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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12308086 No.12308086 [Reply] [Original]

How do you open a beverage can quietly?

>> No.12308097

>>12308086

Underwater.

>> No.12308112

in a vacuum

>> No.12308113

under a pillow

>> No.12308115

Press your palm/heel of your hand against the lid while you crack it

>> No.12308116

>>12308097
brilliant. never thought of this

>> No.12308168

>>12308115
This works. Based smart anon.

>> No.12308174

>>12308086
what's wrong, your parents banned you from soda because you were throwing too many autism fits while playing nintendo?

>> No.12308178

>>12308174
No my wife is Muslim and I need a drink

>> No.12308179

>>12308086
Make a hole on the side of it

>> No.12308181
File: 43 KB, 644x800, 1554888085976.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12308181

>>12308086
>>12308174
Kek fuckin owned!

>> No.12308183

>>12308168
I am an alcoholic

>> No.12308187

>>12308183
I'm never doubted you were.

>> No.12308284

Cough as you open it

>> No.12309033

the sound of a carbonated can being opened is actually made up of two components, there's the hiss of the gas being vented out and the metal crack of the can.
to minimize the total sound of opening a can, split your opening procedure into two parts
>crack can just enough to vent gas
>use a pocket knife or other object to open the can the rest of the way

>> No.12309040
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12309040

>>12308115
this, also do it while under the covers of your bed.
it’s also best to only break the seal of the fan and suck the contents out; cracking it open creates too much sound.

>> No.12309045
File: 158 KB, 300x300, 1555481108736.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12309045

>>12308086
very slowly, and put your thumb, index and middle finger tightly around the tab as you pull.

>> No.12309171

>>12309033
This. My mother and father detested any form of junk food and would ground me if I was found consuming it so I had to open cans quietly; this always worked.

>> No.12311021

When I bring a couple cans of beer to the movies I like to put the entire top part of the can in my mouth and use my two front teeth as a pry to open it while the gas quickly but quietly gets contained in my mouth. Same method when accepting braps.

>> No.12311077

Like this desu

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vSK3maq8Cyk

>> No.12311584

>>12311021
Ew wtf is wrong with you

>> No.12311597

>>12311077
i laughed

>> No.12311660

>>12311077
based and boomerpilled

>> No.12311736

>>12308174
based bait-obliging retard anon

>> No.12311918
File: 38 KB, 300x250, 1554720167324.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12311918

>>12308086
oh man
>be me in middle school
>wear cargo shorts cause im bout dat
>smuggle in can of black cheery soda
>go to bathroom to drink it like some kind of heroin addict
> crack that bad boy open
>CRRRAAAACKKK HISSSSSSSS!!!!!
>HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LOUD!!!
>Its probably fine im in the bathroom
>chug in one sip
> step into hall
>mfw not one but 3!!! teachers have their doors open looking out waiting for me
>think quick...shit ....uhh...i know i'll run past them really fast so they can't see me... brilliant
>mfw it doesn't work at all...how could this be?
>teachers rub it in even further by pointing out i basically plead guilty by running
>makes sense, teachers were black...

>> No.12312220

Just grab the remote and turn the volume down first, duh.

>> No.12312255

>>12308086
You open it under a heavy blanket like a comforter and make sure it's enclosed on all sides. If it's a really thick blanket and you do this no one will be able to hear it.

>> No.12312260

>>12308086
Poke a hole in the side with le needle and suck it

>> No.12312431

>>12311736
calm down and go play your nintendo before you sperg out again, kid

>> No.12312434

take it to the garage and use a power drill

>> No.12312454

>>12312434
Perfect! Then I can tell my wife I'm just doing construction. Baez edanin saves the day!

>> No.12312464

>>12308086
Oven mit / glove.

Used to use this tactic when I was a functional alcoholic living in an apartment with my wife. Told her I didn't drink during the week, but I did. Cracked open hundreds of brews in an oven glove without her knowing while I cooked her delicious meals. Got fucked up while cooking, not bad.

I am sober now ... my life is pain.

>> No.12312468

>>12312464
Forgot to add the method:

Place can into glove with one hand, clench and grip the glove around your wrist in the glove and the top of the can and just open quickly.

>> No.12312478

>>12308178
So beat her and tell her to obey her husband

>> No.12312501

>>12308086
You fart while opening. Everybody gets so distracted by the fart sound that they don't notice the sound of the can opening.

>> No.12313147

>>12312478
>thinking muslim qts are really submissive passive cucks

She'd literally behead me my dude

>> No.12313170

>>12313147
You’re pathetic. My GF let’s me drink and eat whatever I want and she gives me head whenever I want. Let me guess the last time you and your wife had “sex” was another under the blanket handy with her listening to music on full blast to zone out the sad and pathetic whimpers you let out as you came?

>> No.12313310

>>12311077
kek, didn't expect to laugh. based

>> No.12313858

>>12312431
the only one in the thread

>> No.12313879

>>12311077
I remembered this video when I read OPs post, came here and there it is. Based.

>> No.12313900

Rip open some Velcro while you open the can

>> No.12313902

drink from bottles instead

>> No.12314021

*opens can coke*

nothin personnel kid

>> No.12315226

>>12309033
This, except you can just use your fingers to gently and slowly push in (no homo) on the side that budged first.

>> No.12316550

Pretend you have to take a piss, sneak your can into the washroom and do the half open hiss method, coupled with the heel of hand on lid method while flushing the toilet, or while pissing.

Walk out pretending like you had a can the entire time and they're the crazy ones for not noticing.

>> No.12316776

>>12313900
But I only have too hands

>> No.12316785

>>12313170
>My GF let’s me drink and eat whatever I want
>let’s me
lol

>> No.12316849

>>12308178
How does her family feel about you?

>> No.12316883

I have muslim parents, but my dad is an alcholic. My family quietly knows about it, and we're all deeply ashamed. I'm not religious these days, but I still don't drink alcohol in a way to affirm to myself that I won't turn out like him. Might take up eating ham, though.

>> No.12316895
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12316895

>>12313170
>my gf lets me


Cuck checked

>> No.12316947

>>12316785
kek, nice catch

>> No.12317078

This thread deserves a Virgin/Chad meme

>> No.12317225

>>12308086
puncture it with a key first to let out the pressurized air, works every time.

>> No.12317235

>>12311021
I'm aging being at the movies and seeing the retard next to you shove a whole beer can in his mouth

>> No.12317500
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12317500

>>12313170
BASED legitimately-insecure-poster

>> No.12317514
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12317514

>>12313170
>my gf lets me
oh no no no

>> No.12318846

Poke a hole in it with something sharp.

>> No.12319405

>>12317500
dancing baby, oldest of oldfags

>> No.12319409

>>12311077
woah it works

>> No.12319449

>>12319405
That's not the dancing baby. I bet you haven't even seen every episode of Ally McBeal.