/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11188493]

who /coolwineaunt/ here?

[Anonymous No.11188545]

>>11188493
i live near a town that is pretty much nothing but this sort of thing. it's the fucking worst

[Anonymous No.11188558]

>>11188493
Based. That sorts out my Christmas shopping for the year.

[Anonymous No.11188569]

>>11188493
I like to chug two bottles of wine while my children are crying for food in the other room and sit my swollen balloon knot on one of the bottles and chuck the other one at my kids to get them to shut their fuckin yaps

[Anonymous No.11188572]

>>11188493
why can i see and hear the women who owns this collection vividly in my head.

[Anonymous No.11188809]

>>11188493
>wine aunt
>only drinks shitty Cremants and prosecco
Even Chianti and brunello drinking wine aunts are better.

[Anonymous No.11188830]

I fucking hate women that are all like "lelel I am drinking le wine lol xD such an alcoholic"

[Anonymous No.11188864]

>>11188809
>I brought the wiiiiiiine~<3~~<3333
>Its a $15 box of Franzia
>Its all for her
>She still drinks your other aunts wine

[Anonymous No.11189245]

>>11188493
Oh shit, the memes are true.

[Anonymous No.11189897]

>>11188493
My wine aunt is actually really cool, she knows a ton about champagne and how it's made, keeps a pretty well organized book of wines she's tried, and recently bought a red Portofino that she dailies. I hope one day to be as cool as that aunt.

She is also polite, shares, and never gets annoyingly drunk.

[Anonymous No.11189907]

>>11188545
Then start making your own with even dumber shit on it. Take the market by storm and crush the competition. NPCs are used to these things but still read them all. If you can come up with clever sayings that make wineaunts cringe you can dominate the Reddit market.

[Anonymous No.11189996]

>>11189897
nice. i bet when she goes home she screams and cries because shes alone and childless

[Anonymous No.11190914]

>>11188493
I have a wine Aunt but she's not cool.

[Anonymous No.11190920]

>tfw cool aunt died

She bought me a giant stock pot because she knows I like to cook.

[Anonymous No.11190931]

*cthunk*
*gluglugluglug*
>sssiippp
Can't wait for my winter vacation in the Bahamas. No husband, no kids, just me and Mr. Merlot!

[Anonymous No.11190948]

>>11188830
strange. i know no such women
>a man is known by the company he keeps

[Anonymous No.11191467]

>>11188493
Kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.11191501]

>>11190948
who said anything about keeping company with them
why would you assume that then use that assumption to insult that anon?
smells like projection

[Anonymous No.11191538]

>>11188493
I don't know if I am.
>family came in from out of town
>took the kids out to the local zoo
>they are hungry and want Chinese
>take them to China town and we eat at a street food cart while I drink wine
I don't see them much but when I do I take the time to introduce them to new stuff. Last year we went to a water park and then they enjoyed a bonfire at my back yard while I drank wine. Gave the oldest some. He hated it.

[Anonymous No.11191547]

>>11191501
because when people have an issue with a type of person, it's usually from interacting with that type of person, not just imagining
either way it's fucking retarded, just stop

>that anon
give me a break

[Anonymous No.11191666]

>>11191538
Do you feel lonely?
Do you sometimes feel like interactions between men and women have become fake because the men secretly dont share your politics?

[Anonymous No.11191667]

>>11191547
there's a difference between encountering someone and keeping company with them
sperg

[Anonymous No.11191672]

>>11188493
Why is being an "alcoholic" trendy if you're a woman?

[Anonymous No.11191680]

>>11191672
Because we can only trust them to be honest when they're sloshed.

[Anonymous No.11191683]

>>11191672
Lol, isn't this a part of those dishes some Anon made around the time of Brodain's death?

[Anonymous No.11191690]

>>11191683
Yes

[Anonymous No.11191693]

>>11191672
Men have the exact same attitude. "How was your weekend" "I can't remember" "Sounds good, LOL," etc.

It's just that men are less likely to purchase trinkets than women.

[Anonymous No.11191702]

>>11191693
If a man gets drunk and has sex, no big deal. If a woman gets drunk, she becomes far more likely to cheat on her mate.

[Anonymous No.11191734]

>>11191702
>her mate
Are you serious?

[Anonymous No.11191755]

>>11191666
I do feel lonely
I don't talk politics
I own a cat and he is my special man

[Anonymous No.11191763]

>>11191734
Strewth, mate.

[Anonymous No.11191801]

>>11191693
I think you're confusing alcoholism with having a routine life, where every minute task is not worth making 45 minutes of small talk about.

