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/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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11061920 No.11061920 [Reply] [Original]

I think I found something that will trigger >90% of /ck/.

>> No.11061930

Not sure I get it.
Is it because a down's syndrome guy is making it?

>> No.11061937

>>11061920

>90%
>not <90%

Retarded, but still triggered, good job son.

>> No.11061939

such attention to detail

>> No.11061946

>>11061920
That was pretentious, but max comfy.

>> No.11061968

>>11061920
Gross, long fingernails do not belong in the kitchen.

>> No.11061978
File: 137 KB, 553x783, Autism-signs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11061978

Sorry, I've visited the site before. I'm immune to your autism anon, nice try though. Here's looking at (You) kid.

>> No.11061988

>>11061968
Better than visible tattoos which he also has.
I never understood the chefs with tattoos meme, why would I take a guy seriously if they have tattoos?

>> No.11062025

>>11061988
why wouldnt you
why would you care

>> No.11062030

>>11061988
yeah I hate when tattoo ink gets in my food

>> No.11062032

>>11062025
tats = slimebags
no exceptions ever

>> No.11062042

>>11062032
kek some guy with a tattoo fucked your gf eh?

>> No.11062047

>>11062042
Couldn't say, he was black.

>> No.11062049

>>11062025
>>11062030
The ink might not get into the food, but their diseased AIDs ridden blood they contracted from a dirty heroin needle or from taking it up the bum might.

>>11061988
>>11062032
This

>> No.11062051

>>11062032
I too enjoy finding arbitrary reasons to look down on others.

>> No.11062060
File: 560 KB, 801x620, 1526758386699.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062060

>>11062042
>>11062047

>> No.11062061

>>11062049
so no real reason, gotcha

>> No.11062070
File: 84 KB, 488x516, 3e3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062070

>>11062061
He feel for the straightedge meme.

>> No.11062075

>>11062070
*fell

>> No.11062083

>>11062025
Its like someone gluing a big black dildo in their forehead and asking "why shouldn't you take him seriously, he's just expressing his uniqueness".
Act normal if you want the respect normally acting people get by default.

>> No.11062089

>>11062051
>I too enjoy finding arbitrary reasons to look down on others.

Welcome to veganism.

>> No.11062099

>>11062083
I don't have a tatoo and I don't plan on getting one, but I think you're just looking for a reason to judge people anon

>> No.11062104

>>11062083
That's quite the false equivalency anon.

>> No.11062106

>>11062099
stereotypes exist for a reason, dig?

>> No.11062115

>>11062025
These faggots don't actually care, nor do they do anything but slink around with their shoulders slumped avoiding eye contact all day at their shitty wagecuck jobs. Then they get on 4chan and talk about muh degenerates and muh conservative values to vent their frustration that some people actually enjoy life

>> No.11062118

>>11062099
Don't stop yourself from getting a tattoo just to please me, it's fine.
Either way I'll skip videos with tattooed people, gay people with noticeable lisp, women and black people.

>> No.11062123

>>11062083
Who hurt you, Anon?

>> No.11062128

>>11062106
sure. they're about 75% WRONG, but there is a kernal of truth to them that applies somewhat to some people.

There's a stereotype for people like you too.

>> No.11062133

>>11062118
>Don't stop yourself from getting a tattoo just to please me

trust me anon, I won't

>>11062106
I guess but people in this thread (and all of 4chan for that matter) talk in absolutes only

>> No.11062146

>>11062106
4chan users are stereotyped as degenerate piece of shit basement dwelling weebs. So I guess through your own logic you're just as bad as the tattooed people you hate so much.

>> No.11062153

>>11062099
I understand why you would be so kind, clean skin = good people.

>> No.11062163

>>11062153
I'm very freckled :(

>> No.11062164

>>11062153
kek

>> No.11062172

>>11062099
>>11062153
Look up Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD). People with AvPD constantly make up arbitrary criteria (usually on vaguely moral grounds) to reject people as a way to justify their avoidance of social contact.

>> No.11062185

>>11062146
I don't hate anyone.
I only choose who to do business with based on scientific evidence.

>> No.11062186

>>11062163
That's a genetic tattoo, one problem at a time man.

