Post roommate horror stories

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Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:51:59 2018 No.11157807 [Reply] [Original]

Post roommate horror stories

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:54:10 2018 No.11157824 File: 73 KB, 640x640, blackberry mirror cake.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] My roommate is my sister. She likes to look up recipes and use my birthday as an excuse to make some wacky cake despite me not liking fruit flavored cakes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:54:29 2018 No.11157825 amazing picture, OP

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:55:44 2018 No.11157830 >>11157824 Is she cute?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:55:56 2018 No.11157831 My roommate wouldn’t let me cook meat in certain pans because his girlfriend was a vegetarian.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:56:40 2018 No.11157832 >>11157824 Is she a great big fat person?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:57:12 2018 No.11157838 >>11157824 Heh, reminds me of my girlfriend. She lives with her brother and does the exact same thing. He hates it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 21:58:58 2018 No.11157845 File: 9 KB, 225x225, 1454119659503s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >tfw no cute sister to cook me wacky cakes Just fucking kill me God fucking kill me

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:01:28 2018 No.11157863 >>11157824 The horror!

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:05:46 2018 No.11157878 Roommate used to make hamburger helper for almost every dinner, or would eat frozen burritos. Every night.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:07:20 2018 No.11157891 >>11157831 Epic

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:07:33 2018 No.11157892 >>11157878 Oh no. You poor thing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:09:57 2018 No.11157903 >>11157824 Ungrateful prick

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:11:40 2018 No.11157905

>>11157807
I once ate a meal in front of my computer while watching cooking videos on Youtube. Watching videos of food always makes me super hungry. Then I realized that I was eating my meal alone and felt a great longing to share a meal with someone. However, I will probably continue eating meals all by my lonesome for the rest of my life. To spend time to cook, to savour a tasty meal, it all seemed so futile if I was the only one eating it. The futility of cooking and eating for oneself was truly horrifying.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:11:51 2018 No.11157908 >>11157878 woah... how did you survive?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:12:51 2018 No.11157911 >>11157903 Not him, but I hate it when people do things for me because expressing gratitude is so hard. Especially when I didn't really want what they did for me. I just end up disappointing them.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:14:50 2018 No.11157920

>>11157807
I lived in a house with 5 other people next to a college. We didn't have a dishwasher and the concept of cleaning your dishes was lost on them. One time they cooked macaroni and cheese once and left the pot to sit in our sink for 3 months
I thank god daily for the chance to not live with these disgusting fucks anymore

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:17:46 2018 No.11157938 >>11157807 I had this roommate who would bitch me out about having hamburger helper or frozen burritos for every dinner, like it was any of his fucking business. It just made me more determined to have nothing else.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:21:24 2018 No.11157955

Years ago I had a roommate who would get drunk and eat all the food in the fridge. He did this almost nightly to the point I couldn't keep anything in if I wanted save it for the next day

So, I started jerking off into my leftovers. He'd come home and start drinking and then raid the fridge. He must have eaten a gallon of my sperm over the course of a year.

Good times.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:24:06 2018 No.11157967 >>11157955 >let him eat all your food >lmao he ate my cum tho! You are such a giant cuck. Food is expensive and you just let this guy eat your food without beating his ass?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:25:05 2018 No.11157970 >>11157807 Based OP picture

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:25:38 2018 No.11157972 >>11157905 wierd. I absolutely detest eating with others. unless it's immediate family (not all siblings though) or my grandparents I have to be hammered to consider it

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:25:43 2018 No.11157973 >>11157967 Sounds like he regularly beat off to his roomie's ass, at least.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:28:04 2018 No.11157983 >>11157955 I wonder, does it give you an erection thinking about it? If so, don't you think you're the weirdass fuck and not him?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:29:18 2018 No.11157985 >>11157955 In some states that counts as rape.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:34:54 2018 No.11158004 >>11157967 >>11157973 >>11157983 Lots of butthurt cum eaters itt. Doesn't surprise me one bit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:35:49 2018 No.11158011 >>11157955 You're a gay rapist in the eyes of the law.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:41:20 2018 No.11158030 >>11157878 I'm not American, but isn't hamburger helper just breadcrumbs you mix into meat mince to pad it out?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:42:31 2018 No.11158034 >>11157824 Is she about a size 14...?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:43:12 2018 No.11158037 >>11158030 i’m willing to bet you are an american and you know exactly what it is

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:44:17 2018 No.11158044 >>11157985 >>11158011 if no one accuses you you won't be tried don't want to eat jizz? keep your fingers off my butterfingers

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:46:59 2018 No.11158056

I did a ski season in a resort town and because of the housing crisis I ended up having to share 3 bedrooms between 12 people for most of a ski season.
Everyone had their quirks, main annoying shit was the three 18yo dudes never did their dishes, didn't know how to put scraps or trash in the trashcan and never cleaned up after themselves. Pretty sure they never cleaned their bedsheets the entire 6 months and ended up just sleeping on the raw mattress.
We had a vegan hippy stoner in our house too. Dude was nice enough, we'd share a smoke every now and then but he always took 5 times as long to cook anything as anyone else so if you didn't get into the kitchen before him you'd be starving at midnight waiting for him to finish stirring his quinoa that's taken him 2 hours to cook.

It was fun living that many people in a small space but eventually noise and no privacy sort of gets to you. You cant even just have a fap without just going to the bathroom and having to crank it out in under 2min because 9 people need to all have a shower before they go clubbing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:47:39 2018 No.11158059 >>11158044 >have a crush on my roommate >keep on negging him by stealing his food >hoping one day he will finally press me against a wall and show me what a baddie ive been >never happens >at least i get to eat his cum

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:48:52 2018 No.11158063 >>11158059 >negging no deal unless your pozzing, my dude

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 22:52:56 2018 No.11158087 >>11158037 No I literally don't. Only seen it once or twice in the aisle with breadcrumbs and instant macaroni & cheese and figured it was either one of those.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:01:42 2018 No.11158130

>rented upstairs of my new home to a guy i'd known a long time
>regularly had to remind him and his guests they cannot smoke in my house including his psychopath selfish mom who would forget this rule every time she came over
>wouldn't do the dishes unless there were no forks left and he'd only wash one fork or one plate
>refused to ever recycle anything, regularly found bottles and cans in my trash can, which would weigh the bag down and pull it loose inside the can
>would order pizza and leave it sitting out in the box overnight
>took all my forks/spoons hostage upstairs and i found out he was using them/leaving them inside dirty old cans of dog food, which upon finding out grossed me out to the point of throwing much of the silverware away
>couldn't ever offer a guest a refreshing glass of anything because i never had any glasses to give them because they were ALL FUCKING UPSTAIRS.
>towards the end of his residence he was almost always broke so he would regularly fire up my oven just to cook like three corn dogs, or just a plate of fries
>when he wasn't broke he was just buying fast food every day, so anything he ever put in the fridge just fucking expired
>found out he was storing dirty dishes and pizza boxes in the attic
>pets tore up the floor and shat all over it
>entire space needs to be gutted because he was that much of a slob
don't rent

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:03:37 2018 No.11158139 >>11158130 Are you still bros?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:04:10 2018 No.11158143 >>11158130 >he used the oven unforgivable, although probably his right as a renter

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:07:07 2018 No.11158157

>>11158139
no, and i don't really think we ever were. after over ten years i have to say we were kinda just there for each other because we both really needed friends.

>>11158143
the point was that firing up an oven for that little food is a really big waste of energy. you may as well cook all of them and microwave the leftovers, but he insisted they only taste good fresh from the oven.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:08:09 2018 No.11158161 >>11158157 do you really want soggy fries bro? can't speak for the c-dogs, but they need a dry heat

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:14:42 2018 No.11158182

>>11158130
You sound like a cunt. Someone's paying you HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS to live in your piece of shit hovel and you have the nerve to complain about them eating food? Literally everyone eats you retard. If it slightly inconveniences you tough, that's why they're paying ridiculous exorbitant sums of money. Even if they were staying for free you'd have no right to complain. Uptight asshole. Your neurosis is YOUR problem and NOBODY ELSE'S.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:17:40 2018 No.11158199 >>11158157 Now you sound like a real asshole and I'm glad he pozzed your upstairs. Complaining about your renter using the oven to cook his poverty food is pretty fucking low.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:19:18 2018 No.11158206 >>11157831 That means you do a shitty job of washing

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:20:26 2018 No.11158210 >>11158182 >Let people abuse your own property you selfish ass have a (you) you fuckhead

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:21:54 2018 No.11158214

>>11158210
Just to reiterate: complaining about someone using the oven to make one serving is like complaining about someone using the fucking lights. It's there to be used. A single use is absolutely insignificant and costs a fraction of a cent in energy. YOU. ARE. A CUNT.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:23:57 2018 No.11158226 >>11158199 >>11158182 not the guy, but he's obviously pissed that the guy stole all his dishes and didn't respect the dignity of his living space. Using the oven isn't an actual issue he is just looking for more reasons justify his loathing of the guy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:25:16 2018 No.11158232 >>11158226 You are the guy. Fuck you, you damn oven hoarding Jew.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:25:57 2018 No.11158242 >>11158226 >he is just looking for more reasons justify his loathing of the guy. Yes. Obviously. He's a cunt.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:26:19 2018 No.11158243

>>11158161
yeah i can feel that the oven is the best way to cook them, i get it, and it's all he had, but there are other food options that can make multiple meals with a single bake time where the microwaved leftovers taste just fine, and you don't waste as much electricity. he was just not good at shopping or patient enough to cook.

