/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11454347]

*drools*

[Anonymous No.11454357]

>>11454347
this is stupid. how do you even take a bite of that?

[Anonymous No.11454390]

>>11454357
You don't. Burgers like these are advertisements. You're meant to take a picture of it, put it on Instagram, and caption it "Just got a great burger from Chad's Burger Shack!". Then you disassemble it and eat only one quarter of it, with knife and fork. Same with those giant ice cream things, nobody is really meant to consume that shit, it's free social media for the restaurant.

[Anonymous No.11454395]

Why is there a fucking syringe in it?

[Anonymous No.11454405]

>>11454395
Probably full of barbecue sauce or something. Gay hipster burger presentation at maximum.

[Anonymous No.11454408]

>>11454395
It's probably BBQ sauce or something to inject into the center, I've seen other places doing it. I guess they think it makes their food unique or that people will have more fun interacting with it instead of just eating it.

[Anonymous No.11454430]

>>11454390
just gimme a normal fucken burger

[Anonymous No.11454442]

>>11454347
mmm.. steamed burger

[Anonymous No.11454447]

>>11454442
i'm from utica and i've never heard of this

[Anonymous No.11454449]

>>11454395
Because shit taste. Nobody actually wants it. These places always go out of business.

[Anonymous No.11454450]

>>11454347
Am I the only one that wants to shove their cock in that burger?

[Anonymous No.11454451]

>>11454447
Oh no, it's more of an Albany expression.

[Anonymous No.11454456]

I need it brehs

[Anonymous No.11454457]

>>11454395
its an insulin shot for after you eat

[Anonymous No.11454461]

°drools°

[Anonymous No.11454464]

>>11454456
Totally impractical. Too big, messy, falling apart. 2/10, this isn't cooking this is sculpting with food.

[Anonymous No.11454467]

*mouth orgasm*

[Anonymous No.11454471]

>>11454457
I hope it's not insulin, it's brown.

[Anonymous No.11454475]

>>11454471
its coca cola brand insulin

[Anonymous No.11454479]

>>11454451
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.

[Anonymous No.11454488]

>>11454475
Nah man, everything in the future is gonna be Carl's Jr.

[Anonymous No.11454490]

>>11454479
Ho ho, no, patented Skinner burgers! Old family recipe.

[Anonymous No.11454497]

>>11454490
for steamed hams?

[Anonymous No.11454502]

>>11454497
Yes.

[Anonymous No.11454504]

>>11454502
you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they're obviously grilled

[Anonymous No.11454506]

>>11454504
Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.

[Anonymous No.11454516]

THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE

[Anonymous No.11454522]

>>11454516
no, mother...it's just the northern lights

[Anonymous No.11454523]

°drools°

[Anonymous No.11454525]

>>11454479
Quite similar to the ones they have at Chuck's Fuck and Suck

[Anonymous No.11454526]

>>11454523

[Anonymous No.11454528]

>>11454525
formerly sneed's?

[Anonymous No.11454566]

>>11454522

[Anonymous No.11454577]

>>11454347
looks really good. only potential problem I see is that the bun will most likely start falling apart when i go to eat it

[Anonymous No.11454582]

>>11454577
The entire thing will fall apart.

[Anonymous No.11454607]

>>11454347
What is a syringe doing there?

[Anonymous No.11454613]

>>11454607
>>11454405

[Anonymous No.11454627]

>America's awake on the other side of world
>Nothing but burger threads with amerifats drooling over disgusting masses of grease
Seems accurate

[Anonymous No.11454631]

Why is there a syringe in there? Like what?

[Anonymous No.11454671]

>>11454631
ffs read 5 posts into the thread you faggots
>>11454405

[Anonymous No.11456050]

>>11454627
>obsessed

[Anonymous No.11456055]

why is ok put ketchup on burger but no steak?

[Anonymous No.11456426]

>>11454627
Still better food (and beer) than you, Ahmed.

[Anonymous No.11456453]

>>11454347
>>11454456
>>11454467
Why make a burger so obnoxiously unwieldy?
Literally the best way to eat those monstrosities is with a knife and fork but you can't do that without being a massive faggot.
Make it smaller, and sell a two burger combo

[Anonymous No.11456467]

>>11456426
American beer is the foulest thing on the planet.