>> No.11062406

>>11061920
why would they trigger me? Im not one of those retards who spouts the word pretentious at everything like this
Nah, it's interesting to watch thanks for posting

>> No.11062524

>>11062406
Pretentious is definitely an overused term. Though I think that sometimes people who do this style of plating sort of over design it sometimes.

>> No.11062552

>>11062083
>Act normal
tattoos are normal now, grandpa

>> No.11062578

>>11061988
Tattoos are the mark of the lower class pleb and he marks himself willingly.

>> No.11062598

1 quinelle and some flowers. Fucking pleb shit. Amateur. Anybody who disagrees is an amateur too.

>> No.11062604

Looks like a scene from Chef's Table (I love that show)

No triggering here m8

>> No.11062608

>>11062185
I hate everyone

>> No.11062626

>>11061920
>heat the spoon

>> No.11062669

>>11062608
I used to also. But it was quite literally negatively affecting my health. Now I'm just indifferent. Give it a try.

>> No.11062699

>>11061968
marco pierre white once admitted to hiding a dead antelope's colon in the stock for a pheasant gravy

>> No.11062703

>>11062699
Still better than a cook with tats

>> No.11062720

>>11062699
Good thing he has since moved onto making stock with knorr stock cubes.

>> No.11062738

>>11062060
Rest in peace :(

>> No.11062744

>>11062699
A live antelope's colon would be far more disturbing imo.

>> No.11062752

>>11062744
That's a delicacy in Mexico, racist

>> No.11062759
File: 33 KB, 600x583, Eggs with legs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062759

>>11062752
Mexico doesn't even have antelopes.
Checkmate. Bitch.

>> No.11062762

>>11062699
if it works it works

>> No.11062773

>>11062759
They still eat butts

>> No.11062785

>>11062759
they do. they staple feathers to them and hide them in hen houses, harvest the colons at night and feast on pheasant gravy after dark.

>> No.11062791

>>11062699
>hiding
why hide it?

>> No.11062810
File: 54 KB, 314x1024, tay ass.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062810

>>11062773
>implying

>> No.11062816

>>11062810
Skinny girls like that are pretty gross. They don't really have ass cheeks, so their anus is just kind of sitting there, slightly exposed, like a dog's or a monkey's.

>> No.11062820

>>11062816
better than opening up a big girls burger buns to find extra mac sauce

>> No.11062822
File: 27 KB, 480x360, blubbernaut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062822

>>11062816
>I prefer a chunky monkey blubbernaut wobbleslob porkplanet hamanomaly
hhi bb ;)

>> No.11062826

>>11062773
Delete this

>> No.11062828

>>11062822
>>11062820
Why does it have to be the two extremes, guys?

>> No.11062839

>>11062816
If she's too skinny for you, you've been spending way too much time watching BET.
Come home from the jungle, son.

>> No.11062842

>>11062828
On a site where you're either leftist faggot or an alt right /pol/fag im surprised you'd expect anything else

>> No.11062844
File: 2.75 MB, 500x280, American Culture and Cuisine.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062844

Why is precision and care supposed to be triggering?

Surely this is worse

>> No.11062852
File: 1.02 MB, 640x360, Amerifat.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062852

>>11062844
>American Culture and Cuisine.webm
lel

>> No.11062868

>>11062773
>what is a sausage

>> No.11062876

>>11062852
I find it unbelievable that that thing didn't die from organ failure if it really did eat cheesy potatoes and cheesy potatoes only for the past 25 years.

>> No.11062885
File: 2.89 MB, 1280x720, tfw you get out of prison.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062885

>>11062876
You adapt

>> No.11062891

>>11062852
to be fair brussel sprouts are disgusting no matter how you cook them

>> No.11062892
File: 62 KB, 600x450, it was staged. Everything is a lie.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062892

>>11062885

>> No.11062898

>>11062844
>eat free if you weigh 350 pounds
>tfw you weigh 300 lbs
>don't consider yourself one of these people
>but you are

i... am

>> No.11062899

>>11062891
No, they just smell gross when steamed. They did deliberately set her up for failure with that one. Any sane person would have tried to start with something like sauteed carrot.

>> No.11062903

>>11062852
This person is mentally ill.

>> No.11062904

>>11062903
Nobody likes sprouts

>> No.11062921

>>11062904
just curious, whats your weight? dont dodge the question please.