[Anonymous No.11191847]

>>11191672
Ritual drinker vs alcholic. People who get drunk frequently but aren't physically addicted degenerates are propped up on both genders, "cold one with the boys" crowd. People who drink vodka from plastic jugs are stigmatized both and women.

[Anonymous No.11193156]

>>11191538
>failing to mate as a female
How fucking nuts are you

[Anonymous No.11193158]

>>11191755
>Cat
Probably why no man will put up with you. How old are you.

[Anonymous No.11193213]

>>11188493
My cool wine aunt is a crazy rich oil executive that only drinks whites and rosè, really like having dinner with her

[Anonymous No.11193323]

>>11190948
>I know no women.
Ftfy

[Anonymous No.11193413]

They are party sluts until 35 then cat ladies for ever more

[Anonymous No.11193418]

>>11188569
based Aussie mom keeping hydrated

[Anonymous No.11193423]

>>11191672
It's a calling card for "my pussy is open for business if you dispense X amount of cheap booze down my pipes"

[Anonymous No.11193437]

>>11193413
>until 35
25*

[Anonymous No.11193493]

>>11193156
I have depression


>>11193158
30
I'm cool with being single. I don't even plan on being in one spot and settling down can mess that up

[Anonymous No.11193513]

>>11188493
>lol I'm an alchoholic isn' that so quirky?
>Mama needs a drink after a long day of waitressing.

Poor people are the problem, but businesses feed into their habits.

[Anonymous No.11193516]

I think I'm the weird beer uncle.
I'm 36, single, love craft beer, homebrewer, get really drunk on Saturday night at home.

Where do I find a cat lady wine wife?

[Anonymous No.11193522]

>>11193516
>>11193493

[Anonymous No.11193534]

>>11193522
Yeh, I read her posts, she sounds perfect.

[Anonymous No.11193577]

>>11193516
>>11193493

Talk to each other! This is the kind of Hallmark love story you see once in a lifetime.

[Anonymous No.11193605]

>>11193577
ITT: /ck/ tries their hand at matchmaking.

But seriously, go for it!

[Anonymous No.11193609]

>>11189897
I can't stand people who drink and yet never get wasted.
There can't be a more NPC-like behavior.
>reasonablebuzz.jpb
where the fuck is your soul

[Anonymous No.11193622]

>>11193493
Are you sure there's no room for a weird beer uncle in your life?

>>11193516
Do you like cats?

[Anonymous No.11193651]

>>11193622
Yeh I like cats. Our family had pet cats while I was living at home.

I'm not that weird of a beer uncle.
I have a decent job and it's physical labor so I'm in pretty decent shape, I own a house and earn ok money.
I like fishing, bushwalking, recently traded in my boat for a jet ski.

It'd be nicely convenient if my perfect wine drinking, pet cat having auntie lived in Australia.

[Anonymous No.11193783]

>>11193651
>bushwalking
Wait a fucking minute, americans only asshole

[Anonymous No.11193855]

>>11193651
>>11193622
>>11193609
>>11193605
>>11193534
>>11193522

[Anonymous No.11193858]

>>11193651
I live in America but maybe one day our paths will cross.

[Anonymous No.11193889]

>ywn drink with your cool wine aunt and while musing about her recent divorce she awkwardly flirts with you and hell, even though she's a little chubby now she was always hot in a boozy demi moore way and gave you your first drink, so your common sense floats away...you spend a night together and it's uncomfortable, but alright...until she confesses about that abortion she once had and starts sobbing, so you force yourself asleep and wake up the next morning sober and full of regret, so you leave immediately and never speak with her about it again

[Anonymous No.11194050]

>>11193516

Go to a supernatural con

[Anonymous No.11194063]

>>11188493
Is there a more worthless decoration then a sign with DUDE ALCOHOL LMAO?

[Anonymous No.11194151]

>ITT: woman claims to enjoy being single
>/ck/ disregards this and tries to set her up with a thirsty dude
>a thirsty dude who obviously already read her other posts and dreamed up something fun and related that he could post about himself to hopefully pique her interest
I don't want kids and have never liked the idea of having kids, yet any time I mention this in passing, people treat me like I must be mentally unwell and couldn't possibly know what I want for myself.
You guys are ridiculous. This is /ck/ not /r9k/. Keep your thirsty posting to thirsty boards.

[Anonymous No.11194233]

>>11194151
Shut up homo

[Anonymous No.11194242]

>>11194151
Fuck you, if you say you are a woman on 4chan you get whats coming
Sharpie in pooper you fuckwad

[Anonymous No.11194438]

>>11194151
>I don't want kids
Yes you do lmao. Fair enough if you don't want to actually invest resources in them but you do, whether you think so or not.