>>11158182
nah i charged a bargain price for the space. you don't have all of the details. he only paid the internet bill and rent, which still grand totaled less than the monthly rent for an apartment in this area. and the cooking small portions of food didn't really bother me, it was just silly to me.

i was extremely patient with all of the issues my roommate presented me all except with the smoking. when you've rented to someone for nearly two years, and it's the tenth time you've reminded them you don't want them smoking in your house you'd be fucking pissed too.

>>11158199
not the first time i've heard someone bring up cooking a single [shit] meal in an oven on /ck/ as being an issue. it's not the biggest thing ever but it's basically the only way he ever cooked anything in this oven.

>>11158226
nailed it. it's not a problem to use stuff. like he used to take a lot of showers because he was physically active. i pay the water bill but you haven't heard me complain yet about him just trying to be clean.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:26:43 2018 No.11158247 >>11158232 it costs more than a few cents to heat corndogs you filthy boarder! if You had the sense to save money you wouldn't have to live in squalor like the animal you are!

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:27:36 2018 No.11158250 >>11157824 What a fucking cunt dude just kick her ass next time. Jesus what a dumb stupid whore.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:28:53 2018 No.11158253 >>11158130 the only one I'm gonna give leeway on is leaving pizza out because I do the exact same thing. sounds like a dick head

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:31:03 2018 No.11158263

>>11158243
>less than the monthly rent for an apartment in this area
No shit moron, that's why he tolerated your dumb ass. Because living in a shithole with an idiot is cheaper than a proper solo apartment. That's why people get roommates, you cracked the code. That doesn't mean it isn't a fucking AMAZING deal for you the owner. He's paying you HUNDREDS and costing virtually NOTHING. It's paying YOUR rent or mortgage for no cost other than slight inconvenience.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:33:14 2018 No.11158275 >>11158263 >houses with capacity for multiple tenants costs the same as those with capacity for one ummm... anon? you are at least 18 years old right?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:35:09 2018 No.11158283 >>11158275 Buy a smaller house then kid. Stop being such a dumb cunt. I'm done with you, you're grounded.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:37:37 2018 No.11158294 >>11158283 >i-i'm not a minor... yo-you're grounded!!! I hope in 50 years by the time you can afford to retire you have learned something about finances, little dude.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:38:55 2018 No.11158298

>>11158030
It's usually basic food but with ground beef in the mix. Half of the products are just mac and cheese. Stroganoff is the only one worth a shit aside maybe lasagna, beef pasta, and cheesey enchilada. I thought they had a taco one too with corn chips.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:42:28 2018 No.11158314

>>11158263
actually he stopped paying the rent about six months before i ended it. i forgave the amount owed if he agreed to fix the damage to the walls. we're talking a thousand and some change in exchange for a little drywall work. it was a lesson about respect. making a big profit was not more important than the mental health of my friend, whom i came to find out was in a lot more deep of trouble than i could ever to personally help him with...

i have a lot more things that i'm not willing to disclose, i'm kinda already identifiable with these posts and i don't want to talk about it anymore, and i don't want to shame the guy, he's not the world's biggest asshole but i'm also not either. we were friends, and by the end of it all i knew his only option was moving back in with his psychopathic, mentally-draining to deal with family, and i felt sorry for him. but that's what had to happen, i couldn't dorm him and deal with his behaviour forever.

this is becoming less about food than i expected so i'm not going to reply anymore. good luck to you figuring out the real world, and please read the site rules and try a bit harder not to shitpost drunk anymore.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:52:35 2018 No.11158343

>>11157955
>had a very alcoholic roommate
>would piss in the kitchen sink when blackout drunk (if not the floor)
>every other day I would wake up to a soft shell burrito with wilted lettuce
>I dont think he ever ate them, just passed out and forgot about them.still miss my old roommates

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:53:54 2018 No.11158347 >>11158214 >>11158199 >>11158161 >>11158182 >>11158232 t. guy hes known for a long time

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:54:53 2018 No.11158349 >>11158214 t. has never paid a bill in his life

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 23:55:04 2018 No.11158350 >>11158283 if he had a smaller house he couldnt rent

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:24:40 2018 No.11158411

>>11157911
Yeah, because you can't appreciate that someone would put effort into something for you. Even if you didn't want what they made, you should be able to see and be greatful that they care about you enough to be spending the time thinking about you. Oh boo hoo you didn't want the cake they made you, grow up.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:29:31 2018 No.11158430

My roommate only eats macaroni and cheese. As in he cooks some macaroni and then adds some shredded cheese on top of it.
Yesterday he was telling me that he's gonna go vegan to which I asked him the last time he ate a vegetable and he actually couldn't answer me on that.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:30:11 2018 No.11158433 >tfw my room mate is a 9yo boy >still not as picky as my adult sister

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:32:03 2018 No.11158436 >>11158411 He's admitting to personal difficulties, and you're just being a dickhead. Which do you think is the more emotionally stable?

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:33:37 2018 No.11158440

>>11158433
I realize things like that shouldn't annoy me but my ex girlfriend wouldn't eat beans. Not any kind. No beans or peas.
"They are all mushy it's gross"
Dude you're in your 20s grow the fuck up and let me make some fucking black eyed peas every now and then or some green beans Jesus Christ.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:35:30 2018 No.11158447 >>11158436 Honestly, the dickhead. The other anon sounds like a lunatic. Can't accept gifts because he's a disappointment, that's pretty unstable.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:36:24 2018 No.11158451 >>11158440 My sister doesn't eat pasta, any pork besides bacon/sausage, and pretty much no ground beef, sans stuff like chili, burgers, etc. Pretty annoying desu

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:45:57 2018 No.11158486

>>11157807
My gf used to do the dishes at my friends house because thier sink would be so fucking gross theyre be using napkins as plates for shit you can barely eat off a napkin. Legit watched those freaks eat peas out of little paper towel bowls.
They didnt wanna eat out the can cuz it 'doesnt taste right'
My gf took pitty on them and did their damn dishes. They acted like she did magic.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:48:15 2018 No.11158497 >>11158486 Your girlfriend is a simple cow.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:48:15 2018 No.11158498

>roommate is german girl who says that I have to sit down to piss because the piss splashes all over the bathroom if I stand up
>she fucking listens at the door for splashing
>One time, i ignored her, and she came in and slapped my penis while i was pissing
>I pissed all over the floor and she just stormed out and refused to talk about it except to say "you know what you did wrong"
>we both left this puddle of piss on the bathroom floor for 2 days until i caved and cleaned it up
>now I just lay my penis in the sink to piss because then i get to standup like a man and it's still silent so she won't come in and abuse me
>i've tried to fuck her a few times when we're drunk, but she just starts laughing and talking quickly in German

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:53:34 2018 No.11158525 >>11158497 She does my dishes tho

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:55:20 2018 No.11158531 People who don't do dishes need to be sent to the guillotine. No excuses for that behavior.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 00:57:13 2018 No.11158535

>circa 2008
>Living with roomates, we're all in our 20s
>Get invited to move in because I have a kegerator
>Lots of half bbl kegs, at one point we're going through 1 per 5 days
>Local bevmo knows us by sight, always bringing an empty shell.

At one point we had one roomie who would pour a beer and literally leave the tap on and open..flowing.

We made him pay for a few kegs before kicking him out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:00:36 2018 No.11158555 >>11157824 >Not eating your sisters food no matter how shitty it is with a smile You are underaged

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:14:21 2018 No.11158592 >>11157911 Looks like you just gotta grow up dude. It's really not that hard just to appreciate the effort over your own selfish wants.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:21:49 2018 No.11158614

>>11157807
I still live at home because I'm poor, and my sister used to live here too. She was the type to buy shitloads of food for recipes she wanted to try, but never had the time or energy to properly cook things. So we'd be in a constant state of throwing away expired food that was molding the fuck out of our fridge while she lamented over how much money she wasted. I have the same habit so basically we're both fucked. At least our dad actively enjoys cooking.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:23:13 2018 No.11158621 >>11158614 I think I know why you're poor.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:34:06 2018 No.11158647
File: 1.40 MB, 320x240, somebody toucha my spaghet.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11158621
Bingo my dude. I seriously want to be the kind of person that can cook, enjoys cooking and has time for cooking. I am not even slightly that person so I'm just a depressed maniac that keeps buying food I don't know how to cook.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:40:29 2018 No.11158662

My roommate from two apts ago drank all of my vodka, claimed that he didn't know it was mine (we were the only two that lived in the apt and we only had one vodka bottle in the freezer) and claimed he would get me a new bottle. He never did. And then one day he bought some new liquor bottles himself. Every night, before I went to sleep, I would dump a shot or two of it down the sink.

I live alone now.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:43:06 2018 No.11158666 >>11157920 What the fuck is with 90% of people never doing fucking dishes? Half my friends are disgusting savages and I could never live with them.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:46:25 2018 No.11158681 >>11158498 >>One time, i ignored her, and she came in and slapped my penis while i was pissing I'm literally crying from laughter. Thanks anon.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:47:29 2018 No.11158684 >>11158498 Sauce?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:48:06 2018 No.11158686 >>11158681 The best part is that she said you know what you did and stormed out. That's the most German thing I've ever heard.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:48:33 2018 No.11158688 >>11158498 I want to live your life anon

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:51:31 2018 No.11158695

>>11158430
This is only hilarious as hell to me, cause my brother is like this to a tee.
It's mac n cheese, cold cut sandwiches, or peanut butter sandwiches for him.
For my dad it's hard boiled eggs/scrambled eggs on toast, plus cold cut sandwiches.
I'm the only cook/dish washer in my house and i hope both of them die of cancer or some other terminal disease soon.
>inb4
I've already tried to teach them about veggies and how to prepare them in multiple ways, but they still want a early death.
Fuck my living Olympian hell of a life.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:53:25 2018 No.11158703 >>11157824 sounds wholesome

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 01:59:37 2018 No.11158715

>>11158662
Not trying to be funny, but you are a legend.
Your roommate would have never received his karma, unless you would have poured his alcohol down the drain.
Would have been better if you drank it, but i know some people don't want to drink every night.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 02:19:52 2018 No.11158763 >>11158555 >>Not eating your sisters ass no matter how shitty it is with a smile fixed

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 02:46:49 2018 No.11158852 File: 1.14 MB, 250x250, 1532270152215.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11158498 >>11158662 I love these copypastas Enjoyable read every thread

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 02:51:49 2018 No.11158882

>>11158430
When I did a ski season I had to eat only Kraft Dinner and take vitamin supplements as it was all I could afford. The 3 months was hell being malnourished, quick to anger, """depressed""" etc all the time sucked but it was worth it for the good snow.

