>>11021367
OP's mistake is believing this lame thing about "MAGIC ROMANTIC FOOD PANTY DROP IN 15 MINUTES" rather than aim to make something tasty that both of them can enjoy.

[Anonymous No.11021430]

>>11021387
I know. >>11021329
He's still a young dude obviously.
Took me a while to figure women out too, so I can't be too hard on him.
>Though I never made this kind of mistake as far as I remember.

[Anonymous No.11021451]

>>11021387
>>11021430
>>11021094

OP, listen to these people. As far as girls go, you need to be charming and fun. Being able to cook helps a lot, but a bowl of eggs autist that can't hold a conversation will get no poon serving the strawberries in pic related. You seem not too autistic, just be yourself and you'll be fine.

Personally, I'd only serve fucked up looking strawberries like that if I had over 3 dates with the girl/with girlfriend. But that's just me.

[Anonymous No.11021453]

update dinner went fine. shes enjoying everything. in bathroom now, gonna break out the berries soon. i got this.

[Anonymous No.11021463]

>>11021453
best of luck, op
i believe in you

[Anonymous No.11021473]

>>11021453
Make a self depreciating joke about how bad they look, but taste good. She'll appreciate the effort

Good luck OP, you'll be good

[Anonymous No.11021477]

>>11021453
Oh Shit! He's going for it!
>Supplies energy to your spirit bomb.

[Anonymous No.11021507]

Thread hijack until OP returns.
Names for your bedroom when you wanna make a girl laugh and be disarmed.
>My Workbench

[Anonymous No.11021511]

>>11021507
>The Ball Pit

[Anonymous No.11021514]

>>11021094
It looks like you wiped your ass with these

[Anonymous No.11021515]

why do my poptarts come out piping hot with only 25 seconds in the microwave

[Anonymous No.11021516]

>>11021511
>The Fuck Dungeon

[Anonymous No.11021517]

>>11021507
>my bedroom

[Anonymous No.11021522]

>>11021517
Well you're clearly Mormon.

>The Intensive Care Unit.
>for that kind of girl.

[Anonymous No.11021527]

>>11021522
my bedroom is a joke anon
its depressed
you can go everywhere else thats clean
just not my room

pls OP don't be like me

[Anonymous No.11021531]

>>11021527
I, too, am you.
But I'm moving out at the end of the month. Gonna throw out 80% of my shit and replace it all after a few weeks at the new job.
Just gonna sleep on a cot for a month or so probably.

Currently just a futon mattress on the floor like a real piece of shit. But that has its appeals to the right woman.

[Anonymous No.11021535]

>Thunderdome

[Anonymous No.11021624]

>>11021094
lol have fun jacking off tonight sweetie

[Anonymous No.11021645]

>>11021094
Well how'd it go

[Anonymous No.11021694]

OP is in handcuffs on his way to the cooler by now.
RIP OP.

[Anonymous No.11021790]

>>11021323
I agree. I think people think it's romantic because of the symbolism in forcing themselves to enjoy a poor match, which is what most people are doing in their relationships.

[Anonymous No.11021808]

>>11021790
it really depends on the chocolate however, if it hardens correctly into a shell it is a good texture combination when the berry is crisp

if the chocolate is soft it's gonna make it a bad experience if the strawberry is firm and vice versa

if its freshly dipped in chocolate/still running it's
gonna be like a sauce

the richness of the chocolate and the sweetness/bitterness of the berry is also a key component too

having shit chocolate strawberries is gonna give you a bad time

having good ones is gonna make you crave more

[Anonymous No.11021827]

>>11021790
Oooh, biting social critique anon.
>but he's not wrong.

[Anonymous No.11021995]

>>11021161
You don't need to be a chef to know when something looks bad anon, they look like chunky shit-berries my man. Anyone who has seen any type of chocolate knows that it should be smooth and have a nice sheen, yours look like you put melted chocolate in your mouth and spat it out onto the strawberries.

[Anonymous No.11022004]

>>11021094
you are such a dumbass.

[Anonymous No.11022021]

I'm gonna leave this thread open when I go out because I'm DESPERATE to see what happened

[Anonymous No.11022138]

>>11021451
>>11021430
>>11021387
>>11021094
she's willing to come over to a private home instead of a public venue. OP's job was already 95% done, all he needs is to not drop the spaghetti.