[Anonymous No.11194489]

All whites taste the same. All reds taste the same. Prove me wrong.
I love wine but honestly there's no significant difference. It's just alcoholic grape juice, so let's stop pretending to be sophisticated.
>>11188493
Unironically know a gen x woman who has this kind of shit in her house. She convinced her husband not to have kids, they have "fur babies" instead. No joy in life, they're both glued to their careers and spend money to feel happiness.
They're the kind of people who buy gourmet olive oil blends and don't know how to use them because they can't cook.

[Anonymous No.11194601]

>>11194489
I drink cheap, and cheap red wine is absolute garbage. I only drink white and rarely rosé. Cheap reds are literally vinegar.

[Anonymous No.11194707]

>>11190948
Either underage or shut in.

[Anonymous No.11194708]

happy birthday, auntie!

[Anonymous No.11194719]

>>11191755
Breddy good b8

[Anonymous No.11194743]

>>11194708
>cumplernos
what did she mean by that?

[Anonymous No.11194746]

>>11194708
The top 75% of the picture screams that she's so desperate not to be the bottom 25%.

[Anonymous No.11194763]

I get why people like drinking wine but it's not my thing, I only cook with it once in a blue moon. What I don't get is why so many people (mostly women) are so obnoxious about it. Same goes for whiskey to some extend. The thought of building your identity upon consuming one specific thing seems alienating and weird, I prefer to keep my taste to myself unless I get asked.

[Anonymous No.11194861]

>>11193858
>>11193651

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.11195339]

>>11194151
They were just trying to be nice. Don't speak for people.

[Anonymous No.11195444]

>>11188493
Cool wine aunt and weird beer uncles are plebian. The true way is to be a destitute hig funcioning alcoholic, a real ticking time bomb. I remember fondly thinking "I can do one double shot of 120 proof ever clear. Why cant I do the whole bottle?" That night I clogged a bathtub with vomit that was a mixture of costco macaroni and the alcohol my body violently rejected. Mind you I blacked out earlier and became coherent in the middle of vomiting. I was exhausted so I just pulled myself into the clogged tub and went to sleep until the sun was down.

[Anonymous No.11195835]

>>11195444
So you binge drank once and now you think you have the stamina to go drink for drink with a well seasoned wine auntie?

[Anonymous No.11196984]

>>11195444
I know you're LARPing but how is destroying your body desirable in any way?

[Anonymous No.11197088]

>>11196984
Entropy is the ultimate force of the universe. All matter seeks decay.

[Anonymous No.11197182]

>>11196984
hummm because it's enjoyable??

[Anonymous No.11197232]

I spilled my powerlevel really hard recently. I had only had four or five cans of guiness and a third of a bottle of sake, and somebody asked me what the writing on the bottle said, and I told them I don't read dumb slanty eyed nigger runes.
This same night I said such things as "gooks and niggers aren't people so it's ok to shit-talk them", "we really should wipe away all these island niggers (polynesians, maori, etc)", "abos literally aren't human" (this one is 100% true, they're not), and I used the infamous Seinfeld joke.

How will I ever recover?

[Anonymous No.11197235]

>>11197232
I don't know. Maybe kill yourself. I mostly think it's funny that you might earnestly believe you're in good company here.

[Anonymous No.11197280]

>>11191702
u wot m8

[Anonymous No.11197293]

How much less calories are there in similar alcohol contents of wine, beer or vodka and light mixer?

[Anonymous No.11197470]

alcoholic childless men
>violent
>abusive
>obnoxious and rowdy

alcoholic childless women
>flirty
>giggly
>playful

hmmmmmm

[Anonymous No.11197662]

>>11194489
>All whites taste the same. All reds taste the same.
Drink more and better wine or get a better palate you retard.

[Anonymous No.11197664]

>>11194708
>that face
Yep she definitely snorts coke for desert.

[Anonymous No.11197674]

>>11197664
>desert

[Anonymous No.11197680]

>>11188545
>Live in town called Grapevine
>Two weekends out of the year, the center of town becomes impassable
>Once for a wine aunt festival, once for a craft beer festival
>The rest of the year, the main street is shops full of tacky boutiques that attract old people from all over the states
Don't even get me started on Christmas

[Anonymous No.11197745]

>>11193889
hot

[Anonymous No.11197830]

My mom was the cool wine aunt.
Have to say, there's nothing cool about having a wine mom.

[Anonymous No.11198034]

>>11193858
:'(

[Anonymous No.11198075]

>big family gathering
>i'm 15
>family finds old photos of my uncle when he was in school
>he looks exactly like me
>tfw my uncle's hot wife gets drunk and starts rubbing my leg

[Anonymous No.11198087]

>>11193516
The gay bar

[Anonymous No.11198112]

>>11194743
Crumpled anus

[Anonymous No.11198119]

>>11197088
Entropy is about thermodynamics not matter

[Anonymous No.11198131]

Always saw cringy meme potential in those facebook posts bragging about drinking a lot of wine. Just like the ones about coffee.

[Anonymous No.11198148]

>>11188493
Not me, I just like parrot as many stupid memes as I can though. Like a child.

[Anonymous No.11198207]

>>11190931
As you said but without sarcasm

[Anonymous No.11198211]

>>11188493
>wineaunt gets back from her 5th trip to Spain
>talks all about her 'adventures' and what fun she had
>gets tipsy and talks about the men she slept with over there
>gets a little more drunk and makes a joke about the men she can allure getting older and less attractive each time she goes
>Fawns over my sister
>Shit-talks my mum about wasting her life with parenting
>Gets hammered
>Lays on the porch lounge with her head in my lap and asks me about my future
>Breaks down crying
>Tells me how much she regrets wasting her life
>Her period was late on holiday, and she was actually completely overjoyed until a doctor told her the chances of her having a child are practically nill
>Tells me she's considered suicide because she can't stand the idea of spending the next 2+ decades alone
>Gets up next morning without a hangover
>Continues to mock my mum before saying her goodbyes and heading off

Both my sister and I have started spending a lot more time with her since that night. Just praying she doesn't get turned down by some guy and goes through with it.

[Anonymous No.11198225]

>>11198211
Hahahaha women are pathetic.

[Anonymous No.11198246]

>>11198225
Says the guy railing against an entire gender on a site that houses the greatest concentration of NEET losers on the internet.

[Anonymous No.11198252]

>>11198246
Uh no sweety, time to go back to plebbit

[Anonymous No.11198285]

>>11198246
who hurt you honey

[Anonymous No.11199459]

>>11193858
Australians suck anyway

[Anonymous No.11199530]

>>11198119
All matter is energy

[Anonymous No.11199717]

>>11196984
Because I live a shitty life that I embrace and I try to be as deplorable as I can

[Anonymous No.11199785]

>>11197830
Wine aunts don't have kids

[Anonymous No.11199824]

>>11199785
yes, because they stop being wine aunts after they have kids

[Anonymous No.11200480]

[Anonymous No.11200520]

>tfw work at a winery
>tfw actually know a lot about wine and have to cater to late-30s early-40s women and their terrible flirting and samey jokes

are their wholesome women who like wine? asking for a friend

[Anonymous No.11200533]

>>11200520
No. I’m not just being an incel, but from my experience anyone who only drinks low abv beverages is the kind of person who is typical of blaming ANYTHING on “just being drunk”, and are therefore prone to acting a fucking fool after a few drinks and using it as an excuse.
Get either a nodrink or vodka gf.

[Anonymous No.11201187]

>>11197232
>"gooks and niggers aren't people so it's ok to shit-talk them", "we really should wipe away all these island niggers (polynesians, maori, etc)", "abos literally aren't human"
Where is the lie?

[Anonymous No.11201192]

>>11200520
>their
there*
guess you're not so smart to be so hoighty-toighty
if you blame auto-correct then you're a dipshit phoneposter

[Anonymous No.11201247]

>>11201192
Honey you need another glass to relax with =) life is about having fun!

[Anonymous No.11201256]

>>11201192
Spotted the roastie. Tuck your labia back in before one of your cats tries to scratch it.

[Anonymous No.11201279]

>>11200520
Yeah there's definitely hope anon, half of the staff at my favourite wine bar are female and they're all pretty nice.

I think wineries attract tourists who just like the views and don't care too much about wine, which is why you're suffering so much.

[Anonymous No.11201309]

>>11190931
Never seen these kinds of women with red wine before. It's always the white stuff. Maybe it varies by country.

[Anonymous No.11201380]

>>11191547
Wrong, here's why: as an incel I hate women even though I haven't talked to one in fourteen years. Now back to >>>/pol/ with you, mister.

[Anonymous No.11202589]

https://youtu.be/kr-FZlq78EM

[Anonymous No.11202598]

>>11188493
Show your tits, whore

[Anonymous No.11203814]

>>11197293
This is 4chan, not a search engine. Try again.