>>11158666
2nd best landlady I ever had found the solution to this. She used to sweep/mop/vacuum the common area of our apartment for us every day at 9 o'clock but only if we kept it relatively clean and would inspect the kitchen at the same time.
Every housemate had exactly 1 bowl, 1 plate, 1 cup, 1 set of cultery each. They were color coded for each room.
If you left any dirty dishes 3 times you were instantly evicted without getting your security deposit back.
We never had a dirty roommate last more than a week.
Same went for doing laundry. Each housemate was only allowed to do laundry once a week on a set day and time. If you did your laundry outside of your allotted day/time you'd get a strike too.

Naturally the landlady was Chinese but it was nice having a fucking clean place.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 02:53:00 2018 No.11158889 >>11158498 >get a glass of water with you in the toilet >work your way to a full mast >stand there half naked with your dick proudly jutting out >start slowly pouring the water in the toilet

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 04:33:05 2018 No.11159153

>>11157831
This is why I always brought my own pans and would keep them in my room/locker. Fuck off touching my pan, last cunt who cooked with my stuff left gnocchi in it and it sealed to the pan. I was livid. Poured some cream in it, hid it under his bed and bought a new saucepan

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:01:21 2018 No.11159219

>>11157807
>Kneading Dough
>Roommate walks in to use microwave
>O making pizza again anon?
>I tell her she that she can have a slice if she wants when its done
>Pull it out to cool and rest
>Apartment filled with fresh bread smell
>Go for a smoke and cool off
>Back inside to cut the pie
>It's already cut 1/2 the pizza is missing
>Look in fridge
>Half my pizza is wrapped and sitting on her shelf

I only make pizza when shes gone now

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:10:48 2018 No.11159238 >>11157831 was his girlfriend pajeet?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:20:23 2018 No.11159259 File: 2.49 MB, 480x270, 1520544339782.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11159219 Hey, you didn't say how big of a slice, so she just went to the fair share :^)

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:38:28 2018 No.11159297 >>11157878 i hope your okay. whats your gofundme?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:43:27 2018 No.11159310 >>11157824 That's cute :) She sounds nice. Give her a hug todAy

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:44:30 2018 No.11159314 >>11159153 t. Schizo

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:50:08 2018 No.11159327 >>11159153 >"hey dude, can you make sure you clean my pan properly after using it? thanks" wow so hard

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 05:51:21 2018 No.11159333 >>11157807 Roomie ate with his mouth open and was extremely loud. Thank fuck I'm not poor anymore and have my own place. >inb4 it aerates the food Fuck off, you're mouthbreathing tier, people who should be removed from the gene pool.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 10:59:58 2018 No.11160070 File: 19 KB, 467x439, 1523951312042.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11158763 sisters are NOT for sexual go back to /a/ or /b/

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:10:56 2018 No.11160110
File: 307 KB, 619x676, uh_no_sweetie.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be me living in micro-apartment
>shared kitchen for 100+ units
>be one of three people that uses it
>one of them just microwaves potatoes
>the other deep fries about 10 cans of spam once a week
>mfw can smell that putrid smell 6 floors up
>mfw he sets off fire alarm at 5 in the morning one day
>whole building evacs
>everyone stares at him as they walk out
Can't imagine that shame

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:17:21 2018 No.11160130 >>11158314 Can you believe this little shit lads

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:19:13 2018 No.11160135 >>11160110 >deep frying cans of spam if he comprehended what shame was, he would not do such things

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:23:56 2018 No.11160145 >>11158882 >your landlady creates an absurd reason to insert herself in your dwelling daily, and it's great :^) hello leftist

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:43:08 2018 No.11160190 >>11160145 why is /ck/ filled with gremlins who think rules are oppression

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:45:28 2018 No.11160195 >>11160190 Rules violate the NAP

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:48:56 2018 No.11160207 >>11158695 >i hope both of them die Yikes... what a piece of shit you are. Even at 13 years old, that's a fucking faggot thing to say.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:51:15 2018 No.11160213 >>11160190 >pay money renting a living space >rentee lives in your space, performs a useless task while trying to control and subvert you >absolutely fantastic woman :) I bet you can't wait for the chinese takeover, huh

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:52:27 2018 No.11160219

>>11160190
I think rules are just fine but this kind of invasion of privacy is not and anyone who would actually be thankful for it is a disgusting bootlicker.

/ck/ does seem to have some libertarian leanings, though. Probably because at least some of us are capable of feeding ourselves.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:57:58 2018 No.11160239 >>11160195 No they don't, you larping retard. The landlady can impose any rules she wants on her property. Anon is just a fucking idiot for agreeing to them instead of moving elsewhere.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 11:58:29 2018 No.11160244 >>11160239 >her property Sounds like an ancap to me

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:04:48 2018 No.11160259 >>11160219 >this kind of invasion of privacy is not you agree to her rules when you sign the lease, please learn what a landlady is

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:06:22 2018 No.11160263 >>11160259 If I felt like getting bitched out about not washing a dish immediately after use I'd move back in with my mom

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:07:09 2018 No.11160265 >>11160263 "wash your goddamned dishes" is not an unreasonable rule, t. slob

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:08:22 2018 No.11160269 >>11160263 That's the beauty of it. If you're a wimpy cuck and can't solve any interpersonal conflicts you just sublet from a woman you've already signed your rights away to.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:09:38 2018 No.11160273 >>11160244 Yes >>11160259 I think she's well within her rights if it's in the contract. I just think, as I said already, that anon is a fucking idiot for not only agreeing to it but apparently welcoming it.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:17:20 2018 No.11160284

>>11160273
>for not only agreeing to it but apparently welcoming it.
some people work better under a strict rules system, nevermind that if "clean up after yourself" is a household habit you already abide by or just one you want to drill into yourself with the thought of "clean up or be homeless" the lease is no problem at all

whoever was calling it an invasion of privacy is beyond unwarranted, "don't leave dishes in the sink if you don't intend to do them" should be a no-brainer

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:18:34 2018 No.11160286 >>11157832 She was a big girl, sir.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:19:54 2018 No.11160291 >>11160284 >make breakfast >place dishes in sink after eating >go out back for a smoke and coffee >come back inside to a Chink sweeping and snooping around >you no clean >you go

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:20:34 2018 No.11160294 >>11158034 Too many underage here to get the reference, friend. They'd never help anyone move a couch.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:21:08 2018 No.11160295 >>11160291 >i was gonna do them in a moment >WHY YOU WASTE TIME, GO CLEAN THEN, AY YA >do dishes without incident

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:23:54 2018 No.11160302 >>11160295 >first of month >you drop your one allotted chink plate >n-nooooo! >lose 700 dollars worth of rent and your security deposit based owners

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:26:03 2018 No.11160307
File: 705 KB, 1649x1682, 1533318398788.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11157807
My first roommate thought he was too good to eat dining hall food despite making his parents buy him a meal plan, he would exclusively eat sandwiches from the shop on campus (he ended up spending well over 2000 dollarson sandwiches over the course of the year and gained about 45 pounds). He would order hotsauce and extra onions on the sandwiches, but he would take the onions off and throw them in the garbage since he "only liked the lingering taste." He did this three times a day, my room smelled disgusting since he wouldn't take out the trash afterwards. Aside from that the rest of his diet was microwaveable foods like TGI fridays frozen wings. Which he would eat and then suck the sauce off his fingers as loudly as possible. He ate some much of this shit that his body odor was nothing but vinegary hot sauce and onions. He snored like a beast and would occasionally fart himself awake. I also never saw him wash his hands. He was possibly the dumbest man I've ever met, which I'm honestly jealous of because in his mind everyone was his friend.
He once got kicked out of a party for "playfully" slapping a girl and came home crying his eyes out. 3 months later I met someone who was at that party and learned that he right hooked that bitch like a drunken ape.
I hope to god he never gets a job in his major's field. I wouldn't trust that man to take care of a house plant, better yet someone's finances.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:26:44 2018 No.11160309 >>11160302 >come to from your Scrubs imagination-cutaway because even a hardass landlord will understand shit happens >CLUMSY, PAY FOR NEW ONE OR HAVE NO PRATE >clean up debris, go pay like $3 for a new plate >

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:36:19 2018 No.11160335

>>11160284
>some people work better under a strict rules system
Those people are called irresponsible children. It should not be encouraged.
Moving out of mummy's house is usually what gives young people the kick in the ass they need to learn taking care of themselves. Moving right in with a substitute mother only keeps them is that childish bootlicking state. Wouldn't be surprised if she has to tell them to brush their teeth as well. Fucking pathetic.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:37:46 2018 No.11160338 >>11160335 but you can't deny looking at this thread that people using up and not doing dishes is a common problem I didn't create this world, I only live in it, and I rather live in one with an empty sink.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:39:39 2018 No.11160342 >>11160338 I agree that these manchildren are very common, yes. I don't think giving them a substitute mother is the answer. It's part of a much larger issue of course.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:49:43 2018 No.11160363 >>11160286 About a size 14?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:57:12 2018 No.11160385 File: 14 KB, 599x337, 1535995921368.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11160335 >Those people are called irresponsible children. It should not be encouraged. it was here i realized i'm being baited

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:58:12 2018 No.11160390
File: 2.08 MB, 360x203, pepsiman.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11158662
I don't know what's weirder, but the fact that stores stock an inferior cola product like Coca-Cola JUST TO SATISFY A COCAINE MEME really shows a hidden hand at work. It's literally just so you can order Coke!