>> No.11062926
File: 361 KB, 531x611, Screenshot_2018-08-14-13-55-03-1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062926

>> No.11062927

>>11062921
Somewhere around 200, but that's because I drink like a fish

>> No.11062935

>>11062876
Dairy and potatoes are actually pretty healthy. She just ate way too much, and I'm sure she also had a ton of sugar from sodas on top of it. I doubt she was drinking water.

>>11062903
She literally is. She said that she was forced to eat something she didn't like by people who knew she didn't like it, which kind of made it sound like it was almost abusive. It made her throw up and she didn't eat anything except cheese and potatoes after that. It's not just that she's a picky eater.

>> No.11062937

>>11062904
I love sprouts. Olive oil, salt, pepper, balsamic vinger. Or just in a good chicken gravy. I don't get why so few kids like them

>> No.11062942

>>11062926
well played

>> No.11062961
File: 40 KB, 475x628, th (6).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11062961

>>11062759
>What is the pronghorn antelope?

>> No.11062968

>>11062935
>She literally is.

Hey, thanks for confirming what I said. It was meaningless until you came along.

>> No.11063036

>a thread died for this

What triggers me is how unfunny, lame and boring 4chan has become. Just STFU for a while if you don't have to say anything interesting you dumb fucks.

>> No.11063051

>>11063036
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/ironic

>> No.11063052

Actual triggers:
Jack making people question if he's mentally ill or just pretending
That one psychopath making the face after eating anything
Some boomer lady with no education showing off her traditional recipe with cutting technique so bad its wonder she has fingers left.
That one autist spamming his hiro dreams of sushi thread when everyone understands the price of the meal is a product of it meeting the demand.

>> No.11063060
File: 1.99 MB, 640x360, 1473143200414.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063060

>> No.11063065

>>11063036
relax, guy
everyone knows you're the most interesting and funny guy here

>> No.11063068

>>11062738
Wh-what?!

>> No.11063071

>>11063068
He means the guy in that picture died from cancer.

>> No.11063073

>>11063036
Anyone else adding 'a thread died for this' to their filters? By far the most cringe and unfunny way to complain

>> No.11063081

>>11063071
No he didn't! He survived!

R-right?...

>> No.11063084

>>11063060
>rich people eating off a table
and we make fun of poo in loos for eating off the ground...

>> No.11063087

>>11063081
it came back, this time inoperable. everyones just waiting now.

>> No.11063090

>>11063060
Remember, everyone. Design is a lie the sole purpose of which is to give the wealthy the illusion that their lives are not boring.

>> No.11063096
File: 221 KB, 1024x1024, 1494924014042.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063096

>>11063081
No death date on his wiki page yet, but... yeah...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stef%C3%A1n_Karl_Stef%C3%A1nsson#Personal_life

>In April 2018, Stefán announced that he personally chose to come off chemo, and proceeded to shut down all his social media accounts.

>> No.11063097

>>11063084
>rich
that woman's body would like to have a word with you. rich people don't look like that

>> No.11063102

>>11061920
If someone who posts OC to /ck/ and doesn't plate like this, their dish is torn apart ironically

>> No.11063107

>>11062816
This is some hyper advanced autism here

>> No.11063109

>>11063090
this is garbage design, it's part of the point

>> No.11063112
File: 2.56 MB, 800x450, Haute Cuisine.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063112

>>11063060

>> No.11063118

>>11063109
It doesn't matter if it's good or bad design. The only real thing setting them apart is perhaps skill. But this never justifies the much wider gap in price. Good design is never more than someone's name going viral. For every chef who is in high demand, there are scores more who are just as good but never make it big. This applies to literally everything.

>> No.11063120
File: 457 KB, 805x714, 1412366531063.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063120

>>11063087
>>11063096
Meme magic can only help so much I guess...

>> No.11063130

>>11063112
>red bull in wine glass
lol nice touch

>> No.11063191
File: 2.77 MB, 454x454, Gugspe.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063191

this kills the /ck/

>> No.11063248

>>11063191
this looks good, but holy shit cilantro
I bet that tastes like nothing else

>> No.11063256

>>11063248
Like none of the ingredients except cilantro? Cilantro is so good that I never mind this effect

>> No.11063259

>>11063256
>cilantro

Coriander anon, it's called sriracha

>> No.11063285

>>11063259
u wot?
fucking europoors

>> No.11063289
File: 2.77 MB, 360x360, Butterscotch Shot Glasses.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063289

>>11063285

>> No.11063296

>>11061920
>That will be 74$ sir.