[Anonymous No.11022146]

>>11022021
Make a bookmark, anon.

[Anonymous No.11022181]

>>11021094
And this is why 9 out of 10 incels are STEM.

[Anonymous No.11022242]

Update. I tried to give her the strawberries but she laughed at me so I kicked her off the couch. She tried to run but u dragged her down and pinned my knees on her shoulders. I punched her face and temples until she passed out then put the strawberries in her mouth and anus I then ate them from her anus then her mouth. She will wake up soon and I will nurture her back to health and make her my wife.

[Anonymous No.11022246]

>>11022242
LOL you should just murder her because women are shit LMAO

[Anonymous No.11022248]

>>11021106
I enjoy them much more when the chocolate has hardened in the freezer for a bit.

[Anonymous No.11022251]

>>11022246
No way. That could get me in big trouble

[Anonymous No.11022257]

>>11021094
Melted chocolate is actually very dry. Water hydrates the solids in it and then it gets stiff. Next time use a metal bowl over a small pan of water. It should get plenty runny doing that.

[Anonymous No.11022259]

>>11022257
Daily reminder that Claire doesn't know how to do this, despite claiming to be a pastry chef.

[Anonymous No.11022272]

>>11021094
Bruh this dude made melted chocolate chip soup then added water. The stupidity is astonishing

[Anonymous No.11022279]

>>11021516
>The Chamber of Tears

[Anonymous No.11022284]

>>11022259
I don't know who Claire is. Does she do that tedious intermittent microwave thing?

[Anonymous No.11024047]

>>11022242
Check out this edgelord.

[Anonymous No.11024075]

>>11021094
>i have a date coming over in an hour.

Have you tried the "Bill Cosby" dinner menu?

[Anonymous No.11024081]

>>11021453
Post pictures of her reacting

[Anonymous No.11024104]

>>11024075

Not to stereotype or anything, but holy shit, did Cosby even rape ANY black women or were they all white?

[Anonymous No.11024122]

>>11024075
>when you haven't yet unlocked all the chicks you raped

[Anonymous No.11024127]

>>11022279
>The Temple of Doom
Am I doing this right?

[Anonymous No.11024131]

>>11021108
>also don't put water in chocolate, use milk anon
>>11021099
>>putting water in chocolate
>lol
>>11021131
>>putting water in chocolate
>Chie, please.
The point isn't whether or not you put water in the chocolate. I make chocolate fondue for a living and we melt our chocolate with water, and dip our strawberries in it and they harden beautifully and look professional and clean.
The point is that he had HOT chocolate and added COLD water, THAT was the problem. You can add hot water to chocolate to help it melt with no problems, I do it 4 days a week. Dumb posturing can't-cook faggots.

[Anonymous No.11024133]

>>11024122

oh, god. lol

[Anonymous No.11024198]

>>11024075

Oooff. Pretty sure Cosby had to slip himself a few roofies for some of those hags.

[Anonymous No.11024328]

B

[Anonymous No.11024368]

>>11021340
This.

OP, admit your failure, and turn this around into a home run. Going on a date to this great Korean place in an hour so I'll be rooting for you if you're rooting for me. I believe in you.

And if it doesn't work out, pic related.

[Anonymous No.11024557]

>>11024075

I count, maybe, 3 attractive women in there. Old Cosby's eyesight must have been going.

[Anonymous No.11025218]

>>11021119
This post is too sad Stop It

[Anonymous No.11025239]

>>11021507
>my fap dungeon

[Anonymous No.11025358]

>>11021094
the most offensive part is that they seem to be resting on a crumpled up kitchen towel, curious about the thought process on that one

[Anonymous No.11025372]

>>11024557
>aging doesn't exist

[Anonymous No.11025421]

>>11025372
one of them is literally the first super model lol

[Anonymous No.11025467]

>>11021119
your dog gf is going to take one look at those and laugh at you and not give you any dog pussy and then die slowly in pain because you can't even fucking make chocolate covered strawberries good enough for a dog

[Anonymous No.11025534]

>>11021531
>Currently just a futon mattress on the floor like a real piece of shit.
>But that has its appeals to the right woman.
Homeless?