Can't we just rename Pepsi, Cokesi or something? HOLY SHIT!

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:58:34 2018 No.11160393

>>11160110
I live in a micro apartment but I get a 2 burner electric stovetop and a glorified toaster oven below. Can't complain to much because heat,hot water,and electricity are all included. Neighbors all have electric crock pots or pressure cookers. Guess I will too.Wi-Fi too.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 12:59:35 2018 No.11160397 >>11160385 If you need a woman twice your age to come into your home daily and tell you to clean up your own dishes you are definitely a manchild.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:03:55 2018 No.11160416 File: 16 KB, 600x570, you tried.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11160397 >your home >apartment complex

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:05:34 2018 No.11160421 >>11160393 *Wi-Fi is included also I meant.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:25:03 2018 No.11160484 >>11160416 please tell me you're a zoomer or third worlder

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:25:51 2018 No.11160488 >>11160484 Not your home unless you own it, back to /v/ with that zoomer shit

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:28:24 2018 No.11160499

I live in a shed out the back of mums house
it's cold and local cats come and fight on the roof every night
but it's home, it gets the wifi, and mum brings me food sometimes and lets me come in to use the shower every weekend, otherwise it's the hose. i've got a bbq that i bring in the shed too, just leave the door open for the fumes.
mum rents out my old room to a chinese student called zhang, but i don't blame her because i don't contribute and she struggles to pay the bills.
zhang is a fucking messy shithead though and i always catch him looking at mums ass and apparently he told her that he'd rather i didn't come in the house so much
he leaves rotting chink food in bags outside the shed and he pretends he doesn't speak english when i try to confront him about it and does this shooing gesture at me

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:28:42 2018 No.11160502 >>11160488 kek, go back to /v/ with your incessant bait

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:29:25 2018 No.11160505 >>11160502 >no u go back Priceless

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:29:54 2018 No.11160506 >>11160505 >n-no you're a zoomer yeah it was structured that way intentionally

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:30:59 2018 No.11160508
File: 5 KB, 782x543, whatpumpkin.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11160506
You went from being a dolt to legitimately confusing me in the span of about five seconds, I said "take your shit meme and go back" and you said "actually you are calling me the meme (but secretly)"

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:31:49 2018 No.11160511 >>11160508 oh I misread your posts, this is my bad

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 13:55:14 2018 No.11160579 >>11159219 Why didn't you just take your pizza back you beta?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:01:58 2018 No.11160599 I once had a roommate who ate multiple bags of M&Ms a day. Never chewed. Never. Not once. She would put a single candy in her mouth and then suck on it until it no longer existed then she would proceed to the next. All. Fucking. Day.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:13:15 2018 No.11160623 File: 87 KB, 645x773, 256B6693-38E1-4297-AEA9-481F847B83EA.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11158314 this is by far one of the stupidest posts I’ve ever read. Fuck off you failure of a human being. You’re a joke

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:14:59 2018 No.11160630 >>11158243 >>11158314 >waaa you’re ruining my 4chan experience don’t flatter yourself, no one here is going to waste their time trying to identify you. Based off these two posts I can already tell you’re an insufferable little faggot

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:17:41 2018 No.11160636
File: 359 KB, 500x489, 74518C91-AE82-4EDF-8B46-3C7AB383D4E0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My roommate is a self shaming white liberal man whom likes to watch shows and movies with only black protagonists and white antagonists on Netflix and other liberal propaganda outlets

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:19:00 2018 No.11160642 >>11160636 That sucks but it doesn't really have anything to do with food or cooking.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:21:39 2018 No.11160658

Not really a roomate nor horror story, but Iets say that the 10 days that I offered my apartment to an aquaintance (whose own home had come down with a severe case of mold which fucked up her health) taught me the valuable lesson of what consequences the friendly, hospitable and classic phrases "mi casa, su casa" and "help yourself to whatever you want" can have on your home's cleanliness and food supply.
Seriously, she ate everything.
EVERYTHING.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:29:57 2018 No.11160689 >>11160658 Your dick included?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:31:05 2018 No.11160692 >>11160630 iunno anon... i dox cunts for little reason all the time

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:31:26 2018 No.11160693 >>11157845 You can do that yourself you know :)

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:33:30 2018 No.11160701 >>11157938 Underrated

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:47:02 2018 No.11160762 >>11160689 Well.. no I didn't think to tell her "mi cock, su cock"

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 14:53:13 2018 No.11160788

>>11160762
Women don't have couth in that way. It's like going to dinner with your boss and he says "get whatever you want". You are wise enough not to order the diamond encrusted lobster with golden sprinkles. Women who do this are absolute shit and if you don't ask for blowjobs, it is your own fault.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:05:32 2018 No.11160830 >>11160499 Nice bait now fuck off cuck

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:23:14 2018 No.11160882 >>11160788 To be honest, women's mouths don't interest my penis much. I mean, a mouth is a mouth, but .. you know

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:25:35 2018 No.11160892 >>11160882 Honest question. You're a fag. Getting a blowy from a woman is off limits? I get it I guess. I wouldn't let a dude suck my dick. But y'all are perverts anyway. Why not?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:34:31 2018 No.11160940 >>11160286 i mayve...no, i read about her in the newspaper.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:37:02 2018 No.11160948 >>11160636 howdy parnr

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:38:47 2018 No.11160957 >>11160892 Let's put it like this; if I'm offered a blowywowy I'll be happy to receive it from anyone who is willing to give, but I rather be genuinely aroused when it's from a male rather than using my imagination with a woman.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:39:06 2018 No.11160958 >>11160940 The funniest line in the whole movie is when they're looking down the elevator shaft. >guy lying there all bloody, presumably dead from a gunshot and/or fall >Lecter, put your hands on your head! Cracks me up every time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:39:06 2018 No.11160959 I land lady. I demand clean I sweepuh ya house You have Dish in sink Must go You no live here no more

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:40:54 2018 No.11160962 >>11160957 That's the gayest shit I ever heard

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:44:03 2018 No.11160968 >>11160962 I take that as an overly generous compliment.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:44:57 2018 No.11160972 >>11160968 Be who you are, fag.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:48:06 2018 No.11160981

My ex roommate three times a week would juice about 50 bucks worth of produce into about 5-6 mason jars worth of juice. Sounded like a jet engine downstairs and would take him almost an hour. He did a juice only diet for the first week and ended up getting sick.

Another time, he tried to cook a frozen pizza by placing it on a bamboo wood cutting board then on the center rack. Once the house had filled with smoke we had a little talk. He legit thought that was how pizza restaraunts use a "wood oven" to bake pizzas.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:48:10 2018 No.11160982 >>11160693 I don't know how to bake

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:51:53 2018 No.11160995 >>11160972 Accept yourself.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 15:53:29 2018 No.11161004 >>11158451 >chili, burgers, etc. So, 98% of ground beef-centric recipes?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:00:01 2018 No.11161039 >>11158882 Kek at the color coded stuff. Was this a student house or what? Also genius idea on the landladys part. Keep out filthy people and keep your property intact. Only disagree on the laundry thing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:01:13 2018 No.11161043 >>11160291 It was respectful of you to capitalize "Chink."

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:01:33 2018 No.11161044 >>11160981 he was close, tbf

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:03:17 2018 No.11161049 >>11160259 >>11160263 >>11160273 >>11160284 >>11160338 >>11160397 >>11160484 You faggots ever heard of a dishwasher its like 150 bucks

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:04:08 2018 No.11161053 >>11158130 I don't see why you'd be upset with him using the oven for reheating but the rest does sound pretty bad.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:04:30 2018 No.11161055 >>11160416 Your home is the place where you live. If you live in an apartment, then your apartment is your home.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:40:10 2018 No.11161171 File: 1.09 MB, 500x393, arthur-crying1.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11157807 >francine's unit goes beserk against the eva series >they regenerate >mfw francine is dead, sue ellen is nowhere to be found, and the third impact is happening

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:50:36 2018 No.11161202 File: 72 KB, 710x473, mitt laugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11158647 >that fucking filename I'm actually crying right now. Not even kidding.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:51:48 2018 No.11161209 >>11160393 Yeah I'd just crock and/or mealprep, you can do so much as it is.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 16:53:54 2018 No.11161216 >>11161053 >I don't see why you'd be upset with him using the oven for reheating Why TF would anyone fire up a full-size oven just to heat a couple corn dogs? That's incredibly wasteful.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 17:30:08 2018 No.11161333

>>11160962
Oh. You like what you like. Gay dudes being gay with other gay dudes outside of my residence doesn't bother me. It probably dieant bother you, either.

It's the current year, dude. You can be yourself.