[Anonymous No.11456478]

It needs onion; on it, or in ring form

[Anonymous No.11456549]

>>11454347
*needs it*

[Anonymous No.11456728]

>>11454357
Squish the fuck out of it. I've had giant burgers before.

[Anonymous No.11457507]

>>11454357
Knife and fork

[Anonymous No.11457528]

We've gotten to that breaking point of decadence in our society where the spectacle of excess is more important than our actual enjoyment of the act.

Food is overwhelming, sex is painful, material possessions are non-functional. The point isn't the actual use, it's about your perception of partaking in hedonistic excess.

Somewhere out there, a barbarian subsists on millet gruel while you fatten yourself up like a Christmas goose.

[Anonymous No.11457573]

>>11456426
>American canned piss water
>good
C'mon anon, not even you are that stupid

[Anonymous No.11457819]

>>11454430
>onion and lettuce on top instead of below patty
>bottom bun soggy and falling apart
pls lrn proper burger construction

[Anonymous No.11457836]

>>11457528
>sex is painful
what did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.11457847]

>>11454467
*Gag*

[Anonymous No.11457852]

>>11457836
Christcuck nonesense no doubt.

[Anonymous No.11458139]

>>11454347
Ideal burger from a local place near me
>bottom bun isn't soggy ass
>buffalo meat, grilled on flat top then steamed with ice cube
>smoked jalapenos
>can actually fit it into your mouth

[Anonymous No.11458780]

>>11456728
Sure man just squash all the air out of your buns and squeeze all the juice out of the meat and let the sauce all run down the sides and mash the cheese into the vegetables. Just squash it down lol.

[Anonymous No.11458788]

>>11458139
>steamed with ice cube
Nani?

[Anonymous No.11458789]

>>11454347
That's fucking overkill.
Definitely American.
Not saying I wouldn't eat it... I would, but it's way too OTT.

[Anonymous No.11458813]

>>11456055
This answer has been provided several times in a few recent threads about it and you just keep choosing to ignore it, asking the exact same question over and over again word for word. Well guess what, your gaslighting does not work on me.

[Anonymous No.11458846]

>>11457819
no, stupid. everyone knows the fixins go on top of the batty. fucken eurofaggot. don't know nuthin bout makin burgahs

[Anonymous No.11458852]

>>11458788
burger on flat top
put bowl over burger and slip an ice cube under the bowl
makes the burger nice and juicy

[Anonymous No.11458876]

>>11458852
Well shit, I need to buy a heat-proof bowl and try this.

[Anonymous No.11458899]

Do europeans really think this dosn't look tasty? Like, they wouldnt want to have that for lunch today? Pic related if what I had for lunch. This was from the menu but yeah.. Its also only about half that size in reality. Shit is always delicious. 7X7 burger from steak and shake. Learned about it from another anon here.

[Anonymous No.11458955]

>>11458899
The absolute state of Americans.

[Anonymous No.11458970]

>>11458876
any metal bowl works fine. It's great for buffalo burgers because they tend to be more on the lean side.

[Anonymous No.11458980]

>>11458876
he's memeing with you. it's bad enough it releases juices itself, but adding water?

[Anonymous No.11458999]

>>11458955
You are full of shit if youre telling me you wouldnt wolf that shit down.

[Anonymous No.11459003]

>>11454347
Is the burger drooling? It looks sentient with that menacing Frankenstein syringe sticking out!

[Anonymous No.11459119]

>>11458980
Try it, brainlet.

[Anonymous No.11460797]

>>11454395
It's the adrenaline they'll have to jam into your heart once it stops from eating this.

[Anonymous No.11460802]

>>11457573
American beer is the craft beer industry, which is leagues ahead of any other national beer market

[Anonymous No.11460867]

Hand burgers, raw edition

[Anonymous No.11460888]

>>11454357
Europoor detected

[Anonymous No.11461006]

>>11454456
I can fucking hear that burger

[Anonymous No.11461501]

>>11457507
This absolute pussy.

[Anonymous No.11462492]

>>11456453
You just shove your face into it. Yeah there will be some drippage and you'll need a napkin, but in places that serve stuff like that it's expected. Enjoy the decadence.