[Anonymous No.11025552]

>>11025534
crack addicts

[Anonymous No.11025855]

>>11022248

That's how I like my women

[Anonymous No.11025859]

>>11024131
larper detected

[Anonymous No.11025922]

>>11021119
Chocolate doesn't kill dogs just makes the uncontrollably shit everywhere

[Anonymous No.11026021]

>>11021094
>>11021094
OP we need to know how the date went
the suspense is killing me

[Anonymous No.11026035]

>>11021507
>comfy place

[Anonymous No.11026046]

>>11022259
Just had to mention her didn't you still what you say is truth

[Anonymous No.11026051]

>>11024104
He didn't take any women anon he was set up

[Anonymous No.11026116]

>>11021094
>water
These bad bois gotta be bone dry. Just melt the chocolate without putting anything in it. Butter at the most.

[Anonymous No.11026126]

>>11025534
i'm this anon
>>11021527
and its a thing of depression
literally my kitchen, living room, bathroom, all look like they are owned by a germaphobe

my room though is my depression room and i never have motivation to clean it
i have an actual bed though, sure other anon
>>11021531
is just in a transitional phase since hes getting a new job, most of the time futon frames fucking break if you decide to land your ass too hard on a weak weld

i do know some girls who do similar things though cause it fits their

>>11024368
best of luck buddy

[Anonymous No.11026178]

>>11021094
You done goofed. Your chocolate strawberries look more like you had violent diarrhea in a bowl and shot strawberries at it like freethrows

[Anonymous No.11026188]

>>11021118
lol

[Anonymous No.11026295]

>>11021507
>masturbatorium

[Anonymous No.11026478]

>>11021094
>I heard that chocolate covered strawberries are one of the most romantic foods and girls will basically drop their panties 15 min after eating them.

Then the agonized screams of that abortion of a desert should tell you:
> YOU WON'T GET LAID TONIGHT! YOU WON'T GET LAID TONIGHT!

[Anonymous No.11026840]

>>11026178
Underrated comment right here folks.

[Anonymous No.11026857]

>>11021094
>get bowl of chips
>microwave it at low power for 2 minutes
>stir
>repeat until its liquid, but body temperature or lower
>dip them shits
>let them sit for 10 minutes

t. work at chocolatier

[Anonymous No.11027015]

>>11021507
>my wankstation

[Anonymous No.11027028]

>>11021094
>>11021099
Time to bust out a classic.

[Anonymous No.11027064]

I’m sure it’ll be fine, turn it into something to laugh about as she will probably be able to relate to and still appreciate the attempt. A lot of times it is the thought that counts. My go to dessert with a date is usually microwaveable mug brownie Sundaes...but that is usually for more of a comfy couch-movie under the blanket date night.

[Anonymous No.11027125]

>>11021507
the crack shack

[Anonymous No.11027169]

>>11021507
Hotel Incel

[Anonymous No.11027228]

>>11025534
I used to live like that too

[Anonymous No.11027247]

>>11021119
grapes anon.
grapes kill doggos better than the ATF

[Anonymous No.11027251]

Double boiler, buy chocolate specifically made to melt. There you go, you just solved the dilemma.

[Anonymous No.11027301]

>>11027228
people like you should be euthanized

[Anonymous No.11027311]

>>11027301
Why? That's a pretty clean looking room. Much cleaner than my living environment.

[Anonymous No.11027323]

>>11027311
you too, bum

[Anonymous No.11027349]

>>11027228
reminds me of my kitchen
>empty liquor bottles and 2Ls of coke all over

[Anonymous No.11027354]

>>11021116
Who rips the leafs off and leaves the stem like that?
It looks like shit that way as well.

[Anonymous No.11027368]

>>11027323
I am the future. You are the past. Sorry, but it's just true.

[Anonymous No.11027370]

>>11027368
ill stab you you filthy cunt you

[Anonymous No.11027377]

>>11027301
That was 1 year ago

[Anonymous No.11027389]

>>11027370
This post establishes you as an ancient Brit living in the past or a modern Australian reveling in new age decadence. Either way, KYS.

[Anonymous No.11027906]

>>11027064
>for more of a comfy couch-movie under the blanket date night.

best nights, good taste, anon

[Anonymous No.11028005]

>>11027228
Ew. I said just a futon. Not a futon and 10lbs of garbage.