>How does he get out from that egg prison?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 17:31:38 2018 No.11161340 >>11161333 Forgive my spelling errors, anons. I am a phone-posting faggot.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 17:35:42 2018 No.11161351

>>11157807
lived with this stupid girl for a semester and she left my pan on the burner until the water boiled out of it and then all through the night. not only is that a huge fire hazard but also it could have fucked up my pan.
same roomie would also leave her food fucking everywhere and never clean up

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 17:36:25 2018 No.11161352 >>11158882 >losing your deposit for not doing the dishes p sure that's illegal regardless of whether you agree to it

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:29:47 2018 No.11161751
File: 233 KB, 1384x3150, 1388701.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11157807
My roommate in college once mistook my unopened Bailey's coffee creamer for Irish Cream and drank the whole thing the night after I bought it. Only found out after asking around why it was empty the next morning, and it was through my other roommate telling me the first one offered him some Bailey's.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:31:31 2018 No.11161758 I used to put my pee and sperm in the coke bottles my room-mate had in the fridge. He was a real piece of shit so he deserved it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:34:10 2018 No.11161772 >>11157824 Cake is fucking terrible.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:37:48 2018 No.11161786 >>11159327 >he thinks this works

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:44:13 2018 No.11161819 >>11160259 This. Besides who's gonna complain about not having to sweep or mop the living area? The laundry thing sucked a bit but at the time but it was worth it for a spotlessly clean house.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:46:02 2018 No.11161830 >>11160273 I welcomed it because I've had so many good places ruined by 3+ housemates who'd rather let the dishes rot and buy more plates than just do them for 30 sec after eating.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 19:59:38 2018 No.11161893 >>11161786 If you have to be asked to be a decent person,you're not going to be.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:02:22 2018 No.11161905 >>11161758 You're a gay rapist and your ancestors are dishonored.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:03:56 2018 No.11161911 >>11161905 it's only gay for the one who eats the sperm, not the one whose sperm is eaten.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:04:42 2018 No.11161916 >>11160286 For you

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 20:05:11 2018 No.11161925

>be a carnivore
>move into apartment with crazy guy
>try to thaw meat in the fridge
>still frozen after 2 days
>tell roommate I think his fridge is a little too cold
>it's at 9
>he turns it back down to 3
>his fruits and veg turn to mush in the fridge overnight
>freaks out and blames me for sabotaging his plants because I'm a carnivore
It gets better.

>guy is fucking nuts
>he's living on welfare, continuously denied disability for being an abusive asshole to his numerous mental health support staff, bank employees, as well as our landlord and his staff
>try to help him out by lending him some money to buy nice steaks when they went on sale
>he buys toilet paper and paper towel and cleaning supplies for the apartment with the money instead
>refuses my offer of a beautiful rib steak and chooses to eat carbage instead

>he fucking stinks
>at least a can per day of sweetened condensed milk, gabapentin fumes, and tons of garlic emanating from his pores into the air and on the furniture at all times
>makes the bathroom somehow smell terrible after showering
>confront the guy about his hygiene, encourage him to do laundry
>encourage him to shower more than once every few days
>start spraying wintergreen and peppermint oil mixed with water on the furniture to mask the odor
>he hates it, tells me to stop
>keep spraying it whenever he leaves for a few hours
>he comes home earlier than expected right after latest spray session with vastly increased potency
>starts freaking the fuck out, telling me his eyes are burning and he can't see while staring widely into my eyes unblinking
>try to defuse situation
>go into my room and put on my headphones
>he storms in, knocks my headphones off, and throttles my neck up against the wall
>finally I can get rid of this clown
>start smiling and giggling a bit, enraging him further
>he finally lets go
>immediately call police
>press assault charge
>cops believe his story that I'm a guest, not an equal-paying tenant
>they evict ME
1/2

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 20:06:20 2018 No.11161932

>police confiscate my key
>I check into a hotel
>rest for the night
>call my landlord and visit the police station to get my apartment back and get this guy the fuck out
>when I get there he's gone
>my goddamn motherfucking STEAKS are GONE
>cleaning supplies are gone, which I just lent him the money to buy
>assault charge conditions dictate that he can't be near me
>but...
>landlord tenant act here in Ontario dictates that even though I've been assaulted and robbed, this motherfucker can't legally be evicted
>even though he can't be anywhere near the apartment, he can easily impede me from finding a new roommate by not leaving amicably
>sends a town bum over to case the place and see if I'm home
>cut a deal with the landlord to pay the fucker his last month's rent back, including a partial buyout for the remainder of the month to wash my hands of the situation
What a fucking dick. I was nothing but generous to him and he steals my fucking meat the day after refusing it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:09:17 2018 No.11161939 >>11161932 If you're a biological male then I am ashamed of you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:11:07 2018 No.11161946 File: 65 KB, 499x498, 1530137754349.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11158498 This whole fucking post

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:11:30 2018 No.11161948 >>11161925 waiting for him to commit a crime so you can call the cops is faggy. You got the law involved and found out that the law is a dumb, blunt weapon that might hurt the wrong person. Learn to fight

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:12:55 2018 No.11161958 File: 1.21 MB, 2592x1936, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11161911 I wish you wouldn't know I'll fuckkng murdert anyone one

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 20:17:02 2018 No.11161969

>>11161939
I'm more ashamed, trust me. It's taken me too long to learn such a simple lesson not to "help" (enable) criminally abusive people. I've been taken for everything by low-brow retards just because I never learned how to stand up for myself or be confident. Formerly a beta NEET sheepmode incel, carnivory has allowed me to make the transition back to alpha wolfmode. I'm a lot leaner and meaner these days, that's for damn sure. This won't happen again. I wear the big boy pants now.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:18:31 2018 No.11161976 >>11161958 thank you for your interest in my post

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:19:02 2018 No.11161977 >>11161969 Post pictures of your manly carnivore feet right now.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:28:25 2018 No.11162019 >>11160981 I can't imagine the sort of screaming shits he had from that juice diet.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:33:14 2018 No.11162029 File: 33 KB, 388x388, 1534796105678.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11157920 Did it grow life after 3 fucking months holy shit

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:33:42 2018 No.11162031 >>11161969 You are giving me second-hand embarrassment with this post..

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:35:23 2018 No.11162038 >>11162029 It had grown green mold and some of it had turned white

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:35:56 2018 No.11162039 >>11157955 Did you ever ask him to leave your shit alone?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:37:59 2018 No.11162046 >>11157985 No penetration so you are full of shit >>11158030 It's a few starches not just bread crumbs

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:39:43 2018 No.11162055 >>11160291 >place dishes in sink and walk away Yeah, I'm sure you were totally gonna do them as soon as you were done smoking and having coffee cuz you gotta get ready for the day dude

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:42:07 2018 No.11162069 >>11162046 >if you shoot below the waist it isn't attempted murder.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:44:13 2018 No.11162078 >>11158298 I like to add some kind of veg to it. Makes it feel a little less depressing

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:52:44 2018 No.11162108

one time i was with my gf in the dorm room i shared with my roommate. she asked me to masturbate for her because she always did it for me. i say "im gonna cum" and she says "cum in the trash can" despite it not having a bag in there. it was not uncommon to just throw trash into the bagless bin for us. fast forward like 2 days we're all hanging out and out of nowhere my roommate asks me in front of everyone, deadpan, "anon, did you jizz in the trashcan?" i didn't know how to respond so i just chuckled and said haha no what the heck kind of question is that and everyone gathered around the trashcan and they all kept saying "dude that looks like cum to me man" and i kept denying it and the more i denied it the more everyone was convinced that a big load of baby seed was cemented onto the bottom of our trash bin. good times

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 20:55:04 2018 No.11162115 >>11158056 dude wtf. this sounds like a condensed version of a special and wonky Big Brother season that got canned because of how inhumane the premise was.

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 20:57:31 2018 No.11162124
File: 210 KB, 800x1066, meatfeet.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11161948
As a /qresearch/er I don't condone violence ever unless it's completely necessary to defend my life. Fighting him would have landed ME in jail. He had just called a fucking bomb threat into city hall and had the place evacuated the previous month over his disability. He'd been trying to go after our landlord, his previous landlord, and a bunch of other people in town over petty bullshit. Victim complex 101. I'd been dealing with cops over him for weeks prior to the situation unfolding. I stand by my decision to get him out of my life as quickly and painlessly as possible. Even the cops told me their system is totally broken and there was nothing they could really do for me aside from laying down the charge and keeping him away from me. He got his money, a new apartment through the mental health association, and the time and attention he wasn't getting before by causing such a ruckus. If anything he should thank me for the opportunity. This place was like a prison to him, he hated it and was paranoid about the other tenants. I moved in thinking I could help him. All I did was enable him. Just cut my losses and moved on. If I can, I'll probably drop the charge but I don't think it's up to me, at least not before it goes to court.

>>11161977
pic related. Size 9. I'm still healing from years of beta bitchboi syndrome. I'm 26 and just barely starting to grow a beard and chest hair. I know how it feels to be an estrogent with aching gynecomastia titties. Feeling testosterone at appropriate levels is pure bliss. My boyish charming looks and newfound wolfish attitude and intelligence should serve me well with the young girls at college. Now that I'm healthy I'm gonna start liftan for free at school. I'm studying outdoor recreation and leisure, ecotourism, and recreation therapy. My plan is to build a career in rehab for NEETs like myself who've been stuck in the basement too long eating carbage and stagnating.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:05:00 2018 No.11162150 >>11162124 you live in a world of self delusion my friend

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 21:05:16 2018 No.11162154

>>11162124
And yes, I ate the feet meat after the picture. I'm the opposite of a germophobe, I'm a germophile. These gut bacteria I have living in here now are great tenants. Much quieter and better behaved than sugar-eaters like candida. I leave meat on the counter for days sometimes when I'm feeling spicy. See "high meat" for details.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:07:04 2018 No.11162161 >>11162154 You're manic as a motherfuck. Get some sleep.