>> No.11063305

>>11061920

I don't see the problem. Fussy plating? Simple dishes being treated like haute cuisine?

The only one that bothered me was that tiny cut of meat on a massive plate.

>> No.11063311

>>11061978
These signs of autism can be put on anyone though. Not all at once, but one or two.
Men can have strange attachments to objects, women can have poor speech, everyone has difficulty dealiwng with changes to routine etc.
What's the fucking point anymore

>> No.11063312
File: 2.69 MB, 800x450, Haute Cuisine.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063312

>>11063305
>haute cuisine

>> No.11063314

>>11062128

I'd say they're about 75% correct at least.

>> No.11063331

>>11062816

If only that were true.

>> No.11063333

>>11063311
The point is it doesn't exist and people have gotten tired of saying it.

>> No.11063349

>>11062926

Man, I thought communion wafers looked so tasty before my First Communion. What a fucking letdown.

>> No.11063367

>>11063060

The lobster shack just hasn't been the same since they tried to upscale.

>> No.11063375

>>11063191
I used to have an uncle named gugspe

>> No.11063389

>>11063349
Did you think they were giant milky buttons?

>> No.11063393

>>11063289

So basically just an irish carbomb with a homemade shotglass you won't taste at all?

>> No.11063396

>>11063393
No it's exactly that.

>> No.11063412

>>11063389

I'm American so had no idea what the fuck a milky button was until just now, but more or less, yeah.

>> No.11063420
File: 18 KB, 480x360, amandashowgirl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063420

>>11061920
i like eggs

>> No.11063428

>>11062578
t. Middle-class moralfag

>> No.11063431

>>11063412
I'm a British catholic, to convince us to participate in the various rituals of my faith the priests who weren't child molesters used chocolate as a bribe

Completing my first Confession got me a Freddo and the rare opportunity to see the girl I liked out of school uniform in the preparation classes

>> No.11063434

>>11062032

tattoos and cigarettes exist so you know who the trash is without having to talk to them

>>11062051

t. trash

>> No.11063437

>>11062578
This unironically

>> No.11063445

>>11063428
aka: the backbone of America and the silent majority.
why yes I am.

>> No.11063448

>>11063434
He stated proudly, posting on the self proclaimed asshole of the internet.

>> No.11063449
File: 2.89 MB, 480x480, Edible Cheese Spoons.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063449

>>11061920
This always triggers /ck/, frankly it's the only reason I post it

>> No.11063450

>>11062115
I'm saving my enjoyment for the day of the rope.

>> No.11063468

>>11062172

>has tattoos
>believes in psychology

you never had a chance

>> No.11063474

>>11063445
>the backbone of America sits on a Taiwanese cat wrestling forum bitching about things that don't effect him
Thank you for your service.

>> No.11063475

>>11063428
t. Unwashed pleb

>> No.11063481

>>11063474
I'm no hero but you're welcome

>> No.11063489
File: 155 KB, 500x665, 1534112264051.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063489

>>11062791
Let it spill out onto the plates

>> No.11063490

>>11063481
At least the boy's humble.

>> No.11063498

>>11063289
>caution extremely hot
What a bunch of pussies

>> No.11063499

>>11063449
>see that big bowl of cheese

Motherfucking cheese spoons. But in all cerealness, meme'd these once for a party and they were pretty bad.

>> No.11063514
File: 2.87 MB, 480x480, Edible Granola Spoons.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063514

>>11063499

>> No.11063533

>>11061920
Would have been hilarious to see him preparing this ridiculous """""meal""""" with that look of concentration and then a fist comes flying from the side of the frame and breaks his jaw. What a pretentious faggot. Wait, no, that's an insult to faggots, I'm sorry to all of you cock-gobbling men out there, sucking dicks is way more beneficial to society than what this guy does.

>> No.11063537

>>11062118
>skip videos with tattooed people, gay people with noticeable lisp, women and black people.
You might like >>>/fit/

>> No.11063563
File: 3.51 MB, 480x270, cheeseywineshots.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063563

>>11063449
Perfect for pairing with cheesy wine shots

>> No.11063591

>>11062042
>muh dick

>> No.11063598
File: 1.06 MB, 480x351, 1471658517531.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063598

>>11063563
>shots of wine
>shitty processed cheddar
ENOUGH

>> No.11063607
File: 464 KB, 654x648, 1519550679894.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11063607

>>11063563
>a shot of wine
>in a cup of cheese

I drink soccer mom wine to get hammered, not to drink it out of cups that are gonna make me too constipated to shit out my hangover diarrhea the following morning

>> No.11063608

>>11063598
>those fancy prancy europians like eating cheese with wine
>lets copy them
>who's high class now?

>> No.11063610

>>11063607
based hangover diarrhea poster

>> No.11063611

>>11063191
>put whatever you get in the fridge
>add rice
>triple sriracha meme sauce
that's just sad.

>> No.11063636

>>11063610
I like to treat myself once a week to alcohol and drink until I black out. I usually wake up with a new ban

I think last time I drunkenly shitposted I was posting nudes on /ck/

>> No.11063674

>>11063636
our nudes or someone else's?

>> No.11063820

>>11061920
triggered me. he's got this pimple on his neck that is giving me anxiety. it's so fucking ready to be popped.

>> No.11064121

>>11063674
Yes, our nudes :^)

>> No.11064147

>>11063820
you are obviously a female.

do you also pull out hairs? You fucking creatures are repulsive.

>> No.11064148
File: 196 KB, 458x310, Screen Shot 2018-08-14 at 8.15.29 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11064148

>>11063820
He was saving it to make the garnish on the last dish

>> No.11064186

>>11061937
I'm pretty sure you never passed 7th grade math if you don't understand that ">" means greater than and "<" means less than

>> No.11064214
File: 1.17 MB, 250x230, 1392155900904.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11064214

>>11063191
>shit so bland they have to add 3 cups of peanut butter

>> No.11064382

>>11063820
It's a skin tag, not a pimple.

>> No.11064391

>>11064147
t.khv

>> No.11064427

>>11064214
This, I can't imagine you can taste much else but peanut butter and cilantro.

>> No.11064468

>>11064391
yeah, I really sound like I do not know a lot about your shit side of the species. Fuck you cunt.

>> No.11064498

>>11064468
well it's kind of obvious you know nothing of that side of the species because you assumed i'm female. i'm a dude.

>> No.11064518

>>11063191
looks pretty good until they just throw meme sauce and peanut butter as seasoning.
Oh boy I can't wait to taste the many flavors of peanut butter and peanut butter

>> No.11064533

>>11064498
no you are not. not by any metric I'd trust, you little faggot.

>> No.11064543

>>11064533
do you promise to kill yourself if i prove it?

>> No.11064575

>>11061920
Looks pretty nice honestly.

>> No.11064602

>>11064518
They could have just used thai peanut sauce. It would have fit better with the dish as a whole and wouldn't have over powered everything the way all that peanut butter will. It's not like peanut sauce is something normalfags can't get ahold of either so there's really no excuse.

>> No.11064606

>>11061920
meh
haute cuisine/molecular gastronomy/pomp-and-circumstance food was not invented by hipsters. Been around for a long time.

If you like planting little flowers into a quenelle and spritzing it with a little rose water, more power to you. Just don't you fucking dare try to make my kids eat it!

>> No.11065037

>>11062904
They're fucking delicious, you man child.

>> No.11065276

I got one on my Johnson, tit says TINY! when it gets happy tit reads, Tightest truck stop In Next hole over Yonder!

>> No.11066060

>>11062926
Truly, the holiest breakfast

>> No.11066063

>>11063036
>reddit spacing
Hmm...

>> No.11066077

>>11063349
Some are. Depends which ones they buy.

>> No.11066173

>oh look at this pretentious thing that i found
>theres already three webm threads
>oh i know!
>ill create a new thread just for this
>now time to suck a big black cock

>> No.11066198

>>11061920
A meal fit for a soyboy

>> No.11066200

>>11066063
>this is my only argument

>> No.11066220

>>11063563
>lel look at me I am a modern woman and i love wine xDDDD
I need this meme to die soon

>> No.11066224

>>11064382
Why doesn't he chop it off with nail clippers?

>> No.11066247

>>11066224
It would be extremely painful

>> No.11066248

>>11061988
because chefs are BADASS and have ATTITUDE

>> No.11066249

>>11066247
4 u

>>
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