[Anonymous No.11463329]

>>11454347

[Anonymous No.11463353]

>>11456453
You hold it with both of your hands, and begin eating the most exposed section first. How is this hard to understand? the first 3-5 bites don't even include the bun usually.
It's like looking at a rack of ribs and going 'Oh my goodness how do you even begin eating that!?'. You'd have to be an idiot.

[Anonymous No.11463889]

>>11454442
you mean steamed ham

[Anonymous No.11464421]

>>11454395
It's most likely a burger from the heart attack grill

[Anonymous No.11464599]

>>11454467
probably just tastes like salt

[Anonymous No.11464622]

>>11454357
>Evolutionarily retarded europoor hasn't into unhinging jaw yet
Fucking lmao, enjoy your tiny portions you fix-faced fuck.
>Swallows wedding cake to dab on you

[Anonymous No.11464638]

>>11454395
It's a mixture of insulin, black tar heroin, and adrenaline.
Keeps your heart and kidneys going while also satiating the flyovers raging opiate dependancy.

[Anonymous No.11464644]

Peasant food

for fat peasants
who loathe themselves

who smell of shit

and cant wipe their asses right

[Anonymous No.11464654]

Whos wives wont have sex with them

because they smell and have crust in the fat rolls

they have zero culture
zero class, sophistication or taste

pure trash

put them in camps

[Anonymous No.11464660]

Zen Fascists will come for you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race

and always wear a happy face

[Anonymous No.11464664]

YOU ARE FAT LAZY AND YOU STINK

YOU CONSUME DEAD FLESH BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS A MESS

FUCKING GROW UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT

[Anonymous No.11464671]

>>11464644
>>11464654
>>11464660


>no u

[Anonymous No.11464732]

>>11457528
based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.11464982]

[Anonymous No.11465066]

>>11454450
Nope! But I haven't eaten in 6 days so that might be why

[Anonymous No.11465098]

Am I the only one who just likes regular burgers that aren't too fancy?
>butter toasted buns
>lettuce
>tomato
>onion
>mayo
>processed cheese
>fried patty smashed into bacon grease
>bacon

[Anonymous No.11466002]

>>11454442
>>11454447
>>11454451
>>11454479
>>11454490
>>11454497
>>11454502
>>11454504
>>11454506
>>11454516
>>11454522

[Anonymous No.11466511]

>>11466002
I've been monitoring this thread all day and never caught this. I am fucking ashamed of myself rn.

[Anonymous No.11467911]

>>11454490
>>11457836
>>>11457528
>>sex is painful
>what did he mean by this?
He fuckin a cactus or some shit

[Anonymous No.11467972]

>>11463329
Haha love a good conker reference

[Anonymous No.11468083]

>>11457819
>putting lettuce below te patty so your tongue tastes lettuce instead of beef

Absolute fucktard

[Anonymous No.11468163]

>>11465066
explain

[Anonymous No.11468272]

>>11454488
I wonder how many different fast food places they went to before they found one who agreed to let them do that for the movie.

[Anonymous No.11468994]

>>11468272


And as far as the products stuff, I remember writing it and going, “Oh man, there’s no way we’re going to clear all of this stuff.” And I had a meeting with the lawyers, who were actually really cool and really liked the script. [laughs] And in the Beavis & Butt-Head movie I couldn’t even have a bottle that was shaped like a Jack Daniel’s bottle. I couldn’t have, there was more, it was just ridiculous on that [movie].

But on Idiocracy, when we were talking about Starbucks, the lawyers said, “Well, it would help if you didn’t pick on just one company and if you did more than one.” So, [laughs] I was like okay, and that’s why there’s the whole red light district with Starbucks and there’s an H&R Block with “Tax Return and Relief,” and all of that. But the other stuff, Carl Jr’s, that was all in the script, and I couldn’t believe it all cleared.