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 21:09:52 2018 No.11162167

>>11162150
Don't we all? I feel like I'm closer to the truth than I ever have been. You should have seen me when I was a new age spiritual vegan, literally forced into a mental hospital for 55 days, restrained, and juiced up with antipsychotic meds. One steak at a time, I'm manning the fuck up. Better late than never.

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 21:12:36 2018 No.11162178

>>11162161
It's a controlled burn, homie. Carnivory is the only thing that helps manage it. I'm not denying it, in fact I've got some sick rhymes for you.

Abstract mathematic
Cash-strapped systematic attack
I'm rather manic
Watch me while I gather panic
Soundtrack telepathic
Smash slapped emphatically
Enigmatically programmed to your modem Automatically

Intact but sporadic
Smack tapped monadically
Nomadically flow to my zone
I grow radically
Crack open the schematic
Track mapped grammatically
Smokin' dope somatically
To keep me symptomatic-free

Call up 'ya mechanic
The titanic is sinkin'
Tyrannical forces bring four horsemen up Apocalyptic
Cryptically insipid
Typically acquitted
Secretly remitted
Infrequently admitted

Vibrate the tympanic
Let the magic sink in
Heretical voices bring noise
Poised against the opposition
Fission is the mission
Abolition of tradition
Splittin' up partition up
And spittin' the emission

The world has got me wishin'
Got me fishin' for position
Ambition is the key to recognition
I ain't askin' for permission
I'm baskin' in the flame
On the road to perdition
My flow is sedition
Unmaskin' the patrician

My ammunition's my ambition
In this war of attrition
In my core it's intuition
Now we bring the opposition
A people's inquisition
Now I'm hittin' the ignition
Memetic magician on a mission
Poetic tactician in your kitchen
Now it's time to quit'cha bitchin'
Just listen

Goetic evocations n'
Demonic vibrations
Take a hold of 'ya soul and
Control the damned nation
Wi-fi to your mind
The lies and crimes
With my rhymes
I break the program
You know that I don't give a damn
You know I'm here to lend a hand
And open 'ya eyes
To the lies and the crimes

United we stand
Divided we fall
The rights we demand
We write up on the wall
United we stand
Divided we fall
The rights we demand
We take to city hall
1/2

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:13:23 2018 No.11162182 >>11162178 >1/2 NO

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 21:13:37 2018 No.11162184

>>11162178

Cisgendered I remember
The way it used to be
All about the family
Livin' it up in harmony
Inclusive a community
No political identity
Everybody livin' free
Happiness for you and me
Multiplying fruitfully
Livin' life youthfully
And speakin' truthfully

No wars without warheads
I'm callin' out the war heads
If I get in your heads
We'll be gettin' more fed
Instead of more dead

Just to line the
Just to line the
Just to line the pockets of the fed
Just to line the
Just to line the pockets of the fed
Just to line the
Just to line the pockets of the fed
Just to line the
Just to line the pockets of the fed

How much more blood
Until we've seen enough red?
Kicked down in the mud
Overworked and underfed
Kings eat the meat
And slaves eat the bread my friend

These clowns in the circus
Always thank you for your purchase
But underneath the surface
They're creating a disturbance
Always lurkin' and creepin' underneath 'ya motherfuckin' dermis
And keep 'ya runnin' around in circles
For what purpose?
To usurp us

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:17:15 2018 No.11162196 File: 70 KB, 482x760, 1535843247152.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11162178 >>11162184

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:21:37 2018 No.11162205 >>11162078 it's good with onions and bell peppers but at that point just buy a big box of elbow noodles and season it yourself. Like cutting up a chicken breast in those knorr sidekicks, minimal additional effort to just make a decent meal

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:22:54 2018 No.11162210 File: 158 KB, 600x623, smeltg.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11161171 Underrated as fuck

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Tue Sep 4 21:23:37 2018 No.11162213
File: 30 KB, 450x320, stock-photo-eating-meat-hungry-woman-ripping-raw-red-meat-with-her-healthy-white-teeth-closeup-portrait-of.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11162182
>>11162161
>>11162150
>>11162031

Taters gonna tate I guess. With less carbage in your diet I'm sure you'd tate less. Back to roommate stories, I'm out. Sorry for the interruption, but I'm only doing this to raise awareness for carnivory. If I get in even one lurker's head and they discover how fucking awesome and liberating is, my mission is accomplished. I get banned for advertising all the time, despite monster memes and blatant fast food and vegan shilling 24/7. Are you not amused? You can't possibly demoralize me when I feel this good all the time.

justmeat.co

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:27:12 2018 No.11162225

>>11162184
You've lost your mind. This is dangerous mania. Stop with the CARNIVORE DIET IS MAKING ME SEE THE WORLD AS IT IS REALLY IS! EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED, THERE'S NO BLACK AND WHITE IT'S ALL SHADES OF GREY AND EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING. Get help before you take this diet too far and start eating people. I don't think you're too far off cooking up a man steak for ULTIMATE CARNIVORE TESTOSTERONE GAAAIIINNNNSSS.
t. mental health professional

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:28:31 2018 No.11162227

>>11157807
>High as fuck
>It's like 3am, but the munchies are real, everyone's been asleep for a while so I'll go down and grab something quietly.
>Get downstairs, don't want to turn the lights on and wake up roommates dog, he's awesome, but he's also a bothersome asshole.
>Use cellphone light to go towards fridge
>OH FUCK WHAT IS THAT
>Roommate, bare ass naked standing there with a jar of mayonnaise in hand and a spoon, heaping spoonful headed to his mouth, obviously already has a mouthful.
>"Oh... hey dude" he says as he takes the second spoonful.
>... "Hey"
>Grab fruit off counter, go back upstairs
>We both pretend it never happened.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:31:35 2018 No.11162236 >>11160338 This. To be honest 80% of these threads and people bitching about shitty housemates comes down to "he didn't do his dishes" or not cleaning up the kitchen after themselves.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:34:48 2018 No.11162255 >>11161049 Didn't work in a house with lazy dirty people. They'll either still leave their dishes in the sink saying they'll "get around to it" or they'll leave the dishes to rot in the dishwasher. One plate, one bowl, one set of cutlery always works

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:35:14 2018 No.11162257 >>11157911 ive dealt with a lot of people like you, and I can tell you, a thank you is really enough. People generally understand if they know you

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:36:42 2018 No.11162266 >>11162255 You're really going to let some slant tell you you can't own dishes? I thought you ANTIFA types hated tyrants

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:37:34 2018 No.11162268 >>11162225 do you know your whole career is propped up on false jewish pretenses?

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:41:58 2018 No.11162288

my roommate left some takeout food in the fridge for a few months on end and didn't even bother throwing it away before winter break. so i cleaned the fridge out and was greeted with cartons of rotting bananas and a cup of soup that had basically become solid with mold

i guess it all turned out okay cause his girlfriend gave him a restraining order the next semester for god knows what

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:42:35 2018 No.11162291 >>11160636 Ask him why all his shows portray white men as all powerful egomaniac super villain geniuses, why can't a black women be smart enough to start a criminal empire?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:53:36 2018 No.11162382 >>11158430 I mean if going vegetarian gets him to eat more greens more power to him but chances are he will just load up on starches alone now and maybe sweets

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 21:59:06 2018 No.11162408

>>11158647
Dude make time it's alot of fun and a valuable life skill.
I was working three jobs at one point and doing fine until I bought a bunch of stuff for a specific pasta dish. My carrot juice, raw milk, and veggies went bad which costs alot all because I didn't have time to make a bunch and freeze off the ravilois so I quit one job to have actual time off

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 22:07:49 2018 No.11162437

>>11157807
my room mate cooks spaghetti and separates the noodles and the sauce and the noodles always come out undercooked and since theyre not mixed together, they stick together and become a gross clump since he doesn't salt the water he boils the noodles in.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 22:24:51 2018 No.11162496 >>11161969 Actual autism

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 22:35:33 2018 No.11162536 >>11158056 > ski resort Which one, m9? Did you even get paid enough to live there?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:11:25 2018 No.11162648 >>11162069 >t. Doesn't know about arterial veins in the legs

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:13:40 2018 No.11162655 >>11157832 >>11158034 Noice

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:16:45 2018 No.11162660 File: 82 KB, 645x729, 5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11162648 >arterial veins

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:26:21 2018 No.11162680

>>11160307
>he would take the onions off and throw them in the garbage since he "only liked the lingering taste.
>Aside from that the rest of his diet was microwaveable foods like TGI fridays frozen wings. Which he would eat and then suck the sauce off his fingers as loudly as possible.
>occasionally fart himself awake.
>he right hooked that bitch like a drunken ape
Absolutely patrician
You know he is /ourguy/ holy fuck

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:28:13 2018 No.11162691 File: 68 KB, 650x646, fashnug.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11161772 You take that back you tasteless swine

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:29:02 2018 No.11162693 File: 63 KB, 375x455, 1531084493817.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11162660 https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/arterial+vein

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:29:27 2018 No.11162694

>>11157905
Made me a little sad. Try to join clubs or recreational groups that you are interested in and meet people there. You have the benefit of having a shared interest, which makes connecting easier.
Worked for me with badminton, Dnd, table tennis etc. I was cripplingly alone before.

Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:30:02 2018 No.11162697

>>11162536
Whistler. Yeah I got a supervisor job and I didn't go clubbing or to bars too often so I wasn't too bad money wise, worst part is just your rent taking up 2/3 of your pay.
Ski towns the trick is to take
>Partying
>Skiing
>Eating well
And pick two. I had housemates who picked just the first two and survived on a diet of delivered pizza and ketamine

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:31:36 2018 No.11162703 >>11162680 I'd like to meet him and have him teach me how to play Warhammer 40k tabletop, because I'm nearly 100% sure he could.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:33:10 2018 No.11162711 File: 64 KB, 658x901, dunce.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11162693 Well, I stand corrected. I'll go sit in the corner now.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:48:22 2018 No.11162756 >>11160190 what is stopping you from being disciplined and not being a fucking 18-25 year old baby?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:51:06 2018 No.11162763 >>11162756 ummm when i do it it's discipline, when you do it you're a sheeple following rules lmao

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:52:17 2018 No.11162769 >>11162763 whatever boy, tell your chinese MOMMY to swipe your ass when you finish shitposting

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 4 23:53:20 2018 No.11162772 >>11162769 god you are an absolute chad if i had a vagina i would breed with you RIGHT NOW

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Wed Sep 5 00:03:41 2018 No.11162820

>>11162225
Again, you should have seen me when I was an ET/UFO obsessed new age vegan meditator. I thought THAT was the solution to the (((ISSUE))). Been there, done that, got my t-shirt, yoga mat, and mental health diagnosis, and forced injections. I'm as bipolar as they come. Put my picture in your godforsaken medical textbook for all I care. Your kike psyops are undermining the entire population. I never would have been diagnosed in the first place if I was never inundated with disinfo and led to believe that a plant based diet would raise my "spiritual power", allowing me to make a difference fighting the cabal. I've had all the (((help))) I need. I'm gainfully employed, enrolled in college, and perfectly well adjusted thanks to my dietary choices. I've repaired relationships with friends and family after regaining a touch of sanity. It's a fine line between madness and genius. Carnivore dieting keeps my blood sugar -and my mood- straight and narrow. I'd still be an absolute loon neurotically preoccupied by jewish psyops and disinformation if I didn't go wolfmode and learn to see through it all. It was like waking up from a lifelong bender when I got my brain off glucose and onto ketones. I was embarrassed at everything I once believed when I finally woke up.

The crux of my message is exposing the elite human trafficking pedovores who actually do rape and eat children. I hope you learned something today. I could have chosen to study mental health and addictions, but I could already write books about it that would blow yours the fuck out. As an outdoor recreation and sport conditioning professional I'll be able to meatpill my clientele, helping them regain their health and sovereignty for real, without having to pay any kikes seven figures and be "systematized". The mental health industry is fucked up. When the Invega kicked in I ordered pizza pretty much every day. The food in mental institutions here in Ontario is fucking abysmal carbage.

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Wed Sep 5 00:20:51 2018 No.11162872
File: 49 KB, 634x461, zerocarbqt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Last one for the night:

Raw Deal

Blind masses fed on bread and lies
The dreams within our hearts
Never to be realized
Sleeping behind the wheel of life
Until the day we rise
Until the day we rise
Until the day we rise

Running round in circles
Lost without a purpose
Slaves to bread and circus
Breaking the chains of indentured service

Ignorance is bliss
Or so we're taught to believe
By those who scheme to bereave
With magic words they weave
Illusion, it's devolution
Devilish cheers at our destitution
Unconscious fears, no absolution
Their time has come for dissolution
Retribution, restitution
The end of human persecution
Prosecution of the inhuman institution

With a malicious sneer
The priest and the king and the profiteer
Always turning peer on peer
Selling pain and fear
From stone to spear to atomic bomb
How could we let things go so wrong?
It goes on and on and on
Now we're breaking the cycle
With our song

Enslaved in debt to your central bank
Depraved in heart with (((you))) to thank
Only saved are those with higher rank
The rest of us?
Walk the plank
Your son and daughter?
Cannon fodder
Beware the marauder

Mind control is hard to break
The culture prescribed is harder to take
Media madness obscuring what's real
Influencing what we think and feel
It's a raw deal

Bow before me
Down you kneel
Kiss the ring
Your soul is sealed

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 00:33:51 2018 No.11162917

My friend had a roommate that left butter out on the butter dish, for it to just melt. My friend also had roommates that would not even clean themselves up, because they threw parties then went to class.

>>11162697
Well that's depressing. I don't party often, but having to hear that for all the efforts you do at a ski resort job, you still end up short because of how expensive colorado living is.

I have been to Vail, Breckenridge, Keystone, Arapahoe Basin, and Steamboat Springs in Colorado for snowboarding, so I had an idea of working and living there one day.

All I see on job sights is how you get shit pay and shit living conditions if you go for those "employee housing" options.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 01:07:59 2018 No.11163017 >>11162680 He was also a mouthbreathing wannabe weeb.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 01:08:21 2018 No.11163018 >>11162693 It's Femoral,stupid.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 01:11:46 2018 No.11163027 >>11162872 STOP

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 01:35:24 2018 No.11163093

>>11162917
Getting a place to rent in ski towns sucks but isn't impossible. the trick is putting up with a shitty 4 person to a room share for a couple of months while you make social connections and keep your ear close to the ground on a good place opening up. People always prefer to have someone they know (friends, coworker, friend of friend etc) to move in than some unpredictable random.
I stayed in my $900 a month for 4-to-a-room for 4 months until a coworker mentioned she was evicting her psychotic housemate, ended up taking over and getting my own room for $500/month.

Nothing wrong with partying by the way, just don't do retarded shit like going clubbing 6 nights in a row doing coke and ket then wonder why you're broke, tired and your boss wants to fire you.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 01:57:19 2018 No.11163160 >>11161171 Nice.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 02:17:32 2018 No.11163201 >>11162178 >>11162184 >>11162872 Please make a vocaroo of you rapping these right now

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 03:32:27 2018 No.11163332 File: 360 KB, 908x1024, 14255062625_fdecb62811_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11162178 >>11162184 Minutes before making these posts...

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:05:52 2018 No.11163405 >>11159219 did you not do anything about it?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:07:06 2018 No.11163407 >>11159333 I have hardcore misophonia and this is the reason why I eat in my room alone. My whale housemate smacks everything. and chews gum constantly

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:09:26 2018 No.11163413 File: 39 KB, 444x444, image.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] What if you were the roommate? I regret it. It's like I didn't have empathy or a sense of dignity.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:14:11 2018 No.11163431 >>11163332 I did meth twice and never understood the appeal. I also had lots of cocaine at the time, and shortly later got a decade prescription for adderall, but still, it's a pretty low IQ drug.

Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Wed Sep 5 04:19:45 2018 No.11163446

>>11163201
It's 4am here. New roommate is asleep. Please forgive my weak ass quiet delivery. I hit most of the rhythms. It'll be recorded professionally with some more fittingly manic energy as soon as I can afford it with a sick triplet shuffle beat. The other song isn't rap, at least it wasn't written as rap. It's more progressive rock/metal. I need to hire a good singer for my band before that gets recorded.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0HZ39MhRPVS

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:21:56 2018 No.11163454 >>11163431 i presume you're some lardass dude weed lmao seth rogan look a like fatass

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:22:24 2018 No.11163457 File: 81 KB, 500x661, identifying why.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11163446

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:25:00 2018 No.11163463 >>11163454 Why? Because I said I tried an upper a couple times at some undefined point in my past, at which time I also had access to a couple other kinds of uppers?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:26:55 2018 No.11163470 >>11163446 I seriously don't get how anybody's able to not lose in these you cringe you lose threads.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:31:14 2018 No.11163477 >>11163446 Oh shit You don't live in Oak Ridge, Tennessee do you?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:38:16 2018 No.11163484 File: 22 KB, 400x510, 1536100785872.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11163446 >... >Fuck the fed.

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:40:13 2018 No.11163488

>>11157911
i know how you feel anon. My sister tries WAY too hard with everything she does and all the good she makes so for my birthday or another family members birthday she doesn't do something EXTREME she feels like it wasn't properly celebrated. All I want in life is to eventually live by myself in some small comfy house or apartment (a nice one though) and play video games. I don't want to celebrate my birthday and do special shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:41:32 2018 No.11163491 >>11163488 Girls are weird about birthdays. They get excited about theirs nearly a month in advance. They're weird people.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:41:43 2018 No.11163492 >>11157878 that's just fucking depressing. jesus christ...if you're going to eat like shit at least eat unhealthy food that isn't so goddamn depressing.

>>	Friendly Neighborhood Carnivor(...) Wed Sep 5 04:55:38 2018 No.11163514 >>11163477 Nope, I am leaf. I live in a remote northern hamlet in an igloo.