[Anonymous No.11028018]

>>11027377
>That was 1 year ago
So by now you've walled off that room and the hip deep pile of garbage, yeah?

[Anonymous No.11028024]

>>11024198
He was doing most of that shit in the eighties man, they probably looked fine 30+ years ago.

[Anonymous No.11028069]

>>11025534

I once fingered my Ex (Who had a new BF) on an unsheeted mattress laying on an unfinished floor.

Looking back at it I think I was just enjoying the guilt I knew she was going to feel about it later.

[Anonymous No.11028090]

>Making meals with the inedible or at least severely undesirable green leafs still attached

Put them on a stick or something just don't leave that shit on. There's nothing more annoying with food than having to remove a little piece of every bit or try to hold it and eat all the way to the leafs.

[Anonymous No.11028393]

>>11024131
this is confirmed by real life chocolate workers

[Anonymous No.11028405]

OP here with another update. "She" had a penis and the worst part is I sucked it. I sucked a womans penis and I've never been more ashamed of myself in my entire life

[Anonymous No.11028533]

Good. Now kys, faggot.

[Anonymous No.11028850]

>>11028405
If only this were true.

OP, report.

[Anonymous No.11029803]

>>11021094
Lmao. Just show her she’ll probably laugh as long as you play it off

[Anonymous No.11030154]

>>11021507
I honestly call it my office.

[Anonymous No.11031052]

What happened OP

[Anonymous No.11031098]

>>11031052
there was no date, he made this thread and fake bad food to shitpost

[Anonymous No.11031599]

They look terrible anon, itll turn her off for sure.

[Anonymous No.11031774]

>>11031052

He's still fucking

[Anonymous No.11031799]

Op you are lying fuck and should be publically lynched for being such a faggot.

[Anonymous No.11031814]

>>11031098
>And the other shoe drops.
Shit.

[/ck/'s Official Cinnabon Spons(...) No.11031848]

>>11021094
Fucking lel!

Run out and get some cinnamon rolls OP. Hopefully she'll give you a handy, but at this point you're guaranteed to still gonna be a virgin tomorrow

[Anonymous No.11032398]

>>11024131
You don't mix the water WITH the chocolate, you melt the chocolate over a waterbath, you larping faggot.

[Anonymous No.11032401]

>>11021161
I might eat these if my boyfriend made them.

But he's literally autistic. So.

[Anonymous No.11032408]

>>11031799

[Anonymous No.11032447]

>>11021507
I once made a girl uncomfortable by pointing at my bedroom and telling her thats where i try them out to see if i fit.

It was a clear cut case of autism because i meant my new socks i had just bought but that i hadent told her about. She thought i was being nasty

[Anonymous No.11032470]

>>11021094
They look very much like my hemrhoids...

[Anonymous No.11034150]

>>11031799
The post is a vintage ck copy pasta retard

[Anonymous No.11034814]

>>11027228
comfy af

I'm the same but replace the futon with a blanket folded in half desu

[Anonymous No.11034847]

>>11032447
Hah. Nice job.
>now if you were quick about it, you could have brought up that you meant socks, and she would realize she was the one thinking dirty....

[Anonymous No.11034863]

>>11021094
If a guy made me chocolate covered strawberries I would leave him. Absolutely disgusting.

[Anonymous No.11035102]

>>11025855
>I like my women hard
fag

[Anonymous No.11035760]

>>11035102
>hating on petrification fetish

[Anonymous No.11035769]

>>11021094
Lmfao @ your attempt

[Anonymous No.11035939]

>>11021094
>Chocolate chips
>Putting water in chocolate
You use melts or baking chocolate to make a coating if you want them precovered, but it's better to make fondue as long as you don't tryhard like a dipshit.

[Anonymous No.11036239]

I never had a female other than my mom inside my apartment.

[Anonymous No.11036246]

>>11036239
I've never been inside another female than my mom.

[Anonymous No.11036250]

>>11021094
>may not look the best, but she'll understand i tried and still throw me some poon
Good luck. If she's a land whale then yes. If she's a 10/10, she'll laugh. It's almost like the BBC epidemic that is hitting every county in the USA.

[Anonymous No.11036355]

>>11025534
women don't care what they fuck on
they are animals