[Anonymous No.11470284]

>>11461006
DAH-DIDDLY DAH-DIDDLY DAH-DEE-DEE-DAH

[Anonymous No.11470399]

>>11458789
based moderation-anon

[Anonymous No.11470432]

>>11454347
Why is that excessively cheesy burger getting shot up with smack? It's not like cannabis where infusing the drug can actually add to the flavor positively, it'll throw the taste all off with bitterness. Just give me a shot first and the burger for when I wake up from the nod

[Anonymous No.11470441]

>>11470432
Seek help

[Anonymous No.11470444]

>>11470441
Who the fuck are you to judge my lifestyle, dickweed? You post on /ck/ ffs

[Anonymous No.11470452]

>>11470444
I’m not a junkie retard so I’m instantly exponentially better than you as a person. Again, get your shit together.

[Anonymous No.11470522]

>>11454347
A "burger" that needs external support (e.g. a knife stuck through it) is not a burger, but a stack of food.
I found that to be a reasonable threshold for the term.

[Anonymous No.11470563]

>>11470432
Ever read Burrough's, "Junkie?" He said he just drank coffee and ate sweet rolls and shit when he was hitting it. He didn't want to fuck either unless he was in w/d.

[Anonymous No.11470590]

>>11470452
>I’m not a junkie
Oh yes you most certainly are. If you weren't you'd be living entirely off the grid and wouldn't be posting. Enjoy your delusions of grandeur superiority when you're precisely the same as a heroin junkie.

I can't wait until trump drafts you for his world war and you go into w/d from lack of internet play time.

[Anonymous No.11470603]

>>11470590
I’m already a military veteran, the threat of enlistment isn’t nightmarishly terrifying to me as it is to your soy and heroin riddled brain. By the way numbnuts, military personnel have plenty of access to internet these days. Junkie idiot.

[Anonymous No.11471272]

>>11454525
Kek

[Anonymous No.11471321]

>>11454347
Am I the only one who hates a ton of onions on shit?

[Anonymous No.11471360]

>>11465098
I prefer this, but skip the tomato and double up on the pickles and onions.

[Anonymous No.11471416]

>>11470563
Best food when on straight up opiates is gummy candy like haribo bears and sour patch kids, but if you're just dumping dopamine by mixing opiates with booze and/or benzos you won't pass up a good burger. Just good luck shitting it out the day after

>>11470603
Bait'd like a cuck. You're probably the type of holier-than-thou who spouts off that cannabis is dangerous, addictive, and kills brain cells. Ironically enough, its your specific brand of idiocy that could benefit from the humbling (and healing) of a psychedelic experience the most.

[Anonymous No.11471465]

>>11471416

>muh drugs muh drugs

why is your reality so bad

[Anonymous No.11471590]

>>11471465
Feels pretty good man. Buy adult products that I enjoy with my adult money that I make with my adult job. Fulfilling as all get out.

[Anonymous No.11472128]

>>11471590
>look at what an adult I am because I consume drugs

[Anonymous No.11472154]

>>11471590
I'll say hi to you when I see you strapped to the bed in the unit going through DTs and yelling at the painting on the wall.

[Anonymous No.11472371]

>>11471590
You sound like you're 16 desu

[Anonymous No.11472514]

>>11472128
>>11472154
>>11472371
>all this cope
Everyone has their vices, be it excessive media consumption or overeating or overspending on collections/hobbies. These are looked down on by those who don't share the vice, but simultaneously are a source of camaraderie for those who do share it. These vices don't hurt anyone else and are a way to keep boredom at bay or relax. All can be taken to the point of excess to the detriment of the individual, and that is a problem up to the individual to correct. Casual drug use is no different.

[Anonymous No.11472545]

>>11458980
best way to melt cheese without a salamander also

[Anonymous No.11472551]

>>11472514
Except they do hurt other people, dipshit.

[Anonymous No.11472562]

>>11454347
If the syringe is full of American patriotism, I'm in. Cuz...fuck everyone else.

[Anonymous No.11472566]

>>11454347
>REMOVE BUN
>REMOVE CONDIMENTS
NOW THE BURGER IS HEALTHY

LITTLE DID THE BRAINWASHED SHEEPLE KNOW THAT THEY COULD EAT NOTHING BUT BURGER PATTIES EVERY DAY AND MAINTAIN OPTIMAL HEALTH!?!?!

MEATHEALS.COM

[Anonymous No.11472577]

>literally all burgers are like €10 now