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 04:56:25 2018 No.11163516

>Flatmate in Navy
>Comes back from cheap drinks the night before he leaves for a 3 month thing for some navy thing around the world
>Doesn't use the door
>Jumps through his bedroom window
>Takes off his clothes ready to wake up his wife for surprise sexytime
>Doesn't know his 2 month of child is sleeping next to her
>Jumps over wife onto the baby

Anyway, his wife soaked my 3 skillets in detergeant and ran it through the dishwasher because 'it was so dirty', ran my shitty S30V boka saga knives through their electric sharpener and ate all my goddamn white habaneros while I was on site at work for a week.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:05:11 2018 No.11163532 >>11157824 I want to eat her pusycake

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:06:23 2018 No.11163533 >>11157905 There's something wrong with you if you want to eat with people

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:12:50 2018 No.11163537 >>11158498 God i wish that were me

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:15:14 2018 No.11163540 >>11158498 More please

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:19:58 2018 No.11163547
File: 380 KB, 1166x851, 1441696893957.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Had a couple of different roommates that were terrible.
>living on campus
>share apartment with Chinese dude
>going full /fit/
>would cook chicken in rice cooker and leave it there all week before eating it
>never cleaned the rice cooker either
>room smelt like a weird combination of strawberries and cigarettes

Another person I lived with
>hoarded all cutlery and plates in his room
>refused to clean anything he used
>would constantly cut things in nonstick pans
>would just throw out other people's food to make room for the stuff he would buy and never eat
>Would eat cans of sardines and just leave the empty cans in his room making his entire room smell
>whenever you were cooking he would be in the kitchen and actively tell you what you are doing wrong even if it was completely illogical what his suggestions were
The guy was an absolute cunt. He was "moving out" for 6 months but couldn't find a place to move but somehow during the 2 weeks that I was overseas he was able to find a place to move into, take most of my kitchen gear and expected his bond money back whilst I was away on a trip.
When I came back I checked out what his room was like, it looked like somebody was murdered in there from the amount of wine spills that there were.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:36:18 2018 No.11163579 >>11159327 >"yeah sure man i'm sorry" >does nothing repeat

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:38:52 2018 No.11163581 >>11163579 >slice throat open >disintegrate body in Blendtec wow so hard

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:40:25 2018 No.11163586 >>11160307 I snore like a fucking walrus and it's the only reason I've never had a roomate. Otherwise I'm a lovely dude and people would love to live with me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:51:12 2018 No.11163604 >>11161351 I've always wondered whether a pan would melt if you did this the pan was actually fine? what kind is it?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 05:52:52 2018 No.11163608 >>11163604 Stoves don't get hot enough to melt steel. At worst it will warp.

>>	Banned/Pruned SNL Skits Wed Sep 5 06:24:41 2018 No.11163649 >>11157938 Solid Gold.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 07:12:23 2018 No.11163723 >>11158498 >>11163537 This but unironically.

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 07:29:41 2018 No.11163759

>>11163604
I've done this more than once. Blackout out drinking.... There was white powder all over my stove and a weird looking orange line all over my walls. The line is comparable to a brownish orange rust water line. The "softer" metal plate on the bottom of the pot had come loose. It was a scene man

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 07:33:47 2018 No.11163764

>>11163405
No, She is emotionally unstable. I just rarely make pizza when she's home. I had to reset the router one time and her laptop running windows 98 couldnt find the network for 2 hours. She thought I had done this on purpose and screamed at full volume how her life was a disater and at that moment was my fault.

I had just smoked a bowl of weed and had to console her and fix the issue. I also very much need her rent money.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 07:37:36 2018 No.11163769 >>11163764 Windows 98? How old was her computer? My parents upgraded from Windows 98 before I even started school.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 07:43:35 2018 No.11163784 >>11163769 It's on old peice of shit missing half the buttons on it. I just woke up I meant windows xp... still ancient

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 07:53:10 2018 No.11163798 >>11162917 Butter is hard in fridge Butter dish is for soft butter fucking moron

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 08:08:17 2018 No.11163824 >>11158263 Wow I didn't know how the world worked until I saw your series of posts. Thanks for the intilect

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 08:12:38 2018 No.11163831 >>11157955 haha you got that dumb roommate did you ever eat some of the leftovers to see what they taste like? haha im only kidding, of course

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 08:15:47 2018 No.11163833

>live together with a Chinese guy for half a year
>somehow manages to loudly smack and slurp whenever he eats, even if it’s potato chips
>watches anime at full blast while eating too (iirc, Slam Dunk and Kuroko no Basket judging by the dialogue I overheard. Also, one of them involved Yuki Kaji constantly screaming)
>whenever he slept, he would make these really odd throaty groans and ribbiting noises in his sleep
Not that I didn’t have my share of issues too, but holy shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 08:39:45 2018 No.11163878 >>11163833 >somehow manages to loudly smack and slurp whenever he eats, even if it’s potato chips That's all Chinese, unfortunately. They eat like pigs.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 08:40:47 2018 No.11163882 >>11163769 >My parents upgraded from Windows 98 before I even started school That's cuz you're too young to be on this website young man.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 08:59:37 2018 No.11163928 >>11163514 Oh so you're from Barry then. That makes much more sense.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 09:02:55 2018 No.11163938 >>11162213 You have to be self-aware how weird you're being. I like the character you've created if it is one but if this is who you're a nutter, never change.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 09:05:06 2018 No.11163944 >>11158130 stupid to throw away the silverware though

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 09:57:43 2018 No.11164078 >>11163516 Is the baby ok?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 10:00:15 2018 No.11164083 File: 48 KB, 436x298, 1523168240169.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11160623 t.human leech

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 10:23:34 2018 No.11164131

>Old roommate
>Christmas Eve
>Runs in the kitchen and dices 12 chicken breast frantically
>Puts it all in a punch bowl
>Puts chicken punch on counter
>Ohok.png
>Leave for two week holiday
>Come home
>Chicken still there untouched and undocked
>She comes home the next day
>Ohhaianon
>Throws chicken in frying pan
>Add smashed tomatoes
>Mealprep for a week of food

Gross

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 10:25:24 2018 No.11164136 >>11164131 I have the same story but involving fish.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 10:41:20 2018 No.11164178 >>11163882 It's 2018 friend, kids born in 2000 are here RIGHT NOW

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 11:04:45 2018 No.11164255 >>11162693 This is absolutely not what you fucking meant. Just take the L. >Pulmonary arteries/veins in the leg. fuck off.

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 11:09:17 2018 No.11164267

I went from having a neneurotic bitch for a roommate to several complete slobs.

Roommate 1:
Would send me picture texts in class of like, a totally ordinary cupboard and call me lazy. I'd have to try to figure out what her problem was so I would start guessing what I did wrong and it would always be something ridiculous like, "you didn't nest the pots properly" or "that's not where the strainer goes". If anything wasn't perfect in the kitchen I would get harassed about it.

Roommates 2:
Were constantly letting food rot in the kitchen or the living room. Initially I cleaned up after them sometimes but as time went on I didn't want to be their mom so I stopped. They would always eat out and just left their McDonald's wrappers on the coffee table. When there wasn't any more room for wrappers they would move some of them to the couch to make extra room.

Current roommates are somewhere between the two examples, which is definitly ideal

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 12:29:00 2018 No.11164488 >>11158498 does your bathroom not have a lock? Also she doesn't respect you as a man if she does that kind of shit. You are basically a cuck. I mean what you described literally sounds like an intro to cuck porn.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 12:38:10 2018 No.11164515 >>11164136 Did yours leave shortly thereafter?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 13:23:43 2018 No.11164673 >>11163798 There's a fine line between having butter out for 2 hours for breakfast, and having butter out for 24 hours until it is just liquid butter. Maybe I didn't make myself clear.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 13:32:23 2018 No.11164709 >>11164673 Has to be >30° though I normally leave a dish of butter out

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 13:55:16 2018 No.11164810 >>11164709 You leave a dish of butter out, to just melt to complete liquid and to be poured into the drain, thus wasting butter? That's what my friends roommate did. Just waste butter, letting it sit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 14:15:20 2018 No.11164871 >>11164267 >you didn't nest the pots properly Explain, I don't know how you fuck that up without it being obvious.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 14:16:59 2018 No.11164878 >>11164810 Butter doesn't melt like that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 14:22:53 2018 No.11164903 >>11164810 no, i leave a dish of butter out, and have delicious soft butter because my kitchen isn't a fiery inferno that ever goes above 30°

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 15:29:39 2018 No.11165127 >>11164903 What is that in degrees of freedom?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 15:57:34 2018 No.11165232 File: 216 KB, 800x800, 30206500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11164488 >implying his story actually happened

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 16:40:02 2018 No.11165396 >>11160207 i hope you get hurt severely and get various disgusting and painful diseases but live to feel every second of pain for being such a faggot as to virtue signal

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 16:41:13 2018 No.11165405 >>11163764 >weed yeah you deserve worse you degenerate faggot

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 16:55:13 2018 No.11165456 File: 120 KB, 750x750, 1473647236813.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11162872

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 16:59:01 2018 No.11165471 >>11164878 Yea well this butter did

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 17:35:29 2018 No.11165582 >>11163514 >Rapping triplets >not from Memphis, not even from Tennessee What did he mean by this ?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 17:41:49 2018 No.11165603 >>11163723 I wasn't being ironic. I really do want a strict autismal German domme to discipline meine 18cm kleiner schwanz.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 17:45:48 2018 No.11165621 >>11163878 They're honestly the most disgusting eaters possible. They somehow manage to slurp solid food and lips smack and chew drinks. They really should be exterminated.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 18:06:07 2018 No.11165685 >>11163463 yes you are less than human and even a nobody will be objectively better than you you degenerate faggot

Anonymous Wed Sep 5 18:12:26 2018 No.11165712

>>11164267
>Roommate 1
Yea that's the trouble with getting a roommate that's a good balance. You dont want a messy cunt like Roommate 2 or someone who doesnt do their dishes. I had a guy like that who used to leave KFC chicken bones in the carpet and threw his condoms into a pile under his bed.

But people like Roommate 1 can be just as insufferable. Constant drama and passive-aggressive bullshit caused by their OCD.
Best solution I've found is just having a 1 month probation period for new housemates. If they're too much like either roommate 1 or 2 then they get kicked out.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 18:32:26 2018 No.11165785 >>11165603 This but unironically.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 5 18:48:49 2018 No.11165830 >>11160762 fucking hell anon

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking